spigot: HOW ABOUT A BIG TREE WHERE MILLENNIALS CAN RENT A NOOSE FOR THE NIGHT

deuce: shake yo titties pants: an unknown number of stupid little titties deuce: unspecified but almost certainly not zero and probably not exactly one pants: it's a big wide world of titties out there deuce: beyond that, unknown pants: so many titties

pants: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T GIVE IT UP ON DEMAND YOU DUMB WHORE pants: YOU ARE A GODDAMN VENDING MACHINE WAS RE: OR ELSE pants: I DON'T NEED TO DEHUMANIZE YOU YOU'RE ALREADY A TOOL LIKE THE BOTTLE OPENER OR THE BONG

spigot: NOW STEPHEN HAWKING IS SAYING BLACK HOLES ARE NATURE’S GLORYHOLES AND YOU CAN GET A BJ FROM SOMEONE WAY FAR AWAY spigot: I CAN’T REALLY UNDERSTAND HIS SPEECH THING

deuce: T PANTS WOULD YOU LIKE A BOUQUET OF LOVE pants: T DEUCE I WON'T BE FOOLED AGAIN deuce: OH YES YOU WILL pants: ALL RIGHT BOUQUET ME

pants: T DEUCE I WOULD LIKE AN XMAS PRESENT deuce: T PANTS HOW ABOUT A NEW WANG pants: T DEUCE THIS ONE IS FINE (IT JUST NEEDS SOME PAINT)

spigot: T PANTS WILL YOU DO ME A SIMPLE KINDNESS AND MAKE A LIFELONG VIRGINITY PLEDGE TO JESUS AND BECOME A BRIDE OF CHRIST pants: T SPIGOT BURSTING INTO TEARS

spigot: I NEED TO BE JERKED OVER HERE

spigot: I'M A BRIGHT SHINY ANGEL OF GOD, SENT DOWN FROM HEAVEN TO LICK DICK IN THE TOILET !!!!!! spigot: GLORY BE

deuce: WHAT DO YOU MEAN LEONARD NIMOY IS JEWISH?

deuce: WHY IS "THE PRICE IS RIGHT" THEME SONG GOING THROUGH MY HEAD pants: A DONG deuce: A QUEER deuce: A FEMALE QUEER deuce: GAY deuce: A POCKET FULL OF COCK pants: :NOTES: deuce: BEE deuce: A BUG THAT SCARES MY FRIEND deuce: BAA deuce: THE SOUND THAT A SHEEP MAKES deuce: NOT EVEN TRYING TO RHYME pants: :MUSICAL_NOTE: pants: T DEUCE DICKS deuce: I DON'T BELIEVE THAT FOR A SECOND

pants: HALGUHLAGHULAHULGHALG pants: FUCK YEAH pants: GAHLAGHLAUHGLUAHGULAGAG

spigot: CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLONK BONK URF MACE RAPINGS

pants: MAYBE I SHOULD BARF ON MY OWN COCK FOR A CHANGE

spigot: A CHORUS LINE OF PISSING DICKS spigot: CAN A MAN GET A DOO-DAH deuce: THE DICKS ARE KICKING THEIR LEGS IN SYNCHRONY (WHILE PISSING)

deuce: I'LL TAKE MY SWEET TIME THANK YOU pants: GETTIN' AROUND TO GETTIN' AROUND pants: t deuce my sweater has patches on the elbows deuce: you are a class act deuce: a real dame

pants: i drink piss from a glass deuce: because you're a class act

:and: IT GOES pants: PLEASE DO THE NEEDFUL pants: I SAID PLEASE deuce: SAY PRETTY PLEASE deuce: WITH SUGAR ON TOP deuce: AND A SLICE OF DICK deuce: A SLAB OF DICK pants: I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING pants: (THE THEMES AT PLAY) deuce: A DOLLOP OF DICK deuce: SLICE, SLAB, DOLLOP deuce: IT'S A CLEAR PROGRESSION AND THE RESULT IS [UNINTELLIGIBLE]

:: SO IT GOES pants: PLEASE DO THE NEEDFUL pants: I SAID PLEASE deuce: SAYPRETTY PLEASE deuce: WITH SUGAR ON TOP deuce: AND A SLICEOF AIDS deuce: A SLAB OF AIDS pants: I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING pants: (THE THEMES AT PLAY) deuce: A DOLLOP OF DICK deuce: SLICE, SLAB, DOLLOP deuce: IT'S A CLEAR PROGRESSION AND THE RESULT IS [UNINTELLIGIBLE]

spigot: PORN SLOTH deuce: THE EIGHTH DEADLY SIN bung: SHHH, HERE COMES DAD bung: FAG! bung: HOLD THAT DOG STILL OR ELSE deuce: PHEW THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE HE ALMOST SAW US

pants: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG pants: I'M A COCKSUCKING COMMANDO STORMING THE COUNTRYSIDE spigot: T PANTS I DON'T LIKE THAT GAY TALK pants: I'M SORRY

pants: SOMEWHERE THERE IS A COLD AND LONELY SOCK (PROBABLY IN LANDFILL AT THIS MOMENT)

pants: WE THE PEOPLE pants: IN ORDER TO FORM A MORE PERFECT UNION pants: ESTABLISH JUSTICE AND A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF pants: HI I'M PANTS, PERHAPS YOU'VE SEEN MY WORK HERE IN JERKCITY pants: OR UNDER THE OVERPASS SUCKING COCK LIKE A MAN ON A MISSION FROM GOD pants: WHAT pants: YES, THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT pants: MAYBE YOU COULD JUST DRAW A BIG BONG IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WHOLE THING OR SOMETHING

deuce: I HAVE A CONUNDRUM pants: CALL A DOCTOR QUICK pants: WHAT IS THE CONUNDRUM? deuce: I HAVE TWO BALLS -- I WANT THREE pants: THAT IS NOT A CONUNDRUM

: PANTS EATS A COOKIE : PANTS EATS ANOTHER COOKIE : PANTS GOTO EATS A COOKIE

pants: MY MOUTH pants: SHE'S A BEAUTY pants: AIN'T SHE atandt: A ONE IN A MILLION MOUTH

pants: THE MAGICAL LEGEND OF MY BONER deuce: THIS CHRISTIANITY THING IS A RUSE deuce: HERE I FOLLOWED THE DICK AND ALL I FOUND WAS A CRACKER JACK SURPRISE !!!!!!!! deuce: **** LOSER ****

deuce: TWISTING YOUR ARMS UNTIL THEY MAKE A CRACKING SOUND AND THEN KISSING YOU SOFTLY deuce: THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET IT UP IS IF YOU CALL ME AGNES pants: PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE

pants: IF I'M FAT BOY THEN YOU'RE LITTLE MAN SO SHUT THE FUCK UP LITTLE MAN pants: YOU HEARD ME RIGHT pants: NOW YOU'VE EMBARASSED ME IN FRONT OF THE GANG pants: NOW I'LL NEVER BE A CRIP (OR A BLOOD OR WHATEVER YOU FAGS ARE)

pants: hoping we can have a cross-over cinematic multiverse where ted bundy goes to the fyre documentary and murders all the influencers

pants: A CROWD FORMS AROUND MY BALLS pants: NOBODY SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A CHILD MOLESTING SIM pants: OR DID THEY

pants: HOHLGAH LAUGLUAGH THE SON OF GOD IS A FAG AND LIKES IT UALGHALUH LAHHAL HALGAG ALL HOLY AND ERECT HALGHALG HLHGALH GLAGLAG EVEN A CROWN OF THORNS HERE HLUAHGL UAHHGLAHGLAHGLAHGL AGLHALUGHLAG JESUS IS COMING deuce: GOD ALMIGHTY pants: I HAVE SUCKED HIM OFF TO DEATH pants: HELP ME PUT HIM ON THIS CROSS (WE'LL BLAME THE JEWS) deuce: BLAGHLUBAGLBAG

spigot: T DEUCE DO YOU EVER REFLECT ON HOW WE PASSIVELY PARTICIPATE IN A CULTURE WHICH ALLOWS SEXUAL HARRASSMENT TO CONTINUE deuce: T SPIGOT SHOW US YOUR TITS

effigy: CAN I BORROW A CUP OF SUGAR? effigy: I'M TRYING TO GET A HUMMINGBIRD TO DRINK OUT OF MY PENIS. deuce: BORROW ??? NO deuce: HAVE ??? YES

deuce: I'M AN UNEDUCATED MORON PARENT WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRESCREENED FOR ELIGIBILITY TO FUCKING CARRY ON MY GENES spigot: A DANGEROUS DRUG CALLED MTV

: 1996 spigot: ALL THESE DOLE POSTERS????? PAMPHLETS???? WHAT IS YOUR POSITION ON RECYCLING?????? : 2000 spigot: ALL THESE GORE POSTERS????? PAMPHLETS???? WHAT IS YOUR POSITION ON RECYCLING?????? : 2004 spigot: ALL THESE BUSH POSTERS????? PAMPHLETS???? WHAT IS YOUR POSITION ON RECYCLING??????

deuce: MY TUMMY HURTS deuce: OOPS TOOK A SHIT

pants: HE SMILES EVEN THOUGH I AM PUNCHING HIM, USING HIM AS A JACKOFF FAMILIAR

spigot: YOU SAY DICKLICKING, I SAY RECLAIMING YOUTHFUL VIGOR spigot: CLOSE THE DOOR

pants: YOU HOLD THE SCREWDRIVER AND I'LL PRY THE PILLS OUT OF THE ROOMBA

effigy: ...YOU CAN STILL SHAVE YOUR BOX THOUGH, RIGHT? pants: I HAVEN'T SEEN MY BOX FOR 17 YEARS pants: THERE MIGHT BE A DICK DOWN THERE FOR ALL I KNOW

spigot: a dick in each hand, a cock in my mouth and a big dumb dong stuffed up my rear end spigot: half-life 4 confirmed

spigot: HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK FAT : SPIGOT LEAVES pants: GO GET HIM AND BRING HIM BACK HERE AND MAKE HIM BE FUNNY deuce: MUST pants: PRIVATE I AM GIVING YOU A DIRECT ORDER deuce: JERK

pants: there's a disturbing pattern in my trousers you should totally call scully and investigate deuce: he'll just get distracted with aliens and shit pants: you're thinking mulder, scully is the one who founded apple computers pants: boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys

deuce: LLHLHLHLHLHLHLH I AM THE GREATEST COCKSUCKER EVER TO GRACE THIS GOD'S EARTH pants: A DOLLOP PLEASE (NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS)

spigot: TAKE THE OTHER DAY, THERE I AM IN MY KITCHEN AREA WITH THREE PRICKS IN EACH HAND, A DONG AROUND MY WAIST LIKE A BELT AND THE DOORBELL RINGS spigot: WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT: TEN FAT GAY DICKS AND PRICKS STANDING AT THE DOOR DEMANDING ENTRY!!!!!! AND I'M LIKE: WHERE'S THE FIRE?!?!?!?! spigot: WELL AS YOU CAN IMAGINE THEY GAVE ME A GOOD STOMPING AND SMOOSHING AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT THE RASPBERRY HAPPLE-BAPPLE COBBLER I WAS BAKING BURNED RIGHT UP IN THE CROCKPOT

spigot: IS THERE A DONGLE OR DEVICE THAT CONVERTS PIZZA INTO DIARRHEA

spigot: JUST GOING TO TUCK IN MY LANYARD HERE spigot: CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM spigot: `SPLORT` spigot: CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM spigot: `SPLOP` spigot: CAN WE USE YOUR BATHROOM spigot: `SPLOSH SPLAP SPLAP ` spigot: CAN WE USE YOUR SIDEWALK spigot: `SQUIRP SQUAP SQUOP` spigot: CAN WE USE YOUR MAILBOX spigot: `SPLUT SQUIRSH SQUIRSH ` spigot: CAN WE USE YOUR MIATA spigot: `SPLORT SPLOP SQUIRP SPLOSH SPLAP SPLAP SQUIRP SQUAP SQUOP SPLUT SQUIRSH` spigot: WHY DO ONLY DOGS GET PLASTIC BAGS

spigot: FOLKS THE VIETNAMESE LANGUAGE SOUNDS LIKE A DUCK CHOKING ON A CHICKEN BONE

deuce: "A COW SAYS [TRAIN ENGINE WHISTLE]" pants: "A DOG SAYS [WAR OF THE WORLDS KLAXON]" deuce: BROOOOOOOOOOOONG deuce: A PIG SAYS [SILENT STAR TREK (2009) LENS FLARE] pants: A DUCKS SAYS [QUACK.WAV]

pants: COCK(S) deuce: HOW DARE YOU deuce: YOU TAKE THAT BACK OR I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL (BY COCK STRANGLING) pants: A DUEL IT SHALL BE SIR (TROUSERS AROUND ANKLES) deuce: HBLHBLHBLHBHBLHBHBHBLHBHBLHBBLHBLHBLHBLBBLHBHB pants: GBLAGHBALGLUAHGBLAGHLABLAHGBLAGA

deuce: if you look closely you'll see the biggest problem is that there's a woman in the captain's chair pants: a dystopian sci-fi future

pants: DOES MY BONER NEED ITS OWN SEPARATE PASSPORT OR CAN I JUST WAVE HIM THROUGH

deuce: FOLKS MY BALLS CAN'T GET A FAIR TRIAL IN THIS CITY deuce: ESPECIALLY WHEN THE CRIME THEY ARE ACCUSED OF IS COVERING A CITY AND BLOCKING OUT THE LIGHT (SPECIFICALLY THIS CITY) deuce: I SUGGEST A CHANGE OF VENUE AND PERHAPS A CHANGE OF UNDERWEAR

spigot: CHUBBY HUBBY SEEKS AFTERNOON HOOKER!!!!! spigot: MUST LIKE LIVING WITH MOM AND SLEEPING W/NINTENDO CARTS spigot: THIS TIME I'M A FAT GAY GOTH STANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE INFORMATION APOCALYPSE!!!!! spigot: CAN A ZINE SAVE THE WORLD?!?!?!?!?!? spigot: I WOULD LIKE MORE ALLOWANCE

pants: LICKING DICK IN THE BIZARRO UNIVERSE

deuce: HURGLE GURGLE deuce: HITLER WAS RIGHT deuce: GURGLE BURGLE deuce: (THAT'S THE TOILET TALKING, TOTALLY NOT ME deuce: ) deuce: ) : DEUCE HAS BEEN SENDING MESSAGES TO YOU TOO RAPIDLY, AND IS NOW BEING IGNORED.

spigot: AND DILDOS AND DUCT TAPE

spigot: I LOVE TO DOWNLOAD AND EAT CORN DOGS

spigot: LET'S BOTH SQUEEZE INTO THE TUB

spigot: HUHHHHHHHHH I'M AS FAT AS I AM ON TV deuce: THAT SEEMS LIKE A STRANGE THING TO CALL THE BATHROOM spigot: URMPH SON OF A HONK URF GUH THIS IS A FINE ROMANCE

deuce: I'M A HARDON bung: I'M AN OPEN MOUTH deuce: WE WILL MAKE A FINE TEAM bung: LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER deuce: AND WHORES AND AIDS

deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE WORST PART ABOUT LICKING DICK ?!?!?! deuce: PISSING BLOOD

deuce: MY GROINABLE, CROTCHABLE AREA IS A FROZEN CONFLICT pants: DENY THEM THE RIGHT TO EXIST deuce: MY LEFT BALL IS IRREDENTIST BUT MY RIGHT ONE IS REVANCHIST

spigot: I KNOW YOU'RE NOT THE BIGGEST FAN OF ANAL SEX spigot: BUT HAVE YOU TRIED ANAL SEX IN THE >>>>>>>>>> REAR END <<<<<<<<<< ?????????? spigot: IT COULD BE A FUN NEW TWIST ON THINGS

pants: WATCH ME POO ozone: COCK OF THE FUCK OF THE SHIT OF THE DICK

pants: CAN YOU SEE A FUTURE FOR MY BONER pants: A FUTUREBONER pants: I.E. A BONER IN YOUR FUTURE deuce: IS THIS BONER WE'RE REFERRING TO IN MY FACT MY BONER

pants: DON'T SHOOT I CRIED pants: BUT THEN IT WAS TOO LATE pants: I HAD TO LICK ALL THEIR DICKS deuce: CHALLENGE ME TO A GAME OF NUTS

net: ONCE AGAIN, I MUST REPORT THAT THERE IS A GAY MAN IN MY PANTS deuce: DO I KNOW HIM (OR HER) net: YES DEFINITELY net: PERHAPS YOU COULD GET IN HERE WITH US AND TALK HIM OUT OF HERE deuce: IS IT ME (I'M A LITTLE OUT OF IT RIGHT NOW) : To be continued tomorrow...

net: I SUPPOSE I COULD LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE AND SAY HEY FREE FAG deuce: THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION IS STARTING TO COME INTO FOCUS NOW deuce: IT'S YOUR OWN DICK ISN'T IT net: LET ME CHECK net: YES (YES IT IS)

hanford: WELCOME TO BONEQUEST atandt: ROCK ON hanford: DO NOT PUT YOUR HAND IN THE MOUSEHOLE atandt: BOY HOWDY hanford: IT'S LIKE A GAY DISCO IN THERE atandt: YOU DON'T SAY

deuce: I LIKE MARSHMELLOW BROWNIES AND EASTER PEEPS AND CHEX MIX deuce: ALL OUT OF CHEX MIX???? deuce: RRRRRR RAPING THE AIR

spigot: HELLO pants: TAKING MOMMY'S STRAP IN YOUR FAT, GAY ASSHOLE spigot: WHO'S CALLING PLEASE pants: TAKING MOMMY'S STRAP IN YOUR FAT, GAY ASSHOLE spigot: I'M HANGING UP NOW

pants: PUT YOUR JUNK IN THE DRAWER AND I'LL SLAM IT pants: MY BONER HAS ACCESS TO A CLOAKING DEVICE pants: DOESN'T HELP

spigot: I HATE IT WHEN THEY DON'T TAKE IT OUT RIGHT AWAY spigot: IT'S LIKE ENOUGH ALREADY spigot: BUT HE'S ALL "ACTUALLY I NEED TO FINISH" spigot: SO I JUST BEND THERE AND TAKE IT spigot: "HMM, I'LL BE DONE IN A MINUTE" spigot: WHILE I HAVE THAT DOPEY BORED LOOK ON MY FACE spigot: I'LL HAVE A CROISSANDWICH AND A GLASS OF RAPE

pants: WHO'S A GOOD BOY deuce: I AM I AM pants: YOU'RE A GOOD BOY deuce: SPLATTER ME WITH BLOOD AND PISS pants: YES YOU ARE

pants: t deuce do you think this would be a good firearm for a first-time owner pants: HLAGHULAHGLUAG deuce: it is classified as a destructive device so you cannot own it legally

pants: WHY DO I HAVE TO WEAR A TIE TO THE TOILETS deuce: BECAUSE YOU WANT TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION, DON'T YOU

spigot: ACCORDING TO THE 1997 MOTORCYCLE SUPPLEMENT FROM THE DMV, WHEN YOUR REAR TIRE GOES FLAT THE BICYCLE SWINGS "JERKILY" FROM SIDE TO SIDE, WELL WE ALL HAD A GOOD LAUGH AND I FAILED

spigot: I LIKE TO PRACTICE BEING GAY IN FRONT OF A MIRROR spigot: NOTE: A GOOD MAGICIAN NEVER CHOKES DOWN THE SAME DICK TWICE spigot: THAT'S THE LAST TIME I BUY COMEDY FROM WAL-MART

pants: GIVE ME A GOOD OLD FASHIONED BLACKOUT

dick: WHEN FACE RAPING SOMEONE THERE'S SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR GETTING A GOOD RUNNING START deuce: ALSO LUBRICATION (USU. TEARS)

spigot: DEUCE AND I ARE TRYING TO TALK PRIVATELY spigot: T DEUCE THEN I'D GRAB YOUR NUTS AND GIVE THEM A GOOD SQUEEZE UNTIL YOU THREW UP ALL OVER YOURSELF

pants: HEY JEW deuce: WHAT UP MUSLIM pants: EATIN' PORK deuce: WEIRD SAME

spigot: THIS IS A GREAT DAY FOR PICTURES OF MY PENIS

spigot: I ACTUALLY THOUGHT OF A GREAT IDEA FOR A WEB GAME spigot: OKAY, IT TAKES A BRIEF EXPLANATION BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS spigot: UP YOURS FAGGOT deuce: STRANGELY ENOUGH I KNEW THAT WAS COMING

deuce: CAN I CHOP MY OWN DICK OFF OR DO I NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT pants: THAT'S A GREAT, GREAT QUESTION pants: I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER pants: BUT I CAN FIND SOMEBODY WHO DOES pants: AND THEN I'LL GET BACK TO YOU deuce: WELL THEN LET'S GET ON A GOOGLE MEET AND CRY IT OUT pants: CONNECTING... pants: GOOGLE MEET HAS BEEN DEPRECATED deuce: [DICK PIC]

(deuce): WORKING ON A GROOVE CALLED LOVE (spigot): T DEUCE I'M WORKING ON MY FIFTH DANISH AND A CORN DOG spigot: EXCUSE ME BUT I'M ENTITLED TO RICH MILK CHOCOLATE *AND* FLUFFY NOUGAT deuce: WHEN YOU USE THE WORD NOUGAT YOU MAKE ME ALL GIDDY

spigot: FOLKS A HAM RADIO OPERATOR IN SAN ANSELMO JUST ADMITTED TO FEELING .. spigot: .. AND I QUOTE .. spigot: "A LITTLE CHATTY" spigot: ALSO 2HR 35 MIN REMAINING ON MY PORN TORRENT

pants: JOHN ASHCROFT NEEDS A HANDJOB pants: AND I KNOW JUST THE MAN FOR THE JOB pants: I'M GOING TO WORK YOUR GODDAMN DICK MISTER MAN pants: YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST pants: AS I DO MY THING YOU'RE GOING TO STUTTER AND BLINK pants: BUH HUB BUH FABULOUS I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE BUH pants: MAYBE ONCE OR TWICE AT CAMP HUHHHHH MMM pants: AND THE YMCA HUFF HUFF HUFF pants: LATER HE WILL BE CURIOUS ABOUT THE USE OF THE MOUTH pants: I WILL SHOW HIM THE WAYS OF THE WORLD pants: CAN I GET PAID NOW hanford: GET OFF MY STAGE IF YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING

pants: I SUGGEST A HARD RESET (RE: HITTING ME HARD IN THE FACE)

pants: do women have dicks or is that just dudes deuce: mostly pants: is it a hard rule or are we talking notable exceptions deuce: unclear

ozone: (EV1): UNIT 0, REVISION 3. deuce: COCKS ??? ozone: DICKS !!! deuce: WE'RE IN AGREEMENT THEN

pants: IT'S A HEAVY GRIFT pants: HOW TO GET HOLD OF THAT DICK pants: THIS WILL REQUIRE A CLEVER PLAN

spigot: HINT: I'M SUCKING YOU RIGHT NOW (LOOK DOWN) spigot: SURPRISE spigot: AND JUST LIKE THAT HE WAS GONE

pants: I AM A HEN pants: BUK BUK deuce: T PANTS THAT'S A DUCK pants: BUK

pants: SCARED pants: OH WHAT THE HELL pants: HAW HAWHAWH AWIH LAFIALFDH AILFSH DICKS

deuce: A HOLLOW VOICE SAYS "COCKS" pants: FOLLOWED BY A SERIES OF OTHER LOW HOLLOW VOICES: "SURE" "YUP" "I'LL TAKE TWO" "MMMMM"

deuce: Jesus Christ why did I get up before 7 pants: it's cold and stupid out deuce: a horrible hellscape