pants: IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD atandt: AMEN pants: FAGGOT-AMERICAN atandt: STRAP ON THE FEEDBAG OR DIE TRYING pants: I CLEAN THE BONG WITH RUBBING ALCOHOL AND WHITE RICE atandt: YOU TRICKED ME INTO SAYING HAPPY NEW YEAR

pants: I'M FADING FAST pants: ALSO SOMEBODY LEFT MY QUEER CHAIR IN THE RAIN pants: NOW MY JEANS ARE SOAKED

atandt: STILL atandt: STILL atandt: STILL atandt: STILL GOBBLING DICK LIKE A FUCKING QUEER TURKEY

spigot: FROM NOW ON PLEASE ADDRESS ME AS EITHER "DOCTOR WHO" OR "THE DOCTOR" spigot: OR JUST "DOCTOR" OR "ZAPHOD" spigot: TELL DEUCE Q*BERT WOULD ALSO BE ACCEPTABLE deuce: T MINUS TWO MINUTES

spigot: HI I'M JOSEPH AND THIS IS MY TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT deuce: OSTRICH NUTS spigot: WHAM BAM BAM BAM HOLY GOD POUNDING MY NUTS INTO THE SAND deuce: "OSTRICH" IS A FUNNY WORD deuce: IT REMINDS ME OF "PUSHING AND PUNCHING YOUR SQUEEZY BOUNCY NUTS INTO ANOTHER WORLD"

pants: THE GUY SAID I COULD FUCK HIS EWOK BUT (AND I QUOTE) NO ROUGH STUFF pants: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS pants: I JUST WANT SOME ACTION

spigot: SIR I AM NOT AN ASHTRAY spigot: OOF URF OKAY MAYBE I AM deuce: ATTITUDE

deuce: I HAVE FALLEN DOWN A WELL AND THERE IS PISS AND BONES DOWN HERE AND I WOULD LIKE TO BE RESCUED NOW THANK YOU spigot: YOU CAN ONLY RIDE THE WELL THING FOR SO LONG

pants: GOODNIGHT MOUTH pants: PUTTING YOU TO REST FOR AN HOUR SO YOU DO NOT OVERHEAT ON ME AGAIN pants: JUST pants: THAT pants: GAY spigot: *PONK* spurting_frog: DUDE THAT'S DATE RAPE call_the_enclave: FIRST POST leafblower: JACK ME OFF WITH THEM TITTIES REAL NICE LIKE OR I'LL CUT YOU BITCH

deuce: THE BIGGEST PERK OF BEING A SERVANT OF THE DEVIL IS YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH GOATS deuce: FREELY

spigot: SLAM THE CAR DOOR ON MY BONER SO I WON'T BE GAY deuce: JERKING

deuce: [REDACTED] deuce: OH deuce: RIGHT

deuce: ANOTHER HUGE POO pants: WHEN WILL MANKIND LEARN pants: WHERE WILL IT END

spigot: YOUR BADGE DOESN'T WORK???? spigot: YOUR PHONE IS GONE???? spigot: THERE'S A DICK IN YOUR FACE???? spigot: DO TELL!!!!!!!

atandt: IS MY HOT DOG READY YET

pants: HELLO pants: HELLO pants: EMERGENCY BEACON GOING OFF LIKE CRAZY HERE deuce: LET HIM GO HE'S NO USE TO US ANYWAY pants: PANTS IS DRIFTING INTO OUTER SPACE deuce: THAT'LL TEACH HIM TO NOT LEARN TO USE A SECURING LINE

.(atandt): ASHAMED OF MY BEHAVIOR (atandt): FORGOT TO PAY FEES TO THE TROLL GUILD atandt: NOW AN EX-TROLL

spigot: MY BONER WAS MANY THINGS TO MANY PEOPLE spigot: BUT REALLY I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT HOW GAY THINGS GET IN STALL 4 pants: HOW GAY IS IT spigot: I MEAN BREAKFAST CANCER OR WHATEVER pants: SO GAY THEY SERVE HAPPY MEALS

hanford: BONEQUEST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY pants: OH SORRY I'LL BE QUIET hanford: STATIC STATIC SHOUTING MORE STATIC MORE PEOPLE SHOUTING hanford: GUNSHOTS AND SCREAMS THEN BREAKING WINDOWS pants: GONNA FUCK ME A ZOMBIE

spigot: AND A ONE AND A TWO AND A spigot: WHO CAN TAKE A BONG / HIT spigot: AND HOLD IT IN HIS HEAD spigot: AND EAT A BOX OF COOKIES / SUCK A COCK / AND GO TO BED pants: THE SPIGOT MAN CAN spigot: THE SPIGOT MAN CAN

spigot: GUESS WHAT'S IN MY FACE RIGHT NOW pants: I GIVE UP spigot: YES YES AND YES pants: DOES IT START WITH C OR D OR Q pants: HOLY GOD YOU'VE DISCOVERED LOST TREASURE

spigot: ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING DROPPING THE WHIPPED CREAM CONTAINER AND ZOING ZOING ZOING ZOING STUMBLING OVER TO THE COUNTER TO HELP A CUSTOMER

hanford: WHERE DID ALL THE ZOMBIES COME FROM pants: I THOUGHT THIS WAS A GAY DISCO

spigot: FORGETTING ABOUT THE PRINT DIALOG AND TAKING A LONG LUNCH spigot: TAKING A LONG SHIT WITH CONTINUED DISREGARD FOR THE PRINT DIALOG deuce: THIS CONCLUDES TODAY'S PRINT DIALOG THEATRE spigot: GOING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND (PRINT DIALOG)

spigot: THAT LAST JERK FELT HURRIED pants: YOU'RE NOT REALLY A DOCTOR spigot: PLEASE STAY SEATED pants: I CAN'T AFFORD THIS PROCEDURE spigot: PLEASE RUB YOUR BALLS ALL OVER THE WEBCAM LIKE WE DISCUSSED pants: THIS MAKES ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE

pants: WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT ZOMBIES COULD CAUSE SO MANY PROBLEMS atandt: GO FIGURE atandt: WHAT WOULD BUTTMAN DO pants: BUNCHED UP IN THE CRAWLSPACE GOING ON 39 HOURS NOW atandt: ZOMBIES LIKE TO PISS AND SHIT EVERYWHERE pants: THAT WAS ME (ALSO I POURED BONGWATER ON THE FLOOR)

pants: FISH CANNOT CARRY GUNS deuce: THAT'S DEBATABLE !!!!!!!!!! pants: I'LL BE TROFF AND YOU BE NROFF AND WE'LL BOTH BE FAGS deuce: I WILL NOT BE A PART OF YOUR SICK LITTLE GAMES !!! pants: T DEUCE TROFF OR NROFF PICK ONE (ODDLY PERSISTANT) deuce: BLHABLHLABHALBHALBLHBALBHL PISSING AND SHITTING HIMSELF FROM THE STRESS

spigot: G G G G deuce: PFFFFTTTTHHHH deuce: I FARTED !!!!!!!!!!!!!! HHAHAHAH FSKH spigot: LOL BRB!!!!!!! : SPIGOT NEVER COMES BACK deuce: ROTFLMAO !!!!!!!

spigot: [REDACTED] ARE......... HIDEOUS deuce: ACCURATE SAMPLING METHODS

pants: WILL YOU SIT WITH ME deuce: ONLY IF YOU WIPE ME (HAVE BEEN NEEDING A WIPE FOR A GOOD THREE HOURS NOW) pants: RAINCHECK deuce: VERY WELL I WILL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER PATRON pants: YOU WON'T HAVE TO LOOK FAR (NOSE AND GLASSES) deuce: IN THE GAHGAHLGAHLGAHLAGHL OF THE GAHLGALHAGHLGAHLGAHLGALHGAHLGA

deuce: I JUST WANT TO BE HELD, MAYBE SHAKEN VIGOROUSLY LIKE A BAD BABY SO IT SCRAMBLES MY BRAINS

spigot: IT'S ALWAYS GIMME GIMME WITH FLOOD VICTIMS spigot: MMM URF SNICKERS spigot: MMMM HOMPH BOMPH THREE MUSKETEERS spigot: HUGHGHGHGHG FISTFULLS OF SKITTLES spigot: BUH MORE TWIX MUH BUH COOKIE CRUNCH

pants: ARE THOSE PEOPLE DEAD

pants: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG pants: I'M A COCKSUCKING COMMANDO STORMING THE COUNTRYSIDE spigot: T PANTS I DON'T LIKE THAT GAY TALK pants: I'M SORRY

pants: I JERK FOR JESUS pants: HE LOVES ME SO pants: SPURTING ON HIS TITS, ETC.

spigot: DO YA KNOW / WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO spigot: DO YA LIKE THE THINGS THAT / LIFE IS SHOWING YOU deuce: ARGLE BARGLE (spigot): CAN I START BY BLOWING YOU deuce: OKAY WE'RE GOING TO STOP THIS PERFORMANCE RIGHT NOW

(deuce): ANAL spigot: SIGNING HERE MEANS THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT DOUBLE ANAL ACTUALLY MEANS TWO IN THERE AT THE SAME TIME

spigot: THERE IS LIFE IN THIS STALL spigot: CLEARLY

pants: DID I MISS ANYTHING? spigot: DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING spigot: LOO LOOLOO LOOLOO LOOLOOLOOLOO

pants: SO SORRY ABOUT THE FATNESS pants: I'LL CLEAN THAT UP LATER deuce: I NEED PORN ALL DAY LONG pants: GOOD THING WE HAVE A PORN TUNNEL

deuce: OKAY HERE I AM pants: WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME pants: I NEED MY OIL CHANGED AND MY BATTERY TERMINALS RECONNECTED pants: IT'S THURSDAY AND THAT'S A BIG NIGHT FOR A FREAKISHLY FAT WHORE SUCH AS MYSELF

spigot: THE TEFLON DONG pants: WHO CALLED FOR A CAB pants: I MEAN BUZZED FOR A FAG deuce: DING DONG

pants: NO COME BACK pants: I'M SORRY pants: I SWEAR I'LL NEVER MAKE FUN OF YOUR INFERIOR DICKSUCKING ABILITIES AGAIN

spigot: HOT BUTTERY COCK WILL BE MY FUCKING SNACK pants: I'M FRIGHTENED spigot: FAT AND WET

spigot: EITHER THIS IS THE JIZZ BUS OR IT ISN'T pants: DING DING spigot: OFER pants: ACTUALLY IT'S MORE OF A SPURT TROLLEY spigot: EITHER WAY I'M STARTING TO THINK I WORE A TIE FOR NOTHING

deuce: BONERS AND BONGS spigot: AND IT TOOK PEPPERIDGE FARM TO PUT THEM TOGETHER

spigot: WHY HAS PANTS BEEN IDLE FOR 650 MINUTES??????? spigot: WHEN HE KNOWS I HAVE A SOUVENIR FOR HIM FROM THE GAY PRIDE PARADE!!!! spigot: THE PUNCHLINE IS: SOMETIMES YOU MAKE A SPLASH AND HIT A SEAL

pants: MY WANG IS TOO SHORT (TUGGING, WEIGHT SET) NOTHING AND WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN deuce: BE SURE TO CURL IT AROUND A STICK AND PULL

pants: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I DON'T KNOW GO READ A NEWSPAPER OR SOMETHING

deuce: JUST THE WAY WE ARE pants: NO deuce: A LOVE STORY pants: MORE LIKE A MOUTH STORY BECAUSE I DON'T SEE THE LOVE UNLESS YOU CALL "SPURT" LOVE pants: T DEUCE ARE YOU FOOD (SERIOUSLY DROOLING)

spigot: CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLONK BONK URF MACE RAPINGS

pants: VICODIN pants: BONGHITS pants: CHOCOLATE MILK pants: AND YES pants: I DO WANT TO FIGHT ABOUT IT

spigot: NUGGGGGGGGG spigot: I GET MEAGAN'S LAW AND COLE SLAW ALL MIXED UP

deuce: THE BIRD'S TAPPING ITS BEAK ON THE WINDOW AGAIN pants: FEED HIM DICK THROUGH THE MAIL SLOT

spigot: FOLKS THERE'S A FRUIT MONSTER IN THE LIVING ROOM pants: AND HE'S MAD pants: IF ONLY WE'D FIXED GLOBAL WARMING IN TIME deuce: YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO ANGER IT MORE BY LABELLING IT spigot: SO CAN SOMEONE INSIDE GOOGLE CHANGE ALL REFERENCES FROM GLOBAL WARMING TO ANAL WARMING (USING BBEDIT OR MS WORD)

deuce: OKAY PEOPLE I JUST SAT AND WATCHED ALL THE WAY THROUGH SPICEWORLD net: THAT MAKES YOU AN OFFICIAL SPICE GIRL BRINGING THE TOTAL UP TO SEVEN

pants: READY??? spigot: OKAY I'LL START spigot: DICKS ON FIRST spigot: BALLS ON SECOND pants: WHO IS WINNING spigot: YOUR FAT FACE ON THIRD pants: THIS IS CONFUSING spigot: SERIOUS VAUDEVILLE HERE IN TOILET FOUR pants: ALL THESE LIFE CHOICES pants: I WISH I HAD SPENT MORE TIME SITTING IN JUNIOR COLLEGE COURSES spigot: THERE REALLY AREN'T ANY WINNERS OR LOSERS spigot: MY COMEDY WOULD BE BETTER IF I HADN'T GOTTEN A D IN INTRO TO FACEPAINT

pants: CHECK IT OUT: YOU HAVE CANCER ............. NOW

pants: EVENTUALLY THE ZOMBIES WILL BREAK THROUGH THE FLOOR AND EAT ME pants: THE ARMY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE HOURS AGO pants: REALLY RATHER CURIOUS WHY (MASTURBATES SELF) I WASN'T CHOSEN TO (SOMEHOW MANAGES TO MASTURBATE SELF AGAIN) ENTER HEAVEN

spigot: YOU AND YOUR BIG SCIENCE WORDS ABOUT POO spigot: HONKING pants: AND THE OSCAR GOES TO

deuce: GLAHGLAHGLAGHLAGHLAGHLA DICKS spigot: IF I AM HEARING YOU RIGHT....... spigot: OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW

spigot: WE LOST THE BROKEN BROOM HANDLE AND WE THREW A KEGGER IN THE BASEMENT

pants: HIM AND THE REST OF NORTH AMERICA pants: SHUT UP pants: NO YOU SHUT UP

net: I THINK THAT'S DON KNOTTS pants: LET'S JACK HIM OFF

spigot: I AM A LOAD OF JIZZ deuce: LET'S GET IT ON deuce: OOOH BABE spigot: MY LOADNESS WAS NOT AN INVITATION TO COMEDY deuce: LET'S GET IT ON

pants: GAGGING ON A FOREIGN OBJECT deuce: I AM THAT FOREIGN OBJECT : Away From Keyboard [X] : Away message: : uncreator antimessiah poison wave universal endbringer : [ OK ] [ Cancel ]

pants: CAN WE LICK IT BUT NOT PRICK IT AND THEREFORE CAUSE IT TO EXPLODE deuce: I AM CONCERNED ABOUT THE RISK OF ICKING ANYTHING pants: T DEUCE THE DICK PIT OPENS IN NINE MINUTES : Away From Keyboard [X] : Close : Away message: : ALL DEAD HERE : [ OK ] [ Cancel ] : PANTS TAPS HIS WATCH deuce: I SEE

spigot: SIR THERE SEEMS TO BE A MISTAKE pants: THIS IS HARDLY THE TIME OR THE PLACE spigot: YOUR DICK HAS FLOPPED OUT OF YOUR PANTS AND INTO MY MOUTH spigot: I'M NOT ZONED FOR THIS spigot: (FINES) : pants > WHY DID YOU RENT A FORKLIFT : pants > oh : spigot > MY DOG SAYS I'M NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO YOU (ONLINE OR OTHERWISE) pants: JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY pants: DROWN HIM IN WARM SUDSY AIDS pants: OR MAKE HIM TALK (WHATEVER) spigot: OKAY I'LL HAVE ONE MORE JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER BUT THEN BED pants: IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN pants: WHY WON'T YOU DISMISS THE DIALOG BOX

spigot: GUESS WHAT I AM: HONK CLONK SLURP BONK DUH spigot: HINT: THE UN-COLA spigot: ANSWER: A HARDON spigot: A HARDON

deuce: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND pants: BUTTERFLY SOUP pants: THE DAMN THINGS WON'T HOLD STILL pants: FURTHERMORE I CAN'T GET THEM CANNED

pants: I'LL BE OSCAR WILDE AND YOU BE OSCAR THE GROUCH spigot: I WISH TO BE OSCAR FROM L.A. LAW spigot: HURRRR I'M THE BIG BOSS LAWYER spigot: OKAY THERE WAS NO OSCAR

pants: IT TURNS OUT THE SO-CALLED DUCK WAS ACTUALLY A DRAGON AND NOW I OWE CHILD SUPPORT hanford: ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT ATARI 2600 ADVENTURE

spigot: (AHEM) spigot: LET ME BE CLEAR ABOUT WHY I BEAT OFF THE CANCER PATIENT spigot: HE WAS GOING TO DIE ANYWAY

pants: MIGHTY FUCKING FUNNY SIR pants: PLEASE DECLAW ME I AM GOING TO HURT MYSELF AND OTHERS deuce: WHAT pants: YOU HEARD ME

spigot: DO OTHER COUNTRIES THINK IT'S FUNNY TO PLACE [UNITED STATES] IN ITS ALPHABETICAL POSITION IN A COUNTRY POP-UP INSTEAD OF AT INDEX NUMBER 1 WHERE IT BELONGS NO MATTER WHAT deuce: PARENTS JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND

deuce: IF SOMEONE HERE COULD SUCK MY DICK I'D APPRECIATE IT deuce: ANYONE SERIOUSLY ANYONE deuce: OBVIOUSLY I MEAN YOU pants: OFER

pants: PORN AND DICK spigot: ABSOLUTELY IN THAT ORDER pants: HAVE WE GOT A CONSENSUS HERE pants: IT'S DICK WE'RE ALL WORRIED ABOUT spigot: NOT ME

pants: HEY RUBE pants: WHAT'S THE RUMPUS pants: IS THIS SEAT TAKEN pants: G-G-G-G-GHOSTS pants: T PANTS HOW MANY PANTS pants: HULK SMASH .(pants): IS THIS THING EVEN ON pants: WHAT IF I NEVER COME DOWN pants: NOT JUST THE RUMP pants: SO DIZZY (pants): ANY PORT IN A STORM pants: COCKS

spigot: STOP deuce: IN THE NAME OF GLHGHG spigot: MY PTLHJG deuce: BEFORE YOU GHGLGHGH spigot: R E S P E C PTLPGH

pants: IT'S THE SEVEN ENDLESS NOT THE NINE ENDLESS YOU HAVE SEVEN PLUS A JERKING PIG AND A SPIDER-MAN AND THEY SHOULD NOT BE THERE

spigot: HERE COMES JIZZY MCPISSFACE WITH HIS BEACH TOYS spigot: HEY GANG JIZZY MCPISSFACE HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT WATER SAFETY spigot: SUPPOSE SOMEONE DUMPS A BUCKET OF SAND UPSIDEDOWN ON YOUR HEAD WITH ONLY A SMALL HOLE WHERE YOUR MOUTH SHOULD GO spigot: THEN A HUGE BLACK DICK CHOKES YOU UP GOOD AND BLUE spigot: PUCKER UP BUTTERCUP spigot: I'M GOING TO CARVE UP YOUR HONKY ASS spigot: THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY

pants: HAVE WE TRIED PUTTING THE FOOD TUBE IN HER CUNT

deuce: BRAWWWK pants: YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM SOME SEEDS OR A PEANUT deuce: HE'LL JUST CRAP THEM OUT EVENTUALLY (MY STUDIES SHOW)

pants: WILL GOTHS PROUDLY SERVE THEIR COUNTRY pants: WAIT WAIT WAIT pants: OKAY NOW ALL THE PEPPERED SALAMI IS GONE

deuce: MY CHURCH CLOTHES pants: SOILED, TORN, STAINED pants: WE SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A SEWING MACHINE INSTEAD OF CRACK

deuce: C-X ` pants: YOU'RE A POWER USER deuce: IN EMACS THAT MEANS FIND NEXT ERROR AND THEN SUCK DICK pants: BUT YOU CAN'T FIND THE JERKCITY KEY pants: MAN YOU SUCK: FIND THAT FUCKING KEY AND YOU'LL BE THE KING

deuce: NOW FUCK OFF FATTY pants: :Q deuce: NOT VI FAGGOT pants: :Q!

deuce: I BELIEVE THIS WILL BE THE LAST BEER pants: YET STILL pants: OH HOLY GOD pants: THAT'S A GOOD ONE pants: NICE AND STURDY deuce: I BELIEVE THIS WILL BE THE LAST BEER pants: YET STILL pants: OH HOLY GOD pants: THAT'S A GOOD ONE pants: NICE AND STURDY

deuce: DON'T TRY TO GET OUT OF THIS BY SHOWING ME YOUR BALLS pants: DUCKS ARE STEALING MY PENIS deuce: OKAY I'M GOING TO EXIT THIS CONVERSATION NOW pants: I AM BIG LIKE TUNA CAN pants: NUGGGGGGGH HULK WEAR CHAPS, VISIT BARS WITH FUNNY NAMES AND NO WINDOWS deuce: STILL OUT OF THE CONVERSATION

pants: YANKING AND PULLING pants: WAITING FOR THE PRIZE pants: WHAT WILL I WIN THIS TIME

deuce: WHO ARE YOU pants: PANTS WHO LOVES DICK MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF pants: OR PRESIDENT NIXON I'M NOT SURE deuce: BUT NIXON IS DEAD pants: THEN I'M PANTS

pants: YOU ARE THE SUNSHINE OF MY LIFE deuce: I DO NOT THINK THAT I AM pants: I'M GOING TO HUMP YOU UNTIL YOU BELIEVE

spigot: CAN WE JUST SAY I HAVE COMBINATION SKIN AND LEAVE IT AT THAT spigot: HELLO spigot: LOOKING FOR GAY GAGS AND QUEER ZINGERS spigot: SENSING A LITTLE JUDGEMENT FROM YOU HOMOPHOBES spigot: HOMOPHOBES ARE WORDS WHICH SOUND THE SAME BUT ARE SPELLED G-A-Y

pants: MEANWHILE BACK IN THE DARKEST REGIONS OF AFRICA: HUALGHULAGHLAG pants: (DICKLICKING TO DRUMBEATS) pants: HUALG HUALG UHAGULG HAGAH GLHALUUH LUGHAL UHGULA LHGAL UAGHLU AAHGA LHAL BRRRRR DRILLING NOISES BLAGUBHLABGLABG

pants: IN THE BEGINNING pants: THE LORD MADE THE EARTH pants: THE HEAVENS THE HILLS AND THE SEAS pants: THEN HE CREATED THE SUN AND THE STARS pants: AND HIS ROTTEN SON SIR FAGSALOT CAME DOWN HERE TO SUCK COCK deuce: THE END pants: SO WE STUCK HIM UP ON A POST OR SOMETHING pants: ACTUALLY HE ALREADY CAME BACK ONCE pants: BUT WE BURNED HIM UP AT WACO (THAT'LL TEACH HIM)

deuce: FOR GOD'S SAKE THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF GAYNESS WHILE I WAS GONE pants: QUITE A BIT IN FACT (WIPES CHIN)

deuce: OPEN DOOR pants: THE DOOR IS OPEN deuce: SUCK DICK pants: THE DICK IS BEING SUCKED deuce: THIS INTERACTIVE FICTION SUCKS pants: YOU WIN! SCORE: 1/1

deuce: WHO WANTS TO LICK MYD ICK : DEUCE CONVENIENTLY IGNORES HIS TYPO deuce: ANYONE

spigot: LONELY AND SAD spigot: AND ONLY DICK WILL HELP spigot: BONK BONK spigot: GUIDE ME I'M BLIND spigot: BONK DONK POKING

spigot: IS THERE SOMETHING HAPPENING ON A TINY SPECK OF DIRT ISLAND HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD????? BECAUSE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS COFFEE CAKE!!!!! deuce: LET'S GET BACK TO THE REGION BETWEEN MY BALLS AND ASSHOLE

pants: WHO WANTS TO BE GAY AT 300 BAUD (ALSO 1200, 9600, 14400, 28800, 56K)

deuce: TWO LARGE OBVIOUSLY GAY BATS SOARED THROUGH THE NIGHT SKIES, THEIR BATLY WINGS FLIPPING AND FLAPPING AND FLYING AROUND WITH RADAR spigot: BUT spigot: PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK I CAN ONLY WRITE ABOUT ONE THING deuce: BUT WHAT

pants: POKING THE INSIDES WITH A STICK pants: WATCHING THEM SHIVER pants: THEN EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT

pants: HOW MANY OF US WOULDN'T BE HERE IF IT WASN'T FOR RAPE atandt: ARE YOU OR pants: SEX WITH THINGS THAT DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX BACK atandt: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN pants: LIKE THE TOASTER atandt: I DIDN'T FUCK IT I JUST CAME ON ITS LEG

spigot: COMPUTER .......... spigot: MAKE ME POPULAR pants: SPIGOT THE BEAR WILL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THESE MESSAGES

deuce: SANTA CLAUS IS HUMPING MY GOWN pants: HE'S HUMPING WHAT'S UNDER IT ANYWAY

deuce: THE BEST PART ABOUT UNIX IS THAT SPELLED BACKWARD IT READS "NAZI"

spigot: I ALSO SUSPECT THAT NOBODY AT VISCERA IS REALLY GAY AFTER ALL deuce: KISS THE BUNNY ON THE NOSE

spigot: I NEED A RAPE KIT pants: THE GOOD KIND ???? pants: MAKE YOUR OWN: DUCT TAPE, BALL GAG, SCISSORS, CEMENT MIX, STEEL DRUM, JARS OF URINE pants: (LOOKS INTO CAMERA) WHAT'S IN YOUR RAPE KIT, AMERICA deuce: DO THE JARS NEED TO BE PREFILLED

spigot: DOES ANYBODY HERE KNOW HOW TO HOOK MY QUICKCAM UP TO MY ROOMMATE

spigot: WHOEVER JIZZED ALL OVER MY WHEELCHAIR I HOPE YOU GET IN TROUBLE spigot: I'M STAYING UP PAST MY BEDTIME TO SUCK DICK AND NOBODY'S HERE spigot: MAKES ME WONDER WHY JERKCITY EVEN EXISTS

deuce: THE SILENT BEATOFF TRAIN pants: AND THE PARTICULARLY NOISY BEATOFF TRAIN

spigot: HERE'S A LINK TO OTHER DUMPY FAT GIRLS!!!!!!!

: picture of pants on the wall of a home

pants: I, LESS ENTERTAINING THAN THE CHEAPEST TAMIGOCHI deuce: BUT MORE WILLING spigot: CAUSE IF YOU LICK MY DICK spigot: MY ACHEY BREAKY DICK deuce: FURRRRRP spigot: HELLO spigot: BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP deuce: OPERATOR HE HUNG UP spigot: CAUSE IF YOU LICK MY D spigot: HELLO spigot: HELLO

pants: WAKE UP PEOPLE pants: MY BALLS ARE GLOWING SOFTLY deuce: MAKING A MESS

spigot: GET THE HELL OFF MY DONG (PUNCHING YOU) spigot: HURRR BEING CHASED BY TWO BIG BALLS DOWN A HILL spigot: WHERE CHASED = GETTING TEABAGGED I.E. YOUR NUTS ARE SLAPPING MY FOREHEAD

pants: FALLING FROM THE TRADE CENTER deuce: SHOOTING YOU AS YOU FALL SO THAT WE CAN MAKE A SOCRATIC FIRST-SEMESTER LEGAL QUESTION BECOME FACT

net: DICKS ON IN AROUND OVER UNDER NEAR ME net: AND THE OTHER PREPOSITIONS TOO deuce: THERE ARE LOTS YOU'LL HAVE TO GO THROUGH THEM ONE AT A TIME net: DICKS ABOUT ME net: DICKS BESIDES ME net: DICKS INSIDE ME net: DICKS SINCE ME net: DICKS ABOVE ME net: DICKS ACROSS ME net: DICKS AS NATIONAL HERITAGE net: DICKS AFTER ME net: DICKS AGAINST ME net: DICKS ALONG ME net: DICKS AMONG ME net: DICKS AROUND ME net: DICKS AT ME net: DICKS BEFORE ME net: DICKS BEHIND ME net: DICKS VS. COMMON SENSE net: DICKS BENEATH ME net: DICKS BESIDE ME net: DICKS BETWEEN ME net: DICKS BEYOND ME net: DICKS BUT ME net: DICKS BY ME net: DICKS CONCERNING ME net: DICKS DESPITE ME net: DICKS CRAWLING WITH AIDS net: DICKS DOWN ME net: DICKS DURING ME net: DICKS EXCEPT ME net: DICKS EXCEPTING ME net: DICKS FOR ME net: DICKS FROM ME net: DICKS IN ME net: DICKS INTO ME net: DICKS WITHOUT BORDERS net: DICKS OVER ME net: DICKS PAST ME net: DICKS REGARDING ME net: DICKS ROUND ME pants: AWWW YEAH pants: GO TEAM net: DICKS THROUGH ME deuce: MAN WHAT A FAG net: DICKS THROUGHOUT ME net: DICKS TILL ME net: DICKS TO ME : NET TAKES A DRINK OF WATER net: DICKS TOWARD ME net: DICKS UNDER ME net: DICKS UNDERNEATH ME net: DICKS UNTIL ME net: DICKS UP ME net: DICKS UPON ME net: DICKS WITH ME pants: HIGH SCORE!!! ENTER YOUR INITIALS net: DICKS WITHIN ME

pants: THAT WHICH GETS DICKS INTO MY MOUTH IS MY FRIEND pants: THEREFORE AHABJASBF DIUASKDFBLKAF NAOILSFH BABLAB ALABLABALHAG deuce: PAY ATTENTION HERE PEOPLE pants: SERIOUSLY: LIFE IN THE BIG CITY (WITH PANTS)

pants: SORT ME deuce: T PANTS WHAT METHOD OF SORTING WOULD YOU LIKE deuce: T PANTS YOU CAN SELECT BETWEEN A MERGE SORT, SHELL SORT, QUICK SORT, OR HORRIBLE PAINFUL RAPE SORT pants: T DEUCE A BUBBLE SORT OF MY BALLS WILL DO NICELY

atandt: THE MISSIONARY POSITION ozone: ON AND ON ABOUT "LOWERING HIM INTO /DEV/NULL AND NOT LETTING GO THIS TIME" atandt: EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT hanford: FANBOY SOUNDS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE FUNBOY hanford: ARE YOU SURE THIS IS LEGAL atandt: JEFFREY!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU JEFFREY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deuce: GOES ON FOR HOURS pants: A FILLIBUSTER EH pants: THIS CALLS FOR ... COCKSUCKING deuce: GLHGALH GAHLAGLH GALHGAL HAGLHGAHAG

spigot: IS THIS WHERE I CAN SIGN UP FOR THE GAY GAMES spigot: HOW ABOUT THE AIDS WALK spigot: I BROUGHT A PATCH FOR THE BIG QUEER QUILT OR WHATEVER spigot: CAN I JUST SIT HERE THEN IF I'M NOT GAY spigot: ALL RIGHT I'M GAY spigot: THIS IS AN AIDS BRUISE RIGHT HERE, I SWEAR TO GOD spigot: I GOT IT WHILE SUCKING DICK spigot: I HIT MY HEAD

deuce: SO WHY CAN'T YOU SHUFFLE CARDS (atandt): CONSTIPATION deuce: THAT TOTALLY SUCKS DUDE atandt: I LEAK WHEN I SHUFFLE deuce: IS IT MOSTLY AIR OR MOSTLY LIQUID atandt: BUT NOTHING BIG COMES OUT

spigot: I'M AN ULTIMATELY POINTLESS EXERCISE IN PISSING AND PUNCHING deuce: T SPIGOT I DISAGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY deuce: T SPIGOT THAT MEANS "WITH ALL MY HEART"

spigot: WOULD YOU NOT NOT LIKE TO NOT UNLICK A DICK YOU DIDN'T LICK??!?!?!!? spigot: ANSWER ME

pants: I'M SOME MANNER OF GAY DINGUS deuce: I DON'T KNOW THAT WORD deuce: "GAY" spigot: UH deuce: WHAT DOES IT MEAN spigot: I USED TO THINK IT WAS AN ADJECTIVE BUT NOW I SEE HOW IT CAN ALSO BE A BIG FAT NOUN RIGHT HERE IN MY FACE AND DESK (PLEASE CALL MY MANAGER ASAP)

pants: BUNNIES LIKE DICK pants: WELL THEY SEEMED TO pants: NOW THEY'RE BURST

pants: WILL I FINALLY GET LAID IN HELL deuce: YES deuce: YES YOU WILL pants: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: AND IF WE GO TO HEAVEN, MEET ME AT JOHN WAYNE deuce: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PASSING OUT

spigot: SIRS spigot: I SWEAR I BOTTLED UP ALL MY URINE spigot: PUT DOWN THE STICK spigot: I CAN BE QUIET spigot: PLEASE CALL MY BBS

deuce: I'M NOT SEXIST IT'S JUST THAT ALL WOMEN ARE INFERIOR

spigot: SO I'LL SAY GOODBYE TO EVERYONE IT WAS REAL FUN HANGING OUT BUT OBVIOUSLY I DON'T BELONG HERE spigot: LEAVING NOW spigot: SERIOUSLY PRACTICALLY ALL THE WAY OUT THE DOOR spigot: PUTTING ON MY JACKET FOR REAL spigot: HI GANG I'M SOME OTHER GUY NAMED SPIGOT (NOT THE SAME GUY FROM BEFORE)

pants: YOU THINK SO HUH pants: IF YOU CALL THE COPS SO HELP ME GOD I'LL FUCK YOU INSIDE OUT AND PUT YOUR BODY IN A DRUM pants: VALHALLA I AM COMING

deuce: THE GAG FACTOR pants: NOT A FACTOR

spigot: IF ONLY THERE WERE SOMEONE HERE TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE spigot: AND KICK ME IN THE NUTS spigot: AND TELL ME I'M PRETTY

spigot: WHERE ARE MY BALLS spigot: I HAD TWO BALLS IN MY TROUSERS AND NOW THEY spigot: SEEM TO HAVE "MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED". WOULD spigot: WHOEVER TOOK THEM *PLEASE* RETURN THEM AS THEY spigot: ARE NEEDED FOR TESTING. CC:ALL

deuce: PUTTING MY BALLS IN YOUR MOUTH AND CHEWING IS TANTAMOUNT TO AN INSULT

pants: BRRRRRRRRRRRRR DRILLING DOWN BRRRRRRRRRRR deuce: T PANTS AND NO POO DOES NOT COUNT bung: T PANTS LET US KNOW WHEN YOU STRIKE DICK deuce: TO MAKE JEWELRY, ETC. bung: WE CAN SMELT THE DICK ORE bung: I WAS THINKING OF TOKENS FOR THE GLORY HOLE MACHINES

pants: FEED ME HOSTESS PRODUCTS pants: AND/OR LITTLE DEBBIE deuce: INSTALLING NT SERVICE PACK 3 (SO I CAN PLAY QUAKE II FULLSCREEN) spigot: HOMPH HOMPH LEMON HOMPH HOMPH COULD BE APPLE HOMPH HOMPH COCONUT

pants: I'M AN AMERICAN pants: AND I VOTE deuce: SOMETIMES FOR PEANUTS pants: FOR DICK USUALLY pants: DICK AND PEANUTS FOR ME, PLEASE

spigot: THAT CRAZY GUY! HE SURE LOVES HAVING HIS DICK IN A WARM PLACE, WHETHER YOU'RE A HIGHLY PAID WHORE OR A RETARDED ANIMAL.

deuce: THE BEST HOUR EVER (WELL FOR YOU) deuce: FOR THE REST OF US IT IS AN UNCOMFORTABLE, UNPLEASANT HOUR pants: HE MAKES THESE NOISES AND HIS FACE SCRUNCHES UP AND THEN HE SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT AN EARLY MEETING AND LEAVES deuce: NOT BECAUSE WE ARE BEING MOUTHRAPED BUT BECAUSE WE ARE FORCED TO WATCH

spigot: CLEAR spigot: ^C spigot: ?BREAK IN 20 spigot: ]LIST spigot: 10 REM **** JERKCITY **** spigot: 20 REM ** REALLY CRANKING THE MORRISSEY ** spigot: 30 REM ** CAPTAIN CRUNCH TRIED TO FUCK ME ** spigot: CRACKED BY SPIGOT THE BEAR

pants: YOU HEARD ME: I SAID CAPTAIN CRUNCH TRIED TO FUCK ME

pants: MY KNUCKLES HURT pants: I SHOULD NEVER HAVE GONE OUT TO PARTY WITH MUPPETS pants: THANKS TO PARIS THE DIPSHIT I HAD TO CHANGE MY PHONE NUMBER

uncredited woman: ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA, MY NAME IS JUST "GIRL" deuce: SOMEONE PUNCH HER IN THE FUCKING MOUTH pants: AS A SEX OFFENDER I HOPE TO SOMEDAY GROW MY OWN VICTIM deuce: NOW WORK THE KIDNEYS pants: THIS STORY ALWAYS ENDS WITH HER FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS

spigot: MY DOG KEPT STARING AT ME WHILE I BEAT OFF SO I HAD TO GIVE HER A BISCUIT

ozone: FUCK YOU ozone: YEAH THAT'S RIGHT spigot: WHERE IS MY PULITZER PRIZE FOR DICK JOKES

deuce: IN A WORLD FULL OF PRICKS...... deuce: I AM A GAY deuce: PHYSICISTS CALL IT GAY SELF-INDUCTION pants: I CALL IT LOVE

ozone: SEE FIGURE 1 deuce: MOM SAID NOT TO TRUST YOU WHEN YOU GET GROPY deuce: OR IS IT GROPEY deuce: AT ANY RATE YOU'RE SERIOUSLY DOING IT NOW

deuce: Y = M X + (ARIA GIOVANNI) deuce: ALSO POSSIBLY Y = (JULIE MORRISON) X + B

pants: WHY THIS CALLS FOR A SONG pants: I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW pants: THE BALLS ARE GONE pants: WAIT NO THERE THEY ARE pants: CURSED THINGS uncredited woman: PLEASE GIVE ME A NAME

deuce: GHGALH GALHGLHGHGA TIME DILATION deuce: IF I MOVE REALLY FAST AND I SEE MY OWN DICK GETTING A BONER VERY SLOWLY pants: OH YOU GOTS TO LIKE THE FREAKY ONES

deuce: WHO WANTS TO PLAY THE CUNT GAME pants: SHOOT THEM ALL deuce: MY ASS IS BLEEDING CHECK IT OUT (DROP PANTS, TURN AROUND, MOON) pants: OR WAVE IT AROUND A LITTLE deuce: DINGALINGALING pants: HELL JUST SHOW 'EM IT'S TUCKED INTO YOUR BELT

pants: CALLING THE PROSTITUTE BEFORE BREAKFAST BUT AFTER COFFEE pants: AND NO I'M NOT GONNA BRUSH MY TEETH FOR A WHORE pants: FRANKLY, YOU STUPID COCKSUCKERS ARE LUCKY I'M WEARING OLD SPICE

spigot: I'M THE MINISTER OF SILLY WALKS - URRFF HURRRG I'M A FAT DORK spigot: JOHN CLEESE WAS MY FAVORITE, NEXT WAS TOM BAKER spigot: I LIKED THE MOVIE ABOUT KNIGHTS spigot: I'D ALSO LIKE TO SUCK FAT FLOPPY DICK UNTIL MY SINUSES CLEAR UP spigot: OKAY BUT TRY TO GET IT ALL OVER MY FACE

pants: NOTHING BUT CLEAR SKIES, GAYNESS pants: I LOVE IT pants: MMMMM MMMMMMM KISSING THEIR LITTLE HEADS MMMMM

spigot: WHAT THE pants: YOU PEOPLE SICKEN AND DISGUST ME spigot: YOU AND YOU pants: BUHHHHHHH QUEER spigot: OUT

spigot: THE GUY IN STALL ELEVEN DOESN'T MAKE CHANGE spigot: THAT'S HIS POLICY AND HE'S QUITE FIRM ABOUT IT spigot: WHICH I CAN RESPECT spigot: ALSO NO CANADIAN COINS spigot: HE HAD A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT

pants: I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM ANOTHER TIME pants: IT SAYS pants: "YOUR FINGERS ARE SAFE, DON'T WORRY" pants: DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS pants: COME WITH ME TO THE SHED

spigot: LOOKING FOR MEXICAN QUEERS IN WALNUT CREEK ASAP (atandt): I STEPPED ON ONE spigot: QUE? atandt: SORRY atandt: WAIT WAIT COME BACK I THOUGHT YOU SAID LEPRECHAUNS

pants: IS THIS GRAND THEFT AUTO OR ANIMAL CROSSING ???? EITHER WAY I CONFUSE IT WITH MANHUNT AND TRY TO SLOWLY STRANGLE YOU WITH A BAG pants: MY MINIGAME OF "SMOOSH THE PEOPLE I THINK ARE PROSTITUTES THEN DRIVE AWAY" SOON BECOMES "RUN FROM THE POLICE" AND MAN ALIVE I CAN DO THAT FOR HOURS pants: TOO MUCH COFFEE (A LITTLE DIZZY, A LITTLE TIRED)

: PANTS FINDS SHIT IN HIS BEARD pants: OH WOW MAN pants: I WONDER HOW LONG THAT'S BEEN GOING ON (CHECKS POCKETS, FINDS ENOUGH CHANGE TO BUY COFFEE, WANDERS AROUND DOWNTOWN FOR A WHILE, MASTURBATES IN THE GREYHOUND RESTROOM EVEN AFTER ASSURING SECURITY I WOULD NOT, RETURNS HOME TO FIND NO MESSAGES)

spigot: THE DONG WHISPERER deuce: I THINK I DESERVE A **BLOWJOB** spigot: OKAY THE DONG SHOUTER deuce: I'VE SERVED MY COUNTRY WELL AND I LIKE **BLOWJOBS** spigot: OKAY THE DONG LICKER deuce: IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR DONG IS IT

pants: IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEBODY SUCKS A COCK pants: THEN IT'S BUSINESS deuce: SERIOUS BUSINESS deuce: THEN THE GAMES REALLY BEGIN pants: THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE DOWNTOWN spigot: DOWN / TOWN

dick: I'M PRETENDING MY MOUTH ISN'T FOR SALE (BUT IT REALLY IS) deuce: I'M KNOWING IT IS

spigot: WITH THESE BRIGHT ORANGE PANTS AND THIS FLASHY SIREN ATOP MY HEAD AND THESE ROLLER SKATES I CAN TRAVEL FROM TOWN TO TOWN AS THE COCKMOBILE spigot: WOOO HOOO DING DING DING DING WAKE UP AMERICA OOF URF OW OKAY NO PROBLEM DING DING DING DING WHAM WHAM BAM BAM CLONK BONK OKAY LITTLE DIZZY HERE WITH THE SKATES spigot: FUCK THIS

spigot: YAY WE'RE TOGETHER spigot: FUCKING BE GAY WITH ME OR GET OUT deuce: I'M NOT GAY (REALLY) spigot: THAT IS QUITE FRANKLY TOO MUCH URINE FOR ONE FACE

spigot: I'M ON TOP OF THE DONKEY NOW spigot: COCKS AND NUTS AND BALLS AND DICKS spigot: SPLASH MY JIZZ ON STUPID CHICKS spigot: LET'S SING A SONG A BONERS, A SONG A QUEERS spigot: JERKING / JERKING spigot: ALL FALL DOWN spigot: GETTING DOWN OFF THE DONKEY

pants: SO ANYWAY I CLONED A DICK AND LICKED IT pants: T DEUCE LAWS NO deuce: T PANTS WAS IT JUST LIKE THE ORIGINAL ?!?!?!? pants: T DEUCE EVERY DICK A LITTLE DIFFERENT (EVEN EXACT COPIES, AS IT TURNS OUT)

deuce: IF I JERK OFF IN THIS CUP WILL IT SAVE THE LITTLE SQUIGGLIES pants: ARE YOU A GOOD PERSON deuce: I'M GOOD SOMETIMES pants: THEN THE SQUIGGLIES WILL STAY WITH YOU FOREVER AND EVER deuce: THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD (BEATING OFF WITH SANDPAPER)

pants: WHY DO I HAVE TO CALL YOU GNU/DEUCE FROM NOW ON deuce: BECAUSE (TIGHTENING NOOSE)

deuce: I'M LEARNING THE TEACHINGS OF JESUS CHRIST deuce: I'M A VOLCANO deuce: BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR deuce: MAYBE THAT WOULD BE FUNNIER IN LOWERCASE deuce: i'm a volcano deuce: brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr deuce: SEE I WAS RIGHT

pants: THIS IS P.A.N.T.S. REQUESTING IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE pants: CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME pants: KAFF KAFF KAFF COCKPIT FILLING WITH SMOKE KAFF KAFF OKAY LET'S START OVER GO BACK TO THE PART WHERE I REQUEST ASSISTANCE (TOP OF PAGE 4) AND... THIS IS P.A.N.T.S. REQUESTING IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE

spigot: FOLKS I'M A PROFESSIONAL DICKLICKER ON A CLOSED COURSE (DO NOT ATTEMPT)

net: T DEUCE I'M PRODDING YOU WITH A BACKDOOR/SUBSEVEN TROJAN HORSE deuce: T NET COULD YOU MOVE IT AROUND MORE BECAUSE I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING IN MY CAVERNOUS ASS net: THAT'S STEALTH, BABY deuce: NO IT'S THAT I'M WELL USED net: NOW THAT I'VE BOTH ARMS AND A TOASTER OVEN UP THERE I REALIZE THAT'S THE CASE deuce: I DO NOT LIE ABOUT SUCH THINGS EXCEPT WHEN I FEEL LIKE LYING WHICH IS MOST OF THE TIME

spigot: MY ASS AND NUTS spigot: OUR MOST VALUABLE RESOURCE spigot: DISAPPOINTED BY THE RICH MILK CHOCOLATE BUT DELIGHTED BY THE NOUGAT spigot: WAIT A MI spigot: MUH

pants: WARNING: BAD PS SYNTAX, PERHAPS A BOGUS '-'? SEE HTTP://PROCPS.SF.NET/FAQ.HTML pants: WHICH ONE OF YOU DUMPY BEARDO DUMBSHITS FUCKED UP PS pants: MAYBE YOUR FREAKISHLY BACKWARDS THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY CAN'T AFFORD DASHES BUT HERE IN ***AMERICA*** IT IS HOW WE PASS OUR ARGUMENTS

deuce: TELL SPIGOT MAMA I'M IN LOVE WITH A GANGSTA spigot: T DEUCE SCRUB WITH HOT SOAPY WATER UNTIL YOU'RE GAY

hanford: WHAT PART OF WE DON'T HAVE THE BUDGET FOR A JERKCITY PODCAST DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND pants: BUT THE BUNNIES KEEP DYING hanford: "THEME TO SPIGOT THE BEAR" pants: THOSE THAT DON'T DIE ARE FORCED TO WORK hanford: NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR A JERKCITY PODCAST pants: THEY ARE TERRIBLE AT SORTING CARROTS

deuce: I'M A UNIX DOMAIN SOCKET deuce: FUCK MY DRY CUNT

spigot: WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO IS DIRECT THE COCKS INTO MY MOUTH AND THEREBY ELIMINATE THE MIDDLE MAN (OR MEN, OR GROUP OF BLACK MEN, OR THE INTERNET) deuce: DON'T YOU MEAN "TAKING OUT THE TRASH" AND "CLEANING THE WINDOWS"

deuce: IT'S LIKE I'M A HOOKER bung: HOW CHEAP (LOOKING AT A PILE OF CHANGE IN MY HAND) deuce: A CHEAP CHEAP HOOKER deuce: CHEAPER THAN YOU WOULD IMAGINE bung: PUTTING THE QUARTERS BACK IN MY POCKET

pants: LOWER ME INTO THE DICK PIT PLZ pants: COME BACK NEXT WEEK AND CHECK ON ME pants: SERIOUSLY JUST GO pants: I'LL BE FINE HERE pants: THIS TIME I BROUGHT PLENTY OF SINGLES (FOR TIPS)

hanford: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SHOWING UP TO WORK DRUNK pants: A LITTLE STONED TOO hanford: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE pants: I MISTOOK A BUICK FOR A COMPETING MALE PROSTITUTE AND THERE WAS A FIGHT hanford: HAVE YOU BEEN UP ALL NIGHT TOO THEN pants: YOU SHOULD SEE THE OTHER GUY

spigot: IF I CLICK ANOTHER LIGHT-BROWN-HAIRED GIRL PIC WHICH YIELDS A DOPEY COW-EYED RIOT GRRRL STARING OFF INTO SPACE I'M GOING TO LICK MY OWN DICK spigot: GURF BLURF CHOKING MYSELF DOWN spigot: LIFE'S RICH PAGEANT

net: ONCE AGAIN, I MUST REPORT THAT THERE IS A GAY MAN IN MY PANTS deuce: DO I KNOW HIM (OR HER) net: YES DEFINITELY net: PERHAPS YOU COULD GET IN HERE WITH US AND TALK HIM OUT OF HERE deuce: IS IT ME (I'M A LITTLE OUT OF IT RIGHT NOW) : To be continued tomorrow...

net: I SUPPOSE I COULD LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE AND SAY HEY FREE FAG deuce: THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION IS STARTING TO COME INTO FOCUS NOW deuce: IT'S YOUR OWN DICK ISN'T IT net: LET ME CHECK net: YES (YES IT IS)

spigot: SUPER DUPER spigot: DUM DEE DOO LICKING IT spigot: RE: OUR ARRANGEMENT

spigot: IF I TAKE ALL THE LETTERS IN "JERKCITY" AND MIX THEM UP AND TAKE SOME OUT AND PUT NEW ONES I STILL NEED A SPONGE AND A MAP TO THE TOILET deuce: AND ALL I CAN SPELL IS P-A-I-N

deuce: TOOT TOOT deuce: I'M SWIMMING deuce: OKAY NOW I'M SINKING deuce: GLUG GLUG GLUG deuce: HEY THIS IS NO FUN ANYMORE

spigot: PACE YOURSELF spigot: FIRST ONE COCK, THEN ANOTHER spigot: THEN FOUR, THEN EIGHT

pants: MY LITTLE T-REX ARMS ARE FLAILING deuce: MY VESTIGIAL LIMBS ARE BEATING VIGOROUSLY IN A FRAIL ATTEMPT TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING BUT ULTIMATELY I AM DESTINED TO FAIL pants: NATURE'S GREATEST GIFT: MY AMAZING MOUTH deuce: EVOLUTION HAS SPECIFICALLY SELECTED ME FOR EXTINCTION pants: I'M ALL "THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MUTANTS SOUNDS TOTALLY GAY TO ME" AND HE GOT REALLY MAD AND FLOATED OUT

atandt: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN pants: I LOST MY LIGHTER atandt: BOYS AND GIRLS pants: IT'S ORANGE atandt: COLORFUL TWINKLING LIGHTS pants: IF YOU FIND IT LET ME KNOW (THANKS)

spigot: CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP HERE COME THE HORSES spigot: HOLY CHRIST THEY'RE CRAPPING ALL OVER THE STAGE spigot: WHAT A CRAZY MESS YOU HAVE MADE JEAN-CHARLES spigot: J'TAIME pants: AND THE PRESIDENT OF THE BANK WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE spigot: ALL OVER THE SIDEWALK OUTSIDE THE CAFE THIS IS A CATASTROPHE spigot: QUICKLY, TAKE THESE SACKS OF FLOUR AND *POOMPH* spigot: JEAN CHARLES YOU KLUTZ spigot: JEAN CHARLES YOU HAVE SOILED YOUR LAST PAIR OF TROUSERS AND TODAY IS PICTURE DAY

pants: COCKS deuce: WELL THERE YOU ARE deuce: I WAS GETTING JIZZY (OKAY I'M ALWAYS JIZZY) deuce: I WAS JUST GETTING MORE JIZZY IS WHAT I'M SAYING deuce: NO THAT'S NOT TRUE EITHER deuce: FUCK IT DRINKING GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG

spigot: HELLO spigot: HELLO .(spigot): ALL ALONE : SPIGOT PULLS DOWN TROUSERS: HBUGLBUG LUBUGBLH GLBUGHLUBH GLUBHGLU spigot: JESUS GOD JEAN-CHARLES AND THREE OTHER FAT FRENCH FAGS

deuce: HURRAY PEOPLE IT'S BRING YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY spigot: T DEUCE I BROUGHT A BONG INSTEAD

pants: COULD YOU JUST MEASURE MY SHADOW AND SEE HOW LONG WINTER'LL BE pants: I'M THE CHRISTMAS FAG pants: POP ME IN YOUR TREATHOLE

spigot: SYSTEM.OUT.WRITELN ("I'M FULL OF DICK TODAY");

pants: GO GO GO pants: STORM THE FRONT pants: FIRE IN THE HOLE pants: STICK TOGETHER TEAM pants: TAKING FIRE NEED ASSISTANCE pants: GET OUTTA THERE SHE'S GONNA BLOW pants: TERRORISTS WIN pants: DOES THIS COUNT TOWARDS COMMUNITY SERVICE

spigot: I'M THE WIZARD OF NUTS AND COCKS spigot: AND ALSO BALLS

spigot: T PANTS CAN YOU HELP ME DEVELOP A SCI-FI WESTERN THAT TAKES PLACE ENTIRELY IN YOUR MOUTH (WITH MY PRICK)

pants: JUST WATCH THE ROAD pants: HUFF THIS deuce: THINK YOU'RE ALL THAT HUH deuce: WELL I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU AREN'T BY LICKING YOUR BALLS pants: OKAY NOW HUFF THIS

pants: WILL I BE ABLE TO AFFORD SPACE TRAVEL IN MY LIFETIME deuce: WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME I DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE

spigot: IF YOU TILT THE PAC-MAN MUG BACK AND FORTH HE CHASES GHOSTS spigot: CAN WE AFFORD NOT TO SUPPORT CLONING PROSTITUTES spigot: BUG NO. 490834 I CLICK "GO BACK IN TIME" AND I GET STUCK IN RENAISSANCE (HOPE YOU SEE THIS) uncredited caveman: ATOUK ZUG-ZUG SPIGOT

spigot: HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING TONIGHT spigot: WE'D LIKE SOME POTSTICKERS AND I'D LIKE AN ICED TEA PLEASE spigot: ACTUALLY AS PART OF THE SERVICE I CAN ALSO SING uncredited caveman: POOKA NEH-SOKU NEH-UNK NIE ZUG-ZUG ZOOK ZOZZZ

spigot: FREE TO BE YOU spigot: AND ME spigot: AND MY DICK AND THESE PUDDING CUPS????????? uncredited caveman: GRRRRR (FOAM) GRRRRRRRRR HUHHHHHH (MORE FOAM)

spigot: TYING MY PRICK TO THE LAMP POST AND SWINGING OUT INTO TRAFFIC IN A COMICAL SLAPSTICK FASHION spigot: LOOK OUT WOAH HOLY spigot: OH WE'RE HOME uncredited caveman: (TREMBLES, URINES SELF)

pants: GOOD ONE deuce: HOW ABOUT A GOOD RUBBING pants: HIGH FIVE pants: YOU HEARD THE MAN MOPS AND BUCKETS PEOPLE ASSES AND ELBOWS THIS INSTANT ON THE DOUBLE deuce: CHOP CHOP

pants: WE SHOULD GIVE UP deuce: PULL AND WANK ON IT deuce: IT TURNS YOUR PISS MILKY pants: AND ARRESTY

pants: (IT GOES IN MY MOUTH) deuce: DOES IT pants: (IT DOES) deuce: OH pants: (YES) deuce: STOP THAT

deuce: YOU'RE SCARING ME pants: (I'M STUCK IN BIZARRO JERKCITY) pants: (IT'S SOME WEIRD DIMENSION WHERE I SUCK DICK ALL DAY) pants: (WAIT A MINUTE) pants: OKAY I WAS UNDER A BLANKET THE WHOLE TIME pants: HI

spigot: I DISLIKE THE BITING spigot: BUT I DON'T MIND THE CLAMPING spigot: HOLDING MY BREATH UNTIL I'M GAY IN THE FACE

atandt: T DEUCE LIVE LONG AND PROSPER deuce: T ATANDT KILL YOURSELF SO THAT THE REST OF US MAY LEAD FRUITFUL LIVES

spigot: LET'S JUST SAY THERE'S A VERY GOOD REASON THEY'RE CALLED MOUNTIES pants: I'VE FOUND YOU CAN PRETTY MUCH SHOVE ANYTHING THROUGH THE HOLES AND THEY TAKE IT pants: WASHERS, GUM WRAPPERS, RUBBER BANDS spigot: PENCILS AND LITTLE FIGURINES AND WHAT NOT

spigot: I'M GAY DUE TO A FREAK TRANSPORTER ACCIDENT

deuce: IT'S A HORRIBLE LIFE (BUT WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD)

hanford: WHERE DID THE HOMELESS DUDE COME FROM pants: NO CLUE MAN*

pants: YOU CAN OWN ME BUT WITHOUT THE 0 AND DEFINITELY WITHOUT THE P pants: ALSO NO FUNNY COMBINATIONS (P BEFORE 0, P IN PLACE OF 0 OR O) pants: I'LL JUST LIE BACK AND THINK OF ENGLAND (FOR SOME REASON)

deuce: ARE YOU TALKING TO MY NUTS deuce: IF SO PLEASE WHISPER deuce: (THEY ARE SENSITIVE)

pants: THE SECRET CACHE OF DICKS spigot: WHAT IN THE pants: BURIED BY A PIRATE (NO DOUBT) spigot: WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ALL THESE DONGS spigot: HAVE YOU SEEN THESE THINGS

spigot: LET'S HAVE A LITTLE LESS COLLABORATION AND COMMUNICATION AND A LITTLE MORE EJACULATION AND MAYBE ALSO LEMON POPPYSEED MUFFINS

deuce: ARE YOU MY MOTHER net: N deuce: ARE YOU SURE net: I DON'T HAVE ANY FIREARMS deuce: CHECK AGAIN net: T DEUCE I SAID I UH OK deuce: FORCING MYSELF BACK INTO YOUR WOMB deuce: JUST TRY TO SHOVE YOURSELF UP SOMEONE'S COOCHIE AND THEY'LL ALWAYS GIVE IN

spigot: HAVING A HARD TIME BELIEVING WE'RE ALL THE WICKERMAN spigot: OKAY I NEED A RIDE BACK TO JERKCITY spigot: THERE'S A SOCK AND A NAPKIN ON THE FLOOR AND I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO

spigot: FUCKING SHUT UP DURING JAG spigot: I MEAN FRIENDS pants: COULD YOU PLEASE TRY NOT TO EMBARASS ME IN FRONT OF MY ROCKY HORROR FRIENDS JUST THIS ONCE spigot: WEARING TIGHTS IS PART OF THE FUN (ALSO THROWING RICE AND FILKING) SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST GO WAIT IN THE TARDIS

pants: MOUTH RAPE IS THE MISUNDERSTOOD RAPE deuce: IT'S NOT REALLY RAPE IF THE VICTIM IS A WOMAN

spigot: I MUST SAY THE SF BONER EXPO WAS SORT OF A LETDOWN pants: NOT ENOUGH OR TOO MUCH spigot: IT WAS JUST SOME GUY'S APARTMENT

pants: MY LED ZEPPELIN T-SHIRT IS FINALLY STARTING TO FADE pants: MAYBE NOW I CAN HANG OUT IN THE SMOKING SECTION pants: IT'S GOT THE GUY WITH THE STICKS ON THE FRONT AND ON THE BACK IT'S ALL ZOSO

spigot: WHAT IF THE CAUSE OF THE BIG PLANE CRASH WAS ME FARTING?!?!?!?!? spigot: I AM HELPING MYSELF TO MORE SAUSAGE REGARDLESS

spigot: WHY DOST THOU FLIP AND FLOP THY DONG BENEATH MY CHAMBER DOOR deuce: BY THAT DO YOU MEAN BEATING YOU SILLY AND SHOVING YOUR HEAD INTO A BATHTUB FULL OF WARM PISS deuce: IF SO COUNT ME IN ???

spigot: GAY ABOUT THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STARRING SPIGOT pants: I'VE SEEN THIS ONE spigot: LORDY

deuce: T PANTS SO APPARENTLY I'M A BIG JOKE TO YOU pants: T DEUCE YOU'RE LIKE A FUNNY CLOWN YES pants: T DEUCE MY KEYBOARD IS FUCKED UP (SPACEBAR STICKY FOR SOME ODD REASON)

spigot: SIR YOU ARE SPREADING/SMEARING SUNSHINE ALL OVER MY FACE

.deuce: I FEEL LIKE JERKING .deuce: BUT I WON'T LET THE DEVIL CONTROL MY BEHAVIOR .deuce: INSTEAD I'LL YANK

ozone: (EV1): UNIT 0, REVISION 3. deuce: COCKS ??? ozone: DICKS !!! deuce: WE'RE IN AGREEMENT THEN

deuce: THE SWEET ACRID AROMA OF SPIGOT'S HATEFUL MEAN, WELL-DESERVED WORDS deuce: CLEARLY INDICATING THAT I DO NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD ACRID spigot: AHEM deuce: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I DON'T FIND OUT WHO'S STEALING MY PEANUT BRITTLE THINGS I'M GOING TO BLOW A GASKET AND THEN CONTINUE WHINING spigot: THOSE ARE MY BUTTERSCOTCHES

deuce: I SEE YOU SUCKING AROUND THE CORNER spigot: DID YOU BUILD A PERISCOPE OUT OF TWO MIRRORS AND A MILK CARTON

spigot: IT'S NOT A PARTY WITHOUT ME FOLKS spigot: HUGHGYHGHG HGHUGHGUH SOMEONE PICK A CARD spigot: SIR YOU ARE REALLY BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE BOWL VERY HARD NOW

spigot: PROSPERO'S BALLS deuce: JUMPIN' JEHOSEPHAT spigot: GET OUT deuce: MAKE ME

deuce: ALL THAT POUNDING REAMERY IS GIVING ME TOXIC SHOCK

pants: ANYWAY IF I HAVE NO FREE WILL THEN I MIGHT AS WELL JUST SUCK ALL THE DICKS AT ONCE IS WHAT I'M SAYING deuce: AND BEGIN pants: YOUR BIRD-LIKE DICK deuce: IN THAT IT HAS A BEAK OR THAT IT MAKES BUK BUK BUK SOUNDS (BOTH TRUE) uncredited caveman: GAHHHHHHHHHHHH NUGGGGGGGGH GAAAAH HUNNGH NUGGGH HUHHHHHHH

spigot: THEN WE ADJOURNED TO THE LOUNGE FOR COMPLIMENTARY FACIALS deuce: BOY DID WE

pants: I'D DONATE TO THE RELIEF EFFORT BUT MY CAT NEEDS CHEMO pants: FOLKS YOU TAKE THE FRESH PESTO WITH PINE NUTS AND CHEESE MIXED IN THEN SPREAD IT THICK LIKE PEANUT BUTTER ONTO THE PIZZA spigot: ACTUALLY IT'S ONE OF THE OLD BLACK-AND-WHITE RE-RUNS BUT DON'T LET ME INTERRUPT pants: TONIGHT'S EPISODE OF SPIGOT THE BEAR IS FILMED IN TECHNOCOLOR

pants: HOW DID I GET THIS HARD

spigot: AND BY "FAT" WE ALSO MEAN "DUMB" spigot: I'M AFRAID THAT BEATS MY FIDDLE FOOPER FOP AND MY HURGLY BING BONG spigot: QUEERS AREN'T HUMAN THEY'RE QUEER COCKSUCKERS

deuce: THEY'RE ALL OVER ME pants: LIKE GAY FLIES pants: OR JUST REGULAR NON-GAY FLIES deuce: RAPE FLIES pants: THE WORST deuce: IN THAT THEY RAPE pants: THE NON-GAY ONES ARE JUST ANNOYING deuce: THEY HIT ON YOU BUT DON'T REALLY GET ANYWHERE deuce: THE RAPE FLIES ON THE OTHER HAND DO NOT EVEN ASK pants: THEY CARRY YOU THOUSANDS OF MILES INLAND pants: I ENDED UP IN MICHIGAN ONCE

spigot: YOU PUT YOUR LEFT FOOT IN spigot: YOU TAKE YOUR LEFT FOOT OUT spigot: YOU PUT YOUR FAT BALLS IN spigot: AND YOU SHA : SPIGOT IS KICKED OFF CHANNEL #HOKEY_POKEY

pants: [B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[A[A[A pants: LOOK I MIXED THE [B'S UP WITH THE [A'S deuce: ~~~~~~~ deuce: TAKE THAT pants: [B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B[B pants: TOPPING IT OFF deuce: IF YOU USE UP ALL THE [B WHAT WILL BE LEFT FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS deuce: THEY WILL HAVE TO MOVE TO THE [C OR EVEN THE [D pants: I DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM, I'LL BE DEAD deuce: YOU ASSHOLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: I PREFER TO BE CALLED A SELF-CENTERED CREEP

spigot: TAKE THE OTHER DAY, THERE I AM IN MY KITCHEN AREA WITH THREE PRICKS IN EACH HAND, A DONG AROUND MY WAIST LIKE A BELT AND THE DOORBELL RINGS spigot: WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT: TEN FAT GAY DICKS AND PRICKS STANDING AT THE DOOR DEMANDING ENTRY!!!!!! AND I'M LIKE: WHERE'S THE FIRE?!?!?!?! spigot: WELL AS YOU CAN IMAGINE THEY GAVE ME A GOOD STOMPING AND SMOOSHING AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT THE RASPBERRY HAPPLE-BAPPLE COBBLER I WAS BAKING BURNED RIGHT UP IN THE CROCKPOT

spigot: COCKS AND BALLS spigot: A DUET OF PLEASURES deuce: SHUT UP

spigot: I HAD TOO MUCH MCDONALDS deuce: DID YOU CRAM THEM IN THE WRONG HOLE AGAIN spigot: WELL YOU'RE REALLY ASKING TWO QUESTIONS THERE spigot: ALSO IS THIS EVEN DOCTOR WHO FANTASY CAMP

pants: INSTEAD OF SAYING YOU'RE GOING TO DRILL MY ASS HOW ABOUT INSTEAD WE SAY EXPLORE

deuce: BY 2020 TOUCHING OTHER PEOPLE WILL BE A DEATH SENTENCE spigot: THEN BY GOD I'M GOING TO JERK OFF

deuce: VOMITING UP PICKLES THAT I NEVER ATE atandt: NOW THAT IS DOWNRIGHT STRANGE deuce: WELCOME TO MY WORLD !!!!

spigot: WITHOUT ME, THE FLOPPY DISKS WOULD JUST GO UNLABELED

net: YOU ARE IN A ROOM FILLED WITH RERUNS EXITS ARE J)ERK AND D)RINK deuce: I WISH TO GO SOUTHWEST (SW)

pants: DAYDREAMING ABOUT DICKS pants: NOT IN A GOOD WAY THOUGH pants: MORE OF A "THIS IS A BAD THING AND I KNOW IT" WAY pants: HERE LIES VERA pants: REST IN PEACE

pants: GRAVITY IS FORCING ME TO BE GAY AGAIN

pants: LISTEN UP pants: I'M GOING TO THE MOON IN A FEW MINUTES AND I WANTED TO SAY A FEW THINGS FIRST ozone: CAN'T HEAR YOU ozone: DICKS IN EACH EAR

: SULAWESI TORAJA : GRADE 1 LOT 6447 : ROASTED ON : 3/3/2004 : "spigot" coffee labels : circa 2004 : jerkcity.com

.(pants): NO SUCH THING AS A DICK ZOMBIE????? I'LL SHOW THEM pants: THE WORLD NEEDS MORE THAN ONE TARDBLOG pants: THINK OF ALL THE POSSIBILITIES: TARDBLOGGING, TARDCASTING

uncredited caveman: BGUALGLUAHGLBAGLUHALGBAGUHLBAG pants: KEEP TRYING

first uncredited woman: MY CUNT GLOWS YELLOW second uncredited woman: I ALMOST CRASHED INTO A TREE pants: BITCHES LEAVE NOW

pants: JUST SO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER: pants: I DON'T CLIP MY FINGERNAILS pants: SO THIS IS REALLY, REALLY GONNA HURT

pants: PHONE IT IN pants: BUT DON'T PICK UP pants: LET THE MACHINE GET IT

spigot: HONK BONK spigot: I'M A CLOWN spigot: I KNOW I ASKED YOU TO VOLUNTEER WITH THE CANNED FOOD DRIVE BUT I REALLY MEANT JUST HELP ME JERK OFF INTO A NAPKIN

deuce: T PANTS LET'S HAVE A KLINGON MARRIAGE (WHICH MERELY CONSISTS OF US JERKING EACH OTHER OFF) pants: FOR GOD'S SAKE FEED ME DICK

spigot: SPOILERS FOLLOW: spigot: ... spigot: ... spigot: ... spigot: ... spigot: ... spigot: ... spigot: COCKS

deuce: COULD I BORROW YOUR WIFE FOR THE WEEKEND deuce: I WANT TO TEST OUT SOME NEW KICKS AND PUNCHES

spigot: LOOK AT ME EVERYONE I'M WEARING FUNNY PANTS spigot: WOOO HOOOO I'M A CLOWN FUCKING LOOK OVER HERE spigot: I'M SPIGOT THE CLOWN WOOO HOOO LOOKS LIKE A CREAM PIE spigot: I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE spigot: OKAY WHO'S THE BIRTHDAY BOY spigot: FUCKING SHUT UP WHO'S THE BIRTHDAY BOY

deuce: WHY AREN'T MY CONTROL MESSAGES WORKING ANYMORE

deuce: EVERY DAY IS ASS DAY pants: I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE WITH THE TOILET, JUST NEAR IT pants: GET OFFA ME

spigot: ONLY TWO WORDS CAN TEAR ME AWAY FROM JERKCITY: spigot: BO spigot: NER pants: INDEED, OUR PERFORMANCE IS FULL OF WARMTH AND HUMOR

spigot: I'M ONLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: URF HUHHHHH spigot: OFFLINE

pants: YOUR THREE DIMENSIONAL LAWS DO NOT APPLY TO ME deuce: QUACK pants: SHUT UP pants: HURRRRRRRRRR pants: IF WE HAD SOME INSTRUMENTS WE ACTUALLY MIGHT BE GOOD

spigot: SO I THINK HEINEKEN'S MY FAVORITE SCI-FI AUTHOR WHO'S ALSO A BEER

deuce: FORCING MYSELF ON YOU ozone: EATING THE ENTIRE BAG OF COOKIES

spigot: BEEP BONK spigot: I'M C3PO spigot: BOOP DOOP spigot: LET'S GO RUNNING AROUND IN THE SAND OR WHATEVER WE WERE DOING pants: I'M THE ROBOT THAT GIVES HEAD (WHICHEVER ONE THAT WAS) spigot: CLONKING

spigot: SHUT UP spigot: FUCKING SHUT UP spigot: SHUT YOUR MOUTH spigot: FUCKING SHUT YOUR FAT FAGGOT MOUTH spigot: SERIOUSLY I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU TO DEATH IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP

atandt: LIES! deuce: AGREED deuce: I MEAN WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT atandt: THE STORY ABOUT THE PENGUIN atandt: IT'S NOT TRUE deuce: OH

deuce: SO IT TURNS OUT IF YOU TRAVEL REALLY FAST IN AN ATTEMPT TO ACCUMULATE MORE DICKS FASTER IT BACKFIRES AND ALL THE DICKS ARE DEAD WHEN YOU COME BACK

spigot: THE BANG BUS TO BURNING MAN pants: THERE GROWS THE GRASS

spigot: I KEEP MY PAGER CLIPPED BETWEEN MY NUTS LIKE A STAPLE spigot: SO IF ANYONE FROM WORK NEEDS ME I'LL KNOW spigot: WHEN MY PAGER VIBRATES I GET A NOSEBLEED AND A BONER

deuce: OOOOOOOOOOOF pants: THE FLOOR IS DIRTY pants: I'M ALLERGIC TO DUST pants: COULD YOU PRESS MY HEAD SOMEWHERE ELSE

spigot: IS THIS SOME KIND OF CYBERFEMINIST WEBZINE spigot: BECAUSE I NEED A BJ spigot: FUCKING LAUGH

pants: BAHHHHHHHH ON TOP OF YOU, YOU CAN SMELL MY BREATH pants: BAHHHHH HHHHHHH YOU ARE COMPLETELY AWAKE AT THIS POINT pants: BAHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH YOU ARE NOT ENJOYING THIS

atandt: BONERS POKE deuce: HOPE FLOATS deuce: T ATANDT BUT YOUR PUPPET SHOW HAS BEEN BANNED IN FORTY SIX STATES atandt: T DEUCE YOU'RE BEGINNING TO SEE THE 'WHOLE PICTURE' IT APPEARS deuce: I BELIEVE IN A HOLISTIC VIEW

deuce: GGLHALGHALG pants: ARE YOU CHOKING???? LICK THIS DICK FOR YES AND THOSE FOUR DICKS FOR NO

spigot: IN ROMAN TIMES I COULD COUNT MY JERKING LIKE MCMDVII

atandt: WHEN I READ JERKCITY I BECOME TUMESCENT pants: NEXT TIME PUT HIM UP ON THE CROSS AND KEEP HIM THERE

pants: MAGIC PEOPLE AT UNICORN PRECINCT THIS SATURDA}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} THE SYSTEM IS GOING DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE ***IMMEDIATELY*** LOGOUT NOW