pants: I SHIT THINGS net: OH MY GOD IT'S TRUE deuce: I AM WATCHING

deuce: ANOTHER BIG FAT RAPPER WEARING REALLY BRIGHT CLOTHES TO EMPHASIZE HOW FUCKING FAT HE REALLY IS spigot: ALL I HAVE IN THIS WORLD IS MY BALLS AND MY WORD deuce: I'LL THROW MY BALLS INTO THE MIX ALSO spigot: AND THIS GUN AND THEREFORE YOUR ATM CARD SIR (POINTING)

deuce: MY CAT IS CURRENTLY DRINKING WATER HOW COPY deuce: HE GOT SPOOKED AND LEFT,HOW DO YOU READ effigy: 5 BY 5 KNIGHT RIDER ONE deuce: WILL KEEP YOU UP TODATE KNIGHT RIDER ACTUAL effigy: NOT NECESSARYCOMMANDER,ENJOY YOURSELFOUT THERE.

pants: HEY I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D WATER ME SOMETIMES pants: ALSO WOULD IT KILL YOU TO PUT ME IN A SPACE WHERE I'LL GET SOME SUNLIGHT pants: AND ANOTHER THING [CONTINUES TO COMPLAIN] deuce: YES IT WOULD

spigot: T PANTS YOUR FROG IS SITTING ON ME AND WON'T GET UP AND KEEPS GOING TO THE BATHROOM pants: WATER ONCE pants: BUT pants: NEVER AGAIN

spigot: HERE COMES JIZZY MCPISSFACE WITH HIS BEACH TOYS spigot: HEY GANG JIZZY MCPISSFACE HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT WATER SAFETY spigot: SUPPOSE SOMEONE DUMPS A BUCKET OF SAND UPSIDEDOWN ON YOUR HEAD WITH ONLY A SMALL HOLE WHERE YOUR MOUTH SHOULD GO spigot: THEN A HUGE BLACK DICK CHOKES YOU UP GOOD AND BLUE spigot: PUCKER UP BUTTERCUP spigot: I'M GOING TO CARVE UP YOUR HONKY ASS spigot: THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY

pants: MOVE ALONG NOW pants: THESE TWINKIES ARE SAFE WITH ME deuce: T PANTS PLEASE TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM AND WATER THEM NIGHTLY

deuce: I'M ON A COLONIZATION SHIP THAT'S JUST ABOUT TO COLONIZE A WATER WORLD WITH VERY MEAN OCTOPUS-LIKE ALIENS THAT DON'T HAVE TECHNOLOGY BUT HAVE THE ABILITY TO KILL THEIR PREY VIA SOUND BLASTS AND THAT UPSETS ME A GREAT DEAL spigot: TRY REBOOTING WITHOUT EXTENSIONS

pants: PERSONAL DOWNTIME spigot: HOW / MANY / DICKS pants: A GALLON I RECKON deuce: AIM IT THATAWAY spigot: SOMETHING SOMETHING / MUST I LICK pants: CHASING WATERFOWL THROUGH THE PARK pants: HONNNNNK deuce: DON'T GO CHASING WATERFOWL

ozone: ~ deuce: I AGREE ozone: YEAH I USED TO THINK [ WAS THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE ozone: BUT NOW I REALIZE IT'S ~

spigot: I'M GOING TO SIT ON THE CURB AND LOOK AT MY SHOES UNTIL THE SUN GOES DOWN spigot: IT'S HARD TO SUCK DICK WHEN THE PIANO VERSION OF "LINUS & LUCY" IS GETTING PIPED IN THROUGH THE SPEAKERS spigot: WAW WAH WAW WAHHHHHH WAH WAW WAW WAWWWW WWWW WWWWW WWWW WWWWWW WWWWW

deuce: IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT IT'S ALREADY 1997 deuce: TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

pants: LICK A FATTY FOR ME spigot: WAY AHEAD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (UNDERNEATH YOU)

spigot: YOU'RE WAY OVERDUE FOR A SPURT

net: YOU'RE WAY OVERDUE FOR A SPURT deuce: GLHGAHLGAHLAGHLGAHLGA net: THEY ARE COVERED WITH IT deuce: ALL OVER YOU LIKE [REDACTED] ON [REDACTED] net: ALSO MADE OF SOME MANNER OF GROSS/GAY ALLOY deuce: GHGAHLGAHLGA

pants: WAY WAY WAY WAY PAST BI-CURIOUS AND RIGHT ON DOWN THE ROAD TO HANGING AROUND THE OLD BARN

spigot: C TO THE O TO THE OTHER C TO THE K TO THE S TO MY FACE pants: WAY TO SUCK IT spigot: LAUGH YOU DONGS

spigot: COME ON EVERYONE I JUST SAW A UFO IN THE TOILET spigot: THIS WAY FOLLOW ME COME ON spigot: RIGHT IN HERE IF YOU COULD PLEASE JUST LOOK spigot: BACK IN THERE spigot: WAY WAY BACK IN THE LAST ONE spigot: OKAY I'LL LOCK THE DOOR SO IT CAN'T FLY AWAY spigot: AND I'LL TURN OUT THE LIGHT SO WE CAN SEE IT FLASHING spigot: AND I'LL START GROPING AROUND IN YOUR PANTS spigot: WHOOPS *OW* OW OW spigot: OKAY WE CAN DO THIS LATER spigot: PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE

pants: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW, WE'VE GOT DEUCE WITH US deuce: PERFECT SINE WAVE TONE

pants: WHY MUST WE ALWAYS pants: WITH THE pants: AND SO IT GOES

pants: I SUCK COCK UNDER BRIDGES: PASS IT ON

spigot: BBLBBLBBLBBL IT IS SERIOUSLY PROMOTING AN OPEN SMOKING ENVIRONMENT spigot: WE ARE ALL DIZZY AND PASSED OUT ON/AROUND THE COUCH spigot: MY FACE IS SMOOSHED INTO THE JERKCITY

spigot: COMPILING: GAY.C spigot: HERE I HAVE AN ORDINARY EVERYDAY WANG spigot: NOW I'LL COVER IT WITH THIS SILK HANDKERCHIEF spigot: HOLY spigot: WHAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM GAY

pants: ARE WE BECOME ANAL deuce: I AM BECOME ANAL, DESTROYER OF WORLDS

deuce: someone pulled out all the stops pants: did stops get pulled out pants: that is horrible pants: maybe we put the stops back in??????? what if they were holding something back deuce: we are typing things

pants: GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY pants: AHHHH ANOTHER WONDERFUL MONDAY IN JERKCITY spigot: WE ASK THAT YOU PLEASE LEAVE pants: I AM SO SORRY

pants: YUMMY YUMMY HAKGHAO87TI P-HJNPK;,,,,,, deuce: DON'T EAT THAT deuce: AN ELECTRICAL DISCHARGE, A FAINT WHIFF OF OZONE, AND PANTS IS DEAD deuce: WE WILL REBUILD HIM, WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY deuce: HERE ARE FIVE DICKS AND A PACEMAKER LET'S GO PEOPLE GO GO GO deuce: WEHIFHKHKL SHILBBHLHLBGH (THE SOUND OF WORK BEING DONE) deuce: HIS HEART IS BEATING AGAIN deuce: STRANGELY ENOUGH WE HAVE NOT STAVED OFF HIS CRAVING FOR DICKS deuce: THIS IS EXPERIMENT IS A FAILURE pants: FEED ME HOT DOGS

deuce: LET'S LICK DICK deuce: QUIETLY deuce: WE DO NOT WANT TO AWAKEN THE SPIRITS

spigot: WE DON'T TALK LIKE THAT IN THIS HOUSE

: A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR BIONIC WEDNESDAY

pants: ARE YOU A MONSTER deuce: I'M MORE OF A STANDARD FLAWED HUMAN BEING deuce: WHO MURDERS BABIES deuce: I THINK THEY DESERVE IT BUT WHENEVER I TRY TO EXPLAIN MY REASONING IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE A QUIET SCREAM SO, Y'KNOW, JUST THE USUAL FLAWED HUMAN BEING pants: WE HAVE LOST OBJECTIVE APPLES

pants: INJECTING HORSEY SAUCE INTO MY DICK

atandt: mmmmmm cocks atandt: i said cocks spigot we heard you

deuce: so we all win then pants: well somebody has to lose pants: and choke pants: on what we in the industry refer to as "my load"

pants: MY WANG IS TRAPPED IN THIS BELL JAR deuce: AND MY SOUNDING TUBE IS STUCK IN YOUR WANG pants: WE MUST OPERATE deuce: GHLAGUHLAHGLUAG

spigot: We really want to do something so we aren't just the girls who Louis C.K. masturbated in front of

deuce: WHERE'S MY PISS JUGS pants: USE A THERMOS deuce: I'LL USE YOUR LEFT CHEEK, RIGHT CHEEK spigot: WE SHALL FIGHT ON THE BEACHES, WE SHALL FIGHT IN THE STALLS

deuce: SHUT UP PEOPLE atandt: I THINK WE SHOULD ALL TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GO SIT OUTSIDE ON THE LAWN atandt: I'LL BRING THE CHEESE

spigot: FUCK, I JUST HAD THIS FREAK ACCIDENT WHERE I SAT DOWN TO WORK AND I SPILLED DOPE INTO THE BONG AND THE LIGHTER FLICKED OUT AND SET IT ON FIRE AND THE WHEELS OF MY CHAIR SLIPPED BACK AND I INHALED THE DOPE SMOKE AND ATE A MUFFIN pants: WE SHOULD OPERATE IMMEDIATELY

pants: BONJOUR DICKS deuce: PENFOLD SHUSH

pants: WE THE PEOPLE pants: HULAGBLAUBALGHBLAG pants: HULK STRAIGHT pants: OKAY WHERE WAS I pants: RIGHT HERE WE GO pants: WELCOME TO JERKCITY pants: I'LL BE YOUR TOUR GUIDE pants: EVERYBODY FOLLOW ME (I HOPE YOU BROUGHT YOUR OWN DRINKING WATER)

pants: SHE WAS SO UGLY spigot: WE THREE KINGS OF ORIENT ARE pants: T PANTS HOW UGLY spigot: SOMETHING SOMETHING GAYS AND THEIR PRICKS pants: SHE WAS SO UGLY I HAD TO CLEAR MY BROWSER CACHE

pants: ARE YOU THE CHOSEN ONE deuce: I BELIEVE SO pants: I THINK WE'D BETTER GET STARTED THEN deuce: VERY WELL

spigot: HOW THE DICKS/BALLS GOT INTO MY FACE, WELL I GUESS WE'LL NEVER REALLY KNOW FOR SURE spigot: [CURTAIN] spigot: BHLABHLAHBLAURHLBUAHRL pants: THE BEST SCHOOL PLAY EVER

spigot: DICKLICKERS AHOY spigot: WE'RE ALL A FUCKING FAMILY HERE TODAY PEOPLE spigot: GAY STUDENT CLINGS TO LIFE, DONGS

spigot: (RUBS HANDS) BOY DO I HAVE BIG PLANS TO GET OUR PORN COMPANY BACK ON TOP THIS 2017 spigot: TOLD ALL OUR VENDORS WE NEED CLOTHES ON THE WOMEN AND NUDE MEN, THAT'S A DONE DEAL spigot: WE GOT CUCKS, WE'RE BUSTING BALLS, WE'RE FEMMING DOMS deuce: WE'LL MAKE MILLION$

deuce: I'M LOOKING FOR SOME KIND OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF MY DIRTY BALLS pants: COCKS? deuce: I BELIEVE SO pants: WE'RE GOING TO GET ALONG JUST FINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN deuce: EXCELLENT

deuce: WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO BEAT THAT BEAR OFF pants: BUT HOW deuce: BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY IS MY MOTTO deuce: WHO AM I KIDDING MY ONLY MOTTO IS "WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO BEAT THAT BEAR OFF"

pants: T DEUCE WE'RE GOING TO SEARS deuce: T PANTS DO WE HAVE TO pants: T DEUCE WELL I HAVE MY HELMET AND A BONER pants: T DEUCE WELL NEVER MIND NOW I LOST THE ERECTION deuce: T PANTS UNDERSTOOD

pants: ORGY-PORGY GIVES RELEASE

spigot: WE'RE GONNA NEED MY DONG IN THE STORM DRAIN

spigot: WE'RE HERE spigot: WE'RE QUEER spigot: DID WE MENTION / THAT WE'RE QUEER spigot: AS IN STEERS BEERS AND QUEERS spigot: THERE'S ALSO A SEARS spigot: SO GLAD STEVE IRWIN IS DEAD

spigot: NOW I'LL BE THE GAY JESUS AND NAIL MYSELF TO THIS COCK WITH MY MOUTH deuce: UNGH pants: SUCK IT pants: SERIOUSLY

deuce: OKAY PEOPLE THE OPERATOR <<(CHAR *) FUNCTIONS ARE CRASHING IN VISUAL C++ deuce: I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG SO I'M GOING TO SUCK THIS DICK HERE spigot: HUGLUBGHLUH UNSIGNED HUGLURHLBUH

pants: GAYER THAN THOU deuce: NO

pants: GOT SOME GAYNESS HERE pants: LOOK LOOK LOOK pants: YOU'RE NOT LOOKING

spigot: I CAN'T SEE ZONES IN THE CHOOSER WHEN I TRY TO GO TO JERKCITY deuce: PUT PLUNGERS IN THE TOILETS ETC

deuce: please approve my pull request to lick dick pants: lgtm pants: +1

spigot: STOP CALLING MY PENIS A ZOMBIE FORECLOSURE

deuce: I AM THE WEAKEST LINK

spigot: marriage is between a dong and a bong pants: and then getting your dong stuck in the bong, wearing a mumu to work, hoping nobody notices the bong dragging around

atandt: SEVERE WEATHER ADVISORY atandt: MY FACE atandt: YOUR NUTS atandt: UHGUGHUGHUGHGUHG atandt: TOMORROW: PARTLY CLOUDY atandt: YOUR NUTS AGAIN spigot: SCATTERED SHOWERS

pants: BE SURE TO USE YOUR WIPERS BECAUSE IT'S SNOWING COOKIES

pants: WHAT WILL THE WEATHER BE LIKE duece: GAY WITH A CHANCE OF MORE GAY IN THE MORNING

deuce: IT'S NICE AND COOL TODAY PEOPLE GAY deuce: OVERCAST AND MODERATELY GAY deuce: CHANCES OF LIGHT JIZZING TOWARD THE EVENING deuce: OKAY HEAVY JIZZING I ADMIT spigot: I DON'T LIKE THIS WEATHER SUPERCENTER

spigot: hey google: web comics spigot: did you mean stick figures with down syndrome

spigot: NOMINATED FOR A 1998 WEBBY AWARD!!!!!!#($@)(#%GBLHRLUBHRBU) deuce: SUICIDE IS THE ONLY WAY OUT NOW spigot: I AM GOING TO WITHDRAW MY LAST FEW DOLLARS AND BUY A GUN AND TOUR THE STALLS OF AMERICA deuce: GOING OUT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY (PISS, TOILETS)

pants: WHAT THE FUCK YOU TOTAL BITCH I JUST WANT A LIGHT atandt: CALM DOWN THAT WAS YESTERDAY pants: OH atandt: WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT ANYWAY pants: SOMETHING ABOUT A PIGGYBACK RIDE OR WAS I DRINKING atandt: YOU DON'T EVEN SMOKE

pants: WEEBLES WOBBLE BUT THEY DON'T SUCK DICK

spigot: I WILL SEE YOUR HONK AND RAISE YOU A BONK AND SOMETHING INVOLVING A DONK??? A CHONK??? WHATEVER IS MORE RACIST pants: I FOLD

atandt: WHY DID THEY GET US UP SO EARLY pants: SOMETHING ABOUT CONSTANTINOPLE spigot: DO WHAT YOU LIKE BUT LEAVE STARBUCKS OUT OF THIS pants: BEATING OFF AND STABBING YOU UP WITH A BOXCUTTER AT THE SAME TIME HUFF HURF HUFF EACH UPSTROKE IS A SLASH FOR YOU atandt: SKIP INTRO

deuce: HOW DO ALL OF THESE SPAMMERS KNOW THAT I HAVE A WEIGHT PROBLEM AND DESPERATELY WANT TO SHED THOSE POUNDS pants: AMAZING THAT

pants: AG-GAG LAWS deuce: AMBERLAMPS pants: what about the ghlaghluahgluhalug laws pants: EDELWEISS pants: weird dumb dicks that don't belong here deuce: sorghum pants: paper mills deuce: bauxite pants: groatcakes deuce: the queer quarry pants: top of the hill, daly city pants: sci-fi fantasy deuce: speculative fiction not science fiction!!!!! hluhlbulhbuhlbuhlb pants: gnu/linux deuce: GNU/HURP pants: hardon

deuce: THE BEST PART ABOUT PORN IS THE MUTE BUTTON deuce: IN THAT IT "MUTES" THE ACTION deuce: SO YOU CANNOT HEAR PEOPLE TALKING, MOANING, MAKING WEIRD GURGLING SOUNDS THAT MAKES YOUR BONER INSTANTLY DISAPPEAR, ETC.

spigot: BA GURRRRRRRRK deuce: WELCOME BACK, WEIRD GIRAFFE THINGY

pants: SOMEWHERE BETWEEN "NICELY TOASTED" AND "FIGHTING WITH COPS" pants: OH HI I'M PANTS pants: AND YOU'RE READING JERKCITY

pants: WHAT'S THAT IN MY LOWER INTESTINE pants: OH IT'S YOU pants: WELCOME HOME

deuce: I JACK OFF COPS

atandt > this is bonequest atandt > a land full of enchantment and wonder atandt > but also a land full of danger and intrigue atandt > come with me now atandt > explore these vast untamed lands with me atandt > who knows what adventures we'll have atandt > follow me and we'll see where the path-- pants > surprise !!! cocksucking halghagulahgluahulag

pants: WELCOME TO JERKCITY pants: NEARBY ATTRACTIONS INCLUDE A DIRT LOT AND A STARBUCKS pants: NO HISTORIC STEAM TRAINS RUN ANYWHERE NEAR HERE pants: WATERSLIDE BROKEN pants: NO GHOSTS EITHER pants: YOUR PERSONAL GUESTROOM COMES WITH A CHAMBERPOT pants: MUSIC AND NEWS OVER AM, FM BANDS (REQUIRES RECEIVER) pants: FREE PARKING pants: PARK IT AND LOCK IT -- NOT RESPONSIBLE pants: NO FISHING pants: CHIEF EXPORTS INCLUDE HEALTH-CARE PROFESSIONALS AND CLEAN TOWELS pants: SHOWTIME pants: NO TRIPLE-A DISCOUNT pants: PENSIONERS MUST SHOW ID pants: BATHROOMS CAMERA-FREE SINCE 2001 pants: NO CLEAN TOWELS TODAY pants: MASTURBATION WILL SET YOU FREE pants: ACTUAL CASH VALUE LESS DEDUCTIBLE pants: GOD BLESS THIS MESS (pants): "FAGGOT" pants: NO PAYMENT IS REQUIRED pants: THIS IS NOT A BILL pants: WISH YOU WERE HERE -- LOVE PANTS

: WELCOME TO JERKCITY uncredited stoner: HUGAHLHULGAHULAHGULAHUGLG : GLOBE!

pants: WELCOME TO MONDAY pants: SO FAR I'M NOT SURE I CARE FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: PROGRESS: COLD, STUPID spigot: PASSWORD STRENGTH: FARTS

deuce: WHO WANTS CAKES spigot: WELC0ME T0 MY W0RLD

pants: [UNINTELLIGIBLE WINGDINGS] deuce: IS THIS THE SECRET CODE WE AGREED ON FOR ASSFUCKING FOLLOWED BY MURDER-SUICIDE PACT OR DO YOU MEAN JUST THE NORMAL TRICKING AND TREATING

spigot: PISS BURGER GETTING TERRIBLE REVIEWS spigot: THE BUNS ARE WET

pants: OW OW OW spigot: WELL LADY WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD deuce: THAT LOOKS REALLY PAINFUL !!!! deuce: GLAD I AM SITTING IN THIS CHAIR NOT EXERTING ANY ENERGY pants: THIS IS WHERE I COME IN deuce: I'M CONVERTING FOOD CALORIES INTO ANGER

: LEFT: SPIGOT THE BEAR : RIGHT: DEUCE FROM JERKCITY (DO NOT FEED) deuce: I LOVE HARD COCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bung: DO YOU THINK GOD HAS A BIG DONG deuce: WELL DUH

spigot: JUST TIRED OF WEBCOMICS THAT AREN'T US pants: WELL HERE'S WHAT I THINK: [LASER BEAM CHOPPING OFF HEADS]

deuce: WELL I PIERCED MY DICK BUT THAT DID NOT REPEAT NOT MAKE ME COOL deuce: NOW MY PISS SPRAYS EVERYWHERE

spigot: T NET LET'S SUCK DICK AND NEVER FIGHT AGAIN net: WELL OK IF YOU SHURRRRRRRRRR

ozone: ALSO YOU MY BITCH deuce: WELL OKAY CLIMB ON THEN

spigot: AND NOW JUST ONE QUICK LOL BEFORE LICKING SOME DICKS spigot: _LOL_ spigot: GLKGLKGLKGLK deuce: WELL PLAYED

pants: IS MY FLESH HARAM deuce: ONLY IF YOU'RE NOT SLAUGHTERED PROPERLY pants: WELL THEN

spigot: WILL MY PENIS REPLACE PROGRAMMERS deuce: SURE WISH I COULD SEE PICTURES OF HUNTER BIDEN'S SCHLONG pants: WELL YOU CAN'T

deuce: FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU pants: A WELL ROUNDED FUCK net: WHICH ONE ozone: HE SAID "AND" deuce: WANGS pants: WHO KNOWS HOW TO OPERATE THIS THING pants: NO ORDINARY BALLS

pants: TOP 10 WEIRD USENET THINGS I GOOGLED YESTERDAY WELP BETTER EAT A BURRITO

pants: MY BUCKET LIST pants: IN THAT I SHIT IN BUCKETS YES pants: T DEUCE DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THE PET SHOP BOYS SONG "WEST END GIRLS" deuce: NOPE pants: BECAUSE I DO (ALL THE TIME) pants: "WEST END GIRLS" IS RAP pants: ANYWAY I'M A SEX OFFENDER

deuce: NOW MY CARPET IS WET pants: same