pants: /\OO/\ FLAP FLAP FLAP pants: WHOOPS SORRY WRONG PLATFORM :ows Me Millennium Edition : Windows Update : Programs > : Documents > : Settings > : Search > : Help : Run : . _ .. ... . _ . ._. ._ pants: WRONG ACCOUNT TOO HMM HLAGHLABGLABG MUST FILE BUG REPORT LAHUGHLUABGLABAG

pants: PLEASE LET ME BACK BEHIND YOUR FIREWALL pants: I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL COLLECT ALL THE TENNIS BALLS AND BEER CANS WE LEFT BACK THERE pants: ALSO THE CIGARETTE BUTTS, COFFEE CUPS, BOTTLE CAPS, CONDOMS, CLOCKS THAT TICKED TOO LOUD, POST-IT NOTES THAT SAY "FAGGOT", ETC., ETC.

spigot: CLONKY BONKY BONERS

net: IN CALIFORNIA, DRUNKS MUST PLAN AHEAD net: TEACHING DRUNKS VALUABLE PLANNING SKILLS IS THE DUTY OF THE STATE deuce: YOU ARE A FONT OF KNOWLEDGE net: SOME STATES TAKE A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT APPROACH, SUCH AS MAKING YOU PLAN WAY AHEAD IF YOU WANT TO DRINK ON SUNDAY deuce: AND BY FONT I MEAN FUCKING FAGGOT SO GET SUCKING SMARTY

: mmm yeah oooh boy duh your face will catch my spurt net: I COULD STILL MAKE IT TO THE STORE TO LEGALLY BUY ALCHOHOL deuce: Y deuce: OR YOU COULD COME OVER HERE AND BOTH STROKE AND SUCK ME (AS PER OUR CONTRACT)

deuce: AGE/SEX/LOCATION CHECK PEOPLE spigot: T DEUCE FACEPAINT

spigot: HI EVERYONE spigot: HI DEUCE I AM FINE pants: LINE NOISE spigot: HI PANTS pants: HI spigot: HI deuce: HI HOW ARE YOU} deuce: }I}I}I

pants: THAT ONE THERE pants: GET HIM pants: HE'S SLIPPERY pants: CAN'T HANG ON pants: HOLY GOD pants: OFER pants: ROM CHECK OK pants: GAME OVER

deuce: HOW STONED ARE YOU spigot: FORGET RIGHT NOW

deuce: THANKS FOR THE FUCKING NEWSFLASH GENIUS deuce: HERE'S YOUR MEDAL FOR OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT: deuce: GABLBLHGBULHGBLHUHLHUH

(pants): GOTTA GET UP pants: MUST RUN pants: AH FUCK IT HLAGHLUAGHLUAHULAHG

dick: AND THAT'S THE STORY OF WHY I WALK SO FUNNY deuce: BRAVO !!! BRAVO !!!!!! ENCORE

pants: THE POKING pants: THE POKING deuce: SO THERE ARE TWO POKINGS

pants: MMMMMMM WARM BALLS FRESH FROM THE OVEN

spigot: SO spigot: IS THIS A FAG MUD OR WHAT'S THE DEAL deuce: T SPIGOT I SUSPECT YOU'RE ASKING ALREADY KNOWING THE ANSWER spigot: T DEUCE YES BUT I NEED TO HEAR <<<<YOU>>>> SAY IT deuce: T SPIGOT NOOOOOOOOO

pants: COCKS pants: THAT'S NOT HEALTHY deuce: WE'RE NOTHING IF NOT deuce: OKAY I CAN'T COME UP WITH A GOOD WORD TO END THAT SO I'LL JUST CHOOSE "STUPID"

pants: GRANDMA SAYS I SHOULDN'T PULL IT OUT deuce: GRANDMA'S ALWAYS RIGHT

dick: THERE ONCE WAS A HERMIT NAMED DEUCE (PLEASE FINISH) deuce: SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING GOOSE deuce: BLUH BLAH DICKS deuce: BLAH BLUH PRICKS dick: PLZ PUT JEWS IN THERE SOMEWHERE

deuce: W HSDF KLSDFKLSDF; deuce: SFSD;F deuce: SDH deuce: KF

: twitter.com/PantsAtJerkcity pants: TEAM JERKCITY WOOOOOO pants: KAFF KAFF KAFF pants: YOU OWE ME ONE (1) SLOBBERY SLOPPY NOISY BLOWJOB pants: FORM LINE TO LEFT

spigot: SHOULD I ACTUALLY GO TO WORK TODAY OR GO EAT CREPES UNTIL 5PM spigot: IF WE'RE ALL REAL QUIET WE CAN HEAR PANTS THROWING UP spigot: HURRBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUB HORK HURLUP spigot: NEVER AGAIN spigot: HURBLURBLURBLURBLURBLURBLUR COCKS HONK

: so now and then you get really good reports that you have to follow up spigot: THIS WINE COOLER HAS GONE STRAIGHT TO MY HHHHH spigot: HITTING, HURTING, DOOR CLOSING pants: HOW ABOUT YOUR FACE GOING STRAIGHT TO MY LAP

deuce: SHUT atandt: I REALLY LIKE THIS CHAT THING

deuce: YOU IN THE CORNER QUIET DOWN spigot: THAT'S A CAN-DO CHIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: (REST) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: !!!!!!!!!!! HURTING MY FINGERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pants: HUHHHHHHHHHH pants: I JERKED OFF SO HARD FOR SO LONG THAT I HURT MY NECK pants: AND SO IT GOES

spigot: I GOT LOGGED OUT

spigot: FUCKING SHUT UP pants: I SEE YOU spigot: YOU MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT pants: LOOK DOWN

spigot: I HAVE A MODEM pants: GO VOICE

spigot: T DEUCE I SPELLED HI WITH FOUR OF MY BACON STRIPS TODAY spigot: LAYING THEM HORIZONTALLY ACROSS EACH OTHER deuce: T SPIGOT SO IT WAS A WIDE H THEN (OR DID YOU BREAK ONE OF THEM) spigot: IN A CROSSWISE FASHION FORMATION

deuce: HOLD ME deuce: JUST DO IT CORPORAL pants: HOW pants: I AM CONFUSED AND DIZZY deuce: I'M LEARNING THE COMPUTER !!!!!!!!

deuce: SLICE CHOP

pants: SIGN MY PETITION TO FORCE NBC TO RENEW SPIGOT THE BEAR FOR ONE MORE SEASON AND ALSO WHY ISN'T IT ON ITUNES

deuce: I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM MY AFFINITY FOR DRINK SIR ozone: YOU CAN GET RID OF THE HEADACHE WITH WINE YOU KNOW ozone: ESPECIALLY THE CHEAP STUFF deuce: YOU DOWN IN FRONT QUIET ozone: IN A BOTTLE SHAPED LIKE A PAPER BAG ozone: I CAN HEAR YOU BEING QUEER ozone: YOU'RE MAKING QUEER FAGGOTY NOISES RIGHT ABOUT NOW ozone: SHUT THE FUCK UP deuce: T OZONE SPICE GIRLS

pants: YES I WILL BE YOUR FLOWER GIRL pants: IF BY FLOWER YOU MEAN ANAL pants: AND IF BY GIRL ALSO MEAN ANAL

spigot: I NEED TO BE JERKED OVER HERE

spigot: I HAVE DIED FROM A PROSTITUTE OVERDOSE spigot: ALSO SHOOTING MYSELF BECAUSE I RAN OUT OF $$$$$$

pants: OH GOD ARE YOU BEATING OFF TO THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG pants: JUST NOD ONCE FOR THE PRINCESS OR TWICE FOR THE FROG (NOT JUDGING YOU) deuce: SILENCE deuce: NODDING THREE TIMES (BOTH) pants: HOLY

deuce: I GOT FORTUNE COOKIE AND MADE IN JAPAN SO WE CAN WATCH IT TOGETHER spigot: BE GAY WITH ME IN THE APRICOT ORCHARD BEHIND KAISER PERMANENTE

spigot: I CALL THEM "GOOD ATTITUDE SEEDS" AND YOU WATER THEM WITH EDUCATION!!!!!!

spigot: MICROWAVE PUMPKIN BARS pants: ARE WE PLAYING MATCH GAME pants: BECAUSE IF WE ARE I NEED TO BE EXCUSED pants: THIS IS ALL TOO MUCH pants: MY HEART

deuce: ASS FUCKIN' deuce: ASS FUCKIN' II: REVENGE OF THE ASS deuce: ASS FUCKIN' III: OW OW OW OW OW OW pants: WAS THERE EVER A IV

spigot: IT'S ONE SMALL CHONG FOR A FONG spigot: AND ONE GIANT DONG FOR LONG BONG spigot: ME RIKEY SPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pants: MISTER FROG IS FULL OF HOPS deuce: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH JERKING, ETC.

deuce: I'M DICKWORTHY dick: GUESS AGAIN, PRINCESS

bung: JERKCITY IS REFUSING FTP CONNECTIONS FROM OUTSIDE pants: AND THE INSIDE TOO

pants: I LICK DICK deuce: 10-4 GOOD BUDDY

pants: COCKS pants: NOW THAT'S JUST pants: YAY ROBOCOP IS ON

dick: HMM IF A SIAMESE TWIN JERKS HIS BROTHER OF IS IT STILL MASTURBATING??????? FUCKING FAGGOTS spigot: WHY IS THE GARAGE FILLING UP WITH PORN

deuce: OTISBERG

pants: LET'S HAVE IT pants: A ONE AND pants: A TWO AND pants: A THREE pants: BUH DICK

pants: HOLD STILL pants: NUGGGGGGGGGGH pants: SHUT DOWN ALL THE TRASH COMPACTORS ON THE DETENTION LEVEL

spigot: LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT!!!!!!!! deuce: AT LEAST SUCK ME OR SOMETHING

spigot: GIRLS JIZZED UP spigot: PREFERABLY SITTING ON/AROUND A TOILET

pants: COCKS deuce: NO NO NO deuce: LET'S NOT START THAT AGAIN

deuce: T SPIGOT J/O IN MY APARTMENT BATHROOM AT 3.35 AM spigot: AS YOU CAN SEE INSTEAD OF FLOWERS I BROUGHT SNICKERS

deuce: FUCKING IDIOTS SWARM AROUND ME WITH THEIR COCKS PULLED OUT

pants: HE WAS LICKING OUR DICKS THE WHOLE TIME !!!!!!!!!! pants: SERIOUSLY SLOBBERING ON THEM pants: MINE IS PRACTICALLY SHINING/GLISTENING pants: ANYWAY IT GOT SUCKED IS WHAT I'M SAYING deuce: GLHGAHLAG LHAGHLAG deuce: DUDE IT'S COATED WITH SALIVA AND ITS OWN JIZZ AND A LITTLE BIT OF TEARS pants: AND SOME HONEY MUSTARD I THINK pants: WHAT KIND OF A FAG MUSTARDS UP A PERFECTLY GOOD COCK : PANTS HAS BEEN SENDING MESSAGES TO YOU TOO RAPIDLY, AND IS NOW BEING IGNORED.

atandt: ONE DAY I'M ALL 'HUGHGUGHUHGHGL DICKS' AND ANOTHER DAY I'M JUST "HUHGLUG DICKS" atandt: I CAN'T ACCOUNT FOR THE DISCREPANCY pants: T ATANDT IT HAPPENS

atandt: CAN WE HAVE SOME HILLBILLY MUSIC deuce: EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE QUIET WHILE I'M JERKING

spigot: TRYING TO CRITIQUE THIS CHARDONNAY HERE spigot: IS PEE THE SAME THING AS PISS

pants: THE WHOLE POINT OF TYING THE KANGAROO DOWN WAS SO WE COULD FUCK IT pants: WORST WALKABOUT EVER deuce: WHY WAS THIS NOT MADE CLEARER BEFORE WE STARTED THIS EXPEDITION deuce: DON'T TOUCH ME LIKE THAT

spigot: I SAY WE INVESTIGATE KENNETH STARR'S PERSONAL LIFE!!!!!!!!! spigot: IS IT TOO LATE FOR THAT COMMENT spigot: FOLKS I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS ANITA HILL THING spigot: HURRRR spigot: WASHINGTOONS!!!!!!!! CLICK HERE

pants: G IS FOR GIZZ deuce: SOMEONE JERK ME pants: DO YOU MEAN GERK YOU deuce: GHLAGHLAHGLUAG

pants: I'M A LITTLE AFRICAN CREATURE AFTER THE RAINS HAVE GONE pants: A LITTLE SAD BUT ALSO A LITTLE STONED

deuce: IF STOUFFER'S DIDN'T MAKE FRENCH BREADED PIZZAS I'D HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO HUNT OR SOMETHING

deuce: WHY CAN'T I BE LOVED deuce: IT'S NOT MY FAULT I CAN'T CONTROL MY BOWELS/MOUTH

spigot: T PANTS ONLY INSTEAD OF DEUCE COMING OVER FOR THE SURPRISE PARTY IT'S REALLY AN INTERVENTION WHERE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND RELATIVES TELL HIM HOW CONCERNED THEY ARE THAT HE DRINKS AND COLLECTS THAT KIND OF PORN deuce: GLUG GLUG GLUG deuce: SHUT UP deuce: WHACK WHACK WHACK spigot: FAT BALLS AND WANGS

deuce: HELP ME I'M DROWNING IN DICKS pants: NOT FALLING FOR THAT ONE AGAIN deuce: NO SERIOUSLY I AM THIS TIME I SWEAR

pants: T DEUCE I'D JUST BACK OFF IF I WERE YOU pants: T DEUCE I'M SOME MANNER OF AMAZING MACHINE pants: T DEUCE MOVING PARTS, YOU UNDERSTAND deuce: T PANTS THEN GET BUSY

deuce: WELL HOLY SHIT deuce: WELCOME TO QUEER TOWN deuce: I'M THE MAYOR

deuce: SHOULD I JERK OFF NOW OR LATER deuce: NOW BLBAHLBAHL BALHBAHBHLA BHLBHLABHL deuce: OKAY AND LATER TOO BLAHBLBHLA ABHLLBHBA HLBHABH

spigot: SEE ME PLEASE ABOUT YELLOW URINE CRYSTALS ON/IN SINK

.(deuce): GETTING SICK AGAIN I GUESS .(deuce): PUNCHING HOOKERS .(deuce): THAT ALWAYS FIXES UP A COLD

spigot: BE THE FIRST PERSON TO WRITE A REVIEW OF JERKCITY.COM! spigot: AKJDHG S:DLHG()$ WG()RNSBW$T SUBMIT spigot: ALD)*G*) RNTEHSDKJ HBB*$$G*H T09JB(ST$ SUBMIT

spigot: SPEAK INTO THE DONG pants: REALLY LEAN INTO IT

pants: WHAT IF I LICKED IT UPSIDE DOWN LIKE deuce: IS THE WANG UPSIDE-DOWN OR ARE YOU deuce: RELATIVITY SAYS IT DOESN'T MATTER BUT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET AN ANSWER BEFORE I PROCEED

spigot: SHE'S ALL "WHAT DO YOU DO" spigot: AND I'M ALL "JERKCITY, BABY" spigot: THEN I HUMPED HER FACE FOR HALF AN HOUR

spigot: I AM SOILED pants: SITTING IN YOUR OWN WASTE spigot: I LIKE TO ROLL MY OWN CIGARETTES, THEN DUNK MY HEAD IN THE TOILET pants: DOES FLUSHING MAKE YOUR HAIR DO THAT THING

deuce: SUCK MY WEENIE COCK AND TURN IT INTO A BENDY STRAW

pants: BRING IT !!!!!!!!!!!!! BY IT I MEAN SAUSAGES, MASHED POTATOES, ONIONS, MUSHROOMS, FILET MIGNON, FRESH GARLIC AND WHATEVER ELSE FITS INTO MY GAPING OVERSIZED MOUTH

spigot: AND I'M SLAPPING MY DONG AROUND IN MY OWN FACE

: PANTS STEPS FORWARD: I WILL BE GAY WITH YOU spigot: MOTION CARRIED spigot: HABLHALBHALB HALBHALBHALHB

pants: HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN pants: PRAISE HIM pants: SIRS I-- pants: OH LORDY LORD IT'S HAPPENING pants: AGAIN pants: HLAGHLUAHGLAGAG pants: SPIT KICK DUH MOO GLUAHGLAG LGAHULAG HGLUAGHG pants: GET A ROPE

pants: ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE FAGS

pants: QUEER FISTS BASHING MY TENDER GAY FACIAL FEATURES deuce: POUNDING YOU LIKE CLAY

pants: VISITING THE SERRAMONTE CENTER MCDONALD'S, EXPOSING MYSELF spigot: GET ME A CHEESEBURGER WITHOUT MY WIFE KNOWING

spigot: PAINFUL SHOE-SIZED SHITS pants: LEARNING TO FLY THE HARD WAY spigot: I SAY IF IT'S EVEN REMOTELY OR SLIGHTLY BROWN, FLUSH IT DOWN pants: WHAT spigot: MY BIG RED TRUCK NEEDS SOME REAR END WORK pants: GO ON

deuce: T PANTS I THINK WE TOOK THE "I'M GOING TO SUCK YOUR DICK" GAME TOO FAR pants: T DEUCE IF WE HADN'T BEEN DRINKING THE WHOLE "LET'S PRETEND I'M A GIRL" THING MIGHT NOT HAVE HAPPENED deuce: T PANTS LOOK HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY I'M SORRY I HONESTLY THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID SO I WENT FOR IT pants: T DEUCE IF I WASN'T SO STONED MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE SUCKED ALL THE DICKS IN THE ROOM TWICE deuce: T PANTS MY COUNT IT WAS A LITTLE OVER THREE TIMES AROUND THE ROOM

: Please put urine here

pants: ARE YOU OKAY (BARELY LOOKING UP) spigot: MY MOSE AN MOUTH

spigot: PEEKABOO! I LICK DICK spigot: WHO spigot: HUH spigot: DIZZY HERE spigot: I THINK THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS BOY AM I GOING TO SUCK DICK THIS SPRING

spigot: CAN WE HOLD HANDS AND PROCLAIM WE'RE AN OPEN SOURCE COMMUNITY spigot: DICKS THEN spigot: ?!?!??!?!!?!?!

spigot: IF ONLY SOMEONE WERE HERE TO EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLACK HOLE AND A GLORY HOLE

spigot: WE'VE GOT TO GET MORE AND MORE ASTRONAUTS OF EVERY COLOR AND CREED UP IN SPACE DRINKING THEIR OWN RECYCLED URINE spigot: INSTEAD OF COMING INTO THIS COUNTRY AND DRINKING ALL MY HARD-EARNED URINE deuce: I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THIS REALLY WORKS

pants: DOES THE BIBLE SAY WE CAN'T BE GAY pants: DOES IT REALLY SAY THAT pants: REALLY pants: CAN'T A MAN LIE DOWN WITH ANOTHER MAN'S COCK IN HIS FACE pants: THAT IS GROSS, I WILL BE LESS NOISY IN THE FUTURE pants: HAULGHALUG HALUHGLUAHUAL HAULGHLAUHG pants: IT'S JUST A LITTLE BLOOD pants: IT'LL WASH OUT

spigot: MY HAPPY OPEN MOUTH

deuce: I SEE YOU spigot: NO deuce: COME OVER THIS-A-WAY spigot: WOULD REALLY PREFER NOT

deuce: HURBLE BURBLE I SUCK DICK pants: SPYING ON YOU pants: TAKING NOTES pants: ASKING QUESTIONS LATER deuce: GHLAGHLAGHLAG

spigot: COME ON KIDS EVERYONE INTO THE PORN VAN TO MEXICO deuce: HURBLE BURBLE

deuce: HEAD pants: HEAD deuce: SO YOU'RE WITH ME THEN pants: AYE deuce: VERY WELL: I HEREBY GIVE YOU A FIELD PROMOTION TO COCKSUCKER SECOND CLASS

deuce: IF I GOT A MICROSCOPE I COULD MEET MY OWN SPURT

spigot: CAN SOMEONE TELL WHORES IN EUROPE THAT IN ADDITION TO LOOKING LIKE MODELS THEY MUST ALSO KNOW HOW TO SUCK DICK IN AN ENTERTAINING FASHION??????????? HELLO

pants: THE JERKCITY ARTICLE ON WIKIPEDIA NEEDS MORE REFERENCES

spigot: I AM ASKING YOU TO LICK DICK WITH ME AND POSSIBLY PRICK WITH ME deuce: T SPIGOT I UNDERSTAND THE FIRST BUT DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU VERBED THE SECOND spigot: I THINK DICKS ARE PRIMARILY PASSIVE WHEREAS PRICKS ARE MORE POKING deuce: MMM deuce: UNDERSTOOD

spigot: NO OFFENSE BUT PLEASE GO EAT A DICK AND THEN PLANT YOUR FACE IN A PILE OF DOGSHIT (TODAY) spigot: CLEARLY THAT'S NOT A BONG

pants: GOOD GOD WATCH ME LICK DICK pants: NO CARRIER

spigot: I'VE LEARNED THE VALUE OF SIMPLY BEING MYSELF pants: SUHHHHHHHH spigot: CAN I COME BACK TO THE GAY CLUB OR HAVE I BEEN EXCLUDED pants: NO YOU'RE ON THE LIST spigot: BUH HUH I CAN BE FUNNY SEE LOOK WITH MY MAGIC pants: MAKE THE TIP OF MY DICK VANISH

pants: RAPING CHILDREN IS A SIN YOU KNOW deuce: I ONLY EAT THEM FOR SUSTENANCE

atandt: DO NOT HESITATE atandt: TAKE ACTION! atandt: YOU ARE YOUR OWN WOST ENEMY atandt: THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO FEAR IS FEAR ITSELF deuce: HOLY SHIT

spigot: HANDS UP WHO THINKS I'M PRETTY spigot: GET YOUR FUCKING HAND UP THERE

deuce: THE FREAKS ARE OUT TONIGHT spigot: PLEASE BEAT ME OFF TEN TIMES A DAY

spigot: OKAY PEOPLE JUST STEPPING OUTSIDE spigot: NOT GOING ANYWHERE GAY spigot: BACK SOON

spigot: DOOT DEE DOO JUST WANDERING INTO THE TOILET HMMM MMMMM NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING spigot: *HONK* *BONK* spigot: WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WITH DICK

pants: OBVIOUSLY THE PEOPLE WHO WORK HERE DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT

spigot: I GUESS WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TWO DONGS GO TO WAR deuce: TWO LESS DONGS IN THIS WORLD

pants: ADDING "ALSO, COCKS" IS BORERLINE VANDALISM IMO

pants: NUGGGGGGGGH pants: I AM LEAVING FOR CONSTANTINOPLE TONIGHT

pants: BONGZILLA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: BLBLBLBL IT IS SERIOUSLY PROMOTING AN OPEN SMOKING ENVIRONMENT spigot: WE ARE ALL DIZZY AND PASSED OUT ON/AROUND THE COUCH spigot: MY FACE IS SMOOSHED INTO THE DOGSHIT

spigot: I AM A COCKSMITH spigot: TINK TINK ALONE IN MY WORKSHOP CLINK DONK spigot: THE DOOR IS UNLOCKED AND MY PANTS ARE DOWN

pants: URINE deuce: WHERE pants: WHAT deuce: I SAID WHERE AS IN WHERE IS THE URINE pants: BUT I WAS ASKING ABOUT THE URINE deuce: OH I SEE: SO YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THE URINE IS EITHER pants: RIGHT deuce: YOU'RE JUST TEASING ME NOW AREN'T YOU pants: I THOUGHT YOU HAD URINE AND YOU WERE CONCERNED ABOUT THE LOCATION pants: WHEREAS MY RESPONSE WAS TO SLIGHTLY OPEN MY MOUTH, CLOSE MY EYES pants: FOR WHICH THERE IS NO TRANSLATION INTO THIS CYBERWORLD WE CALL [GAS CHAMBER]

pants: LICKING DICK IN THE BIZARRO UNIVERSE

deuce: ANYONE WANT TO PLAY DENTIST deuce: SERIOUSLY ?!?!?! LET'S PLAY DENTIST deuce: I'LL PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH deuce: AND THEN YOU'LL PUNCH ME IN THE MOUTH deuce: AND THEN WE'LL KISS FOR THREE HOURS

pants: IT HURTS deuce: I KNOW

spigot: HERE I HAVE AN ORDINARY EVERY DAY BONER spigot: *POOF* spigot: NOW YOU'RE SUCKING IT OFF

atandt: TOO HOT TO SLEEP atandt: TOO HOT TO FUCK atandt: I GUESS I AM STUCK IN JERKCITY deuce: APPARENTLY ALSO TOO HOT TO SHUT THE FUCK UP

deuce: GUH spigot: VERY CONCERNED

spigot: VERY EMBARRASSED BY MY HEAD GEAR spigot: GLUCK GLUCK LOOK AT ME spigot: AM I A FUTURISTIC ASTRONAUT OR A FREAK YOU DECIDE PEOPLE

spigot: I'M WEARING A FUCKING TIE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD spigot: I'M GOING BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS IN TIME spigot: BLUH HUH GARGLING AWAY IN THE TARDIS

pants: FORCED ANAL pants: T DEUCE NO WAIT pants: ANAL BY CHOICE

spigot: DO I HAVE TO DO THE AIDS WALK OR CAN I JUST DO A LAW & ORDER MARATHON

pants: I WAS RAISED ON LOVIN' JESUS GOIN' TO CHURCH AND SUNDAY SCHOOL pants: IS KOJAK THERE pants: DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WE HAVE MOMENTARILY STOPPED ALL BOBSLEDS

pants: THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING FRY'S ELECTRONICS pants: SEE BACK FOR RETURN POLICY pants: YOUR BEST BUYS ARE ALWAYS AT FRY'S! pants: NUGGGGGGGGH pants: ANAL

pants: SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT YOU LIKE PENIS pants: VERY WELL THEN pants: RELEASE THE KRACKEN

spigot: T PANTS COULD YOU PLEASE DISABLE LOGKEEPING WHILE I VIEW THE CHUBBY MEN

pants: GET OFFA ME pants: RIGHT THIS INSTANT pants: NOW NOW NOW pants: UP AND OFF pants: C'MON pants: LET'S GO pants: NOT ASKING YOU AGAIN

spigot: NOBODY IS VISITING MY BLOG deuce: YOUR WHAT spigot: MY HNOTHING spigot: ALSIDG94

spigot: MY FAT HAND SQUEEZING YOUR NECK AND THROWING YOU OUT OF THE WAY

pants: GET ME OUT OF THIS QUEERSACK OR I'LL CALL CHER AND STING : DEUCE STANDS BACK WITH THE BAT

spigot: I HOPE THE DALAI LAMA LETS BUTTMAN BACK IN BUDAPEST

spigot: YOU'VE ALL BEEN IDLE FOR OVER HALF AN HOUR spigot: THIS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABUHHHHHH spigot: HHHGBLGBLGBLGH ALONE WITH MY OWN DICK spigot: PUNCHITY BONERS

deuce: WHO'S THE BOSS !!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: ME!!!!!!!!! spigot: HURF spigot: YOU

pants: I HAVE A COLD IN MY BALLS pants: SOMEBODY GET THEM SOME CHICKEN SOUP

spigot: I'M A WALKING KNOB JOB spigot: FAT GAY DICKS spigot: T DEUCE YOU BE KASCHA AND I'LL BE RAMBONE deuce: T SPIGOT DONE DEAL

pants: A CLEAN WELL-LIGHTED PLACE TO POKE YOUR PRICK

pants: DRINK HARD LIQUOR pants: THEN FALL OVER

spigot: HEY LOOK HOW FUNNY I AM spigot: I'M WRY AND CLEVER AND I'VE GOT MY FINGER ON THE PULSE OF THE NET spigot: FOLKS YOU'RE CLAMPING TONGS ON MY BALLS AND HURTING ME

spigot: BBW??? spigot: I'LL BBL!!!!!! spigot: CLONK BADONK

pants: I'VE GOT A BIG LOAD IN MY LARGE COLON deuce: ME TOO pants: LET'S TRADE deuce: LET'S HAVE OUR LOADS HAVE A LITTLE CHAT pants: WE'LL MAKE A TOKEN RING NETWORK deuce: IN THE SAME TOILET

deuce: PIZZA AND DEAD BABIES HERE pants: WHAT KIND OF PIZZA

deuce: B-B-BUT deuce: I SUCCESSFULLY WALKED DOWN THE STREET WITHOUT HELP !!! deuce: SHOULDN'T I GET A PARADE OR SOMETHING pants: I LIED ABOUT BEING RAPED

pants: HIDING IN A CRAMPED HOLE deuce: THROWING YOU A LIFELINE (BOILING OIL)

deuce: "AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA," COMMENTED TERI WEIGEL spigot: WHY CAN'T YOU CUT THAT POOR GIRL A CHECK deuce: SHE WON'T FUCKING LEAVE deuce: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" IN THE BACKGROUND

pants: T DEUCE YOUR NEW NAME IS MISS MINIVAN pants: T DEUCE OR MS. IF YOU PREFER

deuce: GALGHALUGHUALGHUAG deuce: WAKA WAKA WAKA WAKA deuce: DEGENERATING INTO PAC-MAN SOUNDS

deuce: PEER INTO MY BALLS pants: I'M FEELING SLEEPY pants: VERY SLEEPY pants: WHAT IS YOUR COMMAND MASTER deuce: DO MY HOMEWORK FOR ME

deuce: DO MY HOMEWORK FOR ME pants: VERY WELL: 2 + 2 = 5 pants: I'M 15 YEARS OLD AND HAVE MY OWN HOMEWORK ZOMBIE !!!!! pants: 2 % 47 = 5 deuce: I'M THE LUCKIEST KID EVER pants: 9 * 9 * 9 = 5

pants: ABND ME MMEM KA UYOPF HE809T 6Y9HSIOFWS9YTE SOGE WOIG pants: ' : PANTS SDGJ;G

deuce: WANT TO KISS pants: YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! deuce: MAYBE

deuce: TWISTING YOUR ARMS UNTIL THEY MAKE A CRACKING SOUND AND THEN KISSING YOU SOFTLY deuce: THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET IT UP IS IF YOU CALL ME AGNES pants: PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE

:DEUCE: HIS OWN FUCKING LIFE :DEUCE: YOU ALL AS A GHOST pants: TOO STONED TO NOTICE GHOSTS

pants: OOH OOH HERE'S WHERE HE HITS THE FAT PEDOPHILE WITH A NIGHTSTICK pants: BOY HE DOESN'T LIKE THAT PEDOPHILE ALMOST AS MUCH AS THE PEDOPHILE DOESN'T LIKE TO BE HIT pants: BACK TO YOU DEUCE

deuce: NEW FOR YOU AT AMAZON.COM: NANCY DREW deuce: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP SENDING ME THIS FOR

deuce: T SPIGOT ARE YOU NEFERTERI SHEPHERD deuce: ANSWER ME pants: HE DOESN'T HAVE TO ANSWER THAT pants: T SPIGOT YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THAT

deuce: HOLD ME deuce: YOU'RE NOT HOLDING ME deuce: THAT'S MORE LIKE STRETCHING ME OUT WITH A CAR JACK

spigot: CAN WE GO SHOPPING FOR PRIDE CANDLES spigot: I'LL GET RED ORANGE YELLOW IF YOU GET GREEN BLUE PURPLE/VIOLET deuce: I NEED TO SAVE SOME MONEY FOR BLACK CANDLES (WITCHCRAFT CEREMONIES)

pants: FOLKS THAT'S JUST GREAT pants: HOW LONG ARE WE GOING TO BE IN THE MEN'S ROOM THIS TIME deuce: AS LONG AS IT TAKES

deuce: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY INABILITY TO MAINTAIN AN ERECTION WITHOUT THE PERVASIVE SMELL OF TURPENTINE pants: KIND OF

spigot: > spigot: >> spigot: >>> spigot: FOLKS THAT'S MY TIVO

spigot: WHEN'S JUDE LAW GONNA PULL A RIVER PHOENIX deuce: ANY DAY NOW pants: IF I HAD TO FUCK A ROBOT I'D LIKE IT IF IT LOOKED LIKE HIM

spigot: ARE YOU IN COOKING SCHOOL SO YOU CAN HELP PEOPLE TAKE MORE EXPENSIVE SHITS

pants: LOVE IS THE VOICE OF MUSIC pants: I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BIBLE pants: LOVE IS THE VOICE OF MUSIC pants: I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BIBLE pants: LOVE IS THE VOICE OF MUSIC pants: I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BIBLE pants: LOVE IS THE VOICE OF MUSIC pants: I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BIBLE

deuce: LEARNING TO LOVE AGAIN pants: WHO IS TEACHING YOU THESE HORRIBLE THINGS deuce: HE WANTS ME TO CALL HIM "DADDY"

spigot: CHOCOLATE | SHOPPING | BATHING SUITS | NUTRASWEET | GAG FACTOR

deuce: MY GOD HAS A CHECK NEXT TO YOUR NAME

deuce: I JUST WANT TO BE HELD AND NOT DROPPED pants: OR SLAMMED, SMASHED, THROWN, TOSSED OR OTHERWISE MANGLED pants: PLEASE pants: URFFFFFFFFFFFF THE TOILET BRUSH BARKGKRGF'

pants: MATTHEW DRUDGE TRIED TO TOUCH MY ASS deuce: WELCOME TO THE CLUB deuce: HE ACTUALLY EXPOSED HIMSELF TO ME pants: 100,000,000,000,000 MEMBERS STRONG (HE WENT TO OTHER WORLDS) deuce: RECRUITING AND FEELING UP THE CITIZENS OF PROXIMA CENTAURI IV pants: THEY HATE IT BUT BEING BALLS OF PURE ENERGY THEY CAN'T DO MUCH ABOUT IT

deuce: I WISH I WISH I DIDN'T SUCK THAT FISH'S DICK pants: *POOF* pants: YOUR MOUTH NO LONGER TASTES LIKE SALMON SEMEN pants: YOU HAVE TWO WISHES LEFT

pants: SAVE MY SOUL deuce: I CANNOT RE: GALLONS OF ANGER pants: COOKIE MONSTER MUST DIE deuce: INSHALLAH pants: TALK ME OFF deuce: THIS IS ALL AN AMBIEN HALLUCINATION (MORPHS INTO YOG SOTHOTH)

pants: CAN I COME ON YOUR TITS deuce: I WOULD PREFER NOT

spigot: TWO SEPERATE AND EQUALLY IMPORTANT BALLS pants: AND JUSTICE FOR ALL

atandt: SO IF ANAKIN BUILT C3PO, WHO BUILT R2-D2 deuce: SOME OTHER STUPID BORING CHARACTER

pants: CLOCKWISE HANDJOBS

deuce: THE ADOBE FLASH PLUGIN HAS CRASHED. deuce: SAD LEGO BRICK FACE deuce: MY DICK

pants: EAT IT RAW deuce: I'D RATHER NOT

deuce: TRANQUILITY BASE HERE. THE EAGLE HAS deuce: HOLY SHIT A SPACE MONSTER deuce: RARRRRR

deuce: I JUST WANTED TO UNDERSTAND WHICH CUP TO FILL WITH URINE pants: ALL OF THEMS

spigot: PULLING MY PANTS DOWN spigot: AND spigot: FALLING DOWN STAIRS

spigot: ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER spigot: BAM BAM BAM SIR IN THE NEXT STALL I SAID ONE IS A LONELY NUMBER AM I RIGHT

spigot: FOLKS I INVENTED NEITHER THE N-WORD NOR WEIRD AL deuce: I THOUGHT I'D BLAME YOU ANYWAY

pants: I'M GOING TO STALK MY COCK pants: HERE WE GO pants: (FALLS ASLEEP)

atandt: BUS ERROR, CORNDOG DUMPED spigot: PLEASE LIMIT YOUR BUGS TO THE STEPS REQUIRED TO KICK ME IN THE NUTS

pants: YOU PROMISED THAT I WOULD GO FOR A RIDE IN YOUR AIRPLANE spigot: LOOK AT ALL THAT JIZZ pants: INSTEAD YOU TOOK ME INTO YOUR BASEMENT AND FORCED ME TO GIVE HEAD spigot: ALL OVER MY NEW MERVYNS SHIRT

deuce: ALSO WHO ATE MY CUPCAKES pants: IT'S OKAY EVERYBODY I KNOW HOW TO TALK HIM DOWN FROM THIS ONE pants: HUGALUGLUAG LUAGLUAG LUAGLUA GLUAGLUAG

spigot: COME TO THINK OF IT I THINK WE COULD ALL USE A NUT RUB pants: ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DOLLOP OF JIZZ IN MY ESPRESSO

spigot: I TOOK THE SOAP DISPENSER OFF THE WALL AND INTO THE TOILET WITH ME spigot: WHO'S UP FOR A PINK LEMONY SUDSY HAND JOB

spigot: REGISTERED DICKLICKER spigot: MINT OGRE-LOAD

deuce: EXPLORING UP IN THERE dick: WHOA WHAT'S THAT

spigot: WHERE DID I GO?!?!?!?!?!? spigot: HINT: UP THE SKIRT spigot: MY LONG ARM IS REACHING OUT MY WINDOW AND DOWN THE DARK STREET... spigot: ...AND ONTO THE TRAIN AND THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR AND DOWN THE HALL AND INTO YOUR LAP pants: I AM SPELLBOUND spigot: OKAY MY ARM GOT OFF IN WATSONVILLE AND IT NEEDS A RIDE spigot: DUH HUH AS LONG AS MY ARM'S HERE IT MIGHT AS WELL PICK CABBAGE NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE SIR

pants: LEATHER-COVERED REARVIEW MIRROR ($675) deuce: MY GOD LETS US TEST MORE NUKES THAN YOUR GOD

spigot: I'M A COCKSUCKING COWBOY WITH A BIG HAT WHO NEEDS EXTRA ATTENTION AROUND THE DICK AND SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HTML

spigot: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I'M INTERESTING spigot: *** UNKNOWN COMMAND: LICK spigot: BULLSHIT

spigot: ABOUT YAY LONG spigot: ABOUT YAY THICK spigot: LADY ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY GESTURES

pants: I AM SORRY IT IS SHAPED LIKE A TUNA-FISH CAN BUT THERE IS REALLY NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT deuce: WHAT THE CHRIST

spigot: I WOULD PREFER MORE JIZZ AS OPPOSED TO LESS BUT WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT AVAILABLE DUM DE DUM pants: GOT TO GET IT UP, GET IT OFF, GET OUT

pants: THERE WAS NO HOME FOR THE TERROR BIRD pants: URINE SOAKED, FLAVORED OR OTHERWISE INFUSED deuce: I HAVE DISTILLED MY URINE INTO ITS FINEST COMPONENTS deuce: AMMONIA AND TEARS

pants: BLOWJOBS AT A SURPRISINGLY LOW COST

spigot: T PANTS IS 15 A POWER OF 2 pants: T SPIGOT I N C E P T I O N

pants: HOW ARE WE GOING TO LICK DICK ANONYMOUSLY NOW pants: HOW I ASK YOU pants: WE WANT THE STALL DOORS BACK !!!!!

pants: WE WANT THE DOORS TO REACH THE GROUND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: WE WANT THE DOORS TO HAVE LOCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: ALSO I NEED MY CALLS AND FAXES FORWARDED THERE

pants: REMOVE THE CAMERAS AND THE MOTION DETECTORS deuce: ALSO THE ANAL FISTING PROBE deuce: WHICH SEEMS HARDLY USEFUL BUT ANYWAY pants: YEAH THE ANAL FISTING PROBE pants: BRING IT BACK

spigot: SMOKING DOPE AND PICKING UP THE TELEPHONE, PUTTING DOWN THE REMOTE AND PICKING UP THE TELEPHONE spigot: PUTTING DOWN THE SHOE AND PICKING UP THE TELEPHONE deuce: T SPIGOT I HOPE THIS IS GOING SOMEWHERE spigot: OKAY FOLKS WHERE'S THE TELEPHONE deuce: BRAVO

pants: NOW I MUST TURN MY BACK ON YOU deuce: SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY, HERE YOU COME

pants: EXCUSE ME SIRS BUT pants: MY FRIEND IS IN A >>>WHEELCHAIR<<< pants: COMIN' THROUGH

pants: > XYZZY deuce: FUCK YOUR FAGGOT SHIT. *** YOU HAVE DIED ****

deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT'S AWESOME ???? ME, THAT'S WHAT'S FUCKING AWESOME pants: AWESOMES

spigot: THREE IN THE MORNING spigot: LOOKING FOR DICK IN THE NORTH BAY spigot: I CAN'T KEEP MY FUCKING MOUTH OPEN FOREVER PEOPLE

deuce: FAR GAYER THAN ANY OF YOU pants: OH YEAH WATCH THIS HGUAKGHUAKH pants: BAGLHALGHLAHLAG pants: HLGAHALUGHLAGAG deuce: I CONCEDE DEFEAT

spigot: spigot: DING DING DING DING spigot: FOUR ALARM FIRE IN YOUR MOUTH spigot: HERE COMES THE PRICK SHAPED FIREMAN TO SQUIRT EVERYTHING OUT spigot: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH spigot: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TODAY spigot: YOU'RE FIRED [test pattern]

pants: T ATANDT SPIGOT HIT ME AND DEUCE WON'T STOP MAKING FACES AND SHOWING ME THE CONTENTS OF HIS UNDERPANTS atandt: SORRY atandt: I CANNOT HELP atandt: OUT OF MY JURISDICTION

spigot: I WISH THEY WOULD HURRY UP AND MAKE MY REAL DOLL deuce: T SPIGOT I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO SHARE ONE spigot: I THINK NOT (CAT SCRATCHES, SHOE POLISH)

spigot: WHO THREW MY PISSICLES IN THE TRASH CAN

spigot: WASHING IT DOWN WITH WARM CUPS OF JIZZ JUICE AND A SNICKERS

deuce: PENIS LIFE spigot: I LIVE IN HOTEL DUMBSHIT

spigot: FUCKING SHUT UP pants: I SEE YOU spigot: YOU MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT pants: LOOK DOWN

pants: OH I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE pants: HI I'M PANTS FROM JERKCITY

pants: JEAN-CHARLES, YOU DRANK ALL ZE WINE spigot: WHO WILL FLY THE PLANE

spigot: OKAY SHUT UP I HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY spigot: WAIT I LEFT IT IN THE CAR : SPIGOT LEAVES spigot: OKAY GOT IT spigot: NUTS

spigot: HOIF spigot: FLYING THROUGH THE AIR spigot: URF

pants: WHO WHAT WHERE pants: OH pants: I WILL MASTURBATE ANY MAN WHO DARES TO STEP FORWARD AND HULAGHALGHLAG

spigot: FLOOSH FLUSH ECHO DRIP BLUH TEN THOUSAND PRICKS IN A ROW ALL THE WAY TO JERKCITY deuce: 100% RECYCLED DOGSHIT

deuce: HI pants: FUCK YOU spigot: WELCOME DEUCE spigot: WELCOME PANTS pants: FUCK YOU TOO

pants: HOW TO COMBINE BONERS AND BOOMERANGS atandt: ANSWER: "ABORIGINE LONGSNAKE" pants: QUESTION: "HOW DID I GET DOWN HERE AND HOW DO I GET OUT" atandt: YOU DID NOT PHRASE THE QUESTION IN THE FORM OF A HAIKU atandt: RING RING CONNECT 1200

pants: IS THAT THE SAME TOOTHBRUSH THAT FELL IN THE TOILET pants: IF SO: I WANT IN ON THE DEAL deuce: PLEASE BRING IT UP SLOWLY: IT WILL FALL IN AGAIN pants: I CANNOT SIT HERE WHILE YOU JERK THIS DICK AND THAT DICK: IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE

pants: THE CURSOR LIES deuce: COMPUTERS ARE AMAZING

atandt: WELCOME TO BONEQUEST: THE DAILY ADVENTURES OF PANTS, DEUCE, SPIGOT AND ME, ATANDT pants: UM I atandt: SHUT UP atandt: SHUT THE FUCK UP pants: ALL RIGHT THEN

pants: FUCK YES pants: LOST IN THE WOODS AGAIN pants: I'LL JUST SIT UP AND PUCKER

spigot: T PANTS YOU TAPED FRIENDS AND FRASIER BUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO WINGS?? pants: T SPIGOT FIRST LET'S DISCUSS THE FATE OF MY UNDERWEAR AND SOCKS

deuce: BUTTMAN'S RIO EXTREME GIRLS ??? WELL JUST A LITTLE MAYBE GLHGAHLGALHGA

pants: SECURITY

spigot: PLEASE DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT IN THE GLORYHOLE AREA

deuce: FUCK POLIO

spigot: OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND CLOSE YOUR EYES AND I WILL YOUR FACE WITH BALLS

pants: T DEUCE WHY WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH A ROMULAN/VULCAN ANYWAY deuce: WHY WOULDN'T I (pants): JAWAS, ETC. deuce: THEY'VE GOT HOLES AND COMPLAIN ABOUT IT JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE

deuce: SOILING MYSELF deuce: NOT THINKING ANY OF THIS IS FUNNY deuce: PARTICULARLY THE PART ABOUT THE RAPE

spigot: WHO HERE LIKES DICK (RAISE YOUR HAND) deuce: RAISING HAND spigot: FUCKING FAGGOT

: CENSORED

pants: ALGHAGHLAHGLAHALG pants: I'M SORRY THAT'S WHAT POPS OUT WHEN YOU BANG MY KNEE LIKE THAT

deuce: CAN I HAVE HEAD AT LEAST spigot: UH

pants: HEIL ME LIKE HITLER

pants: LOVE ME LIKE THE SON YOU HUMPED TO DEATH pants: NO THE OTHER ONE pants: YES FINE EITHER ONE THEN

pants: CAN'T BEAT OFF WITHOUT M-- pants: HEY WHAT ARE YOU pants: GAHLAHGLAHLAG

spigot: T DEUCE IF I WERE YOUR "DADDY" I WOULD HIT YOUR MOTHER REGARDLESS OF ANY OTHER GAY THEMES deuce: T SPIGOT THAT SOUNDS FAIR spigot: KNOW WHAT ELSE I LIKE?!?!?!!?!? BIG DICKS!!!!!!! deuce: FAG spigot: SMALL DICKS!!!!!!!!11111 TRYING

deuce: FUCKING SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE pants: CAN DO pants: WAIT I WASN'T TALKING pants: BUT I AM NOW pants: DARN

pants: SPIT SPIT CHOKE SPIT pants: GLRRRRRRRRRRKKKKK pants: CAN'T GET IT UP pants: POUND POUND POUND pants: CAN'T MAKE IT GO DOWN NOW pants: WHAT THE HELL MAN pants: WHAT THE HELL pants: PASS IT ON

pants: YOU GOT THAT RIGHT pants: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT pants: DAMN STRAIGHT pants: HELL YES pants: I CONCUR pants: INDEED pants: SIR YES SIR pants: ALL RIGHT THEN

pants: THE VIEW IS AWFUL BUT MY FACE IS STAINED WITH JIZZ deuce: SO IT ALL EVENS OUT

spigot: T DEUCE EAU DE TOILETTE deuce: THAT MEANS TOILET GAYS (spigot): LE FACE DU SPURT spigot: IS THIS THE NBC COMEDY BARN?????

deuce: CAN YOU SEE URANUS ?!?!?!?!?! bung: POINT YOUR TELESCOPE AT THE SUN AND HAVE A PEEK deuce: ALL I SEE IS PAIN

pants: BACON BACON BACON BACON spigot: FRESH HOT BURF [SILENCE]

spigot: HERE COMES THE COCKBOT spigot: I NEED A FRESCA AND A MOUNTAIN DEW AND A SHASTA spigot: BYE COCKBOT

spigot: OKAY TV TIME spigot: HERE'S A SHOW CALLED THE DRINKING DRUNK GUY WHO NEVER SHUTS UP WHOSE NAME IS MY DAD spigot: THAT LOOKS GOOD

deuce: YOU JUST VIOLATED MY COPYRIGHT, TRADEMARK, AND INNER EAR CANAL spigot: SEEN IT

pants: SAID THE ACTRESS TO THE BISHOP pants: I SAY GOOD SIR YOU APPEAR TO BE LICKING ON MY DICK pants: LOOK INTO YOUR HEART

: THE APPEARANCE OF EXTERNAL LINKS ON THIS WORLD WIDE WEB SITE DOES NOT CONSTITUTE ENDORSEMENT BY THE DEPARTMENT OF COMMERCE/NATIONAL OCEANIC AND ATMOSPHERIC ADMINISTRATION OF EXTERNAL WEB SITES OR THE INFORMATION, PRODUCTS OR SERVICES CONTAINED THEREIN. deuce: BUH spigot: ME AND MY TWO DONGS deuce: HOLY spigot: I CLONK THEM TOGETHER

spigot: WHY CAN'T THE FBI PROBE MY ASS BALLS AND LEGS FOR HACKING INTO THE BAG OF DORITOS deuce: T SPIGOT I THINK WITH PROPER MOTIVATION IT CAN BE ARRANGED spigot: I WISH TO BE LOVED AND FONDLED AND SCRUBBED AND DIAPERED AND DISPOSED OF deuce: WANG BONG spigot: I AM A GAY ADULT MALE PEOPLE AND I DESERVE BETTER deuce: T SPIGOT NO YOU DO NOT

spigot: ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO SEND THIS MAIL.......... spigot: WITHOUT A SUBJECT ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! spigot: OH GOD GRAB BONK BLORF STUMBLE STAIRS PANTS DOGSHIT

pants: SHIT SANDWICH deuce: MAKE TWO

spigot: FLYING AND SOARING AND JERKING THE JOYSTICK AND HITTING MY HEAD AND FACE

spigot: URF HURF OOF OW HONK DUH SPURTING pants: THE MERRY-GO-ROUND BROKE DOWN

spigot: SPLURK SPLORK ALL OVER YOUR FACE spigot: HAKUNA MATADA BITCH

spigot: WAVING spigot: I DON'T WANT MY LOVE FOR YOU TO GET IN THE WAY OF MY COCKS FOR YOU

pants: SO LET'S GO pants: THIS DUMBWAITER ISN'T GETTING ANY MORE CRAMPED pants: LET'S GO GO GO

pants: COME ON TUGGING YOUR SLEEVE pants: A FABULOUS VACATION SPOT INDEED pants: WRITING HOME ABOUT IT pants: COME ON NOW LET'S GET IT ON AND GET IT GOING pants: I LIKE ARRIVING FASHIONABLY LATE BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS

spigot: OH BOY HERE'S SPIGOT AGAIN spigot: WHO'S GAY THIS MORNING spigot: LET'S NOT ALWAYS SEE THE SAME SHOES spigot: CHOKING DOWN THE DELIVERABLES

spigot: WELL LIKE I WROTE IN MY GAY MEMOIRS: "AND THEN AT THE END OF THE AFTERNOON AS MY ANONYMOUS TOILET PARTNER WALKED OUT OF HIS STALL WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A THANK YOU OR A BUSINESS CARD SLIPPED UNDER THE DOOR OR LIKE A MORSE-CODE TAPPING OF HIS PHONE NUMBER (AS PER THE USUAL)" spigot: "I KNEW THAT TOMORROW WOULD BE YET ANOTHER 9-5 OF COCKS AND SPURT. IT'S TIME GO HO HOME I TOLD MYSELF, AND WITH THAT I TOWELLED OFF MY QUEER FACE, WALKED BACK OUT INTO THE BRIGHT LIGHTS OF VALLCO FASHION PARK AND WAITED FOR THE 23." spigot: THE END (OR IS IT)

pants: DON'T TOUCH THE SOFT SPOT ON MY HEAD

spigot: OKAY PEOPLE SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH THE POLLS pants: I THINK I'M GOING TO THROW UP spigot: YOU WERE ALL SUPPOSED TO VOTE FOR ME pants: BAHAHRAHRHARRAHRHAR spigot: WE'LL JUST PAUSE THE JERKCITY WHILE PANTS CLEANS HIMSELF UP

deuce: CRAM IT UP YOU WRONGWAYS pants: CRAMMING STYLE UNSPECIFIED ???????????? I AM CHECKING THE MANUAL AGAIN deuce: STYLE 23B pants: SIR 23B SIR pants: SIR 23B COMPLETED SIR

net: PISS AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE pants: MOSTLY PISS DUE TO THE OPEN URINATION POLICY

deuce: WHERE IS EVERYBODY IN MY HOUR OF NEED deuce: GHGHLHLGHLGHG deuce: SUCKING, ETC.

pants: MILLIONS OF DICKS MAKING THEIR WAY THROUGH THIS WEARY WORLD spigot: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SINGLE FILE PLEASE

: PICTURED: SPIGOT THE BEAR (LEFT); DEUCE FROM JERKCITY (RIGHT) deuce: WHO WANTS LOVIN' : SPIGOT SUCKS A C^H^H^H^H^H^H LOGS OUT deuce: WELL UP YOURS

pants: MOSTLY MOLESTED

deuce: WHY IS THE NTSB INVESTIGATING MY BONER pants: 289 DEAD AND ANOTHER 79 ON THE GROUND

spigot: HER NAME IS DR. POLASKI AND SHE WORKS VERY HARD spigot: SHE JUGGLES A STARFLEET CAREER AND MY STARFLEET BALLS spigot: I HAVE TO GO NOW

pants: CAN YOU MEASURE THE BACK OF MY BONER TO SEE IF I AM A CRIMINAL deuce: I CAN'T REACH deuce: THAT MEANS YOU'RE A RAPIST deuce: I'LL HAVE TO USE MY HANDY DECODER RING TO SEE IF THAT MEANS YOU'RE A CRIMINAL OR NOT

pants: IF YOU COULD JUST GIVE ME AN ENEMA AND SEND ME HOME THAT WOULD BE GREAT: GRAHAM CRACKERS, CLEANSING RITUALS deuce: WELL ALL RIGHTY THEN

pants: SLIGHTLY DAMAGED deuce: VERY MESSY BUT SERVICEABLE pants: ONE DOLLAR OR BEST OFFER deuce: COULD BE USED IN EMERGENCIES

dick: DOUBLE SECRET GAY DAY ozone: TWO DICKS IN EVERY MOUTH

deuce: EVERYBODY SHUT UP THE MOVIE'S STARTING pants: HUBUBUBUBUBUBUB pants: T PANTS SHUT THE FUCK UP pants: HUBUBUBUBUBUBUB [QUIETER]

spigot: TELL DIR "OPEN" spigot: FOR FILE = 1 TO NUMFILES OF LIST OF CONTAINER OF FOLDER "DUH" spigot: I NEED A SNICKERS deuce: HUG YO BALLS

deuce: WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM THAT'S MY HEAD WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM HELP ME spigot: EAST BAY SPURTS / NORTH VALLEY SQUIRTS

: SPIGOT THE BEAR IS TAPED BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE spigot: THE PUNCH BONE'S CONNECTED TO THE DONG BONE spigot: IT REALLY IS

deuce: THE LITTLE MERMAID 2 pants: ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME POOP OR NOT pants: DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR CUNTING DAUGHTER DID

pants: I CAN'T SEE: BLINDED BY MY BONER deuce: BLINDED BECAUSE OF ITS POWER OR BECAUSE IT POKED YOUR EYES OUT OR PERHAPS IT WAS MERELY IN THE WAY OF WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO SEE: A DISTANT BONER pants: POKED

deuce: MOUTHING deuce: MULTIPLE MOUTHINGS deuce: HOLY CHRIST deuce: THAT'S PRETTY COMFORTABLE deuce: I DARE SAY IT'S RATHER DISTRACTING

pants: OH GOD WHERE DID THE DONG-AS-FAVICON GO pants: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD pants: MUSHROOM CLOUD

pants: I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BONG BUBBLES

deuce: WHY DOES IT HURT SO TO LOVE? pants: BECAUSE LOVE IS JUST ANOTHER NAME FOR HURTFUL PENISES

atandt: I MUST SAY THE JERKABILITY OF THIS PLACE IS QUITE HIGH spigot: YOU AND YOUR COLLEGE MUMBO-JUMBO

pants: CLIMB UP HERE AND BE GAY WITH ME spigot: CLIMBING CLIMBING CLIMBING pants: HURRY spigot: IS THIS A TRICK pants: NO HURRY I'M SAVING YOU A SEAT spigot: I'M NOT SURE I

spigot: HMMM URF HUMPING MYSELF spigot: CRASH spigot: BONK

spigot: YOU ARE DIAGRAMMING ME LIKE AN IRREGULAR VERB deuce: CONJUGATING YOU NOW

deuce: WISHING FOR DICK deuce: T PANTS THIS IS YOUR CUE

pants: HEY HOW ABOUT YOU AND ME FUCK deuce: WELL OKAY pants: WHAT KIND OF SAUCE DO YOU WANT deuce: IS IT AN OPTION OR A REQUIREMENT deuce: DO I HAVE TO PAY FOR IT IS WHAT I'M GETTING AT pants: NO IT'S ALL FREE, WE HAVE MUSTARD BBQ AND FATNESS