dick: WHEN FACE RAPING SOMEONE THERE'S SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR GETTING A GOOD RUNNING START deuce: ALSO LUBRICATION (USU. TEARS)

spigot: SOUNDS LIKE THE NOTE PAD AND THE CALCULATOR ARE FIGHTING AGAIN!!!!!! spigot: I'M MORE USEFUL!!!!! spigot: NO I'M MORE USEFUL!!!! spigot: THEN FIND FILE POPS UP WITH "HEY KEEP IT DOWN OR I'LL CALL THE D.A." (GET IT BECAUSE THEY ARE DESK ACCESSORIES) spigot: AND PUZZLE'S ALL "FUCK YOU FIND FILE!!!!!!!" spigot: AND FIND FILE IS ALL: MY NAME IS *****SHERLOCK***** spigot: THEN A CURTAIN DROPS DOWN THAT LOOKS LIKE MACSBUG deuce: DUDE THAT IS FREAKING ME OUT MAN

spigot: UM, I DO NOT REMEMBER EATING THE LAST BITE OF PIZZA SO IT IS AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: I AM NOT SITTING ON IT!!!!!!!!! IT DID NOT WALK AWAY!!!!!!!! spigot: WHOOPS!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS THIS MORNING'S EMPTY BOX spigot: NOT THIS EVENING'S DOUBLE-BOX WITH BREADSTICKS POUCH / DIPPING SAUCES deuce: IT IS SCHRODINGER'S PIZZA AND IS NEITHER IN YOUR APARTMENT NOR OUT OF IT AND YET BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

deuce: ALSO LET'S LICK DICK IN UNISON pants: WE CAN DO IT IN TIME TO THIS MUSIC pants: OOOMPA OOOMPA pants: I AM LEARNING A LESSON IN POLITENESS, DICKLICKING pants: ALSO PIES CURIOUSLY ENOUGH

deuce: I THINK "HALLELUJAH" IS JUST A WORD CHRISTIANS MADE UP SO THEY COULD HAVE A CODE WORD dick: FOR? dick: "THANK GOD WE'RE NOT JEWS ANYMORE"? deuce: WHAT DO I FUCKING LOOK LIKE A CHRISTIAN TO YOU

deuce: IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF FLOWER I'D BE A BIG FAT ANGRY COCK spigot: AND I WOULD BE THE HUGLURHLUGHRLUH BIRD

spigot: HERE I HAVE AN ORDINARY DECK OF CARDS spigot: WAIT spigot: HERE I HAVE A TOTALLY ORDI spigot: HANG ON spigot: OKAY FUCK THAT ONE spigot: HERE I HAVE A BUNCH OF UNLINKED RINGS spigot: NO THESE ARE UNLICKED DICKS spigot: SHOUTCAST!!!!!!!!!

spigot: WHY CAN'T I BACKSPACE OR ^R? deuce: BECAUSE OF THE LOVE WE FEEL FOR EACH OTHER deuce: ALSO BECAUSE I AM HOLDING YOUR HEAD UNDERWATER spigot: BLHGLHB spigot: SPLUTTERY SOAP SUDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: GLUBGLUBHGLUB deuce: GET BEHIND YOUR EARS

spigot: THESE PATIENTS DON'T NEED A FRIEND!!!!!!! THEY NEED A DOCTOR!!!!!!!! spigot: CLAMPING THE CLOWN NOSE ON MY DONG AND LOOKING FOR ANYONE ELDERLY/COMATOSE deuce: GOD BLESS THIS GREAT COUNTRY OF OURS

spigot: PERSONALLY I THINK THE NBA NEEDS MICHAEL LANDON NOW MORE THAN EVER spigot: ALL RIGHT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SPORTS

spigot: WHEN YOUR MOUTH / CHOKES ON DICK / LIKE A BIG FUCKING PRICK spigot: THAT'S AMORE spigot: WHEN YOUR DONG'S / GETTING LONG / AND IT'S STUCK IN THE BONG spigot: THAT'S AMORE spigot: SERIOUSLY I'M OUT OF TOILET PAPER

deuce: I HAVE BEEN PUNCHED IN THE HEAD AND ASS FOR THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES STRAIGHT deuce: (BRUISING, SWELLING, ASKING FOR ICE) spigot: THAT IS TANTAMOUNT TO EXERCISE!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: I KNOW AND FOR THAT I AM ASHAMED pants: WE HAVE ALL FAILED ONE WAY OR ANOTHER pants: MAYBE WE SHOULD PULL OUR PANTS DOWN deuce: I DON'T SEE HOW THAT WILL SOLVE ANY OF OUR deuce: OH

spigot: WHAT DO WE WANT? spigot: COCKS spigot: WHEN DO WE WANT EM? spigot: NOW spigot: WHAT DO WE WANT? spigot: *HOMPH* spigot: WHEN DO WE WANT EM? spigot: *MURF*

pants: 10 ADAM 12 WE HAVE A DICKLICKING IN PROGRESS atandt: CUMSHOTS FIRED atandt: CLEAR PARCEL 12 pants: 338 UNITS 1, 2, 3, 4 AND 5 RESPONDING pants: UNITS 6, 7 EN ROUTE atandt: MAN DOWN MAN DOWN pants: UNIT 8 WILL SUPERVISE

deuce: DOES THIS DRESS AND DO THESE SHOES MAKE ME LOOK FAT? pants: I THINK IT'S THE FATNESS THAT REALLY DOES IT pants: ALSO THE UGLY spigot: TRY PUTTING THE SHOES UP YOUR ASS AND THE DRESS OVER YOUR HEAD

spigot: FUCK, I JUST HAD THIS FREAK ACCIDENT WHERE I SAT DOWN TO WORK AND I SPILLED DOPE INTO THE BONG AND THE LIGHTER FLICKED OUT AND SET IT ON FIRE AND THE WHEELS OF MY CHAIR SLIPPED BACK AND I INHALED THE DOPE SMOKE AND ATE A MUFFIN pants: WE SHOULD OPERATE IMMEDIATELY

spigot: I'VE GOT TWO BIG BONERS AND A MICROPHONE

spigot: LOOK AT YOU !!!! YOUR FACE IS A TOTAL DISGRACE... spigot: ...TO MY BALLS !!!! WELL UP PERISCOPE I GUESS spigot: TIME TO FLIP OVER TO THE TV !!!! LET'S SEE WHAT'S ON !!!! spigot: MUST SEE TV spigot: GAYS ON SKATES spigot: FAT GUY TALKING spigot: BABYLON 5 spigot: TWO FAT GUYS TALKING spigot: GAYS ON ICE deuce: YOU'VE BEEN SMOKING DOPE AGAIN spigot: GOLDEN GIRLS

spigot: Q: IS THAT YOU IN THERE WITH THE RADIOS?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK spigot: A: CHONG BONG DONG FONG pants: I'M PG-13 spigot: HOW ARE YOU FIXED FOR PRICKS pants: OKAY R THEN TUMBLING DOWN THE HILL TO NC-17 / X pants: I WAS HOPING FOR DISNEY MONEY spigot: A HUMPTY DUMPTY FILM

pants: IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET

deuce: DICKS ??? MORE DICKS ??? PERHAPS BIGGER DICKS STILL ???? pants: WELCOME TO THESE UNITED HOUSES OF PANCAKES

pants: THE DON'T USE BAD WORDS PUPPET HOUR OF DICK deuce: YOU'RE A STRANGE FAGGOT AREN'T YOU deuce: YOU'RE A CRACK BABY pants: PLUS I EAT THINGS I FIND ON THE GROUND pants: HOOK ME UP TO MY TUBE PLEASE

deuce: FUCKING FAGGOT (LET'S HAVE GAY SEX)

spigot: BRISCOE: WHAT IF WE GIVE UP THE MURDER WEAPON? deuce: UH OH spigot: MCCOY: HAGGLE GAGGLE I'M THE D.A. : EXECUTIVE PRODUCER DICK WOLF spigot: YOU CAN ONLY DO THAT WHILE SMOKING DOPE deuce: THAT'S BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY TIME YOU'RE FUNNY

pants: I COULD SEE JERKING TO CLAIRE pants: BUT ONLY IN A RESPECTFUL WAY pants: I.E. A STOIC CLOSED MOUTH JERK deuce: NO CLAIRE HERE (SNIFF) pants: AS OPPOSED TO A LOGAN JERK pants: WHICH IS NOISY, WIDE deuce: VERY SERIOUS, DIGNIFIED pants: RIGHT pants: I, SIR, AM JERKING

spigot: ALSO THEY ARE MY "BREASTS" NOT MELONS OR JUGS

pants: HLUAGHALGHALGHLAUAGH pants: WAS RE: DICKS deuce: DICKS

atandt: [B atandt: [B atandt: [A atandt: [A [B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B atandt: [B[B[B[B[B[B{B[B[B[B[B[B[B[A[D[C[B[B atandt: [B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B spigot: [C[O[C[K[S spigot: WHAT KIND OF KEYBOARD DO I HAVE ANYWAY deuce: [E[I[E[J[O

spigot: HERE TO BE GAY / THE AMERICAN WAY spigot: (SUNG IN SMITHS-LIKE VOICE) pants: A RICH MAN VOICE pants: I WISH TO INSPECT YOUR APPARATUS spigot: (SHOUTS DOWN HALL) HE WANTS TO INSPECT THE APPARATUS pants: TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP

spigot: CONCERNED ABOUT ALL THESE HACKERS !!?!!?!! IS MY CREDIT SAFE ??? WHO'S PEEKING AT MY PRIVACY ?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!???! OH GOD I CAN'T BREATHE SIR YOU ARE CHOKING ME

atandt: I HAD AIDS BEFORE IT WAS COOL

deuce: I CANNOT BELIEVE THE INSOLENCE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: THE GENERAL ASKED YOU A DIRECT QUESTION !!!!!!!!!!! deuce: ALL YOU DO IS MAKE JOKES AND THREATEN RAPE pants: URF UUF I THINK WE ARE BEYOND THE THREAT HUG STAGE HUG HUG HUG HUG deuce: HUUHYHHHY

deuce: YOU KNOW UNIX MASTERED FILE LOCKING IN THE LATE 1960'S deuce: WHY CAN'T MICROSOFT MANAGE TO DO IT atandt: P-NODES OR I-NODES ALL CONFUSED deuce: OO-NODES atandt: DYNAMIC DICKSUCKING AND VIRTUAL COCKSUCKING deuce: T ATANDT YOU WILL LEAVE NOW atandt: T DEUCE WHAT ABOUT OUR START-UP deuce: T ATANDT WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE atandt: T DEUCE THE PROMISE OF FUTURE DICK SUCKING

spigot: OKAY I'M INTERCEPTING YOUR PACKETS AND DECODING YOUR SECRET GAYNESS SO GIVE ME MONEY spigot: I SEE YOU SCANNING GAY GROUPS AND GIVING OUT YOUR WORK NUMBER ON CHANNEL #FAGGOT deuce: SHIT

pants: ONE TIME I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS pants: THEN THIS MEXICAN RAPES ME IN THE MOUTH AND OTHERWISE pants: I'M LIKE pants: HEY pants: QUIT IT pants: BUT RAPE ME HE DID pants: MAN ALIVE I LEARNED A LESSON THAT DAY .(pants): MY KNEEPADS ARE WEARING OUT

spigot: MY WHOLE LIFE IS LIKE THE TRUMAN SHOW ONLY MY RATINGS NEED A SERIOUS BOOST DUE TO THE LACK OF CAMERAS OR PEOPLE GIVING A SHIT

pants: HULAGHLUA ALHUG HAL HA GLHAULG HALG pants: (BRIEF BURSTS OF DICKLICKING) .(pants): I AM NOT GETTING PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS PART pants: HAGHAULGHHALULALAHGALGHALGUAGHLUGAAH pants: HALHGLAUHGLUAGHLAGHLAHGLAGH (MORE) pants: UABUAAUBAUUBAUBAUBA <--- WHAT DICKLICKING SOUNDS LIKE IN THE U.S.S.R pants: COCKSUCKING AND LACE pants: OKAY TURN THE CAMERA OFF pants: ALGUAHGLAHLGALUGHLAHGLUAG (SUB-SONIC COCKSUCKING CHANNEL)

deuce: FELONY STALKING pants: WHERE deuce: OVER THERE (POINTING) pants: WHERE pants: RUNNING TOWARDS THE HORIZON deuce: SUCKER

pants: OW THIS IS NOT A FLIPBOOK THIS IS AN ACTUAL BONER deuce: NOT EVEN A VIEWMASTER ?!!?! pants: I WILL CHECK CLOSER pants: OW OW NO IT IS STILL A BONER

pants: OW deuce: AWW YEAH pants: PRICK TAKES FACE deuce: HUMPING ME pants: HUMPING YOU deuce: CHECK MATE

spigot: SUBJECT: FOLKS I HAVE AIDS!!!!!!! spigot: I KNOW THAT WILL BE A SURPRISE BUT I WANTED TO GIVE YOU THE HEADS-UP AND SOLICIT SYMPATHY/DONATIONS spigot: SUBJECT: FOLKS THE POLICE ARE TELLING ME I CAN AVOID JAIL IF ANYONE CAN RETURN THE MARKERS I WAS USING TO FAKE AIDS SPOTS

spigot: FOLKS I WOKE UP ON THE FLOOR OF THE STALL WITH NO SHOES spigot: IS THAT GULF WAR SYNDROME deuce: T SPIGOT YOU SNORTED TOO MUCH DEPLETED URANIUM spigot: ARE YOU BOB HOPE CHEERING ME UP WITH NEWS FROM HOME AND A WHORE deuce: T SPIGOT NO I AM TRYING TO TRICK YOU/DICK YOU spigot: YOU'RE PRETTY SLICK YOU spigot: FOLKS, NO MORE FUCKING VANILLA NUT BLEND

spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO RULE IN FAVOR OF THIS DOG SHIT!!!! spigot: SQUIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLHGLHRLGHLRHG deuce: PUT IT IN YOU spigot: GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pants: I WILL CIRCLE THE EARTH AND LAND WHERE I AM ORDERED TO pants: HULAHGLAHGLUUAHLHALGHLAG pants: SEE ENDING WITH A G IS A MORE CONTROLLED COCKSUCKING SESSION pants: IT IS A SCIENCE MEN

deuce: I WISH I WERE TOILET TRAINED deuce: NOTE THE USE OF THE SUBJUNCTIVE INDICATING A CONDITION CONTRARY TO FACT

deuce: HURRAY deuce: IF THEY DIDN'T GIVE US SO MUCH LIP IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN atandt: DUMB IN THE TITS deuce: THAT'S MY CATCHPHRASE atandt: T DEUCE HERE'S A QUARTER deuce: ROYALTIES

spigot: WHERE'S THAT PIZZA spigot: BLRHLBUHRLUBHRLUBHLGHRLHGHRLBHLUGHBLULH PLUH BLUHH I AM SO SORRY spigot: HLLLLLLLLLLGBHLHRLUHLBRHLGUHLLUH HUH HUH I JUST CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING DOWN pants: MY SHOES spigot: BLGUBHGLUBHRLUBHRTLUBHRLGURHLBURHGLUBRHGLUB MY FAULT

spigot: CONCERNED ABOUT MY BLISTER................. AND TOM HANKS' BLISTER?!?!?!?!?!!? deuce: T SPIGOT YOURS WILL NOT MAKE IT TO THE NEWSREELS spigot: DEVELOPMENT DEALS?!?!?!? spigot: BOSOM BLISTERS?!?!?!? LET'S GO AROUND pants: FORK YOU !!!!!!!!!!

pants: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I'M YOUR PUPPET deuce: UHHHHHHH PUTTING MY ARM UP YOU pants: HUHHHHHHHHHHH HAVING AN ARM PUT UP ME

spigot: BURNING, BEHEADING pants: I NEED TO BE PUMPED SO FULL OF SPURT THAT I CANNOT SEE STRAIGHT pants: WRITE BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: SIR THIS IS AN ENGINEERING/BAB5 NEWSGROUP

pants: FAN FICTION //////////////// FAN ART?????????????????????????///////////// spigot: IF ONLY WE COULD COMBINE FILKING WITH DICKLICKING deuce: GAYS deuce: FILKLICKING pants: NO DICKFILKING spigot: FOLKS YOU'RE BOTH RIGHT

pants: YOU PROMISED UBERDONGS pants: I ONLY SEE THIS DIRTY BUCKET OF DONGS HERE pants: WHAT HAVE WE WROUGHT

net: LETS TALK ABOUT AMIGA GFX MY NICKNAME WILL BE WOLFWINGS SHADOWFLIGHT

deuce: WELL DOING THE LITERATURE STUFF WAS A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS spigot: IT IS WRONG TO DESTROY LITERATURE spigot: IT'S SO MUCH ****FUN**** TO ****READ**** spigot: I AM JUDD NELSON BEING SARCASTIC spigot: FOLKS I'VE BEEN KICKED OFF THE RAPE SURVIVOR'S E-GROUP spigot: I REALLY FEEL LIKE I HAVE BEEN VIOLATED TWICE NOW

: INIT: SINGLE USER MODE ozone: HI AND WELCOME TO DICKLICKERS ANONYMOUS ozone: MY NAME IS DAVE ozone: (HI DAVE) ozone: AND I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DICKLICKING deuce: WHAT KIND OF PROBLEM COULD EVER BE INVOLVED WITH DICKLICKING ?!?!?

atandt: LET'S ALL SWITCH ROLES FOR THE NEXT 30 SECONDS deuce: GAHGLAHGLAGHALGHALGHLA I'M ATANDT GAHLGHLGHLGHLGH LOOK AT BONEQUEST GLAGHLAGHLAGHLAGH WILL YOU LIKE ME MORE NOW THAT I PUT IT UP atandt: THAT WAS LESS FUN THAN PLANNED

spigot: I WILL SUE FOR THE RIGHT TO LICK YOUR DICK spigot: (PUSHING ROLLED UP CONSTITUTION THROUGH HOLE) deuce: I AM CROSSING OUT ARTICLE VII AND ADDING AMENDMENT XIII spigot: WE THE PLBLRLBLGHBLEBLGLPLE

: # LS : LS-not found pants: YEAH I SHOULD HAVE ROOT

deuce: SHARON STONE'S HEARTWARMING PERFORMANCE IN "WHORE" deuce: WHERE SHE RESCUES A KID AND PIMPS HIM spigot: I'M PROPPED UP LIKE A SOLDIER AND STOPPED UP LIKE A TOILET

pants: GAKKKK pants: YOUR HANDS ARE TIGHT AROUND MY FAT NECK deuce: CHOKING AND TEACHING ALL AT THE SAME TIME pants: GAKKKK MOSTLY CHOKING pants: IT IS MOSTLY ALL CHOKING deuce: SO BE IT

spigot: WELL COCKMOUTH.GIF WAS EXACTLY AS ADVERTISED deuce: T SPIGOT TRUTH IN ADVERTISING IS A WONDERFUL THING spigot: MARKING FIXED & CLOSED

atandt: MARRY ME deuce: NO atandt: CANCEL deuce: YOU'RE NOT JEWISH atandt: DOES BEING CIRCUMSIZED COUNT deuce: IF THAT WAS TRUE, WE'D ALL BE JEWS

net: I WOULD LIKE FOR MY TOILET TO BE DEEPER net: I.E. FOR THE POOP WOULD FALL FARTHER net: THE FALL SHOULD BE LONG ENOUGH THAT THE POOP IS SCARED deuce: SCARED OR SCARRED (LISTENING INTENTLY) net: SCARED AS IN FRIGHTENED FOR ITS PHYSICAL SAFETY deuce: EXCELLENT net: IF THERE WAS SOME WAY IT WOULD SCREAM ON THE WAY DOWN THAT WOULD BE BEST deuce: IT IS THE ONLY WAY THE POO WILL LEARN

spigot: LOOSE LIPS LICK DICKS

atandt: SOMEONE IS CRUSHING MY BALLS pants: IT COULD BE MY FATNESS deuce: YOUR WIFE (YOU DID NOT GET ENOUGH PEANUT BUTTER) atandt: IS IT 'DEUCE' OR MAYBE 'PANTS' pants: LET'S NOT OVERLOOK MY FATNESS HERE atandt: HOW ABOUT 'SPIGOT'? atandt: T PANTS YOU JUST TOTALLY BLEW MY TIMING pants: DEFINITELY FATNESS

pants: PLEASE WRITE TO ME SLOWLY AS I AM IN THE SOVIET UNION pants: WE ONLY HAVE 2400 BAUD deuce: FUCK YOU RED pants: I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO VIEW YOUR 21MB AVI ATTACHMENT, I HAD TO ABORT THE DOWNLOAD pants: REPEAT: ABORT THE DOWNLOAD

dick: I AM WOMAN / SEE ME GROW

spigot: THE KUDDLE WUDDLE KITTY KLUB WEB RING spigot: NEXT FIVE SITES?!?!?!!? YES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: HI I LIKED YOUR SITE VERY MUCH!!!! I HAVE A CAT WHO I CUDDLE EVERY DAY!!!!!! WRITE BACK!!! spigot: HI I WROTE YOU A FEW DAYS AGO !!! WRITING IN CASE IT DISAPPEARED INTO THE NET spigot: HI IS THIS RING STILL ACTIVE?!?!?!? spigot: *SMASH* I HAVE THROWN A POTTED PLANT FROM YOUR FRONT YARD THROUGH YOUR WINDOW!!!! spigot: SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR DINNER BUT I WOULD LIKE TO CUDDLE YOUR CAT!!!!!! spigot: SURPRISE!!!! I AM CUDDLING YOUR TODDLER'S BALLS

spigot: I AM COUNTING ON AN X WITH OUR PISS THIS SATURDAY !!!!!!!!!! BRING PROTRACTOR deuce: IF WE CROSS BEAMS WE WILL DIE spigot: THEN I GUESS WE SHOULD BOTH USE THE FORCE???? READING FAQ

pants: SPIGOT LICKS DICK spigot: I BEG YOUR PUHHLGLHGLHGLHG

pants: JIMMY POOP IS HERE TO MEET JIMMY SHITHEAD deuce: POOP AND SHITHEAD WILL GET ON LIKE A HOUSE ON FIRE pants: THEY'RE BRINGING BOTH THEIR SONS pants: FUCKFACE AND LITTLE JIMMY SHITHEAD deuce: SO FUCKFACE'S LAST NAME IS POOP? pants: RIGHT pants: LET'S BOTH SELECT NOTEPAD FROM THE APPLE MENU pants: I SAY WE GET THE BALL ROLLING, THE PARTY STARTED deuce: ROCK ON !!!!!!!!!!!

deuce: HOUSTON WE'VE HAD A PROBLEM pants: YOU HAVE TO SAY OVER !!! deuce: T PANTS NO THEY HAVE A BLEEPY THING FOR THAT (OVER) pants: BEEP BOOP BOOP HOW DO I GET LINUX TO RECOGNIZE ATA DRIVES spigot: MY CD PLAYER IS SQUEAKING AND SQUAWKING LIKE MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND

spigot: MY BONER LIES OVER THE OCEAN spigot: MY BONER LIES OVER THE SEA spigot: CALL THE ENCLAVE

deuce: WELL NOW THAT I HAVE SOME TIME TO MYSELF I THINK IT'S TIME TO THINK ABOUT REDECORATING deuce: I MEAN I COULD PUT UP SOME PINK FLANNEL UP ON THAT WALL deuce: AND SOME PINK TRIANGLE POSTERS OVER THERE deuce: AND A FEW TUBS OF K-Y JELLY AND A BIG BLACK DILDO ON THAT COUNTER deuce: AND EVERYTHING WOULD LOOK SPIFFY deuce: I'LL BE THE ENVY OF ALL THOSE MEANIES AT THE KNITTING CLUB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: OH deuce: WAS THAT OUT LOUD

pants: PAC MAN spigot: DANA NANA NANA NANA NA - PAC MAN spigot: WAIT spigot: BATMAN I MEAN pants: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT deuce: LOOK I LEAVE FOR FIVE SECONDS AND LOOK WHAT YOU TWO HAVE DONE

net: HEY HOW ABOUT A LITTLE CHATTER FOLKS deuce: HI net: HOW ARE YOU deuce: I'M GAY, WORKING ON GAYER net: I HAVE ALREADY ACHIEVED GAYER AND I'M WORKING ON GOING BACK deuce: THAT IS A CRIME AGAINST GOD AND MAN net: IT'S JUST FOR PRACTICE

spigot: SETENV HORNY YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: WHERE IS THE FUCKING PORN ROOM deuce: OH HI pants: I HAVE CAT PICTURES deuce: CAN THEY BE TRANSFERRED THROUGH THE BBS OR DO I HAVE TO LOG OUT FOR THAT

net: SWITCHING TO RUNLEVEL Q pants: WATCHING YOU SWITCH deuce: WATCHING YOU WATCHING HIM SWITCH pants: HOPING IT INVOLVES A HLAGULA AND SOME BHULAGHLAHGLG pants: WE ARE ALL WATCHING THE DONGS deuce: (FOR SIGNS OF LIFE) pants: AND PRAYING deuce: DOMINE SUCKUS

pants: I AM MAKING YOU A POOL (SQUATTING, THRUSTING) pants: COULD ONE OF YOU PLEASE GIVE ME A BOOST SO I CAN BETTER STALK FIONA APPLE atandt: T PANTS YOU CAN'T SQUAT AND THRUST AT THE SAME TIME pants: T ATANDT ACROSS THE UNIVERSE

spigot: FOLKS CAN WE GET SOME EXPERT ANALYSIS OF THE ONGOING KOSOVO CRISIS?!?!?!?! spigot: LET'S ALL SOUND OFF WITH OUR TWO CENTS!!!!!!!!!!! pants: I TAKE IT UP THE ASS spigot: IS THIS RING STILL ACTIVE

spigot: HERE COMES SEATTLE'S FATTEST FAGGOT deuce: HURRAY spigot: DOWN IN FRONT deuce: AT YOUR SERVICE spigot: I SPILLED PISS ON MY NEW CARPET spigot: A LITTLE JIZZ WILL TAKE THAT RIGHT OUT

pants: CAN WE LICK IT, CAN WE PRICK IT deuce: WE CAN DO BOTH pants: HOW ?!?!? deuce: DETAILS FOLLOW deuce: HULBGHULGDBHULBGDBGHULDBGDHULBAGDHLBGDHLUGB deuce: THAT IS A LINCOS-LIKE MESSAGE TRANSMITTED TO ALL THE NEARBY SUNLIKE STARS deuce: THEY WILL REALIZE THAT EARTH IS POPULATED BY FUCKING HOMOS AND STAY CLEAR pants: WHAT IF THEY HAVE CRAZY ALIEN E.T. STYLE DICKS FOR US TO LICK ?!?!? pants: THEY MIGHT SAY HEY APE-LIKE COCKSUCKING BEASTS LET'S LAND THERE deuce: THEY ARE ALMOST CERTAINLY MILLIONS OF YEARS AHEAD OF US IN TECHNOLOGY AND STRAIGHT

spigot: I CANNOT DONG AND CHONG ALONE HERE pants: I WILL BONG AND FONG WITH YOU spigot: I CONSIDER THAT A VICTORY pants: IT IS TRULY A DESIGN WIN

spigot: TELL THEM ABOUT THE GOOD BOOK deuce: GLUG spigot: HI QUEERS, I'M JUST OUT SPREADING THE WORD OF GOD spigot: FOR EVERY DICK YOU CONSCIOUSLY DECIDE TO CHOKE DOWN spigot: THAT'S ONE STEP CLOSER TO NOT MAKING IT INTO THE KINGDOM spigot: I'M TALKING ABOUT THE QUEER KINGDOM SOUTH OF FOLSOM

pants: I'M INVITING YOU TO FUCK MY FACE deuce: I WILL ACCEPT THE INVITATION (AS WELL AS THE RESPONSIBILITY)

atandt: IF YOU DON'T MIND atandt: PLEASE REMOVE YOUR DONG FROM MY ARMPIT deuce: I AM KEEPING IT WARM (WINTER)

spigot: I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THIS IS ALL FOR SOME PISSCAM PROJECT BUT I'M TRYING HARD TO HOLD STEADY

bung: T SPIGOT HAVE YOU REACHED UNIX GURU STATUS YET spigot: I CAN CD INTO A DIR bung: +5 MOUSE PAD OF JERKING

deuce: SO I SIGNED UP FOR JOINING A PENAL COLONY BUT WELL LONG STORY SHORT IT WASN'T WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE net: WE HAVE ALL MADE THAT MISTAKE

deuce: DICKS, ETC spigot: I WISH COMPUTERS COULD BRING US CLOSER TOGETHER deuce: T SPIGOT DO YOU MEAN CLOSER LIKE TOUCHING DICKS deuce: OR WHAT spigot: YOU SAID THERE WAS WATER ON THE MOON AND INSTEAD IT'S JUST MORE GODDAMN COCKSUCKING

pants: PLEASE HELP ME PICK OUT A GOWN FOR THE COCKSUCKERS BALL

spigot: T DEUCE YOU SAID THIS WASN'T A KISSING GAME deuce: MMMMMMMM spigot: OFF spigot: T PANTS I ACCIDENTALLY SPILLED DOPE SMOKE INTO MY MOUTH AND LUNGS TEN TIMES spigot: DIAGNOSIS: CINNAMON BUNS spigot: I'M FAT deuce: FUCK YOU

spigot: I'D LIKE TO OPEN THIS MEETING WITH THIS RAP SONG ABOUT LINUX!!!!!! I MADE IT ON THE BUS!!!! spigot: A PTTH spigot: A FRPFPR spigot: DEAD BATTERIES spigot: DOES ANYONE HAVE A CORD THAT CAN GO FROM A WALKMAN TO THE WALL OUTLET!?!!!? spigot: A PPTHTHTH spigot: I SPRAINED MY NECK spigot: FOLKS, "PUFFIES" REFERS TO PUFFY NIPPLES

: [GAY UNDERWEAR SEX]

spigot: THE BACK OF THIS TOILET IS THE LYSOL-CLEAN I CAN TRUST spigot: I CAN SEE MY FACE IN THE TILE pants: I CAN SEE YOUR FACE IN THE TILE spigot: I CAN SEE MY NOSE IN THE TILE pants: WE CAN ALL SEE YOUR FACE IN THE TILE pants: NOW LET'S GET BACK TO WORK spigot: NOW I CANNOT SEE?????????

deuce: T PANTS I AM DIG DUG AND I AM GOING TO INFLATE YOU UNTIL YOU POP net: INSERT HOSE HERE deuce: ARE YOU FRYGAR ?!?! pants: T DEUCE I WOULD LIKE THAT (ALSO I AM A BLUE GHOST SO CHOMP ME UP)

spigot: THE CLOSEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS IS BEATING OFF !!! spigot: SURELY YOU'RE SUCKING MY DICK MR. FEYNMAN ?!?!??!?!

pants: HE SMILES EVEN THOUGH I AM PUNCHING HIM, USING HIM AS A JACKOFF FAMILIAR

deuce: GLAGHLAGHLAGHLHGLAHGLAHG spigot: IS THAT THE SOUND OF YOU POURING ALL YOUR BEER DOWN THE TOILET AND SHAVING AND PUTTING ON A SMART SHIRT AND GOING TO CHURCH AND GETTING YOUR ACT TOGETHER??!?!??!??!! deuce: ALGHALHGLAHGLAHGLAHLGHAGHL (MORE FORCEFUL NOW) spigot: ARE GREENSLEEVES AND GREENPEACE THE SAME THING

spigot: SORRY HR LADY!!!!!!!!! I BEAT OFF TO BLONDES I DON'T TALK TO THEM

spigot: CAN YOU GET PREGNANT FROM ANAL SEX deuce: WE WILL CONDUCT 1000 SCIENTIFIC TRIALS ALSO WE WILL NEED ANOTHER 1000 FOR THE CONTROL GROUP

pants: (I VOTE FOR MORE SUFFERAGE) pants: (AND LESS ROUGHAGE) deuce: GET OUT OF HERE SIR deuce: YOU HAVE CONTAMINATED THE POOL pants: I MUST BE CONFUSED deuce: IT'S THE PECKING ORDER MOTHERFUCKER pants: IT'S MORE LIKE A CIRCLE deuce: T PANTS THAT WOULD BE A LINE

atandt: TELL PANTS CAN YOU TWO STEP pants: WHEN PUSHED REALLY HARD FROM BEHIND YES

spigot: I'M A LESBIAN!!!!!! spigot: WHY'S THAT?!?!?! spigot: YOU REFUSE TO BE DOMINATED IN A MALE WORLD ?!?!? spigot: NO!!!!! spigot: BECAUSE BIG DICKS HURT MY MOUTH!!!!! spigot: [LAUGHTER]

deuce: I'M A POO PET pants: I WILL PET YOU deuce: YOU WILL GET POO ON YOU (I AM WARNING YOU) pants: I AM NOT PARTICULAR deuce: VERY WELL

deuce: DENZEL'S USING A POWERBOOK SO YOU KNOW THE MOVIE IS FAKE RIGHT THERE

spigot: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF ................... spigot: LET'S GO AROUND !!!!!! spigot: GLK spigot: SQUEEZING MY NECK WITH YOUR FIST deuce: THAT IS HOW IT TURNS RED YOU SEE spigot: THEN I MIGHT BE A REDNECK deuce: FUCKING HOLD STILL

: INIT: SINGLE USER MODE ozone: BALLS???????????????? deuce: T OZONE INDEED pants: I VOTE BALLS

pants: LA LA LA pants: SINGING pants: LA LA LA HURP deuce: I LOVE YOUR MOUTH spigot: I LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH YOUR MOUTH spigot: FEELS DIFFERENT SOMEHOW deuce: WHOA MOUTH spigot: WERE YOU ENJOYING A BOX OF TRISCUITS

spigot: I AM TELLING YOU TO TWIST PADDLE 0 AND YOU ARE TWISTING PADDLE 1

pants: CANADIAN BONERS TASTE LIKE MAPLE FOR SOME REASON deuce: IT'S THE RED POINTY THING ON THEIR FLAG pants: MMM MAPLE

spigot: OH LORD MY INTESTINES ARE WRAPPED AROUND MY GYM SHORTS

atandt: HELLO FAGGOTS atandt: IT'S TIME FOR THE ATANDT SHOW deuce: BEGIN atandt: <SFX: SOUND OF PANTS DROPPING> atandt: THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING atandt: <SFX: CLAPPING> deuce: THIS PLAY SUCKS atandt: T DEUCE THIS IS NO PLAY THIS IS TRUE LIFE TV deuce: THIS PLAY SUCKS

spigot: FOLKS I'M SAD TO REPORT I AM DYING FROM DICKLICKER'S DISEASE BUT I REALLY THINK YOU'LL FIND MY REQUIRED TREATMENT IRONIC AND INEXPENSIVE!!!!!! F-R-E-E

spigot: I WILL START A CLUB CALLED THE GAY AND LESBIAN AND HOMOSEXUAL AND LESBIAN AND LESBIAN AND GAY AND HOMOSEXUAL AND GAY AND LESBIAN AND GAY AND GAY AND HOMOSEXUAL AND GAY AND LESBIAN AND GAY CLUB AND IT WILL BE CALLED THE GALAHALALAGAHAGALAGAGAHAGALAG CLUB deuce: I WILL JOIN (HERE ARE MY DUES)

pants: THE STARK STORY OF A FAMILY LIVING IN THE MILLENNIUM AND THE PROBLEMS THEY ARE FACED WITH AS THEY ARE KILLED OFF ONE BY ONE

spigot: FIVE MONTHS STANDING IN LINE!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: FIVE MONTHS IN THE RAIN AND COLD!!!!!!!! spigot: FIVE MONTHS OF BLISTERING HEAT!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: FIVE MONTHS OF PEOPLE LAUGHING AT ME AND MY STUPID CLOTHES AND FREAKISH FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: FIVE MONTHS OF PEOPLE DRIVING BY AND SPRAYING ME WITH GUNFIRE AND URINE BALLOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: FIVE LONG MONTHS OF SAVING UP FOR TOYS AND MERCHANDISE!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: QUIET!!!!! THE OPENING CREDITS!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

deuce: I CAN JUST BARELY SEE YOU ALL THROUGH THE PISS CURTAIN pants: DO YOU MEAN THE CURTAIN OF PISS pants: OR THE PISS CURTAINS IN THE LIVING ROOM/BEDROOM/DINING ROOM pants: IT'S MORE OF A NEVER-ENDING WATERFALL spigot: OH YOU MEAN YOU AND YOUR TWELVE FRIENDS STANDING ABOVE ME IN A SEMI-CIRCLE spigot: THAT'S CLEVER AND CREATIVE pants: THERE ARE MORE ABOVE IN THE RAFTERS/CATACOMBS

deuce: DALEKS AND CYBERMEN spigot: MY DONG IS WHAT YOU WOULD CALL "AL DENTE"

atandt: WE SHOULD START LICKING FOR THE NEW YEAR --> NOW <-- deuce: YOU START atandt: THAT'S A BIG --> CAN DO <-- atandt: HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGGHGULHGUGHUGHU T DEUCE THAT WAS MORE OF A CHOKING

spigot: HEY JUDE spigot: SOMETHING SOMETHING spigot: I KNOCKED THE BONG OVER pants: PAPER TOWELS spigot: YOU'RE JUST RUBBING IT INTO THE CARPET

net: T PANTS WHO WILL BE LUCKY PIERRE pants: T NET I TEND TO ARRIVE BLINDFOLDED WHEN I ATTEND THESE EVENTS pants: T NET I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT THERE WILL BE CORN AND DOG RACING pants: OKAY COCKFIGHTING pants: SLAPFIGHTING LIKE GIRLS

spigot: WHAT I LIKE TO DO IS ADD THE PHRASE "IN BED" TO THE END OF MY FORTUNE COOKIES!!!!!!!!!! spigot: I WILL LICK DICK ... IN BED!!!!!! spigot: I WILL CUT OFF MY DONG AND BALLS ... IN BED!!!!!!!!!! spigot: I HAVE A KEEN EYE FOR RAPING PROSTITUTES AND CLOROXING THEM DOWN THE BATHTUB ... IN BED !!!!!!!!!! spigot: SOME DON'T WORK

spigot: SOMEONE NEEDS THE NIGHTTIME SNIFFLING SNEEZING COUGHING ACHING WHEEZING STUFFY-HEAD FEVER SO YOU CAN SUCK A DICK MEDICINE

pants: PRAY FOR COCK pants: PRAY WITH ME NOW pants: LET US PRAY pants: FOR COCK deuce: GHGLHGAHLGHLAGH pants: TOGETHER ..... WE WILL ........ PRAY FOR COCK pants: OH DEAR LORD GOD IN HEAVEN deuce: LHGAHLAGHLGHLGALHAGHLGALH DOWN HE DRAIN WE GO

spigot: NET YAROZE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: FAT KIDS pants: SHORT KIDS spigot: EVEN KIDS WITH DONGS pants: GAY KIDS spigot: DID I SAY FAT KIDS pants: ALSO KIDS WITH BONGS

deuce: MAN SANDRA BERNHARD IS FUCKING DISGUSTING pants: YES SHE IS A FREAKISH WHOREBAG THING deuce: DISGUSTING deuce: HEY GREAT YOU'RE PREGNANT GET THE FUCK OFF MY SCREEN pants: SHE WOULD LOOK NORMAL EXCEPT FOR HER FACE AND BODY deuce: PRETTY MUCH IF YOU REPLACED EVERYTHING WITH SOMETHING ELSE THEN SHE WOULD BE AWESOME deuce: (ALSO DARK SPRAY PAINT IS REQUIRED) pants: NOT SO KEEN ON THE SPRAY PAINT (UNLESS WE USE GOLD) deuce: T PANTS GOLD IS GOOD (RE: LOVE DELUXE)

spigot: HEY LOOK EVERYONE I'M ITALIAN spigot: MMM THAT'S A GOOD PIZZA PIE spigot: MY RED AND WHITE STRIPED SHIRT SURE FITS NICE spigot: I LIKE BOYS spigot: HOLY GOD MY WEINER JUST GOT FAT LIKE A SALAMI WHEN I SAID THAT spigot: I'D BETTER SHUT UP spigot: I'M GIOVANNI THE ITALIAN PEDOPHILE spigot: SHHHHHHHHHH spigot: CALZONES WILL KEEP MY MIND OFF BOYS spigot: I'M GOING TO SPURT OFF RIGHT HERE IN MY TIGHT PANTS spigot: THAT'S AMORE

spigot: PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT MY BONER UNDER THE TABLE AT THANKSGIVING

spigot: NOT IN CZ OR KR OR JP OR GLKGRBL spigot: WHY DOES SHOPKOSOVO.COM KEEP GOING DOWN

atandt: I WILL CLOSE MY EYES atandt: I WILL VISUALIZE A BETTER LIFE FOR ME AND MY WIFE AND MY LITTLE BOY atandt: GOD DAMNIT WHY AM I MARRIED WHY TEN FUCKING CHILDREN

pants: TOO MUCH POO SAID POPPA BEAR

spigot: PLEASE OVERRIDE MY VIRTUAL MEMBER deuce: I CAN ONLY OVERRIDE YOU IF YOU ARE A VIRTUAL MEMBER FUNCTION SIR spigot: HERE'S TEN DOLLARS deuce: NOW YOU'RE TALKING MOTHERFUCKER

deuce: THE ONE WHERE KIRK AND UHURA KISS spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO FART IN YOUR FACE FOR THE FULL HOUR spigot: $20 $40 $60 $80 ETC deuce: I THINK THAT WOULD BE AT THE $60 LEVEL deuce: OKAY A QUARTER spigot: I'M BROKE deuce: A FREEBIE THEN

pants: T DEUCE WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF WE WERE MARRIED (THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT SO LONG) spigot: I'M GOING TO LEAVE MY DONG COOLING ON THE WINDOWSILL!!!!! NOBODY BETTER CHOKE IT DOWN WHILE I'M TAKING A NAP!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: IT TOOK ME TWO KITKATS JUST TO GET TO THE VIDEO STORE!!!!!!!!! AND TWO REESE'S CUPS JUST TO GET HOME deuce: T SPIGOT ALTERNATIVE FUELS

atandt: I HID A BOMB IN THE COFFEE SHOP SOMEWHERE IN SAN FRANCISCO spigot: I DRINK COFFEE AT HOME pants: *KABOOM* spigot: YOU TRICKED ME (FALLING FROM THE SKY) pants: *KABOOM* spigot: TWO BOMBS?!?!?!?!? (BACK UP IN THE AIR) pants: *KABOOM*

atandt: OKAY I DON'T GET THE NEW BONEQUEST AT ALL spigot: NOT LOOKING YET atandt: GIVE ME 2 MINS deuce: YOU HAVE THIRTY SECONDS AND THEN I CALL THE COPS

spigot: SORRY FOR THE WIDE DISTRIBUTION (OF PISS ALL OVER THE TOILET PAPERS AND TOWELS)

spigot: STEPHEN KING'S THE POKING deuce: IT'S SHOWTIME AT MY BALLS pants: ANOTHER BAD EXPERIENCE WITH A TONGUE DEPRESSOR spigot: I'M A FOOL FOR LOVE bung: LIFT YOUR FUCKING FEET WHEN YOU WALK OTHERWISE W.W.III spigot: AND MUFFINS WITH ICING

spigot: COCKS PEOPLE spigot: I DON'T LOG IN FOR NOTHING

spigot: GARLIC BAGELS WITH GARLIC BUTTER!!! deuce: I THOUGHT YOU SAID GARLIC BALLS spigot: IT'S NOT ABOUT LICKING DICK IT'S ABOUT LICKING DICK UNDER OATH

pants: DEAR MADONNA, PLEASE SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS AGAIN spigot: CC: BRITNEY pants: BCC: BACKSTREET BOYS

spigot: GODDAMNIT LADY I SAID ON THE PHONE I NEEDED SOMEONE TO DRIBBLE AND DROOL LONG STRINGY STRANDS OF SLOBBER ALL OVER MY DICK AND SUBSEQUENTLY HER FACE !!!!!!!!!! INSTEAD YOU ARE COPPING SOME LOSER-BITCH ATTITUDE WHICH FORCES ME TO BAND YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE MARBLE SINK deuce: THE MATING RITUALS OF SPIGOT spigot: NEXT ON DISCOVERY????? OR BIOGRAPHY spigot: YOU'VE MADE US THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ENTIRE QUADRANT

spigot: KERVORKIAN EYEBALLS COFFEE CAKE deuce: DO THEY HAVE THOSE IN PRISON deuce: I MEAN ASIDE FROM THE STIFF UNWANTED ANAL RAPE atandt: DID SOMEONE SAY PRISON RAPE spigot: HURMPH spigot: BONK spigot: HURMPH spigot: NOW THAT'S A LETHAL INJECTION!!!!!! AM I RIGHT?!?!?! spigot: LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR DOCTOR KERPUNKIAN WHICH IS YOUR NEW NAME AS OF (LOOKING AT DONG) RIGHT NOW

spigot: I'M A SHORT WIDE GOTH WHO'S MAKING A CYBERDIFFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deuce: STRAIGHT TO HELL FOR YOU AND YOU AND YOU pants: AND ME pants: DON'T FORGET ME pants: I GET TO GO TOO deuce: NOT YOU YOU'RE THE COCKSUCKING TOOL pants: ALSO THIS JUST IN STRAIGHT FROM THE FRONT LINES: HUALGHLAHLAHGLUAG : [picture of Claire]

pants: A GREAT GOOD GODDAMN LET'S HEAR IT SHOUT IT OUT pants: \\DICKS (TRYING REALLY REALLY HARD) pants: CCCP (I'M CLEAR ON THE THREE C'S BUT HELP ME OUT WITH THE REST) pants: IN CAHOOTS WITH TITS pants: I AM STILL ONLY THIRTY FIVE CENTS pants: THIS IS THE WORST MARVEL TEAM-UP EVER deuce: GOOD LORD GET THAT GUY A DICK STAT HE'S IN DICKLESS DELERIUM pants: MAN THE PANTALOONS

spigot: NOMINATED FOR A 1998 WEBBY AWARD!!!!!!#($@)(#%GBLHRLUBHRBU) deuce: SUICIDE IS THE ONLY WAY OUT NOW spigot: I AM GOING TO WITHDRAW MY LAST FEW DOLLARS AND BUY A GUN AND TOUR THE STALLS OF AMERICA deuce: GOING OUT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY (PISS, TOILETS)

spigot: IT'S SUCKER PUNCH A QUEER MONTH AT YOUR NORTHERN CALIFORNIA MAZDA DEALER spigot: I SWEAR TO GOD I'M LOIS LANE AND THOSE ARE NOT HEROIN NEEDLES spigot: IF CHRISTOPHER REEVE GETS TO BE PARALYZED THEN I GET TO BE CRAZY

pants: WHAT IN THE spigot: SPRACKENZE ****DICKS**** pants: JA, DA spigot: FAGGOT pants: NEIN NEIN spigot: PUNCH POUND WHAP SLAP LASH FENCEPOST BEATINGS FREEZINGS SHOOTINGS AND COMMUNITIES COMING TOGETHER

spigot: CAN SOMEONE HELP ME DEBUG THIS PLEASE: spigot: <HMTL> spigot: <PIC = "UNTITLED 1">WELCOME TO THE ENCLAVE</PIC) spigot: CLICK HERE TO FLAP INSIDE!! spigot: </HMTL> spigot: <JAVA = "RECTANGLE"> pants: TRY MOVING TO SEATTLE THAT'LL FIX IT pants: SPEAKING SPANISH pants: GGGGGGGGGGGGGG

spigot: I WISH I COULD DIAL NINE TO GET MY HEAD OUTSIDE OF THE TOILET

pants: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BATHROOM PATROL pants: AND YOU ARE NOT OFFICER DONGALONG pants: BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I AM WILLING TO BE ARRESTED, CHAINED SOMEWHERE spigot: SO YOU HAVE KIDNAPPED ME spigot: INSTRUCTED ME TO TAKE THE DOLLARS THAT GET POKED THROUGH THE HOLE IN THE WALL... spigot: ...AND HAND THEM SMALL BAGS OF CRACK COCAINE?!?!? spigot: AND I AM HANDCUFFED TO THIS HOT WATER HEATER PIPE?????? spigot: DO I GET A BREAK ANYTIME SOON?!?!?!!? SIR WITH THE GHETTO BLASTER AND RAP CD'S

dick: FEELING ESPECIALLY DANCY / PRANCY THIS MORNING dick: I AM PUNCHING YOUR PRE-PAID BLOWJOB CARD TWICE BECAUSE YOU DID NOT BATHE TODAY dick: MAKE THAT THREE TIMES (UNCIRCUMCIZED)

spigot: ONLINE FILTERS HELP MY PARENTS DECIDE !!!! AND THEY KEEP ME SAFE !!! spigot: DAD'S BRUSHING MY MOUTH OUT WITH SOMETHING

pants: I'M A BAD MOTHERFUCKER DON'T YOU KNOW deuce: I CAN SENSE AND SMELL THAT

deuce: HOW CAN TWENTY YEAR OLD PROBES ARE STILL WORKING FINE deuce: BUT THE SHIT WE PUT TOGETHER NOW KEEPS BREAKING BEFORE IT GETS ANYWHERE spigot: BECAUSE THEY DON'T MAKE TAPE AND STRING LIKE THEY USED TO deuce: IT'S ALL PLASTICS NOW spigot: ALSO THE YOUNG KIDS TODAY ARE SIGNIFICANTLY MORE STONED THAN THEIR FOREFATHERS deuce: DIDN'T YOU SEE ANDROMEDA STRAIN ?!?!? AND THAT'S WHERE THE STUFF IS !!! SO NO KIDDING IT'S BROKEN spigot: HOW CAN A VIRUS THAT KILLS EVERYTHING STAY ALIVE FOR NINETY BORING MINUTES spigot: QUAKER OATS MAKES QUISP

spigot: THIS MOVIE DOES NOT HAVE CHRIS NOTH!!!!! IT IS PETER NORTH spigot: WHY IS HE DOING THAT TO CLAIRE deuce: I LONGED FOR THIS MOMENT AND YET NOW IT'S SOMEONE ELSE spigot: IS HE PLANTING EVIDENCE ON HER FACE????? I AM TOTALLY LOST HERE spigot: IT IS ME WHO IS EXILED

spigot: I JUST TOLD SOME STUPID MARKETING WHORE SHE WAS A HOT LITTLE FILLIE!!!!! spigot: AND SHE MADE ONE OF THOSE "MAD, OUTRAGED" FACES spigot: THEN I PULLED HER BLOUSE UP OVER HER HEAD AND SQUEEZED HER TITTIES RIGHT THROUGH HER BRA!!!!!! spigot: WELL BACK TO LOOKING AT PORN spigot: FREE KEVIN !!! spigot: I PLEAD GUILTY spigot: NEVER MIND !!! deuce: GGGG

pants: PERHAPS A MAJOR-MOTION PICTURE ABOUT POOP, POO deuce: DEFINITELY MOTION pants: COMP ME WITH SANDWICHES AND CHIPS AND PRICKS WILLYA deuce: COCK A DOODLE DONG pants: ARE WE DOWN ON THE FARM AGAIN ?!? OH BOY deuce: THE VERY BAD FARM pants: I WILL MILK YOU, COLLECT YOUR EGGS AND BE YOUR BABY DUCKLING deuce: MADRE DE DIOS spigot: YES SIR NO SIR SUCKING DICK SIR spigot: ALL MY COCKS IN A BIG FAT ROW SIR

pants: WORDS I LEARNED BY READING LARRY FLYNT PUBLICATIONS: COCKSLUT, DIRT HOLE, PRICK HOUND, PISS-SCENTED, SPENT HOSE, ROPY TRAJECTORY, MOPPING JIZZ, BALL-SHRIVELING, COWLIKE deuce: AGLHALGHALGH

spigot: I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW A "FAGGOT" CAN ALSO MEAN A TIGHTLY-WRAPPED BUNDLE OF DICKS!!!! spigot: I MEAN STICKS spigot: GUESS I HAD A FREUDIAN SPLURT!!! I MEAN SPLUTTERY FACE!!!! I MEAN FAGGOTY SLOBBERGBLKGPTH deuce: A DICK STAT

pants: HERE COMES THE HOTSTEPPER pants: COCKS ??? deuce: THERE HE IS !!!!!!!! deuce: PEOPLE OF THE WORLD deuce: PANTS IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN' HOUSE : PANTS BELCHES UP SPERM deuce: CUT pants: SORRY

atandt: T SPIGOT WHY ARE YOU STILL UP spigot: CRUISING FOR PRICKS, CURLY FRIES atandt: JOLLY GOOD

deuce: SHOULD I GET ANOTHER BEER? [Y/N] pants: COCKS deuce: THAT IS AN INVALID ANSWER deuce: SHOULD I GET ANOTHER BEER? [Y/N] pants: COCKS deuce: YOU ARE A FUCKING FAGGOT deuce: SHOULD I GET ANOTHER BEER? [Y/N] pants: COCKS pants: COCKS pants: COCKS pants: COCKS pants: COCKS deuce: SHOULD I GET ANOTHER BEER? [Y/N] pants: TRYING TO TEACH YOU A LESSON !!! pants: COCKS

pants: I'M GOING TO KEEP YOU IN A BOX pants: BE MY VALENTINE pants: DOCTOR BONER IS IN atandt: T DOCTOR BONER HOW CAN I GET ONE (A BONER) pants: I HAVE NO IDEA atandt: T DOCTOR BONER PLZ DO THE RESEARCH (WILL PAY) pants: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH !!! atandt: T DOCTOR BONER THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE pants: LINE

spigot: NEVER GONNA GET IT / NEVER GONNA GET IT spigot: NEVER GONNA GET / YOUR STUPID ALBUM

spigot: FOUR MORE PRICKS spigot: FOUR MORE PRICKS spigot: FOUR MORE PRICKS spigot: FOUR MORE HURMPH spigot: PANK YOU

deuce: B-2 STEALTH BOMBERS MAKE COMBAT DEBUT ?? I HOPE NOT AS WHAT THEY WERE ORIGINALLY DESIGNED FOR spigot: THESE BOMBS ARE DROPPING COURTESY OF TACO BELL AND PEPSI !!!!!!!!! spigot: YO QUIERO TACO BELL !!!!!!!! BOOM SMASH BURN deuce: OPERATION ALLIED FORCE ?!?!?!? CAN'T WE COME UP WITH SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT spigot: HOWDY FROM AMERICA spigot: GOT MILK?!?!?!!?!?!? CRASH SMASH EXPLODE spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO SEE OPERATION BOMB ALL OTHER NATIONS deuce: T SPIGOT "EXPLODE" IS NOT VERY ONOMATOPOETIC : Originally published February 30, 1999

pants: HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY PANTS spigot: I DIALED 10-10-321 spigot: A GAGGLE OF FAGGOTY FAGGOTS pants: THIS IS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN THE DOVES CRY spigot: HURF HURF HURF HURF HURF HURF HURF spigot: SIR IN THE NEXT STALL ARE YOU MASTURBATING OR BEATING EGGS FOR AN OMELETTE deuce: TORA TORA TORA

atandt: THERE ARE A LOT OF COMICS ON THE INTERNET deuce: YES SIR pants: A LOT OF FAGS TOO pants: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT ??? deuce: THROW YOU AT THEM AND HOPE YOU DISTRACT THEM LONG ENOUGH FOR US TO ESCAPE pants: FAG

pants: I WISH I COULD JUST FLAP MY ARMS AND FLY AWAY FROM THE CRUELTY AND FATNESS (BUT NOT FROM THE HAMBURGERS AND HAMBURGERS WITH CHEESE) spigot: T PANTS I CALL THEM CHEESEBURGERS

spigot: I WASN'T GOING TO LICK DICK, THEN I REALIZED I HAVE TO BE FLEXIBLE

deuce: SMEARING IT pants: HAVING IT SMEARED I SUPPOSE (FOLLOWING ALONG EVEN THOUGH IT IS DARK, COLD OUT) pants: NOT REAL SURE ABOUT THIS pants: THE LANTERN WENT OUT

spigot: KNOCK KNOCK !!! pants: WHO IS THERE ??? spigot: BRAD CHAD AND THAD !!! pants: BRAD CHAD AND THAD WHO ??? spigot: WHO CARES !!! HOMPTH THBPBLGH HBLRTKTPTH*&%

atandt: APPEARS JAVA ISN'T SAVING THE WORLD AS PLANNED spigot: MAYBE SOME SORT OF PISSLET

spigot: LET'S GO TO THE MOON AND LICK DICK deuce: YOU KNOW WE DON'T HAVE TO GO TO THE MOON FOR ALL THAT deuce: (I.E., A SPACE IN MY BATHROOM JUST OPENED UP) spigot: THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT WE GET NASA INVOLVED

spigot: I'LL SAY IT AGAIN: LET'S GO TO THE MOON AND LICK DICK spigot: I'M SERIOUSLY SUGGESTING WE SLURP AND SUCK IN A SINCERE, PATIENT MANNER

spigot: I AM SLOWLY MORPHING INTO A TOTAL COCKSUCKER !!! spigot: THE BEFORE AND AFTER SNAPSHOTS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME ?!? spigot: ALONG WITH EACH FRAME DURING THE MORPH ??? spigot: WELL THAT CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING !!! spigot: HOMPTH HURMPTH I WAS A COCKSUCKER THE WHOLE GOD DAMN TIME HURMPTH PURMPTHGLK

spigot: EVERYONE BE QUIET I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY !!! spigot: ASFLKJDAS :FLSD :FSD:LIF :(W#UR) ( pants: I HEAR AND/OR OBEY

deuce: HUHHUHUHUHUHUH CHUCK WOLLERY PLEASE FIND ME A DATE deuce: GGHLGGHGLGHLGLGH OKAY HAVING SEX WITH CHUCK WOLLERY deuce: I THINK I MADE A LOVE CONNECTION

spigot: FOLKS CAN WE HAVE JUST A MOMENT FOR HARVEY MILK AND FORMER GOVERNOR MOSCONE spigot: HGLAUGHALUTGHALU spigot: THLTHLTH spigot: GLKGLKGLKGKLG spigot: JEAN CHARLES YOU FOOL YOU HAVE LEFT GAY VOICEMAIL TO THE ENTIRE COMPANY

pants: YOU ARE EATING ALL THE TARMAC deuce: THAT IS THE ONLY WAY I WILL BECOME STRONG (THINKING IT'S SPINACH) pants: THE POOP DECK IS FULL AGAIN deuce: GET A MOP (DO NOT PEE ON IT) pants: I PROMISE NOTHING : This is a true story.

pants: I WILL DRUG YOU AND FUCK YOU pants: WHAT pants: YES I'LL HOLD

spigot: I'M A LIMPWRITHTED JEDI MATHTER UTHING THE FORTH

pants: JESUS THE GAYNESS IS OVERWELMING deuce: YOU WILL HAVE TO LEARN TO CONTROL IT OR YOU WILL NEVER SURVIVE IN THE WILD

: TODAY'S EPISODE IS INVERTED FOR THE CHINESE pants: ARE YOU AN 8 BALL CHICK deuce: I WILL GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT pants: HAPPEN TO ME deuce: YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE A PART OF THE EQUATION, JUST A VICTIM

spigot: LIFETIME: spigot: TELEVISION FOR WOMEN spigot: NOW HERE'S A BUNCH OF ADS FOR CLEANING PRODUCTS spigot: BATTERED WOMEN'S SHELTERS spigot: AND CREDIT CARDS spigot: WITH PICTURES OF KITTY CATS !!! spigot: WE NOW RETURN TO TWO FAT LADIES

deuce: OPERATION NOBLE ANVIL ?!!?! FUCKING HOMOS ARE IN CHARGE OF THE MILITARY deuce: BESIDES SHOULDN'T WE BE THE HAMMER ?!??!!? YOU UNEDUCATED MILITARY IDIOTS spigot: I THINK THEY MEAN THEY ARE DROPPING AN ANVIL LIKE IN THE CARTOONS spigot: YOU BUNCHED-UP COCKSUCKER : Originally published February 29, 1999

spigot: HOW ABOUT A FAT WISE INDIAN WOMAN WITH A DOT, BOBBING HER HEAD AROUND STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA OF A SOFT FOCUS SPRINT COMMERCIAL CLAIMING HER STAKE IN THE INTERNET GENERATION ??? SURPRISE FOLKS !!! NOBODY YAHOOS

deuce: WHO PUT ON THE PACHELBEL (THE GE SOFT LIGHTBULB SONG) spigot: YES FOLKS WHEN YOU'RE EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD THE WORD SODOMY IS NEW AND FUNNY deuce: MMMMM spigot: PLEASE FUCKING CHOKE ON THESE TEN SHOTGUNS deuce: T SPIGOT BUT SODOMY IS STILL FUNNY deuce: T SPIGOT BUT IT IS MORE LIKE AN OLD SHOE RATHER THAN A NEW WORD spigot: HANG AROUND THE LOSER NIN KLUB AND SEE HOW FUNNY IT IS spigot: AND WHERE IS MY FUCKING BARELY LEGAL FOR APRIL deuce: IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU ISN'T IT

deuce: I LIKE DICK ????? DO YOU pants: I DO pants: HELLO OVER THERE deuce: YOUR RESPONSE WAS LOST IN THE MOUNTAIN OF SPAM AND DOS ATTACKS pants: HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME ??? HELLO ?!? [X] I LIKE DICK <--- SEE !!! I CHECKED THE BOX

pants: JFK JR'S PLANE IS LATE!!!! deuce: SO ANYONE WANT TO GET A NET AND FISH JFK, JR.'S BODY OUT OF THE WATER?!?!? pants: ARRRRG THIS BE MARTHA'S BONEYARD spigot: IS JFK RELATED TO THE KFC COLONEL deuce: COVERED WITH PLANE FUEL AND PARTS OF HIS WIFE pants: MAYBE THEY'LL NAME AN UNDERWATER AIRPORT AFTER HIM???? spigot: I SURE HOPE HE'S FINGER-LICKIN' SAFE!!!!! spigot: JOHN F. KENNEDY JR. FOUND ALIVE, WEARY spigot: YAY !!!!! deuce: YAY !!!!! pants: YAY !!!!! spigot: JOHN F. KENNEDY JR. ASSASSINATED!!!!!!

spigot: SORRY FOLKS!!!!!!! NOT JOHN KENNEDY, JUST MTV'S KENNEDY !! SINCERELY CNN spigot: NOW HERE'S AN ENDLESSLY CYCLING RECAP OF HER BRILLIANT CAREER spigot: HERE'S ME WEARING THICK HORN-RIMMED GLASSES BECAUSE URBAN OUTFITTERS HAD A SALE spigot: HERE'S ME BLOWING KURT LODER ON HIS PRIVATE YACHT spigot: MY FIRST PAYCHECK !!! BIG SMILES spigot: OOPS !!! UNEARTHED TAPE OF ME AND ED POWERS spigot: HEY DID I EVER TELL YOU I WAS ALMOST ON LETTERMAN ?!?!?! spigot: NO WONDER DANA PLATO OVERDOSED HERSELF

spigot: I AM THE PIE MAN spigot: KOO KOO BUH DUH spigot: DOES ORAL SEX COUNT AS GAY SEX

deuce: I SHOULD JOIN THE MILITARY !!!! pants: AIR FORCE ??? NAVY ???? MARINES ?!??!!? TOO OLD WHAT THE deuce: COAST GUARD ?!!?!? DICKLICKERS FORCE ?!?!?? pants: I WOULD GO WITH THE FORCE THING spigot: I DON'T ACTUALLY WANT TO RUN AROUND !!! I JUST WANT TO SUCK THEM ALL OFF !!! pants: LIKE A CHICKEN WITH ITS HEAD CUT OFF EXCEPT NOT ACTUALLY A HEADLESS CHICKEN deuce: AND NOT EVEN REALLY RUNNING AROUND MORE LIKE JUST SITTING STILL TAKING THE DICKS EVERY WHICH WAY pants: I FOLLOW

spigot: RE: SISTA 4, THIS ONE WAS A WALL TO WALL WHORE EXTRAVAGANZA, ALL GIRLS AND CONSEQUENTLY LITTLE OR NO SPURT (JUST SALIVA) deuce: T SPIGOT I SUPPOSE YOU'RE A SPURT MAN THEN spigot: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT deuce: T SPIGOT WHICH GIRL IN SISTA 4 ARE YOU REFERRING TO spigot: DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

pants: A GANG OF MOUTHS pants: MAN THE BATTLESTATIONS, MEN

spigot: SO YOU SAY YOU'RE A 38 YEAR OLD WIRELESS COMMUNICATIONS CONSULTANT LIVING AND WORKING IN THE BAY AREA, WHO LOVES CATS AND ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SNURK HONK HUH LISTENING

deuce: DROWNING IN IT (PALMOLIVE) spigot: THAT'S CLEVER

deuce: I AM THE BIGGEST SLIDERS FAN EVER atandt: JESUS GOD I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE INTELLIGENT AGENT TECHNOLOGY IN OFFICE 2000 pants: DANCING PAPER CLIPS CHASING ME, FORCED TO RECANT MY EARLIER TESTIMONY atandt: CLICK BEEP BOOP 1 MEG OF 2.6 GIGS INSTALL BEEP BEEP CLICK DELETE deuce: NO I MEANT TO TYPE COCKS

spigot: QUIET WHILE I READ TOM CLANCY'S FORCE OF POKING spigot: SPOILERS !!! spigot: I'M A FAG deuce: T SPIGOT THAT'S NOT MUCH OF A SPOILER SIR

deuce: MOTHER COCK DICKS atandt: CUT atandt: PRINT THAT

pants: STRONG BONER RELATED CRYPTO AT WORK HERE PEOPLE pants: TRYING TO CRACK THE CODE (IE FIGURE OUT HOW THE STUPID 501 BLUEJEANS ZIPPER WORKS) pants: THANK GOD FOR BUTTON FLY BLUHHHH DUH GLORMPTH

deuce: THEY DISCOVERED A NEW PARTICLE TODAY: THE PRICKALINO !!!!!!! pants: REALLY NOW pants: WHAT ARE ITS NESTING HABITS deuce: IT LIKES TO POKE AND PROD pants: WELL THEN

:look: ANGRY EVERYBODY IS deuce: GLHAGLHAG pants: SOMEONE'S SUCKING deuce: NOT ME GLHABLHBHGABHLLGH PASS THE KETCHUP GLABHGLHBGLHBL

spigot: FOLKS LET'S SPEND BILLIONS TO GET ESCORT GIRLS OUT OF OUR NEIGHBORHOODS !!! AND MANDATORY AWARENESS SEMINARS FOR WOULD-BE CUSTOMERS WHO WE CAN SET UP AND BUST BY PRETENDING TO BE THOSE ESCORT GIRLS !!! spigot: USA /USA

spigot: A LITERAL BROWNOUT

deuce: I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED ABOUT THIS WHOLE SENDMAIL THING spigot: A LITTLE SICK OF POPTARTS deuce: I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY YOU SURE ATE ENOUGH spigot: ONE MORE BOX OF APPLE JACKS AND THEN THAT'S PROBABLY ENOUGH spigot: ARE YOU JENNA JAMESON BECAUSE I AM SERIOUSLY STIFF deuce: I SWEAR I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO LEGAL OBLIGATION TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION

pants: I WAN TOO GO TO JESA pants: I WAN TOO GO WIV CRIEZ pants: I CAN GO WIV JESA EF I AC RELL NIZE

: Groups fighting for drug legalization are also upset about a second portion of the Hatch-Feinstein bill. It creates another felony, punishable by up to 10 years in the federal pen, banning distribution "by any means" of information about "the manufacture or use of a controlled substance" if the recipient might use it to get high. pants: HEY HERE'S A VALUABLE TIP: IF YOU WANT TO GET HIGH, TAKE DRUGS !!! NOW CAN I PLEASE GO TO PRISON OR POSSIBLY SOME MANNER OF UNCHARTED BOOT CAMP EXPERIENCE BRRRRR

spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO SUCK COCKS WITH A -R FOR RECURSIVE AND A -F TO BE FORCED !!! pants: DON'T FORGET THE --QUEER (NOT TELLING WHAT THIS MEANS) spigot: NOT INTERESTED IN THE -S OPTION

pants: THE BONER CRISIS: DAY EIGHT pants: LET'S ALL LICK EIGHT DICKS spigot: ARGGGGG !!! I HAVBE THESE PIECES OF EIGHT !!? spigot: OR I THOUGHT I DID spigot: HOLD spigot: CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP spigot: HURMPH CLATTER CLANK BONK URF SMASH CRASH SON OF A spigot: CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP spigot: OH RIGHT spigot: THE PIECES OF EIGHT spigot: CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP

: WE CAN PRICK & WE CAN POKE : WE CAN FUCK & WE CAN CHOKE : BUT THE BEST PART OF ALL : HUGALUGAH TOILET SEX deuce: I DO NOT SEE THE HALLMARK LOGO ON THE BACK GLHALGH OH MY GOD TRICKED AGAIN

spigot: TO CALCULATE HOW MANY DICKS I'VE LICKED YOU'D NEED ONE OF THOSE HILARIOUS WEB PAGE COUNTERS THAT KEEPS SPINNING AND FLIPPING OUT OF CONTROL WITH THE NUMBERS APPEARING TO RACE UPWARD TO INFINITY BUT REALLY ONLY GETTING TO 999999 BEFORE RESETTING TO 000000 pants: AS THE PACMAN DOES NEAR THE ENDGAME spigot: I DON'T WATCH DOCTOR WHO YOU IDIOT

pants: SOMEONE'S STIFF spigot: THAT SOMEONE IS ME .(plant): COCKS

spigot: FOLKS I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR GODOT FOR A GOOD TEN-FIFTEEN MINUTES

atandt: FREE TIME ON YOUR HANDS? THINK DICK

spigot: ARE BUKAKKE AND PERQUACKY THE SAME TYPE DEAL spigot: RE: ROLLING DICE WITH LETTERS AND TWO HUNDRED FAGS BEATING OFF ON MY FACE deuce: THIS IS NOTHING LIKE BOGGLE pants: LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OW

deuce: IT'S LONELY ON THE TOP (OF THE SHIT PILE)

spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT AN UNLICKED DICK IN THE NORTHWEST CORNER OF MY PANTS !!! deuce: UHUHUHUH pants: * spigot: SOMEONE GET ON THE HORN TO C|NET deuce: HOLY pants: OH BOY deuce: T PANTS SNAP TO IT PRIVATE DICKLICKER pants: I'M ALL OVER THIS STAND BACK EVERYBODY HUGA GLUAG LAUG LAGUAL : TO BE CONTINUED !!!

deuce: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH spigot: IT'S COMPLETELY UNLICKED OVER THERE !!! pants: I TOOK AN OATH TO ROAM NEAR AND FAR, LICKING DICKS deuce: WHAT THE CHRIST spigot: JUST KIDDING IT WAS MY DICK THE WHOLE TIME AND WE'RE ALL OKAY pants: HLUALAHGLAHLHAG

net: WELL I FINISHED THE LEFTOVER PONTILLOS PIZZA AND THE LEFTOVER FROZEN PIZZA AND NOW I'M GOING FOR THE PIZZA-FLAVORED CROISSANT POCKETS AND THEN ANYTHING REMOTELY SHAPED LIKE OR IN THE SAME ROOM AS PIZZA deuce: HONK deuce: I HAVE MY WANG STUCK IN A HOT POCKET SO SNAP IT UP MOTHERFUCKER net: WAS THE HOT POCKET COOKED OR NO deuce: I WILL GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT

pants: ALL TOGETHER NOW pants: HUGAOLGULAGALUGALUG pants: ALGUALGUALGUALGUAGU pants: ALGUALGUALGUALGUALGUALGUALG spigot: CAN WE START AGAIN spigot: ALGUAALGUALGUALGUALGUALGUALALGUALGUALGUALGUALGUALGUAL spigot: SORRY ON YOUR COUNT spigot: ONE spigot: ALGUALGUALGUALGUALGUALG spigot: OKAY SORRY pants: OFFSIDES

spigot: DISCONNECT MY DOODLE-DONG spigot: NOT GOING TO SAY BAD WORDS ANYMORE

deuce: HOW COME TONIGHT THE MOON IS ALL FULL WHEN YESTERDAY THE MOON WAS BRUISED AND REDDISH BEATEN LIKE A DATE GONE ALL BAD pants: IT FELL DOWN THE STAIRS deuce: THE MOON WAS PUSHED

deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE WORST PART ABOUT LICKING DICK ?!?!?! deuce: PISSING BLOOD

deuce: LET'S TALK ABOUT DICKS NOW (BECAUSE WE NEVER TALK ABOUT THAT) atandt: YOU START deuce: MMM DICK atandt: I AGREE atandt: THAT WASN'T MUCH OF A DISCUSSION deuce: IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU'RE BEREFT OF LBHALBHGLBHALBHG deuce: HOLY GOD THERE THEY ARE deuce: GLHBLHGBLHAG BLHGBLGH BLHGBLGHB deuce: THE DICKS, THE DICKS

spigot: TRYING TO FIST MYSELF AND FAILING spigot: TRYING AGAIN spigot: SOME SUCCESS

pants: NOT NOW pants: NOT EVER pants: YOU ARE DEAD TO ME LIKE JUANITO

spigot: FUNNY THING HAPPENED IN THE BIG STALL JUST BEFORE I CAME OUT HERE spigot: SO I'M SUCKIN' AWAY AT THIS GUY'S DICK RIGHT spigot: HE REACHES OVER AND CLOCKS ME SQUARE IN THE CHOPS spigot: SO I CAN'T HELP IT AND I CLAMP DOWN MY QUEER MOUTH spigot: SO I FIGURE I'LL CALM HIM DOWN AND I PULL OUT SOME JUDY BLUME BOOKS pants: FUCKING SHUT UP spigot: JUST A LITTLE IMPROMPTU OPEN READING, FIRST BLUBBER THEN SUPERFUDGE spigot: OKAY LOOKS LIKE MY TIME'S UP pants: GET THE HOOK pants: SHOW US YOUR TITS spigot: I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

dick: T DEUCE WANNA WIFE SWAP ??? BUT SINCE NEITHER ONE OF US IS MARRIED WE CAN JUST SUCK EACH OTHER OFF AND PRETEND deuce: T DICK I DO NOT SEE HOW EITHER OF US COULD LOSE OUT WITH THAT ARRANGEMENT

spigot: SITTING AT THE BUS STOP CALCULATING HOW TO DIVIDE $5.00 IN QUARTERS BETWEEN PORNO BOOTHS & SNICKERS deuce: HOLY CHRISTABLES spigot: ONLY GOD AND THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE KNOW WHAT I'M BEATING OFF TO deuce: ALSO THOSE CIA SPY SATELLITES

hitler: HI GUYS deuce: DAMMIT WHO LET HITLER IN hitler: I'M HITLER hitler: PLAY WITH MY BALLS pants: WE'D BETTER DO AS DER FUHRER SAYS hitler: I'M HITLER atandt: T HITLER DID THAT GUY ONLY HAVE ONE BALL OR WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THAT hitler: I'M HITLER hitler: PLAY WITH MY BALLS hitler: NONE OF YOU ARE LISTENING !!! EINER CLAMPEN !!! I AM LEAVING FOREVER pants: YOU KNOW WHAT ?!?!?!? I DON'T THINK WE'VE SEEN THE LAST OF HIM

pants: WARNING ON LIGHTER: KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN pants: HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO GET HIGH pants: I WILL HOLD THE LIGHTER FOR THEM pants: GROW UP AND PUT THE BONG IN YOUR MOUTH YOU GODDAMN BABY spigot: I'LL REALLY GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO SMOKE DOPE ABOUT

spigot: (A) I LIKE TO SHOOT THINGS spigot: (B) I LIKE TO SMASH THINGS spigot: (C) I LIKE TO SUCK THINGS

spigot: I'D LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS PORN VIDEO spigot: IT'S GOT NO JERKOFFABLE GIRLS spigot: OR HOWEVER YOU SAY IT spigot: I DON'T KNOW ALL THE LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO

deuce: IF THE WHOLE WORLD LICKS DICK IN UNISON WOULD ANYONE BE ABLE TO HEAR IT ?!?? OR WOULD IT ALL JUST CANCEL OUT spigot: I WILL ANSWER THAT QUESTION BY DRAGGING A STACK OF GAY PORN ONTO A DESKTOP PRINTER AND GOING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND deuce: GLHGALHGAHLAG spigot: THE ANSWER IS WE NEED MORE TONER AND SOMETHING IS JAMMED

spigot: HERE IN THE LAB WE'RE DEVELOPING ARTIFICIALLY INTELLIGENT COCKS THAT SUCK THEMSELVES AND ALSO EACH OTHER spigot: HOLY GOD THE EXPERIMENT IS OUT OF CONTROL

ozone: MAESTRO 113# /USR/AMANDA/JT -U ? XC0D610 ZC0D610: UNLOADED CARTRIDGE TO ZLOT ? BUT THE FILEZ WEREN'T OPEN (CV1): UNIT 0, REVISION 3. 8543515 BYTES RECEIVED IN 10.5 SECONDS (461904 BYTES/S) WONDER WHY ALL THE 4.4 DERIVED CLIENTZ GIVE BYTES/S REWRITE NAMED IN PERL /HOME/FTP/MN (ZIMILAR TO /HOME/WEB/NM) DOMAIN NIZ.COM NOT BOUND RPC FAILURE - CLNTUDP_CREATE()(TTYQ10) [ SUN SEP 14 20:18:00 ] THE SOFTWARE INSTALLED ON THIS SYSTEM HAS EXISTING CONFLICTZ. EXIT ALLOWED BECAUZE "RULEZOVERRIDE" OPTION IS ZET. *** LINE NOT FOUND ERR CAUTION! THIZ FILE CONTAINS CRITICAL KERNEL STATS '/PCI01F,4000/IDE03/ATA00.0" 0 "ATA" HPP sunv,HPP PN SUNV.PN ROOTNEX CPU-UNIT ROOTNEX IN-UNIT DBRI SUNV.DBRID SUNV,

spigot: I AM LATE FOR MY 2:00 AM BONGHIT spigot: THAT BONG IS GOING TO BE STEAMED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: SPEAKING OF ORDERING CHINESE FOOD spigot: BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP spigot: FONG DONG NUMBER TWO!!! spigot: CHONG BONG THREE AND FOUR!!!! spigot: LICKY DICKY AND CHOPPY STICKY!!!!! pants: HGLBHGLBURHLBHLRUB spigot: SAY WHAT pants: HALGHALUGHALUBHALUGH spigot: WELL WHAT NUMBER IS THIS

pants: MY FACE spigot: ALL OF OUR FACES, I SUGGEST TO YOU deuce: I SUBMIT THAT SPIGOT HAS AN IMPORTANT BUT SUBTLE POINT

deuce: VICTORIA PARIS spigot: FAT FACE, LEGS, BOOBS, ETC AND BORING SUCKING SKILLS deuce: JEANNETTE LITTLEDOVE spigot: VANISHED deuce: SAVANNAH spigot: DECEASED deuce: ASHLEY GERE spigot: YAWN deuce: ADARA MICHAELS spigot: BORING AND PENTHOUSE deuce: SAMANTHA STRONG spigot: SCREAMY AND FAT deuce: TERI WEIGEL spigot: CONCERNED FOR MY SAFETY

spigot: I LOVE GIRLS EVERYONE spigot: I'M STRAIGHT spigot: HATING FAGS RIGHT NOW spigot: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK spigot: MMM HURR LOVING DICK spigot: NOT GAY PEOPLE deuce: T SPIGOT I GOT YOUR MAIL AND CAME AS SOON AS I COULD

spigot: THE CHILDREN spigot: OUR MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCE spigot: HURRRRRRR LITERALLY TOO FAT TO PUSH AND PUNCH THE JOYPAD

deuce: HEY LET'S GO TO LUNCH TOGETHER AND SLAP EACH OTHER'S DICKS WITH CHOPSTICKS spigot: THAT'S RACIST

spigot: P.S. WHEN I COME BACK I'D LIKE TO BE CALLED "G DOGG" spigot: BECAUSE i WILL HAVE JOINED A GANG spigot: T PANTS WITH SOME VERY ODD TOILET-RELATED INITIATION RITUALS spigot: HOLY CHRISTABLES I'LL BET THEY'RE NOT A GANG spigot: MAN AM I PISSED WITH JIZZY J.

pants: BE GAY WITH ME NOW pants: HERE UNDER THE SINK pants: I WILL TIE A SPONGE TO THE PIPES SO WHEN YOU BANG YOUR HEAD IT HURTS LESS pants: PELEASE DO NOT EAT THE DISHWASHER DETERGENT pants: STOP PLAYING WITH THE ANT POISON AND PAY ATTENTION TO MY ATTENTIONABLES pants: LOVE ME HULRHLGHGLUHGLUHGULG pants: *BONK* OW OW OW pants: I SHOULD HAVE TIED THAT SPONGE UP THERE deuce: SEVEN WAYS FROM DONGDAY

pants: DICKS: DEAD OR ALIVE ??? pants: THEY HAVE THE SAME NUMBER OF ATOMS deuce: BUT YET SOMETHING IS LOST pants: NOT REALLY deuce: YOU ARE HEREBY EJECTED FROM THIS COURSE pants: I COULD TEACH THIS COURSE WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND MY HAULGHULAHULAGH pants: EXCUSE ME I HAVE A CALL COMING IN HUALGHAHLGUAUHLGAG OH GOD

deuce: BUT I JUST TOOK A SHIT HOW COULD I NEED TO GO AGAIN ?? spigot: ACTUALLY CONCENTRATE ON THE TOILET INSTEAD OF READING OR BEATING OFF???? spigot: SHIT WITH YOUR HEART AND NOT JUST YOUR DUMB ASS deuce: SNIFF deuce: BUT deuce: FURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP UNCONTROLLABLE DIARRHEA spigot: NONE OF THAT EVEN MADE IT IN THE BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: MY KITTY

deuce: HOLY CHRIST I'M GAY deuce: HELLO PEOPLE GAY net: GAY? deuce: THAT'S THE ONE net: I'LL TAKE TWO BUCKETS deuce: BRING THEM HERE net: YOU ARE THE DICK CHECKOUT COUNTER???? deuce: BRING THEM HERE net: THIS ONE DOESN'T HAVE A PRICE TAG deuce: BRING IT net: CLEANUP ON AISLE 4

deuce: YOU ARE CLEARLY A CZECH spigot: EMAIL ME IF YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY CRAZY NEW WEB COMIC CALLED BOUNCED CZECHS!!!!!!! spigot: TURNS OUT THE PARAGUAN SUBMILITARY ARE ALL FURRY RACCOON-LIKE CREATURES spigot: WITH OFFBEAT PERSONALITIES!!!!! spigot: BUT DON'T LET THEIR CUTENESS FOOL YOU!!!! spigot: TOON IN EACH MONDAY!!!!!!!!! spigot: THEN MY HEAD IN THE CUISINART pants: LEGGO MY PRICKO

pants: PEDIR-LHE PENIS net: UM PENIS E' DENTRO DE MIM pants: NO'S SOMOS BLOQUEADOS DE ALGUM MODO net: EU OUC,O PASSOS pants: FILIAIS QUE RACHAM NA DISTA^NCIA net: NENHUM HOMEM E' URINATING EM E.U.

deuce: GOODNIGHT SAIGON spigot: GOODNIGHT MOON spigot: GOODNIGHT NUTS spigot: GOODNIGHT FAT GUY AT THE END OF THE spigot: HOLY GOD spigot: MURPH BURPH pants: DO YOU NEED SOME HELP IN THERE spigot: I'M FINE NO pants: NO I THINK YOU REQUIRE ASSISTANCE OF SOME SORT pants: STRUGGLING WITH THE LOCK : TO BE CONTINUED

spigot: SERIOUSLY FINE IN HERE spigot: STAY OUT pants: KNOCKING LOUDLY HERE spigot: RRRRRRRRR spigot: OUT IN A MINUTE pants: YOU REALLY NEED SOMEBODY TO WATCH OVER YOU IN THERE spigot: OCCUPIED pants: THERE'S ROOM FOR ONE MORE COME ON pants: STUPID LOCK spigot: I AM ASKING YOU NICELY TO PLEASE STAY OUT pants: I AM DEMANDING TO BE LET INSIDE PLEASE spigot: OKAY ON THE COUNT OF THREE YOU COME IN AND I GET OUT (NO EYE CONTACT) : TO BE CONTINUED

pants: I'M IMPATIENT AND THEREFORE STANDING ON THE URINAL TO PEEK OVER spigot: DON'T LOOK AT MY GAY LITTLE LEGS pants: OKAY THE URINAL IT TURNS OUT WAS SLICK WITH URINE AND I HAVE FALLEN ON THE COLD TILE spigot: GET YOUR HEAD OUT FROM UNDERNEATH MY PARTITION spigot: I AM TRYING TO USE THE TOILET AND I FIND YOUR ANTICS DISCONCERTING pants: I'M TRYING TO HELP pants: HELP ME UP OFF THE FLOOR AND INTO THE STALL WITH YOU pants: I'M A BIG FAGGY RAG DOLL spigot: NONE OF THIS WAS IN THE BROCHURE

spigot: IS THAT DRUNK FAT MAN IN THE GUTTER HARRY KNOWLES???????? spigot: HEY MAN YOU THE GUY WHO USED TO DO AIN'T IT COOL NEWS ??????????? spigot: WHOMP WHAM JAB BOOT pants: AND NEXT TO HIM WHY IT'S MATT DRUDGE spigot: WHAT A SCOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *FOMP* FLASH spigot: KICK spigot: LICK pants: LOVE spigot: DUH

spigot: SO LET'S ALL GO TO THE MOON AND LICK DICK!!! RIGHT THIS WAY !!! pants: FOLLOWING deuce: YOU KEEP SAYING WE'LL GO TO THE MOON BUT IT NEVER HAPPENS deuce: QUITE FRANKLY I DON'T THINK HUMANKIND (ESPECIALLY FAGS) WILL EVER LEAVE THE ATMOSPHERE pants: THIS AREA IS WHITE AND SPACELIKE BUT IT IS CLEARLY THE JOHN AND NOT THE LUNAR LANDSCAPE YOU PROMISED spigot: HIT SPACE TO THRUST

spigot: STANDING ON A CHAIR AND BEATING OFF, HOPING THE VIBRATIONS RESONATE THROUGH OUR INTERGALACTIC COMMUNITY AND BROADCAST A MESSAGE TO GAY ALIENS (OR AS I LIKE TO CALL THEM "MEXICANS") deuce: NO I THINK YOU'RE THINKING OF THE EUROPEANS (ANYONE FROM EUROPE REALLY) spigot: I THINK I KNOW HOW TO REFER TO THE COCKS I SUCK THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH spigot: (TURNING AROUND AND ERASING SOMETHING IN A NOTEBOOK, SCRIBBLING IN WHATEVER YOU SAID)

deuce: HOW COME I HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED TO JERK OFF TO MY NEW PORN ?!?!?!? A DILEMMA (ALSO AN ANALEMA)

pants: /NICK PIGLET spigot: G G G GHOSTS pants: /NICK PISSPIG