spigot: NO THANKS, I DON'T LIKE TO POO IN MY PANTS. spigot: HURRR SMOOSHED FLAT AND SQUARE INTO THE SIDE OF THE STALL LIKE ONE OF STEVEN SODERBERGH'S VINTAGE LENSES spigot: NINE ERECTIONS REMAINING

pants: THE MIGHTY BUFFALO pants: T DEUCE HEY YOU GOT ANY SHIRTS THAT NEED STARCH OR ANY RAILROADS YOU NEED BUILT pants: MAYBE AN OPIUM DEN NEEDS MANAGEMENT TYPES deuce: WHAT DID I MISS

atandt: WE SHOULD LICK LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW deuce: I THINK WE SHOULD SUCK LIKE IT IS 1999 SO THERE WE OBVIOUSLY DIFFER atandt: I THINK I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO A POSSIBLE COMPROMISE

deuce: DALEKS AND CYBERMEN spigot: MY DONG IS WHAT YOU WOULD CALL "AL DENTE"

pants: FORCED ANAL pants: T DEUCE NO WAIT pants: ANAL BY CHOICE

pants: EATING DICK IS LONELY WITH A SPORK deuce: WOW THERE YOU ARE deuce: I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR YOU deuce: ESCORT THE EXECUTIVE OFFICER TO HIS QUARTERS AND LOCK HIM THERE pants: NO WAY

deuce: LGHLAHGLAHGLAHGLAHGLAHGLAHGA pants: GHLAGHLHUALGHALGHULAG pants: MINE'S SMALLER deuce: NO WAY, MINE'S SMALLER pants: PUSH IT SOMEWHAT WELL deuce: YOU SHOULD PROBABLY, MAYBE DO IT; THEREFORE, PUT SOME BUT NOT ALL, OF YOUR BACK INTO IT

pants: YOU MIGHT SAY I'M SANS SERIF IF YOU KNOW WHAT I HURRR pants: VICODIN FOR THE ASS pants: AMBIEN FOR WHAT AILS YA pants: DELICIOUS AFTER DINNER MINTS FOR EVERYTHING ELSE pants: AND YA DON'T STOP pants: IS THAT YOUR DREAMCATCHER pants: I SWEAR I KNOW WHO THE MONSTER IS (pants): WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR

spigot: THAT'S NO WAY TO BEHAVE spigot: HUHHHHHH spigot: PRICKASAURUS FACE

deuce: T SPIGOT THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN TELL ME THAT MY NUTS AREN'T BIGGER THAN YOURS BY AT LEAST A YARD CIRCUMFERENCE

spigot: WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN IN SCIENCE??? spigot: WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN IN TECH??? spigot: WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN ENGINEERS??? spigot: WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN MATHEMATICIANS??? spigot: WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN SUPERHEROES??? spigot: WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN CEO'S ??? spigot: WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN DIRECTORS ??? spigot: WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN GAME DESIGNERS ?? spigot: WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN IN THE WRITER'S ROOM ??? spigot: WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN IN COMEDY ??? spigot: IT'S LIKE A BEAUTIFUL DREAM

spigot: nobody cared who I was until I pulled out my dong

spigot: IF YOU LICK A DICKIN THE WOODS spigot: AND NOBODYIS AROUND TO HEAR IT spigot: WHERE DID IT COME FROM

spigot: NOBODY LIKES A QUITTER (IN CURSIVE: 2UITTER)

spigot: ARE YOU USING THE SINGLETON PATTERN spigot: BEATING OFF DOWN THE CHIMNEY deuce: VISITOR PATTERN FOLLOWED BY THE MOLESTING PATTERN pants: NOBODY MOVE NOBODY GET HURT

effigy: MY HEAD HAS CAVED IN deuce: NOW'S MY CHANCE TO LAY EGGS

deuce: OKAY GOING TO BED AND HOPEFULLY I WILL WAKE UP {{{ DEAD }}} deuce: I'M GONNA POO LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS TOMORROW I TELL YOU WHAT deuce: WAIT WAS THAT OUT LOUD deuce: GOTTA GO

pants: whatcha got down there pants: nothing pants: you're dead pants: i mean nobody's dead pants: let's go out to dinner pants: ow you're pushing me pants: you're hurting my arm pants: bye

spigot: T PANTS DIDN'T SEE YOU AT THE MCNUGGET BUDDIES SCRUM deuce: HE WAS BANNED FROM THOSE IN 2021 FOR REASONS THEY ARE NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DISCLOSE pants: I PUT THEM IN MY BOTTOM

spigot: U GOT NOG ROLLED spigot: IN THAT YOU DRANK EGG NOG AND ORDERED EGG ROLLS AND NOW YOU'RE ON THE TOILET IN THE DARK

dick: THE DEEP DARK NIGHT OF MY ASS pants: I HATE COLE PORTER deuce: I'M AN ASSET TAG

deuce: RRRRRRR NONSTOP DIARRHEA

effigy: SOMEONE SHOULD HOOK UP AN NFT FOR SALE FOR EVERY BQ EPISODE pants: BUY NOW BUTTON effigy: [BID NOW] pants: CAN WE LEASE NFTS

spigot: MY NON-VERBAL CHILD pants: HULAHGLAG

deuce: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE SAYING spigot: NONE OF THIS MATTERS

pants: MY BONER IS ALIVE

spigot: CLEAR spigot: QUIT spigot: EX spigot: MAYBE /EX spigot: HOLY GOD I'M TRAPPED IN THE MATRIX deuce: FUCKING SPEAK ENGLISH spigot: DO YOU HAVE NOODLES AT YOUR HOUSE????????? deuce: RAMEN spigot: I JUST NEED A COCK AND A PLACE TO SIT spigot: OH MY WEARY WANDERING ASS

effigy: :HIGH_HEEL: pants: SEE WHAT YOU DID, NOW I HAVE TO BEAT OFF

spigot: i don't blank panels unless they add weight between lines and i don't like spoilers in the title spigot: i don't blank panels. normal complete sentence.

spigot: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY CAN'T WE HAVE NORMAL SEX spigot: PUT YOUR FACE IN THE TOILET AND LET ME POO ON YOU

pants: NORMALIZE FARTING OVER ZOOM spigot: EARLIER THIS QUARTER WE TOUCHED ON YOU EATING YOUR LOSER WAD FOR MY BIG FAKE TITS spigot: HAS THE NEEDLE MOVED ON THAT AT ALL

pants: CAN'T YOU BEAT OFF NORMALLY deuce: NO, I HAVE TO CRY REALLY LOUDLY

pants: WILL YOU SIT WITH ME deuce: ONLY IF YOU WIPE ME (HAVE BEEN NEEDING A WIPE FOR A GOOD THREE HOURS NOW) pants: RAINCHECK deuce: VERY WELL I WILL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER PATRON pants: YOU WON'T HAVE TO LOOK FAR (NOSE AND GLASSES) deuce: IN THE GAHGAHLGAHLGAHLAGHL OF THE GAHLGALHAGHLGAHLGAHLGALHGAHLGA

spigot: if licking dick is wrong i'll just stop doing it, not a big deal

pants: drink from me deuce: you are not a container nor are you a receptacle pants: yet i can hold liquid

spigot: NOT A DAY GOES BY WHERE I DON'T JERK MYSELF UNTIL I GET A STOMACH ACHE

:the: OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS HAS BEEN AUTHORIZED deuce: THIS IS NOT A DRILL

deuce: NOT A GOOD SIGN WHEN YOUR FUCKING FAGGY INHALER COMES WITH THREE REFILLS pants: YOU CAN STILL SMOKE THOUGH RIGHT

pants: I AM NOT A PONY

pants: T DEUCE WHAT DO YOU PROGRAM HTML IN deuce: HTML IS INCREDIBLY COMPLICATED AND QUITE FRANKLY TOO HARD FOR A POOR LITTLE WEB CODER LIKE ME pants: ALSO IS FAG-POINT-OH A REAL VERSION NUMBER deuce: I'M A WEB PROFESSIONAL SLASH GAS METER READER

pants: AND NOT A SINGLE ANIMAL CRACKER ESCAPED PANTS' ATTENTION deuce: AND THE MORNING AND THEN THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL pants: THE END

spigot: NOT ACCUSING YOU, BUT FIVE PEPPERONI HOT POCKETS ARE MISSING

spigot: HEY EVERYONE!!!! I'M A FUCKING PEDOPHILE AND HERE ARE MY GIFS!!!! FUCK YOU TO THE FBI!!!!!!! spigot: GOOGLE IS NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE AUTHORS OF THIS PAGE NOR RESPONSIBLE FOR ITS CONTENT. deuce: SPIGOT WILL PLAY THE ROLE OF BOTH THE OFFENDING DICKHEAD AND THE GOOGLE CACHE

spigot: I DUNK MY NUTS IN BBQ SAUCE (SOMETIMES HONEY MUSTARD) spigot: BLURF DURF I'M A MCNUGGET pants: ARE YOU GOING TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE OR NOT spigot: NOT AFRAID

pants: MISTER BLUEBIRD / ON MY SHOULDER pants: RAPING HIM pants: I'M GOING TO LICK THESE STONE COLD DICKS pants: POO INSPECTION (HOLD STILL) pants: POO, A BOWL OF pants: T DEUCE MY CANNIBALS HAVE EATEN YOUR MISSIONARIES pants: DIT DIT DIT DOT DOT DOT DIT DIT DIT pants: SAVE OUR SNAUSAGES deuce: NOT AGAIN

spigot: NO MORE FAG MCMUFFINS OR WHATEVER THEY'RE CALLED

spigot: PLAINTIFF IN-N-OUT BURGERS, A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION ("PLAINTIFF" OR "IN-N-OUT") BY AND THROUGH ITS UNDERSIGNED COUNSEL spigot: HAMBURGER SANDWICHES AND CHEESEBURGER SANDIWCHES, HOT COFFEE, AND MILKSHAKES FOR CONSUMPTION ON OR OFF THE PREMISES (IC 030); MILK AND FRENCH FRIED POTATOES FOR CONSUMPTION ON OR OFF THE PREMISES (IC 029); spigot: NOT ANOTHER WORD UNTIL I SEE A LAWYER

deuce: I CAN'T QUIT YOU pants: ORBITING LIKE SATELLITES

pants: ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE FAGS

atandt: I NEVER MET A POO I DIDN'T LIKE pants: CURRY GIVES IT FLAVOR atandt: I MEANT PLATONICALLY

deuce: T PANTS I THINK I LEFT MY KINDLE AT YOUR HOUSE (CHECK BEHIND THE HEADREST OF THE BED, IT PROBABLY FELL OFF BEHIND THE BED) JUST CRAM YOUR FACE/ASS IN THERE AND FIND OUT pants: CAN'T THINK OF A SINGLE REASON NOT TO WEDGE MY FACE AND HEAD AND ARM BETWEEN THE HEADREST AND THE WALL SO HERE WE GO!!! pants: THE CATS ARE BITING ME AND I'M NOT EVEN DEAD YET

pants: NOBODY LIKES ANAL (NOT EVEN HUMANS) deuce: PORNSTARS SURE DON'T deuce: THEIR PAINFUL GRIMACE REVEALS THEIR SORROW pants: DOES MY GAY MOUSTACHE LOOK GAY (WITH THIS COCK NEARBY) (HOVERING)

pants: RUB-A-DUB-DUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU AND ME IN SEPARATE BATHROOMS NOT EVEN THINKING GAY THINGS deuce: CLEARLY THAT'S SUSTAINABLE SO IT'S OKAY deuce: WHATEVER THAT FUCKING WORD MEANS BECAUSE IT'S USED SO OFTEN IN SO MANY COMPLETELY UNRELATED CONTEXTS pants: JUSTIFY ME deuce: CAN I JUST SHOOT MYSELF NOW pants: WOMEN IN TECH

pants: BLARGH JIZZ BOMB deuce: BOOOOOOOOOM deuce: IT'S LIKE NAPALM EXCEPT IT'S JIZZ NOT FIRE pants: CHRIST THAT STUFF MAKES ME HARD

pants: JERKCITY IS NOT FOR SALE (SORRY DISNEY)

spigot: I'M JUST NOT SURE I'D TRUST A RAPE TEST KIT FROM TEMU

spigot: I LOVE GIRLS EVERYONE spigot: I'M STRAIGHT spigot: HATING FAGS RIGHT NOW spigot: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK spigot: MMM HURR LOVING DICK spigot: NOT GAY PEOPLE deuce: T SPIGOT I GOT YOUR MAIL AND CAME AS SOON AS I COULD

deuce: I'M SAYING THAT WHATEVER I AM, AND IT'S NOT REALLY CLEAR AT THIS POINT deuce: IT'S THE DIAMETRICAL OPPOSITE OF GAY deuce: THERE'S GAY AND THEN THERE'S ME deuce: TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS deuce: CAN WE MAKE A CHANNEL #NOT-GAY THAT ONLY I CAN JOIN TO DEMONSTRATE THIS FACT deuce: HELLO IS THIS THING EVEN ON pants: I BELIEVE YOUHONEY NOW FOLLOWME TO THEBATHROOM deuce: WAIT THIS ISN'T THE BATHROO deuce: GREAT I FELL INTO ANOTHER WORMHOLE

pants: SERIOUSLY, FLAPPITY BATS ARE ON MY MIND THESE DAYS (NOT GIRLS, NOT FAST CARS, NOT PUNCHING PROSTITUTES AND RUNNING AWAY, JUST FLAPPITY BATS) pants: SITTING ON THE TOILET, FORCING MY BIG WHITE DOPEY AMERICAN DICK TO POINT DOWN INTO THE BOWL INSTEAD OF SQUIRTING PISS ALL OVER THE HERE AND THERE ozone: WINDOWSMEHARD DISK PICTURE 1 pants: IF YOU THINK THIS IS EASY YOU SHOULD TRY IT

deuce: THERE WILL NEVER BE A LAST CASE pants: somebody fucked a monkey deuce: why is everyone being such a baby it's only killed (looks at paperwork) 3.6 roentgens ... not great, not terrible

spigot: THE DONG WHISPERER deuce: I THINK I DESERVE A **BLOWJOB** spigot: OKAY THE DONG SHOUTER deuce: I'VE SERVED MY COUNTRY WELL AND I LIKE **BLOWJOBS** spigot: OKAY THE DONG LICKER deuce: IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR DONG IS IT

: DEUCE LEAVES CHANNEL FAGGOT net: WHEN THE DEUCE LEAVES I JUST SLAM MY NUTS IN A DRAWER AND THEN I DON'T MISS HIM SO MUCH (net): NOT HARD ENOUGH -- STILL MISS HIM

deuce: HLGLHGAHLGAHLAGLHALHA spigot: DUH?!?! deuce: I THINK SO YES !!! spigot: DONGS??!??! EXHAUSTED deuce: NOT HAVING ANY IDEA WHAT WE'RE DISCUSSING spigot: REALLY QUITE HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TIRED

spigot: HAVE NOT HEARD ONE SINGLE HEALTH CARE WORKER SAY THANK YOU

deuce: IS THIS HEAVEN pants: IT MUST BE BECAUSE I SEE AN ANGEL deuce: LGAGAGHLAGGAH HLGHGHLGHLGH GAHLAGHAG LHGAHLG MY JESUS GOD THIS IS NOT HEAVEN AT ALL pants: HLAHGLAH GLAHLGHALGHLAH GLHAGLH LAHLAG THIS IS THE JERSEY TURNPIKE HALGHALUG

pants: SERIOUSLY CAN I EAT IT DOES IT GO IN MY FUCKING MOUTH pants: WHAT'S THE DEAL HERE HELP ME OUT CHIEF SHOW ME THE MONEY pants: YOU CATCH IT ONCE pants: YOU CATCH IT TWICE pants: YOU CATCH IT WITH YOUR LOVE DEVICE

deuce: I'M A VAMPIRE atandt: SUCK THIS deuce: THAT'S NOT HELPING ME JERK OFF

spigot: THIS ISN'T MY LIVING ROOM!!!!!!! spigot: HANG ON PORN STARS AT THE DOOR spigot: NOPE, STONED

deuce: CLICK BOOOOOOOOO deuce: ME HANGING UP THE PHONE spigot: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO spigot: IT'S NOT HUNG UP

net: WHO WILL BE GAY WITH ME deuce: I SHALL NOT (GROPING YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK) net: OKAY THEN ANY OTHER TAKERS deuce: WHICH I GUESS WOULD BE YOUR ASS (STILL GROPING WHILE I TALK) net: YOU COULD BE DOING A REACHAROUND deuce: SIR I'LL DO WHAT I LIKE (STILL AT IT)

pants: BUT NOT IN A GAY WAY MORE OF AN ACADEMIC EXERCISE deuce: PLANNING TO WRITE A PAPER ABOUT IT, NEVER DOING IT

pants: OH GOD ARE YOU BEATING OFF TO THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG pants: JUST NOD ONCE FOR THE PRINCESS OR TWICE FOR THE FROG (NOT JUDGING YOU) deuce: SILENCE deuce: NODDING THREE TIMES (BOTH) pants: HOLY

pants: CAN WE WHAT spigot: CROSSTALK CHANGE THE WATER IN THIS THING UNINTELLIGIBLE NOT JUST THE COLD WATER I LIKE THE WHOLE BONG CHILLED pants: GGGGGGGGGGGG YEAH THE G KEY WORKS spigot: CHECK ONE TWO pants: HI HELLO TESTING IS THIS THING ON TEST TEST spigot: I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY

: SPIGOT LEFT THE ROOM. pants: T SPIGOT COME BACK I HAVE A REAL BONER NOW pants: THIS TIME pants: NOT LYING ABOUT MY BONER

spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND MY BALLS OUT UNTO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE spigot: THE AMERICAN PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES deuce: NOT ME spigot: HI deuce: I SAID NOT ME

pants: PORN AND DICK spigot: ABSOLUTELY IN THAT ORDER pants: HAVE WE GOT A CONSENSUS HERE pants: IT'S DICK WE'RE ALL WORRIED ABOUT spigot: NOT ME

pants: HUGE DONGS deuce: IT AIN'T MY RODEO deuce: BIG DONGS pants: K

deuce: WHY CAN'T I BE LOVED deuce: IT'S NOT MY FAULT I CAN'T CONTROL MY BOWELS/MOUTH

pants: WHY WON'T WIKIPEDIA DELETE THE JERKCITY ARTICLE atandt: UH WELL pants: I'LL TELL YOU WHY !!! BECAUSE THEY ARE CHIEFLY COMPOSED OF COMMUNISTS, GOLDBRICKERS, LAYABOUTS, BACKHANDERS, GRIFTERS, SUSPECTED HOMOSEXUALS AND CARD-CARRYING NAMBLA MEMBERS atandt: OH MY

effigy: COMMAND-OPTION : REBUILDS THE DESKTOP spigot: NOT ON MY WATCH (SPLURK, SPLORT)

spigot: YOU KNOW I JUST REALIZED I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR THREE HOURS AND NOT ONCE HAVE I ASKED _HOW_ MY WIFE AND CHILDREN WERE MURDERED spigot: YES I WOULD LIKE MORE WATER

deuce: I BEAT OFF TO THE SMELL OF POOP deuce: I MEAN HOT CHICKS deuce: HOT CHICKS deuce: NOT POOP

pants: BUT IF THIS ISN'T REALITY THEN WHAT IS REAL pants: THAT BELL'S GONNA BE HARD TO UNRING

spigot: THE HANDS OF THE CLOCK TELL ME IT'S TIME FOR DOPE spigot: THEY'RE NOT REAL BANANAS, THEY JUST WEAR PAJAMAS FOR THE SHOW deuce: LIAR

spigot: DRAWING DICKS ON MY FACE, PRETENDING TO PASS OUT (NOT REALLY A SOLUTION)

deuce: wanna touch my junk deuce: okay I'm not really asking

spigot: i ask that you kindly address my neurodiversity spigot: OW GOD NOT SO LOUD spigot: STOP spigot: never mind jesus spigot: oh there's nobody there

deuce: COCKSUCKING BEHAVIOR IS CONTROLLED BY THE PANCREAS pants: EEW deuce: AS WE ALL LEARNED IN SCIENTICIAN STUDY pants: GROSSED OUT BY THE PANCREAS PART OF THE COCKSUCKING deuce: BUT THAT'S NOT STOPPING YOU IS IT pants: NO SIR

spigot: DON'T TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE NOT A GIRL bung: T SPIGOT HI [NOT SURE]

spigot: NOT SURE IF IT'S TIME FOR SECONDARY, TERTIARY BONG HITS?!?!?! deuce: QUATERNARY spigot: IS THERE SUCH OF A THING AS DODECAHEDRONARY

spigot: NOT SURE IF YOU'RE UP AT 3AM BUT WE GOT A HOT SUPPORT ISSUE HERE spigot: ARE YOU NOT BY YOUR PHONE? LEAVING A VOICEMAIL 3:14AM spigot: HEY ME AGAIN

deuce: I'M A HEXAGON pants: RAPING YOU WITH AN IKEA WRENCH deuce: I'M NOT THAT KIND OF HEXAGON pants: NOW YOU ARE

deuce: HOW ABOUT THAT SCOTT ADAMS' ADVENTURE WHERE YOU HAD TO KNOW WHAT FLOTSAM AND JETSAM MEANT ???? pants: BERT AND NORD GROPE EACH OTHER IN THE JOHN

spigot: YOU GO TO WAR WITH THE DICKS YOU'VE LICKED, NOT THE DICKS YOU WISHED YOU'D LICKED

deuce: GHLUAHLHALHULAG pants: YOU THINK SO HUH deuce: HBLUHGLAHULAHBAG pants: ARE YOU TALKING TO ME deuce: BLGAUHLGABHLUHLAUBAG pants: NOT THE FACE