pants: HE WAS LICKING OUR DICKS THE WHOLE TIME !!!!!!!!!! pants: SERIOUSLY SLOBBERING ON THEM pants: MINE IS PRACTICALLY SHINING/GLISTENING pants: ANYWAY IT GOT SUCKED IS WHAT I'M SAYING deuce: GLHGAHLAG LHAGHLAG deuce: DUDE IT'S COATED WITH SALIVA AND ITS OWN JIZZ AND A LITTLE BIT OF TEARS pants: AND SOME HONEY MUSTARD I THINK pants: WHAT KIND OF A FAG MUSTARDS UP A PERFECTLY GOOD COCK : PANTS HAS BEEN SENDING MESSAGES TO YOU TOO RAPIDLY, AND IS NOW BEING IGNORED.

deuce: YOU'VE STRETCHED OUT MY FEELINGS AND MADE THEM HURT

deuce: SOME MANNER OF FAGGOT spigot: SERVICE ME WITH DONG deuce: I'M FRESH OUT spigot: WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR BACKPACK (LOOKS LIKE DONG) deuce: STOP STARING

(spigot): SOMETIMES I SET THE ALARM FOR 4AM AND WAKE UP AND JUST CHECK TO SEE IF MY COCKBOT'S OKAY

deuce: I'M A SETI@HOME USER !!!!! deuce: I TRACK THE PROGRESS OF MY WORK UNITS VERY CLOSELY !!!!!!! deuce: I CAN TELL YOU WHERE IN THE SKY MY WORK UNITS ARE FROM !!!!!!!!! deuce: I FEEL LIKE I HAVE THE RIGHT -- deuce: NAY, RESPONISIBLITY -- deuce: TO OPEN MY FAT FUCKING MOUTH deuce: WHENEVER I THINK OF SOME SHIT STUPID SCHEME FOR IMPROVING SETI !!!!!!! deuce: SIR YOUR BOOT AND MY NECK spigot: I HACKED THE SETI SCREEN SAVER SO IT ALWAYS LOOKS SPIKEY AND IMPORTANT!!!! deuce: NOT KIDDING ABOUT THAT BOOT spigot: I WILL WIN THE PEACE PRIZE, REWARD MONEY

pants: PUT ME IN THE HAMPER, I'M DIRTY deuce: SETTING YOU ON FIRE INSTEAD

pants: I LIKE POO SO VERY MUCH deuce: SETTLE DOWN OR I'LL CALL THE FEDS

spigot: JUST PUT THE SETUP IN THE TITLE AND THE PUNCHLINE IN THE GREY TEXT IF YOU'RE SO GODDAMN LAZY deuce: I WILL spigot: THEN YOUR "USERBASE" CAN CLIP AND SAVE FRAME ZERO LIKE A LAUNDRY TICKET AND ENJOY THEIR FAGGOTY FRIDAY FUCKTOONS ON THE BUS deuce: YOU'RE AFRAME ZERO spigot: AND YOU'RE ACTUALLY AFRAME :POINT_RIGHT: :POINT_RIGHT: :POINT_RIGHT: DICKLICKER :POINT_LEFT: :POINT_LEFT: :POINT_LEFT: IF YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT ????? pants: FOLKS, FOLKS deuce: AS USUAL, FUCKNUT HEREIS MAKING THINGS HARDERBUT NOT BETTER spigot: THE HARD DATA PROVESEVERYONE IS A SHITHEADEXCEPT ME pants: SHHHHHHH spigot: HE IS LITERALLY PUTTING THE STUPIDEST NOT-FUNNY SHIT IN HERE deuce: IT IS LITERALLY ALL STUPID NOT-FUNNY SHIT YOU FUCKING BUFFOON pants: SHHHHHHHH spigot: BUT SOME IS BETTER deuce: YOU ARE MADEOF GARBAGE pants: SHHHHHHHH pants: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

deuce: SEVEN STAGES OF DICKLICKERY dick: SEVEN DEGREES OF PLEASE STOPPING BEATING ME deuce: OW OW OW OW OW deuce: I SURE HOPE THE LAST STAGE IS ACCEPTANCE deuce: BECAUSE THIS IS REALLY HURTING ME deuce: OW OW OW OW OW

pants: T DEUCE WE NEED FLIGHTS TO BUENOS AIRES TONIGHT, BRING YOUR HANDGUN AND YOUR CAT (IN A CRATE) pants: T DEUCE BUENOS AIRES TRIP CANCELED, EVERYTHING'S FINE NOW (JUST NEED YOU TO HELP ME DIG A HOLE) deuce: I WILL HAVE A HEART ATTACK WHILE DIGGING AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO DIG TWO HOLES deuce: SO REALLY YOU'RE BEST LEAVING ME OUT OF IT (ONE FEWER HOLE TO DIG) deuce: I WILL NOT COMPLETE EVEN ONE HOLE deuce: THIS IS THE SEVEN STAGES OF GRIEF AND I'M STILL ON `NEGOTIATION`

spigot: I'LL SEE YOUR 76 FAT PRICKS IN THE BIG PARADE AND RAISE YOU 110 BIG FAT DONGS CLOSE AT HAND

spigot: ACCORDING TO THE COSMIC CALENDAR I'VE ONLY BEEN LICKING DICK FOR HALF A SECOND BUT HONESTLY IT FEELS LIKE SEVERAL HOURS

spigot: I WOULD STING AND DROWN STEVE IRWIN SEVERAL TIMES A DAY deuce: NOTE: HE DID NOT ACTUALLY DROWN deuce: THE IMPORTANT THING IS THE STINGRAY GOT AWAY WITH IT deuce: JUSTIFIED, NO CHARGES FILED deuce: RETURNED HOME TO A TICKER-TAPE PARADE deuce: GIVEN THE KEY TO THE (UNDERWATER) CITY deuce: MANY FAWNING INTERVIEWS ON STINGRAY TELEVISION deuce: BUT CABLE, NOT BROADCAST

pants: GET ON GET ON GET ON pants: GET ON GET ON GET ON pants: OKAY GET OFF GET OFF GET OFFA ME spigot: I'M JUST FUCKING STANDING HERE

spigot: MY HAPPY OPEN MOUTH pants: SEWAGE CAN BACK UP INTO YOUR HOME : Microsoft Chat : /!\ The user deuce is not conne pants: SEWAGE CAN BACK UP INTO YOUR HOME pants: SEWAGE CA| : [ OK ] deuce: SEWAGE IS COOL

spigot: SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: I NEED GAS MONEY

deuce: SEX pants: YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION!!!!!!!!! pants: AND NOW YOU DON'T (I SPOTTED A MOTH)

deuce: ANGRY ABOUT THIS PEOPLE pants: VERY UPSET ALSO deuce: GIMME SOME HEAD spigot: OKAY VERY FUNNY WHO WROTE "SEX BOAT" ON MY CAR

deuce: I WANT A SEX CHANGE pants: WHICH DIRECTION deuce: SURPRISE ME

spigot: HUBAGLUBGABG pants: BHAGHUHUHAG spigot: WAIT WHAT pants: WHAT WHAT spigot: YOU ARE POKING BUT NOT CHOKING pants: THAT IS A BALD-FACED LIE spigot: THAT DOES IT !!! YOU'RE OFF MY SEX CHART pants: HOW DARE YOU SIR spigot: CROSSING YOUR USERNAME OUT FOREVER pants: OH YEAH ??? WELL YOU'RE OFF MY SEX CHART NOW spigot: SOB YOU MONSTER HOW COULD YOU pants: I AM BACKSPACING OVER YOUR HANDLE deuce: IF THE TWO OF YOU DON'T PIPE DOWN YOU'RE BOTH GOING ON MY SEX CHART spigot: (WHISPERING) YOU ARE SO OFF THE CHART pants: (WHISPERING) HUBAGHLAULHUG

deuce: I HAVE A HEADACHE FOR SOME REASON (PLZ FIX THX) pants: IS IT A "TOO MUCH BEATING OFF" HEADACHE OR A "NOT ENOUGH BEATING OFF" HEADACHE pants: THERE IS NO WIGGLE ROOM HERE deuce: I SURE HOPE IT'S THE LATTER deuce: SEX HEADACHES ARE AWFUL

spigot: CAN SOMEONE TAPE SEX AND THE CITY FOR ME AND THEN MAIL ME THE TAPE spigot: ALSO A MARIJUANA JOINT SO I CAN GET THROUGH IT

spigot: NO I WILL NOT "MAKE OUT" WITH YOU

pants: HEY EVERYBODY LOOK WHAT'S IN MY TROUSERS: pants: A TORRENTIAL ATMOSPHERIC RIVER AND FUNNEL DRENCHING RAINS pants: IT'S STUCK YOU JUST HAVE TO TUG IT pants: CONTINUE TO TUG pants: DON'T STOP spigot: I'M ON A CALL

atandt: SEX PIT pants: GET OUT OF HERE

deuce: WILL YOU WATCH MY SEX TAPE pants: I DON’T LIKE WATCHING MYSELF ON CAMERA

deuce: SEX U UP pants: OKAY NOW SEX MEBACK DOWN PLEASE deuce: N pants: I HAVE A FEAR OF HEIGHTS deuce: U WILL STAY THERE UNTIL U LEARN pants: I WILLLEARN NOTHING

pants: HEIL ME LIKE YOU HEIL HITLER pants: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I SAY pants: I GET PAID TO SHOW UP

deuce: THE BIGGEST PERK OF BEING A SERVANT OF THE DEVIL IS YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH GOATS deuce: FREELY

pants: SEX WITH MISTER PEANUT pants: ALSO THE GUY WITH THE MALLET AND THE MOUSE pants: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT pants: 186,000 DICKS PER SECOND deuce: BURP pants: PLEASE MAKE SODOMY LEGAL OR ELSE: SODOMY deuce: SORRY I BURPED

pants: SEXUAL BATTERY: NOT WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS spigot: DO YOU NEED A JUMP

pants: pound me into the sand deuce: touch / dicks pants: the motherfucking fucking boss deuce: sexual congress

pants: WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED spigot: DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T LIKE IT JIGGLES deuce: I LEARNED THAT CALLING ME "JIGGLES" IS NOT DISCRIMINATORY IF DONE IN GOOD FAITH (MY T-SHIRT READS "CALL ME JIGGLES")

dick: SEXUAL MISCONDUCTING YOU deuce: BEING SEXUAL MISCONDUCTED, AYE

deuce: WE'LL TALK ABOUT ALL YOUR PROBLEMS (SEXUAL AND OTHERWISE!!!) TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: OH RIGHT pants: ALL THE SEXUAL PROBLEMS

pants: I LOVE YOU SO VERY, VERY MUCH MMMMM COME TO ME MMMMMMM KISSING THINGS I SHOULD NOT BE KISSING MMMMMMMMMM deuce: DUDE THAT'S A LAMP POST deuce: AND A PARTICULARLY UNATTRACTIVE ONE AT THAT pants: FUCK YEAH MMMMMM YEAH deuce: HAVE YOU NO STANDARDS?!?!?!? JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE REALLY GOING DOWN ON IT pants: BLBLBLBLBBL SEXY LAMPPOST HUGALUGAHALG

spigot: I MUST SAY THE SF BONER EXPO WAS SORT OF A LETDOWN pants: NOT ENOUGH OR TOO MUCH spigot: IT WAS JUST SOME GUY'S APARTMENT

deuce: W HSDF KLSDFKLSDF; deuce: SFSD;F deuce: SDH deuce: KF

deuce: FIRST SHA1SUM COLLISION AND CIVILIZATION COLLAPSES pants: I’M OKAY WITH THAT deuce: IN 3 2 1

atandt: IT'S THE SEVENTIES AND I'M A BLACK COP WITH BRUCE LEE'S SKILLS AND MY OWN ATTITUDE atandt: WITH A FINE BLACK SISTA WHO WANTSA GET BUSY WITH ME :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: atandt: ANY ADVICE ????? pants: ALL YOUR WEBSITES RUINED MY LIFE

deuce: LOVE IS A MANY BONER'D THING pants: BONER'D pants: PERHAPS THAT IS THE FIRST TIME THAT WORD HAS EVER BEEN WRITTEN deuce: (SHAKESPEARE YOU SEE)

deuce: THE TIKI MASK HIDES MY SHAME

effigy: ARE YOU FOR EATING lobster: WHAT lobster: ABSOLUTELY NO lobster: AM I NOT A SENTIENT CREATURE lobster: DO I NOT LOVE AND FEEL PAIN AND LAUGH AT THE SUN AND THE SKY AND THE STARS lobster: DO I NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED AS ONE OF GOD'S LOVED CREATURES lobster: CAN YOU TRULY SUM UP MY EXISTENCE THAT WAY lobster: SHAME ON YOU SIR lobster: SHAME ON YOU effigy: BURP

dick: WHAT DOESN'T KILL ME LEAVES ME SHAMED AND HUMILIATED FROM THE RAPE deuce: THAT'S WHAT I'M A-COUNTIN' ON

spigot: WHERE'S THE SHAMPOO DISPENSSSSSSSSSSSS pants: IT’S STUCK YOU JUST HAVE TO TUG IT pants: HMM MAYBE THE OTHER DIRECTION pants: WAS ANYBODY ON THIS TALKER NOT MOLESTED

pants: I SHAN’T BE JACKED OFF pants: NOT BY THE LIKES OF YOU, SIR deuce: FINALLY, A REPRIEVE

spigot: > spigot: >> spigot: >>> spigot: FOLKS THAT'S MY TIVO

spigot: LOOKS LIKE THIS FACILITY . . . . . . . spigot: . . . . . . . . . spigot: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . spigot: (TAKES OFF GLASSES) spigot: . . . . . . . . . . spigot: . . . . . . . . . . spigot: . . . . IS SHAPED LIKE A DICK

deuce: I CAN'T FEEL BELOW MY KNEES deuce: WHICH IS PROBABLY CONVENIENT AT THIS POINT BECAUSE THERE'S A LARGE SHARK ATTACHED TO THEM

deuce: OKAY SHARON STONE IS NOW HAWKING AOL pants: IF YOU LOGIN I'LL CLOSE MY LEGS !!!!! pants: UNTIL THEN: FLAP FLAP FLAP MY GASH deuce: CAN I OPT OUT OF THIS

deuce: THERE'S SOMETHING SHARP AND POINTY STICKING OUT OF MY ASS deuce: ANYONE HERE WANT TO EXPLAIN THAT deuce: UNNNNNNGH

spigot: BEDKNOBS AND BROOMSTICKS spigot: AND BALLBAGS spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO DO A BM IN MY STILLSUIT spigot: PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE FOREVER CHEMICALS IN MY PENIS AND THE SHARP PLASTIC NANO-FRAGMENTS IN MY WIFE'S PENIS

deuce: WHO WANTS TO SHAVE ME atandt: I WOULD LIKE NOT TO atandt: IN FACT atandt: I WILL PAY deuce: (TURNS TO CAMERA) YOU CAN SEE HOW THIS SCAM REALLY PAYS OFF atandt: WAIT WERE YOU TAPING THAT deuce: NO (FUMBLES WITH DEVICE)

pants: ALL YOU NEED IS POO pants: POO IS ALL YOU NEED deuce: TURN ME ON GAY MAN

spigot: HER NAME IS DR. POLASKI AND SHE WORKS VERY HARD spigot: SHE JUGGLES A STARFLEET CAREER AND MY STARFLEET BALLS spigot: I HAVE TO GO NOW

deuce: WHO WEARS SHORT SHORTS spigot: PERSONALLY AND PROFESSIONALLY I DO NOT DARE deuce: ZARDOZ OUTFIT spigot: SHEETCAKES

deuce: I THINK MY COMPUTER HAS BEEN HACKED BECAUSE I'M VERY SURE I DIDN'T DOWNLOAD THIS SHEMALE PORN deuce: HOWEVER I'LL ADMIT TO THE COMPUTER-GENERATED PORN BUT JUST BECAUSE I WAS THINKING ABOUT CHUN LI deuce: WHO YA TALKIN' TO [EXPURGATED]

deuce: T PANTS WHY DOES YOUR IPAD REFUSE TO PLAY SHEMALE VIDEOS deuce: I MEAN deuce: NEVER MIND pants: T DEUCE NO THEY PLAY FINE

deuce: T PANTS HEY deuce: T PANTS HEY deuce: T PANTS HEY HEY pants: T DEUCE HEY deuce: GUESS WHAT THIS TIME OF THE YEAR MEANS WE CAN LOOK FORWARD TO??? pants: PUMPKIN CHAI LATTES AT STARBUCKS?????? deuce: WWW.SHENYUN.COM spigot: THE TINIEST, QUIETEST GURK ESCAPING MY LIPS spigot: SO THE AUDIENCE KNOWS I DIED OF BOREDOM AT SHEN YUN

deuce: I HAVE TO HIT SHIFT-7 TO GET AN APOSTROPHE

pants: WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU spigot: A GUY ON A TRACK TO MANAGEMENT pants: SHIFT-RELOAD???????????? net: ZAP YOUR PRAM

spigot: MY PIANO TEACHER TOLD ME TO PLAY A B-FLAT BUT INSTEAD I PLAYED A B-FAT THEN I PLONKED OUT SOME B-GAYS spigot: PLONK BLONK DONK BLUH HOO DEE BOO SHINE spigot: THEN I FELL OFF THE CHAIR / BENCH

pants: it's your shinebox mister i don't wanna tell you what to do but i think you should go get it deuce: I don't want to get off on a rant here but GET YOUR FUCKING SHINEBOX pants: won't someone rid me of this turbulent NOT HAVING SHINEBOX Motherfucker

atandt: WAITER OH WAITER pants: YES SIR atandt: I ORDERED STEAK AND EGGS pants: YES SIR atandt: THIS IS POO pants: PLEASE DON'T TELL THE HEALTH INSPECTOR

spigot: ship manifest reveals 200 dongs on board

spigot; SEND ME $200 spigot: PLUS SHIPPING AND FONDLING spigot: PERHAPS GROPING BUT THAT IS AN OPTIONAL EXPENSE

deuce: BUT WE ALL HAVE OUR CROSSES TO BEAR spigot: AND DRESSES TO WEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: I MEAN SHIRTS AND LONG PANTS pants: WAS THAT YOU IN THE TENDERLOIN LAST NIGHT deuce: GET 'IM

pants: ALREADY TOTALLY SICK OF QUEER EYE deuce: WHY DID IT TAKE YOU FIVE WEEKS WHAT TOOK ME 0.2 SECONDS deuce: "SHIT FAGGOTS" (CLICK)

deuce: FLIPS THROUGH PAPERWORK, PAPERS FLY EVERYWHERE, TRIPS ON TANGLED CORDS ON THE FLOOR, SHIT FALLS OUT OF CLOSET

deuce: I AM THE SHIT GOD deuce: I NEED NOT CONCERN MYSELF WITH SUCH TRIVIALITIES (MOSTLY CONCERNED WITH SHIT, ETC.) pants: YOU ARE DOING A FINE JOB pants: STILL I WILL REQUIRE A FULL REFUND deuce: YOU'LL HAVE TO TALK TO THE JUDICIARY BRANCH (I'M EXECUTIVE)

ozone: DOMAIN NIS.JERKCITY.COM NOT BOUND RPC FAILURE - CLNTUDP_CREATE() ozone: SHIT MY GREEN STAYS GREEN ozone: AND MY WHITE STAYS WHITE deuce: STRANGELY ENOUGH MY SHIT IS GREEN ozone: I NEED A REPLACEMENT FOR BLUE deuce: T OZONE SO DO I (AND I THINK YOU KNOW I MEAN HERE)

deuce: BUT I JUST TOOK A SHIT HOW COULD I NEED TO GO AGAIN ?? spigot: ACTUALLY CONCENTRATE ON THE TOILET INSTEAD OF READING OR BEATING OFF???? spigot: SHIT WITH YOUR HEART AND NOT JUST YOUR DUMB ASS deuce: SNIFF deuce: BUT deuce: FURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP UNCONTROLLABLE DIARRHEA spigot: NONE OF THAT EVEN MADE IT IN THE BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: MY KITTY

pants: WHO WANTS PANCAKES ??? deuce: FUCK OFF effigy: HEARD pants: SHIT YEAH LET'S DO BALLS

spigot: I PROPOSED SHIT-SHAPED SHOES, SHOE-SIZED SHITS, SHIT-SIZED SHOES AND FINALLY SHOE-SHAPED SHITS spigot: NONE OF THEM IGNITED THE PUBLIC CONSCIOUSNESS deuce: YOU COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG

spigot: DID I ALREADY DO THE SOB/SNIFF "I NEED A THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR GAS FROM EACH OF YOU" BIT spigot: RE: MONEY FOR THE spigot: SHIT: COPS

deuce: THAT'S SOME SEXY ASS SHIT THERE SON pants: TAKE IT ALL deuce: I GIVE I DON'T TAKE pants: DANCE deuce: FOLKS PLUTO IS A SHITTY LITTLE GREY WORLDLET

deuce: THERE ARE NEARLY AS MANY SHITTY WRITERS FILLING COPY WITH STANDARD TROPES AS THERE ARE SHITTY WRITERS deuce: SPOILERS !!!!! DIARRHEA !!!!!!!!!! PLONK !!!!!!!!!!

spigot: T PANTS GONNA INDULGE THREE OR FOUR MORE BIG FAT SPLUTTERY AND/OR SHOE-SHAPED SHITS, HOW DOES THAT WORK FOR YOU

pants: YOU CAN'T SUCK DICK IN OR AROUND THE STORE deuce: EVIDENTLY pants: GET OUT (SHOOING YOU WITH A BROOM)

pants: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM pants: RELOADING pants: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM

spigot: NOT IN CZ OR KR OR JP OR GLKGRBL spigot: WHY DOES SHOPKOSOVO.COM KEEP GOING DOWN

spigot: DO THESE PASTRIES/SAUSAGES MAKE ME LOOK FAT deuce: WHEN YOU TUCK A THOUSAND OF THEM UNDER YOUR SHIRT/PANTS TO HIDE THEM THEN YES THEY DO

spigot: CAN WE GO SHOPPING FOR PRIDE CANDLES spigot: I'LL GET RED ORANGE YELLOW IF YOU GET GREEN BLUE PURPLE/VIOLET deuce: I NEED TO SAVE SOME MONEY FOR BLACK CANDLES (WITCHCRAFT CEREMONIES)

net: COKE net: BOTTLE net: CANDLE net: CARROT

pants: THE BEES ARE NO LONGER DELIGHTFUL WELCOME GUESTS pants: THEY HAVE GRADUATED TO A PROBLEM pants: HEY EVERYBODY FREE BEES

pants: SHORE LEAVE IS GONNA BE AWESOME pants: I'M GONNA MEET SOME BROADS AT A GIN JOINT deuce: SMEARING pants: BRING THE WAR BACK HOME

spigot: I'M THE **COOL** MATH TEACHER WHO DROPS THE REQUIRED TEXTBOOK IN THE TRASH CAN AND PULLS OUT HIS PENIS INSTEAD deuce: YOUR PENIS HAS MEASURE ZERO spigot: DELETE THIS

deuce: DICKS, ETC. spigot: I WISH WE COULD AT LEAST TALK FIRST

atandt: SPICK DICK: SHORT BUT THICK

deuce: BUH deuce: DEAR DIARY deuce: FOOD TIME

pants: WHAT KIND OF MAN BARFS ON HIS OWN COCK deuce: A REAL PRO

deuce: TAKE IT deuce: IN THE deuce: SOMETHING pants: SOMETHING-SOMETHING

spigot: WHY CAN'T I SEE ALL THE FOOTAGE FROM WHEN I WOKE UP AFTER 24 HOURS OF SLEEP AND STUMBLED AROUND OPENING AND CLOSING COOKIE DRAWERS deuce: I ALSO WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT FOOTAGE spigot: WELL THE FOOTAGE IS POINTLESS IF THERE'S NO THIRD ACT spigot: I.E. ACTUALLY FINDING COOKIES INSTEAD OF SHORTBREAD SHITCAKES deuce: THE THIRD ACT IS YOU FURIOUSLY BEATING OFF WHILE LOOKING WITH DEAD EYES DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA

atandt: HAIL MARY atandt: BLAM atandt: PRAY FOR US SINNER atandt: BLAM atandt: FOR THE LOVE OF G atandt: BLAM atandt: I NEED TO TAKE A P atandt: BLAM deuce: MAN AM I GLAD I'M NOT CATHOLIC

pants: I WAS NOT BEATING OFF TO WRECK-IT RALPH I WAS JUST ADJUSTING MY UNDERGARMENTS IN THE HEAT OF THE DAY deuce: CASE DISMISSED pants: SHOT ON COURTHOUSE STEPS

pants: I SHOULD NEVER HAVE SASSED THAT COCK pants: FL5.00 SUCKEN UND FUCKEN spigot: JA JA DER ONTERNET pants: GOD BLESS AMERICA spigot: HEIL SPIGOT deuce: SHUT UP KRAUT

spigot: WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO IS DIRECT THE COCKS INTO MY MOUTH AND THEREBY ELIMINATE THE MIDDLE MAN (OR MEN, OR GROUP OF BLACK MEN, OR THE INTERNET) deuce: DON'T YOU MEAN "TAKING OUT THE TRASH" AND "CLEANING THE WINDOWS"

spigot: SHOULD I DIP MY DONG IN THE HAGEN DAZS OR THE FRUSEN GLDJE OR THE FAHRVERGNGEN