spigot: COULD THERE BE ANYTHING MORE DISGUSTING THAN SOMETHING CALLED PEOPLESOFT

pants: ALL I KNOW IS, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT NOTHING pants: PLEASE REVIEW MY PULL REQUEST

spigot: OKAY PEOPLE THE APOLLO 13 IS BROKEN AGAIN spigot: SOMEONE GET OUT AND PUSH

spigot: PLUMP spigot: I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE

pants: I'M SORRY WE FOUGHT pants: LET'S BE FRIENDS pants: ALLOW ME TO GIVE YOU HEAD IN A COUNTY-MANAGED STATE PARK

pants: @spigot i don't like the @spigot designator i prefer t spigot spigot: @pants 'apparat' (breaking bad song) reminds me of 'the xx' who opened for chemical bros deuce: +pants this one's even worse (thanks Google+)

pants: I FINGERED LAURA PALMER

spigot: WE LOVE FEEDBACK spigot: TELL US ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH APPLE PENCIL spigot: WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOUR APPLE PENCIL? pants: IT FITS UP MY ASS spigot: TELL US WHY YOU DO NOT USE YOUR APPLE PENCIL MORE OFTEN pants: IT LOOKS RIDICULOUS STICKING OUT OF MY ASS LIKE THAT

spigot: THE ROBOT PROSTITUTE HAS CLAMPED MY DONG AND I NEED MORE QUARTERS pants: IT TAKES APPLE PAY (NOT EVEN LOOKING UP FROM DOODLE JUMP)

pants: I'M A BLIMPY BULEMIC BUHHHHHHH FEED ME BUHHHH APPLESAUCE BUHHHH deuce: I DON'T LIKE APPLESAUCE deuce: HOWEVER deuce: I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO WORKING WITH THE GAY

spigot: apple walnut loaf ??? thank you so much !!!! spigot: ***thonk*** garbage can spigot: rainforest prune crisps with real flax seeds ??? awesome spigot: thonk spigot: cranberry oat bars ??? spigot: apricot pecan shortbread ???? spigot: plum raisin scones with orange peel marmalade ??? spigot: thonk thonk thonk spigot: let's all squeeze in for a quick photo spigot: blam blam blam spigot: literally fucking die

spigot: FLINGING IT INTO THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL pants: GARABAGE DISPOSAL FLINGS IT OUT, BACK ONTO YOUR WRIST

pants: NUGGGGGGGGH APPLESAUCE

spigot: LET'S HEAR IT FOR APPLESCRIPT spigot: I'M TRYING REAL HARD TO IGNORE THOSE DICKS pants: THEY WERE AMUSING AT FIRST, NOW THEY'RE EMBARASSING spigot: THEY POKE ME IN THE FACE BUT THEY ALSO MAKE ME THINK pants: THEY BUILD CHARACTER

pants: DICK(S) deuce: WHERE pants: HOW MANY PACKETS THROUGH HOW MANY ROUTERS IS THIS GOING SO WE CAN JUST TALK ABOUT DICKS ACROSS NETWORKS deuce: 357305739067390573405973409 5734095730496793046709345673 9406793476034976930 4756390467349076394076 deuce: (APPROX.)

pants: 900 dicks deuce: (approx.) deuce: 900 dicks (est.)

spigot: SOMEONE SLATHER ME UP WITH BUTTER BECAUSE I'M A DELICIOUS APRICOT FAG MUFFIN spigot: OVER HERE IN THE VENDING MACHINE spigot: HELLO spigot: PUSH YOUR DOLLAR IN AND HIT D-5!!!!!! spigot: WHOA HOLY DIZZY FROM THE SPIRALING TWISTY COIL spigot: FALLING *BONK* THAT HURTS!!!!! spigot: NOW UNWRAP ME AND PUSH MY FACE IN THE TOILET!!!!! spigot: I'M DELICIOUS!!!!!

deuce: DOESN'T MATTER HOW LONG AFTER THE NUKE GOES OFF, WITH NO OTHER FOOD, YOU'LL STILL EAT ME

deuce: I install my dick in /opt

effigy: I THINK I FIGURED OUT WHY ARBY'S IS SUCH GOOD HANGOVER FOOD (RE: ME EATING THERE EVERY NIGHT) - IT IS SO SALTY THAT YOU GET ALL YOUR ELECTROLYTES BACK LIKE YOU DRANK 10 GATORADES (GO FIGURE) effigy: GO ARBY'S effigy: WHY ON EARTH AM I UP? pants: SAME, SAME effigy: WELP, HEADING TO ARBY'S pants: YOUR BEST BUYS / :SPARKLES: :SPARKLES: :SPARKLES: / ARE ALWAYS / AT :ARBYS:

spigot: *HOMPH* I'M A FAT QUEER COCK EATER spigot: HOW CAN I MANAGE THE NET WHEN I'M SCRAMBLING AROUND TRYING TO MANAGE ALL THESE DICKS

pants: I'LL BET SHE SUCKS A LITTLE DICK BUT NOT MUCH deuce: ARE WE NOT DONE WITH THIS YET

pants: are we not horses deuce: I'd say we are horse-like

pants: IS A MILF LIKE A GROK pants: CAN I BASH A MILF'S HEAD IN WITH A GROK deuce: ARE WE PODCASTING RIGHT NOW pants: INTO THE GROKOSPHERE

(spigot): ARE WE WORRIED THAT MAYBE MY DONG IS THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

pants: THAT'S NICE BUT (CLEARS THROAT) (WON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT) (MUMBLES) ARE YOU A WIENER DOG deuce: NO deuce: NO I AM NOT

deuce: ARE YOU GOING TO DIE deuce: SLASH ARE YOU DEAD ALREADY pants: I AM NOT SURE pants: IF I DIE PLEASE DO NOT CLEAR MY BROWSER CACHE THE WORLD SHOULD KNOW THE TRUTH

pants: ARE YOU MY ASHTRAY deuce: MORE YOUR GENERAL TRASH RECEPTACLE deuce: BUT YES, CIGARETTE BUTTS, LIT CIGARETTES HAPPILY ACCEPTED pants: WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ADMIT WE'RE LOST pants: JUST ASK MY BONER FOR DIRECTIONS

pants: ARE YOU OKAY : DEUCE GURGLES pants: SHOULD I CHOKE YOU

deuce: SO: ARE ***YOU*** READY TO RUMBLE ?!?!?!? atandt: I AM BREAKING DOWN AND SAYING YES deuce: WHOO HOOO atandt: FOLKS... I'LL BE IN THE ALLEY FOR THE NEXT deuce: POUNDING ENSUES

deuce: ARE YOU READY TO **RUMBLE** ?!?!?!? atandt: IF BY RUMBLE YOU MEAN TAKE IT IN THE ASS IN THE ALLEY..... WELL NO deuce: THIS ISN'T GOING THE WAY I PLANNED atandt: IF YOU ASKED IN LOWERCASE THEN MAYBE deuce: ALAS I AM NOT ALLOWED TO USE LOWERCASE DUE TO ONGOING LITIGATION

pants: are you ready 2 rock deuce: could use 30, 40 minutes pants: actually could we rock tomorrow night instead pants: yeah tomorrow is better for me too (4 me 2) pants: i'm better to rock after a fresh night's sleep and a shower and a mug of cocoa deuce: what about a good dump pants: no you must hold it in until it hurts and then wait some more deuce: i see

spigot: ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO SEND THIS MAIL.......... spigot: WITHOUT A SUBJECT ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! spigot: OH GOD GRAB BONK BLORF STUMBLE STAIRS PANTS DOGSHIT

deuce: ARE YOU MY MOTHER net: N deuce: ARE YOU SURE net: I DON'T HAVE ANY FIREARMS deuce: CHECK AGAIN net: T DEUCE I SAID I UH OK deuce: FORCING MYSELF BACK INTO YOUR WOMB deuce: JUST TRY TO SHOVE YOURSELF UP SOMEONE'S COOCHIE AND THEY'LL ALWAYS GIVE IN

spigot: EXCUSE ME SIR spigot: SIR deuce: YES spigot: ARE YOU THE CROW? deuce: MAYBE spigot: BECAUSE YOU'RE PISSING ON MY BRIEFCASE

pants: BEEZUS DOES RAMONA spigot: SUPERFUDGED

pants: COCKS pants: THEY COME AND GO AS THEY PLEASE pants: WHAT CAN BE DONE pants: WHAT INDEED pants: MAN ALIVE I SURE COULD GO FOR A BIG SANDWICH RIGHT NOW pants: ARE YOU THERE GOD IT'S ME FATPANTS pants: WHAT DO I PAY YOU A RETAINER FOR pants: YOU KEEP THOSE COCKS OUT OF MY GARDEN OR I'LL KNOCK YOUR BLOCK OFF

spigot: PLEASE LEAVE SO I CAN BEAT OFF WITH DIGNITY deuce: MMMM

deuce: ARFY DARFY spigot: I WILL NOT spigot: BORED ALREADY

deuce: SIR pants: COME ON SURE IT IS deuce: THAT'S NOT deuce: SIR pants: MAN UP

spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO SUCK COCKS WITH A -R FOR RECURSIVE AND A -F TO BE FORCED !!! pants: DON'T FORGET THE --QUEER (NOT TELLING WHAT THIS MEANS) spigot: NOT INTERESTED IN THE -S OPTION

spigot: CANCER STICKS pants: NANCY BOOTS deuce: TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT

dick: YOU ARE SERIOUSLY SHIVERING ME TIMBERS deuce: HOLD FUCKING STILL

spigot: THE QUESTION IS NOT WHETHER IT'S ART OR PORNOGRAPHY PEOPLE, THE QUESTION IS HOW FAR IS THAT BAT UP THE GUY'S ASS

spigot: THE QUEER MAGAZINES ARE FOR AN ART PROJECT, NOT A BEATING OFF PROJECT

spigot: STOP REFERRING TO ME AS A BEACHED WHALE NAMED B.J.

spigot: FOLKS IF YOU'RE FORCED TO SUCK DICK AS A CHILD YOU WON'T ENJOY IT AS AN ADULT

spigot: MY BALLS ARE AS BIG AS YOUR MOUTH deuce: YES deuce: YES THEY ARE

(pants): GOTTA GET UP pants: MUST RUN pants: AH FUCK IT HLAGHLUAGHLUAHULAHG

uncredited woman: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY GARDEN pants: WELL I WAS MASTURBATING UNTIL YOU STARTED YELLING AND CARRYING ON

pants: SCISSORS BEATS PAPER pants: PAPER BEATS ROCK pants: DICK BEATS MOUTH atandt: WHAT BEATS DICK atandt: THE CORRECT ANSWER IS, OF COURSE, "THE SPECIAL PROSECUTOR" deuce: PLEASE GO AWAY deuce: AS PER OUR DISCUSSION DATED 5/25

spigot: WELL LIKE I WROTE IN MY GAY MEMOIRS: "AND THEN AT THE END OF THE AFTERNOON AS MY ANONYMOUS TOILET PARTNER WALKED OUT OF HIS STALL WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A THANK YOU OR A BUSINESS CARD SLIPPED UNDER THE DOOR OR LIKE A MORSE-CODE TAPPING OF HIS PHONE NUMBER (AS PER THE USUAL)" spigot: "I KNEW THAT TOMORROW WOULD BE YET ANOTHER 9-5 OF COCKS AND SPURT. IT'S TIME GO HO HOME I TOLD MYSELF, AND WITH THAT I TOWELLED OFF MY QUEER FACE, WALKED BACK OUT INTO THE BRIGHT LIGHTS OF VALLCO FASHION PARK AND WAITED FOR THE 23." spigot: THE END (OR IS IT)

pants: COCKS deuce: POTENTIALLY LARGE ONES pants: DANGEROUSLY LARGE (AS THE LEGEND GOES) deuce: HURTINGLY LARGE pants: TEARINGLY BIG

deuce: I JUST MISS YOU BOTH !!11111!!11 : PANTS LEFT THE ROOM. deuce: T SPIGOT I DON'T THINK HE'S AS COMMITTED TO THIS RELATIONSHIP AS YOU AND I ARE (WHAT) spigot: SAME HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : SPIGOT LEFT THE ROOM deuce: NOOOOOOOOOO

pants: I WOULD LIKE TO "CHOKE THAT SHIT ON DOWN" AS YOU PUT IT pants: FORCE ME TO PLAY IT LIKE A FLUTE

pants: I'M A LAFF RIOT spigot: LITTLE MISS SPIGOT pants: I AM NOT AS GAY AS YOU THINK I AM .(spigot): HOME TO JERK (SERIOUSLY) pants: (I AM GAYER)

net: IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT I GET GAY ASAP deuce: WE CAN HELP YOU IN THAT RESPECT : spigot1. : 23K View : spigot2.

pants: CUNTS AND HALF-A-CUNT {}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{ deuce: JESUS CHRISTABLES deuce: I MURDER THEM pants: LET'S GET HAMSTERS pants: OR GUINEA PIGS deuce: WHAT'S THIS XXX{}XXXX pants: HMM deuce: DON'T BE SHY FUCKO pants: CUNT IN A WALL ??? deuce: A CUNT FENCE IDIOT pants: DON'T BE A BLUE MEANIE deuce: HOW ABOUT THIS [][][][][]{}[][][][][] pants: HMM deuce: SPEAK UP SON pants: CUNT LOCKERS deuce: DING

deuce: I LIKE DICK: I WOULDN'T CALL IT LOVE BUT IT'S DEFINITELY A LIKE pants: THE MAN LIKES DICK pants: LET'S ALL GIVE HIM A BIG HAND pants: DON'T GO AWAY WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

atandt: T DEUCE LET'S WRITE AN EPISODE OF NORTHERN EXPOSURE TOGETHER deuce: T ATANDT OKAY atandt: HOLD ME deuce: I CAN'T READ OR WRITE ENGLISH atandt: CHRIST deuce: (SPURTS) YOUR SERVICES ARE NO LONGER NEEDED

pants: LEARN TO URINE pants: ASK ME HOWS

spigot: SOMEONE ASK ME WHY I TAKE DICKS AND PRICKS IN THE FACE deuce: I'M ASKING spigot: IT WAS A GOOD SCRIPT

pants: ME CHIEF SUCK-UM DICK (ASK ME **HOW**) pants: ANYONE GOT ANY UNLICKED DICKS??? pants: NOT PARTICULAR ABOUT SIZE, SHAPE OR TEXTURE

spigot: I'M JUST GOING TO SING UNTIL TV'S ON spigot: ASK THE MOUTHS spigot: DEAR MOUTH: WHAT'S FOR DINNER

(spigot): OKAY WELL spigot: I WAS JUST ASKED TO KINDA LAY OFF SINGING spigot: LICK DICK / LICK DICK / CHOKIN' ON A PRICK spigot: TO THE COPS THEME spigot: GUESS 45 MINS IS PLENTY

spigot: WHAT THE pants: YOU PEOPLE SICKEN AND DISGUST ME spigot: YOU AND YOU pants: BUHHHHHHH QUEER spigot: OUT

spigot: T PANTS ASKING FOR THE LAST TIME SINCE YOU SEEM UNWILLING TO RESPOND: *DO YOU THINK BAILEY JAY HAS GAINED WEIGHT*

pants: PLEASE SUCK IT deuce: I WILLN'T

pants: I CAN'T GET UP, MY BONER FELL ASLEEP IN MY LAP pants: LOOK HOW COZY IT IS

spigot: NO IFS ANDS OR SQUIRTS

spigot: *** BREAKING *** spigot: LOUD SHITTING THE NEW QUIET QUITTING

spigot: TRAVELING THROUGH TIME DOING MATH AND STUDYING THE VIOLIN I LITERALLY HAVE NO TIME FOR CAPERS spigot: YEAH I'M ON THE "SPECTRUM" spigot: SUCKING PRICKS EQUALLY CAUSE THEY REMAIN UNDER MOUTHED

deuce: EVERY DAY IS ASS DAY pants: I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE WITH THE TOILET, JUST NEAR IT pants: GET OFFA ME

deuce: ASS FUCKIN' deuce: ASS FUCKIN' II: REVENGE OF THE ASS deuce: ASS FUCKIN' III: OW OW OW OW OW OW pants: WAS THERE EVER A IV

atandt: T DEUCE ARE YOU THE ASS MASTER? deuce: NO atandt: T SPIGOT ARE YOU THE ASS MASTER? deuce: I MEAN YES atandt: T SPIGOT FORGET IT

deuce: ICQ SUCKS pants: THERE NEEDS TO BE AN OPEN PROTOCOL FOR... deuce: FOR WHAT pants: FOR MY ASS AND BALLS deuce: INDEED deuce: NOT A COMPLICATED PROTOCOL BUT A PROTOCOL NEVERTHELESS pants: ATBTP pants: ASS TO BALLS TRANSFER PROTOCOL deuce: RFC 8888 deuce: FOUR SETS OF BALLS IN A ROW pants: THAT'S FAR HIGHER THAN I CAN COUNT deuce: SHUT THE FUCK UP pants: MAKE ME deuce: SHUT THE FUCK UP pants: VERY WELL THEN

deuce: WHEN YOU ASSUME YOU MAKE AN ASS OUT OF (NUCLEAR BOMB GOES OFF)

spigot: FOLKS I'M HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK spigot: HURF HUHHHHHHHH HURF HUHHHHHHHH HURF HUHHHHHHHHH spigot: I CAN'T BLOW OUT THIS SIMPLE MATCH deuce: JUMP HIM spigot: SON OF A

pants: AULGH deuce: DROWNING IN IT deuce: AND FROM IT deuce: INCIDENTALLY

net: DEEP THROATING A MAGLITE HERE pants: DOES THIS COCK RING MAKE ME LOOK FAT deuce: WUHHHHHHH deuce: I AM INJECTING CLEANING FLUID INTO MY VEINS BECAUSE I WISH TO DETECT NEUTRINOS net: IF I GOT REALLY REALLY FAT WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME net: I MEAN FATTER THAN NOW deuce: WUHHHHHHHH

deuce: THREE-CHEESE TORTELLINI WITH PESTO SAUCE HERE I COME!!! pants: WHY NOT FOUR OR FIVE deuce: I'M ON A BUDGET OKAY pants: YOU DESERVE AT LEAST 4

spigot: I SHOULD PROBABLY BRING A GUN TO WORK AT LEAST ONCE IN MY LIFE

deuce: DICKS pants: FLOP AT LEAST ONE OF THEM OUT (UNCLEAR ON THE NUMBER OF DICKS THAT HUMANS ACTUALLY HAVE)

pants: FIVE spigot: LOWER pants: TWO spigot: HIGHER pants: THREE spigot: HIGHER pants: FOUR ??? spigot: YOU FOUND THE DICK pants: I THOUGHT WE WERE PLAYING FOR MATCHSTICKS

pants: SOMEBODY'S GOT SOMETHING UP ME pants: OOOOH A FIST pants: AT LEAST THEY WRAPPED A BIG BOW AROUND IT: SOME MANNER OF HOLIDAY REAMABLE

pants: smells like an adult bookstore in here

pants: I DIDN'T SPIT ON YOU I pants: OKAY WELL YES I SPIT ON YOU BUT I ONLY DID IT OUT OF DISGUST deuce: AT ME NOT ON ME deuce: YOU MISSED BUT YOUR INTENTION WAS CLEAR pants: MMMM YEAH OOOH BOY

spigot: AT MY AGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: I'M LUCKY I spigot: JUST HAPPY TO B spigot: YA GOTTA WONDER HOW THE

spigot: if you can't handle me at my worst you can't fondle me on my nuts

pants: I CAN MANIPULATE THREE SOCK PUPPETS AT ONCE deuce: HOW ???!?! deuce: OH

pants: I'M A DONG pants: AND A DUMB DONG AT THAT pants: PUNISH/JERK ME deuce: I NEED TO BE PUSHED/POPPED pants: I WOULD RATHER SHIFT/UNSHIFT YOU pants: AS I AM ALREADY SITTING DOWN deuce: OH ALL RIGHT (JERKS OFF)

pants: GETTING WAY TOO OLD TO BE HOLDING IN MY URINE WHEN LADIES WALK BY spigot: :NOTES: DICKRICKER :NOTES: :NOTES: DICKRICKER :NOTES: :NOTES: RICK ME A DICK :NOTES: spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: SUCK ME A PLICK / TODAY :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: spigot: SUCK ME A GODDAMN PLICK pants: LAWYER

deuce: WE DO NOT LOCK DOORS IN THIS HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: FINE I'LL BEAT OFF AT THE DINNER TABLE

deuce: T SPIGOT IT'S JUST YOU AND ME SIR spigot: CHRISTMAS ERECTIONS deuce: JUST FINISHED DEALING WITH MINE spigot: WHEW

pants: HOW ABOUT "BEHIND SAD EYES : THE GEORGE HARRISON STORY" deuce: THERE IS NO POSSIBLE REASON I COULD WANT THAT BOOK SIR pants: OH COME ON pants: EVERYBODY LOVES THE ROLLING STONES

atandt: MY LIPS GET CHAPPED AFTER WANG PARTIES atandt: YET I STILL GO deuce: ROGER THAT

: PLEASE WELCOME JERKCITY'S NEWEST MEMBER, ATANDT deuce: FREAK

atandt: BALLS HANGING TOO LOW atandt: CAREFUL YOU'LL PUT AN EYE OUT atandt: GIVE THEM ROOM TO SWING