pants: I CAN MANIPULATE THREE SOCK PUPPETS AT ONCE deuce: HOW ???!?! deuce: OH

pants: I'M A DONG pants: AND A DUMB DONG AT THAT pants: PUNISH/JERK ME deuce: I NEED TO BE PUSHED/POPPED pants: I WOULD RATHER SHIFT/UNSHIFT YOU pants: AS I AM ALREADY SITTING DOWN deuce: OH ALL RIGHT (JERKS OFF)

pants: GETTING WAY TOO OLD TO BE HOLDING IN MY URINE WHEN LADIES WALK BY spigot: :NOTES: DICKRICKER :NOTES: :NOTES: DICKRICKER :NOTES: :NOTES: RICK ME A DICK :NOTES: spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: SUCK ME A PLICK / TODAY :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: spigot: SUCK ME A GODDAMN PLICK pants: LAWYER

deuce: WE DO NOT LOCK DOORS IN THIS HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: FINE I'LL BEAT OFF AT THE DINNER TABLE

deuce: T SPIGOT IT'S JUST YOU AND ME SIR spigot: CHRISTMAS ERECTIONS deuce: JUST FINISHED DEALING WITH MINE spigot: WHEW

pants: HOW ABOUT "BEHIND SAD EYES : THE GEORGE HARRISON STORY" deuce: THERE IS NO POSSIBLE REASON I COULD WANT THAT BOOK SIR pants: OH COME ON pants: EVERYBODY LOVES THE ROLLING STONES

atandt: MY LIPS GET CHAPPED AFTER WANG PARTIES atandt: YET I STILL GO deuce: ROGER THAT

: PLEASE WELCOME JERKCITY'S NEWEST MEMBER, ATANDT deuce: FREAK

atandt: BALLS HANGING TOO LOW atandt: CAREFUL YOU'LL PUT AN EYE OUT atandt: GIVE THEM ROOM TO SWING

spigot: T ATANDT WHY CAN'T I CD INTO ~ATANDT ??????? spigot: I'LL EMAIL YOU THE DEBUGGER LOG spigot: WHAT'S IN ~ATANDT/BOYS atandt: SHH spigot: WHAT'S ~ATANDT/GAY pants: YOU DIRTY DIRTY MEN atandt: (VERY DIRTY) spigot: HELP spigot: HELP WITH EXTRA \N

atandt: I NEED TO SPEAK TO THE DUNGEONMASTER HERE atandt: WHICH BALDWIN AM I atandt: I WILL NOW SHOW YOU MY MAYPOLE pants: APPARENTLY I CANNOT CHARGE MALE ESCORTS TO MY LIBRARY CARD

pants: IT TURNS OUT THE SO-CALLED DUCK WAS ACTUALLY A DRAGON AND NOW I OWE CHILD SUPPORT hanford: ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT ATARI 2600 ADVENTURE

atandt: ATDT IS MY LONG LOST INBRED COUSIN

pants: SO ANYWAY I CLONED A DICK AND LICKED IT pants: T DEUCE LAWS NO deuce: T PANTS WAS IT JUST LIKE THE ORIGINAL ?!?!?!? pants: T DEUCE EVERY DICK A LITTLE DIFFERENT (EVEN EXACT COPIES, AS IT TURNS OUT)

pants: THE DICKS ARE MARCHING IN pants: TWO BY TWO, FOUR BY FOUR pants: LORD GOD THEY ARE STORMING OUR BEACHES

deuce: COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS / COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS deuce: THEY'RE MARCHING YOU SEE deuce: LIKE ARMY ANTS THEY DEVOUR EVERYTHING IN THEIR PATH

pants: T DEUCE I WAS HANGING AROUND OUTSIDE DURING A THUNDERSTORM AND WAS ATTACKED BY SKELETONS ON HORSEBACK deuce: COOL HUH pants: IF BY COOL YOU MEAN I GOT MY ASS KICKED THEN HELL YES IT WAS FUCKING COOL pants: IT WAS STRAIGHT OUT OF HEAVY METAL MAGAZINE OR MAYBE OMNI

pants: ATTACK ME WITH WEAPONS pants: [B[A[B[A[B[A[B[A[D[D[D[D[D pants: MY CAN-DO MOUTH deuce: YOU'RE A YES MAN

deuce: ATTENTION deuce: MY BALLS deuce: THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION

pants: TECHNICALLY YOU COULD FREEZE THE URINE AND THEN YOU'D BE EATING IT pants: AND I'D BE BEATING IT pants: MORE AFTER THE BREAK

deuce: T SPIGOT YOU HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM spigot: PLEASE CALL ME THE DOCTOR spigot: LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE GAYS AND LESBIANS THROUGHOUT AMERICA

deuce: HURRAY pants: HURRAY FOR WHAT pants: YOUR DOPEY DICK pants: WELL DUH deuce: HURRAY FOR THAT TOO deuce: THERE ARE AT LEAST TWO UNAUTHORIZED (AND HIGHLY ILLEGAL) JERKCITY IMPOSTORS OUT THERE pants: WHAT ARE YOU SO EXCITED ABOUT pants: IS DEEP SPACE 9 ON OR SOMETHING deuce: MY NUTS STILL ACHE FROM THAT TREMENDOUS JERK pants: T DEUCE I WILL BE YOUR ATTORNEY deuce: T PANTS NO pants: T DEUCE AS SOON AS I LEARN HOW TO READ, SPELL deuce: T PANTS EXCELLENT WE'LL MAKE MILLIONS pants: T DEUCE I'LL BE YOUR LAWYER ALSO

pants: WHY COMIC SANS DIDN'T OCCUR TO ME FIRST THING IS REALLY BEYOND ME HTTPS://JERKCITY.COM/AUDITIONFORM.PDF deuce: YEAH THAT'S KIND OF REQUIRED ISN'T IT deuce: I DON'T KNOW, TIMES NEW BORING LOOKED BETTER/MORE STUPID SOMEHOW

hanford: PUT ON SOME COFFEE hanford: THEN: hanford: SIT DOWN hanford: AND hanford: SHUT UP

pants: I'M AN AUTIST deuce: I'M AN AUTIST ARTIST deuce: IN THAT I GRIND UP AUTISTIC PEOPLE AND USE THEM AS PAINT pants: BRAVO deuce: GET OVER HERE, YOU pants: L3GAL W33D

atandt: PERHAPS BONGHITS WILL FIX A BLOWN HEAD GASKET

effigy: I THINK IF YOU DIE OF AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION, THEY SHOULDN'T PLAY YOUR MUSIC IN THE SAFEWAY

spigot: DOES BOSTON DYNAMICS MAKE LITERALLY NOTHING THAT SUCKS AND FUCKS deuce: THE BOSTON DYNAMICS AUTOJOB MARK II deuce: DON'T ASK WHAT HAPPENED THE OUR MARK I

spigot: I'VE DEDICATED MY LIFE TO LICKING DICK AND NOW ROBOTS ARE DOING IT

spigot: FOLKS I HOPE YOUR BUSINESS-CRITICAL APPS ARE AVAILABLE IN THE CLOUD

pants: AUTO-EROTIC BELT HANGING IN THE CLOSET ??? WELL ALL RIGHT BUT ONLY IF YOU BAG MY HEAD AND DIAL 999 pants: I CAN'T DECIDE WHETHER TO MOLEST YOU OR KILL YOU pants: I'M GOING TO BAG YOU AND FREEZE YOU FOR LATER (MY FINAL ANSWER)

deuce: WELP I'VE BEEN AWAKE FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS TIME TO START DRINKING deuce: JEAN-CHARLES YOU FOOL, YOU CANNOT FUSE PROTIUM AT THAT TEMPERATURE AND PRESSURE AT ANY KIND OF SUBSTELLAR RATE !!!!!

pants: I'M HOPING FOR A GRAMMY, A DARWIN deuce: I DON'T SPEAK FAGGOT pants: I CAN TRANSLATE

pants: GAGGING ON A FOREIGN OBJECT deuce: I AM THAT FOREIGN OBJECT : Away From Keyboard [X] : Away message: : uncreator antimessiah poison wave universal endbringer : [ OK ] [ Cancel ]

deuce: I HAVE AWESOME DISEASE pants: THIS DOGSHIT WILL CURE YOU

deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT'S AWESOME ???? ME, THAT'S WHAT'S FUCKING AWESOME pants: AWESOMES

pants: O CHRISTMAS DONG O XMAS DONG pants: HAULGHALGHLG deuce: WHY FOR ARE YOU SQUIRMING? pants: PUPPETS, MUPPETS, ASSFISTERY deuce: JUST AN ABSOLUTELY AWFUL CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

spigot: T PANTS I WAS IN THE OSILLOSCOPE ROOM LISTENING TO YOU SING SONGS ABOUT YOUR CATS THE WHOLE TIME spigot: I THOUGHT ABOUT SAYING SOMETHING BUT INSTEAD RECORDED IT AND PUSHED IT UP TO YOUTUBE spigot: T PANTS ALSO I SOLD YOUR BEATOFF TOWEL ON EBAY (AXL ROSE'S BEATOFF TOWEL L@@K)

spigot: THAT'S B AS IN BALLS atandt: NOBODY AT SANTANA ROW WANTS TO SEE MY MAN-PENIS spigot: A AS IN ALLS atandt: YOU SURE YOU WANNA DO THIS spigot: L AS IN HURRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRF atandt: HIGH SCORE

deuce: BUH pants: BUH?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!? pants: SETTLE DOWN MISTER deuce: NO

spigot: MADEMOISELLE I TRULY MISTOOK YOUR KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS spigot: I ACCEPT AND EMBRACE MY MUCH LARGER THAN AVERAGE PENIS spigot: :CANDLE: :CANDLE: :CANDLE: :CANDLE: :CANDLE: :CANDLE: B O N E Q U E S T A F T E R :ROSE: D A R K :CANDLE: :CANDLE: :CANDLE: :CANDLE: :CANDLE: :CANDLE:

spigot: HANDS UP WHO WANTS TO TOUR A QUAINT SEASIDE BED & BREAKFAST & BALLS

deuce: I'M A BABBAGE MACHINE deuce: LET'S ALL LEARN ABOUT THE HISTORY OF COMPUTRYHT YEIYHBIHBGHDI spigot: ***SIGH*** deuce: T SPIGOT COME BACK SO I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT HOW JAMES BURKE HAS CHANGED MY LIFE pants: CONNECTIONSTHTH :SWEAT-DROPS:TH:SWEAT-DROPS:TH:SWEAT-DROPS:TH:SWEAT-DROPS:TH:SWEAT-DROPS: (LIMP-WRISTED)

deuce: THERE'S A BABY GROWING INSIDE ME deuce: OH, NEVER MIND, IT'S A SHIT

pants: WHO STOLE THE BABY JESUS? pants: IT WAS THERE IN MY LAWN DISPLAY!!!!!! WRAPPED IN SWADDLING CLOTHES spigot: IT'S RIGHT THERE YOU IDIOT pants: WHAT???????? WHERE??????????? spigot: I REPLACED IT WITH BABY DOG SHIT!!!!!!! pants: WELL IT IS OUR LORD AND WE SHOULD BOW BEFORE IT EVEN IF IT IS A COIL OF POO spigot: SQUIRRRRRSH pants: JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH

deuce: YOU AND ME AND BABY MAKES THREE / EXCEPT WHEN I DROWN YOU 'CAUSE THAT MAKES TWO spigot: MY MATH SAYSAFTER THEDROWNING THERE'SJUST ME

pants: T DEUCE PUTTING A BABY SHOE ON MY DONG deuce: WHY NOT A SOCK (OLD SCHOOL) pants: IT'LL FALL OFF (SMALL DICK SYNDROME) deuce: YOUR DICK IS A STOCKING STUFFER pants: TOUCHING COAL

pants: TAKE YOUR GAS MASK EVERYWHERE pants: GROW YOUR OWN FOOD pants: PUT OUT YOUR PAPER FOR SALVAGE

pants: blat spigot: figured out a way to do the fortnite dance so my dong whaps back and forth across your face

pants: PLEASE LET ME BACK BEHIND YOUR FIREWALL pants: I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL COLLECT ALL THE TENNIS BALLS AND BEER CANS WE LEFT BACK THERE pants: ALSO THE CIGARETTE BUTTS, COFFEE CUPS, BOTTLE CAPS, CONDOMS, CLOCKS THAT TICKED TOO LOUD, POST-IT NOTES THAT SAY "FAGGOT", ETC., ETC.

spigot: I HOPE THE DALAI LAMA LETS BUTTMAN BACK IN BUDAPEST

pants: T DEUCE SHOULD I GO BACK IN TIME THEN deuce: YES pants: URK MORLOCKS

atandt: SHALL WE GET STARTED caveman: UGH

: DEUCE BLOWS BRAINS OUT pants: STUFFING THEM BACK INTO THE PUMPKIN pants: IT'S ALIVE deuce: HLGLHGAHLGAHGA

pants: T DEUCE I DON'T LIKE YOUR NICKI MINAJ DISS TRACK (EDITED) deuce: EAT A DICK pants: SEE THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT (HANDCUFFS, WATCHING HEAD, BACK OF POLICE CAR)

pants: THEY ARE SO COMING BACK!!!!! I'M GOING TO SIT ON THE PORCH AND WAIT (CAN YOU GET ME A SWEATER I'M COLD) (ALSO A BACKRUB WOULD BE NICE) deuce: NOTHING BESIDE REMAINS pants: AND IT WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN

spigot: how about 21 pump street where i give you 21 pumps and you're back on the street

pants: T SPIGOT I'M STILL WAITING ON THE BACKRUB spigot: T PANTS THIS ISN'T WORKING PLEASE MOVE OUT

deuce: AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO STILL LOSES THEIR SHIT WHEN SOMEONE'S READING ALOUD A URL AND SAYS "BACKSLASH"

spigot: OKAY PEOPLE JUST STEPPING OUTSIDE spigot: NOT GOING ANYWHERE GAY spigot: BACK SOON

spigot: ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H I CAN'T BACK UP BEING GAY spigot: ^H^H^H^H^H^H NOBODY MUST FIND OUT spigot: ^H^H^H^H^H^H PERMANENT RECORD HUHHGHBHGHBLHGLUBH ^H^H^H^H^H^H DESPERATE HERE

hanford: WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR ME TODAY pants: OKAY OKAY UH hanford: SIGH pants: HOW ABOUT I SING A RADIOHEAD SONG hanford: AND pants: AND WE TITLE IT "KID J" hanford: THAT JUST SUCKS pants: BUT I hanford: NO REALLY, THAT'S JUST LAME pants: MY GRANDFATHER USED TO DRAW JERKCITY ??? hanford: WHAT pants: I MEAN UH LET ME GET BACK TO YOU hanford: LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH hanford: SURELY I DESERVE BETTER THAN BACKSTAGE AT A WEB COMIC

deuce: ADULTERATE ME (NOT THIS AGAIN) pants: NO NO GO AHEAD pants: LOOSENING SWEATS

spigot: WEARING MY WORK BADGE ON MY PAJAMA BOTTOMS AND SWIPING INTO MY BATHROOM spigot: IT'S HOW WE GET BACK TO NORMAL

pants: BE GAY WITH ME deuce: I WILL SIMPLY **NOT** PUT UP WITH THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR pants: YOU PROMISED OVERTIME, EXTRA CHOCOLATE deuce: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LICK OR IT'S BACK TO TAIWAN WITH YOU pants: I WANT AN EXTRA MINT ON MY PILLOW

deuce: DICKS = ['8=D ', '8=D~ ', '8=D~~ ', '8=D~~~ ', '8==D ', '8==D~ ', '8==D~~ ', '8==D~~~ ', '8===D ', '8===D~ ', '8===D~~ ', '8===D~~~ ', '8====D ', '8====D~ ', '8====D~~ ', '8====D~~~ ', '8=====D ', '8=====D~ ', '8=====D~~ ', '8=====D~~~ ', '8======D ', '8======D~ ', '8======D~~ ', '8======D~~~ ', '8=======D ', '8=======D~ ', '8=======D~~ ', '8=======D~~~ ', '8========D ', '8========D~ ', '8========D~~ ', '8========D~~~ ', '8=========D ', '8=========D~ ', '8=========D~~ ', '8=========D~~~ ', '8==========D ', '8==========D~ ', '8==========D~~ ', '8==========D~~~ ', '8===========D ', '8===========D~ ', '8===========D~~ ', '8===========D~~~ ', '8============D ', '8============D~ ', '8============D~~ ', '8============D~~~ ', '8@=D ', '8@=D~ ', '8@=D~~ ', '8@=D~~~ ', '8@==D ', '8@==D~ ', '8@==D~~ ', '8@==D~~~ ', '8@===D ', '8@===D~ ', '8@===D~~ ', '8@===D~~~ ', '8@====D ', '8@====D~ ', '8@====D~~ ', '8@====D~~~ ', '8@=====D ', '8@=====D~ ', '8@=====D~~ ', '8@=====D~~~ ', '8@======D ', '8@======D~ ', '8@======D~~ ', '8@======D~~~ ', '8@=======D ', '8@=======D~ ', '8@=======D~~ ', '8@=======D~~~ ', '8@========D ', '8@========D~ ', '8@========D~~ ', '8@========D~~~ ', '8@=========D ', '8@=========D~ ', '8@=========D~~ ', '8@=========D~~~ ', '8@==========D ', '8@==========D~ ', '8@==========D~~ ', '8@==========D~~~ ', '8@===========D ', '8@===========D~ ', '8@===========D~~ ', '8@===========D~~~ ', '8@============D ', '8@============D~ ', '8@============D~~ ', '8@============D~~~ ']

spigot: THREE FUCKING CHEERS FOR MY FAT SELF spigot: I JUST ATE A WHOLE PUMPKIN PIE IN THE LIVING ROOM spigot: I AM SERIOUSLY LIKE AN OCTOPUS AT A BONER BUFFET spigot: I'M GOING TO BE BACKED UP TILL FRIDAY spigot: JUST BECAUSE IT'S IN UPPERCASE DOESN'T MEAN I'M NOT GAY

net: "TITILLATING" deuce: WHEN YOU SAY THAT WORD I GET GOOSEBUMPS net: WHAT ABOUT "COCKSUCKING" deuce: NOPE THAT ONE DOESN'T DO IT FOR ME net: "RIMJOB" deuce: THAT ONE SCARES ME net: "BACKRUB" net: GETTING CREEPIER deuce: I ALREADY BEGAN RAPING YOU BEFORE YOU FINISHED TYPING THAT ONE (SO VERY HOT) net: IT'S NOT RAPE IF I DON'T STRUGGLE deuce: THAT'S FOR THE COURTS TO DECIDE MISTER net: WELL LET'S GET THE WHOLE THING ON VIDEOTAPE AS EVIDENCE deuce: IN JERKCITY STRIP FORM

deuce: A BACKWHAT spigot: AGAIN: I DON'T THINK THIS IS A BACKSIDE CACHE

deuce: I HAVE TOO MUCH PORN net: I THINK YOU HAVE IT BACKWARDS SIR

spigot: I'M WEARING A FUCKING TIE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD spigot: I'M GOING BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS IN TIME spigot: BLUH HUH GARGLING AWAY IN THE TARDIS

spigot: jean-charles you have fallen backwards into the artwork pants: literally bailey jay'd

deuce: ? BACON CHEESEBURGER (BURGERS) ? ADD EXTRA PATTY (+ 300 CALORIES) ? A-1 SAUCE (+15 CALORIES) ? EXTRA BACON (+ 80 CALORIES) ? EXTRA CHEESE (+ 140 CALORIES) ? LETTUCE (+5 CALORIES), REGULAR ? MUSTARD (+ 0 CALORIES), EXTRA ? ONIONS (+10 CALORIES), REGULAR

deuce: I JUST WANT TO BE HELD, MAYBE SHAKEN VIGOROUSLY LIKE A BAD BABY SO IT SCRAMBLES MY BRAINS

deuce: HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH (SHAKEN NOT STIRRED) spigot: WHEN YOU MAKE THAT NOISE I THINK: spigot: (A) HE IS BEING MEAN TO ME spigot: AND spigot: (B) I CAN MAKE THAT NOISE AS WELL spigot: WITH FAT PRICKS IN MY MOUTH/HEAD

spigot: YOU MIGHT SAY I'M THE****** BAD BOY ******OF DICKLICKING spigot: IN THAT I AM BAD AT IT deuce: #DISBELIEF #DENIAL #GUILT #ANGER #BARGAINING #DEPRESSION #ACCEPTANCE

deuce: NOW THAT WAS A POO TO BE RECKONED WITH !!! deuce: HIGH SMEAR QUOTIENT deuce: CRAM POTENTIAL spigot: YES BUT THEY ARE NOT THE VIDEOS I ***ORDERED***

deuce: YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL AREN'T YOU pants: MAN I WISH I HAD A CORK

deuce: WARNING: BAD SYNTAX, PERHAPS A BOGUS '-'? SEE /USR/SHARE/DOC/PROCPS-3.2.8/FAQ deuce: I STILL HATE YOU

spigot: T PANTS I'M HAVING A BAD TRIP pants: T SPIGOT I STEPPED ON ANOTHER BUNNY HELP ME BURY IT

pants: WHAT PAGE ARE WE ON pants: HOW DID I GET HERE pants: COULD I PLEASE HAVE A SANDWICH, A COLA pants: WHY IS THE MAN KEEPING ME DOWN pants: WHY IS THE MAN KEEPING ME DOWN IN HIS LAP pants: I SAID pants: SIR pants: OH FORGET IT AHLUGUAL HUALUBGUH AGBUALUH

effigy: T DEUCE IS THERE THAT MUCH CASH IN THE BAIL FUND??? deuce: WHAT'S THE CHARGE effigy: THE CHARGE WAS BAD MONKEY effigy: X15 effigy: SO, 15 COUNTS deuce: ALSO I DON'T GIVE A SHIT

spigot: PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR.......... SPIGOT!!!!!!!!!!! pants: I HOPE YOU BROUGHT A BAKED POTATO FOR EVERYBODY spigot: UH spigot: THESE PORN TAPES????? pants: YAY

pants: ?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?1/I`Y2095Y205Y!!!?!?!?! (deuce): HYPERVENTILATES pants: YOU CAN TELL WHERE I BROKE DOWN IN THERE deuce: IT WAS BETWEEN THE / AND THE I pants: MOST OF THE NUMBERS REPRESENT CRYING

pants: BALL-SQUEEZING SEXUAL SADISTS effigy: OH, YA pants: I'LL BE SURE TO READ YOUR BLOG EVERY DAY effigy: THERE IS NO BLOG IN MY CONTRACT

spigot: CAN I MAKE BALLOON ANIMALS pants: TRY NOT TO SQUEAK pants: WE'RE WATCHING HIGHLANDER THE SERIES spigot: PUTTING THE LAN AND THE WAN IN USER WIN BIN OR WHATEVER

spigot: DOING NEWTON'S CRADLE WITH MY OWN BALLS deuce: YOUR TESTICLES HAVE AN IMPRESSIVE COEFFICIENT OF RESTITUTION

deuce: T SPIGOT I SHAVED MY BALLS spigot: FOR A JOB INTERVIEW???????

spigot: FOLKS CAN WE PLEASE NEVER SPELL IT "BOLOGNA" spigot: IT'S BALONEY

pants: does your office have those fancy toilets that automatically flush for you spigot: they do and they all have bidets which i kindly crank up to the coldest temps and the strongest jets pants: do you also have that problem where you're inspecting your poo and the thing rudely flushes into your face spigot: oops-dropped-my-phone is more of a problem when it falls into the sink because that faucet-auto-on happens immediately pants: sometimes i'll be kneeing in front of the bowl looking over the contents when bam auto-flush deuce: t pants permission to lick dick

deuce: BUTTHOLE + BANANA = BUTTHOLE WITH A BANANA deuce: THESE ARE FACTS

pants: GIVE ME ROOT (OR A BANANA NUT BREAD) spigot: NOT PARTICULAR HERE PEOPLE JUST AN EXTRA SQUIRT OF BUTTER SPRAY spigot: ONE TWO THREE spigot: YOU'RE GAY AND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU BACK THERE ARE ALSO GAY spigot: HOW MANY STRANGE MEN CALLED YOU LAST NIGHT spigot: WELL ZERO TIMES ANY OTHER NUMBER ALWAYS EQUALS FAGGOT pants: WAIT I pants: SPUTTER pants: ALL RIGHT FINE JUST A SLICE OF THE ZUCCINI BREAD

pants: SHY AWAY FROM MY BANANA-SHAPED (AND BANANA-COLORED) BONER pants: :BANANA: pants: PEELING IT: THE WORST THING YOU COULD HAVE DONE deuce: I REGRET NOTHING

spigot: LET'S CHOKE DOWN THEIR DONGS AND WEAR STUPID EXPENSIVE NORDSTROM CLOTHES AND EAT BANANA YOGURT spigot: WELL I TRIED THERE

pants: WARNING: THIS TEST IS VERY BANDWIDTH INTENSIVE. deuce: KYS pants: FREEZE ME, DROP ME FROM A HEIGHT, PICK UP SOME OF THE SCATTERED CHUNKS, ADD A SMALL AMOUNT TO YOUR WHISKEY pants: CHRIST M'LORD

spigot: WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO BE BANE

pants: HAPPY FAG DAY EVERYBODY!!!!!! deuce: IS IT A NATIONAL OR BANK HOLIDAY pants: CANADIAN

spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO SHIT ON THE FLOOR OF SHOE PAVILION deuce: WILL THEY BE SHOE-SIZED OR SHOE-SHAPED spigot: NEVERMIND THEY WENT BANKRUPT IN 2008 AND LIQUIDATED ALL THEIR RETAIL ASSETS AT AUCTION spigot: SOMEONE SHOULD LET ME OUT THEN

pants: HELP ME OUT HERE COS I'M CONFUSED AGAIN (YET, STILL, CONTINUOUSLY) spigot: STATE YOUR PROBLEM pants: I HAVE BEEN BANNED FROM THE DICK PIT spigot: HMM spigot: AREN'T YOU THEIR BIGGEST CUSTOMER pants: AYE (SEAN CONNERY VOICE) spigot: IN FACT AREN'T YOU THEIR DISTRIBUTOR AND MARKETING DEPARTMENT pants: THAT'S RIGHT LAD spigot: IN FACT AREN'T YOU THE OWNER AND ONLY REGULAR CUSTOMER pants: UH I spigot: HOW CAN YOU BE BANNED FROM YOUR OWN LIVING ROOM pants: LET ME DESCRIBE A UNIQUE FORM OF EMBEZZLEMENT spigot: HUHHHH