pants: EXCUSE ME SIR pants: WHICH WAY IS THE MEN'S ROOM pants: THANKS MISTER (WHISTLES) pants: THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT pants: AVERAGE WAIT TIME 175 MINUTES???? AWWW pants: I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THE MONORAIL pants: OR STOOD IN A FANTASTICAL QUEUE pants: EITHER WAY I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE GIFT SHOP

pants: I AM HITTING YOU OVER THE HEAD AND TAKING YOUR LOAF, YOUR JUG OF WINE deuce: WHAT ABOUT THOU : THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS ..... BE GOOD TO OTHER PEOPLE !!!!!! *THANX* : preme sentema

pants: T DEUCE ARE YOU READY FOR WHITE BOY SUMMER deuce: PROB NOT

deuce: WHITE CHICKS VS. BLACK DICKS POV deuce: SO ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH, DEAR FRIENDS

deuce: T PANTS YOU'RE RIGHT IT WAS CALLED WHITE HOUSE DOWN I AM SO SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU WHILE YOU WERE COOKING ME FOOD

spigot: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS pants: IT'S TOTALLY BEEN LIKE THIS SINCE YESTERDAY pants: IT'S FREAKY THERE'S NOWHERE TO LEAN OR PISS spigot: DO I HAVE TO WORK pants: LET'S SEE WHAT'S ON OZONE'S TIVO BIP BOOP BOOP BOOP

pants: GAY MARRIAGE IN YOUR LIVING ROOMS !!! RUBBING INTO YOUR FACE INTO IT !!!! HOOO BOY WE'VE GOT BIG-- HEY WHERE DID THE WORLD GO pants: HOLY CRAP hanford: WOW hanford: I'LL GO KICK THE BOX YOU STAY HERE AND THAT GODDAMN BONG STAYS IN YOUR LOCKER UNTIL WE'RE DONE pants: OH SHIT DUDE CHECK IT OUT THEY CAN READ THIS

pants: OH MY GOD MY DICK IS FULL OF PAINT pants: WHITE PAINT pants: PLEASE REPLACE THE HANDSET pants: WHERE ARE ALL THE BODIES pants: LET ME TELL YOU THE THING HATES DRINKING BONGWATER pants: IT GETS ANGRY AND SPITS AND SWEARS pants: UPSKIRT?????????? pants: FIGHT HARDER MEN

spigot: TUGGING YOUR SLEEVE AND BEGGING AND PLEADING WITH YOU NOT TO BELIEVE THE HYPE ABOUT CLOUD COMPUTING AND ARGUING WITH YOU TO CLAIM YOUR FREE WHITEPAPER DOWNLOAD NOW deuce: FREE ?!??!?!?!?!?!?1 SCRAMBLING OVER SELF, DROPPING PHONE, KNOCKING OVER BOOKSHELF, TRIGGERING WORLD WAR III

effigy: IS SHE BIG? deuce: WHAT YOU MEAN FAT effigy: NO, I MEAN, CAN SHE KICK MY ASS...? deuce: NO I DON'T THINK SO effigy: OK. TELL HER THAT I NEED A BLOWJOB. deuce: AT LEAST NOT WITHOUT SOME SERIOUS PCP

spigot: --L======L'< CHOMP CHOMP BZZT deuce: SIGH THAT'S CLEARLY AN ASCII CROCODILE NOT AN ALLIGATOR deuce: WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO FOOL ANYWAY

pants: WARNING: BAD PS SYNTAX, PERHAPS A BOGUS '-'? SEE HTTP://PROCPS.SF.NET/FAQ.HTML pants: WHICH ONE OF YOU DUMPY BEARDO DUMBSHITS FUCKED UP PS pants: MAYBE YOUR FREAKISHLY BACKWARDS THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY CAN'T AFFORD DASHES BUT HERE IN ***AMERICA*** IT IS HOW WE PASS OUR ARGUMENTS

pants: IT'S THE YEAR OF THE LINUX DESKTOP AGAIN!!!!!! pants: MAYBE THIS ONE: [LINK TO A DICK PIC, POSSIBLY MY OWN, WHO CAN SAY] deuce: (SQUINTING) THAT'S A BLACK DICK pants: WHO CAN SAY deuce: INVESTIGATION RESULTS: INCONCLUSIVE deuce: I TYPE THINGS AND THEN YOU TYPE THINGS AND THEN THE PATTERN REPEATS pants: FOREVER MORE

deuce: WHO DIDN'T SHIT THEMSELVES TODAY ??!?!? }}}} ME {{{{ pants: HURRAY

spigot: WHOEVER SAID I LICK DICK WAS REALLY NOT JOKING BLORK BLOP

deuce: I MEAN WHO FUCKING CARES spigot: (RAISES HAND) I DON'T spigot: LOWERS HAND, RAISES HAND (WHICH HAND FOR DON'T CARE IF YOU ASKED WHO CARES) deuce: YOU'RE BOTH RIGHT (NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO HOW MANY HANDS WENT UP ON WHICH QUESTION)

spigot: WHO KEEPS PUTTING MY SELF-ESTEEM WORKBOOK IN THE URINAL

pants: WHO AMONG US WILL REACH INTO MY SHORTS AND GIVE MY NUTS A GOOD HONKING

spigot: NO I DO NOT WANT A JOB IN THE GUANGDONG PROVINCE, WHO IS THIS pants: THE SUICIDE NETS ARE FULL AGAIN

spigot: I'M BALLSY AND FAT deuce: WHO ISN'T THESE DAYS spigot: I GENUINELY THINK I NEED NUTS deuce: IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT NUTS WITH YOU spigot: WELL MAYBE IF YOU WOULD PAY A LITTLE ATTENTION

spigot: WHO KNEW DUTCH CRUNCH WOULD LEAVE SO MANY CRUMBS IN THE BED

deuce: THOSE SERBIANS SURE ARE MEAN spigot: MAYBE THEY'RE MASS SWIMMING POOLS ?????????????? pants: MMMMM spigot: PLEASE SEND YOUR DATA TO ME IN THE FORM OF A QUESTION !!! spigot: WHO LICKS DICK deuce: DO YOU ?!!???!?!?! ?!?? deuce: THAT'S A QUESTION YOU SEE spigot: T DEUCE I THOUGHT JOKES HAD ONE PUNCHLINE, NOT TWO???????????? deuce: T SPIGOT DON'T BRING YOUR PERSONAL HANGUPS TO ME

deuce: WHO MADE THIS PUDDLE : PANTS SLOWLY RAISES HIS HAND

pants: ARE YOU A VIEWING OF THE NEW GUY ON STARZ deuce: I'M A FLOWER deuce: A DELICATE BEAUTIFUL FLOWER deuce: WHICH FLYING INSECTS HAVE SEX WITH deuce: THEREBY ALLOWING MY PLANT TO REPRODUCE deuce: WHO SAYS NATURE AIN'T QUEER pants: I NEVER ONCE

spigot: I'M JUDGE JERKALOT AND I DISPENSE A JIZZY JUSTICE spigot: PLEASE COME OVER TO MY HOUSE FOR TEA AND COTLETS AND DICK SUCKING deuce: WHO SHAVED ME spigot: NOT SURE I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PORKLOIN

deuce: T PANTS I JUST SHAVED!! pants: T DEUCE IF YOU DIDN'T STREAM IT ON TWITCH IT DIDN'T HAPPEN deuce: IT WAS ON ONLYFANS

deuce: why did you shave me you bastard pants: you had knots in your fur deuce: well fuck you anyway pants: fuck me indeed deuce: whoops, forgot I've been shaved, pretty sure this is the way I've always been pants: better hide your boner

spigot: HANDS UP WHO THINKS I'M PRETTY spigot: GET YOUR FUCKING HAND UP THERE

pants: WHO WANTS CAKE deuce: MEMEMMEMEM7ME(SPASM))))))))) spigot: CAKE???

spigot: WHO WANTS TO HELP ME WRITE A VAMPIRE FONTZINE

pants: WHO WHAT WHERE pants: OH pants: I WILL MASTURBATE ANY MAN WHO DARES TO STEP FORWARD AND HULAGHALGHLAG

net: WHO WILL BE FIRST TO SHAVE MY BALLS deuce: T NET PANTS pants: T NET ME

spigot: WHO WILL BUY spigot: MY BEAUTIFUL BONER spigot: WILL IT BE YOU spigot: WILL IT BE YOU (spigot): T PANTS WILL IT BE YOU *BEEP* (pants): LADYBUGS

pants: JEAN-CHARLES, YOU DRANK ALL ZE WINE spigot: WHO WILL FLY THE PLANE

deuce: T PANTS WHO WON THE FUCKING WAR pants: T DEUCE THE DONGS

pants: ED EMBERLEY VS RICHARD SCARRY: WHO WOULD WIN deuce: RICHARD SCARRY WOULD BRING A GUN

spigot: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PUSH IT UP THERE ALL THE TIME?!?!?!?

spigot: hands up who's a dumb dong who takes frequent naps

deuce: WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?????????????????????????? deuce: OH WAIT A MINUTE PORN

net: EMPIRE STATE BUILDING TO THROW "WHO'S ON TOP NOW" PARTY

spigot: WHO'S READY FOR A TWO-HOUR TEAM MEETING AT 7:30AM spigot: GOT MY COFFEE AND MY PENIS PUMP spigot: FSST FSST FSST FSST spigot: OH IM ON MUTE SORRY spigot: FSST FSST FSST FSST spigot: HOW'S MY AUDIO

spigot: MEANWHILE I REACH FOR THE HALF AND HALF AT STARBUCKS AND (SURPRISE) IT'S EMPTY

deuce: WHO'S THE BOSS !!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: ME!!!!!!!!! spigot: HURF spigot: YOU

spigot: TIME FOR A TALL FROSTY GLASS OF SUDS AT CLUB QUEER - WHO'S WITH ME PEOPLE spigot: WE CAN LISTEN TO ERASURE ON THE RIDE OVER spigot: I DIDN'T WEAR THESE PANTS FOR NOTHING

pants: LA LA LA pants: SINGING pants: LA LA LA HURP deuce: I LOVE YOUR MOUTH spigot: I LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH YOUR MOUTH spigot: FEELS DIFFERENT SOMEHOW deuce: WHOA MOUTH spigot: WERE YOU ENJOYING A BOX OF TRISCUITS

spigot: I HIT MY BALL INTO THE BUTTERCUPS pants: WELL REACH RIGHT IN AND PULL IT OUT YOU SILLY GOOSE

deuce: HURRP DURRRP ONE TO THE FOURTH DONGS spigot: ALL OF YOU ARE WHOLLY INAPPROPRIATE

deuce: SHARON STONE'S HEARTWARMING PERFORMANCE IN "WHORE" deuce: WHERE SHE RESCUES A KID AND PIMPS HIM spigot: I'M PROPPED UP LIKE A SOLDIER AND STOPPED UP LIKE A TOILET

spigot: CAN SOMEONE TELL WHORES IN EUROPE THAT IN ADDITION TO LOOKING LIKE MODELS THEY MUST ALSO KNOW HOW TO SUCK DICK IN AN ENTERTAINING FASHION??????????? HELLO

spigot: WE HAVE A WITNESS THAT CAN PLACE YOUR DONG IN THE SAME NEIGHBORHOOD AS MY FACE LAST JULY 4TH deuce: WHOSE DONG NOW??!? pants: WHO ATE THE LAST NIP

spigot: WHY DOES MY HEAD HURT EVERY FUCKING MORNING

spigot: BEAT ME OFF 2WICE ozone: WHAT ozone: WHY AM I HERE ozone: GOING BACK TO BED

uncredited woman: THE BOTTOMS OF YOUR FEET ARE BLACK pants: YEAH, ONE OF THE CONNECTORS ON MY CHEST FELL OFF AND I STEPPED ON IT, THAT'S THE ADHESIVE uncredited woman: WHY ARE THEY BOTH BLACK pants: WELL, AFTER I GOT IT UNSTUCK FROM ONE FOOT, I STEPPED ON IT AGAIN WITH THE OTHER

deuce: PUTTING MY BALLS IN YOUR MOUTH AND CHEWING IS TANTAMOUNT TO AN INSULT

deuce: YOU KNOW UNIX MASTERED FILE LOCKING IN THE LATE 1960'S deuce: WHY CAN'T MICROSOFT MANAGE TO DO IT atandt: P-NODES OR I-NODES ALL CONFUSED deuce: OO-NODES atandt: DYNAMIC DICKSUCKING AND VIRTUAL COCKSUCKING deuce: T ATANDT YOU WILL LEAVE NOW atandt: T DEUCE WHAT ABOUT OUR START-UP deuce: T ATANDT WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE atandt: T DEUCE THE PROMISE OF FUTURE DICK SUCKING

spigot: LS -LA deuce: HURRAY spigot: RM -R * spigot: T PANTS WHY CAN'T I ERASE JERKCITY WITH RM -R * deuce: HURRRR

deuce: WHY CAN'T I BE LOVED deuce: IT'S NOT MY FAULT I CAN'T CONTROL MY BOWELS/MOUTH

bung: WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY!!! bung: WE SHOULD ALL GO TO THE PARK AND HAVE A PICNIC OR SUCK COCK deuce: WHY CAN'T WE DO BOTH

spigot: WHY DO I LICK DICK?!!?! spigot: FOR MY OWN HEALTH?!!?!? spigot: NO BECAUSE I LIKE HELPING PEOPLE deuce: T SPIGOT YOU ALWAYS WERE AN ALTRUIST

pants: WHY DOES IT HURT WHEN YOU LOVE ME deuce: PURE COINCIDENCE

spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO SHIT MY LEGS OFF

deuce: WHY DOES IT HURT SO TO LOVE? pants: BECAUSE LOVE IS JUST ANOTHER NAME FOR HURTFUL PENISES

deuce: can we talk seriously now about your penis pants: k deuce: why does it look like a pigtail pants: only god can judge me deuce: oh he's going to do that like a bat out of a hell but that doesn't mean you're not required to answer the question was: re: pigtail (man is he going to go to town on you)

pants: ACCIDENTALLY pants: GAVE pants: MYSELF pants: A pants: FACIAL

pants: PARIS HAS A DOGSHIT PROBLEM pants: BROOM IS NOT A GOOD FORAGE PLANT FOR DEER DUHHHHHHHH pants: GEOCITIES deuce: WHIRRRRRRRR

spigot: WANNA KNOW WHY I LICKED THOSE DICKS spigot: IT WAS OUTTA RESPECT

dick: AND THAT'S THE STORY OF WHY I WALK SO FUNNY deuce: BRAVO !!! BRAVO !!!!!! ENCORE

spigot: WHY DOES EVERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE SMELL LIKE COCAINE spigot: WAIT A MI

spigot: KEEP REACHING FOR THAT BIG FAT DICK IN THE SKY spigot: JERKING EXCLUSIVELY BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 4 AND 8 pants: WHY IS THE CLOSED SIGN UP THEN spigot: T PANTS FAIRLY CONFIDENT IT'S NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX

deuce: WHAT THE HELL AM I LOOKING AT AND WHY SHOULD I CARE

deuce: DID SPIGOT LEAVE BECAUSE I FARTED deuce: BECAUSE I DIDN'T MEAN TO FART ON HIM deuce: I MEAN LITERALLY FART IN HIS FACE AND HOLD HIM DOWN UNTIL THE FART WAFTED AWAY deuce: BUT SOMETHING INSIDE MADE ME DO IT deuce: BASICALLY I'M SAYING BLAME MY INSIDES, NOT ME

deuce: RAPING ME BACK IN TIME pants: DON'T RAPE ANYTHING ELSE WHILE YOU'RE BACK THERE (LIKE OUR GRANDFATHERS) pants: WHY THE DINOSAURS DIED OUT deuce: MAKING MY GRANDFATHER RAPE YOUR GRANDFATHER AT GUNPOINT deuce: BECAUSE I'M AN INNOVATOR pants: BLESS YOU SIR (AS I SLOWLY CEASE TO EXIST)

spigot: why the fuck am i climbing on a chair to put my smoke alarm up there, it's fine doing its work on the table spigot: i don't give a shit if there's smoke way the fuck up there spigot: yes i made toast

deuce: T DICK LET US RUB OUR DICKS TOGETHER TO MAKE FIRE (RE: FRICTION) dick: T DEUCE WELL OK BUT I WILL LET YOU RUB YOURS AGAINST MINE (SO YOU ARE THE GAY ONE, NOT ME) deuce: ACCORDING TO EINSTEIN IT DOES NOT MATTER !!!!!!!!! HEAT WILL BE GENERATED IN ANY CASE dick: OKAY TECHNICALLY THAT'S GALILEAN RELATIVITY BUT LET NOT THAT INTERRUPT US

deuce: FULL OF VIM AND VIGOR (AND A LITTLE VINEGAR)

atandt: ATDT (BIG) FAT-FACE pants: RING RING RING atandt: COME ON pants: RING CLICK BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP atandt: CONNECT 1200 pants: HOW BROWN IS YOUR BUNNY}}}}}}}}}}}}} NO CARRIER

spigot: LET'S GO TO THE FOOD COURT AND GET GIRLS spigot: WE CAN TALK TO THEM ABOUT HOW MY PROGRAM DOESN'T COMPILE deuce: WHOOPS CRAPPED MYSELF

pants: STONED AT 9:14 AM ON A TUESDAY spigot: STILL ASLEEP deuce: HUNGOVER pants: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP (GARBAGE CAN LIDS) spigot: SUDDENLY PRICKS deuce: FOAMY BRRRRRR FOAMY pants: WHY WON'T DJ SHADOW ACKNOWLEDGE MY CARDS AND LETTERS AND FLOWERS spigot: WILL NOBODY CHARGE ME AS A JUVENILE?!?!!? deuce: I SHALL SIR

pants: WELP!!!!!!! BETTER SLAM THE DOOR ON MY WANG pants: WHY WOULD I DO THAT pants: WHY

deuce: EVERYBODY SHUT UP YOU'RE MAKING MY BONER GO AWAY

deuce: WHY TRAIN pants: GET COMMISSIONER GORDON ON THE HORN

net: PISS net: THIS PLACE HAS REALLY LOST ITS SENSE OF COMMUNITY

pants: WE COULD BE WIENER BUDDIES deuce: *WE ALREADY ARE* pants: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN deuce: *LOOK DOWN*

spigot: I'M GOING TO GET SPICED UP WITH JAMAICAN JERKSPICE RUM AND A SEARCH WARRANT spigot: DEAR DOMINIQUE SIMONE: spigot: SERIOUSLY WE KNOW THAT'S A WIG deuce: TIME FOR YOUR PILL

uncredited woman: ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA, MY NAME IS JUST "GIRL" deuce: SOMEONE PUNCH HER IN THE FUCKING MOUTH pants: AS A SEX OFFENDER I HOPE TO SOMEDAY GROW MY OWN VICTIM deuce: NOW WORK THE KIDNEYS pants: THIS STORY ALWAYS ENDS WITH HER FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS

dick: MY EDITS WERE CONSIDERED UNHELPFUL OR UNCONSTRUCTIVE pants: THAT'S AWFUL

pants: WILL GOTHS PROUDLY SERVE THEIR COUNTRY pants: WAIT WAIT WAIT pants: OKAY NOW ALL THE PEPPERED SALAMI IS GONE

pants: DO NOT TALK TO DRIVER deuce: THIS FILM HAS BEEN DECLASSIFIED

spigot: WILL LICK DICK FOR A STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT

atandt: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY WE DON'T HAVE A TAMPON MACHINE IN THE MEN'S ROOM

pants: please shoot my brain deuce: if I shoot your brain will the word salad stop deuce: because I'm not sure that's where it's coming from pants: same, same

spigot: SERIOUSLY: WILL THERE EVER BE A RAINBOW deuce: T SPIGOT UNKNOWN AT PRESENT

pants: MY NUTS ARE SWOLLEN UP LIKE BALLOONS bung: WE NEED BIGGER RAM DISKS deuce: WILL THIS NEVER END deuce: I SHOULD HAVE NEVER PRESSED ENTER deuce: WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS I WILL FIND PANTS AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM (UNRELATED) pants: MY NUTS ARE SWOLLEN UP LIKE BALLOONS bung: WE NEED BIGGER RAM DISKS

spigot: T DEUCE WILL YOU BE ATTENDING BUTTMAN'S JAVASCRIPT CLASS

spigot: ARE YOU READY TO JERK WITH ME OR NOT spigot: BECAUSE I HAVE A GROUP OF FAGS COMING IN FROM BACK EAST TO LOOK AT THE STALL AND THEY'RE WILLING TO JERK *TODAY* spigot: I'M NOT TRYING TO PRESSURE YOU SERIOUSLY BECAUSE YOU'RE A FRIEND I'M PREPARED TO LET YOU JERK FIRST SINCE YOU'RE RIGHT HERE

pants: 4 COCKS AT ONCE ??? pants: ALL RIGHT pants: BUT I WILL BURN OUT IF NOT PROPERLY OILED OR OTHERWISE MAINTAINED deuce: I AM WILLING TO TAKE THAT RISK

pants: PUNCH THE COCK, WIN $10 pants: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OH GOD HERE'S YOUR MONEY

dick: T DEUCE WANNA WIFE SWAP ??? BUT SINCE NEITHER ONE OF US IS MARRIED WE CAN JUST SUCK EACH OTHER OFF AND PRETEND deuce: T DICK I DO NOT SEE HOW EITHER OF US COULD LOSE OUT WITH THAT ARRANGEMENT