pants: THAT FAG DOCTOR SPUTNIK spigot: T P ARE YOU STILL COMING OVER FOR KING OF QUEENS spigot: WHY ARE WE ALL TAKING OUR SHIRTS OFF pants: I HATE SOCCER PRACTICE spigot: STAND UP AND SAY IN A LOUD STEADY VOICE: I AM A FUCKING FAGGOT

deuce: KIAL VIRINOJ NENIAM ASKEPTIĜAS FELIĈE KIAM ILIAJ VIAZĴOJ ESTAS KOVRITA KUN ĈURO pants: KAJ INOJ KIUJ ŜAJNIGAS KE ILI ESTAS, NU, ILI JA NE ESTAS pants: SED MI ESTAS deuce: SED MI DONIS AL VI DONACON KIU NENIU ALIA HAVAS ĈI NUN deuce: VIZAĴO PLENE DA ĈURO !!!! deuce: TIEL AŬDACO KE VI RIGARDAS MIN KIEL VI NE POVAS KREDI KE MI ĴUS FARIS TION deuce: NE PROVU BLOKI ĜIN KUN VIAJ MANOJ VI NUR ESTAS FARANTA ĜIN PLI MALFACILA POR VI MEM pants: MI DIRAS KE MI ESTAS FELIĈA MALGRAŬ pants: AĜO RASIO SEKSO DIKECO NE GRAVAS LAŬ MI deuce: FIKE SILENTU ĈI TIE MI ESTAS PROVANTA FARI SOCIAN KOMENTARON

spigot: T PANTS THERE'S A SINGLE WHITE SOCK BEHIND MY DOWNSTAIRS COUCH, WONDERED IF IT'S THE ONE FROM THE PARKING GARAGE pants: T SPIGOT THAT'S WHERE IT WENT [I SERIOUSLY LOST A SOCK AT YOUR HOUSE] [IT IS SAFE TO HANDLE] pants: HANDLE/WRANGLE spigot: STILL BEHIND COUCH

deuce: ROLLED UP SOCKS pants: STUFFED WITH COCKS spigot: HONKING HER BOOBS IN TIME WITH THE CAR ALARM

deuce: ARE YOU A SODA JERK pants: OK deuce: THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER pants: WELL, YOU KNOW

pants: DON'T TOUCH THE SOFT SPOT ON MY HEAD

atandt: COCKS FOR SALE atandt: OK atandt: SOLD OUT NOW

deuce: I LOVE DICK deuce: NOT YOUR DICK JUST DICK IN GENERAL deuce: DICK AS A CONCEPT deuce: AN IDEALIZED ALGHSLGHS

spigot: T E X T O P O L I S spigot: WILL BE THE NAME OF MY BBS / AE LINE deuce: YOUR GOPHER SITE spigot: MY WAFFLE, MY RED RYDER HOST, MY LAMBDA MOO/MUD/MURF/MINECRAFT deuce: MY FATWA spigot: MY LYCOS deuce: ALTA VISTA :SOMBER_SALUTE: spigot: YOU TOOK MY PREPARED ALTAVISTA REFERENCE, SO ALL I HAVE LEFT IS DEJA BLABSPACE deuce: THAT WORKS

spigot: if you're going to suck dick all day don't fill up on bread

pants: some amount of public masturbation is tolerable yes or no deuce: depends on who's doing it pants: me deuce: totes fine then

pants: COCKS deuce: TELL PANTS IF THAT'S SOME ATTEMPT TO WRIGGLE OUT OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES YOU'RE SORELY MISTAKEN

deuce: I BELIEVE I WILL HAVE SOME ENGLISH MUFFINS pants: THESE BALLS ARE THE PRIME SUSPECT IN THE CASE OF THE STUFFED MOUTH pants: PRESS [START] FOR DISGUSTING LICKING, SUCKING NOISES

pants: YOU HAVE SOMEHOW ENSHRINED MY FACE spigot: I NEED A TOWEL spigot: POSSIBLY THE SHROUD OF TURIN pants: STAINED, TORN spigot: MY FACE AND SUBSEQUENTLY MY LEGS

pants: SOME I EAT, SOME I LET GO pants: READY?????????????? GO!!!!!!!!!!! OH YOU FAILED pants: THE TYRANNY OF THE URINAL

deuce: I HAVE NEVER HAD A BAJA BLAST pants: WHAT ABOUT A RODNEY BLAST

pants: spontaneous otoacoustic emissions pants: gahhhhhhhhh mouth open wide tongue waggling

pants: MIGHTY FUCKING FUNNY SIR pants: PLEASE DECLAW ME I AM GOING TO HURT MYSELF AND OTHERS deuce: WHAT pants: YOU HEARD ME

pants: SEGMENTATION FAULT spigot: (BONG NOISES) pants: (BONG NOISES)

pants: YANKING AND PULLING pants: WAITING FOR THE PRIZE pants: WHAT WILL I WIN THIS TIME

atandt: BRACE YOURSELF effigy: OHNO.

uncredited caveman: BGUALGLUAHGLBAGLUHALGBAGUHLBAG pants: KEEP TRYING

deuce: OOM PA OOM PA OOM PA OOM PA deuce: I'M SOME MANNER OF HORNED INSTRUMENT deuce: WANNA FUCK deuce: [NOT CLEAR WHETHER THAT'S A STATEMENT OR A REQUEST]

atandt: IMITATING INSECTS: I'M A BEETLE atandt: OKAY NOW I'M A LADY BUG pants: I AM SOME MANNER OF VERY GAY INSECT

: DEUCE FLUSHES TOILET spigot: MY DREAMS spigot: SPLASH SPLOSH OH GOD SOME OF THESE MIGHT BE SALVAGABLE

spigot: SOMEONE CUT MY FUCKING HEAD OFF SO I CAN GO HOME EARLY

spigot: DRY CLEANER COULDN'T GET AN EGREGIOUS COFFEE STAIN OUT A TOP-TIER SHIRT, GONNA MAKE CARMELLA BUY IT AGAIN spigot: I SAID NO PULP, THIS SAYS SOME PULP spigot: WHEN I GET MY 100TH ROBERT GRAHAM I'M COMMISSIONING A HAM RADIO SHIRT WITH ALL KINDS OF OLD MODEL RADIOS AND FANCY ANTENNA SYSTEMS AND YES: A UTILITY POCKET

spigot: I'M THE UNABOMBER spigot: HIDDLY PIDDLY HOOOBOOO BLUBLUBLUB I'LL BLOW UP MY OWN BALLS spigot: I LIVE IN A CABIN AND RIDE MY BIKE spigot: BUT I'M NOT QUEER - I'M THE UNABOMBER spigot: HURRRRRRRR HOOOOO BOP WOP

uncredited woman: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, CREEP pants: I DON'T WANT TO RAPE YOU, I JUST WANT TO CUT OFF YOUR FUCKING HEAD

pants: THE SKILLS TO PAY THE PILLS BILLS pants: CLAMS AND MUSSELS BEING GAY WITH EACH OTHER pants: GRAVY'S GOOD TONIGHT deuce: ARE YOU TALKING IN SOME SORT OF CODE

spigot: ALL YOUR DICKS ARE BELONG IN MY MOUTH

pants: SOMETIMES I THINK BACK ON MY FARTS

spigot: SOMETIMES I JUST PUSH THE BOTTOM OF MY SHIRT UP THROUGH THE COLLAR LIKE A HEE-HAW GIRLIE TUBE-TOP AND PUMP IT LIKE A DORK spigot: I COULD HAVE STRETCHED THAT COMEDY INTO TWO OR THREE LINES BUT I CHOSE TO SERVE IT UP FRESHLY BAKED spigot: AND YOU'RE WELCOME

spigot: SOMETIMES I FEEL HAPPY spigot: AND SOMETIMES I FEEL SAD spigot: *HURF* spigot: DAD'S BALLS

deuce: I'M CHUCK D AND TOLERATE YOU FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON pants: TOTALLY

deuce: LET'S ALL GET SOMEWHAT GAY HERE

pants: COCKS POUNDING ME pants: WISH I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE pants: SOMEWHERE WARMER pants: THE COCKS CAN COME TOO pants: OR SHIT I DON'T KNOW I CAN VISIT THEM ON WEEKENDS

deuce: SOMEONE ISN'T SUCKING ENOUGH DICK RIGHT NOW deuce: OKAY IT'S ME

pants: I'M TIRED pants: HOW WILL I EVER EAT THIS COCK SANDWICH pants: OOOOH SOMEBODY ROLL ME OVER

deuce: SOMEONE STOLE MY HEAD LAMP pants: THAT IS AWFUL pants: NO MAN SHOULD HAVE TO GO WITHOUT A HEAD LAMP

spigot: MY ASS HURTS!!!!!! pants: OKAY BYE spigot: NO SERIOUSLY MY ASS REALLY HURTS pants: AND??? spigot: CAN YOU STICK YOUR HAND UP THERE AND HELP pants: OH MY GOD spigot: PLEASE???? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS pants: **SIGH** ALL RIGHT spigot: OW spigot: OW OW OW OW OW OKAY OW ENOUGH pants: HOLD STILL pants: DUDE I JUST PULLED OUT A SOLID GOLD WATCH spigot: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!

:look: ANGRY EVERYBODY IS deuce: GLHAGLHAG pants: SOMEONE'S SUCKING deuce: NOT ME GLHABLHBHGABHLLGH PASS THE KETCHUP GLABHGLHBGLHBL

pants: SOMEBODY'S TRIPPING deuce: DRINKING URINE FOR MY OWN GOOD

deuce: HOW COME MY BUSINESS CARDS SAY CHIEF MASTURBATOR pants: EATING MY OWN DICK SOMEHOW

deuce: HERE'S THE PART OF THE EVENING WHERE WE ALL SUCK EACH OTHER'S DICKS deuce: SERIOUSLY deuce: THIS IS A DICK deuce: IT MUST GET SUCKED SOMEHOW deuce: SOMEHOW, SOMEHOW deuce: ANYWAY deuce: UH deuce: WHY DOESN'T BACKSPACE WORK IN THIS XTERM WHEN IT WAS WORKING BEFORE

spigot: CAN SOMEONE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE ABSENCE OF DICK IN MY FACE deuce: T SPIGOT I'M HERE FOR YOU pants: WAIT pants: HOLD ON pants: HOLLOW IT OUT AND HAVE SEX WITH THE HOLE YOU MADE

: DEUCE FAINTS net: SOMEONE GET THE SMELLING COCKS net: OH FORGET IT HE'S FAKING AGAIN deuce: YOU HAVE FOILED MY PERFECT METHOD OF GETTING COCKS ON DEMAND deuce: FOR THAT YOU SHALL BE MADE TO SUFFER

atandt: SOMEONE HAS A SOCKET BUG deuce: NOT ME atandt: NO NOT YOU deuce: UH deuce: JERKING

pants: G IS FOR GIZZ deuce: SOMEONE JERK ME pants: DO YOU MEAN GERK YOU deuce: GHLAGHLAHGLUAG

deuce: someone over there is gay spigot: certainly not me

deuce: OH GOD THEY'RE TURNING THE WHOLE CITY INTO A SUPERDOME spigot: SOMEONE SEND IN ROBOCOP 3

deuce: SOMEONE'S FAT TODAY

deuce: SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING FUNNY deuce: LIKE "BONERS" spigot: I REALLY LIKE TO PLAY WITH MY OWN POO IN THE TUB deuce: THAT'S GROSS NOT FUNNY

pants: SOMETHING ABOUT A CALL GIRL AND ONE COP AND THEN A LOT OF COPS AND HOW I'M HIDING IN YOUR CLOSET spigot: MAKE SURE WHEN MOM OPENS THE CLOSET DOOR YOU REMAIN STILL LIKE E.T.

spigot: THE PIG SAYS MOO spigot: NO WAIT spigot: THE PIG SAYS SOMETHING ELSE

deuce: HI pants: I LIKE TO TAKE ACID AND FUCK deuce: WHAT ARE YOU WEARING pants: I LIKE TO TAKE ACID AND FUCK deuce: SOMETHING FRILLY I HOPE pants: I LIKE TO TAKE ACID AND FUCK

pants: GOT STUCK IN A HOLE pants: SOMETHING HAPPENED, I FELL DOWN OR SOMETHING pants: DIZZY

spigot: .EX spigot: .345TEX spigot: E-BAY pants: GO EBAY deuce: I CAN'T SAVE THIS TEXT FILE I JUST WROTE spigot: GO E-BAY spigot: URLS

pants: I SENSE A DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE deuce: SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT pants: IS THIS REAL OR SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL DREAM deuce: I SHOULDN'T BE THIS DIZZY pants: WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME deuce: IS THIS THE END OF PANTS AND DEUCE

pants: FLY LIKE A BUTTERFLY pants: SUCK A DICK NOW pants: SOMETHING LIKE THAT deuce: I DON'T FOLLOW

deuce: could you assist me in my beatoff explorations pants: are you seeking a quiet shady place or perhaps sir would like something noisy and brash

deuce: THERE SEEMS TO BE SOMETHING OBSTRUCTING MY BREATHING PASSAGE deuce: HHHHHHH HHHHHHHH deuce: SSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSS deuce: PASSING OUT deuce: DIZZY deuce: CANT deuce: BREATHE pants: JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

spigot: T PANTS CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING SERIOUS pants: T SPIGOT IS THIS ABOUT THE GODDAMN COOKIE DRAWER spigot: NO

spigot: DID WE BOTH AGREE TO SOMETHING STUPID AGAIN pants: OH MY YES

spigot: A GAY MAN IN MY UNDERPANTS!?!?!?!? ME?!?!?!?!!!

ozone: CUT DOWN A RACK OF BANANAS YESTERDAY. SOMETIME IN THE NIGHT, A RAT ATE PART OF ONE

net: SOMETIMES WHEN I POO IT FEELS LIKE THE ASSRAPING OF MY LIFE AND THEN OTHER TIMES I DON'T ENJOY IT AT ALL

spigot: /TIRED_OLD_CONCEPT.JPG spigot: /YAWNING.GIF

uncredited woman: PUT THOSE PANTIES BACK ON THE LINE AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY YARD pants: I'LL CUT YOU

pants: SMALL DICKS ARE SMALL deuce: GO ON pants: I AM NO MORE USEFUL OR USELESS THAN THE AVERAGE NEXTDOOR READER deuce: WELL YOURSTATEMENTS AREAT LEASTACCURATE pants: I STRIVE FOR ACCURACY WHEN IT COMES TO SIZES OF THINGS pants: FOR EXAMPLE: MY COCK IS SOMEWHAT LARGE AND SO IS THE MOON BUT NOT THE STARS (THEY ARE JUST DOTS) deuce: SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT MOUNTAINS ARE SMALL pants: SOME ARE BUT THEY GROW AS YOU GET CLOSER deuce: OKAY WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A FOLLOWUP CONVERSATION ABOUT THIS BECAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING YOU'RE MISSING BUT IT WILL TAKE A LONG TIME TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU SO WE'LL SAVE IT FOR ANOTHER TIME pants: THAT SOUNDS LOVELY

spigot: IS THERE ANYTHING IN YOUR POCKETS THAT MIGHT PRICK ME OR POKE ME spigot: MAYBE I COULD FINISH MY GOON SESH IF YOU RETURNED MY POPPERS spigot: WRONG WIN spigot: (SOMEWHAT) SAD NEWS: WELLS FARGO UPDATED THEIR TERMS AND CONDITIONS AND I NO LONGER QUALIFY FOR ANAL SEX WORKSHOPS ON LINKEDIN LEARNING

spigot: SOMEWHAT SERIOUS SUGGESTION THAT WE GET INTO THE CRYPTO-ART RACKET pants: HLAHGULAHLGHAG pants: SORRY pants: YOU WERE SAYING

pants: maybe I just really like clamping things pants: dicks, tits, balls, doesn't matter to me, it's all going to get clamped somewhere along the line deuce: einer clampen

pants: I'M DOCTOR PRICK pants: RX pants: CALL ME DOC DONG

pants: JERKCITY: A SPACE ROCK OPERA

pants: PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP I'M A SONGBIRD deuce: HELLO, SONGBIRD deuce: WANNA FUCK

pants: DICKS deuce: NO WORRIES deuce: ALL OF THIS WILL BE READ OUT LOUD IN COURT SOON ENOUGH

pants: CRONCH CRONCH CRONCH I ONLY EAT TOP SHELF INSECTS deuce: THAT SHOWS YOU'RE SOPHISTICATED

spigot: REPEAT: NOT JOKING ABOUT HOW MY LIFE IS IN THE TOILET spigot: HURRRRRRR HUH WAKING UP AT 3AM WONDERING spigot: BLUHHHHHHHHHHHHH BEATING OFF AND GOING BACK TO BED spigot: WAKING UP AND BEATING OFF BECAUSE I FORGOT I ALREADY DID THAT spigot: URF OOF SORE PRICK MUST KEEP BEATING AND PULLING

pants: LOVE ME, LOVE MY BONER pants: DON'T WORRY HE WON'T BITE pants: SORRY HE'S NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE

spigot: SHOULD WE APOLOGIZE FOR ALL OUR ANTI-ASIAN BQ STRIPS AND RETIRE JEAN-CHARLES

pants: JUST CRAPPED OUT A PERFECT ROUND RIPE TOMATO pants: JUST POPPED IT RIGHT OUT ONTO THE FLOOR FOR ALL THE WORLD TO NOPE NEVERMIND THAT'S CRAP pants: SORRY FOR THE SPAM

spigot: I HAVE DISCOVERED IF I LISTEN TO THE SAME BANANARAMA SONG TWO HUNDRED TIMES IN A ROW, I GET SICK OF IT spigot: THEN I PUT THE CD AWAY FOR TWO WEEKS AND COME BACK TO IT AND IT'S BRAND NEW AGAIN spigot: SORRY FOR THE WIDE DISTRIBUTION

spigot: WHERE ARE MY BALLS spigot: I HAD TWO BALLS IN MY TROUSERS AND NOW THEY spigot: SEEM TO HAVE "MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED". WOULD spigot: WHOEVER TOOK THEM *PLEASE* RETURN THEM AS THEY spigot: ARE NEEDED FOR TESTING. CC:ALL

pants: lick dick in outer space pants: actually you wouldn't enjoy that very much pants: already sorry i mentioned it

deuce: did you fuck them pants: i thought about it pants: is piss supposed to be the consistency of ketchup pants: sorry no this is a ketchup bottle pants: how did you get down there little fella pants: welp better get to tugging

deuce: THE DRUNK GUY WITH THE FAKE BEARD WHOSE LAP YOU SIT ON DOESN'T ACTUALLY BRING YOU SHIT ON CHRISTMAS deuce: I'M SORRY TO BE THE ONE TO HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS pants: I KNEW THE WHOLE TIME, I JUST WANTED SOME LAP

spigot: UNSUBSCRIBE pants: WE'RE SORRY TO SEE YOU GO

spigot: SORRY WHAT spigot: DO I "STAN"YOUR PENIS spigot: I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT spigot: SAY AGAIN spigot: OH I'M *** STANDING ***ON YOUR PENIS spigot: SORRY TO HEAR IT spigot: I HAVE TO STANDSOMEWHERE

spigot: ARE YOU BEATING OFF ON MY FACE AFTER WORK spigot: SORRY WRONG WINDOW spigot: ARE YOU BEATING OFF ON MY FACE AFTER WORK

pants: ARE YOU A BONER GOD deuce: SORT OF A DEMIGOD deuce: MORE DIVINE THAN A PERSON BUT NOT A FULL DEITY pants: WHATEVER

pants: I'M SORT OF SPURTING HERE TOO IF YOU CARE pants: IF YOU FUCKING CARE AT ALL ABOUT ME HERE pants: HERE SPURTING pants: OKAY DONE SPURTING THE PLACE UP HERE pants: HI

pants: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN COMPUTER

spigot: LET'S ALL PUT OUR BALLS TOGETHER FOR SPIGOT deuce: HONK BONK HONK BONK spigot: SLAP BONK DUH BOOT deuce: (SOUND OF BALLS)

spigot: let us know about the dongs in your mouth spigot: sound off in the comments

deuce: why do I taste sour apples deuce: why do I smell ozone deuce: hurk 10 Sv absorbed dose deuce: roentgens or milliroentgens??? hurk

pants: T SPIGOT CRICKETS ARE A SOURCE OF PROTEIN spigot: PEEP CHEEP PEEP CHEEP PEEP CHEEP PEEP CHEEP pants: ARE YOU AN EASTER PEEP OR A GAY CRICKET spigot: FACE STUFFING spigot: SOMETIMES I EAT CANDY FROM OFF THE GROUND

spigot: INTRODUCING THE BONEQUEST SOURDOUGH STARTER: PARKING-LOT-SOCK.JPG

spigot: BATTERIES A SOMETIMES FOOD deuce: I DO DECLARE pants: MY WORD deuce: MY STARS!!! (SOUTHERN BELLE ACCENT)