deuce: GIVE INTO THE GAY SIDE spigot: I'VE GOT TO GET ORGANIZED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: HONK spigot: OFFICE HUMOR deuce: RRRRRRRRRRRRR

spigot: where's the official bq app that takes your photo and draws FAG across the bottom with an up arrow

deuce: MY CROTCHABLE AREA IS OFFICIALLY A HOOTENANNY

deuce: FOLKS I'M OFFICIALLY COMING OUT AS ***STRAIGHT*** pants: HOLY GOD MISTER deuce: I MEAN ***BORED*** pants: CAN I GO HOME NOW

deuce: I am officially fat deuce: no clothes fit well, I constantly feel uncomfortable deuce: welp, better eat something

pants: I'M OFFICIALLY TIRED OF THE WORD "TROPES" spigot: HOW ABOUT BESPOKE

spigot: OH BOY HERE'S SPIGOT AGAIN spigot: PISS : SPIGOT LEAVES

spigot: OH BOY HERE'S SPIGOT AGAIN spigot: EITHER I CAN GET DICK HERE OR I CAN'T spigot: STOP NICKEL AND DIMING ME ALREADY

deuce: OH CHRIST FUCK YOU'RE STUFFING ME IN THE GENIE LAMP

pants: HURRRRRRRRRRR pants: MY SMOOTH BONER pants: YOU'VE DISHONORED THIS TALKER AND THIS MUD AND THIS MOO pants: NOW YOU MUST PAY pants: PREPARE TO DIE pants: OF ALL THE NERVE pants: WHAT A REVOLTING DEVELOPMENT pants: OH CRUEL FATE

spigot: PLEASE PASS THE VEGAN APPLE PRUNECAKE spigot: OH DEAR I DROPPED IT AND STEPPED ALL OVER IT AND GOT PIZZA HUT spigot: :MANS_SHOE: ONE MORE SMOOSH BECAUSE FUCK YOU

pants: I'D BE BUMMED IF MY BONGHITS GOT IN THE WAY OF OUR OH FUCK IT I HATE YOU (BONG NOISES)

net: I HAVE HAD SEX WITH 5000 DIFFERENT FILTHY HOLES IN BOOKSTORE WALLS pants: 5000 AND ..... ONE

pants: CAN YOU SEE I'M PLAYING DUCK DUCK DEUCE pants: HOW DO YOU OH GOD pants: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD pants: PLUMP DUMPLINGS deuce: I ALWAYS WIN THIS GAME

spigot: BLAM BLAM BLAM spigot: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM OH GOD ALL OVER AGAIN spigot: WE SHOULDA SWEPT THE BUILDING

pants: KNEEPADS: CHECK pants: RUNNING SHOES: CHECK pants: GOGGLES: CHECK

deuce: I HAVE TO PEE deuce: WHAT DO I DO deuce: OH GOD OH GOD

spigot: IN MY MINIVAN WITH MY HAPPY MUSIC ON THE WAY TO JERKCITY?!?!?!?!?! spigot: OH GOD WE'RE ROLLING spigot: BONK * CRASH * FLIP * SPLASH

deuce: DON'T THINK JUST KISS ME pants: NOT IF YOU TAKE MONEY FROM GEORGE SOROS deuce: BUT ONLY A LITTLE pants: ALSO TAKE OFF YOUR HIJAB AND LET ME SEE YOUR PRETTY PRETTY OH GOD YOU'RE A MONSTER deuce: LOVE GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO BE FREE pants: OH GOD TENACLES AND TOO MANY EYES AND A BEAK

pants: I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BONG BUBBLES

spigot: PICARD CAN BEAT KIRK'S FAT LIMPY ASS AND LEGS INTO THE TOILET

pants: IF I COULD JUST PLEASE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION FOR ONE MINUTE PLEASE I HAVE SOME ANNOUNCEMENTS TO MAKE pants: DEUCE, INFANTRY, FIRST DIVISION, SHIP OUT AT 04:00 pants: THAT IS ALL

pants: oh mercy pants: which one of you strapping young bucks will catch my fall pants: feelin' chunky

deuce: STATE OF EMERGENCY deuce: NATIONAL GUARD MOBILIZED deuce: ACTIVATING ROBOCOP

pants: OH NO I BROKE MY DANGER HIPTOP SIDEKICK

pants: ATTENTION pants: CLEAR ALL CHANNELS FOR POSSIBLE EMERGENCY RE-ENTRY pants: OH NO NOT AGAIN

deuce: WHAT ABOUT MARTIAN DICKS pants: WHAT IF YOU STOPPED TIME AND BROKE YOUR NECK TRYING TO LICK YOUR OWN DICK pants: ARE WE JUST ALL STUCK THE

net: YOU'RE GONNA GET IT NOW deuce: OH SHIT

deuce: I HOPE YOU GO EASIER ON MY NUTS THAN USUAL net: REPEAT AFTER ME: SLURP SLURP SLURP

atandt: T DEUCE I MUST QUESTION YOUR AUTHORITY IN THIS MATTER deuce: T ATANDT DON'T FIGHT YOUR URGES

spigot: JERKING MY WAY THROUGH ART SCHOOL

: Windows : ed. To continue: : rn to Windows, or : to restart your computer. If you do this, : nsaved information in all open applications. : 00002060 : Press any key to continue _

deuce: OH SHIT deuce: NO NOT THE MOUTH PLEASE deuce: PLEASE MOUTHABLES BHALBHLABHL

spigot: OH THAT DIVINE MISS BETTE MIDLER!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: OH THAT SUPERSTAR BARBRA STREISAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: OH THE HILARIOUS CAMP OF THE WIZARD OF OZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: OH THAT LUSCIOUS TOILET PLUNGER BREAKING IN HALF AND GETTING SHOVED UP MY USELESS FANNY

pants: YOU PROMISED UBERDONGS pants: I ONLY SEE THIS DIRTY BUCKET OF DONGS HERE pants: WHAT HAVE WE WROUGHT

pants: SUCKING DICK ON MONSTER ISLAND pants: SHORT TUGBOAT TRIP TO ISLE OF NABOOMBU FOR LUNCH (JUST LUNCH) pants: SUCKING DICK ON KONG ISLAND pants: JUST AN 18 HOUR PLANE RIDE TO THE ISLAND OF DOCTOR MOREAU TO SUCK SOME APE-MAN DICK pants: NOW I'M SUCKING DICK AT CLUB PENGUIN

pants: WHY IS IT WRONG pants: WHY NOT INDULGE YOURSELF HALGHLGHAG pants: VIVA LA PANTS

deuce: HURBLE BURBLE deuce: I NEED A MOUTHING OVER HERE

spigot: OH spigot: WELL spigot: I'VE spigot: GOT A BIG ERECTION / IN MY PANTS spigot: IN MY PANTS spigot: YES I'VE GOT A BIG ERECTION / IN MY PANTS spigot: (IN MY PANTS) spigot: YES I'VE -- HANG ON pants: NEXT SLIDE PLEASE

pants: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MY EYE NOW I'M MORE THAN HALF BLIND pants: I SHOULD HAVE NEVER SASSED THAT COCK pants: BUT OH WHAT A FEELING

ozone: IT SEEMS PANTS CANNOT SHUT UP ABOUT THE UPCOMING SPIDER-MAN MOVIE ozone: OH WON'T YOU SHUT UP pants: MY VACUUM CLEANER BROKE AGAIN AND ALSO I MIGHT BE GAY

spigot: YOU'RE SMOTHERING ME IN THIS RELATIONSHIP deuce: OH YEAH THAT'S RIGHT YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A SKULL WITH A MOUTH NEVER MIND

pants: PANTS IV: IN SEARCH OF COCK deuce: OH YEAH WELL DEUCE IV: THE QUEST FOR PISS

spigot: T PANTS I'VE GOT PHOTOS OF YOU GETTING GAY IN THE BACK ROOM pants: T SPIGOT OH YOU DO NOT IT WAS TOO DARK IN THERE FOR PICTURES TO COME OUT PROPERLY

pants: HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO DO THIS deuce: YOU'LL KNOWWHEN I'M DONE

effigy: I THINK I'VE LOST MY ERECTION inebriated crustacean: THEN GET OUT

deuce: OKAY ozone: HEY THIS ISN'T THE DEUCE deuce: OKAY ozone: JUST SOME GUY WITH APHASIA ozone: WHERE'S THE DEUCE? deuce: OKAY

spigot: PISS BOAT deuce: TOOT TOOT pants: CHUG CHUG spigot: CHOO CHOO (OKAY GUESS WHAT PISS RELATED MODE OF TRANSPORTATION I AM)

spigot: OKAY MADONNA!!!!!!!! WE ALL GET THE IDEA!!!!!! YOUR LOVE JUST KEEPS GETTING PUSHED OVER THE GOD DAMN BORDERLINE

spigot: OPTIMIZED FOR DICKS spigot: WAIT spigot: OKAY NOW I AM OPTIMIZED FOR DICKS !!!!!!!!!!!

spigot: OKAY NOW I'M AN AMBULANCE spigot: OKAY NOW I'M A SCHOOLBUS ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ spigot: HEY LOOK AT ALL THE POLYGONS MMF URF STUFFING DONUTS INTO ME

deuce: IT'S COLD pants: PISSING deuce: SOMEONE HOLD ME pants: PISSING!!! deuce: I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME pants: PISSING!!!!!!!!!! deuce: OKAY OKAY ALREADY deuce: JEEZ

spigot: TRYING TO OVERLOAD += HERE deuce: OKAY PEOPLE: HEAD spigot: SO MOUTH += STRINGPTR(BALLS) SHOULD WORK BUT I NEED MORE MEMORY spigot: ALSO NEED MORE FOODS WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS deuce: SOMEONE SIGHUPPED MY MOUTH

spigot: OKAY QUIET NO TALKING DURING MACNEIL/LEHRER deuce: DON'T TRY AND FOOL US SPIGOT EVERYONE KNOWS THAT YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND THAT STUFF spigot: TRYING TO LEARN ABOUT BONSIA AND CHEVENESERESSCHIHA

pants: NOBODY CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM pants: OKAY SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

deuce: NEED A QUESTION ANSWERED URGENTLY deuce: IF THERE'S A SHEMALE BUT IT HAS BUNNY EARS THEN IT'S NOT GAY RIGHT deuce: OKAY THANKS I THOUGHT SO (STILL GAY) deuce: 50.00001% FEMALE OR MALE OR IS IT LIKE HAVING A PLURALITY BUT NOT A MAJORITY deuce: BUT YOU STILL WIN (NOT GAY) deuce: DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT BUT I'M TOTALLY NOT GAY pants: GROSS, DUDE deuce: I WAS ASKING FOR A FRIEND

spigot: HERE WE GO / HERE WE GO / HERE WE GO / AGAIN spigot: GIRLS WHAT'S MY WEAKNESS / MATH spigot: ALSO I TALK DURING SHOWS

deuce: GIRLS WHAT'S MY WEAKNESS spigot: COCKS pants: OKAY THEN

spigot: ME AND THE MISSUS HAD A GOOD CRY AND IT TURNS OUT IT'S OKAY THAT I'M GAY spigot: CAN I PLEASE STAY IN YOUR HOUSE UNTIL MARCH deuce: WHEEEE

pants: POOR BERNIE MADOFF deuce: I HOPE HE'S OKAY TONIGHT

deuce: WHERE'S THE POT YOU WERE GOING TO SELL ME spigot: I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME JUST TO USE YOUR MONEY AND BUY BURGERS AND THEN SMOKE IT MYSELF deuce: OH WELL I GUESS THAT'S OKAY spigot: T DEUCE BY BURGERS I OF COURSE MEAN BONERS deuce: OH WELL I GUESS THAT'S OKAY TOO

spigot: OKAY, HOME TO CUT MY DICK OFF

deuce: WELL I SURE SLEPT LIKE SHIT dick: AND I DIDN'T POOP VERY WELL pants: WHAT deuce: RIOTING dick: NO TOO TIRED, HAVE TO NAP deuce: JEALOUS pants: WHAT pants: HOLD ON MY HEARING AID IS OFF pants: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE pants: MAYBE JUST WRITE DOWN YOUR REQUEST AND BURY IT IN THE FOREST

deuce: I AM EXPERIENCING THE PARADOX OF TIME DILATION DUE TO SPECIAL RELATIVITY pants: I'M OLD deuce: YOU HAVE BEEN HERE PATIENTLY WAITING FOR ME ALL THIS TIME

pants: T SPIGOT WHY CAN'T IT BE MY AL CAPONE CAP WHY DOES IT GOTTA BE THE OLD MAN CAP spigot: HORSEPLAY

deuce: I JUST UNPACKED SOME BOXES OF NOODLE SOUP AND PUT THEM ON A HIGH SHELF AND NOW I'M WINDED AND DIZZY

spigot: OLD MCDONALD HAD A PRICK spigot: E I OW spigot: OWWWWWWWWWW

spigot: YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL ********** WORLDSTAR ********** JUST CAUSE I'M LICKING A DICK

pants: CAN WE GO TO OLIVE GARDEN spigot: IF WE PRACTICE AND REMAIN IN THE AGREED-UPON SOPRANOS CHARACDIBS ON GAY VITO pants: I CALL PAULIE deuce: HURRR MEADOW

dick: uh deuce: omg pants: fuh spigot: unsubscribe

spigot: how about darth vader uses baby yoda as a fleshlight on a planet made of dog shit

spigot: SENNNNNNNNNNNNNNURK pants: I AM SWAYING IN THE BREEZE

spigot: I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HONESTLY RATE MY DONG ON A SCALE FROM DICKS TO PRICKS

spigot: A RENEGADE COP ON AN OUTPOST AT THE EDGE OF SPACE spigot: IN A WORLD IN THE LAND BEFORE TIME FORGOT spigot: FORUMS, BLOGS

deuce: I'm a little teapot pants: are you deuce: I am deuce: would a teapot lie to you pants: ya might deuce: on behalf of all teapots I am offended at your insinuation

pants: YOU CAN OWN ME BUT WITHOUT THE 0 AND DEFINITELY WITHOUT THE P pants: ALSO NO FUNNY COMBINATIONS (P BEFORE 0, P IN PLACE OF 0 OR O) pants: I'LL JUST LIE BACK AND THINK OF ENGLAND (FOR SOME REASON)

spigot: I KEEP MY PAGER CLIPPED BETWEEN MY NUTS LIKE A STAPLE spigot: SO IF ANYONE FROM WORK NEEDS ME I'LL KNOW spigot: WHEN MY PAGER VIBRATES I GET A NOSEBLEED AND A BONER

deuce: JUST KEEP ADDING BATCHES OF 100 UNTIL IT SLOWS DOWN, THEN EXERCISE JUDGEMENT pants: THAT'S EXACTLY THE SPHERE OF RESPONSIBILITY THAT SHOULD BE BESTOWED UPON ME: EXERCISING JUDGEMENT

effigy: I AM BQ QA deuce: BUT YOU HAVE PRIDE deuce: SO YOU'RE BQ QE deuce: YOU DON'T ASSURE QUALITY, YOU ENGINEER QUALITY deuce: WITH YOUR PRIDE ?️‍?

net: I MUST EAT MORE OTHERWISE I WON'T GET FAT ENOUGH deuce: T NET THE WAY I SEE IT DURING THE TIMES WHEN YOU'RE NOT EATING YOU'RE ACTUALLY *LOSING* WEIGHT deuce: SO IT MAKES SENSE TO PORK UP net: YAY NOT JUST FROZEN PIZZA BUT LEFTOVER FROZEN PIZZA

spigot: my foot is on fire but everyone thinks it's leaves

pants: i like the piss sticks made fresh not the frozen ones deuce: but freezing piss is the only way to make it solid??? pants: you can also give them a stern look and they go into stick form right away and if that doesn't work ask to speak to their manager deuce: the husband of the manager pants: a woman manager??????????????????? <h1>give me a break</h1>

pants: LET'S TOUCH DICKS spigot: CAN I BORROW A STEPHEN KING NOVEL OR POSSIBLY A NOVELLA spigot: SERIOUSLY IT'S A LONG TRAIN RIDE BACK TO WHEREVER IT IS I'M GOING AND I'D REALLY LIKE SOME COMPANY pants: FOR GOD'S SAKE LET US TOUCH DICKS BEFORE THE SUN COMES UP AND WE TURN INTO DUST OR PUMPKINS OR MICE OR WHATEVER spigot: CARRIE'S SHINING TOMMYKNOCKERS

pants: MOSTLY THE URINE pants: YES I KNOW IT'S AN AWFUL MESS pants: AGAIN, I'D HAVE TO SAY MOSTLY THE URINE

atandt: HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY atandt: DON'T FORGET TO LAUGH AT A DISABLED VETERAN atandt: THEY KILLED INNOCENT CHILDREN FOR YOU deuce: THAT'S COOL spigot: DID YOU LOSE YOUR LEGS SUCKING COCK IN A BATH HOUSE

deuce: LASAGNA IS SO FUCKING GOOD pants: SUCKING THINGS deuce: MMM LASAGNA

spigot: I'M ONLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: URF HUHHHHH spigot: OFFLINE

: According to legend, alcohol was the principal factor contributing to Gay City's next upheaval. pants: SMALL PILES OF SHIT ON A BAKING TRAY, PUT IN OVEN deuce: PRETTY SURE THAT'S HOW THE WHOLE PROCESS WORKS ANYWAY deuce: IF YOU LIKE BURNT SHIT ON YOUR HANDS I GUESS pants: BUM ME OUT

deuce: LET'S REVERSE ENGINEER MY BALLS bung: IS THE GOAL LARGER/FASTER BALLS OR CHEAPER BALLS? deuce: T BUNG THE GOAL IS TO FIGURE OUT HOW THEY WORK !!!!! DUH bung: T DEUCE THEY WORK LIKE THIS: bung: SMACK SMACK SMACK ON MY CHIN

spigot: licking dick on my own terms!!!!! and at orchard supply

pants: DROWN ME IN THE DROWNING BUCKET deuce: BEATIFY ME deuce: ON SECOND THOUGHT NOW THAT I'VE LOOKED THAT WORD UP NEVER MIND

spigot: ON THE COUNT OF THREE EVERYONE LICK DICK spigot: MEVER MINB

spigot: MY DONG IS TRULY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER

spigot: I'M BUSY STUDYING UP ON THE HISTORY OF BLACK COCK

pants: I REALLY NEED TO SPEAK WITH THE REAL TUPAC THIS TIME pants: YES, I'LL HOLD

spigot: SOMETHING WITH THE AM BEING FM spigot: WAIT THAT'S A CLOCK RADIO spigot: COMPUTER'S IN MY ROOM HANG ON spigot: OKAY NOW I HAVE THE COMPUTER ON THE FUTON WITH ME spigot: TURNS OUT I JUST HAD MY HEAD IN THE TOILET

spigot: DID YOU PUT BONEQUEST ON THE MOON AS A PRANK

pants: POOLS OF DICK AWAIT ME ON THE MOON pants: NOTHING'S GOING TO STOP ME FROM CHOKING ALL OF THESE DOWN AT ONCE spigot: BUT I HAD THREE BAGELS IN THE FRIDGE?!?!?!

spigot: OKAY HERE I HAVE AN ORDINARY EVERYDAY DOLLAR BILL spigot: NOW WATCH, I'LL TAKE BOTH EN spigot: HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR spigot: CONSIDER THIS DECK OF CARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

spigot: MY MOUTH REMAINS UNLOCKED DURING BUSINESS HOURS spigot: IF 7-11'S ARE OPEN 24 HOURS, WHY CAN'T I STOP SUCKING COCK ON THE TRAIN TRACKS