deuce: GLHGAHLAGHLGAHLAG pants: OH YEAH pants: HALGHLAGHLAHGLAHGLAG pants: HOW ABOUT THAT deuce: IT'S SPREADING (GLHAHLGAHLGH) pants: HLAHGLAHGLAHGLUAHG pants: LORD GOD IT WON'T QUIT

pants: don't make me think pants: just do what i ask pants: ow ow ow okay don't do ow exactly what i ask ow ow use common sense ow ow ow it'll grow back ow

deuce: SOMEONE TOOK A SHIT IN YOUR DRINK deuce: ALSO IT'S ALL BUBBLY AROUND THE EDGES SO MANY SOMEBODY PISSED IN IT TOO pants: THESE THINGS HAPPEN (IT'S A BIG CITY)

spigot: WE GOT COUNTDOWNS, WE GOT RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT, WE GOT GIRLS PANTOMIMING... spigot: ...EXACTLY WHAT BEATOFF STEPS TO PERFORM AND DOWNLOADABLE,... spigot: ...PRINTABLE PDFS TO ELEVATE THE CURRICULUM spigot: I DO NOT WANT ANYONE SAYING THEY LACK INSTRUCTION OR ENTHUSIASM TO... spigot: ...BEAT OFF IN 2017, IT'S A NEW DAY spigot: CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP spigot: I AM NOT CLAPPING I AM SHOUTING AT YOU TO CLAP

pants: DID YOU MEAN 'SLINKY BUBBLE-BUTTED TWINKS'? deuce: DISGUSTING deuce: YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT HOW I LIKE MY TWINKS deuce: QUICK FOLLOWUP: WHAT'S A TWINK pants: IT'S A COFFEE DRINK WHERE YOU ADD ESPRESSO TO A CUP OF HOT WATER

pants: NONESUCH AND POPPYCOCK deuce: BALDERDASH AND ALSO POSSIBLY BANDERSNATCH pants: PISHTOSH AND MISHMASH pants: REDACTED ANAL QUACKERY (IT'S A DONE DEAL)

pants: I AM GOING TO CLICK THE CHINESE FOOD BUTTON

pants: WE'RE GONNA SUCKER PUNCH SO MANY TERFS pants: BAM POW ZAP TAKE THAT "LADY"

dick: IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL / IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL dick: BUT IT STILL WON'T FIT UP MY ASS dick: OH WAIT - THERE IT WENT

deuce: HAHA deuce: I MADE A CAMGIRL CRY deuce: THANK YOU CLARENCE

spigot: SHOULD WE HAVE A DICK RATE THREAD pants: I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK

deuce: ONRAPEBEGINS, ONRAPECONTINUES, ONRAPEENDS, ONTHROATCUT pants: HANDY deuce: YES IT'S QUITE CONVENIENT

ozone: UP YOURS net: T OZONE MINE OR SOMEONE ELSE'S ozone: I THINK WE CAN GET IT ALL UP YOU IF WE TRY REALLY HARD net: BECAUSE IF YOU MEAN MINE I THINK "DOWN YOURS" IS MORE APPROPRIATE

deuce: IT'S ALMOST LIKE I'M MADE OF GOD

deuce: APPLE BAPPLE I NEED A DICK TRANSPLANT net: I'M A DONOR deuce: LET'S MAKE A DEAL

spigot: it's called wewank and it's a bunch of cubes

pants: IT'S GOT MY HEAD OW OW MAKE IT LET GO OW OW pants: OH GOD OW OW USE AMERICAN CHEESE OW OW pants: MY NECK HAS LONG SINCE BROKEN pants: ALSO I THINK FRIENDSTER IS DOWN pants: ALL I CAN DO TO EXPRESS MY DISPLEASURE IS TWITCH, FOAM pants: ALSO THIS AMERICAN FLAG ONLY HAS 9 STARS pants: WHERE ARE THE OTHER 1,001 deuce: OKAY THIS IS CLEARLY A PSYCHOTIC BREAK

deuce: SHIT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN ANYMORE IT'S GOT TO BE SOMEONE'S FAULT

pants: GET THIS THING OFF ME deuce: IT'S HEAVY HUH

deuce: I THINK YOU HAVE A PURDY MOUTH spigot: DELETE THIS deuce: SHUT

spigot: it's not easy / licking dick spigot: it is for me but / probably not so much / for you

pants: AH... THE BUM BOAT! THAT'S OUR PLACE! HALUGAHGLAHLGHAG

spigot: "IT'S NOW TIME FOR ME TO PASS 'STAR WARS' TO ON TO A NEW GENERATION OF FLLLRRRRRHHHHHGG," MR. LUCAS SAID IN A STATEMENT. "GLLLLLGGGGG." pants: WILD HORSE BENT HIS WILD HEAD pants: O MY MISTRESS AND WIFE OF MY MASTER pants: I WILL BE YOUR SERVANT FOR THE SAKE OF THE WONDERFUL GRASS

effigy: URINE deuce: DELICIOUS AND BUBBLY deuce: YELLOW AND TRUE pants: SO GLAD IT’S ONLY pants: PEE AND NOT POO

pants: IF IT EVER STOPS RAINING AGAIN LET'S LICK DICK deuce: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO THAT pants: JUST LICK DICK THEN pants: IT'S ONLY NATURAL

pants: COME AND GET YOUR LOVE deuce: IT'S REALLY STICKY pants: I DON'T NEED YOUR APPROVAL, MOTHER pants: SERIOUSLY COME AND GET YOUR LOVE IT'S RIGHT HERE

spigot: AND DAT'S DAT pants: DUSTS OFF HANDS pants: HANDS IN POCKET pants: WALKS AWAY WHISTLING

pants: forced to give head in the toilet pants: april fool's!!!!!!!! pants: i didn't say stop

spigot: a dong in my mouth spigot: i'm told it's the equivalent of a chest x-ray

pants: I AM A SIMPLE MAN deuce: WELL WE BOTH ARE pants: I SEE A COCK I PUNCH IT (AND THEN FEEL BAD LATER FOR PUNCHING THE COCK) pants: YOU KNOW WHAT pants: WE'VE LIVED RICH, FULL LIVES pants: IT'S TIME TO LIE DOWN IN THE DIRT deuce: YAY

spigot: ALL THOSE IN FAVOR spigot: FOLKS THESE WOMEN NEED ROOMS TO CLEAN AND IF THERE'S NO spigot: EXCUSE ME I HAVE THE FLOOR spigot: THE FIRST ITEM IN THE ARRAY, ITEM ZERO, WILL BE DOGSHIT spigot: HANDS UP WHO KNOWS WHY IT'S CALLED ITEM ZERO spigot: HANDS UP WHO'S HEARD OF ARRAYS spigot: HANDS UP WHO LIKES DOGSHIT spigot: FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

spigot: EVEN MY DONG BEHAVES DIFFERENTLY IF IT'S BEING OBSERVED deuce: ITS POSITION BECOMES WELL-DEFINED BUT ITS MOMENTUM BECOMES FUZZY (IT SHAKES UNCONTROLLABLY)

spigot: NNNNNGGG I'VE BEEN HACK A DOODLE DOO'D pants: YOUR DUMB GAY FRIENDS ARE HERE FOR YOU pants: WE CAN SEND $$ VIA ITUNES GIFT CARDS pants: DO YOU NEED MY SOCIAL SECURITY # deuce: SHOULD I SHOOT MYSELF IN THE HEAD TO HELP YOU RECOVER YOUR ACCOUNT pants: I THINK WE HAVE TO ASSUME THAT WE ARE DEALING WITH A RUSSIAN AGENT RATHER THAN OUR FRIEND SPIGOT (THE BEAR) deuce: YOU'RE RIGHT (SENDING HIM DICK PIX) pants: :FOOT: :DROOLING_FACE:

atandt: THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM THE JERKCITY EMERGENCY BROADCASTING SYSTEM: atandt: DO NOT MASTURBATE HERE atandt: USE WANKING CHAMBER

pants: GAY deuce: AM NOT

deuce: T SPIGOT YOU SEE RADAR LEFT HIS TEDDY BEAR AT THE CAMP WHEN HE WAS DISCHARGED BECAUSE HE HAD GROWN UP AND DIDN'T NEED IT ANYMORE spigot: SHUT UP

spigot: JUST KIDDING!!!! I STUCK THE TOILET PLUNGER UP MY ASS WHEN I GOT HOME AND I WAS JUST EMBARRASSED THAT IT BROKE OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

pants: jack **me** off deuce: 010 pants: jack me **off** deuce: 001 pants: **jack** me off deuce: 100

pants: jackoff planet deuce: beatoff aisle spigot: walgreens

spigot: A JAILHOUSE SINGALONG?!?!!? OH BOY spigot: FRERE JACQUES / FRERE JACQUES spigot: JUST THE CHILD MOLESTERS THIS TIME

spigot: IS THAT SO???? WELL HERE'S WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT!!!!!! 10-12 MINUTES FLIPPING AROUND ATTEMPTING TO GET MY REAR-END TOPMOST deuce: I DON'T WANT TO GET OFF ON A RANT HERE BUT [TREMENDOUS, NON-STOP DIARRHEA] pants: CHOPPING OFF HEADS deuce: BEATING OFF INTO JAM JARS, SEALING THEM AS TIME CAPSULES pants: BLESSED BE spigot: TURNS OUT I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deuce: JAMES WOODS CLEARLY STRAINS TOO MUCH ON THE POT pants: TOO MANY OLIVER STONE MOVIES, NOT ENOUGH GREENS

deuce: WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT THE SUPREME COURT spigot: I'M BEING INDECENT OVER HERE IN THE LADIES' ROOM spigot: DO I SAY THE DONG IS "JAMMING" INTO MY FACE OR JUST "JABBING" spigot: I'M / JUST / WILD / ABOUT / BONERS

spigot: I WOULD HAVE TO DESCRIBE "FOR BETTER OR WORSE" AS HILARIOUS, HEARTWARMING spigot: LIKEWISE GARFIELD AS A TUBBY TABBY WITH CATTITUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: YOU ARE JAMMING THE HOSE INTO MY NOSE

deuce: JANINE LINDEMAGLAGIHGL SHE SHOULD BE SHOT FOR MAKING ME TRY TO PRONOUNCE IT spigot: JANINE USELESS AND OVER THE HILL 5 YEARS AGO, STILL AROUND TO SALVAGE HER CAREER AND HER SHOP-WORN FACE deuce: RIGHT THAT'S HER LAST NAME : neniam sen mia permeso

atandt: YOU KNOW pants: WHAT? pants: OK

deuce: WHO'S GETTING ME WHAT FOR VALENTINE'S DAY PEOPLE pants: I'M GIVING YOU MY JUG OF JANUARY URINE pants: HEARTS AND FLOWERS ??? KITTENS AND HUGS ??? A DOZEN RED ROSES ??? deuce: FAGGOT pants: COCKS AND SOME MANNER OF MEAT BY-PRODUCT THAT HURTS WHEN IT ENTERS YOU ??? deuce: FUCKING : Memo to all: In the future, please do not eat cat food on the set. The smell of the empty cans is disturbing the night crew.

atandt: APPEARS JAVA ISN'T SAVING THE WORLD AS PLANNED spigot: MAYBE SOME SORT OF PISSLET

pants: GRANTING PRIVILEGES TO UNTRUSTED CLASSES ??? atandt: IMPLEMENTING MY OWN SIGNING FACILITY ??? pants: DEPLOYING REAL-WORLD SOFTWARE ON THE INTERNET ???????/ atandt: CARTOONS ABOUT COCKSUCKING AND DICKLICKING ???? pants: NOW YOU'RE TALKING THERE CHIEF atandt: I LIKED YOU BETTER WHEN YOU WERE IN A COMA (A VERY GAY COMA INDEED)

spigot: JAVASCRIPT QUESTION: spigot: HOW DO YOU COUNT THE DICKS IN MY MOUTH

deuce: THERE'S NO WAY THAT JBOD DOES NOT STAND FOR JUST A BAG OF [STATIC]

spigot: I JUST SHOWED MY NUTS TO JEAN-CHARLES AND HE DIDN'T THINK IT WAS SO FUNNY deuce: OH IS THAT BECAUSE HE'S FRENCH spigot: AND FAT, YOU KEEP FORGETTING deuce: RIGHT YEAH THANKS

pants: YOU HAVE RUINED THE QUEEN'S SURPRISE BIRTHDAY, YOU FOOL spigot: THEY WILL NEVER SEE ME IN THE HOTEL WITH THIS OUTRAGEOUS DISGUISE pants: OH MY GOODNESS THE TOILET IS OVERFLOWING spigot: HOW CAN YOU STACK THE CHEESES SO HIGH, THEY WILL SURELY TOPPLE pants: I SHOULD NEVER HAVE EATEN ALL THAT BRIE spigot: THE PASTRIES ARE COMING TOO FAST DOWN THE CHUTE (I MUST CATCH THEM ALL AND YET I AM DRUNK WITH WINE)

spigot: JEAN-CHARLES YOU CANNOT LADLE THE SAVORY CREPE BATTER ONTO THE SKILLET AND SIMULTANEOUSLY FLY THE HELICOPTER spigot: OH ZE FRENCH SPORTS STARS spigot: ZE SEVEN FRENCH SPORTS STARS JEAN-CHARLES YOU CLUMSY CLOD spigot: NOW THERE ARE NO FRENCH SPORTS STARS spigot: JEAN-CHARLES YOU HAVE INSTEAD USED THE SWEET CREPE BATTER!!!!!!!!! pants: MALAYSIA AIRLINES TOWELETTE FOUND ON WESTERN AUSTRALIA BEACH spigot: JEAN-CHARLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pants: YOU BLEW MY MIND deuce: THEN I FORCED YOU TO BLOW ME deuce: AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD deuce: ZOOM OUT, PAN AND FADE

spigot: CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP HERE COME THE HORSES spigot: HOLY CHRIST THEY'RE CRAPPING ALL OVER THE STAGE spigot: WHAT A CRAZY MESS YOU HAVE MADE JEAN-CHARLES spigot: J'TAIME pants: AND THE PRESIDENT OF THE BANK WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE spigot: ALL OVER THE SIDEWALK OUTSIDE THE CAFE THIS IS A CATASTROPHE spigot: QUICKLY, TAKE THESE SACKS OF FLOUR AND *POOMPH* spigot: JEAN CHARLES YOU KLUTZ spigot: JEAN CHARLES YOU HAVE SOILED YOUR LAST PAIR OF TROUSERS AND TODAY IS PICTURE DAY

spigot: I'M A LIMPWRITHTED JEDI MATHTER UTHING THE FORTH

spigot: I'VE MAINTAINED MY POSITION ON LOCKS/DEADBOLTS FOR OVER 20 YEARS: JEERS

pants: T SPIGOT SPOILER ALERT FOR DAHMER ON NETFLIX: pants: (GAY THEMES)

pants: LET'S INVENT MINECRAFT AND THEN EAT JELLYBEANS UNTIL WE ARE SICK

spigot: MA'AM, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE. spigot: I'M A PARAMEDIC. YOU'RE HAVING A STROKE. spigot: PLEASE LAY DOWN WITH BOTH FEET SLIGHTLY ELEVATED OVER MY SHOULDERS :jellybeans: OUT OF BOTH POCKETS spigot: WHEN ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TWO FACTOR ***DEAUTH***

spigot: TRY MAKING FIG NEWTONS WITHOUT FIGS AND ADD PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY spigot: YOU STUPID SHITS spigot: MAYBE SLIGHTLY MORE JELLY THAN PEANUT BUTTER deuce: AND THUS, SPIGOT INVENTED THE JELLY NEWTON deuce: DEUCE INSISTED IT BE CALLED THE JELLY LEIBNIZ, BUT SPIGOT VEHEMENTLY DISAGREED. YEARS OF LAWSUITS ENSUED deuce: BOTH DIED OF OLD AGE BEFORE THE CASE WAS SETTLED

deuce: I'M A JERK BUG pants: BUGGERY IT IS THEN deuce: BUT WAIT I

spigot: SO LONG STUPID CUBE WHERE DORKS CAN TALK AND PEOPLE CAN SEE MY PORN spigot: HELLO DARK LONELY LAB WITH A LOCK ON THE DOOR AND COMPLETE PRIVACY spigot: IMPORTANT WORK GOING ON IN HERE spigot: HURF BURF BREASTS

deuce: I'M JUST A JERK MACHINE

deuce: I'M A FRESH MORNING BONER deuce: JERK ME BEFORE YOU HAVE TO GO TO WORK

deuce: I WOULD LIKE TO GO OVER THE OUTLINE FOR THE EVENING AGAIN PLZ spigot: JERK, THEN THE PIZZA ARRIVES, THEN BED spigot: THE VIRGIN MARY APPEARED BEFORE ME AND THEN TOLD ME TO GO LICK DICK SO OPEN UP SIR (JINGLE CLICK) deuce: THIS ISN'T STILL PART OF MY ITINERARY IS IT

deuce: WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE LOVE ME pants: I JERK TWO DICKS BEFORE I JERK TWO DICKS pants: IT MAKES ME FEEL ALL RIGHT pants: HONK HONK HONK deuce: I DON'T UNDERSTAND

spigot: T PANTS IT TURNS OUT "NADS" IS SHORT FOR "GONADS" WHICH IS SLANG FOR BALLS spigot: ANYWAY I GOT KICKED THERE pants: YOU CAN STILL PAY RENT THROUGH RIGHT pants: A KNOCK TO THE NUTS (E.G. TESTICLES) SHOULDN'T PREVENT YOU FROM WRITING CHECKS spigot: ACTUALLY THE BONE THAT CONNECTS MY NUTS TO MY WRIST IS SPRAINED spigot: THAT'S MY JERKBONE spigot: POSSIBLY MY JIZZBONE, I'M NOT A DOCTOR

deuce: GLHGAHLGALHG dick: I HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD "GLHGAHLGALHG" IN AGES

pants: YOU THINK SO HUH pants: IF YOU CALL THE COPS SO HELP ME GOD I'LL FUCK YOU INSIDE OUT AND PUT YOUR BODY IN A DRUM pants: VALHALLA I AM COMING

pants: DO ME IN pants: JERKCITY-101 ONLY AVAILABLE EVERY OTHER QUARTER pants: OKAY THAT'S IT I'M LICKING THEM ALL OVER AGAIN FROM THE START HLUGAB HLUABGLUHALBAG :HGSA:AHG:LAGADYFG OW OW OW QUIT IT LAHGHALUGHULAHUUGLAG

deuce: IS THIS THE PART WHERE SPIGOT EXPOSES HIMSELF AND deuce: UH deuce: AND WE ALL UNCOMFORTABLY PRETEND WE CAN'T SEE HIM

pants: THIS IS JERKCITY 911 WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY atandt: THE BAD MAN HIT ME pants: YOU DON'T SAY atandt: WAL-MART ROLLS OUT 88 PER SONG SERVICE pants: CALLER WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY atandt: MOLEMEN WITH CHARCOAL HEARTS

deuce: JERKCITY ALARM spigot: IS THAT ANYTHING LIKE THE RAVE ALARM (WEARING MY TIGHT PANTS)

spigot: OKAY PEOPLE HERE'S A LIST OF EVERYTHING I'VE ACCOMPLISHED THIS WEEK:

SPIGOT: HELLO SPIGOT: SPECIAL CHRISTMAS MESSAGE FOR ALL MY JERKCITY FRIENDS SPIGOT: HO HO SPIGOT: HOO DUH SPIGOT: SUCKING IT

pants: -----BEGIN COMPRESSED RSA ENCRYPTED MESSAGE----- pants: HALGHALUG BLAHUA NUGGGGGH ANAL UHBLALAG SPIT DUH AHLUGHLAUG HBAGLUHAGHLAG pants: -----END COMPRESSED RSA ENCRYPTED MESSAGE-----

: Tonight's episode of Spigot the Bear was made possible with a [REDACTED] from Jerkcity and viewers like you. spigot: OKAY HOME TO SPURT EVERYONE spigot: SO NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE

spigot: STEP ONE IS TO SOAK ME WITH A LOAD OF SPURT spigot: STEP TWO IS TO RUN AWAY atandt: NOT EVEN A HANDI-WIPE???? ???????// spigot: LET'S NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES

spigot: MY MOUTH IS A ROCKY PLACE WHERE YOUR SEED CAN FIND NO PURCHASE pants: CALL THE ENCLAVE

pants: WE'RE INTERACTING IN A VIRTUAL ENVIRONMENT deuce: T PANTS GROSS

pants: JERKCITY FOREVER pants: FOREVER AND EVER pants: AMEN BROTHER

pants: STILL HERE pants: STILL TURNING THE CRANK, MAKING MORE pants: STILL MASTURBATING NIGHTLY TO THE WEIRD PANTS FACE pants: STILL CHOKING THEM UNCONSCIOUS THEN RUNNING AWAY WITHOUT PAYING pants: STILL DAYDREAMING ABOUT THE BRUISES I LEFT ON YOU pants: STILL RUBBING YOUR NOSE IN IT pants: STILL MOPPING IT UP WITH YOUR HAIR pants: JERKCITY FOREVER

spigot: HEY EVERYONE spigot: WHAT A SWANK SWINGIN' SCENE THIS IS WITH COCKTAILS AND FANCY TIES spigot: WAIT A MINUTE spigot: HUBRLBLHLBJHLURUBLE THIS IS A GAY PARTY HUBLAUBH spigot: PTH PTHTHTHTH GET OFF ME

pants: SHIT MAN MAYBE AFTER I'VE HAD MY COFFEE THEN WE CAN START TALKING ABOUT THE pants: OH SHIT WE'RE TOTALLY LIVE !!! COUGH COUGH COUGH DUDE pants: JEAN-CHARLES HOW COULD YOU MISTAKE THE SCREAM FOR A RESTAURANT MENU !!! YOU MUST RETURN THE PAINTING AT ONCE BEFORE ANYBODY NOTICES deuce: %RANDOM

spigot: FOLKS IF YOU WANT TO SUPPORT JERKCITY YOU CAN DO IT WITH ANONYMOUS DOLLARS SO I CAN'T TRACE IT BACK TO YOUR FUCKING SPEECH & DEBATE TEAM!!!!! OKAY?!?!?! AND GIRLS PLEASE: READ A BARELY LEGAL BEFORE RINGING MY DOORBELL

hanford: JERKCITY IS MADE POSSIBLE BY A GRANT FROM THE EXXON CORPORATION hanford: AND VIEWERS LIKE YOU hanford: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE pants: I BROKE A WINDOW

deuce: THEY'RE PEOPLE TOO pants: NOT REALLY deuce: THEY WERE ONCE PEOPLE BUT ARE NOW EMPTY SHELLS WHICH CAN BE USED FOR THINGS deuce: SO SEND IN THAT MONEY PEOPLE

deuce: LET'S TAKE OUT THAT HEROIN AND REPLACE IT WITH A HAMBURGER !!!! pants: HORNING IN ON JERKCITY PLEDGE WEEK pants: DIVERT FUNDS TO FUDGE

spigot: SALON HAS INCURRED SIGNIFICANT NET LOSSES AND NEGATIVE CASH FLOWS FROM OPERATIONS SINCE ITS INCEPTION. spigot: AS OF MARCH 31, 2002, SALON HAD AN ACCUMULATED DEFICIT OF $76.6 MILLION. spigot: DISCUSS! SALON PREMIUM SUBSCRIBERS ONLY.

spigot: JERKCITY PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: I'VE SEEN BIGGER STARS AFTER SITTING ON MY NUTS

spigot: FOLKS spigot: I AM UNVEILING NEW LEGISLATION THAT WILL TARGET ONLINE PEDOPHILES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: IT IS CALLED ME WITH MY PANTS DOWN

hanford: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM TO REPORT hanford: AS OF THE OTHER DAY, THE CAST OF JERKCITY IS ON STRIKE hanford: WE HAVE MANAGED TO ARRANGE ALTERNATE ENTERTAINMENT hanford: I HOPE YOU ALL DON'T MIND A GARDENING SERIES IN PLACE OF THE USUAL hanford: GIVEN THE BUDGET CONSTRAINTS, IT WAS THE BEST WE COULD DO ON SHORT NOTICE hanford: WE WILL KEEP YOU UPDATED ON THE STRIKE hanford: IN THE MEANTIME, PLEASE ENJOY "UNTITLED GARDENING PROJECT"

hanford: IT ONLY SEEMS FAIR THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE TO LEARN YOUR LINES pants: I CANNOT AFFORD THE DILLY-DALLY pants: ARE YOU THE MAN WITH THE FOUR WAY HIPS atandt: SERIOUSLY LOOK HOW WIDE MY MOUTH IS hanford: IS IT FAIR TO SAY THAT NEGOTIATIONS ARE STALLED pants: I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT atandt: SOME KIND OF QUEER GERBIL WITH A FEZ AND LEDERHOSEN hanford: APBNEWS.COM OR LIVING.COM MIGHT BUY US pants: I WANT TO SUCK YOUR COCK atandt: I CALL THIS MY FIGHTING IRISH POSE pants: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU atandt: I'M NOT ON STRIKE pants: SCAB

atandt: CHOOSY MOTHERS CHOOSE JPG atandt: THOSE BASTARDS BURNED DOWN THE SET DURING LAST NIGHT'S FOOD RIOTS atandt: SOYLENT GREEN IS DELICIOUS pants: SCAB !!!!!!!!

pants: AND I'M ALL NO WAY ASSHOLE pants: AND HE'S ALL I'M GOING TO SUCK THAT DICK OF YOURS deuce: T PANTS NEITHER OF US ARE SMART ENOUGH TO MAKE IT INTO COLLEGE pants: AND I'M LIKE NOT EVEN

spigot: I AM TRULY UNDER THE SEA spigot: SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK spigot: WELL HERE COMES THE UNDERWATER DESSERT CART RIGHT NOW spigot: THESE PASTRIES AND PIES ARE SOAKING WET BUT WHO CARES spigot: HOMPH HOMPH HOMPH LEMON HOMPH HOMPH HOMPH HOMPH APRICOT spigot: NEXT TIME I'LL BE AN ASTRONAUT SO I CAN SAMPLE THE DELICIOUS SPACE CAKES spigot: GLUB spigot: GLUB