spigot: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I'M DOING ON THE CAMPUS THIS LATE, I'M ASKING FOR A RIDE HOME AND A SHIRT pants: YOU'RE SOAKING WET pants: WHAT HAPPENED spigot: JUST DRIVE pants: HOW DID YOU GET A BLACK EYE spigot: I'VE GOT A BLACK EVERYTHING SERIOUSLY JUST GO FAST pants: THERE'S TOILET PAPER STUCK TO YOUR SHOE spigot: UH THANKS pants: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BUS MONEY spigot: I LOST IT spigot: I MEAN SPENT IT spigot: ON SOMETHING pants: OH LOOK THE SUN'S COMING UP pants: WELL COME ON I'LL TAKE YOU TO DENNYS AND BUY YOU A GRAND SLAM spigot: I REALLY JUST NEED TO GET HOME AND BRUSH MY TEETH FOR AWHILE spigot: TOOTH pants: YOUR NECK LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY WAS CHOKING YOU spigot: I RAN INTO A DOOR spigot: SORT OF A CAR DOOR

deuce: OKAY DONE JERKING pants: SUPER

pants: I'M SORRY WE FOUGHT pants: LET'S BE FRIENDS pants: ALLOW ME TO GIVE YOU HEAD IN A COUNTY-MANAGED STATE PARK

spigot: I BONKED MY HEAD

pants: PAP SMEARS FOR ALL : PANTS LEFT THE ROOM. deuce: PHEW deuce: PERSONALLY I NEVER LIKED HIS PAP SMEARS I ALWAYS THOUGHT HE DID A LOUSY JOB

pants: SUCH IS THE WIND-BLOWN LIFE OF A SAILOR

deuce: T PANTS I HAVE A KITTY deuce: PET THE KITTY pants: PISS ALL OVER THE FUCKIN' FLOOR deuce: FUCK YEAH

atandt: I CAN SURE SUCK SOME DICK: AT LEAST THAT WHAT IS SAYS IN STALL 4 pants: I WROTE THAT pants: IS THIS VI pants: :WQ deuce: FAG

spigot: OKAY NOW I'M AN AMBULANCE spigot: OKAY NOW I'M A SCHOOLBUS ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ spigot: HEY LOOK AT ALL THE POLYGONS MMF URF STUFFING DONUTS INTO ME

spigot: HURMPH URMPH spigot: BLKRJW: OIUW$;N %B(* Q+%_) N8934 -=YHRE

deuce: EVERYONE SUCK ON IT deuce: AND I MEAN NOW PEOPLE

spigot: CLASS POTATO : PUBLIC VEGETABLE spigot: POTATO(); ~POTATO(); spigot: PUBLIC: BOOLEAN IS_IT_A_BLACK_GIRL(VOID);

deuce: PLEASE REMEMBER THIS: deuce: MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS deuce: PLEASE ACCEPT THIS APOLOGY ON BEHALF OF MY BALLS, THEY HAVE BEEN OVERWORKED AND OVERWROUGHT AND DO NOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS NOT APPROPRI MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS MY BALLS

spigot: WE CHIPPED IN AND BOUGHT YOU A LENGTH OF ROPE

deuce: T PANTS COULD YOU MODEL MY NUTS OR NO pants: HERE'S TO HOPING pants: AND CHOKING

spigot: AND A ONE AND A TWO AND A spigot: BA-GURRRRRRK

: SPIGOT SIGHS : SPIGOT WAITS A BEAT : SPIGOT THROWS UP

spigot: HINT: I'M SUCKING YOU RIGHT NOW (LOOK DOWN) spigot: SURPRISE spigot: AND JUST LIKE THAT HE WAS GONE

deuce: ARE YOU READY TO **RUMBLE** ?!?!?!? atandt: IF BY RUMBLE YOU MEAN TAKE IT IN THE ASS IN THE ALLEY..... WELL NO deuce: THIS ISN'T GOING THE WAY I PLANNED atandt: IF YOU ASKED IN LOWERCASE THEN MAYBE deuce: ALAS I AM NOT ALLOWED TO USE LOWERCASE DUE TO ONGOING LITIGATION

deuce: SO: ARE ***YOU*** READY TO RUMBLE ?!?!?!? atandt: I AM BREAKING DOWN AND SAYING YES deuce: WHOO HOOO atandt: FOLKS... I'LL BE IN THE ALLEY FOR THE NEXT deuce: POUNDING ENSUES

net: IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY DICK IN MY MOUTH RIGHT NOW I'D BE FLAT FUCKING BROKE (HINT) pants: I DO NOT FOLLOW BUT I AM WILLING TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE

pants: WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE COCKS WHY COCKS HOW COCKS COCKS pants: COCKS pants: YOU SEE WHAT I'M GETTING AT HERE deuce: UNDERSTOOD

pants: DICKS pants: THEN MORE DICKS pants: THEY DON'T / DO NOT STOP

deuce: YOU'RE THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE spigot: I CAN BE QUEER UNTIL SEINFELD THEN I REALLY HAVE TO GET A BUS HOME

spigot: I WAS A LOYAL DEDICATED AND OFTEN VERY STONED EMPLOYEE AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET ?????????????????? spigot: HONK BONK FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST

deuce: GHALGHALUGHLAHGLAG spigot: WILL YOU PLEASE FUCKING SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO WATCH ALL NEW MURPHY BURPHY spigot: HURFY DURFY MURFY SOMETHING deuce: YOU'RE CONFUSING ME spigot: I THINK I HAVE BRAIN CANCER OR WHATEVER

pants: MY BONER IS STANDING AT ATTENTION pants: THEREFORE YOU SHOULD SALUTE IT pants: OFFICER ON DECK deuce: HERE WE GO AGAIN

spigot: THANKS FOR ALL THE MORNINGS OF NOTHING EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE MY FUCKING BONER spigot: IF WE WIN THE LOTTERY, WE'RE SPLITTING IT AND SAYING GOODBYE spigot: SO LONG FATTY

pants: MOUTH pants: PAY ATTENTION TO MY MOUTH pants: IT'S ROUND LIKE AN O

deuce: WHAT HAPPENS IF I INJECT THIS COCAINE INTO MY DICK : PANTS STANDS BACK deuce: KABOOM

spigot: DO I PUT THE PLUGIN INTO THE PLUGINS FOLDER OR SHOVE IT DIRECTLY UP MY BIG FAT ASS deuce: AND THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHEN THE COCKS COME CHIRPING THROUGH MY WINDOW spigot: I JUST CAN'T DECIDE FOR THE LOVE OF HOLY CHRIST

pants: 4 COCKS AT ONCE ??? pants: ALL RIGHT pants: BUT I WILL BURN OUT IF NOT PROPERLY OILED OR OTHERWISE MAINTAINED deuce: I AM WILLING TO TAKE THAT RISK

pants: TURN IT OFF pants: NOW pants: MY HAND IS CAUGHT

spigot: YOU'RE SMOTHERING ME IN THIS RELATIONSHIP deuce: OH YEAH THAT'S RIGHT YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A SKULL WITH A MOUTH NEVER MIND

(spigot): THAT'S H-T-T-P COLON SLASH SLASH HURRRF URBLE DONGS pants: DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS

spigot: CALLING THE IT GUY OVER AND ASKING HIM TO BLOCK LIVE JASMIN POPUPS pants: MYSTERY CLONKINGS AND BONKINGS COMING FROM MY SPEAKERS, VOWING NEVER TO BE FOOLED AGAIN, PROMPTLY BEING FOOLED AGAIN

pants: ANAL FACTORY pants: HARDHAT REQUIRED pants: DAYS SINCE ACCIDENT: 0

net: I AM ENCOURAGING AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE TO KILL THEMSELVES deuce: I MEAN IT ONLY MAKES SENSE: MORE FOOD FOR US

spigot: LIFTING A LEG AND TRYING TO FART BUT NOTHING HAPPENS WHILE ALL THE PROGRAMMERS FROM INDIA SIT QUIETLY pants: WAITING PATIENTLY FOR THE FARTS

spigot: MORE PIZZA AND BEER PLEASE MY PANTS ARE FALLING DOWN spigot: MOTE BUTTER}ED SCONES PLEASE}}}}} CAN';T FEEL MY LEGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} : Now chatting in room #test on jerkplay.jerkcity.com (COCKS)

spigot: SPLURK SPLORT spigot: SORRY DID YOU SAY 'NUT IN YOUR MOUTH' OR 'NOT IN YOUR MOUTH' spigot: SPLOP SPLOSH

deuce: I'M A QUARK-GLUON PLASMA deuce: FUCK MY BROWN ASS

pants: IT'S A MIRACLE MY MOUTH IS SO WIDE

spigot: THINKING HOW PLEASANT IT WOULD BE THROW A BIG AUSTIN INDIAN BLANKET OVER HER, ROLL HER UP INTO A VAN, GO FOR A DRIVE, DUMP HER INTO A PRE-MADE HOLE pants: IN THE FILM VERSION THE AUDIENCE THINKS I'M RACING TO TEXAS TO STOP YOU BUT AFTER A SERIES OF FLASHBACKS IT BECOMES CLEAR I'M GOING THERE TO HELP YOU :Microsoft Chat [X] : /!\ The user pants is not connected. : [ OK ]

spigot: I'LL BE HOLDING AN INFORMAL NETWORK SECURITY SEMINAR IN THE PARKING LOT DURING LUNCH spigot: IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO BRING POTATO SALAD spigot: ALSO WOULD THE PERSON WHO MASTURBATED ON MY DESK PLEASE RETURN MY COAT

deuce: NAZI MEMORABILIA deuce: T PANTS I INVOKE MY FIFTH AMENDMENT RIGHT TO JERK OFF IN A PUBLIC PLACE pants: [44$ deuce: DAMN STRAIGHT

deuce: ARE YOU GAY spigot: YES AND NO deuce: IN WHAT WAY spigot: YES I'M GAY AND NO I DON'T HAVE CHANGE deuce: HOW ABOUT BUS FARE spigot: I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE TALKING TO YOU

spigot: BLAHBLHABLHAB CAN'T SHUT UP ABOUT CURLY BRACES spigot: I TRIED INDENTING THEM BUT IT JUST WOULDN'T WORK spigot: THEN IT CAME OVER AND PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE AND THAT SEEMED TO WORK JUST FINE

spigot: INTRODUCING A KINDER, GENTLER, MORE RELAXED DEUCE!!!! ONLY ON JERKCITY deuce: HI EVERYBODY deuce: I LIKE TO LAY ON THE GRASS AND WATCH THE CLOUDS OVERHEAD deuce: :O)

deuce: I DREW A UNICORN

deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY FUN??? FINGER PAINTING

pants: I HEAR THE DICKS COMING pants: HIDE atandt: A POX ON YOUR HOUSE

deuce: GUYS DID YOU TRY FARMVILLE? GOLLY GEE IT'S REALLY FUN

spigot: IF YOU SUCK COCK AND THEN GET PURPLY AIDS BRUISES AT YOUR OWN WEDDING spigot: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK spigot: IF YOU SMEAR AND SMOOSH DOGSHIT ALL OVER YOUR NEW PICKUP TRUCK spigot: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK spigot: IF YOU *HOMPH*

deuce: THESE TULIPS REALLY SMELL NICE

spigot: CLICK HERE TO SKIP THIS AD OR WAIT 30 SECONDS. spigot: FOLDING MY HANDS RESPECTFULLY SO THE CNET CONTENT PROVIDERS CAN EARN A LIVING spigot: OTHERWISE IT'S STEALING FOLKS (STEALING)

deuce: I REALLY THINK THAT ANNE MCCAFFREY'S WORK IS UNDERRATED

pants: BUT AS IT TURNED OUT THE DICKS AND PRICKS VANISHED THE MINUTE I RELEASED THEM INTO THE WATER, AND THAT'S HOW THE GIRAFFE WAS MADE

deuce: I THINK I'LL SET ASIDE SOME TIME TO READ SOME POETRY

spigot: PUMP ME SO FULL OF SPURT I HONK LIKE A GOOSE

deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY LIKE??? THE LOOK ON CHILDREN'S FACES WHEN THEY GET ICE CREAM

spigot: AND I'M LIKE "YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT" BUT IT WON'T SHUT UP

deuce: MAN THIS RUBIK'S CUBE IS REALLY HARD TO SOLVE, ANYONE GOT A CHEAT SHEET???

spigot: MORNING WOOD!!!!!!!! spigot: I KNOW WHAT THAT IS!!!!!!!!!! spigot: SORRY WRONG WINDOW

deuce: RAINY DAYS SOMETIMES GET ME DOWN BUT NOT TODAY!!! deuce: TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF THIS WEEK (deuce): I HELPED AN OLD LADY CROSS THE STREET AND IT FELT REALLY GOOD

pants: HI RANDS spigot: HI RANDS : Microsoft Chat [X] : The user spigot is not connected. : [ OK ]

deuce: I LIKE TO GO TO SPRINKLES AND WHISPER THE SECRET WORD TO GET A CUPCAKE deuce: SOMEDAY I'LL GO TO MAGNOLIA IN NEW YORK CITY!!! deuce: I'LL BE JUST LIKE THE GIRLS FROM SEX IN THE CITY

pants: PLEASE KEEP THE DOOR CLOSED!!!! SUCKING THINGS OFF INSIDE, DON'T WANT TO LET THE JIZZ BUGS OUT

deuce: I ENROLLED IN A NIGHT COURSE IN ALGEBRA BECAUSE MATH IS REALLY INTERESTING TO ME deuce: SOMETIMES I LIKE TO LIE ON MY BACK IN THE GRASS AND STARE UP AT THE CLOUDS!!!! SOMETIMES I SEE THINGS LIKE ANIMALS AND THEY'RE REALLY FUNNY!!! deuce: TOOK SOME VAGISIL AND THAT ISSUE WITH MY VAGINA CLEARED UP RIGHT AWAY!!!! MODERN MEDICINE IS AMAZING

deuce: I LIKE MARSHMELLOW BROWNIES AND EASTER PEEPS AND CHEX MIX deuce: ALL OUT OF CHEX MIX???? deuce: RRRRRR RAPING THE AIR

deuce: DO THE WHOLE FUCKING VILLAGE pants: HOW ABOUT INSTEAD WE DO SOME OF THE VILLAGE AND LEAVE SOME FOR LATER

pants: IT WAS YOU pants: GODDAMNIT pants: THIS WHOLE TIME pants: CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT pants: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING pants: HOW COULD YOU pants: I FEEL BETRAYED AND AROUSED pants: BUT MOSTLY BETRAYED!!!!!!!! LET'S NOT GET OFF TRACK HERE

pants: HURRRRRRRRRRR pants: MY SMOOTH BONER pants: YOU'VE DISHONORED THIS TALKER AND THIS MUD AND THIS MOO pants: NOW YOU MUST PAY pants: PREPARE TO DIE pants: OF ALL THE NERVE pants: WHAT A REVOLTING DEVELOPMENT pants: OH CRUEL FATE

pants: DOORKNOBS, TOILET SEATS pants: I AM PRAYING, HOPING, LICKING

spigot: T PANTS THERE'S A SINGLE WHITE SOCK BEHIND MY DOWNSTAIRS COUCH, WONDERED IF IT'S THE ONE FROM THE PARKING GARAGE pants: T SPIGOT THAT'S WHERE IT WENT [I SERIOUSLY LOST A SOCK AT YOUR HOUSE] [IT IS SAFE TO HANDLE] pants: HANDLE/WRANGLE spigot: STILL BEHIND COUCH

pants: T DEUCE PLEASE STOP RATTLING YOUR "LIGHT SABER" IN MY FACE deuce: VROOM VROING deuce: I AM YOUR FATHER pants: BONK POKE deuce: VROING BRRRZT pants: PLEASE STOP RAPING ME

spigot: THESE PRIMITIVE DIGGING INSTRUMENTS LATER GAVE WAY FOR ONE OF THE BIGGEST BREAKTHROUGHS OF ALL TIME: THE PORN SHOVEL

deuce: LET'S MASTURBATE pants: CAN'T WE DISCO DANCE INSTEAD deuce: WHAT deuce: YOU MEAN THEY AREN'T THE SAME THING

pants: CAN I TAKE THE JEAN-CHARLES TO THE BUSINESS DISTRICT TO SEE THE TRANNYAMERICA PYRAMID OR WHAT'S THE DEAL

deuce: THIS IS NO WAY TO ADDRESS A CROWN PRINCE pants: MY LIEGE deuce: SUCK BALLS

spigot: SUCKING DICK BEHIND THE SERVLETS pants: ONE CLUSTER TO SUCK EVEN DICKS AND ONE CLUSTER TO SUCK ODD DICKS pants: CAN'T WE JUST USE THE ALPHABET TO DIVIDE THEM UP - WAIT - WHY IS THE S CLUSTER OVERLOADED deuce: A SERVER FEDERATION DEDICATED TO COCKSUCKING deuce: YOU THINK THAT WAS ONE'S OVERLOADED CHECK OUT THE F pants: MEH THEY SEEM FINE (THEY ARE ACTUALLY ANYTHING BUT)

deuce: PROVING ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT WE'RE IRREVERSIBLY RETARDED, I GUESS pants: WE SHOULD PISS TOGETHER AND YOU SHOULD BE SITTING AND PUSHING YOUR DICK BETWEEN YOUR LEGS LIKE A WOMEN AND I'LL AIM THE PISS BETWEEN YOUR LEGS deuce: THAT'S NOT

spigot: GONNA LIVE BLOG ME BEATING OFF spigot: L/ spigot: ; spigot: 9'K9. spigot: =-]-K

deuce: I JUST MISS YOU BOTH !!11111!!11 : PANTS LEFT THE ROOM. deuce: T SPIGOT I DON'T THINK HE'S AS COMMITTED TO THIS RELATIONSHIP AS YOU AND I ARE (WHAT) spigot: SAME HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : SPIGOT LEFT THE ROOM deuce: NOOOOOOOOOO

pants: WAS RE: YOU IN A WOMAN'S DRESS pants: NOT EVEN A FASHIONABLE DRESS JUST A PLAIN JANE DEPRESSION-ERA SACK pants: HEY DON'T GET ME WRONG IT'S CLOTH NOT BURLAP pants: BUT IT IS SACK-LIKE pants: THE PATTERN COULD HAVE BEEN FROM SEARS OR MONTGOMERY WARDS pants: HA HA I LIKE TO CALL IT MONTGOMERY ***WEIRD*** pants: BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE WEIRD PEOPLE BUY CLOTHES!!!!!!!! pants: UNFASHIONABLE SACK CLOTHES

spigot: SHOULD MY EHARMONY PROFILE SAY "I LIKE BURRITOS" OR "I HAVE A PASSION FOR BURRITOS" deuce: A PALATE INCLINED TOWARD BURRITOS pants: WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY SUGGESTION (BURRITOPHILE) deuce: A DEEP APPRECIATION FOR THE SUBTLTIES IN AND AROUND BURRITOS - BURRITOESQUE spigot: I GUESS I DON'T LIKE THEM THAT MUCH

deuce: CUT TO US SITTING ALONE, NOT SAYING ANYTHING, SLOWLY DYING INSIDE deuce: YOU CAN'T SEE THE DYING INSIDE BUT IT'S IMPLIED BY THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

pants: WHY IS TERRAFAG ABBREVIATED TO TB deuce: IT'S TERAFAG YOU FOOL deuce: YOU CRAZY BEAUTIFUL SEXY WONDERFUL FOOL

pants: WILL YOU BEAT ME OFF FOR MY BIRTHDAY deuce: YOUR BIRTHDAY ISN'T FOR A LONG TIME (NEVER)

spigot: WAKE UP spigot: NEED YOU TO GET A JOB SO YOU CAN KEEP MY FACE FILLED WITH DICK spigot: COULDN'T HELP NOTICING MY NUTS RIGHT THERE IN YOUR FUCKING FACE

pants: WHATCHA DOIN spigot: FUCKING SHUT UP

pants: QUIET I THINK THERE'S A BEAR OUTSIDE OF OUR TENT deuce: THAT'S NO BEAR

deuce: MMMM WARM TANGY PEE deuce: I MEAN GROSS EWWW WHO'D EVER DRINK PEE

pants: SIR YOUR TICKET STUB SIR SIR pants: EXCUSE ME I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU NICELY TO LEAVE deuce: RUNNING AWAY pants: PLEASE HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THIS MALL spigot: COULD SOMEONE POINT ME IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF YE OLDE BATH SOAP SHOPPE

pants: HOLD VERY STILL THERE'S A GAY BEE BEHIND YOU spigot: T PANTS GET IT OFF ME *BEEP* spigot: *BEEP* spigot: *BEEP* pants: DON'T MOVE SERIOUSLY HE LOOKS REALLY GAY spigot: *BEEP* pants: IF I CAN CATCH IT I'LL PUT IT OUTSIDE

spigot: I'M NOT COMFORTABLE IN THIS HABITAT pants: T SPIGOT I WANTED TO SPEND MORE TIME FREAKING OUT ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD WITH A GUN

deuce: GOOD LORD, ALT.BINARIES.PICTURES.CHARMAINE GETS HUGE AMOUNTS OF SPAM spigot: BLHBLHB@!!!!!! spigot: SING IT spigot: LBHLASHGLBH AND THEN A @ deuce: T SPIGOT YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY IMPROVISING (AS BLHBLHB IS NOT LBHLASHGLBH)

pants: I AM A PROFESSIONAL MUSICIAN !!!!! MY LEAFBLOWER IS PART OF THE UNIFORM !!!!!! THESE TRUCKS AND THOSE JACKHAMMERS HAVE A PERMIT ISSUED BY THE KING ON HIGH HIMSELF !!!!!!!!!! pants: CUTTING A HOLE INTO YOUR FLOOR WITH THE SAW-Z-ALL IN SEARCH OF THE BATCAVE BUT INSTEAD FINDING FRIGHTENED INDIAN NEIGHBORS AND EVENTUALLY 911 deuce: AND FINALLY SILENCE (DROWNED IN THE TOILET) pants: FOUR MISTRIALS LATER

deuce: STOP FIBONACCING PLEASE

pants: HARD TO EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WITH NUTS IN MY MOUTH

pants: ARE YOU THE CHOSEN ONE deuce: I BELIEVE SO pants: I THINK WE'D BETTER GET STARTED THEN deuce: VERY WELL

spigot: I'M LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AND I JUST DON'T LIKE WHO I AM ANYMORE deuce: SQUIP SQUIRP SQUIRP SQUIP

deuce: IF YOU TOUCH MY WIENER IT PUFFS UP LIKE A PORCUPINE deuce: OR A POPCORN KERNEL POPPING deuce: OR A PEACOCK FLARING ITS FEATHERS deuce: OR A RACCOON SUCKING DICK

spigot: S9-23 spigot: 90GU3WQ]3WG spigot: HELP SMURSHING

spigot: ALL MY PORNING IS WORTH IT IF I CAN I.D. PORN STARS JUST BY THE SPLATTERS THEY LEAVE BEHIND spigot: THIS spigot: IS spigot: MY spigot: LIFE

spigot: CAN WE JUST NOT FIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOG AND THE CAT ANYMORE pants: I WOULD LIKE SOME PIE PLEASE spigot: SOILING MYSELF spigot: ME AGAIN pants: I SAID PIE IT'S LIKE YOU PEOPLE DON'T LISTEN

pants: SQUIRK SQUIRK FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT deuce: I'M THINKING MORE: SQUIRK SQUIRK FART SQUIRK FARRRRRT SQUIRK FART SQUIRK FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SQUIRK RRRRRRRRRRRT SQUIRK FART FTTTHPHPHP SQUIRK SQUIRK FPTHTH FARRRRT SQUIRK FARRRRRRRRT ETC.

pants: PISS MITTENS deuce: YOU SEE THEY'RE MITTENS BUT THEY'RE PRIMARILY INTENDED TO CATCH/DEFLECT PISS

pants: EATING PEPPERMINT PATTIES FOR LUNCH spigot: I BROUGHT MILKY WAYS FROM HOME spigot: THE FAGGOT COUSIN OF SNICKERS

atandt: I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOU MY SHINY WHITE BUM deuce: IS IT NEW atandt: JUST SHINY deuce: THEN FUCK OFF

pants: EXPLORE THE INSIDE OF ME pants: SOMEHOW deuce: WITH SOME MANNER OF PROBE ???? pants: PERHAPS WITH ONLY A FIST

spigot: YOU'RE RAPING ME BECAUSE OF MY BAD ATTITUDE spigot: AND YOU'RE RIGHT TO DO SO

pants: I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO HIS TROUBLES pants: INSTEAD OF PUNCHING AND FUCKING HIM

pants: LOOK WHAT HAPPENED deuce: NOW IT'S ALL OVER

spigot: MY MOUTH REMAINS UNLOCKED DURING BUSINESS HOURS spigot: IF 7-11'S ARE OPEN 24 HOURS, WHY CAN'T I STOP SUCKING COCK ON THE TRAIN TRACKS

pants: PRAY UNDER ME pants: GO ON pants: CLIMB DOWN pants: THERE YOU GO deuce: YOU'RE PEEING pants: NOW: PRAY

spigot: LET'S ALL DO THE DEAD PARROT SKETCH spigot: NO YOU DIDN'T spigot: YES I DID spigot: NO YOU HURPH FAGS IN MY MOUTH CAN'T BREATHE OR GET UP spigot: I CALL IT MICRO$LOTH - NOTE THE DOLLAR SIGN

deuce: YOU SHOULD BE GLAD I DIDN'T TAKE A DUMP IN YOUR MOUTH

spigot: HEY EVERYONE!!!! I'M A FUCKING PEDOPHILE AND HERE ARE MY GIFS!!!! FUCK YOU TO THE FBI!!!!!!! spigot: GOOGLE IS NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE AUTHORS OF THIS PAGE NOR RESPONSIBLE FOR ITS CONTENT. deuce: SPIGOT WILL PLAY THE ROLE OF BOTH THE OFFENDING DICKHEAD AND THE GOOGLE CACHE

atandt: I'M A SPACE STATION deuce: I'M FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS

pants: HOLY SHIT spigot: IS THIS THE GAY PARTY pants: ARE YOU A COP spigot: NO pants: I'M HIDING BEHIND THE CURTAIN spigot: GO CURTAIN

spigot: OKAY THE CURTAIN RISES AND WE SEE A SINGLE GHOST FLOATING OVER A BATHHOUSE spigot: THEN THE GHOST TAKES OFF HIS SHEET AND HE'S REALLY A BAT (OR SOMETHING) spigot: WITH DANNY ELFMAN MUSIC spigot: THEN THERE'S LIKE A SKELETON (OR NOT) AND MORE THINGS FLOAT AND JUMP AROUND spigot: AND PUPPETS

deuce: TODAY I BROUGHT NEW LIFE TO THIS WORLD deuce: I JUST JIZZED ON AN OLD SHIRT pants: SCORE deuce: FOR ITS BIRTHDAY I THREW IT IN THE TRASH: THAT'S ONE LESS SHIRT IN THIS WORLD

pants: WHAT IF FAGS LICK DICK WITHOUT THE PROPER LICENSES deuce: CHEMICAL WEAPONS ATTACK

spigot: BATTER BATTER BATTER BATTER BATTER SWING BATTER / YOUR FACE / THE GROUND / A TOOTH

pants: TO THE TUNE OF "YANKEE DOODLE DANDY": pants: SPRAYING WINDEX UP MY DICK deuce: DOO DA / DOO DA

pants: I'M WEARING KNICKERS AND FISHSTICKS pants: SOMEBODY CRAM ME CLOWNWISE pants: FORCE ME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I'VE DONE pants: WE CAN ALL SHARE THE TITLE: pants: "CLOWN PRINCE OF DICKLICKING" pants: JESUS CHRIST HE'S GOT A FUCKING HERO SANDWICH HERE pants: I'M WILLING TO BE A FUCKING JERKOFF pants: SHOOT ME UP WITH PRICK

spigot: I SAID ****DISCREET**** BLOWJOBS AVAILABLE IN MY PARKING GARA-- SHOULD PROLLY KEEP MY VOICE DOWN

deuce: YOU ARE A STUPID FUCKING WOMAN AND SHUT UP

deuce: SHOW ME YOUR INVENTION : PANTS WETS HIMSELF deuce: REFUND : PANTS WETS YOU deuce: MOP

pants: SO WARM I AM HIDING IN THE SERVER ROOM pants: MY SHIRTLESS BODY GLISTENING WITH SWEAT pants: SLOWLY WE MAKE LOVE pants: I AM INSIDE YOU WITH THE FIST OF A RANCH-HAND WHO KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND TIMES SQUARE pants: THEN I WAKE UP AND MOM BEATS ME FOR JACKING OFF IN THE LIVING ROOM

deuce: SDFHLSFH SLFH SUFHS LFHSLFHLEK HF HELP ME LSHF LKSHSLFHDSLH UIFH SFLHS FSH HOLY GOD NOT WITH THE BIG AUSTRALIAN BOOT AGLH FHS LSFH SLHSL UHDFL HSLFH LSDHF LSFH HELP FLS HFLSHF SLFUH SFUH SLF F BREATHING SLOWLY NOW HOPING IT WILL GO AWAY LAH LSFHSLUFSD FHSL HLUFHSLFH SLUHFL SHEFH ELFHSLKF

spigot: FRESHLY BAKED DONGS!!!!!!! spigot: GAY deuce: AGREED spigot: G AS IN GAY, A AS IN AM I GOING TO LICK A DICK? Y AS IN YES INDEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deuce: HEAD? spigot: BEFORE AND AFTER EVERY MEAL

pants: I AM PANTS FROM JERKCITY pants: PERHAPS YOU'VE SEEN MY FACE ON TV pants: OR HEARD MY VOICE ON RADIO

pants: CAN YOU SEE I'M PLAYING DUCK DUCK DEUCE pants: HOW DO YOU OH GOD pants: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD pants: PLUMP DUMPLINGS deuce: I ALWAYS WIN THIS GAME

pants: I'LL FIGHT YOU TO DEATH FOR THE LAST PRICK IN THE ROOM pants: A PLAY IN THREE ACTS pants: YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO pants: ATTACH ME TO THE VACUMN CLEANER: I AM MADE FOR THIS SORT OF THING

pants: SCARED pants: OH WHAT THE HELL pants: HAW HAWHAWH AWIH LAFIALFDH AILFSH DICKS

deuce: IS THIS HEAVEN pants: IT MUST BE BECAUSE I SEE AN ANGEL deuce: LGAGAGHLAGGAH HLGHGHLGHLGH GAHLAGHAG LHGAHLG MY JESUS GOD THIS IS NOT HEAVEN AT ALL pants: HLAHGLAH GLAHLGHALGHLAH GLHAGLH LAHLAG THIS IS THE JERSEY TURNPIKE HALGHALUG

spigot: HOW CAN I NAVIGATE THE NET WHEN I CAN'T EVEN NAVIGATE MY NUTS pants: IF YOU'D ONLY APPLY YOURSELF

deuce: AND THEY GIGGLED LIKE SCHOOLGIRLS AT THEIR JOCULARITY AND DRANK MILKSHAKES TOGETHER AND WENT HOME BEFORE 10 PM AND PLAYED TIDDLY WINKS AND RISK deuce: BILLY BATS CONQUERED ASIA ON TURN 5 BUT BUT MADE A PLAY FOR THE MIDDLE EAST WITHOUT PREPARING, SO JIMMY, HENRY, AND TOMMY UNITED AND ATTACKED HIM ON A TWO FRONT WAR AND TURNED THE TIDE deuce: INSTEAD OF CONQUERING HIM AND THEN TURNING ON EACH OTHER THEY ALL GOT TO ROUGH PARITY AND THEN DECIDED TO DECLARE A FOUR-WAY ALLIANCE AND END AS FRIENDS [FREEZE FRAME] IT WAS OUTTA RESPECT

pants: NEW MAIL: BIGGERNBETTERX@AOL.COM | ADD 1-3 INCHES TO YOUR PENIS! | 05/30/2012 18:29 pants: EXCITED spigot: I HEAR THAT SHIT REALLY WORKS

pants: NOT SURE WHAT THE POINT OF A BIGGER DICK IS pants: IF SHE SEES IT I'M GOING TO FUCK HER UP WITH IT pants: SOME KIND OF FANTASYLAND WHERE NO MEANS NO

pants: THAT WAS BEFORE I RAPED THE PRIEST AND FED THE PIGEONS spigot: I'VE HEARD THAT ONE ONCE OR TWICE (THREE TIMES)

pants: SO WHO WANTS PIE deuce: DO I HAVE TO pants: YES YOU DO

spigot: DAY SIX: WHEEZING A LITTLE BIT spigot: DAY SEVEN: COCK AND NUTS FELL OFF IN THE TOILET spigot: DAY EIGHT: MOSTLY JUST TIRED

spigot: LET'S ALL ACT UP AND FIGHT AIDS AND LICK BALLS pants: ONE OUT OF THREE AIN'T BAD

deuce: AND WHILE YOU ARE DISTRACTED I ASSFUCK YOU pants: PITCHFORKS AND TORCHES

spigot: QUITTING JERKCITY AND WAITING TABLES spigot: OUR SPECIAL TODAY IS MY PRICK IN YOUR FAT FACE WITH A CAESAR SALAD pants: WE ARE PREDICTING THIRD STAGE SHUTDOWN AT ELEVEN MINUTES THIRTY-TWO SECONDS

spigot: HEIL HITLER EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: YOU ARE GO FOR CABIN DEPRESSURIZATION

deuce: I HAVE STRONG EVIDENCE THAT PANTS IS MOSTLY FAT AND QUITE PROBABLY GAY

pants: FASTER-THAN-LIGHT TRAVEL pants: IS IT POSSIBLE pants: WAS RE: GAY RICKSHAWS

pants: GOD TOLD ME NOT TO TELL OTHERS I CAN HEAR HIM deuce: IF HE WAS THE REAL GOD HE WOULD BE PROUD OF IT pants: I MADE SURE IT WAS HIM !!! I'[M ALL LIKE DO THE WATER INTO PISS TRICK AND HE'S ALL OKAY AND THEN SUDDENLY PISS deuce: YEAH OKAY WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DEFER TO THE JUDGES ON THAT ONE pants: PFTRPFTFPTPFPT HE IS MY GOD

pants: T DEUCE CAT TOYS deuce: T PANTS RRRRRRRRRRR

pants: TELL SPIGOT YOU DID NOT FIND MY GAY PORN QUITE A BIT OF IT IS BULKED UP IN MY COLON AND MY DESK DRAWERS HERE AND MY TRUNK AND ALSO DAD'S VAN

deuce: JERKCITY/25/MALE spigot: CONTRA COSTA COUNTY/40/FAT

pants: I SUGGEST A HARD RESET (RE: HITTING ME HARD IN THE FACE)

deuce: HI !!!!!!!!!!!!!! bung: HI!!!!!!!!!1!!!! deuce: LET'S SUCK EACH OTHER OFF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bung: NO CARRIER

deuce: A HUGE ACCIDENT INVOLVING POO AND BONERS (pants): HOW DID YOU KNOW

pants: DID WE MAKE THE 11 O'CLOCK NEWS AGAIN

deuce: YOU'RE KIND OF BROKEN AREN'T YOU pants: I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN

atandt: HEY EVERYBODY I GOT A HAIRCUT

pants: OPENS MOUTH, SUCKS IN AIR, HOLDS FINGER IN AIR, THINKS BETTER, CLOSES MOUTH pants: WHY WON'T ANYBODY INVITE ME TO THE DONGSML PROJECT pants: IF ANIMAL TRAPPED CALL 410-844-6286

spigot: FOLKS IF YOU'RE FORCED TO SUCK DICK AS A CHILD YOU WON'T ENJOY IT AS AN ADULT

spigot: LADY YOUR APARTMENT LOOKS LIKE A CHEAP HOLIDAY INN IN BAKERSFIELD pants: GIANT RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK WAREHOUSE FULL OF SOBBING ASIAN WHORES spigot: QUIET DOWN IN THERE WHOEVER YOU ARE (BANGING ON RANDOM CRATES WITH A FLASHLIGHT) deuce: CORNER OF HOUSE WITH CURTAINS DRAWN TO SEPARATE FROM OTHER CAMWHORES, REPEATEDLY STOPPING ACTION AND LOOKING OFF-CAMERA TO ARGUE WITH SIBLING/PARENT/PIMP

deuce: TOUCH MY DICK deuce: I SAID TOUCH IT deuce: WHY AREN'T YOU TOUCHING IT

pants: I LOVE COCK BUT I ALSO HATE WHAT THE WHITE MAN HAS DONE TO MY PEOPLE

pants: DEFINITELY GAYNESS deuce: POSSIBLE deuce: ALLEGED GAYNESS pants: WELL

net: INFINITE DICKS????? net: OK THE DICKS WERE INFINITE TO START OUT WITH net: I WOULD LIKE UNCOUNTABLY INFINITE DICKS deuce: THE SET OF DICKS HAS THE SAME CARDINALITY AS THE SET OF INTEGERS ?!?!?!? UNFATHOMABLE

deuce: I JUST PLAYED IT SAFE BY BEATING OFF BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER deuce: THAT WAY THERE'S NO CHANCE OF ANGERING THE BEATOFF GODS

spigot: EVEN OP'S CAT IS A FAGGOT

deuce: WHERE DID JERKCITY GO pants: JERKCITY IS A CRATER NOW

spigot: HOO BOO DUH HUH SPAZZING OUT LIKE A FIFTH GRADE RETARD spigot: LOOK AT MY GLASSES AND HEAD GEAR BUH DUH FATNESS spigot: AFRAID OF SPORTS spigot: SPANISH AND CHESS CLUB OVER HERE spigot: I'M TELLING

deuce: HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL AND YET DISGUSTINGLY HOMOSEXUAL

pants: F A N F I C spigot: THAT'S F AS IN FAGGOT, A IS IN A FAGGOT, N LIKE THE N WORD, F AGAIN, I'M A FAGGOT, CHRIST JESUS

spigot: T PANTS WE COULD MAKE HATS OUT OF CONSTRUCTION PAPER pants: IT WAS ALL A DREAM

spigot: I DESPERATELY HAVE TO GO TO THE T-O-I-L-E-T spigot: DID YOU GET MY MAIL RE: TOILET? spigot: TESTING MAIL TO PANTS ONE, TWO ARE YOU SEEING THIS TEXT TEST TEST TEST

spigot: COULD SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE A SONG FOR ME spigot: BE BJORKY ABOUT IT

pants: FUCK YOU : DEUCE CRIES pants: I'M SORRY HONEY

deuce: YOU STILL LOVE ME THOUGH DON'T YOU : SPIGOT HOPS A TRAIN TO QUEER TOWN deuce: SNIFF

pants: WHEN DOES THE DANCE PARTY START deuce: IT IS ALREADY ON SIR pants: I CAN BARELY HEAR THE BEATS

pants: BRUSH YOUR TEETH WITH ME pants: CEASE TO EXIST WHILE DOING SO pants: INFLATE ME LIKE DIG DUG pants: LEAVE THE BLUEPRINT pants: I'LL NEED THAT FOR THE END OF TIME

deuce: PLEASE KICK ME SQUARE IN THE FUCKING HEAD pants: MY FAG FEET ARE MUCH TOO FRAGILE, I WOULD ONLY HURT MYSELF

spigot: JUST KEEP CLICKING TILL YOUR HOUSE BURNS DOWN

deuce: FUCKCHUNKS spigot: I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU MIX UP WORDS LIKE THAT

spigot: CLONK BONK BONK BONK BA-DONK BA-DONK BA-DONK HELLO DONK DONK DONK

pants: POOLS OF DICK AWAIT ME ON THE MOON pants: NOTHING'S GOING TO STOP ME FROM CHOKING ALL OF THESE DOWN AT ONCE spigot: BUT I HAD THREE BAGELS IN THE FRIDGE?!?!?!

pants: ACCIDENTALLY pants: GAVE pants: MYSELF pants: A pants: FACIAL

pants: I AM NOT A PONY

spigot: FOLKS I HAVE A TERRIBLE SECRET THAT I NEED YOU TO TAKE TO YOUR GRAVE: I AM A TERRIBLE DJ BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MUSIC spigot: ALSO CORDS AND CABLES ARE HARD AND I JUST CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO FIGURE OUT WHERE THEY ALL PLUG IN spigot: YOU'LL HAVE MY RESIGNATION TOMORROW MORNING

spigot: CAN I INTEREST YOU GENTLEMEN IN SOME SICK BEATS: spigot: NVM DEAD BATT

spigot: Y'ALL READY FOR THIS spigot: PUMPING UP THE JAMS SO EVERYBODY CAN DANCE (NOW) spigot: Y'ALL READY FOR THIS?????? spigot: IS THIS MIC USB OR FIREWIRE spigot: Y'ALL REA NOPE spigot: TEST ONE Y'ALL NOPE spigot: TEST TEST Y'ALL R((((((* GODDAMN IT spigot: (((((((((((((((((((((((((( FUCK THIS

pants: LAHGLIAHGLHALGHALG HALGHALGHLAH GALHGLAGHAG pants: AND THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT pants: ANY QUESTIONS

spigot: T DEUCE I LIKE SOMETIMES TO WAVE IT HIGH UP WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE spigot: T PANTS WHO YA TALKIN' TO spigot: AND PANTS IS NOT EVEN TALKING spigot: I N C E P T I O N spigot: FUCK THIS DUMP

deuce: HRU BB deuce: CUCKOLD MY WIFE INSEMINATED BY 2 BLACK MEN 8.AVI deuce: FOLKS ONE THING AT A TIME HERE

pants: STUTTERING AND BUMBLING THROUGH JERKCITY pants: EVERYTHING IS CONFUSING deuce: ON THE WAY TO MORE DICKS pants: SHUT UP YOU

ozone: FAG PARADE deuce: STOP DRINKING ON THE JOB ozone: PARADE == MORE THAN TWO FAGS deuce: EVEN TWO QUALIFIES IF THE FAGS ARE MARCHING IN SOME WAY ozone: THEY HAVE TO HAVE COLORED BANNERS UNLESS THERE ARE TWO OR MORE deuce: DON'T BE RACIST

pants: NOW I'M THE SAN FRANCISCO TREAT deuce: YOU PEOPLE ARE NO FUN

spigot: THE QUEER MAGAZINES ARE FOR AN ART PROJECT, NOT A BEATING OFF PROJECT

pants: T SPIGOT I WANT TO SEE MOONLIGHT KINGDOM BUT I'M AFRAID OF HIV/AIDS spigot: LETS GET U OUT OF THOSE MOM JEANS spigot: FOLKS THE GHETTO U IS FUNNY TO ME TODAY

spigot: WHISPERING LIKE A GHOST IN THE WOODS: (spigot): T H E G H E T T O U

spigot: HOT TOWN / SUMMER IN THE SHITTER spigot: LICKIN' ON A DICK / FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

pants: WHY DO YOU FLY PLANES INTO BUILDINGS deuce: BECAUSE IT'S A NICE AUTUMN DAY???? WHAT KIND OF A STUPID QUESTION IS THAT

pants: FILL ME WITH DIRT AND KISS ME GOODBYE

pants: I LOVE YOU pants: WHICH IS WHY I'M NOT GOING TO EAT YOU pants: FOR NOW

spigot: CD HURF DUH VI ~:WQ! HONK spigot: ALL RIGHTIE

pants: DO NOT TALK TO DRIVER deuce: THIS FILM HAS BEEN DECLASSIFIED

spigot: HBLURHLBURHLUEHB RECOGNIZING THE COWBOY BOOTS FROM THE LAST EXPO BHLEBH spigot: IT'S ALWAYS "FAG" THIS AND "GAY" THAT AND NEVER ABOUT ME OR MY TRUMPET spigot: SAY GOODBYE TO SPIGOT (FOREVER)

spigot: I GOT STONED AND ATE A POUND CAKE LAST NIGHT spigot: THIS IS LIKE SENDING COMEDY INTO FUCKING OUTER SPACE spigot: WELL WHEN YOU IDIOTS GET THIS IN TEN LIGHT YEARS BE SURE TO COME BACK AND SUCK MY EARTH DICK

deuce: T ATANDT CAN I TAKE PICTURES OF YOU WITH MY NEW DIGITAL CAMERA atandt: NO deuce: T ATANDT FUCK YOU atandt: YOU WILL HAVE TO BUY THE MAGAZINE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

spigot: I LIKE NUTS EVERYONE spigot: THANKS WRITE BACK

spigot: ROUGHLY 5ML GAY deuce: T SPIGOT SO YOU'RE SAYING GAYNESS HAS ROUGHLY THE DENSITY OF WATER spigot: I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT deuce: THAT IS THE LOGICAL CONCLUSION OF YOUR PRIOR STATETETETETETETETETETE

spigot: GAVE HER AIDS AND KICKED HER OUT pants: DOO DAH / DOO DAH

spigot: TITS -AND- GTFO

deuce: @SPIGOT WANNA LICK DICK spigot: @DEUCE N BUT PLEASE RT

spigot: T DEUCE KNOCK KNOCK deuce: T SPIGOT WHO'S THERE spigot: MY ASS deuce: MY ASS WHO spigot: MY ASS IS HAUNTED deuce: BUT THAT DOESN'T

pants: NOW WE ARE 14 deuce: MY DICK SOLVES CRIMES

spigot: CAN WE DO A KICKSTARTER TO TEAR DOWN THE OATMEAL'S TESLA MUSEUM

deuce: GLGLGLG pants: IS TODAY CUPCAKE DAY

spigot: VERY FUNNY SCOTTY!!!!! NOW BEAM ME DOWN MY CLOTHES!!!!!!!!! spigot: THE JOKE IS THAT THEY'RE ALL FAT FAGS IN SPACE spigot: BLOWING, HUMPING EACH OTHER

pants: WHY IS YOUR MOUTH A CUNT AND YOUR CUNT A CUNT (OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD) pants: PURE TERROR

deuce: "PROGNOSIS: GAY" WEDNESDAYS AT 6 ON CBS spigot: WHY PROGNOSIS: GAY IS THE BEST SHOW YOU'RE NOT WATCHING spigot: PROGNOSIS: GAY GETS IT spigot: CHEERS TO PROGNOSIS: GAY spigot: CBS DOMINATES THURSDAY NIGHTS WITH PROGNOSIS: GAY spigot: PROGNOSIS GAY: THE MOVIE? spigot: PROGNOSIS: GAY FALLS OUT OF FAVOR spigot: PROGNOSIS: CANCELED? spigot: FANS RALLY SIGNATURES, FLASH MOBS TO RESTORE PROGNOSIS: GAY deuce: PROGNOSIS: GAY FANFIC deuce: PROGNOSIS: GAY UNOFFICAL [SIC] FAN SITE

spigot: YOU ALL GO ON AHEAD, THE PRIVATE AND I ARE GOING TO JERK OFF spigot: AREN'T WE PRIVATE pants: SIR YES SIR

pants: THIS WOULD BE EASIER IF SHE WAS A REAL GIRL pants: GETTING TIRED pants: DUSTY

pants: MOO ???? IS THAT THE RIGHT ANSWER ??? deuce: I SUPPOSE deuce: WE WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED ANY BLEAT REALLY

pants: WHATCHA DOIN' spigot: I'M NOT GAY pants: OKIE DOKIE

deuce: GO EASY WITH THAT HAMMER YOU'RE GETTING CHIPS OF CUNT IN MY SALAD

deuce: I WILL POP YOUR TITS AND PUNCH YOU IN THE CUNT

deuce: I ENCOURAGE SAFE SEX deuce: NAMELY: BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF THE CUNT AND TELL HER TO FUCK OFF deuce: YOU MIGHT GET AIDS IF HER BLOOD SPLATTERS ON YOU, BUT IT'S REALLY WORTH THE RISK

deuce: I AM A VULCAN I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS deuce: BLABHLHABHLABHLAHBLABH deuce: BLHBALBHLABHALHBLAHB

deuce: SO IF I KICK YOU IN YOUR CUNT DO YOU GET ALL HOT AND BOTHERED deuce: IF I PUNCH YOUR DUMB ACCENTED MOUTH IN THE FACE WILL YOU GET ALL JUICY FOR MY DICK net: I'D PREFER IT IF YOU PUNCHED MY NUTS deuce: SHUT THE FUCK I'LL GET TO YOU WHEN I'M DAMN GOOD AND READY

deuce: HOLDING VERY STILL deuce: MAYBE HE WON'T SEE ME deuce: WAIT

deuce: THAT WASN'T ME deuce: THAT WAS THAT OTHER DEUCE deuce: BABHALBHLBHLBHALHB

deuce: OKAY MAYBE FAILURE IS AN OPTION pants: CHECKING THAT BOX

pants: SOYLENT GREEN IS ALGAE, PASTE, SOY AND TOFU deuce: SO NO PEOPLE IS THAT RIGHT pants: THAT IS CORRECT deuce: SO WHAT'S THE HUBBUB ABOUT pants: DUNNO - I THINK IT WAS A MARKETING PLOY

deuce: MY TITS ARE ALL-AMERICAN pants: WEIRD: SO ARE MY BALLS deuce: LIES pants: NO CHECK IT OUT: GO ON deuce: ALL LIES pants: GET ON IN THERE pants: G'ON deuce: I KNOW I'M RIGHT I DON'T NEED TO PROVE IT pants: G'ON

deuce: DON'T THINK JUST KISS ME pants: NOT IF YOU TAKE MONEY FROM GEORGE SOROS deuce: BUT ONLY A LITTLE pants: ALSO TAKE OFF YOUR HIJAB AND LET ME SEE YOUR PRETTY PRETTY OH GOD YOU'RE A MONSTER deuce: LOVE GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO BE FREE pants: OH GOD TENACLES AND TOO MANY EYES AND A BEAK

pants: HEY HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD FROM RANDS LATELY BECAUSE I HAVEN'T HEARD A PEEP FROM HIM SINCE I HIT HIM WITH A SHOVEL AND PUT HIM INTO MY CRAWLSPACE

deuce: I'M AN ATHEIST PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME pants: BUT ARE YOU AN ATHEIST WHO ALSO CONTRIBUTES TO OPEN SOURCE deuce: NO BUT I HAVE A TWITTER ACCOUNT IS THAT THE SAME THING pants: MAD DOG GRRRRRRRR deuce: I LIKE ANIME pants: GRRRRRRRR FOAMY

deuce: T SPIGOT DO YOU THINK KAIYA LYNN KNOWS AMBER LYNN OR GINGER LYNN spigot: I CANCELLED MY SUBSCRIPTION TO ALL THE LYNNS STARTING WITH PORSCHE

deuce: ME SO CHARITY

spigot: WELL I'M MARTIN LUTHER KING / AND I'M HERE TO SAY spigot: I LIKE SUCKIN DICK / EACH AND EV-ER-Y DAY spigot: TEST TEST spigot: WELL I'M MARTIN LUTH spigot: MOM CLOSE THE DOOR

deuce: IT'S ALMOST LIKE I'M MADE OF GOD

deuce: LOL @ HIV pants: DOO DAH / DOO DAH

deuce: WHAT FAGGOTRY pants: THROUGH YON WINDOW BREAKS deuce: BUT SOFT! SUCK THAT FUCKING DICK, BITCH

pants: HERE'S WHAT I THINK BLGHLABGLHG NEVER EVER SHUTS UP deuce: LHGLAHGLAHGLAHGLAG HLAGHGHLGHAL STILL NOT HEARING COMMITMENT GALGHLAGHALGH pants: ALHGLBAGHABG MY OWN VOICE IS SO SWEET ALUHGAGHBLAGYHLAG I KNOW WHAT'S BEST ALGUHABL GHUALGBLAG deuce: LGHAGLHALHG LHAGLHALG HALGHALGHALGH FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF AHGLAGHHLAG HALGHALGH LAGHALGH

spigot: SENNNNNNNNNNNNNNURK pants: I AM SWAYING IN THE BREEZE

spigot: MANHANDLED COCKPIG FANATICS pants: STARRING MERYL STREEP AND TOMMY LEE JONES

spigot: WHAT WOULD BE FUNNY WOULD BE TO REGISTER JERKCITY.COM spigot: CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT!!!!!!!!!!

deuce: IT'S A DEFENSE MECHANISM YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY

deuce: T PANTS HOW MANY HOOKERS WILL BE AT YOUR PARTY deuce: T PANTS BESIDES YOU pants: T DEUCE ZERO NOT INCLUDING ME deuce: > <CHR>

spigot: WHY THERE'S THE DEUCE, MAYOR OF SMARTSVILLE: HI DEUCE spigot: QUESTION, IF I spigot: HOIF OW GOD HOLY PROPS AND PORN HONKING AND PUSHING

pants: WE'RE SURROUNDED pants: WE'RE GOING DOWN pants: THIS IS NOT A DRILL deuce: DO YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER

pants: ANTICIPATORY DROOLING AND WHAT HAVE YOU

spigot: NOT APPEARING IN JERKCITY AGAIN UNTIL WE INSTITUTE A NO CUM DODGING ALLOWED POLICY spigot: NO EVADING, AVOIDING, ABSTAINING, SIDESTEPPING, ETC. NO GIVING THE SLIP, NO ELUDING OR DEFLECTING/CIRCUMVENTING

spigot: T NET LET'S SUCK DICK AND NEVER FIGHT AGAIN net: WELL OK IF YOU SHURRRRRRRRRR

spigot: WE'VE REALLY GOTTEN OFF THE ORIGINAL TOPIC OF WHO FORGED VOICE MAIL FROM ME TO THE WHOLE COMPANY TRYING TO SELL CHOCOLATE EASTER DICKS deuce: NONCHALANT

pants: GET THIS THING OFF ME deuce: IT'S HEAVY HUH

spigot: IMAGINING A GLOSS-FINISH ADULT VIDEO BOX COVER ADORNED WITH CLIP ART OF JIZZ SPLOPS AND VIDCAPS BUT THE TITLE IN NEON PINK IS SOMETHING LIKE IT'S OKAY WE CAN TRY AGAIN IN A FEW MINUTES spigot: THIS NEVER HAPPENS spigot: CAN I HAVE A GLASS OF WATER

spigot: IS THIS THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT OF CYBERSPACE spigot: DOES THIS SLICKED-BACK POMPADOR GIVE ME ANY STREET CRED spigot: LAMENESS AND LIMPNESS IN STALL 4

pants: LET LOOSE THE DICKS dick: SCUTTLE SCUTTLE (DICKS-BEING- LET-LOOSE- NOISES)

spigot: HOLY SHIT THE MARS ROVER FOUND MORE CLUMPED-UP DIRT CLODS spigot: CAN WE GET SOME $4BILLION 100000X100000 HIGH-RES BLACK AND WHITE TIFFS OF THE DIRT CLUMPS spigot: DID THE MARS ROVER LAND IN FRESNO IS THAT WHY RADIO SIGNALS TAKE SO LONG deuce: FRESNO IS DEEP IN A GRAVITATIONAL WELL SO RADIO SIGNALS ARE SIGNIFICANTLY DELAYED

spigot: KNOCK KNOCK / SUCK A COCK (END OF JOKE)

pants: HEY JEW deuce: WHAT UP MUSLIM pants: EATIN' PORK deuce: WEIRD SAME

pants: DICKS IN SPACE deuce: VACUUM DICKS pants: FOREVER EXPANDING, REALLY POKING ME IN MY EYES pants: SOMEHOW THE ONE SAME DICK IS POKING ME IN BOTH MY EYES deuce: THE SAME DICK TRAVELLING FORWARD AND BACKWARD IN TIME

pants: SOMEBODY GET TIMECOP ON THE HORN deuce: HE'S BUSY KILLING TERRORISTS DURING A HOCKEY GAME pants: WELL WHEN'S THE SOONEST HE'LL BE AVAILABLE deuce: 1868 pants: GOING BACK IN TIME BEFORE MY EYES GET OH GOD HOW IS THIS STILL HAPPENING deuce: THE DICK IS A TIME TRAVELLER TOO

spigot: I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO UPSTAIRS AND POUR THE DIRTY SHAMPOO WATER INTO THE SINK AND WRAP THE CORD AROUND THE THING AND PUT IT BACK IN THE CLOSET spigot: SOMEONE COME OVER spigot: THE DOOR'S UNLOCKED, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TALK TO ME, JUST DO THE THING AND PUT IT AWAY AND TEXT ME WHEN IT'S DONE

spigot: MEANWHILE THE SHAMPOO VAC IS STILL SITTING OUT spigot: IF SOMEONE COMES BY TO PUT IT AWAY, I'LL ORDER MYSELF A PIZZA AND EAT IT BEFORE YOU GET HERE spigot: THAT'S THE SPIGOT PROMISE

spigot: T DEUCE KNOCK KNOCK deuce: WHO'S THERE spigot: MY SHAMPOO VACUUM deuce: YOUR SHAMPOO VACUUM WHO

deuce: I'M RAPACIOUS deuce: IN THAT I RAPE

pants: THIS IS SO COOL pants: OH GOD IMPALED ON A FENCE

spigot: LET'S ALL JERK OUR DICKS AND GIVE A SHIT ABOUT COMPUTERS spigot: A PTHTHTH A FRPRPRP spigot: HIS SCIENCE IS TOO TIGHT

deuce: NEXT TIME YOU GET THE URGE TO SAY SOMETHING PROFOUND deuce: FUCK YOUR OWN FACE

spigot: COMPLETE SILENCE spigot: SUDDENLY A DONG RANG OUT

spigot: '''''' spigot: ' ' ' '' spigot: '' ' ' '' ' ' spigot: YAY ITS SNOWING ] ]] ] 0T984 ASKDFJ943 spigot: ANYONE

spigot: I'M GOING TO HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL WE'RE ALL GAY IN THE FACE spigot: HHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH HHHURP pants: OKAY OKAY RELEASE I'M GAY FOR GOD'S SAKE QUEER HERE

spigot: CLOMP spigot: CLOMP CLOMP spigot: CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP spigot: CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP spigot: OVERCLOMPENSATING

spigot: HEY EVERYONE LOOK UP THERE IN THE SKY : SPIGOT RUNS AWAY

pants: COCKS deuce: POTENTIALLY LARGE ONES pants: DANGEROUSLY LARGE (AS THE LEGEND GOES) deuce: HURTINGLY LARGE pants: TEARINGLY BIG

spigot: LET'S HAVE A FUCKING PARADE spigot: HUHGUHAUHGUHAUHG THE SOUND OF POKING AND CHOKING AND THEM NOT UNDERSTANDING spigot: FACE AGAINST THE TILE, STARING AT NUTS AND BOLTS

spigot: I LIKE TO MAKE A PAPER CHAIN AND TEAR OFF A LINK WITH EACH DAY I DON'T JERK OFF OR EVEN THINK ABOUT DICK AND ONLY WHEN THE CHAIN IS GONE DO I SUCK DICK spigot: LET'S SEE WHO'S BEEN FUCKING WITH THE ESPRESSO GRINDER TODAY

pants: THEY GO IN MY MOUTH AND IN MY ASS pants: WHICH IS WEIRD pants: NOT TOO MANY OTHER OBJECTS FIT THAT BILL

spigot: OH MY GOD deuce: LHGLHAG

deuce: I AM MADE OF ANTIMATTER : DEUCE FARTS deuce: FIN

spigot: WHY ARE WE ALL HANDCUFFED TO THE TRAIN TRACKS atandt: MY INVITATION SAYS THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PICNIC

deuce: LET'S JUST REMEMBER MY DONG IS CARBON NEUTRAL FOLKS

spigot: "IT'S NOW TIME FOR ME TO PASS 'STAR WARS' TO ON TO A NEW GENERATION OF FLLLRRRRRHHHHHGG," MR. LUCAS SAID IN A STATEMENT. "GLLLLLGGGGG." pants: WILD HORSE BENT HIS WILD HEAD pants: O MY MISTRESS AND WIFE OF MY MASTER pants: I WILL BE YOUR SERVANT FOR THE SAKE OF THE WONDERFUL GRASS

deuce: I'M HERE TO FUCK BITCHES AND SUCK DICKS deuce: AND I'M ALL OUT OF TIME TO EXPLAIN

pants: I WILL WRECK YOU SEXUALLY deuce: I WOULD LIKE THAT

spigot: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH spigot: HAUGHGUHAUGHLY spigot: HHGHGHHAP HUGGGLLGLHLAULLY

pants: I LIKE DICKS TOO MUCH TO STOOP TO THAT SORT OF BEHAVIOR pants: WAIT WAIT pants: WELL ALL IF I'M GOING TO DO THAT I'M GOING TO NEED A SOLDERING IRON

pants: ANY PORT IN A STORM IS WHAT THE MAN SAID deuce: IS THIS GOD'S PUNISHMENT

spigot: LET'S BOTH SQUEEZE INTO THE TUB

pants: I'M A GAY DINOSAUR pants: ROAR

deuce: HEY LOOK AT MY MOUTH deuce: IT'S OPEN REALLY REALLY WIDE

atandt: HELP ME WITH MY MATH HOMEWORK deuce: ]\

deuce: PLEASE GIVE ME SOME PORN spigot: I'M LOVING MYSELF

pants: THIS AXE IN MY SKULL pants: IT'S REALLY DISTRACTING

spigot: EVERYONE HERE WHO'S GAY LET'S HAVE A SHOW OF DONGS spigot: FLURMP pants: WUMP deuce: BING

deuce: WHAT THE HELL AM I LOOKING AT AND WHY SHOULD I CARE

spigot: YOU ARE SERIOUSLY HUMPING MY FACE ALONG A Z AXIS