deuce: I IDENTIFY AS A G2 TYPE MAIN SEQUENCE YELLOW DWARF STAR pants: TAKE IT OFF spigot: HANG YOURSELF

spigot: PINK PINK BINK BA-DINK PINK DINK PA-DINK BINK PINK spigot: THE ONE LIGHT ABOVE YOU THAT WILL NOT TURN ON pants: BUZZZZZZZ pants: HUMMMMMMM

spigot: HELLO spigot: CLONK spigot: BONK spigot: HOW DOES THIS WORK spigot: HURP

pants: LIE DOWN AND THINK NICE THOUGHTS AND JUST BE GAY WITH ME spigot: I'M A CLEVER CLEVER MAN pants: JUST STOP LOOKING FOR PIRATE TREASURE AND BE GAY WITH ME spigot: SERIOUSLY THERE ARE PIECES OF EIGHT JINGLE-JANGLING AROUND MY PANTS/SOCKS pants: FINE THEN I'LL FIND SOMEBODY WHO WILL BE GAY WITH ME spigot: IF YOU CAN REACH IN AND GRAB THEM THAT WOULD BE SUPER

deuce: APPEASEMENT ONLY MAKES THE AGGRESSOR MORE AGGRESSIVE pants: I DIDN'T WANT TO LICK HIS DICK ANYWAY

pants: SNIFF : DEUCE COMFORTS PANTS pants: KICKS ROCK, LOOKS AT SHOES pants: DIDN'T WANT NO STUPID OLD DICK ANYWAY

deuce: THE ONE WHERE KIRK AND UHURA KISS spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO FART IN YOUR FACE FOR THE FULL HOUR spigot: $20 $40 $60 $80 ETC deuce: I THINK THAT WOULD BE AT THE $60 LEVEL deuce: OKAY A QUARTER spigot: I'M BROKE deuce: A FREEBIE THEN

spigot: THEY CAN'T RECALL THE ONES IN MY CUPBOARD!!!!!!!! HOMPTH GHLGT)GK spigot: HGURBHJR%JB pants: ARE YOU OKAY spigot: PUFFIES

pants: i'll have the fat boy's asshole (it's the only gluten-free item on the menu) deuce: oh my

spigot: FOLKS THE ONLY MEASURED, LOGICAL RESPONSE IS A JERKCITY CARD GAME WITH A BIG THICK HARDCOVER RULEBOOK RIDDLED WITH INCONSISTENCIES AND IMPOSSIBLE TO FOLLOW OR PLAY CORRECTLY deuce: PSST THOSE ARE MOST CARD GAMES spigot: PLEASE DON'T CONTRADICT ME IN FRONT OF THE WEB CARTOONISTS

spigot: AM I THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF DRINKING 12 CANS OF GUINNESS BEFORE NOON WHERE'S MY GODDAMN PARADE DOWN QUEER STREET pants: IS THAT THE SAMETHING AS A JUICE CLEANSE

spigot: AM I THE ONLY GODDAMN LIAR IN AMERICA STILL LYING spigot: i hope no girls read this

pants: GAHHHHH 2019 spigot: i'm still writing i lick dick on my checks spigot: the only place I can blog safely spigot: nope, wells fargo just told everyone

pants: T DEUCE PLEASE DON'T BEAT ME OFF IN ANGER deuce: T PANTS THAT IS THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW

pants: LOVE ME LIKE THE SON YOU HUMPED TO DEATH pants: NO THE OTHER ONE pants: YES FINE EITHER ONE THEN

deuce: FORCING MYSELF ON YOU ozone: EATING THE ENTIRE BAG OF COOKIES

ozone: 0003 4707 3EF6 ozone: HMM, THAT MEETING'S STARTED ozone: DO I CARE deuce: EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH SIX MONTHS RUNNING

pants: DOY I'M A PACK-MANG DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH (EACH DUH PUNCTUATES A DOT BEING EATEN) deuce: DUH DUH DUH SPROING OING OING (NOT DOING ANYTHING DIFFERENT) DUH DUH DUH DUH

atandt: GREETINGS FELLOW PRESBYTERIANS

spigot: SHUT UP pants: LET MY PEOPLE GO deuce: STEPHEN ROOT AS RICHARD CLARKE ?!?!?! atandt: REMEMBER THE PRIME DIRECTIVE atandt: I P FREELY spigot: HOO FLUNG DOO pants: MOUTH deuce: MOTHER FUCKERS

pants: ARE YOU MEL GIBSON IN THE PATRIOT ??? deuce: I'M THINKING YES

pants: WELL I BOUGHT A PEACOCK ONLINE pants: TURNS OUT THEY ARE A KIND OF BIRD spigot: I TRIED TO TELL YOU pants: CRAIGSLIST DOES NOT TAKE RETURNS

atandt: LIES! deuce: AGREED deuce: I MEAN WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT atandt: THE STORY ABOUT THE PENGUIN atandt: IT'S NOT TRUE deuce: OH

pants: MY FELLOW AMERICANS pants: I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE PENNY ANTE INCIDENT pants: WE ARE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO FILM IN NEW JERSEY pants: APPARENTLY WE GIVE ITALIAN-AMERICANS A BAD NAME pants: REMEMBER THE TIME MY FACE GOT STUCK LIKE THIS pants: LET US LEARN FROM THE FUTURE SO WE CAN LOOK BACK AND URINATE ON THE PAST pants: WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED YOU ASK pants: IT'S WHAT pants: OH PENNY ARCADE pants: THEY ALL LOOK LIKE FUCKING BLOOM COUNTY TO ME pants: NONSENSICAL SYLLABLES AND PREPOSTEROUS GAY ACTS

deuce: I HEREBY DECLARE THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF JERKCITY deuce: MASS EXECUTIONS WILL BEGIN SHORTLY

deuce: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY INABILITY TO MAINTAIN AN ERECTION WITHOUT THE PERVASIVE SMELL OF TURPENTINE pants: KIND OF

spigot: TO THE GROUND WITH YOU! DOWN -- BEFORE THE MIGHT OF DORMAMMU pants: THE ANCIENT ONE IS SENDING ME A MENTAL SUMMONS ! THE TIME IS AT HAND -- HE WILL CHOOSE THE INSTANT! AND -- HE TELLS ME -- NOW spigot: WHAT IS THIS ?? YOU START TO DRAW BACK -- STRAINING AGINST ME AS IF WITH NEW-FOUND STRENGTH pants: THE TIME FOR PRETENSE IS PAST! spigot: I WANTED TO DO THE HULK VS. THE THING

spigot: OKAY ***NOW*** ARE YOU MARRIED pants: NO pants: I MEAN SURE spigot: GREAT, HERE'S WHAT YOU DO spigot: NEXT TIME YOU'RE SINGING "DANNY BOY" spigot: AND YOU GET TO THE PART ABOUT THE PIPES spigot: ABOUT HOW THE PIPES / THE PIPES / ARE CALLING spigot: ASK YOUR WIFE IF SHE CAN HEAR THIS PIPE CALLING spigot: THEN PUSH HER EAR AGAINST YOUR PENIS spigot: YOU CAN DO THIS IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT OR DURING THE DAY

pants: I PAY THE PISS BILL spigot: BE GAY WITH ME OR SHUT UP deuce: NO spigot: HOME TO JERK (SERIOUSLY) deuce: I MEANT OKAY pants: HEY MISTER pants: I PAY THE PISS BILL deuce: WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME

spigot: MAYDAY MAYDAY I'M GOING DOWN spigot: SNEAKING OUT spigot: CONNECTION CLOSED BY FOREIGN HOST. deuce: DO I SMELL OR SOMETHING spigot: CLOMP CLOMP *SLAM* spigot: MAYDAY MAYDAY I'M GOING DOWN spigot: SNEAKING OUT

spigot: HOW ARE WE ALL DOING ON OUR PLEDGE TO HAVE MORE CANNOLIS DELIVERED TO OUR HOMES VIA UBER EATS

pants: NOT SURE WHAT THE POINT OF A BIGGER DICK IS pants: IF SHE SEES IT I'M GOING TO FUCK HER UP WITH IT pants: SOME KIND OF FANTASYLAND WHERE NO MEANS NO

pants: THE POKING pants: THE POKING deuce: SO THERE ARE TWO POKINGS

: Groups fighting for drug legalization are also upset about a second portion of the Hatch-Feinstein bill. It creates another felony, punishable by up to 10 years in the federal pen, banning distribution "by any means" of information about "the manufacture or use of a controlled substance" if the recipient might use it to get high. pants: HEY HERE'S A VALUABLE TIP: IF YOU WANT TO GET HIGH, TAKE DRUGS !!! NOW CAN I PLEASE GO TO PRISON OR POSSIBLY SOME MANNER OF UNCHARTED BOOT CAMP EXPERIENCE BRRRRR

pants: SUCKING DICKS USING THE POMODORO TECHNIQUE (25 DICKS THEN TAKE A BREAK WITH 5 TOTALLY DIFFERENT DICKS)

pants: THIS IS RADIO FREE BONEQUEST hanford: ... pants: GUESS WHAT I FOUND TODAY pants: I FOUND THE POO BUTTON hanford: THE WHAT pants: ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU THE PATH TO WISDOM AND NIRVANA AND ALL THAT GAY STUFF :: PUSHES THE BUTTON. pants: I LIKE IT SO FAR hanford: UH pants: IT'S WARM AND SMOOSHY AND WHAT HAVE YOU hanford: UH pants: BUBUBUBUB PROBLEM hanford: HALP pants: SAVE ME hanford: OH FUCK YOU

pants: WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THE POPE spigot: HIS WINDPIPE pants: POPE HOSPITALIZED pants: DIFFICULTY BREATHING spigot: I CALL IT HIS WINDPOPE

effigy: I'M THE POPE OF LOS ANGELES deuce: hail and well met, Pope

pants: I WANT TO DELIVER MAIL TO THE STALLS pants: PACKAGE FOR YOU SIR pants: KNOCK KNOCK I'VE GOT A POSTCARD FROM STALL 4 TO STALL 2 spigot: COME ON IN SORRY AS YOU CAN SEE THIS PLACE IS A MESS spigot: CLOSE THE DOOR spigot: HONK pants: OOF pants: LORDY LORD spigot: URG pants: SIGN HERE AND HERE AND HERE AND HULAGHLUAGHUAG HERE spigot: THANK YOU COME AGAIN

spigot: I HEARD LIQUOR MAKES THE GALS LOOSER!!! SO I SMASHED THE BOTTLE OVER HER HEAD

spigot: I ONLY SUCK DICK IN SELF DEFENSE spigot: AND AT THE BOOKSTORE pants: MUCH LIKE WALKER, TEXAS RANGER AND THAT OTHER FELLOW

spigot: OKAY HERE GOES spigot: DEAR FATTY, WELCOME TO DUMPSVILLE spigot: THIS IS THE HARDEST LETTER I'VE EVER HAD TO PUSH IN YOUR FACE spigot: YOU'RE FAT AND BORING spigot: PLEASE IF YOU COULD GO BE STUPID AT YOUR HOUSE INSTEAD OF HERE spigot: WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS THAT I CAN'T STAND YOU spigot: OH IT'S JUST COMING OUT ALL WRONG spigot: FUCK OFF

deuce: THEY DISCOVERED A NEW PARTICLE TODAY: THE PRICKALINO !!!!!!! pants: REALLY NOW pants: WHAT ARE ITS NESTING HABITS deuce: IT LIKES TO POKE AND PROD pants: WELL THEN

spigot: EVERY TIME I REACH INTO THE CAN THE PRINGLES ARE FARTHER AWAY ??? spigot: IS THIS SOME SORT OF QUANTUM TUBULAR PHENOMENON ?!? spigot: MY FIST IS GETTING SQUISHED INTO SPAGHETTI HERE !!! deuce: MOOSH IT ALL AROUND LIKE IT'S PASGHETTI net: IT IS BEST TO TEAR THE CAN TO BITS RIGHT WHEN YOU OPEN IT net: YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO EAT THEM ALL ANYWAY spigot: IF I REACH DOWN DEEP ENOUGH I'LL BE BACK IN TIME BEFORE I EVEN OPENED THEM AND I WILL HAVE LOTS !!! spigot: I HOPE I DON'T CUT MYSELF ON THE LID !!! deuce: YOU ARE CLEARLY TRAVELLING FASTER THAN LIGHT !!! spigot: WHAT IS THE NUMBER TO 911

dick: I HEAR DUCKS dick: "QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK" QUACKED THE DUCKS deuce: SO MANY QUACKS

spigot: T PANTS I NEED TO HIDE^H^H^H^H STAY AT YOUR HOUSE pants: T SPIGOT I'M NOT WEARING A SHIRT AND I TEND TO EAT BURRITOS IN MY SLEEP

: For he has convinced thousands of men and women to disregard the shackles of mediocrity spigot: FOR GODS SAKE I NEED MY HEAD IN THE TOILET spigot: WHY CAN'T I KEEP MY POO IN MY BIG FAT BOTTOM WHERE IT BELONGS INSTEAD OF ALL OVER THE SIDEWALK spigot: A PLASTIC BAG OR A PILLOWCASE OR SOMETHING spigot: JUST ANYTHING TO KEEP THE POO FROM LEAKING OUT DURING A JOB INTERVIEW spigot: I REALLY LIKE WORKING WITH PEOPLE spigot: I HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE spigot: NO THAT'S NOT POO

pants: FIRST I CHECK FOR THE ADAM'S APPLE THEN I DO THE DOWNSTAIRS CHECKS AND IF THOSE PASS WE'RE GOOD TO GO pants: LOADING 9 BLACK PLASTIC GARBAGE BAGS INTO THE CAR

pants: KINDLY UNCLAMP deuce: SORRY I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS STILL APPLYING PRESSURE (NUMBNESS IN LIMBS, JOINTS) deuce: I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM

pants: EXPELLED FROM THE INSTITUTE FOR THE GIFTED (MY PARTICULAR MUTANT POWER WAS MAKING EVERYBODY SICK) pants: PPPFFT OH GROSS THIS IS YESTERDAY'S COLD COFFEE PFFFT PFFFFFT NOW I'M GAY FOR SURE pants: I SWEAR TO GOD THE PURPLE MAN TOLD ME TO DO THIS UBLHBLUB HALUHLABUHLAB

spigot: I'D LIKE TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE: I LICK DICK

spigot: COULD YOU PLEASE COME BACK HERE AND HAGGLE OVER MY BALLS FOR HALF AN HOUR deuce: T SPIGOT DON'T FALL FOR IT spigot: T DEUCE YOU PUT THE Q IN Q*BERT

pants: URK URK GOTTA FIND PORN spigot: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON pants: I HAVE TO TAKE A SHIT !!! RIGHT NOW !!! spigot: I WON'T STAND IN YOUR WAY pants: BUT BUT spigot: WHAT WHAT pants: I ALSO MUST BEAT OFF !!! RIGHT NOW !!! spigot: YOU NEED APPROPRIATE PORN pants: I NEED FAMILY CIRCLE, COSMO spigot: WILL GOOD HOUSEKEEPING DO ?? pants: THAT'S PERFECT !!! THANKS LOADS spigot: SIGH spigot: WHAT A NICE YOUNG MAN

pants: A LINE IS FORMING???? pants: GHLAGHLUAGHULAHUGLAG

spigot: THE QUICKTIME LOGO IS LITERALLY A DICK POKING THROUGH A HOLE AT YOU

deuce: TURNS OUT I BEAT OFF

pants: GRAVITY IS FORCING ME TO BE GAY AGAIN

spigot: FOLKS THE REASON THERE ARE SO MANY MORE MEN THAN WOMEN IN COMPUTER SCIENCE IS BECAUSE IT'S NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO RECTIFY THE IMBALANCE. spigot: FOLKS THE REASON THE SKY LOOKS BLUE IS BECAUSE DUST IN THE ATMOSPHERE CHOPS UP LIGHT FROM THE SUN INTO TINY WAVELENGTHS WHICH OUR EYES DETECT AS BLUE. spigot: FOLKS MIKE'S HARD LEMONADE JUST ISN'T DOING IT FOR ME THIS MORNING pants: HAVE YOU CONSIDERED A WINE COOLER OR MAYBE A GLASS OF WATER

spigot: who's excited for the reboot of my dick in their mouth

pants: THE REMARKABLE WORLDS OF PANTS pants: STARRING THE TOILET AREA AND THE BURRITO STAND pants: WE LAST LEFT OUR HERO UNDER THE UNDERPASS pants: FOR WHATEVER REASON pants: NOW WE'RE GOING LIVE TO THE SCENE pants: IT WAS LIKE I TOLD YOU: pants: DICKS TO THE LEFT, DICKS TO THE RIGHT pants: THEN I SAY "HEY ARE YOU GEORGE MICHAEL" pants: AND OF COURSE HE RUNS OUT pants: UNLICKED DICKS BY THE BASKET IS ALL I'M ASKING pants: STANDARD LAUNDRY HAMPER SIZED BASKETS, YES

spigot: RIDDLE ME THIS, BATMAN !!!!!!!! spigot: LICK MY DICK !!!!!!!!! deuce: WAS THAT A RIDDLE spigot: YOU'RE A RIDDLE deuce: DO YOU HAVE A RIDDLE OR NO spigot: LICK MY DICK

pants: MOO ???? IS THAT THE RIGHT ANSWER ??? deuce: I SUPPOSE deuce: WE WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED ANY BLEAT REALLY

pants: suck them all off pants: sorry wrong window pants: totally suck them pants: why won't this thing switch chat rooms pants: oh!!!!!!!!!!! pants: this was the right room all along: pants: suck them

spigot: I WILL SUE FOR THE RIGHT TO LICK YOUR DICK spigot: (PUSHING ROLLED UP CONSTITUTION THROUGH HOLE) deuce: I AM CROSSING OUT ARTICLE VII AND ADDING AMENDMENT XIII spigot: WE THE PLBLRLBLGHBLEBLGLPLE

atandt: ROCKFORD FILES atandt: HOGANS HEROES atandt: BRADY BUNCH pants: SOON IT WILL BE THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT atandt: A STARBUCKS INSIDE JERKCITY ????????????? pants: THEN ALL THE DICKS NEED LITTLE SWEATERS

deuce: MARRIAGE IS EXCLUSIVELY A BOND BETWEEN A MAN AND A CHIPMUNK deuce: PROOFREADING deuce: YEP, THAT'S RIGHT, PRINT IT

pants: THE JEWS ARE AT THE GATES pants: YOU NEVER HEAR THAT PHRASE DO YOU pants: IT'S ALWAYS THE ROMANS OR THE HUNS OR THE CUNTS

pants: THE RULE IS NOW THIS: pants: DON'T LET ME NEAR THINGS pants: I WILL BREAK THEM, EAT THEM, STEAL THEM, FUCK THEM OR PUT THEM UP ME

spigot: BOY HAVE I LEARNED THE RULES OF DICK spigot: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

pants: CAN ANYTHING BE BUTTFUCKED OR DOES THE THING HAVE TO HAVE A BUTT pants: I HAVE QUESTIONS deuce: ANYTHING deuce: YOU CAN BUTTFUCK A ROCK deuce: A SMOOTH, ROUND ROCK (WITHOUT A BUTT) pants: WHAT ABOUT A MAN SUCH AS MYSELF deuce: ANYTHING

pants: DEAR SIR pants: THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING YOUR INFORM 7 TEXT ADVENTURE "THE RULES OF LOVE" TO ROOT@JERKCITY.COM pants: I AM STUCK IN THE TOILET PLEASE SEND INVISICLUES deuce: WHY CAN'T I EVEN EXAMINE THE FUCKING LOTIONS

pants: THE SAINT OF ALL WIENERS pants: NO RESULTS FOUND FOR "THE SAINT OF ALL WIENERS". deuce: GO ON pants: PUT BUTTER ON ME deuce: SMEARING

spigot: SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE??!?? TO SQUIRT MY THIRST???/ spigot: LET'S NOT ALWAYS SEE THE SAME HANDS

pants: WHO WILL SAVE MY SOUL deuce: ME ME ME ME ME pants: HOW WILL YOU ACCOMPLISH THIS TASK deuce: WITH TOOTHPICKS AND A LOT OF GLUE pants: WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE THEN

pants: IS THAT THE SAME TOOTHBRUSH THAT FELL IN THE TOILET pants: IF SO: I WANT IN ON THE DEAL deuce: PLEASE BRING IT UP SLOWLY: IT WILL FALL IN AGAIN pants: I CANNOT SIT HERE WHILE YOU JERK THIS DICK AND THAT DICK: IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE

deuce: FLAP FLAP FLAP deuce: WAIT I ROLLED THE SIX STOP IT deuce: OW THAT'S NOT FAIR OOF I MADE MY SAVING THROW UNNNNGH

pants: BUT THE SCARIEST MONSTER OF ALL IS RACISM deuce: NO IT ISN'T deuce: IT'S GHOST ORCS deuce: (THOUGH ADMITTEDLY THE GHOST ORCS ARE PRETTY RACIST, TOO)

spigot: CAN YOU GET PREGNANT FROM ANAL SEX deuce: WE WILL CONDUCT 1000 SCIENTIFIC TRIALS ALSO WE WILL NEED ANOTHER 1000 FOR THE CONTROL GROUP

deuce: THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE spigot: INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF BONERS deuce: THE SECOND LAW OF SPURTODYNAMICS

pants: I FELL ASLEEP WITH MY DICK IN A HOT POCKET ONLY TO WAKE UP TO A LUKEWARM POCKET deuce: YOU HAVE LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON ABOUT ENTROPY

atandt: HEY GUYS atandt: I'M LICKING deuce: RIKKI TIKKI DUH atandt: I'M SOME KIND OF GAY RODENT deuce: THE SECRET OF NUMB

pants: IT'S THE SEVEN ENDLESS NOT THE NINE ENDLESS YOU HAVE SEVEN PLUS A JERKING PIG AND A SPIDER-MAN AND THEY SHOULD NOT BE THERE

pants: ALSO AVENGE JANE MOON AND FUCK DREWTOOTHPASTE pants: WHAT IS IT WITH THE STRAIGHTS LATELY pants: DON'T THEY HAVE ENOUGH TO DO

pants: I AM IN FACT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED pants: HOW DO I GET OUT OF THE SHED

net: THIS ISN'T BOSNIA PEOPLE pants: BOOM net: ALSO SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT pants: BOOM pants: BOOM (THE SHELLING CONTINUES)

deuce: SHOW ME pants: NEVER deuce: BUT I'M FROM THE SHOW ME STATE pants: WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO

(ozone): HE SAID YOU HAVE SHIT IN YOUR BEARD pants: THE SHOW MUST GO ON ozone: THE SYSTEM IS BEING SHUT DOWN NOW ! ! ! pants: I WISH THE SYSTEM WOULD SHUT DOWN ON MY COCK !!! pants: AND CAPTURE IT... pants: LIKE A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY deuce: AND THEN HOLD IT FOREVER AND EVER pants: AMEN deuce: BEAT OFF INTO MY OPEN HANDS (CUPPED) pants: I AM TRYING BUT YOUR MANIACAL FACIAL EXPRESSION MAKES IT OOF OOF HERE YA GO LITTLE FELLA

spigot: WHO FORGOT TO PAY THE ELECTRIC BILL deuce: HUALGHULAHGLAHGLAG pants: BLAGHABGHULAGBLAHGAGH

pants: JUST THE SMALLEST DAB OF URINE BEHIND MY EAR deuce: TRULY EAU DE TOILETTE

pants: I WAN TOO GO TO JESA pants: I WAN TOO GO WIV CRIEZ pants: I CAN GO WIV JESA EF I AC RELL NIZE

spigot: FOLKS WE NEED TO SELL QUADRAS AND PERFORMAS AT SEARS NEXT TO THE WASHERS/DRYERS

pants: WE ALSO HAVE REMOVED THE SOUND OF CHILDREN SCREAMING AS THE GUNMAN ENTERS THE CLASSROOM. WE CONSIDER THIS TOO GRAPHIC. deuce: WELL HOW AM I GOING TO BEAT OFF THEN

spigot: FSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THE SOUND OF THE BUS RESIGNED TO PICK UP A WHEELCHAIR PERSON

deuce: IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF SPICE I'D BE CARDIMUM deuce: BECAUSE THEN I'D FINALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP deuce: GET IT BECAUSE "MUM" MEANS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP deuce: TURNS OUT I'LL NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

spigot: AND A ONE AND A TWO AND A spigot: WHO CAN TAKE A BONG / HIT spigot: AND HOLD IT IN HIS HEAD spigot: AND EAT A BOX OF COOKIES / SUCK A COCK / AND GO TO BED pants: THE SPIGOT MAN CAN spigot: THE SPIGOT MAN CAN

spigot: NEED SOMEONE TO CONFIGURE MY TCP/IP TO THE PPP TO MY ISP TO THE LAN TO THE WAN TO THE LDAP TO THE INTERNET SO I CAN DO BUILDS deuce: T SPIGOT I LIKE THE SPRITE IN YOU

atandt: TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP atandt: TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP atandt: TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP atandt: TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP atandt: TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP atandt: TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP deuce: T ATANDT BANG atandt: TAP