first uncredited woman: MY CUNT GLOWS YELLOW second uncredited woman: I ALMOST CRASHED INTO A TREE pants: BITCHES LEAVE NOW

.(pants): I LICK DICK pants: PSSST pants: I LICK DICK deuce: T PANTS YOU HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM EXPRESSING YOUR TRUE FEELINGS

pants: NUGGGGGGGGH pants: I AM LEAVING FOR CONSTANTINOPLE TONIGHT

pants: ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY GAVE ME HALF-A-STAR

pants: POKING THE INSIDES WITH A STICK pants: WATCHING THEM SHIVER pants: THEN EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT

pants: WE WERE FUNNING AROUND YOUR HONOR pants: DOCTORS SAY SHE WON'T WALK AGAIN BUT PROSTITUTES DON'T NEED TO WALK pants: THEY DO??? pants: I THOUGHT THEY COULD INCHWORM AROUND pants: I DON'T LIKE THIS COURTROOM SCENE pants: LET'S TALK ABOUT THE GAY BLACK COP ON THE SHIELD INSTEAD deuce: HE'S REALLY GAY pants: HAVE YOU SEEN HOW GODDAMN GAY HE IS deuce: CAN I GO NOW

pants: LET'S PLAY MONOPOLY pants: YOU GO FIRST pants: NUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

spigot: T PANTS LEAVING CANDY ON THE KITCHEN TABLE EARNS UP TO 100 PANTS POINTS pants: T SPIGOT WHAT ARE PANTS POINTS REDEEMABLE FOR spigot: PANTS REWARDS

pants: HE EAR AND A WORTHY MAN HE IS, AND A MAN A TARTAR T HE WAS THE STERNEST AND MOST SEVERE ALL ROUND SLATES. SCRAPS OF OLD COPY-BOOKS CAME FORTH WITH A FULL OF SKELETONS SWARMING ALL CONTENT-TYPE: GIF; V1AGRA SUPER HARD P3N1S VISA/MC

deuce: HANDS UP WHO JERKS OFF TO CHARLIZE THERON : PANTS SLOWLY RAISES HIS HAND deuce: T PANTS I AM CHARLIZE THERON pants: I SUCK COCK YOU KNOW deuce: I SEE

pants: THE GIANT SPIDER IS JUST INTO SITTING STILL AND SIGHING !!! I WILL PET HIM !!!! OW OW pants: OW OW HE DOES NOT APPEAR TO HAVE A DICK I CAN LICK OW OW OW pants: TOO MANY

pants: feelin' kinda cruisy pants: who should i call??? pants: buck rogers??? pants: superman??? pants: terry & the pirates??? pants: tailspin tommy??? pants: mandrake the magician??? pants: brick bradford??? pants: dick tracy??? pants: prince valiant??? pants: the katzenjammer kids???/

pants: JESUS IS PRACTICALLY COMMANDING ME TO LIFT HIS ROBE deuce: WELL deuce: YOU'D BETTER DO IT deuce: HE HAS A WICKED MEAN BITE

pants: WELL I TAMED THE BONER MONSTER !!! WHO WANTS TO PET IT

pants: A SERIES OF DISGUSTING FARTS FILLED THE ROOM deuce: PANTS-MADE FARTS

pants: I WANT TO BRING TOGETHER A BUNCH OF ALTERNATE REALITIES SO I CAN MEET STRAIGHT PANTS, COP PANTS, MARINE PANTS, MUSTACHE PANTS, BLACK PANTS, PANTS THE BOXER AND PANTS, FRIEND OF ANIMALS pants: FLIP FLIP FLIP pants: HIPSTER PANTS, RUNNING BACK PANTS (NOT NFL GOOD BUT PROFESSIONAL), ROCK STAR PANTS, TWITTER CELEBRITY PANTS, SECURITY GUARD-AS-A-CAREER PANTS, BROOKLYN PANTS, CANADA PANTS, FAT PANTS, FATTER PANTS deuce: B-B-BUT

spigot: T DEUCE HELP ME THINK OF A REASON WHY PANTS' PEPPERONI HOT POCKETS WOULD BE MISSING FROM THE FREEZER THAT DOESN'T POINT TO ME spigot: SO FAR I'VE THOUGHT OF "DEUCE ATE THEM"

pants: PANTIES pants: PANTY-LINERS pants: A GARDEN HOSE GOES UP MY ASS

pants: PAP SMEARS FOR ALL : PANTS LEFT THE ROOM. deuce: PHEW deuce: PERSONALLY I NEVER LIKED HIS PAP SMEARS I ALWAYS THOUGHT HE DID A LOUSY JOB

spigot: HI I'M MARILYN VOS SAVANT, PERHAPS YOU'VE SEEN ME SUCKING DICK IN "PARADE" spigot: I'M THE WORLD'S MOST BRILLIANT WOMAN AND I CAN'T STOP WITH THE JIZZ ALL OVER THE FACE spigot: PERHAPS YOU'VE SEEN ME NEXT TO BILL HOEST'S "THE LAUGH PARADE"

spigot: A-SEVENTY SIX spigot: TROM spigot: BONES spigot: IN THE spigot: TACKLED

spigot: PARDON ME BUT I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MIND

atandt: FOLKS WE'RE DOING SOME REMODELING atandt: I HAVE ISSUES WITH MY FATNESS, MY GAYNESS, MY LOCH NESS MONSTER

pants: MY KNUCKLES HURT pants: I SHOULD NEVER HAVE GONE OUT TO PARTY WITH MUPPETS pants: THANKS TO PARIS THE DIPSHIT I HAD TO CHANGE MY PHONE NUMBER

spigot: AND HE SUCKED IT, HE DIDN'T SLIP ON IT OR JUST LOOK AT IT THROUGH A WINDOW

pants: WHAT TIME IS OUR COSPLAY DINNER AND WHAT PARKING LOT WILL WE BE COSPLAYING IN deuce: NaN

spigot: I BUILT A PARTICLE COLLIDER IN MY SOCK

spigot: FUCKING YOUR STUPID PANSY FACE AND STOMPING IT INTO THE MUD spigot: PULLING YOUR PANTS DOWN AND BREAKING NOT ONE NOT TWO BUT THREE BROOMS spigot: JAMMING MY THUMBS INTO YOUR EYEBALLS AND RUINING YOUR CONNECTIVITY YOU STUPID COCKSUCKER pants: I SENSE ANGER

spigot: PINK HEARTS spigot: YELLOW MOONS spigot: ORANGE STARS spigot: GREEN CLOVERS spigot: BLUE DIAMONDS spigot: PURPLE BRUISES spigot: FAT BONERS spigot: I DON'T LIKE THIS CEREAL ANYMORE

dick: I AM A RADIOMETER AND I SPIN NOT BECAUSE OF THE PARTICLE-LIKE NATURE OF LIGHT

pants: HERE'S THE DEAL pants: LEAN IN ALL CLOSE TO ME AND SHIT SO I CAN WHISPER pants: YOU DISTRACT THE TRANSIT COPS WITH A "PARTY CAR" AND I'LL EXPOSE MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM DURING THE CONFUSION !!! [REDACTED] BUT ME

deuce: I'm a Pascal string spigot: crispy . . . . . . . . . . . . . spigot: (wait for it) spigot: times two deuce: fuck my brown ass

spigot: folks: when i say i need to "pass" on a meeting, it's not an invitation to reschedule the meeting

spigot: ROCCO'S FAVORITE REFACTORING TECHNIQUES 4 deuce: GIANNA MICHAELS TEACHES TYPING

pants: SPIT SPIT CHOKE SPIT pants: GLRRRRRRRRRRKKKKK pants: CAN'T GET IT UP pants: POUND POUND POUND pants: CAN'T MAKE IT GO DOWN NOW pants: WHAT THE HELL MAN pants: WHAT THE HELL pants: PASS IT ON

spigot: I NOTICE WHEN I CLEAN THE PIPE THE DOPE SMOKE ACTUALLY GETS ME HIGH !!!!!!!! BEEP DEUCE PASS IT ON !!!!!!!!! deuce: I DO NOT BELIEVE ONE WORD OF THAT spigot: THINK OF IT AS PUNCHING A WOMAN IN THE MOUTH TO ENSURE A MORE FOCUSED "B.J." IF YOU KNOW WHERE I'M GOING WITH THAT deuce: NO BUT NOW I'M AROUSED

pants: MY COCK: IT'S FUCKING HUGE pants: WELL FOR A SHORT TIME ANYWAY THEN *BAM* BACK TO MICROPENIS pants: GET A HOSE

pants: AVOIDING FERTILITY TESTS IS A CRIME

spigot: more of a passive shooter

spigot: WORKING ON MY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE SHITHEAD ENGINEER CHARACTER spigot: SIGH!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: CAN YOU SEND ME A ***WORKING*** LINK TO AN ***INTELLIGENT*** JSFIDDLE?????????????????

spigot: PASSWORD STRENGTH: LIMP pants: WFH ROD

spigot: WHOEVER JIZZED ALL OVER MY WHEELCHAIR I HOPE YOU GET IN TROUBLE spigot: I'M STAYING UP PAST MY BEDTIME TO SUCK DICK AND NOBODY'S HERE spigot: MAKES ME WONDER WHY JERKCITY EVEN EXISTS

deuce: wheezing pants: are you having a pepsi day deuce: gurgle pants: are you past your expiration date deuce: hiss

pants: PASTRIES IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM !!!!!! pants: PASTRIES AND PIES AND ALL THINGS GREAT AND SMALL FILLED WITH JELLY, CUSTARD spigot: GO AWAY, YOU HORRIBLE PEAR-SHAPED ADMIN pants: GASP spigot: YES!!!!! YOUR BIG FAT ASS IS BLOCKING MY OTHERWISE PERFECT VIEW OF EMPTY SPACE pants: EYES FILLING UP WITH TEARS spigot: I SAID FUCKING GET OUT!!!!! pants: SOB CHOKE DUH spigot: HOMPTH HURMPTH COFFEE CAKE

pants: CRAZY COCKS pants: I HOPE TO PATENT THEM/THOSE deuce: THE COCKS ??? deuce: OR THE USAGE OF THE COCKS IN THAT MANNER pants: I HAVE NO IDEA, I JUST WANT A PATENT deuce: I SEE pants: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT: YOU CAN PATENT ME AND I'LL PATENT YOU

ozone: LSD net: PISS BOMBS deuce: MY PATHETIC LITTLE PRICK deuce: IT'S A CARCINOGEN pants: ALL THIS WEEK ON A&E

spigot: WHY CAN'T EVERY SPORTS PERSON BE FOUND DEAD IN A BROTHEL deuce: PATIENCE MY FRIEND

spigot: LIFTING A LEG AND TRYING TO FART BUT NOTHING HAPPENS WHILE ALL THE PROGRAMMERS FROM INDIA SIT QUIETLY pants: WAITING PATIENTLY FOR THE FARTS

: Featured here: Spigot (left) AKA "Spigot the Bear", Deuce (right) AKA [REDACTED] same individual affiliated with crime-fighting duo [REDACTED] Do not approach without backup. spigot: WAITING FOR COCKS deuce: COCKS spigot: THERE THEY ARE

pants: HAPPY PATRIOT DAY !!! deuce: IS IT WRONG TO JERK OFF TO THE HYPNOSIS SCENE IN OFFICE SPACE pants: ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME ??? HAPPY PATRIOT DAY !!!! deuce: I HAVE A SEVERE CASE OF ADULT-ONSET FAGGOTRY pants: MAN'S INHUMANITY TO ALL THE WORLD'S LITTLE BONERS MMMM DUH KISSING THEIR LITTLE HEADS MMMMMM DICKS MMM deuce: ARTHUR MILLER IS SERIOUSLY SUMMING UP MY LOVE FOR COCK

spigot: I AM THE PIE MAN spigot: KOO KOO BUH DUH spigot: DOES ORAL SEX COUNT AS GAY SEX

spigot: CHECKING MY REAR END FOR MALWARE pants: IN MY DAY WE DIDN'T HAVE NOTHING UP OUR REAR ENDS <PAULIE-WALNUTS.GIF>

deuce: MY FARTS SMELL BAD: IT'S AMAZING THAT CONSIDERING THE COMPOSITION OF THE HUMAN BODY THAT SO MUCH SULFUR CAN COME OUT OF MY ASS IN GASEOUS FORM WITHOUT ME DYING (SULFUR HAS THE CHEMICAL SYMBOL S BY THE WAY) deuce: DICKS deuce: PAY ATTENTION TO ME OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU'RE A GIRL

spigot: HURRR I REALLY AM PAYING AT THE PUMP

deuce: LUV U pants: LUV U MORE pants: HIDING UNDERNEATH THE OUTHOUSE, WAITING FOR PAYLOAD TO ARRIVE pants: AND I FOR ONE pants: HUHHHHHHH *FOOMPH* AIRLOCK deuce: UNCONSCIOUSNESS IN 10-15 SECONDS, DEATH IN MINUTES

spigot: THE DAY THE UNIVERSE WENT OFF THE AIR BECAUSE NOBODY PLEDGED $300 FOR A FUCKING TOTE BAG?!?!? spigot: IS OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING NOT ENOUGH!?!?!?!? spigot: RE: PANTS DEUCE AND SPIGOT GIVING IT THEIR ALL EVERY MIDNIGHT

pants: MAGNETO WAS RIGHT pants: PEACE WAS NEVER AN OPTION pants: HULAGHLAHGLUAHUGL THIS IS THE ZODIAC SPEAKING AHLUGUALHLUAHUGLAG

deuce: OUR CIVILIZATION HAS REACHED PEAK PISS pants: GO ON deuce: WHOOPS NOPE A LITTLE MORE JUST DRIBBLED OUT pants: ARE WE GOOD HERE THEN

deuce: GET OFF YOUR ASS AND PURGE YOURSELF SO YOU WON'T BE SO FAT spigot: I'M OUT OF COOKIE DOUGH ICE CREAM PEOPLE spigot: MMM PEANUT BUTTER FUDGESICLES POKING INTO MY spigot: WAIT

deuce: :PEANUTS: :POPCORN: :GIFT:

pants: T SPIGOT ARE YOU SAYING WE SHOULD-- [CHOPPED OFF HEAD FALLS NEATLY INTO BASKET, PEASANTS CHEER]

deuce: A QUANTITY THAT HAS BOTH A MAGNITUDE AND A DIRECTION IS CALLED A PECKER pants: THEN PECKER ME UP AND WE'LL FLY INTO THE HORIZON

pants: (I VOTE FOR MORE SUFFERAGE) pants: (AND LESS ROUGHAGE) deuce: GET OUT OF HERE SIR deuce: YOU HAVE CONTAMINATED THE POOL pants: I MUST BE CONFUSED deuce: IT'S THE PECKING ORDER MOTHERFUCKER pants: IT'S MORE LIKE A CIRCLE deuce: T PANTS THAT WOULD BE A LINE

deuce: PEE FIGHT spigot: WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO spigot: THIS IS CHANNEL #FUNNYJOKES NOT CHANNEL #PRESSRELEASE

spigot: APOLOGIZE FOR THE PEE IN MY KIMCHEE pants: I CANNOT pants: I STAND BY MY PLACEMENT OF THE URINE AND I'M SURE THE COMMITTEE WILL SEE IT THAT WAY AS WELL pants: T SPIGOT THE PISS COMMITTEE

spigot: PUT ME DOWN FOR A SQUIRT FACIAL POV spigot: AND spigot: HOLD THE GAPE deuce: PEEING INTO GIRLS' BUTTS pants: WILL SIR REQUIRE A RUBDOWN

deuce: HURRAY FOR CODEWARRIOR'S PEEPHOLE OPTIMIZATION spigot: I HEARD PEEPHOLE AND THEN SPURTED SO WE ALL HAVE TO REBOOT spigot: ALSO PLEASE TURN THE LIGHTS OFF SO WE CAN BE ANONYMOUS

deuce: SO I SIGNED UP FOR JOINING A PENAL COLONY BUT WELL LONG STORY SHORT IT WASN'T WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE net: WE HAVE ALL MADE THAT MISTAKE

deuce: WHOO HOO deuce: WHY IS THE BIRD PERCHED ON HIS P-P-P- deuce: AND WHY DOES HE HAVE AN ER-R-R- atandt: THAT'S NOT MY PENIS OR MY BIRD

spigot: DO YOU THINK MICHAEL FARADAY EVER LOCKED HIS PENIS IN ONE OF HIS OWN CAGES deuce: HIS PENIS WOULD THEN BE UNABLE TO SEND ELECTROMAGNETIC SIGNALS OUT spigot: ARE WE TO BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT HE EJACULATES

deuce: FREEDOM FRIES pants: LIBERTY CABBAGE deuce: FRIENDSHIP SAUCE

spigot: PENIS PROBLEMS??? spigot: TRY BRINGING ME A PENIS SOLUTION

deuce: PENIS PUMPS pants: GODDAMN YOU

: Your search - penisgriefing - did not match any documents. pants: MY MOUTH MIGHT BE DESCRIBED AS SEMI-AUTOMATIC deuce: I CAN ADJUST IT TO BE FULLY AUTOMATIC

pants: I SEE YOU MASTURBATING LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT AND I SAY "SLOW IT DOWN TAKE YOUR TIME" ALSO I MET ELVIS IN A PAYTOILET IN GOLDEN GATE PARK atandt: MORE LIKE A BI-CURIOUS CIRCLE JERK atandt: OK WHO'S IN pants: PANTS SLOWLY RAISES BOTH HANDS deuce: DUH

pants: HELLO MY NAME IS DOODLES pants: WATCH ME FLAP MY ARMS AND FLY AWAY pants: I WORK AT THE YARN BARN pants: WHERE PEOPLE WILL NOT JUDGE ME FOR BEING A COMPLETE FAGGOT deuce: T PANTS PEOPLE CAN'T FLY pants: T DEUCE PEOPLE DO

net: CAN DICKS BE LICKED PEOPLE pants: PEOPLE DO net: T PANTS SHALL WE DIAGRAM THE SENTENCE pants: T NET READY AND WILLING pants: I HAVE MY DANCING SHOES ON pants: WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS net: THE SUBJECT IS DICKS AND THE VERB IS "CAN" pants: EXCELLENT deuce: ASSIBLE pants: QUITE RIGHT net: THEREFORE net: "PEOPLE DO" IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE pants: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH

pants: MOST PEOPLE THAT I MEET pants: I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH pants: THEN SLIT THEIR THROATS pants: AND SORT OF JERK OFF IN THEM pants: JUST TO JERK OFF LOTS AND GO NUTSO spigot: LITTLE HELP

pants: YOU ARE GOING TO EAT THE DICK OR DIE TRYING

spigot: SPLUB SPUH BLHBLHBL PUH THTPEHT BITTER deuce: FAG

spigot: CAN WE ALL JUST GET THE TWITTER AND FACEBOOK AND LINKED IN LOGOS TATTOOED ON OUR FUCKING FACES pants: PEPSI AND THE LED ZEPPELIN ZOSO

deuce: I'M AN INTERVAL OF A MINOR THIRD deuce: COMBINED WITH A PERFECT FIFTH deuce: FOLLOWED CLOSELY AND SWIFTLY BY A MINOR SEVENTH

pants: T DEUCE IF I HAD A BAND IT WOULD BE CALLED "PERFECT HOODIE WEATHER" deuce: DONGS

pants: AN ARC OF URINE deuce: WITH PERFECT LAMINAR FLOW pants: COOL, CALM AND COLLECTED (IN THE TOILET, NEAR THE TOILET) deuce: SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED, OH GOD PISS

deuce: GOT TO FIND A NICE QUIET PLACE TO SMOKE CRACK pants: MY MOUTH IS THE PERFECT NOISE-FREE ENVIRONMENT YOU SEEK pants: COME pants: ENTER pants: SIT DOWN AND REST

deuce: FILLING IT WITH FOAM pants: FOOOOOOOOOMPH PERFECT SILENCE FOREVER

spigot: when they re-released the sopranos the engineers had to magnify, reframe, chop and crop the old timey 4:3 aspect ratio into the contemporary 16:9 but somehow meadow's tits were always perfectly centered the entire time ????? spigot: AHULGHUALG pants: HAGLAHGLUHUALG pants: i dunno, t

net: YOU'RE EITHER WITH ME OR YOU'RE AGAINST ME atandt: I AM ALL OVER YOU ON TOP OF YOU AND INSIDE YOU net: I'LL PUT YOU DOWN AS "WITH ME" atandt: THREE TIMES A LADY

(deuce): QUIET DICKSUCKING deuce: ANGRY DICKSUCKING (deuce): QUIET DICKSUCKING deuce: PEACE !!! deuce: THANK YOU deuce: THAT WAS MY PERFORMANCE ART deuce: IT WAS REALLY REALLY AWFUL LIKE ALL GOOD PERFORMANCE ART SHOULD BE

pants: NURK BRAP DUH pants: SO MUCH PENIS FOR ONE MAN pants: PERHAPS... TOO MUCH deuce: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT

spigot: PERL CAN HELP ME ITERATE OVER THE COCKS IN A GIVEN STALL, MARK EACH AS SUCKED OR UNSUCKED AND SORT THEM BY LENGTH. THEN I CAN BE GAY WITH PISS AND GO HOME AND TAKE A NAP

spigot: DID I ASK FOR PERMISSION TO FUCK YOUR FACE??? I RATHER DOUBHT$($ deuce: GHLGAHLGA

spigot: AND IF THE FOOD IS TOO BIG FOR MY MOUTH IT'S A PROBLEM FOR THE COURTS spigot: PERMISSION TO TREAT THE WITNESS AS OBESE spigot: YOUR HONOR PLEASE INSTRUCT THE DEFENDANT TO PUT ON THE BIB AND EAT THE ENTIRE PIE

pants: are you here to warn me not to bury my son at the pet cemetary spigot: i thought there would be fluttering flags and cartwheeling clowns pants: executive producer: james franco

deuce: T PANTS I HAVE A KITTY deuce: PET THE KITTY pants: PISS ALL OVER THE FUCKIN' FLOOR deuce: FUCK YEAH

spigot: SUNNYVALE GOLFLAND USA YOUR SILENCE IS DEAFENING RE: ISRAEL

spigot: CAN WE PLAY PHANTOM STALLBOOTH spigot: HOO BOY I'M BORED WHAT'S THIS A CARDBOARD STALL spigot: HONK BONK SUDDENLY IN TOILET LAND spigot: URF DUH LEARNING ABOUT NUMBERS AND LETTERS AND JIZZ spigot: MATHEMAJIZZMOP ??? deuce: THIS IS LIKE SESAME STREET BUT WITHOUT THE SESAME AND QUITE FRANKLY THERE'S NOT MUCH STREET EITHER deuce: SO I GUESS IT'S KIND OF A SESAME RAPE deuce: (WITHOUT THE SESAME BUT WITH EXTRA RAPE)

deuce: HAVE A VERY BERRY CHRISTMAS deuce: GET IT deuce: IT SOUNDS LIKE MERRY BUT IT IS IN FACT A DIFFERENT WORD deuce: WORDS THAT SOUND ALIKE BUT HAVE DIFFERENT MEANINGS ARE CALLED HOMOPHOBES