spigot: A SPECIAL HOLIDAY FART VIDEO FOR MY FANS spigot: NO BUT WE'LL KEEP YOUR RESUME ON FILE

spigot: BEFORE I LICK YOUR DICK I JUST NEED TO GO AHEAD AND READ YOU YOUR RIGHTS deuce: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT deuce: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE YOUR DICK LICKED AND NO MORE RIGHTS spigot: IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD A PENIS ONE WILL BE PROVIDED TO YOU effigy: FREE OF CHARGE

spigot: FROM: THE WALT DISNEY COMPANY spigot: TO: JERKCITY spigot: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SCREENPLAY AND MERCHANDISING SUBMISSION spigot: AT THIS TIME WE ARE UNABLE TO MOVE FORWARD WITH "DONALD DEUCE"

deuce: :NOTES: JERK IT REAL GOOD pants: I WILL NOT deuce: THEN YOUR SERVICES ARE NO LONGER NEEDED (YOUR JERKING SERVICES)

pants: YOU ARE LIKE A WASHING MACHINE IN THAT I WILL OPEN YOUR LID AND RE-ARRANGE YOUR SOGGY TOWELS TO ASSURE A BALANCED LOAD deuce: MY COUNTRY 'TIS OF THEE pants: BUT FIRST... pants: LET'S SEE WHAT'S UNDER THIS KILT OF YOURS, LAD deuce: PAIN AND BLINDNESS

pants: MY SOUL IS BEAUTIFUL deuce: YOUR SOUL IS COVERED IN THE ASH OF PAST CIVILIZATIONS deuce: KIND OF AWESOME BUT I WOULDN'T CALL IT BEAUTIFUL

pants: HOW ABOUT JUST CLIMB A LADDER, PISS IN MY FACE AND THEN COME DOWN FROM THERE BEFORE YOU BREAK YOUR STUPID NECK deuce: THAT'S A BIG CAN-DO deuce: SNAP GLK deuce: GLLLK

deuce: > TOUCH WIENER pants: ***QUEST COMPLETE *** pants: *** YOU HAVE DIED *** pants: *** BANNED *** pants: SHOW ME YOUR TOEBEANS pants: YOUR PISSPOTS pants: YOUR HUDDLED MASSES YEARNING TO DRINK PEPSI hanford: GET OUT OF HERE hanford: GO ON, GET pants: NEVER

deuce: HANDS UP WHO'S A SPICE GIRL spigot: I CAN FEEL MY MOUTH GETTING SORE ALREADY

spigot: YOUR VIDEO WILL BEGIN AFTER THIS ADVERTISEMENT spigot: 1:59 spigot: 1:58 spigot: OH COME ON spigot: 1:57 spigot: 1:56 spigot: JESUS H. CHRIST FUCKING HURRY UP spigot: 1:55

pants: HI EVERYBODY I'M PANTS FROM JERKCITY pants: I'LL BE YOUR WAITER THIS EVENING pants: OUR SPECIALS ARE THE VARIED LUMPS ON MY DICK EACH ONE WEIRDER THAN THE LAST

: "Are you my supper?" asked the first one. The second one considered his answer carefully then said: "Yes, and I come with dipping sauce." spigot: I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN deuce: YOUR WORDS HURT ME spigot: WHICH WOULD BE BETTER FOR DELIVERING MY NUTS TO YOUR FACE - LDAP OR PPP deuce: I'D APPRECIATE A UDP DATAGRAM OF DICK

atandt: DEAR SIR, deuce: SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE atandt: YOUR WORDS HURT ME deuce: UP THE NUTS

pants: PISS-TESTING pants: SIP pants: YUP THAT'S PISS deuce: SOME MAY CALL IT URINE

atandt: WHEN DID YOU GET BACK pants: I GOT TO RIDE ON A HELICARRIER atandt: WE WERE GOING TO GO ON HIATUS deuce: GHULAHULAHLAG pants: LADYBUGS!!!!!!! GET A BROOM

spigot: AHLGHAULGHALG deuce: GHALGHULAHLAHGLAG spigot: /QUIT spigot: /EXIT spigot: /LEAVE spigot: /DONE spigot: /END spigot: /BYE deuce: /SEXUAL spigot: /NO spigot: /STOP spigot: /RETURN

deuce: T PANTS I HAD A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE DREAM!!! pants: T DEUCE DID YOU EAT MY BRAINS deuce: IT WAS MY DREAM SO I WASN'T WASN'T ONE OF THE ZOMBIES YOU IDIOT deuce: BUT YES I ATE YOUR BRAINS JUST TO BE SAFE

deuce: T PANTS HOW MANY HOOKERS WILL BE AT YOUR PARTY deuce: T PANTS BESIDES YOU pants: T DEUCE ZERO NOT INCLUDING ME deuce: > <CHR>

pants: ZERO-FACTOR AUTHENTICATION IS WHERE I SNEAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AND BEAT OFF INTO YOUR PANTIES deuce: SNIFF THEM FIRST pants: THAT WOULD BE GROSS!!!!!!!!!

pants: ZIG-ZAG pants: SLOW BURNING pants: MADE IN FRANCE

pants: A KICKSTARTER TO MAKE THE JERKCITYHD ZINE?????? $$$$$$$$$ pants: AN INDIGOGO TO PUT JERKCITYHIFI ON VINYL???????? ?????!?? $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$4 (pants): WHY IS THE BACKGROUND BLUE

pants: DO YOU STILL FEEL LIKE STORMING THE CAPITOL LATER deuce: SURE pants: YOU BRING ZIP TIES AND I'LL BRING A VEGETABLE PLATE pants: WAIT NO I FEEL LIKE BRINGING A CASSEROLE

spigot: ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING DROPPING THE WHIPPED CREAM CONTAINER AND ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING STUMBLING OVER TO THE COUNTER TO HELP A CUSTOMER

pants: SOME KIND OF ZOMBIE THAT RUNS UP TO YOU, SUCKS YOU OFF AND RUNS INTO THE WOODS (REALLY, REALLY QUICKLY) deuce: DOES HIS SUCKING OFF MAKE YOU A ZOMBIE TOO pants: I DON'T THINK SO... NOPE deuce: GHGLUAUHAGLHAULHLUAG pants: GROSS!!!! !!!!!!!!! OH WELL HANGING OUT BY THE WOODS ANYWAY deuce: GLHAULHUAG

pants: ARE WE ALL HERE spigot: SHOULD WE GET STARTED deuce: AM I ON spigot: HOW'S MY SOU deuce: CAN YOU SEE ME OKAY pants: SHOULD WE WAITA FEW MINS spigot: TEST TEST HOW MY SOU pants: AM I FROZENI THINK YOU'RE FROZEN deuce: MY LAPTOP IS VERY VERY VERY VERYVERY VERY VERY VERYVERY VERY HOT spigot: OWS M SOU pants: VIRUSES ARE FAKEAND MASKS ARE GAY

pants: IS THERE NO NOT-GAY WAY TO WASH THESE ZUCCHINI pants: MAYBE LENGTH-WISE???? NOPE spigot: PUT THEM ON THE LAWN AND USE THE GARDEN HOSE FROM FAR AWAY pants: DISHWASHER pants: SITTING ON THEM UP AND DOWN????? NOPE spigot: STUFFING THEM IN MY MOUTH WHILE WEARING THE AIDS QUILT LEADING A PRIDE PARADE????? NOPE spigot: PUT ON A DRESS AND DO A CAM SHOW FOR 100 TOKENS????? NOPE deuce: ARE YOU EVEN IN POSSESSION OF THE ZUCCHINI ANYMORE pants: WE ATE IT LIKE CORN