No. | Date | Title / Dialog | Players | Tags | |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
7,225 | 1/1/2019 | literally have no idea spigot: does he literally have no idea he's putting his penis in her bottom |
spigot |
#anal #infocom #porn #single-panel #spigot-shrug #spigot-solo #urinal-background |
|
7,226 | 1/2/2019 | golf pencils deuce: it's more of a pencil dick
pants: one of those little golf pencils, not a no 2
deuce: you will address me as sir
pants: i thought you transitioned
deuce: I did but that doesn't mean I wasn't knighted |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #dick #knighted #knighthood #transition #ts #white-background |
|
7,227 | 1/3/2019 | napping between dicks spigot: if i'm not licking dick i'm napping between dicks |
spigot |
#dicklicking #napping #single-panel #spigot-solo #urinal-background |
|
7,228 | 1/4/2019 | in this very room deuce: a crime has been committed in this very room: nobody lick a dick
pants: but who hgulahuglahglhalugag who
deuce: we'll hglhglaghlgh get to the glahglahglagh bottom of lghalghalgh this |
deuce pants |
#cocksucking-noises #deuce-pants #dicklicking #frog #neon-grid-background #whodunit |
|
7,229 | 1/5/2019 | he is merciful pants: god has a plan for all us
pants: even you
pants: he is merciful and bi
deuce: no spoilers!!! |
deuce pants |
#bi #bonequest-fm #deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #fourth-wall #god #grey-background #spoilers |
|
7,230 | 1/6/2019 | don't be ridiculous deuce: BLAM 15 dicks
pants: POW some number of dicks that is not zero
pants: n dicks
deuce: with n > 0
deuce: `(dicks)+`
pants: it's an unknown number of dicks
deuce: but let's call it 15
pants: at once?????????????????????????????????????????
deuce: well they're poking/prodding all at once but not all penetrating at once
deuce: obviously
deuce: I mean don't be ridiculous
pants: 2 maybe 3 tops |
deuce pants |
#black-background #coy-pants #deuce-pants #dicks #drunk-deuce #math #poking #prodding #programming #regex #weird-pants-face |
|
7,231 | 1/7/2019 | salt lick plz pants: MY COW NAME IS BUTTERBALLS
deuce: hail and well met, Butterballs
pants: salt lick plz
pants: open range would be good
pants: source of water
pants: oh you know what would be great is a big ol' bell around my neck
pants: that's pretty much about it (barney fife sniff)
pants: whadda ya gonna do |
deuce pants |
#animals #barney-fife #cow #deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #funloving-nonsense #huffy-pants #moo #mountain-background #sfw #weird-pants-face |
|
7,232 | 1/8/2019 | vis-a-vis deuce: toilet snakes are the worst
pants: are they worse than toilet pigs
deuce: vastly worse |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #huffy-pants #title-mismatch #toilet #toilet-pig #woodring-room-background |
|
7,233 | 1/9/2019 | you're just mad spigot: you're just mad the new dr who is a trap |
spigot |
#dr-who #high-res #single-panel #space-nuts-background #spigot-solo #trap #ts |
|
7,234 | 1/10/2019 | this is the life pants: this is the life huh |
pants |
#life #pants-solo #sfw #single-panel #title-mismatch #urinal-background |
|
7,235 | 1/11/2019 | nice frilly ruffles deuce: Marquess of Cockville
pants: charmed i'm sure (flaps paper fan)
deuce: nice frilly ruffles you big ponce
pants: powdered wig, fake mole on cheek |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #deuce-pants #huffy-pants #minecraft-background |
|
7,236 | 1/12/2019 | piss chalice deuce: a chalice filled with piss
pants: PISS CHALICE |
deuce pants |
#cat #deuce-pants #piss #piss-chalice #single-panel #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,237 | 1/13/2019 | bob lazar deuce: haha who downloaded a Bob Lazar movie
pants: what's that
deuce: a UFO bullshitter
pants: I'd Google it but I honestly forgot how to switch windows so I live here now
deuce: well then settle down, I'll make you a cup of hot cocoa
deuce: (loud farting sounds off-camera)
pants: also a blanket
pants: a big strong fireman |
deuce pants |
#bob-lazar #cocoa #coy-pants #deuce-pants #farts #fireman #gay #laughing-deuce #ufo #windows #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,238 | 1/14/2019 | they all wake up together spigot: decapitating new horizon
spigot: placing the radioisotope thermoelectric generator in nasa's bed
spigot: i assume they all wake up together ????
spigot: get oort of my cloud
spigot: whapping them all with my kuiper belt |
spigot |
#astronomy #nasa #sfw #space #spigot-solo #woodring-room-background |
|
7,239 | 1/15/2019 | the abyss stares back pants: hey uh
pants: i think my junk is stuck
pants: could you go to the other end of this hollow log and see what's what in there
deuce: I see the abyss
pants: well the abyss is staring back at you (bored voice) |
deuce pants |
#abyss #deuce-pants #hollow-log #junk #log #nietzsche #stuck #woodring-field-background |
|
7,240 | 1/16/2019 | that doesn't sell the goose pants: why can't you and I beat each other off normally
deuce: because that doesn't sell the goose |
deuce pants |
#beating-off #deuce-pants #goose #huffy-pants #nu-urinal-background #single-panel |
|
7,241 | 1/17/2019 | warm effigy: mmm piss
pants: warm |
effigy pants |
#effigy #effigy-pants #piss #single-panel #urinal-background |
|
7,242 | 1/18/2019 | to the tune of "for he's a jolly good fellow" pants: a duck ran off with my penis
pants: then a crow took the penis from the duck
pants: and after that the crow just dropped it into the lake
pants: it's all very sad |
pants |
#crow #duck #limp #ornithology #pants-solo #penis #singing #the-sopranos #title-mismatch #white-background |
|
7,243 | 1/19/2019 | piss clams deuce: piss clams
pants: digging in the sand for them
pants: boiling them (in piss)
deuce: feeding them pills
pants: putting them back in the sand |
deuce pants |
#aquaculture #deuce-pants #dongbuffer #drugs #drunk-deuce #mountain-background #pills #piss #weird-pants-face |
|
7,244 | 1/20/2019 | the exact same reason spigot: my pajamas tops have a vest pocket i can stuff pencils in and my pajama bottoms have a rear flap for the ***exact same reason**** |
spigot |
#asterisks #flap #insertion #pajamas #pencils #single-panel #spigot-solo #stuff #woodring-field-background |
|
7,245 | 1/21/2019 | bring our boys back home pants: ---...---
pants: bring our boys back home
pants: then ship them out
pants: then bring them back
pants: our boys should not be comfortable |
pants |
#bonequest-hi-fi #boys #morse-code #pants-solo #pink-floyd #sfw #sos #urinal-background #whisper |
|
7,246 | 1/22/2019 | weird dumb dicks pants: AG-GAG LAWS
deuce: AMBERLAMPS
pants: what about the ghlaghluahgluhalug laws
pants: EDELWEISS
pants: weird dumb dicks that don't belong here
deuce: sorghum
pants: paper mills
deuce: bauxite
pants: groatcakes
deuce: the queer quarry
pants: top of the hill, daly city
pants: sci-fi fantasy
deuce: speculative fiction not science fiction!!!!! hluhlbulhbuhlbuhlb
pants: gnu/linux
deuce: GNU/HURP
pants: hardon |
deuce pants |
#boner #coy-pants #deuce-pants #deucegrin #edelweiss #epic-beard-man #fermilab #funloving-nonsense #groatcakes #man-in-the-high-castle #star-trek #tevatron #the-sound-of-music #weird-pants-face #white-background |
|
7,247 | 1/23/2019 | cool with that pants: have you forsaken me (it's okay if you have, i'm cool with that)
deuce: no but God sure as fuck has
pants: i'm so ashamed and horny |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #god #shame #urinal-background #weird-pants-face |
|
7,248 | 1/24/2019 | can't piss with you watching pants: i can't piss with you watching
deuce: that's not what my archival footage shows |
deuce pants |
#archival #deuce-pants #grey-background #piss #single-panel #surveillance #voyeurism |
|
7,249 | 1/25/2019 | joi deuce: what you need is some good jerk-off instruction
spigot: via lynda.com |
deuce spigot |
#deuce-spigot #drunk-deuce #jerking #joi #porn #single-panel #url #white-background |
|
7,250 | 1/26/2019 | this absolute unit spigot: choke down this absolute unit |
spigot |
#choking #low-res #single-panel #spigot-solo #title-mismatch #woodring-field-background |
|
7,251 | 1/27/2019 | if you don't mean it pants: there's nothing "cool" about calling in sick to smoke dope and watch tv
pants: don't beat me off if you don't mean it
pants: i say this as a friend |
pants |
#beating-off #calling-in #coy-pants #friend #pants-solo #smoking-dope #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,252 | 1/28/2019 | you're my disposable urinal deuce: you're my disposable urinal
pants: I am neither leakproof nor hygienic
deuce: don't care |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #piss #urinal-background |
|
7,253 | 1/29/2019 | wank it now spigot: what part of wank it **now** do you just not understand
pants: how ya doin there skip
deuce: I'll wank it when I'm damn good and ready
deuce: okay I'm ready |
deuce pants spigot |
#deuce-pants-spigot #drunk-deuce #masturbation #mountain-background |
|
7,254 | 1/30/2019 | exotic pants: piss (possibly piss)
pants: confirming: piss
deuce: validating piss
pants: strange piss
deuce: average piss
pants: working man's piss
deuce: Acapulco piss
pants: exotic |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #mountain-background #piss #somber-deuce #weird-pants-face |
|
7,255 | 1/31/2019 | the mysterious case of the spider-purse spigot: spider-man and his spider-purse |
spigot |
#piss-trough-background #sfw #single-panel #spider-man #spigot-solo |
|
7,256 | 2/1/2019 | cooking with pants pants: Cut the apple into thin wedges, then cut the wedges into half-inch pieces; place in the garbage can and eat the entire bag of Ghirardelli chocolate squares. |
pants |
#apple #bonequest-hi-fi #cooking #fat #fatness #food #pants-solo #recipe #sfw #single-panel #urinal-background |
|
7,257 | 2/2/2019 | the only place i can blog safely pants: GAHHHHH 2019
spigot: i'm still writing i lick dick on my checks
spigot: the only place I can blog safely
spigot: nope, wells fargo just told everyone |
pants spigot |
#banking #blog #blogging #dicklicking #new-year #pants-spigot #spigot-points #urinal-background #wells-fargo |
|
7,258 | 2/3/2019 | hooooooooo pants: jack me off????????
deuce: dial tone |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #single-panel #telephone #telephony #title-mismatch #white-background |
|
7,259 | 2/4/2019 | ultima ii pants: why doesn't minecraft have cars and airplanes and copters and rockets
deuce: Ultima II did |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #minecraft #minecraft-background #single-panel #ultima |
|
7,260 | 2/5/2019 | stan lee and steve ditko pants: if it wasn't for the writing of stan lee and the drawings of steve ditko, i might not have ever done none of those rapes |
pants |
#comics #double-negative #marvel #mountain-background #pants-solo #rape #single-panel |
|
7,261 | 2/6/2019 | max hardcore, attorney at law deuce: what we need is a good porn lawyer
pants: GPL
deuce: doesn't exist
pants: max hardcore, attorney at law
deuce: Gianna Michaels, Esq.
pants: the dog has fooled me again, he now has both of my slippers |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #dog #gianna-michaels #gpl #jean-charles #lawyer #legal #porn #weird-pants-face #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,262 | 2/7/2019 | push came to shove spigot: if push came to shove i would say lick my dick |
spigot |
#black-background #cliche #dicklicking #high-res #no-greytext #single-panel #spigot-solo |
|
7,263 | 2/8/2019 | playtest results pants: *last night's playtest:*
pants: 59 logins, 32 unique players
pants: 9 quests completed (that weren't just "Leave the public restroom")
pants: 90 chat lines
pants: 140 parse errors (may or may not be real bugs)
pants: 15 critical errors
pants: 1 crash
pants: 0 bones found |
pants |
#bonequest #bug-report #grey-background #pants-solo #video-games #weird-pants-face |
|
7,264 | 2/9/2019 | PLAYTEST RESULTS (UPDATED) pants: PLAYTEST RESULTS (UPDATED):
pants: 144 LOGINS
pants: 100 CRITICAL ERRORS
pants: 16 QUESTS COMPLETED
pants: 61 INCIDENTS OF PLAYERS KISSING TOILETS FOR SOME REASON
pants: 324 CHAT LINES
pants: SEVERAL CRASHES (SORRY EVERYBODY)
pants: ZERO BONES FOUND |
pants |
#meta #neon-grid-background #pants-solo #video-games #weird-pants-face |
|
7,265 | 2/9/2019 | the transitive property spigot: quick reminder that silence=death
spigot: and also that silence=golden
spigot: so through the transitive property
spigot: i would like a bj |
spigot |
#act-up #blowjob #logic #quick-reminder #radiohead #spigot-solo #yellow-background |
|
7,266 | 2/10/2019 | a cross-over cinematic multiverse pants: hoping we can have a cross-over cinematic multiverse where ted bundy goes to the fyre documentary and murders all the influencers |
pants |
#current-events #fyre-festival #netflix #pants-solo #sfw #single-panel #white-background |
|
7,267 | 2/11/2019 | hey google spigot: holy shit i can just say hey google play bonequest hifi podcast and it starts with #494
pants: weezer is terrible
deuce: I'm a kitty cat |
deuce pants spigot |
#bonequest-hi-fi #cat #deuce-pants-spigot #high-res #podcast #product-placement #shameless-self-promotion #single-panel #weezer #white-background |
|
7,268 | 2/12/2019 | corset waist training pants: corset waist training but for my dong
pants: Editors' Note: This post has been corrected to remove phrasing that was copied from Wikipedia. |
pants |
#citation-needed #dong #mountain-background #pants-solo #wikipedia |
|
7,269 | 2/13/2019 | a stupid of pricks deuce: if it's a pride of lions and a murder of crows, what's the collective noun for pricks: a bucket of pricks???
pants: a stupid |
deuce pants |
#collective-nouns #deuce-pants #pricks #red-background #single-panel #stupid |
|
7,270 | 2/14/2019 | open and shut like a pac-man spigot: first I'll flounce my wrists up and down above my head to "clap back" like a tired old queen
spigot: then i'll blabbermouth my cheeks open and shut like a pac-man |
spigot |
#blue-background #clapback #drag-queen #pac-man #spigot-solo |
|
7,271 | 2/15/2019 | please type y or n pants: do u want to beat me off y/n
pants: you have typed "yes"
pants: please type y or n
deuce: ddddddddddddd |
deuce pants |
#beating-off #deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #ghetto-u #weird-pants-face #y-n #yellow-background |
|
7,272 | 2/16/2019 | space farts spigot: space farts |
spigot |
#bonequest-hi-fi #farts #single-panel #space-farts #space-nuts-background #spigot-solo |
|
7,273 | 2/17/2019 | never move your lower jaw when speaking pants: i can see Vera Farmiga as lydia but i am not sure about Jon Bernthal as johnny-boy
pants: it's easier to talk like woody harrelson in true detective if you never move your lower jaw when speaking
pants: welp i'm all done causing a ruckus for the day, back to my tent under the overpass |
pants |
#homelessness #jon-bernthal #pants-solo #red-background #sfw #sopranos-prequel #the-sopranos #true-detective #vera-farmiga #woody-harrelson |
|
7,274 | 2/18/2019 | dong goals pants: excuse me but i didn't say *DONGLES* i said *DONG GOALS* |
pants |
#dong #dongle #high-res #huffy-pants #pants-solo #single-panel #white-background |
|
7,275 | 2/19/2019 | yer lordship deuce: keepin' it real
pants: word on the street is
pants: i'm so tired
pants: please put me in a plastic bag and then put that plastic bag in the dumpster |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #dumpster #garbage #jean-charles #sfw #teal-background #tired |
|
7,276 | 2/20/2019 | feel my soul deuce: t pants what you need is Jesus
pants: feel my soul
deuce: that's not your
pants: just squint |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #black-background #deuce-pants #huffy-pants #jesus #sfw |
|
7,277 | 2/21/2019 | repeater time out cancel pants: BUGGER YE ALL
spigot: repeater
spigot: time
spigot: out
spigot: cancel |
pants spigot |
#abort-retry-fail #blue-background #bugger #ham-radio #pants-spigot #weird-pants-face |
|
7,278 | 2/22/2019 | collar bombs pants: all these collar bombs are making me hungry for pizza |
pants |
#bombs #hungry #mountain-background #netflix #pants-solo #pizza #sfw #single-panel |
|
7,279 | 2/23/2019 | a military industrial complex thing pants: do girls have wieners or is that a military industrial complex thing
pants: eisenhower warned us about traps
deuce: ja ja, dick und balls |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #bagels #balls #deuce-pants #dick #dickgirls #eisenhower #german #huffy-pants #traps #ts #white-background |
|
7,280 | 2/24/2019 | lean in pants: drill a hole in my head
deuce: I'm a hangover
pants: god is in there (you can talk to him, ask him anything)
pants: ***anything***
pants: no seriously
pants: just lean into the hole in my head and whisper |
deuce pants |
#asterisks #deuce-pants #god #green-background #hangover #sfw #trepanation #weird-pants-face |
|
7,281 | 2/25/2019 | we are typing things deuce: someone pulled out all the stops
pants: did stops get pulled out
pants: that is horrible
pants: maybe we put the stops back in??????? what if they were holding something back
deuce: we are typing things |
deuce pants |
#coy-pants #deuce-pants #funloving-nonsense #mountain-background #sfw #stops #unintended-consequences |
|
7,282 | 2/26/2019 | crispy gaza strips spigot: pepperidge farm mint millennials
spigot: crispy gaza strips
pants: uhhh yeah suck it |
pants spigot |
#angry-panel #grey-background #huffy-pants #malaphor #millennials #pants-spigot #pepperidge-farm |
|
7,283 | 2/27/2019 | squibs spigot: i am absolutely using squibs under my shirt for my next all hands
spigot: any questions
spigot: BLAM BLAM BLAM
spigot: and then i wanna do a big gay GURK!!!!!!!!!!!! and flop over
spigot: can you guys believe i was assassinated just now |
spigot |
#assassination #gurk #meeting #no-scrubs #spigot-solo #squibs #teal-background #tlc |
|
7,284 | 2/28/2019 | a tour de force spigot: critics are calling these bonghits delicious, delightful
spigot: a tour de force (dot dot dot) mesmerizing |
spigot |
#black-background #bong #bonghit #despair-panel #dots #marijuana #sfw #spigot-solo #upskirt |
|
7,285 | 3/1/2019 | passive spigot: more of a passive shooter |
spigot |
#grey-background #shooter #single-panel #spigot-solo |
|
7,286 | 3/2/2019 | please stop cooking all the wheat effigy: t whoever please stop cooking all the wheat
effigy: I need it to breed llamas
pants: more than my boner can bear
spigot: part of a balanced bonghit |
effigy pants spigot |
#boner #bonghit #effigy #effigy-pants-spigot #llamas #minecraft #minecraft-background #spigot-pants |
|
7,287 | 3/3/2019 | the sun will go dead and nobody will know our names pants: what does it all mean
pants: where are we going
pants: there is no god
pants: i have no son
pants: we are alone in this universe
pants: nobody is coming for us
pants: the sun will go dead and nobody will know our names
pants: i can't beat off to this |
pants |
#beating-off #black-background #bonequest-hi-fi #cant-beat-off-if #coy-pants #existential-dread #huffy-pants #pants-solo #pepsi |
|
7,288 | 3/4/2019 | an action item deuce: I sure don't lick dick
pants: then who
deuce: maybe it was (runs suddenly out of the room)
pants: i assume you're going to find out who (sips tea with pinkie extended)
deuce: It's an action item I fully intend to functionalize
pants: well then |
deuce pants |
#buzzwords #deuce-pants #dicklicking #marijuana #meeting #photo-background |
|
7,289 | 3/5/2019 | and sean connery as deuce: And
deuce: SEAN CONNERY
deuce: As Professor Henry Jones |
deuce |
#cricket #deuce-solo #indiana-jones #sean-connery #sfw #yellow-background |
|
7,290 | 3/6/2019 | back and forth across your face pants: blat
spigot: figured out a way to do the fortnite dance so my dong whaps back and forth across your face |
pants spigot |
#dong #fortnite #mountain-background #pants-spigot #single-panel #video-games |
|
7,291 | 3/7/2019 | despite the fact spigot: and you call them licked dicks despite the fact that they are obviously grilled |
spigot |
#dicklicking #mustard-background #simpsons #spigot-solo #steamed-hams |
|
7,292 | 3/8/2019 | same hat pants: BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. DO I LOOK CUTE IN THIS TOP?
deuce: meh
pants: what about this one (1980s movie montage where we try on hats in front of a mirror, beat each other off)
pants: what about this one (same hat, can't fool you) |
deuce pants |
#beating-off #current-events #deuce-pants #grey-background #hawaii |
|
7,293 | 3/9/2019 | approx. est. pants: 900 dicks
deuce: (approx.)
deuce: 900 dicks (est.) |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #blue-background #deuce-pants #dicks #huffy-pants |
|
7,294 | 3/10/2019 | the gay dimension effigy: he swallowed his own dick like an ouroboros and vanished into the gay dimension
deuce: so in other words your average Thursday
pants: there's a **gay** dimension??????????????
pants: **freaking out** |
deuce effigy pants |
#asterisks #bonequest-hi-fi #deuce-effigy-pants #dick #effigy #gay #ouroboros #white-background |
|
7,295 | 3/11/2019 | need know info pants: need know info
deuce: no info available
pants: need know tho |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #information #sfw #yellow-background |
|
7,296 | 3/12/2019 | five and up spigot: one for the money
spigot: two to lick dick
spigot: three to lick dick
spigot: four to lick dick
spigot: five and up, dicklicking |
spigot |
#balls #bonequest-hi-fi #deja-vu #dicklicking #elvis #spigot-points #spigot-solo #woodring-field-background |
|
7,297 | 3/13/2019 | cycle airlock pants: ATMOSPHERE:
pants: BREATHABLE
pants: RADIATION:
pants: MINIMAL
deuce: > CYCLE AIRLOCK
pants: wait what no |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #jean-charles #space #urinal-background |
|
7,298 | 3/14/2019 | facetime deuce: I'm a Social Media Influencer
effigy: SQUIRPY
deuce: I'm feeling one of those coming on
effigy: me too, let's facetime |
deuce effigy |
#deuce-effigy #drunk-deuce #facetime #influencer #mousehole #poo #social-media #squirpy #woodring-room-background |
|
7,299 | 3/15/2019 | sound off spigot: let us know about the dongs in your mouth
spigot: sound off in the comments |
spigot |
#comments #dongs #spigot-solo #the-comments #urinal-background |
|
7,300 | 3/16/2019 | NOTB deuce: need an accurate up-to-date figure on the number of trolls blown (NOTB)
pants: 2 |
deuce pants |
#acronym #deuce-pants #single-panel #teal-background #troll #troll-blowing |
|
7,301 | 3/17/2019 | mark as read deuce: I'm doing ASMR noises in your ear
pants: pffft pssst pssst scrape pffft pssst pst pst
deuce: you got it
pants: pst pffft COCKS pssfsftft scrape click
effigy: [x] MARK AS READ. |
deuce effigy pants |
#angry-panel #asmr #cocks #deuce-effigy-pants #huffy-pants #mountain-background |
|
7,302 | 3/18/2019 | joyful noises unto the lord spigot: you should be registering joyful noises unto the lord
deuce: captain, I'm sensing anger |
deuce spigot |
#deanna-troi #deuce-spigot #farts #filename #god #single-panel #star-trek #white-background |
|
7,303 | 3/19/2019 | shinebox pants: it's your shinebox mister i don't wanna tell you what to do but i think you should go get it
deuce: I don't want to get off on a rant here but GET YOUR FUCKING SHINEBOX
pants: won't someone rid me of this turbulent NOT HAVING SHINEBOX Motherfucker |
deuce pants |
#blue-background #dennis-miller #deuce-pants #goodfellas #henry-ii #murder-in-the-cathedral #shinebox #thomas-becket |
|
7,304 | 3/20/2019 | put your back into it pants: COCKS
deuce: that's horrible
pants: sorry
deuce: you can do it put your back into it
pants: i will not do that
deuce: you will |
deuce pants |
#cocks #deuce-pants #genital-mutilation #ice-cube #urinal-background |
|
7,305 | 3/21/2019 | slow down lady deuce: I could sure go for some jerk off instruction right now (because I never learned how)
pants: Does it come in a bottle or is it a fountain drink
deuce: sorry I only respond to the pronouns _fuck_ and _you_
spigot: as long as that instruction shows me what I'm supposed to do with my hands
spigot: um SLOW DOWN lady |
deuce pants spigot |
#deuce-pants-spigot #jerking #joi #masturbation #mousehole #tiki #woodring-room-background |
|
7,306 | 3/22/2019 | always with the scenarios spigot: t lady are you saying I should roll snake eyes
spigot: are you signaling the waiter you're ready for fresh ground pepper
spigot: stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself |
spigot |
#joi #scenarios #sfw #spigot-solo #waiter #woodring-room-background |
|
7,307 | 3/23/2019 | bash the fash pants: DEPRECATION: Python 2.7 will reach the end of its life on January 1st, 2020. Please upgrade your Python as Python 2.7 won't be maintained after that date.
pants: drown all nerds is what my bumper sticker will say
pants: bash the fash, all cops are bastards, bring back the guillotine, why did i find my dungeon master's guide smeared with coffee grounds in the trash |
pants |
#acab #coffee #dungeons-and-dragons #fascism #nerds #pants-solo #programming #python #white-background |
|
7,308 | 3/24/2019 | crawlspace deuce: breasts
pants: no
deuce: y
pants: i need advance notice next time (E_CRAWLSPACE_FULL) |
deuce pants |
#breasts #deuce-pants #error-message #nu-urinal-background #y-n |
|
7,309 | 3/25/2019 | call it fagface pants: call it friendo
spigot: friendo is actually culturally insensitive, we prefer retardo (with a hard R) or fagface (with 2 long spluttery limpwristed F's) |
pants spigot |
#millennials #no-country-for-old-men #pants-spigot #single-panel #woodring-field-background |
|
7,310 | 3/26/2019 | waiting for lunch pants: burying myself in the sand, waiting for lunch to wander within grabbing distance |
pants |
#bonequest-hi-fi #fatness #high-res #mountain-background #pants-solo #sfw #single-panel #trapdoor-spider |
|
7,311 | 3/27/2019 | can't tell deuce: can't tell whether a piss fetish is more or less gross than a foot fetish
pants: that's a tough one |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #feet #fetish #piss #sex #single-panel #woodring-field-background |
|
7,312 | 3/28/2019 | have you scanned your club card pants: play with my balls
deuce: please place your bag in the bagging area
spigot: unknown item in the bagging area
deuce: please place your item in the bag
deuce: please wait for employee assistance
spigot: have you scanned your club card?????? |
deuce pants spigot |
#balls #deuce-pants-spigot #drunk-deuce #funloving-nonsense #self-checkout #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,313 | 3/29/2019 | dick pics to my large-screen google home hub spigot: there has got to be a way I can send dick pics to my large-screen google home hub in the kitchen while the book club is over
spigot: i'm thinkin' ken burns effect
spigot: if I could suck my own dick I'd never leave the house but also I never leave the house so . . . . . . let's hurry it up women of STEM |
spigot |
#dick-pics #dicks #google-home #grey-background #ken-burns #spigot-solo #stem #women |
|
7,314 | 3/30/2019 | the only one spigot: AM I THE ONLY GODDAMN LIAR IN AMERICA STILL LYING
spigot: i hope no girls read this |
spigot |
#america #liar #lying #no-girls #pushing #shoving #spigot-solo #woodring-field-background |
|
7,315 | 3/31/2019 | godzilla shall not be killed effigy: Restrictions: Godzilla shall not speak any human language
effigy: Godzilla shall not be killed
effigy: Godzilla's use shall not be derogatory to its image
spigot: can we ban capeshit on this sub |
effigy spigot |
#capeshit #effigy #effigy-spigot #godzilla #salt-n-pepa #spigot #woodring-den-background |
|
7,316 | 4/1/2019 | don't wait up for me deuce: t pants clean this zucchini
pants: it's so filthy
pants: don't wait up for me
pants: this is going to take all night |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #woodring-field-background #zucchini |
|
7,317 | 4/2/2019 | dopey, pudgy butterfaces in every discipline spigot: every time the camera pans across a theranos all-hands, all i see are dopey, pudgy butterfaces in every discipline but none dopier or pudgier than eholmes herself *SEND*
deuce: she is extremely doofusy
spigot: (baritone) one alcohol please
spigot: did we ever get confirmation she's been blacked |
deuce spigot |
#blacked #deuce-spigot #drunk-deuce #futurama #grey-background #gun #theranos |
|
7,318 | 4/3/2019 | a little tired deuce: you're a national treasure
pants: does god love me
deuce: he's sort of indifferent
deuce: but not really hostile
deuce: just a little tired of your shit
pants: who wouldn't be |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #god #pants-deuce #tv #urinal-background |
|
7,319 | 4/4/2019 | thanks for the gold spigot: SUCK A DICK
spigot: thanks for the gold kind stranger |
spigot |
#filename #kitty #mountain-background #spigot-solo |
|
7,320 | 4/5/2019 | upgrade your subscription today spigot: you've blown 2 trolls of your monthly limit (4). upgrade your subscription today
spigot: we see you love blowing trolls
spigot: You are blowing *3 of 4 free trolls* this month |
spigot |
#paywall #spigot-solo #troll-blowing #trolls #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,321 | 4/6/2019 | both spigot: fap or trap
effigy: ...both? |
effigy spigot |
#effigy #effigy-spigot #fap #nu-urinal-background #single-panel #spigot #trap |
|
7,322 | 4/7/2019 | origami furniture that magically unfolds spigot: yes please more origami furniture that magically unfolds into sharp wooden shapes that pinch my dick off |
spigot |
#dick #furniture #genital-mutilation #mousehole #single-panel #spigot-solo #woodring-room-background |
|
7,323 | 4/8/2019 | going to the bathroom spigot: going to the bathroom on children will make america great again |
spigot |
#america #low-res #maga #mother #single-panel #spigot-solo #toilet #woodring-field-background |
|
7,324 | 4/9/2019 | the two rules of design spigot: the two rules of design:
spigot: if it's gay GET RID OF IT
spigot: if it's gay LEAVE IT IN |
spigot |
#gay #mountain-background #rules #spigot-solo |
|
7,325 | 4/10/2019 | what's up seattle spigot: WHAT'S UP SEATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! beer bottle |
spigot |
#high-res #seattle #sfw #single-panel #spigot-solo #violence #white-background |
|
7,326 | 4/11/2019 | bam auto-flush right in the face pants: does your office have those fancy toilets that automatically flush for you
spigot: they do and they all have bidets which i kindly crank up to the coldest temps and the strongest jets
pants: do you also have that problem where you're inspecting your poo and the thing rudely flushes into your face
spigot: oops-dropped-my-phone is more of a problem when it falls into the sink because that faucet-auto-on happens immediately
pants: sometimes i'll be kneeing in front of the bowl looking over the contents when bam auto-flush
deuce: t pants permission to lick dick |
deuce pants spigot |
#bidet #pants-spigot #poo #sfw #toilet #toilet-antics #urinal-background #weird-pants-face |
|
7,327 | 4/12/2019 | type "engage" deuce: farting it up
pants: scanning the horizon for farts
deuce: farts detected
pants: set course for farts
deuce: course set, type `engage` to lick dick
pants: > GO FARTS |
deuce pants |
#coy-pants #deuce-pants #dicklicking #drunk-deuce #farts #infocom #mr-show #space-nuts-background |
|
7,328 | 4/13/2019 | nobody cared spigot: nobody cared who I was until I pulled out my dong |
spigot |
#bane #batman #dong #drip #mountain-background #single-panel #spigot-solo #the-dark-knight |
|
7,329 | 4/14/2019 | disney songs deuce: let's sing Disney songs
pants: t r a n n y v i s i o n |
deuce pants |
#blue-background #deuce-pants #disney #single-panel #trannyvision #ts |
|
7,330 | 4/15/2019 | what a great view spigot: all these lofts going up
spigot: WOW WHAT A GREAT VIEW
spigot: nope another loft built up right in front of that
spigot: and in front of that
spigot: etc etc turtles
spigot: right into the marshland so the buildings all start sinking in the same order
spigot: and the view is now in the opposite direction |
spigot |
#cities #commentary #loft #sfw #spigot-solo #turtles #white-background |
|
7,331 | 4/16/2019 | exactly the right amount net: my dick has exactly the right amount of horseyness |
net |
#arbys #black-background #dicks #high-res #horse #horseyness #net-solo #single-panel |
|
7,332 | 4/17/2019 | emergency traffic pants: i would like some oral history please
spigot: break break
spigot: emergency traffic for the net
spigot: (spluttery shit) |
pants spigot |
#ham-radio #mousehole #pants-spigot #shit #spigot-points #woodring-room-background |
|
7,333 | 4/18/2019 | don't leave me hanging pants: accidentally caught some low-hanging speaker wire in the vacuum cleaner, can't hear anything out of the right side now
effigy: quantum entanglement |
effigy pants |
#effigy #effigy-pants #physics #sfw #single-panel #woodring-field-background |
|
7,334 | 4/19/2019 | normal complete sentence spigot: i don't blank panels unless they add weight between lines and i don't like spoilers in the title
spigot: i don't blank panels. normal complete sentence. |
spigot |
#filler-panel #lying #meta #sfw #spigot-solo #woodring-field-background |
|
7,335 | 4/20/2019 | st. john the baptist uncredited lady: st. john's / may i help you
spigot: is this st. john the baptist
uncredited lady: yes it is
spigot: i wondered if there was someone around who could tell me about church
uncredited lady: um
spigot: ok
uncredited lady: yes
spigot: see right now i'm in something called the church of joe's dick
spigot: and this guy joe comes over every sunday
spigot: and he flops his dick around in my face
spigot: and rubs his balls all over my lips
spigot: he pisses in my hair and up my nose
spigot: i don't think it's for me
spigot: can you tell me if catholicism is any different |
spigot |
#balls #bonequest-hi-fi #catholicism #church #crank-o-matic #dick #girl #girl-spigot #joes-dick #phone #piss #religion #telephone #telephony #uncredited-character #woodring-room-background |
|
7,336 | 4/21/2019 | still open spigot: would you close your robe
spigot:
deuce:
spigot:
deuce:
spigot:
deuce:
spigot:
deuce:
spigot:
deuce:
spigot: it's still open there |
deuce spigot |
#bathrobe #deuce-spigot #drunk-deuce #sfw #silence #white-background |
|
7,337 | 4/22/2019 | girls who code spigot: girls who code
spigot: it's obviously tinkle |
spigot |
#filename #neon-grid-background #piss #spigot-solo #squirting #upskirt #women |
|
7,338 | 4/23/2019 | loaded and unloaded pants: i got stuck in a block between loaded and unloaded chunks
deuce: hot dogs are a subset of corn dogs but neither is a subset of dogs (FYI) |
deuce pants |
#corn-dog #deuce-pants #dogs #high-res #hot-dog #hot-dogs #minecraft #minecraft-background #single-panel #taxonomy |
|
7,339 | 4/24/2019 | it's some kind of tea room anyway pants: forced to give head in the toilet
pants: april fool's!!!!!!!!
pants: i didn't say stop |
pants |
#dicklicking #pants-solo #red-background #toilet |
|
7,340 | 4/25/2019 | why the fuck spigot: why the fuck am i climbing on a chair to put my smoke alarm up there, it's fine doing its work on the table
spigot: i don't give a shit if there's smoke way the fuck up there
spigot: yes i made toast |
spigot |
#cooking #doop #fire #safety #spigot-solo #toast #woodring-room-background |
|
7,341 | 4/26/2019 | knitting needles pants: putting knitting needles in my bottom
deuce: that's where they go now
pants: now we know where to find them
deuce: your bottom is a knitting needle receptacle
deuce: knitting needle primary storage |
deuce pants |
#bottom #butt #deuce-pants #insertion #knitting #urinal-background |
|
7,342 | 4/27/2019 | so fucking stupid and irritating deuce: why did you deadname my balls
pants: ahem deadname is my slave name
deuce: weird, it's my porn name |
deuce pants |
#balls #deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #mountain-background #porn #trans |
|
7,343 | 4/28/2019 | a class act pants: i drink piss from a glass
deuce: because you're a class act |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #elegance #incest #piss #single-panel #urophagia #white-background |
|
7,344 | 4/29/2019 | the blame game deuce: piss sticks are like fish sticks but different
spigot: i would say they are both frozen
deuce: right
deuce: but one tastes fishy and the other tastes pissy
spigot: i won't play the blame game |
deuce spigot |
#deuce-spigot #dongs #piss #seafood #spigot-points #vivid-cerulean-background |
|
7,345 | 4/30/2019 | the reboot spigot: who's excited for the reboot of my dick in their mouth |
spigot |
#dick #kodak-moment #mouth #movies #reboot #single-panel #spigot-solo #woodring-field-background |
|
7,346 | 5/1/2019 | make money fast ask me how pants: i would put u up my butt and leave u there
pants: u would be safe living my butt i would care for u
pants: build a house and make a family and live life as u see fit (in my butt)
pants: if u want i can take u out and piss on u sometimes
pants: u and i will grow old 2gether |
pants |
#anal-vore #ghetto-u #pants-solo #piss #woodring-room-background |
|
7,347 | 5/2/2019 | beneath the stars deuce: when are we going to lick dick beneath the stars |
deuce |
#bonequest-hi-fi #deuce #deuce-solo #dicklicking #high-res #single-panel #space-nuts-background |
|
7,348 | 5/3/2019 | brachs jelly nougats spigot: brachs jelly nougats
deuce: nope
deuce: I would like it stated for the record and posterity that _nougat_ looks like it's spelled wrong but it is not
deuce: thank u for ur attention (now fuck me more in the ass) |
deuce spigot |
#butt-sex #deuce-spigot #ghetto-u #nougat #spelling #woodring-field-background |
|
7,349 | 5/4/2019 | and viewers like you spigot: the pants and melinda gates foundation |
pants spigot |
#melinda-gates #pants-spigot #philanthropy #piss #single-panel #uncredited-character #woodring-room-background |
|
7,350 | 5/5/2019 | jackoff planet pants: jackoff planet
deuce: beatoff aisle
spigot: walgreens |
deuce pants spigot |
#beating-off #deuce-pants-spigot #mountain-background #spigot-points #walgreens #weird-pants-face |
|
7,351 | 5/6/2019 | all who doubt me pants: all who doubt me must suck cock
spigot: doo dah / doo dah |
pants spigot |
#camptown-races #cocksucking #huffy-pants #pants-spigot #singing #toilet #toilet-pig #woodring-field-background |
|
7,352 | 5/7/2019 | the only gluten-free item on the menu pants: i'll have the fat boy's asshole (it's the only gluten-free item on the menu)
deuce: oh my |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #fat #gluten-free #single-panel #white-background |
|
7,353 | 5/8/2019 | this is hot dog actual pants: buster cunt
deuce: did not copy your last
effigy: I DEMAND HOT DOGS FOR LUNCH
deuce: BUSTER CUNT 2 THIS IS HOT DOG ACTUAL
pants: i'll meet ya out back
deuce: ja, ja |
deuce effigy pants |
#deuce-effigy-pants #food #funloving-nonsense #german #grey-background #hot-dog #lunch #radio |
|
7,354 | 5/9/2019 | what does that even mean pants: what say you and me trade horses
deuce: what does that even mean
pants: it's what the script says |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #horse #meta #sfw #woodring-field-background |
|
7,355 | 5/10/2019 | a beautiful haiku pants: beating off into
pants: a coffee can because
pants: everything else is full |
pants |
#beating-off #deja-vu #haiku #not-actually-a-haiku #orange-background #pants-solo |
|
7,356 | 5/11/2019 | a horrible hellscape deuce: Jesus Christ why did I get up before 7
pants: it's cold and stupid out
deuce: a horrible hellscape |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #jesus #sfw #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,357 | 5/12/2019 | forty years spigot: if a dog dies, does it go to heaven
pants: yes
spigot: so if my childhood dog dies we will be reunited, is that correct
pants: yes
spigot: will i have to clean up 40 years of dog shit all over heaven
spigot: surprise, this is a crank call
spigot: clonk ba-donk
spigot: donk bonk donk ba-donk hello oh donk ba-donk
spigot: cause i'm not really good with warm plastic bags
spigot: what i'd do is pretend i was the gate keeper and just hand people scoops like they're disneyland janitors and say it's a 30 day trial period
spigot: how we doin' on time |
pants spigot |
#all-dogs-go-to-heaven #comedy #disney #dogs #dogshit #heaven #pants-spigot #piss-trough-background |
|
7,358 | 5/13/2019 | bonequest annual report 2019 pants: please finish jacking me off before you jack off a totally unrelated dick (or series of dicks) |
pants |
#annual-report #jacking-off #pants-solo #single-panel #weird-pants-face #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,359 | 5/14/2019 | s e x u a l pants: s e x u a l
deuce: so many sex
deuce: do you sex the ziggurat
pants: br rr rr rr |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #deuce-pants #huffy-pants #sex #urinal-background #ziggurat |
|
7,360 | 5/15/2019 | every goddamn time spigot: do they make guinness cans that don't splork out into my face desk and lap every goddamn time
spigot: seriously it's like the willy wonka soap suds car wash over here |
spigot |
#beer #carbonation #guinness #spigot-solo #white-background #willy-wonka |
|
7,361 | 5/16/2019 | jingle jangle jingle jangle pants: t deuce could you remove your gold bracelets when you beat off all i hear is jingle jangle jingle jangle
deuce: unf unf unf nope unf unf unf |
deuce pants |
#beating-off #black-background #deuce-pants #jewelry #single-panel |
|
7,362 | 5/17/2019 | gender-fluid steampunk dungeon crawler pants: t deuce when is your gender-fluid steampunk dungeon crawler going to be released it seems like forever since your kickstarter finished
deuce: never suckers MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
deuce: running away with all the diamonds
deuce: also the dungeon crawler is not itself gender-fluid, the _characters_ in it are (jeez) |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #dungeon-crawler #gender-fluid #grey-background #kickstarter #steampunk |
|
7,363 | 5/18/2019 | c'mon baby let's shake it spigot: did you know indonesia is at a crossroads
spigot: it is |
spigot |
#indonesia #sailors #sfw #simpsons #spigot-solo #submarine #white-background |
|
7,364 | 5/19/2019 | word to the wise deuce: word to the wise: _dick pics_ means _pictures of dicks_ |
deuce |
#deuce #deuce-solo #dick-pics #dicks #filename #kitty #single-panel #woodring-field-background |
|
7,365 | 5/20/2019 | don't forget deuce: I'm going to mix my rice with chili !!!!
pants: and piss
deuce: some piss
pants: don't forget the piss |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #food #piss #weird-pants-face #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,366 | 5/21/2019 | bloopster reel spigot: tfw you suck dick and die
spigot: literally one for the ol' bloopster reel |
spigot |
#cocksucking #dick #die #filler-panel #spigot-solo #woodring-den-background |
|
7,367 | 5/22/2019 | practically the whole internet deuce: that's practically the whole Internet
deuce: including the dark web
pants: what about the jackoff web
deuce: unknown |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #jackoff #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,368 | 5/23/2019 | on freezing piss pants: i like the piss sticks made fresh not the frozen ones
deuce: but freezing piss is the only way to make it solid???
pants: you can also give them a stern look and they go into stick form right away and if that doesn't work ask to speak to their manager
deuce: the husband of the manager
pants: a woman manager??????????????????? <h1>give me a break</h1> |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #grey-background #html #manager #piss |
|
7,369 | 5/24/2019 | the whole folder goes in the trash spigot: if a movie or tv show has more than 3 seconds of a baby crying, the whole folder goes in the trash |
spigot |
#baby #crying #movies #nu-urinal-background #sfw #single-panel #spigot-solo #television |
|
7,370 | 5/25/2019 | backed by the dicks gem deuce: DICKS = ['8=D ', '8=D~ ', '8=D~~ ', '8=D~~~ ', '8==D ', '8==D~ ', '8==D~~ ', '8==D~~~ ', '8===D ', '8===D~ ', '8===D~~ ', '8===D~~~ ', '8====D ', '8====D~ ', '8====D~~ ', '8====D~~~ ', '8=====D ', '8=====D~ ', '8=====D~~ ', '8=====D~~~ ', '8======D ', '8======D~ ', '8======D~~ ', '8======D~~~ ', '8=======D ', '8=======D~ ', '8=======D~~ ', '8=======D~~~ ', '8========D ', '8========D~ ', '8========D~~ ', '8========D~~~ ', '8=========D ', '8=========D~ ', '8=========D~~ ', '8=========D~~~ ', '8==========D ', '8==========D~ ', '8==========D~~ ', '8==========D~~~ ', '8===========D ', '8===========D~ ', '8===========D~~ ', '8===========D~~~ ', '8============D ', '8============D~ ', '8============D~~ ', '8============D~~~ ', '8@=D ', '8@=D~ ', '8@=D~~ ', '8@=D~~~ ', '8@==D ', '8@==D~ ', '8@==D~~ ', '8@==D~~~ ', '8@===D ', '8@===D~ ', '8@===D~~ ', '8@===D~~~ ', '8@====D ', '8@====D~ ', '8@====D~~ ', '8@====D~~~ ', '8@=====D ', '8@=====D~ ', '8@=====D~~ ', '8@=====D~~~ ', '8@======D ', '8@======D~ ', '8@======D~~ ', '8@======D~~~ ', '8@=======D ', '8@=======D~ ', '8@=======D~~ ', '8@=======D~~~ ', '8@========D ', '8@========D~ ', '8@========D~~ ', '8@========D~~~ ', '8@=========D ', '8@=========D~ ', '8@=========D~~ ', '8@=========D~~~ ', '8@==========D ', '8@==========D~ ', '8@==========D~~ ', '8@==========D~~~ ', '8@===========D ', '8@===========D~ ', '8@===========D~~ ', '8@===========D~~~ ', '8@============D ', '8@============D~ ', '8@============D~~ ', '8@============D~~~ '] |
deuce |
#array #ascii #blue-background #bonequest-hi-fi #deuce #deuce-solo #dicks #dicks-gem #single-panel |
|
7,371 | 5/26/2019 | trust but verify pants: do u even kno how 2 jack me off
deuce: no
pants: well good
pants: trust but verify |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #ghetto-u #handjob #woodring-field-background |
|
7,372 | 5/27/2019 | a few of my favorite things revisited spigot: I LOVE TO DOWNLOAD AND EAT CORN DOGS |
spigot |
#bonequest-hi-fi #corn-dog #download #love #pee #sfw #spigot-solo #woodring-field-background |
|
7,373 | 5/28/2019 | which pet shop boy are you pants: which pet shop boy are you????????????????????
pants: [ ] one of them
pants: [ ] the other???????? how many are there |
pants |
#bonequest-hi-fi #huffy-pants #mountain-background #pants-solo #pet-shop-boys #quiz #weird-pants-face |
|
7,374 | 5/29/2019 | everyone's tie-off tube is waving around in zero g spigot: 30 mins into apollo 11 and they're all doing heroin on the moon and everyone's tie-off tube is waving around in zero g
spigot: FAKE |
spigot |
#apollo #drugs #fake #filler-panel #heroin #moon #space #space-nuts-background #spigot-solo |
|
7,375 | 5/30/2019 | but do u pants: i beat off nightly
spigot: do you tho
pants: i do
spigot: but do u |
pants spigot |
#beating-off #ghetto-u #pants-spigot #spigot #weird-pants-face #white-background |
|
7,376 | 5/31/2019 | did i spell that right spigot: *diarrhea*
spigot: did i spell that right
spigot: fantastic |
spigot |
#diarrhea #sfw #spelling #spigot-solo #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,377 | 6/1/2019 | BLAST OFF pants: 3
pants: 2
pants: 1
pants: BLAST OFF HGLAHGLUAHGLUAHGLAG
pants: sorry for the spam |
pants |
#countdown #mailing-list #pants-solo #sfw #space-nuts-background #spam #usenet #weird-pants-face |
|
7,378 | 6/2/2019 | from each according to their gifts pants: ah of course (stroking lenin beard)
deuce: the dictatorship of the proletariat is at hand
deuce: from each according to their gifts, to each according to their capacity to accept huge quantities of dick
pants: the good of the state is the good of the urk choking and being choked at the same time |
deuce pants |
#choking #communism #deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #easy-open #instructions #marxism #physical-comedy #vladimir-lenin #woodring-field-background |
|
7,379 | 6/3/2019 | better than i'd hoped for pants: do you think i'm very sexy or extremely sexy
deuce: I would have to go with undeniably, extremely, astonishingly
pants: well that's better than i'd hoped for |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #do-ya-think-im-sexy #sexy #touchdown #woodring-den-background |
|
7,380 | 6/4/2019 | a moment of silence for spigot: a moment of silence for the heat death of the visible universe |
spigot |
#astrophysics #bonequest-hi-fi #entropy #existential #heat-death #high-res #physics #sfw #single-panel #space-nuts-background #spigot-solo |
|
7,381 | 6/5/2019 | delicious tarballs pants: gonna make tarballs
spigot: are those like lemon bars
deuce: they're a bit like madeleines |
deuce pants spigot |
#baking #deuce-pants-spigot #drunk-deuce #food #marcel-proust #sfw #spigot-points #tarball #unix #weird-pants-face #woodring-field-background |
|
7,382 | 6/6/2019 | going in circles deuce: do you think we'll ever reach the coast
pants: I'm starting to think our covered wagon train is going in circles |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #mountain-background #oregon-trail #sfw #single-panel #weird-pants-face |
|
7,383 | 6/7/2019 | our linux devops podcast pants: t deuce when are we going to record season two of our linux devops podcast "game of chowns"
deuce: right after we receive the signal SIGFUCK
pants: "chapter one: how system administration is like dungeons and dragons"
deuce: more tri-tip plz |
deuce pants |
#coy-pants #deuce-pants #devops #drunk-deuce #dungeons-and-dragons #filler-panel #food #game-of-thrones #grey-background #linux #podcast #pun #steak #system-administration #tri-tip |
|
7,384 | 6/8/2019 | perfectly centered the whole time spigot: when they re-released the sopranos the engineers had to magnify, reframe, chop and crop the old timey 4:3 aspect ratio into the contemporary 16:9 but somehow meadow's tits were always perfectly centered the entire time ?????
spigot: AHULGHUALG
pants: HAGLAHGLUHUALG
pants: i dunno, t |
pants spigot |
#filler-panel #grey-background #pants-spigot #spigot #television #the-sopranos #transcription-mismatch #url |
|
7,385 | 6/9/2019 | erectile dysfunction is no laughing matter effigy: SOMETHING FLACCID THIS WAY COMES |
effigy |
#bonequest-hi-fi #effigy #effigy-solo #erectile-dysfunction #flaccid #macintosh #single-panel #woodring-field-background |
|
7,386 | 6/10/2019 | that third burrito spigot: ate a burrito, then a second burrito
spigot: it feels like two prestologs in my tummy
spigot: no sympathy ???
spigot: fine, doing poos on your laptop and waffle-ironing it shut
spigot: really eyeballing that third burrito |
spigot |
#burritos #fatness #food #indigestion #log #mountain-background #poo #spigot-solo |
|
7,387 | 6/11/2019 | the official position pants: the official position of my dong is that it cannot be soft
spigot: or do you just pour the cement over her and done |
pants spigot |
#cement #chernobyl #dong #pants-spigot #single-panel #spigot #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,388 | 6/12/2019 | chaos theory explains why you're a harlot pants: t deuce a nice cool breeze is blowing up my skirt
deuce: that's because you're a trollop
pants: and because butterfly wings flapped somewhere
deuce: chaos theory explains why you're a harlot |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #breeze #butterfly-effect #chaos #chaos-theory #deuce-pants #harlot #trollop #woodring-field-background |
|
7,389 | 6/13/2019 | top rated porn sites deuce: free lesbiain porn videos top rated porn sites videos couple porn gallerys younger russian porn mangas porn gay
deuce: I don't like all those words
spigot: some are okay
deuce: right but I cannot endorse the entire set
spigot: i would say things like lesbiain are out (typo? who's to say) but also mangas and gay |
deuce spigot |
#deuce #deuce-spigot #gay #lesbian #manga #porn #set-theory #spigot #typo #woodring-field-background |
|
7,390 | 6/14/2019 | no more questions pants: pray with me
deuce: this isn't prayer
pants: it is a form of prayer
deuce: what am I praying to
pants: i think you know
deuce: also why are you hovering over me
pants: no more questions
pants: just prayer |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #prayer #weird-pants-face #woodring-den-background |
|
7,391 | 6/15/2019 | too much carbon deuce: will someone please come up with a way to decarbonize my balls
deuce: (too much carbon) |
deuce |
#balls #blue-background #carbon #deuce-solo #filler-panel #green |
|
7,392 | 6/16/2019 | definitely handsome and charismatic pants: t deuce magneto was right (peace was never an option)
deuce: he may not have been completely right
deuce: but he was definitely handsome and charismatic and sure had a good point
pants: what about piss (is that an option)
deuce: what are your views on genderfluid piss
pants: not a word
deuce: is that because you yourself are genderfluid???? or because you're pissy
pants: the piss one |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #filler-panel #genderfluid #huffy-pants #magneto #piss #weird-pants-face #woodring-room-background #x-men |
|
7,393 | 6/17/2019 | pants up late pants: feelin' kinda cruisy
pants: who should i call???
pants: buck rogers???
pants: superman???
pants: terry & the pirates???
pants: tailspin tommy???
pants: mandrake the magician???
pants: brick bradford???
pants: dick tracy???
pants: prince valiant???
pants: the katzenjammer kids???/ |
pants |
#comics #cruisy #funny-pages #mountain-background #pants-solo #pulp-comics #sfw |
|
7,394 | 6/18/2019 | murph spigot: every time matthew mcconaughey shouts murph he should follow it up with hurf and burf |
spigot |
#high-res #interstellar #movies #sfw #single-panel #space-nuts-background #spigot-solo #television |
|
7,395 | 6/19/2019 | i'll just flop it out pants: jack me off under the table
deuce: never
pants: well then i'll just flop it out in plain view
deuce: fine |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #ding #drunk-deuce #hand-job #jacking-off #negotiations #woodring-room-background |
|
7,396 | 6/20/2019 | 2 big 2 fail deuce: my dong is too big to fail
deuce: not because it's actually big (it's tiny) but because so many investors have put so much money sflksf h4t kherf dfslkfse rfsdfoijhs f4tr9084fg sfdkg skldfsjefsdf |
deuce |
#deuce #deuce-solo #dong #drunk-deuce #filler-panel #financial-industry #woodring-room-background |
|
7,397 | 6/21/2019 | you been away a long time pants: go shit in your hat
spigot: maybe you didn't hear about it, you been away a long time: i don't shit in hats anymore |
pants spigot |
#goodfellas #haberdashery #millinery #pants-spigot #poo #shit #single-panel #sneeze #white-background |
|
7,398 | 6/22/2019 | a big metal box pants: i have polio
deuce: here's a big metal box to live in |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #hospital-background #iron-lung #polio #sfw #single-panel |
|
7,399 | 6/23/2019 | pet cemetary (sic) pants: are you here to warn me not to bury my son at the pet cemetary
spigot: i thought there would be fluttering flags and cartwheeling clowns
pants: executive producer: james franco |
pants spigot |
#death #james-franco #pants-spigot #sfw #simon-says #typo #woodring-field-background |
|
7,400 | 6/24/2019 | once and for all spigot: once and for all: does tim conway's death seriously mean no more dorf |
spigot |
#death #dorf #mountain-background #sfw #single-panel #spigot-solo #tim-conway |
|
7,401 | 6/25/2019 | unless arson pants: i can't jack off unless arson
deuce: so, still a less weird fetish than a foot fetish |
deuce pants |
#arson #bonghit #deuce-pants #foot-fetish #kinkshaming #marijuana #single-panel #typo #white-background |
|
7,402 | 6/26/2019 | which is gayer pants: grand prix
deuce: Le Mans
deuce: both equally gay
pants: which is gayer
pants: the pact is sealed |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #gay #racing #white-background |
|
7,403 | 6/27/2019 | at least we both have each other pants: smells like an adult bookstore in here |
pants |
#chlorine #clamping #pants-solo #single-panel #urinal-background |
|
7,404 | 6/28/2019 | the fixer spigot: so fucking bored of my gay life
pants: have you tried drinking
spigot: yes, but all 6 local district liquor stores cannot keep up with my guinness intake - they keep running out
pants: okay well have you tried ordering pizza or chinese food
spigot: okay now i know why they call you the fixer |
pants spigot |
#alcoholism #chinese-food #fixer #gay #guinness #mountain-background #pants-spigot #pizza |
|
7,405 | 6/29/2019 | returning to the same themes pants: we keep returning to the same themes
deuce: we're not only not that bright but not that original either
pants: also i know i promised to put my urine exclusively in the toilet but here's the thing see |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #meta #piss #toilet #urine #woodring-field-background |
|
7,406 | 6/30/2019 | quiet you guys pants: quiet you guys the ranger is outside with a flashlight |
pants |
#atandt #atandt-deuce-pants-spigot #camp #deuce-pants-spigot #high-res #inebriated-crustacean #ranger #sfw #single-panel #urinal-background |
|
7,407 | 7/1/2019 | jack me off pants: jack **me** off
deuce: 010
pants: jack me **off**
deuce: 001
pants: **jack** me off
deuce: 100 |
deuce pants |
#asterisks #binary #deuce-pants #hand-job #jacking-off #mountain-background |
|
7,408 | 7/2/2019 | for no great reason spigot: i have cosmic background radiation poisoning in that i am alive for no great reason
deuce: the Universe became transparent so that you might live |
deuce spigot |
#astronomy #deuce-spigot #existential #mousehole #sfw #single-panel #woodring-room-background |
|
7,409 | 7/3/2019 | upsidedown in a garbage can spigot: carl sagan just told me i'm made up of fagstuff and not starstuff and then he yoinked my red mervyns turtleneck up over my face and head
spigot: if you can hear me i'm upsidedown in a garbage can |
spigot |
#bully #carl-sagan #filler-panel #mervyns #physical-comedy #series #space-nuts-background #spigot-solo #squirp |
|
7,410 | 7/4/2019 | the cosmic calendar spigot: i've had enough beers to know i don't want to go to school tomorrow, i want to stay on carl sagan's ship of the imagination and listen to vangelis
spigot: can you show me where on the cosmic calendar where neil degrasse tyson touched you |
spigot |
#alcohol #carl-sagan #cosmos #filler-panel #neil-degrasse-tyson #series #spigot-solo #vangelis #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,411 | 7/5/2019 | long long sagan pause spigot: in episode 2 of cosmos, dr. sagan describes how the destruction of an ancient japanese society led to ladies of the imperial court reduced to selling flowers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
spigot: . . . . . . . . . . (long long sagan pause) . . . . . . . . . . . . .
spigot: . . . . . . and . . . . . "other things" |
spigot |
#carl-sagan #cosmos #series #space-nuts-background #spigot-solo |
|
7,412 | 7/6/2019 | excuse me but pants: excuse me but i'm a bisexual masterpiece |
pants |
#bi #bisexual #high-res #masterpiece #pants-solo #single-panel #white-background |
|
7,413 | 7/7/2019 | where are all the reply guys pants: so what do we get paid when somebody hearts our tweets
spigot: i'm annoyed that there are never any comments, just useless hearts and RT's
spigot: usually i hate all the shit takes in the comments, but these are our readers shit taking
pants: where are all the reply guys
deuce: Did you mean: _shittake_ |
deuce pants spigot |
#deuce-pants-spigot #did-you-mean #drunk-deuce #huffy-pants #mousehole #mushroom #reply-guys #spigot #spurt #woodring-room-background |
|
7,414 | 7/8/2019 | down since sunday evening spigot: my pants fell down, he exclaimed to three colleagues whose pants had been down since sunday evening |
spigot |
#bottomless #nu-urinal-background #single-panel #spigot-solo #trousers |
|
7,415 | 7/9/2019 | stuff my bottom with leaves pants: stuff my bottom with leaves
deuce: now you are a flower pot |
deuce pants |
#anal-insertion #deuce-pants #flower-pot #single-panel #woodring-field-background |
|
7,416 | 7/10/2019 | FUCK TOM NOOK pants: FUCK TOM NOOK
deuce: I don't know who that is
pants: you've seen his mugshot, google it
deuce: oh, the famous terrorist
pants: his most recent appeal to the supreme court failed, in guantanamo he will stay |
deuce pants |
#animal-crossing #balls #blue-background #deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #gitmo #tom-nook |
|
7,417 | 7/11/2019 | official bonequest app spigot: where's the official bq app that takes your photo and draws FAG across the bottom with an up arrow |
spigot |
#app #bonequest #bq #fag #mountain-background #single-panel #spigot-solo #trap |
|
7,418 | 7/12/2019 | beat me off tonight pants: beat me off tonight (let's say 6pm)
deuce: just before your bedtime |
deuce pants |
#beat-off #bedtime #deuce-pants #eddie-money #handjob #single-panel #weird-pants-face #white-background |
|
7,419 | 7/13/2019 | sour apples and ozone deuce: why do I taste sour apples
deuce: why do I smell ozone
deuce: hurk 10 Sv absorbed dose
deuce: roentgens or milliroentgens??? hurk |
deuce |
#cows #deuce-ozone #filler-panel #radiation #uncredited-character #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,420 | 7/14/2019 | right in the mommyhole pants: piss people
deuce: is that "Piss, people!" as in "[Here is the] piss, people!" or "Piss, people!" as in "[You must now] piss, people!" or "piss people" as in people made of piss
pants: it is people that have a shared interest in piss, similarly to party people
deuce: so none of the above
pants: right in the mommyhole |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #grammar #mommyhole #piss #piss-people #woodring-room-background |
|
7,421 | 7/15/2019 | why does it look like a pigtail deuce: can we talk seriously now about your penis
pants: k
deuce: why does it look like a pigtail
pants: only god can judge me
deuce: oh he's going to do that like a bat out of a hell but that doesn't mean you're not required to answer the question was: re: pigtail (man is he going to go to town on you) |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #god #grey-background #penis #was-re |
|
7,422 | 7/16/2019 | to all the times deuce: `self.canonicalizer.canonicalize(filename)`
deuce: I LIKE WORDS
spigot: just a quick shoutout to all the times you sit on the toilet thinking you have only one guinness left but when you open the fridge you see a complete 4-pack |
deuce spigot |
#alcohol #beer #deuce-spigot #drunk-deuce #filename #guinness #java #muppets #spigot-points #toilet #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,423 | 7/17/2019 | commercial break pants: do you want to stand around and look bored while i try and gather enough enthusiasm to masturbate
deuce: fuck yes!!!!!
pants: we'll be right back after these messages |
deuce pants |
#advertising #comic-chat #deuce-pants #irc #masturbation #woodring-field-background |
|
7,424 | 7/18/2019 | a place of silent reflection pants: let's make the stall a place of silent reflection from now on |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #high-res #single-panel #stall #stalls #true-detective #urinal-background |
|
7,425 | 7/19/2019 | you might say that but pants: you might say i struggle under low-light conditions
effigy: you might say that I am "dishwasher safe" |
effigy pants |
#coy-pants #effigy-pants #mousehole #sfw #single-panel #woodring-room-background #you-might-say |
|
7,426 | 7/20/2019 | could we request a clarification pants: who wants to choke on some unspecified object
deuce: could we request a clarification re: unspecified object
pants: rather not
deuce: I see
pants: it's a surprise |
deuce pants |
#choking #deuce-pants #yellow-background |
|
7,427 | 7/21/2019 | tricked again pants: do all girls like having their dicks sucked or was i tricked again
deuce: wait are we
deuce: checks books, types things into an adding machine, writes down shit with pencil
deuce: nope that checks out |
deuce pants |
#cocksucking #deuce-pants #dickgirls #traps #ts #woodring-room-background |
|
7,428 | 7/22/2019 | three steps ahead spigot: why do i bring my A game to this moo/mud
deuce: you're always thinking three steps ahead when your audience is only capable of 1/2, maybe 1 step
pants: i was hoping for butter on safeway french bread |
deuce pants spigot |
#deuce-pants-spigot #food #high-res #moo #mud #online-gaming #safeway #sfw #single-panel #white-background |
|
7,429 | 7/23/2019 | smoosh spigot: t deuce may i speak with you
spigot: i'm going to put my face right here just slightly above this paper plate full of dogshit
spigot: and i ask that you please do n
deuce: SMOOSH
spigot: nvm
deuce: here to help
spigot: some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do withou
deuce: SMOOSH
spigot: k |
deuce spigot |
#deuce-spigot #dogshit #physical-comedy #smoosh #spigot-points #woodring-room-background |
|
7,430 | 7/24/2019 | across all possible universes pants: `from pprint import pprint as print`
pants: barfing on all cocks across all possible universes |
pants |
#barf #cocks #filler-panel #pants-solo #programming #python #roman-shower #urinal-background #vomit |
|
7,431 | 7/25/2019 | re: the universal solvent deuce: piss: the universal solvent
pants: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: piss
spigot: hp wuvcraft |
deuce pants spigot |
#deuce-pants-spigot #lovecraft #piss #repetition #urinal-background |
|
7,432 | 7/26/2019 | a little bit spigot: may i be honest with you
deuce: uh oh
spigot: it feels like it might be for fags a little bit
spigot: a little bit for fags |
deuce spigot |
#be-gay-with-me #deuce-spigot #faggy #fags #mountain-background #stall |
|
7,433 | 7/27/2019 | serious serious pants: tell me I'm big
deuce: it was tiny
pants: can you at least please pretend that my wiener inspires fear
deuce: I could barely see it
pants: maybe dial nine and one and one and hover your thumb over the call button while maintaining serious serious eye contact
deuce: are you even a dude |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #dial-9 #micropenis #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,434 | 7/28/2019 | a medium-to-large plush minion spigot: i would get a medium-to-large plush minion, stuff it down the toilet, then take a day off work while an expensive plumber describes the problem |
spigot |
#minions #plumbing #sfw #single-panel #spigot-solo #toilet #urinal-background |
|
7,435 | 7/29/2019 | five more minutes spigot: okay i think it's time for some beers and then back to bed who's with me
pants: i've done my part today
spigot: that was a gay trap, get out of my bed
pants: s-sorry
spigot: you're not moving though
pants: 5 more minutes |
pants spigot |
#alcohol #bed #beer #fag-trap #mousehole #pants-spigot #spider-man #trap #woodring-room-background |
|
7,436 | 7/30/2019 | i feel love effigy: I feel love
deuce: it's just my wiener
effigy: ah, that's it. |
deuce effigy |
#blue-background #correct-grammar #deuce-effigy #donna-summer #gay #uncle-sam #wiener |
|
7,437 | 7/31/2019 | unguarded in the dogbert conference room spigot: what if we both take a shit in a couple of hot dog buns and you leave them unguarded in the dogbert conference room |
spigot |
#dilbert #hot-dogs #scott-adams #shit #single-panel #spigot-solo #woodring-field-background |
|
7,438 | 8/1/2019 | DURESS deuce: blinking "DURESS" in Morse code while no one watches |
deuce |
#black-background #deuce-solo #high-res #morse-code #pow #sfw #single-panel #vietnam |
|
7,439 | 8/2/2019 | what's that spell spigot: H
spigot: A
spigot: M
spigot: B
spigot: U
spigot: R
spigot: G
spigot: E
spigot: R
spigot: S |
spigot |
#filler-panel #hamburgers #sfw #spelling #spigot-solo #white-background |
|
7,440 | 8/3/2019 | join me at siggraph spigot: i drew a dick on a guy's face aimed at his mouth
spigot: join me at siggraph |
spigot |
#dick #filler-panel #prank #siggraph #spigot-solo #woodring-room-background |
|
7,441 | 8/4/2019 | whatever spigot: lol at spelling
deuce: I DON'T KNOW THINGS |
deuce spigot |
#deuce-spigot #lol #sfw #single-panel #spelling #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,442 | 8/5/2019 | I tease but I don't put out deuce: I'm a partial eclipse
deuce: in the sense that I tease but I don't put out |
deuce |
#astronomy #deuce-solo #drunk-deuce #filler-panel #woodring-room-background |
|
7,443 | 8/6/2019 | dongbutter.js spigot: a bunk bed for $1200/month ??????????? okay but only because i don't know angular.js
pants: sorry but the new hotness is dongbutter.js and you need to know this framework (unzipping, dropping)
deuce: where the $ global refers to your dong |
deuce pants spigot |
#bay-area #deuce-pants-spigot #dong #dongbutter #javascript #programming #single-panel #urinal-background |
|
7,444 | 8/7/2019 | flushable applicator spigot: i'm a flushable applicator
spigot: kindly apply me then flush me
spigot: surprise: i am not flushable
spigot: hurrrkkk okay one more attempt i guess
spigot: blblblblbl gllllkkk |
spigot |
#flushable #mountain-background #spigot-solo #tampons |
|
7,445 | 8/8/2019 | ten jumbo corn dogs spigot: do you know what i would do with ten jumbo corn dogs right now
spigot: dip them in various mustards !!!!!!!
spigot: then nnnggg email wired some pix |
spigot |
#corn-dog #food #kitty #nu-urinal-background #spigot-solo #wired |
|
7,446 | 8/9/2019 | day zero spigot: on day zero of nofap everybody
spigot: and that's the tea with a side of woke yikes yolos and yeets
spigot: click here to take a shit |
spigot |
#bonequest-hi-fi #click-here #generation-z #nofap #spigot-solo #woke #woodring-room-background #yeet #yikes #yolo #zoomers |
|
7,447 | 8/10/2019 | sworn an oath to fight you deuce: you are othering my balls
deuce: which is actually probably a good idea since they have sworn an oath to fight you |
deuce |
#balls #deuce-solo #drunk-deuce #filler-panel #knock-knock #mousehole #woodring-room-background |
|
7,448 | 8/11/2019 | trucks and detours and jackhammering spigot: trucks and detours and jackhammering at 3am while installing my star on the bonequest walk of fame
spigot: F A G F A C E
spigot: that wascally wapist |
spigot |
#elmer-fudd #hollywood #rape #spigot-solo #walk-of-fame #woodring-field-background |
|
7,449 | 8/12/2019 | grand canyon spigot: i went to the bottom of the grand canyon
spigot: i had to go down on a donkey |
spigot |
#bestiality #donkey #fellatio #filler-panel #grand-canyon #spigot-solo #woodring-stairs-background #wordplay |
|
7,450 | 8/13/2019 | my corduroy pants pants: pray with me (down here, on your knees)
deuce: that's a puddle of piss
pants: ignore that
deuce: it'll get my corduroy pants all messy |
deuce pants |
#church #deuce-pants #piss #prayer #religion #trousers #woodring-room-background |
|
7,451 | 8/14/2019 | will the word salad stop pants: please shoot my brain
deuce: if I shoot your brain will the word salad stop
deuce: because I'm not sure that's where it's coming from
pants: same, same |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #violence #woodring-field-background |
|
7,452 | 8/15/2019 | if you're blue spigot: if you're blue
spigot: and you don't know
spigot: where to go to
spigot: why don't you go
spigot: where fashion sits
spigot: gianna michaels' tits
spigot: piss |
spigot |
#filler-panel #gianna-michaels #gianna-michaels-tits #gmt #porn #puttin-on-the-ritz #singing #spigot-solo #taco #white-background |
|
7,453 | 8/16/2019 | i'm a beautiful butterfly deuce: I'm a beautiful butterfly
deuce: won't you fucking step on me |
deuce |
#butterfly #crush #deuce-solo #drunk-deuce #woodring-field-background |
|
7,454 | 8/17/2019 | JEAN-CHARLES YOU ARE FLOATING IN SPACE pants: YOU HAVE RUINED THE QUEEN'S SURPRISE BIRTHDAY, YOU FOOL
spigot: THEY WILL NEVER SEE ME IN THE HOTEL WITH THIS OUTRAGEOUS DISGUISE
pants: OH MY GOODNESS THE TOILET IS OVERFLOWING
spigot: HOW CAN YOU STACK THE CHEESES SO HIGH, THEY WILL SURELY TOPPLE
pants: I SHOULD NEVER HAVE EATEN ALL THAT BRIE
spigot: THE PASTRIES ARE COMING TOO FAST DOWN THE CHUTE (I MUST CATCH THEM ALL AND YET I AM DRUNK WITH WINE) |
pants spigot |
#birthday-strip #cheese #jean-charles #pants-spigot #queen-elizabeth #sfw #spiritualized #toilet #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,455 | 8/18/2019 | how much for the t-shirt spigot: how much for the t-shirt with the minion making the dreamworks face and the word science!!!!!! under it |
spigot |
#brown #minions #science #single-panel #spigot-solo #t-shirt #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,456 | 8/19/2019 | all pain letters spigot: bbbbbbbbb shitting a b just as hard as shitting a p
deuce: but a B is easier than a P
deuce: ..................... OR IS IT ?!?!?!?
spigot: a B would hurt then not hurt then hurt, at least with a b you get the hurt over with early
deuce: well the b (or p or P) can get stuck
spigot: don't get me started on the Y
deuce: ANALYZING THE SHAPE WITH COMPUTER MODELING SOFTWARE
deuce: SEEING HOW IT WOULD PASS THROUGH A COLORECTAL AREA
spigot: the T
deuce: J, K, X, Z: all pain letters
spigot: give a lowercase i any day
deuce: does the dot break off or no
deuce: $ is like a fucking anchor
deuce: IT'LL GET PURCHASE IN THERE AND JUST NEVER COME OUT
deuce: this is one of our stranger conversations (and that's saying something)
spigot: saving as pdf |
deuce spigot |
#alphabet #bonus-content #deuce-spigot #drunk-deuce #letters #lowercase #shit |
|
7,457 | 8/20/2019 | someone over there deuce: someone over there is gay
spigot: certainly not me |
deuce spigot |
#deuce-spigot #gay #mousehole #not-gay #sfw #single-panel #woodring-room-background |
|
7,458 | 8/21/2019 | cordially invited spigot: folks you're cordially invited to a night of black mold and asbestos and dehydration and suffocation |
spigot |
#countdown #folks #sfw #single-panel #spigot-solo #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,459 | 8/22/2019 | pop pop pop spigot: can i do squirts in the squat rack
deuce: POP POP POP don't worry it's a nailgun POP POP POP |
deuce spigot |
#deuce-spigot #diarrhea #gun #gym #mousehole #single-panel #woodring-room-background |
|
7,460 | 8/23/2019 | are you ready to rock pants: are you ready 2 rock
deuce: could use 30, 40 minutes
pants: actually could we rock tomorrow night instead
pants: yeah tomorrow is better for me too (4 me 2)
pants: i'm better to rock after a fresh night's sleep and a shower and a mug of cocoa
deuce: what about a good dump
pants: no you must hold it in until it hurts and then wait some more
deuce: i see |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #boner #deuce-pants #huffy-pants #mountain-background #rock #scheduling #weird-pants-face |
|
7,461 | 8/24/2019 | really really really spigot: i really really really
spigot: don't want to be that guy
spigot: but
spigot: fags of our fathers |
spigot |
#films #kitty #meow #spigot-solo #woodring-field-background |
|
7,462 | 8/25/2019 | because it's sunday spigot: if you show an unlicked dick in act one it better not be licked by act three because it's sunday and the bus only runs once an hour so i won't be there until act four thirty |
spigot |
#bus #chekhov #chekhovs-dick #dicklicking #gark #public-transportation #single-panel #spigot-solo #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,463 | 8/26/2019 | it's not easy spigot: it's not easy / licking dick
spigot: it is for me but / probably not so much / for you |
spigot |
#bug-report #dicklicking #frog #green-background #kermit #muppets #not-easy-being-green #singing #spigot-solo |
|
7,464 | 8/27/2019 | what order pants: what order should i watch black mirror in???
spigot: just please stop calling me |
pants spigot |
#black-mirror #buzzwords #mountain-background #pants-spigot #quick-call #single-panel |
|
7,465 | 8/28/2019 | bash my face spigot: bash my face / with a dog food can |
spigot |
#black-background #high-res #lune #poetry #sfw #single-panel #spigot-solo |
|
7,466 | 8/29/2019 | do you seriously spigot: do you seriously not sell fleshlights longer than a fish tube |
pants spigot |
#fishtube #fleshlight #pants-spigot #single-panel #woodring-room-background |
|
7,467 | 8/30/2019 | completely normal deuce: hey check out my dick
pants: that is a completely normal dick
deuce: dick type: STANDARD |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #dick #taxonomy #urinal-background |
|
7,468 | 8/31/2019 | concur effigy: mmmmm
pants: gluh
effigy: concur
pants: hhhhh
effigy: I THINK WE HAVE A QUORUM |
effigy pants |
#effigy-pants #flappity-bat #hhhhh #no-fat-chicks #quorum #teal-background #weird-pants-face |
|
7,469 | 9/1/2019 | hands up spigot: hands up who can punch me in the face and shoe me in the sack |
spigot |
#nuts-of-spigot #single-panel #spigot-solo #violence #woodring-field-background |
|
7,470 | 9/2/2019 | literally all spigot: literally all the characters in star wars are gay |
spigot |
#alcohol #gay #single-panel #spigot-solo #star-wars #urinal-background |
|
7,471 | 9/3/2019 | beating off on the moon spigot: who's been beating off on the moon
deuce: mcdonalds |
deuce spigot |
#beating-off #deuce-spigot #logo #mcdonalds #moon #single-panel #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,472 | 9/4/2019 | ice cream and candy pants: do u want 2 do things 2 me
deuce: i do
pants: feed me ice cream and candy
deuce: will do
pants: get back to me when you can |
deuce pants |
#be-gay-with-me #deuce-pants #fatness #food #ghetto-u #sfw #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,473 | 9/5/2019 | coming up spigot: ***sob*** why can't someone dab on them haters?????
spigot: seriously though where are all the hater dabbers
spigot: coming up: a complimentary dab from me personally to all the haters out there hating
spigot: HURRRNK
spigot: i threw my back out |
spigot |
#asterisks #dab #haters #mountain-background #spigot-solo |
|
7,474 | 9/6/2019 | omg fuh dick: uh
deuce: omg
pants: fuh
spigot: unsubscribe |
deuce dick pants spigot |
#black-background #deuce-dick-pants-spigot #high-res #mailing-list #sfw #shrug #single-panel |
|
7,475 | 9/7/2019 | at my worst spigot: if you can't handle me at my worst you can't fondle me on my nuts |
spigot |
#nuts #nuts-of-spigot #single-panel #spigot-solo #woodring-room-background |
|
7,476 | 9/8/2019 | backwards into the artwork spigot: jean-charles you have fallen backwards into the artwork
pants: literally bailey jay'd |
pants spigot |
#bailey-jay #clomp #farts #jean-charles #pants-spigot #porn #sfw #single-panel #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,477 | 9/9/2019 | this is the zodiac speaking spigot: this is the zodiac speaking
spigot: guess we're playin' phone tag |
spigot |
#antacid #phone-call #serial-killers #sfw #spigot-solo #white-background #zantac #zodiac-killer |
|
7,478 | 9/10/2019 | suck it no please yes spigot: suck it
deuce: no
spigot: please
deuce: yes
spigot: BHAOBHR)E(UBN{W($&@$*T}_@*} |
deuce spigot |
#cocksucking #deuce-spigot #mousehole #woodring-room-background |
|
7,479 | 9/11/2019 | thanks deuce: that's an awful lot of boring shit, thanks |
deuce |
#bonequest-hi-fi #boring #deuce-solo #drunk-deuce #frys-electronics #shit #single-panel #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,480 | 9/12/2019 | mockable deuce: do not mock my balls (even though they are very mockable) |
deuce |
#balls #deuce-solo #single-panel #woodring-field-background |
|
7,481 | 9/13/2019 | cave rescue spigot: to protect and to squirt
spigot: fine i will download pbs nova: thai cave rescue (2018) but it's going in the trash if anyone has their shirt off |
spigot |
#mousehole #pbs #spigot-solo #squirt #woodring-room-background |
|
7,482 | 9/14/2019 | wet carpet deuce: NOW MY CARPET IS WET
pants: same |
deuce pants |
#bonequest-hi-fi #carpet #coy-pants #deuce-pants #grey-background #sfw #single-panel #wetness |
|
7,483 | 9/15/2019 | and i miss my brothers pants: OH GOD IT'S EATING ME
pants: DANGLING ME BY MY LEG PRECARIOUSLY OVER HIS MOUTH AND JAWS
pants: OH WHY AM I NOT DYING |
pants |
#pants-solo #vore #woodring-field-background |
|
7,484 | 9/16/2019 | speak up and spit it out pants: for instance
pants: you might say
pants: i walked past the drug store |
pants |
#bonequest-hi-fi #dj-rapekit #drug-store #pants-solo #sfw #woodring-den-background #you-might-say |
|
7,485 | 9/17/2019 | horn section effigy: I need a horn section
spigot: i.e. an erection |
effigy spigot |
#effigy-spigot #erection #horn-section #single-panel #woodring-field-background |
|
7,486 | 9/18/2019 | hey space spigot: hey space: make something that doesn't look like dog shit
spigot: hey universe: the cat box called, it wants those galaxies back
spigot: hey neil degrasse tyson: (hangs up because it's a crank call)
spigot: hello
spigot: i said more like neil degrabs ladies |
spigot |
#aids #bonequest-hi-fi #neil-degrasse-tyson #space-nuts-background #spigot-solo |
|
7,487 | 9/19/2019 | flop pants: flop
pants: sorry
pants: flop
pants: sorry not sorry
pants: flop
pants: leaving them down
pants: waddling everywhere |
pants |
#exhibitionism #flop #mountain-background #pants-solo #sfw #sorry #trousers |
|
7,488 | 9/20/2019 | let us dance pants: haulghalhgluahlg i am pants
deuce: greetings pants
deuce: I am [name redacted]
pants: let us dance |
deuce pants |
#blue-background #dance #deuce-pants #redacted #sfw |
|
7,489 | 9/21/2019 | framing it, signing it pants: printing an 24x18 picture of myself, framing it, signing it with a silver pen, wrapping it, merry christmas
pants: smiling, thumbs up |
pants |
#deja-vu #pants-solo #teal-background |
|
7,490 | 9/22/2019 | sound of balls spigot: LET'S ALL PUT OUR BALLS TOGETHER FOR SPIGOT
deuce: HONK BONK HONK BONK
spigot: SLAP BONK DUH BOOT
deuce: (SOUND OF BALLS) |
deuce spigot |
#balls #bonk #deuce-spigot #honk #honkbonk #norton #nuts-of-spigot #orange-background #spigot-points |
|
7,491 | 9/23/2019 | throwing up hands deuce: WHEN THE FUCK ARE YOU GODDAMN LEAVING
atandt: THIS IS MY HOME NOW
deuce: I SAID OUT |
atandt deuce |
#atandt-deuce #atandt-deuce-disconnect #fighting-irish-pose #home #woodring-room-background |
|
7,492 | 9/24/2019 | fuhgeddaboudit spigot: fuggeddabobtbuubouggbtpptpbpitiit
spigot: seriously just let it go |
spigot |
#despair-panel #italian #sfw #spigot-solo #yellow-background |
|
7,493 | 9/25/2019 | put them here pants: COCKS
deuce: PUT THEM HERE
deuce: <-------------- |
deuce pants |
#cocks #deuce-pants #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,494 | 9/26/2019 | okay then spigot: HERE WE GO / HERE WE GO / HERE WE GO / AGAIN
spigot: GIRLS WHAT'S MY WEAKNESS / MATH
spigot: ALSO I TALK DURING SHOWS |
spigot |
#math #salt-n-pepa #shoop #spigot-solo #urinal-background |
|
7,495 | 9/27/2019 | for instance spigot: INSTEAD OF BASHING GAYS ALL THE TIME YOU COULD TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS
spigot: FOR INSTANCE MY BALLS ARE BOTH TENDER
spigot: *HURF* KICKING |
spigot |
#nu-urinal-background #nuts-of-spigot #spigot-solo #violence |
|
7,496 | 9/28/2019 | a dystopian sci-fi future deuce: if you look closely you'll see the biggest problem is that there's a woman in the captain's chair
pants: a dystopian sci-fi future |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #frog #science-fiction #sfw #single-panel #space-nuts-background #star-trek #women |
|
7,497 | 9/29/2019 | cool like dat spigot: K O Y A A N I S Q U I R T S I
spigot: how about just tits without the woman bolted on
spigot: am i being detained
pants: sir please roll down your window |
pants spigot |
#california #movies #pants-spigot #philip-glass #police #white-background #women |
|
7,498 | 9/30/2019 | remix me pants: remix me
deuce: stuffing you in a shoe
pants: hurray i'm a sock |
deuce pants |
#bay-area #denevi-camera #deuce-pants #remix #sfw #weird-pants-face #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,499 | 10/1/2019 | hundreds of notarized documents deuce > <Meow Mix jingle>
pants > well now i have to poo
deuce > well me too but you don't see me bragging about it do you!!!!!!! (cut to hundreds of notarized documents indicating that I clearly have done so)
pants > lawyers in a boardroom with lawyers of their own, ordering chinese food late at night, rolling up their sleeves, hashing out the details |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #hypocrisy #lawyers #meow-mix #poo #urinal-background |
|
7,500 | 10/2/2019 | a vase a face (a clone wars saga) pants: a vase ???????????
pants: two faces ???????????
pants: you first |
pants |
#ghetto-u #multipants #multiplicity #pants-pants #pants-solo #rubin-vase #sfw #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,501 | 10/3/2019 | it's called spigot: it's called wewank and it's a bunch of cubes |
spigot |
#single-panel #spigot-solo #wank #wework #woodring-room-background |
|
7,502 | 10/4/2019 | i'm not after your money spigot: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I'M NOT AFTER YOUR MONEY, YOUR MONEY IS PROTECTE
spigot: BANG
spigot: dammit |
spigot |
#bang #crime #heat #sfw #spigot-solo #violence #woodring-room-background |
|
7,503 | 10/5/2019 | let's not get carried away pants: acknowledge my right to exist
deuce: let's not get carried away here
pants: pissing brings me joy (and piss) |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #deuce-pants #piss #piss-trough-background |
|
7,504 | 10/6/2019 | squeeze my nuts spigot: you don't squeeze my nuts during blowjobs anymore
pants: maybe instead one could put the succ into succulent (say aloud in ed kemper voice)
spigot: you must have ballzheimers
pants: from now on just say everything aloud as kemper |
pants spigot |
#balls #blowjob #ed-kemper #nuts #nuts-of-spigot #pants-spigot #weird-pants-face #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,505 | 10/7/2019 | only allowed spigot: you're only allowed to call it sucking cock if it's happening in the cocksucking region of france |
spigot |
#champagne #cocksucking #france #high-res #protected-designation-of-origin #single-panel #sparkling-fellatio #spigot-solo #woodring-field-background |
|
7,506 | 10/8/2019 | anger issues part 1 pants: punch
pants: pow
pants: crawlspace
pants: barrel
pants: desert |
pants |
#crime #murder #pants-solo #sfw #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,507 | 10/9/2019 | anger issues part 2 pants: i literally wanted to see what i looked like sad
pants: also the elevator down took a long time
pants: no i'm fine to chat |
pants |
#elevator #filename #pants-solo #sfw #weird-pants-face #woodring-field-background |
|
7,508 | 10/10/2019 | pouring one out deuce: hat on heart
pants: pouring one out
pants: immediately regretting it
pants: lapping it up off the floor |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #libations #respects #sfw #weird-pants-face #woodring-room-background |
|
7,509 | 10/11/2019 | putting down ten spigot: i only sucked one dick today but i'm putting down ten
spigot: stolen valor |
spigot |
#cocksucking #dick #fraud #spigot-solo #stolen-valor #white-background |
|
7,510 | 10/12/2019 | sexual congress pants: pound me into the sand
deuce: touch / dicks
pants: the motherfucking fucking boss
deuce: sexual congress |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #deuce-pants #dicks #gay #huffy-pants #nu-urinal-background #politics |
|
7,511 | 10/13/2019 | kickstarter pants: kickstarter to put a UI on the bonequest game???????? $900,000,000??????????????
deuce: better ask for a cool $9,000,000,000
deuce: go big or go home
pants: home
deuce: also my preference, yes
pants: home is comfortable and snacks are there
deuce: also chairs, couches, cats, bed
pants: all the good things |
deuce pants |
#cats #deuce-pants #food #home #kickstarter #mountain-background #sfw |
|
7,512 | 10/14/2019 | adventure pants: we're going on an adventure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
deuce: NO WE'RE NOT
pants: adventure!!!!!!!!!!!!!
deuce: no i said it was far and boring
deuce: i know you heard me because you repeated what i said in song
pants: ***adventure*** |
deuce pants |
#adventure #asterisks #deuce-pants #minecraft-background #musical #sfw |
|
7,513 | 10/15/2019 | some amount pants: some amount of public masturbation is tolerable yes or no
deuce: depends on who's doing it
pants: me
deuce: totes fine then |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #deuce-pants #huffy-pants #masturbation #urinal-background |
|
7,514 | 10/16/2019 | rubbing the penis pants: no one should use the body of an 05:04
pants: unwilling partner for their own pleasure 05:06
pants: unprotected and unplanned sexual 05:09
pants: intercourse is wrong and no one need 05:13
pants: allow anyone to touch their bodies if 05:15
pants: they do not want them to 05:15
pants: we may not 05:19
pants: always succeed in reaching the trainees 05:22
pants: we must always try 05:32
pants: [Music] 05:48
pants: [Music] 05:48 |
pants |
#dj-rapekit #mountain-background #pants-solo #rape #sex #sex-education #timestamp #weird-pants-face |
|
7,515 | 10/17/2019 | have you heard the spigot: beep boop buttplug delivery
spigot: sir your buttplug is here
spigot: folks got a sec
spigot: ladies and gents have you heard the
spigot: GET YOUR RED HOT BUTTPLUGS |
spigot |
#buttplug #folks #sales-pitch #spigot-solo #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,516 | 10/18/2019 | horny on main spigot: if just one person hears this and licks a dick it will all be worth it
pants: horny on main
pants: what i thought were crispy delicious hot egg rolls were actually limp translucent ice cold spring rolls
deuce: spring rolls are vaguely tolerable but NOT IF YOU THINK THEY'RE EGG ROLLS in which case they're the most horrible thing ever to happen to mankind
pants: there can never be peace |
deuce pants spigot |
#black-background #deuce-pants-spigot #dicklicking #drunk-deuce #egg-rolls #food #mankind #peace #spring-rolls |
|
7,517 | 10/19/2019 | in a just world spigot: do you think jake steed and byron long are friends in real life
deuce: they would be in a just world |
deuce spigot |
#deuce-spigot #grey-background #porn #single-panel |
|
7,518 | 10/20/2019 | two words spigot: two words:
spigot: complete bay area news coverage mornings on @@ |
spigot |
#bay-area #caption #ktvu #logo #spigot-solo #spigot-the-bear #url #viscera #white-background |
|
7,519 | 10/21/2019 | fill out this form spigot: FILL OUT THIS FORM IF YOU HAVE ANY DIETARY RESTRICTIONS!!!!! GLUTEN / VEGAN
spigot: where's the dropdown for all the foods i think are just fucking gross a.k.a all the food you intend to serve up
spigot: folks as a team activity we're going to poo on the street and pop it in the microwave |
spigot |
#diet #folks #form #gluten-free #poo #spigot-solo #team-building-exercise #vegan #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,520 | 10/22/2019 | what has science ever done for us pants: are all cowboys gay or just the ones i see in movies, on tv, riding horses, mending fences
deuce: it is possible that there exists a non-gay cowboy but science has yet to discover one
pants: pffft what does science know |
deuce pants |
#cowboy #deuce-pants #gay #not-gay #sfw #woodring-room-background |
|
7,521 | 10/23/2019 | cosine of the heart spigot: did xkcd ever figure out the cosine of the {{{heart}}} or did he get aids from a million bleeding aids dicks |
spigot |
#aids #autism #diss #mountain-background #shots-fired #single-panel #spigot-solo #xkcd |
|
7,522 | 10/24/2019 | rolling the boulders pants: have we tried rolling the boulders over the homeless people |
pants |
#coy-pants #homeless #pants-solo #penis #rolling-stones #single-panel #woodring-field-background-2 |
|
7,523 | 10/25/2019 | right out of the o spigot: more like feynman diarrhea grams
spigot: did you know in england they get diarrhoea
spigot: it squirts right out of the o
spigot: maybe feynman can look into that o-ring for once
spigot: instead of being so bo-ring |
deuce spigot |
#challenger-explosion #deuce-spigot #diarrhea #diarrhoea #england #feynman #no-comment #o-ring #woodring-field-background |
|
7,524 | 10/26/2019 | redshirts, blueshirts, yellowshirts deuce: murder them all???
pants: just the ones in red shirts
pants: blue shirts get handjobs, yellow shirts get half-and-half |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #handjob #murder #space-nuts-background #star-trek |
|
7,525 | 10/27/2019 | more pudding please spigot: is there any pudding
pants: no
spigot: what about pudding my balls in your mouth
spigot: just pudding it out there |
pants spigot |
#balls #jean-charles #nuts-of-spigot #pants-spigot #pudding #pun #woodring-field-background |
|
7,526 | 10/28/2019 | these are the jokes spigot: waiter there's a condom in my diarrhea
spigot: these are the jokes you fucking queers
spigot: can i get a bigger mic |
spigot |
#comedy #condom #dick #empty-auditorium-background #failed-comedy #jokes #queer #spigot-solo #waiter |
|
7,527 | 10/29/2019 | breaking y key pants: want to watch me piss on a mop y/n
deuce: yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy (breaking y key) |
deuce pants |
#deuce-spigot #keyboard-breaking #mop #mop-pissing #olive-garden #piss #pissmop #white-background #y-n |
|
7,528 | 10/30/2019 | hope someday spigot: hope someday i can fuck a real flashlight |
spigot |
#aspirations #blue-background #bonequest-hi-fi #fleshlight #goals #high-res #spigot-solo |
|
7,529 | 10/31/2019 | test drive pants: why not just pop it in your mouth for a test drive, to see how you like it |
deuce pants |
#cocksucking #deuce-pants #test-drive #woodring-room-background |
|
7,530 | 11/1/2019 | time to celebrate pants: time to celebrate with frosty chocolate handjobs^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hmilkshakes
deuce: wait wait wait
deuce: go back one word
pants: would you prefer strawberry
pants: as i get older i appreciate vanilla more, it's a complex flavor
pants: when i was younger it meant flavorless to me
deuce: vanilla's good |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #backspace #backspace-control-character #coy-pants #deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #handjob #huffy-pants #milkshake #mountain-background #vanilla #weird-pants-face |
|
7,531 | 11/2/2019 | are we not horses pants: are we not horses
deuce: I'd say we are horse-like |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #devo #horse #horses #sfw #white-background |
|
7,532 | 11/3/2019 | it'll grow back pants: don't make me think
pants: just do what i ask
pants: ow ow ow okay don't do ow exactly what i ask ow ow use common sense ow ow ow it'll grow back ow |
pants |
#jean-charles #ow #pants-solo #physical-comedy #sfw #urinal-background |
|
7,533 | 11/4/2019 | something noisy and brash deuce: could you assist me in my beatoff explorations
pants: are you seeking a quiet shady place or perhaps sir would like something noisy and brash |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #beatoff #deuce-pants #frank-pentangeli #huffy-pants #urinal-background |
|
7,534 | 11/5/2019 | on fire spigot: my foot is on fire but everyone thinks it's leaves |
spigot |
#fire #foot #leaves #meta #sfw #spigot-solo #visual-humor #woodring-field-background |
|
7,535 | 11/6/2019 | three-dimensional deuce: YOUR THREE-DIMENSIONAL LAWS DO NOT APPLY TO US |
deuce |
#3d #deuce-solo #high-res #sfw #yellow-background |
|
7,536 | 11/7/2019 | in my defense pants: in my defense I was trying to fuck the bong
deuce: do you really think that matters to the bong |
deuce pants |
#bonequest-hi-fi #bong #coy-pants #deuce-pants #fuck #grey-background #knock-knock |
|
7,537 | 11/8/2019 | glitter, beer batter spigot: are you sure i can't dunk my dong in glitter and deep fry it in beer batter |
spigot |
#beer #bonequest-hi-fi #deep-frying #dong #dunking #genital-mutilation #glitter #grey-background #single-panel #spigot-solo |
|
7,538 | 11/9/2019 | a stone cold bummer deuce: can I just get paid and not do any work plz
pants: is sucking dick work
deuce: yes
pants: that's a stone cold bummer man |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #deucegrin #dicklicking #stone-cold-bummer #weird-pants-face #white-background |
|
7,539 | 11/10/2019 | what spigot: what do you call a gay parking lot??
spigot: a ***lot*** of dicks to suck on |
pants spigot |
#asterisks #cocksucking #comedy #dicks #gay #pants-spigot #stray-dot #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,540 | 11/11/2019 | alvin simon and theodore spigot: WE'RE LIKE ALVIN SIMON AND THEODORE STORING NUTS IN OUR CHEEKS FOR THE WINTER
spigot: WHAT'S BROWN AND SITS ON A PIANO BENCH
spigot: BEETHOVEN'S FIRST MOVEMENT
spigot: WHAT'S BROWN AND IN THE ARMY
spigot: GOMER'S PYLE
spigot: WHAT'S BROWN AND HIDES FROM NAZIS
spigot: THE DIARRHEA OF ANNE FRANK
spigot: WHAT'S BROWN AND SITS AT HOME UNEMPLOYED
deuce: Oh, dear
spigot: YOU AND THEN SOMETHING POO RELATED |
deuce spigot |
#chipmunks #comedy #comedy-gold #drunk-deuce #funny-jokes #jokes #poo #spigot-points #url #woodring-field-background |
|
7,541 | 11/12/2019 | i'm with you on this one spigot: PLUH PTHTH PUH URINE
deuce: HURRAY FOR DICKS
pants: I'M WITH YOU ON THIS ONE |
deuce pants spigot |
#deuce-pants-spigot #dicks #mousehole #piss #urine #woodring-room-background |
|
7,542 | 11/13/2019 | this just in spigot: AREA MAN LIKES DICK |
spigot |
#dick #mountain-background #news-flash #spigot-solo #this-just-in |
|
7,543 | 11/14/2019 | euphoric and sleepy deuce: I ALWAYS FEEL EUPHORIC AND SLEEPY AFTER A GOOD LONG JERK
pants: WERE YOU JERKED OR DID YOU DO THE JERKING
deuce: NUMBER TWO BUT I USED MY LEFT HAND (SO IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE ELSE) |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #handjob #jerking #the-stranger #tired #urinal-background |
|
7,544 | 11/15/2019 | can we peek pants: can we peek in the box to see if the kitty is okay
deuce: if you do then you will destroy the Universe |
deuce pants |
#bonequest-hi-fi #deuce-pants #kitty #quantum #schrodingers-cat #schroedingers-cat #sfw #space-nuts-background |
|
7,545 | 11/16/2019 | hanging from the rafters pants: <color = "pink">SISTERS RESIST</pink>
pants: i, sex pest
pants: molecatchers unite
pants: honk honk get out of the street
pants: how fun it is for you (to slap my dick around)
pants: i'm a boys medium
pants: gen-x post-punks!!!!!!!!!!! bi but not curious
pants: dizzy, more dizzy |
pants |
#chico-ray #coy-pants #funloving-nonsense #gen-x #ghost #ghosts #grrrl #honk #pants-solo #punk #weird-pants-face #woodring-field-background |
|
7,546 | 11/17/2019 | news spigot: come on you guys it's news
spigot: what's cooler and more interesting than the news
deuce: t spigot dicks
deuce: t spigot horses
deuce: t spigot paint
deuce: t spigot rice
deuce: t spigot do you want more exammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm |
deuce spigot |
#angry-panel #deuce-spigot #horse #news #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,547 | 11/18/2019 | i'm here to say spigot: well i got a big erection / i'm here to say
spigot: did you hear all about
spigot: my big erection |
spigot |
#boner #erection #frog #mousehole #singing #spigot-solo #woodring-room-background |
|
7,548 | 11/19/2019 | general chaos ensues deuce: blackouts for three weeks, riots, general chaos ensues |
deuce |
#black-background #blackout #chaos #deuce-solo #sfw |
|
7,549 | 11/20/2019 | kitty opinions deuce: t pants can you explain to me why the phrase kitty opinions is in neither BONEBASE/1 nor BoneQuest (arms folded)
pants: are love and piss the same thing
deuce: no but they are closely intertwined (with piss drops)
pants: mmm so hot |
deuce pants |
#bonequest #cvs #database #deuce-pants #love #piss #white-background |
|
7,550 | 11/21/2019 | you know who'd spigot: you know who'd make a great joker: chester cheetah
spigot: he pulls out his saxophone all cool as shit, crowd claps
spigot: does a few numbers and then says it ain't easy being cheesy and everyone claps
spigot: pulls out a cheeto and makes it look like a tiny penis and waggles it, clapping continues
spigot: then he's all: I WAS JOKING
spigot: not just spitballing here
spigot: i approved it during this conversation and assembled the assets myself
spigot: and launched the campaign and we're live |
spigot |
#batman #cheetos #chester-cheetah #joker #mountain-background #piss #spigot-solo #tiny-penis |
|
7,551 | 11/22/2019 | simply nothing more to be said spigot: when cj cregg did the jackal she diminished the office of the presidency, and there is simply nothing more to be said about it
spigot: fucking big bird |
spigot |
#sesame-street #spigot-solo #westwing #woodring-room-background |
|
7,552 | 11/23/2019 | we really want to do something spigot: We really want to do something so we aren't just the girls who Louis C.K. masturbated in front of |
deuce pants spigot |
#deuce-pants-spigot #dildo #louis-ck #masturbation #sexual-harassment #urinal-background |
|
7,553 | 11/24/2019 | sunday squirts spigot: saturday!!!!!!!!!
spigot: should i poo in my pants ???? or poo in your pants
spigot: stop shitting yourself / stop shitting yourself
spigot: hurrrrrrr the sunday squirts
spigot: mondays |
spigot |
#poo #spigot-solo #weekend #whisper #yellow-background |
|
7,554 | 11/25/2019 | an honest liar spigot: HOW WOULD THAT EVEN BE POSSIBLE ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I CALL ****BULLSHIT****
spigot: UM, SKEPTIC HERE
spigot: hand on hip
spigot: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO
spigot: cheesecake girlfriend
spigot: i told carson i'd uri his geller
spigot: not invited back !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly that was a lie
spigot: M I N D B L O W N |
spigot |
#asterisks #liar #skeptic #spigot-solo #uri-geller #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,555 | 11/26/2019 | feet-first pants: suck it and punch it
pants: run away, hide under the trailer, get pulled out feet-first by state police
pants: it's my cousin's car |
pants |
#cocksucking #pants-solo #trailer-trash #woodring-field-background |
|
7,556 | 11/27/2019 | coffee in the morning spigot: i don't drink coffee in the morning cause i don't want to be up all day |
spigot |
#coffee #high-res #sfw #spigot-solo #urinal-background |
|
7,557 | 11/28/2019 | apt-get deuce: I install my dick in /opt |
deuce |
#deuce-solo #dick #linux #mountain-background #single-panel #unix |
|
7,558 | 11/29/2019 | what it's like pants: it's like cocaine for the nose
spigot: it's like an enema for the behind |
pants spigot |
#blue-background #cocaine #drugs #enema #failed-similies #pants-spigot #sfw |
|
7,559 | 11/30/2019 | halfway down spigot: officially halfway down to my goal weight of ten thousand pounds |
spigot |
#diversity #fatness #feet-above-floor #sfw #spigot-solo #weight-loss #woodring-den-background |
|
7,560 | 12/1/2019 | barely making it to the toilet dick: urgh
pants: barely making it to the toilet, making a huge mess anyway |
dick pants |
#dick-pants #poo #toilet #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,561 | 12/2/2019 | bedtime spigot: welps time to once again turn off the lights and get comfy in bed and close my eyes and let police interrogations on youtube lull me to sleep |
spigot |
#sfw #spigot-solo #thought #woodring-stairs-background #youtube |
|
7,562 | 12/3/2019 | hoo hoo spigot: come for the bone, stay for the quest
spigot: you put the cock sock / right on my dong / hoo / hoo
spigot: sucking dick, next donahue |
spigot |
#bonequest #cock-sock #cocksucking #dick #donahue #dong #grey-background #singing #spigot-solo #television |
|
7,563 | 12/4/2019 | a big wide world deuce: shake yo titties
pants: an unknown number of stupid little titties
deuce: unspecified but almost certainly not zero and probably not exactly one
pants: it's a big wide world of titties out there
deuce: beyond that, unknown
pants: so many titties |
deuce pants |
#coy-pants #deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #ice-cube #math #plant #tits #titties #woodring-field-background |
|
7,564 | 12/5/2019 | while supplies last spigot: folks i'm licking dick at participating locations while supplies last |
spigot |
#dicklicking #folks #marketing #promotion #spigot-solo #urinal-background |
|
7,565 | 12/6/2019 | words you can't say spigot: turns out there are words you can't say anymore
deuce: in my day we had normal fonts and faggot fonts and literally that was it |
deuce spigot |
#deuce-spigot #faggot #fonts #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,566 | 12/7/2019 | trannypants pants: i want to be a woman
spigot: unsubscribe
pants: are you sure you want to unsubscribe from trannypants season 1
spigot: yes i would like to unsubscribe
pants: no problem, it will take 7-10 business days
spigot: fine
pants: ...
spigot: ...
pants: Trannypants now streaming on Netflix, Amazon Prime |
pants spigot |
#amazon #amazon-prime #angry-panel #dick #huffy-pants #netflix #pants-spigot #tranny #unsubscribe #woodring-field-background |
|
7,567 | 12/8/2019 | one damn thing after another spigot: six months ago my doctor informed me my ass is haunted
spigot: six months ago my doctor informed me my ass is haunted
spigot: today my balls keep going boo
spigot: not a great Q4
deuce: it's just one damn thing after another
spigot: may i take a candy cane
deuce: You've used 100% of your 1024 GB monthly data plan. |
deuce spigot |
#ass #candy #cellular-phone #data-plan #funloving-nonsense #ghosts #haunted #haunted-ass #jean-charles #nuts-of-spigot #somber-deuce #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,568 | 12/9/2019 | on a planet made of dog shit spigot: how about darth vader uses baby yoda as a fleshlight on a planet made of dog shit |
spigot |
#baby-yoda #darth-vader #dogshit #fleshlight #spigot-solo #star-wars #urinal-background |
|
7,569 | 12/10/2019 | the 3 stages of viewing pornography spigot: fuckin' fuck yes
spigot: super pleased over here
spigot: turning vacation responder on |
spigot |
#mousehole #porn #spigot-solo #woodring-room-background |
|
7,570 | 12/11/2019 | painting minatures pants: i can't wait to paint minatures and suck dick
deuce: and you're all out of miniatures
pants: also paint, brushes, newspaper to protect the table surface |
deuce pants |
#deuce-pants #dicksucking #drunk-deuce #duke-nukem #miniatures #mountain-background #they-live #typo |
|
7,571 | 12/12/2019 | sober spigot: yeah i'm sober
spigot: s.ucking
spigot: o.n
spigot: b.ig
spigot: er.ections |
spigot |
#acronym #cocksucking #drugs #sobriety #spigot-solo #woodring-stairs-background #wordplay |
|
7,572 | 12/13/2019 | chest pains deuce: hurrrk chest pains
pants: clutching my heart, falling to my knees, sucking people off while i'm down there |
deuce pants |
#cocksucking #deuce-pants #heart-attack #jean-charles #jizz #woodring-field-background |
|
7,573 | 12/14/2019 | smoke in the cockpit deuce: THIS IS DEUCE AIRLINES 142, DECLARING PAN PAN PAN, WE HAVE SMOKE IN THE COCKPIT AND DIARRHEA IN MY SHORTS
deuce: SAN FRANCISCO TOWER, THIS IS DEUCE AIRLINES 142, NOW DECLARING AN EMERGENCY, MY SHORTS HAVE BREACHED I REPEAT MY SHORTS HAVE BREACHED
deuce: WE HAVE DIARRHEA IN THE COCKPIT |
deuce |
#airplane #atc #blue-background #bonequest-hi-fi #deuce-solo #diarrhea #emergency #pan-pan #san-francisco #sfo |
|
7,574 | 12/15/2019 | bring him to me pants: bring me the jizz monkey
deuce: he's busy
pants: k |
deuce pants |
#bonequest-hi-fi #deuce-pants #jizz #monkey #white-background |
|
7,575 | 12/16/2019 | ship manifest spigot: ship manifest reveals 200 dongs on board |
spigot |
#dongs #jean-charles #packing-list #ship #shipping #space-nuts-background #spigot-solo #transportation |
|
7,576 | 12/17/2019 | what kind of man pants: What kind of man gets so drunk in Las Vegas that he wakes up with a hangover??? I would say a rugged, handsome man with a big dick |
pants |
#behind-the-scenes #black-background #bonequest-hi-fi #pants-solo #start-menu #title-mismatch |
|
7,577 | 12/18/2019 | blogging and vlogging deuce: I tweet my shits
deuce: I keep a log of logs
deuce: blogging and vlogging while I log my logs
spigot: turns out guys can squirt |
deuce spigot |
#deuce-spigot #deuces-shits #log #mousehole #shit #squirt #woodring-room-background |
|
7,578 | 12/19/2019 | the good stuff pants: the good stuff
deuce: <Barney Fife sniff>
spigot: how come you know all the pokemons but you can't seem to remember my pronoun |
deuce pants spigot |
#america #barney-fife #coy-pants #deuce-pants-spigot #grey-background #pokemon #pronouns #sfw #weird-pants-face |
|
7,579 | 12/20/2019 | no reason in particular pants: keep your eye on my balls
deuce: are they about to do something amazi--
pants: no reason in particular, I just think they're neat |
deuce pants |
#balls #deuce-pants #white-background |
|
7,580 | 12/21/2019 | mom says pants: mom says you have to beat me off
deuce: that doesn't sound like mom |
deuce pants |
#angry-panel #beating-off #black-background #deuce-pants #drunk-deuce #huffy-pants #masturbation #mom #wide-load |
|
7,581 | 12/22/2019 | nobody's dead pants: whatcha got down there
pants: nothing
pants: you're dead
pants: i mean nobody's dead
pants: let's go out to dinner
pants: ow you're pushing me
pants: you're hurting my arm
pants: bye |
pants |
#pants-solo #sfw #weird-pants-face #white-background |
|
7,582 | 12/23/2019 | been super busy spigot: toon in each monday!!!!!!!!!!!
spigot: sorry no toon in three years, been super busy!!!!!!!!!!!!
spigot: http 404 mondaytoons |
spigot |
#cartoons #http #sfw #spigot-solo #toon #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,583 | 12/24/2019 | tell me about your dreams pants: tell me about your dreams
deuce: all tentacles and unicorns and upskirts |
deuce pants |
#black-background #deuce-pants #dreams #high-res #tentacles #unicorns #upskirt |
|
7,584 | 12/25/2019 | christmas 2019 spigot: IS ANYTHING OPEN ON CHRISTMAS BESIDES MY MOUTH???????? |
spigot |
#christmas #christmas-tree-lights #mouth #open #spigot-solo #woodring-stairs-background |
|
7,585 | 12/26/2019 | now i see spigot: hot diggity DONGS
spigot: D Y S W I D T
deuce: no not really
spigot: where one might have typed dogs, i avoided tired, wheezing cliched tropes and made a nimble end-run around audience expectation
deuce: okay then now I see what you did there |
deuce spigot |
#acronym #deuce-spigot #dongs #drunk-deuce #end-run #football #jean-charles #white-background |
|
7,586 | 12/27/2019 | all god's children (are we) pants: are we all god's children
pants: can we not first peek into the gloryous hole to observe its contents |
pants |
#despair-panel #glory-hole #god #pants-solo #uncredited-character #weird-pants-face #woodring-field-background |
|
7,587 | 12/28/2019 | god rest his soul pants: a mild case of the duh
deuce: a serious case of the fuhhhhhhhhh
deuce: a severe case of ruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
deuce: a critical case of AIDS
pants: god rest his soul |
deuce pants |
#aids #buh #deuce-pants #duh #fuh #god #ruh #urinal-background |
|
7,588 | 12/29/2019 | okay guess what spigot: PISS BOAT
deuce: TOOT TOOT
pants: CHUG CHUG
spigot: CHOO CHOO (OKAY GUESS WHAT PISS RELATED MODE OF TRANSPORTATION I AM) |
deuce pants spigot |
#deuce-pants-spigot #drunk-deuce #irc #mountain-background #piss #transportation |
|
7,589 | 12/30/2019 | slot p into tab v deuce: my dong rates 21 gigaflops
deuce: insert slot P into tab V
deuce: if you continuously integrate my balls, I will continuously deploy on your face |
deuce |
#balls #ci-cd #deuce-solo #devops #dong #software-development #woodring-field-background |
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7,590 | 12/31/2019 | GETTING AN extradition ORDER deuce: I'M CALLING MY LAWYER AND GETTING AN extradition ORDER FOR MY DICK
deuce: IT'S IN SAN PAOLO RIGHT NOW |
deuce |
#brazil #deuce-solo #dick #law #lawyer #urinal-background |