spigot: T PANTS: REMIND ME OF SOME OF OZONE'S PIG PROBLEMS spigot: THEY GET THROUGH A FENCE, THEN THEY DO WHAT pants: THEY EAT HIS PINEAPPLES (BARELY KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE)

spigot: I CANNOT DONG AND CHONG ALONE HERE pants: I WILL BONG AND FONG WITH YOU spigot: I CONSIDER THAT A VICTORY pants: IT IS TRULY A DESIGN WIN

atandt: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE pants: THE BACK DOOR WAS BARELY LOCKED !!! CAN I HAVE CHANGE FOR THE BUS

pants: ARE YOU OKAY (BARELY LOOKING UP) spigot: MY MOSE AN MOUTH

pants: BARELY LOOKING UP FROM THE CURRENT CROP OF COCKS

dick: urgh pants: barely making it to the toilet, making a huge mess anyway

spigot: A MURDER AT THE END OF MY PATIENCE pants: FOUND: PLUMPERS PASS, ON SIDE OF ROAD, LEFT WITH LOCAL PD spigot: DO WE KNOW HOW MANY PLUMPER POINTS ARE ON IT

spigot: I'M READY FOR MY NEXT BARELY LEGAL ANY FUCKING DAY NOW spigot: WONDERING EXACTLY HOW HARD IT CAN BE TO GRAB SOME RUNAWAY OFF THE STREET AND BEND HER IN VARIOUS POSES AND SLAP IT AROUND THE SAME 50 PAGES OF PHONE SEX ADS THAT HAVE BEEN RUNNING SINCE 1982 spigot: IT SHOULD BE BARELY WEEKLY pants: CURSE YOU LARRY FLYNT PRODUCTIONS

pants: BARF ON MY COCK pants: YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO pants: GRUNT DUH HOOOOOOOOOO

deuce: MY CAT BARFED SO HARD HIS HEAD ROTATED AROUND

spigot: T DEUCE YOU DON'T SEEM PARTICULARLY OBSESSED WITH ANY OF THE NEW FALL SWEATERS AT ROSS DRESS FOR LESS deuce: I JUST WEAR MUMUS

pants: BARK pants: BARK BARK pants: BARK BARK BARK BARK pants: BARK BARK BARK pants: BARK BARK pants: BARK BARK BARK pants: BARK BARK BARK BARK pants: SHUT UP

spigot: BJ POWER AND ASSOCIATES pants: TIE, SUIT, SLICKED-BACK HAIR spigot: T PANTS YOU'RE ON SPEAKER pants: CINCHES UP BATHROBE TIE, BARNEY FIFE SNIFF pants: I GOT THIS spigot: BOOOOOOOOOOP BOOOOP LONG LOUD TOUCHTONES FOR AN HOUR

pants: T SPIGOT HOW MANY TIMES A DAY ON AVERAGE DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT VERSACE SHIRT FROM _THE COUNSELOR_ (FOR ME IT'S ABOUT EVERY 5-10 SECONDS) deuce: GAY

deuce: you know what's great about baseball???? all the players eventually die

deuce: QUEER FOR ABUSE deuce: I THINK I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS pants: I DON'T THINK YOU DO pants: BASED ON MY EXPERIENCE WITH YOUR BONER

pants: BASH ME AND BASH ME AND BASH ME spigot: I HAVEN'T SEEN IT IN A BOX spigot: I HAVEN'T SEEN IT SUCKING COCKS

spigot: bash my face / with a dog food can

pants: DEPRECATION: Python 2.7 will reach the end of its life on January 1st, 2020. Please upgrade your Python as Python 2.7 won't be maintained after that date. pants: drown all nerds is what my bumper sticker will say pants: bash the fash, all cops are bastards, bring back the guillotine, why did i find my dungeon master's guide smeared with coffee grounds in the trash

: 978-0-9789941-9-8 deuce: I'M BASHING YOUR NUTS WITH A 2X4 pants: MOSTLY THE 2 deuce: CAN'T I JUST JERK OFF TO IT pants: I UH

spigot: WHY ARE YOU BASHING MY HEAD/HAIR AGAINST THE WINDSHIELD OF MY NEWLY LEASED VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE?!?!?!?!?!?!

pants: BASIL FED SNAILS ROASTED IN THE HEARTH OVEN, PERNOD BUTTER 13 deuce: BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED BASIL FED

ozone: DISORIENTED, I WOKE UP IN A STRANGE PLACE deuce: THAT'S WHEN THE BATS CAME ozone: FORTUNATELY I GOT A RIDE BACK TO MY HOUSE I HADN'T REALLY FIGURED THAT PART OUT deuce: THE BAT PROBLEM ozone: WHAT PORT DO THE BATS LISTEN ON deuce: THE BAT PORT

spigot: BATHROOM CAULKING deuce: (SQUINT) DID YOU SPELL THAT WORD RIGHT

pants: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BATHROOM PATROL pants: AND YOU ARE NOT OFFICER DONGALONG pants: BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I AM WILLING TO BE ARRESTED, CHAINED SOMEWHERE spigot: SO YOU HAVE KIDNAPPED ME spigot: INSTRUCTED ME TO TAKE THE DOLLARS THAT GET POKED THROUGH THE HOLE IN THE WALL... spigot: ...AND HAND THEM SMALL BAGS OF CRACK COCAINE?!?!? spigot: AND I AM HANDCUFFED TO THIS HOT WATER HEATER PIPE?????? spigot: DO I GET A BREAK ANYTIME SOON?!?!?!!? SIR WITH THE GHETTO BLASTER AND RAP CD'S

spigot: NOT THE FACE spigot: OH THAT'S JUST GREAT pants: NOW I'LL HAVE TO WEAR A SCARF pants: FELL DOWN THE BASEMENT STEPS AGAIN spigot: NAPKIN pants: FELL IN THE BATHTUB deuce: EAT THAT pants: FELL IN THE BACKYARD spigot: I RAN INTO A DOOR AND THERE BEHIND THE DOOR WAS YES, A COCK pants: OKAY GOT THE CRAP BEATEN OUT OF ME TOO pants: NOT BY A TROLL AS I SAID IN THE FIRST DRAFT OF MY STATEMENT

pants: PAC MAN spigot: DANA NANA NANA NANA NA - PAC MAN spigot: WAIT spigot: BATMAN I MEAN pants: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT deuce: LOOK I LEAVE FOR FIVE SECONDS AND LOOK WHAT YOU TWO HAVE DONE

spigot: WE MEET AGAIN, (((( BATMAN ))) deuce: SIGH spigot: SPLURK :SWEAT_DROPS:SPLORK :SWEAT_DROPS:SPLUT :SWEAT_DROPS: spigot: BLURK :SWEAT_DROPS: :SWEAT_DROPS: BLORK :SWEAT_DROPS: :SWEAT_DROPS: BLUP :SWEAT_DROPS: HNGGG :SWEAT_DROPS: deuce: OKAY ENOUGH spigot: :SWEAT_DROPS: BLLLLK :SWEAT_DROPS: :SWEAT_DROPS: HURRKRK :SWEAT_DROPS: GLTH :SWEAT_DROPS:PLTH :SWEAT_DROPS: THTH :SWEAT_DROPS: :SWEAT_DROPS: GLKL :SWEAT_DROPS: GKGLK :SWEAT_DROPS: BLGLL :SWEAT_DROPS: HBLGH :SWEAT_DROPS: :SWEAT_DROPS: A-PTHTHTH :SWEAT_DROPS: :SWEAT_DROPS: HURGLB :SWEAT_DROPS: LKBPTH :SWEAT_DROPS: deuce: THE FUCK ARE YOU spigot: THE JERKER

spigot: I BLACKED OUT!!!!!! spigot: IT'S GOT TO BE ON VIDEOTAPE SOMEWHERE spigot: [BATT LOW] spigot: OKAY I'M DONE

spigot: LICK DICK OLD BEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: TUT TUT OLD BOY pants: HLGAHGLAG spigot: HURMPH SIR YOU ARE BLOCKING BBC1 AND BBC2

spigot: T DEUCE I SAW YOUR POST ON REDDIT RE: HOW TOM BYRON'S CUMBACK PUSSY IS MORE LIKE TOM BYRON'S SENDBACK PUSSY deuce: FABRICATIONS deuce: SHENANIGANS deuce: SLANDER spigot: IF YOU LIKE LADIES, YOU'LL LOVE WHEN I LADIES NUTS ON YOUR FAT STUPID FACE pants: WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL SMOKES MARIJUANA AT HIS OWN CONFIRMATION

atandt: DON'T BE STUPID atandt: BE A SMARTY atandt: WON'T YOU JOIN atandt: THE NAZI PARTY atandt: BURMA SHAME pants: DOES IT REALLY SAY THAT

pants: BE FAT WITH ME deuce: I DO NOT THINK THAT IS AN ACTIVITY WE CAN SHARE ??? deuce: HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP deuce: WRONG AGAIN

pants: KILL 'EM ALL AND LET ME SORT IT OUT (I'M REALLY GOOD AT SORTING OUT STUFF)

pants: BE GAY WITH ME/US/THEM deuce: CAN WE ????? DO YOU THINK ???????? spigot: I WOULD LIKE THIS EVENT TO BE BETTER ORGANIZED IN THE FUTURE

spigot: WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH: MY PENIS OR A PANERA BREAD CIABATTA DIPPER

pants: DO THESE FISHNETS MAKE ME LOOK EASY

pants: I'M A FARTBAG ON THE LOOSE pants: BE MINDFUL OF ME spigot: REDDIT POST PROVES NEW SAMSUNG PHONE IS A PHONE MADE BY SAMSUNG pants: THE UNIVERSITY OF COCKSUCKING, MINNESOTA deuce: IT'S STATE-RUN BUT IT'S PRETTY GOOD

spigot: BE MORE OF A FAG TO ME deuce: I AM ALL FAGGED OUT deuce: I WILL HAVE TO BE STRAIGHT FOR TWENTY MINUTES WHILE MY FAG BATTERIES (FAGGERIES) RECHARGE pants: I AM JUST GETTING STARTED HOWEVER

pants: THOSE THREE LITTLE WORDS: BE MY BLOG atandt: I WILL BE YOUR BLOG pants: HERE WE GO: WOKE UP AT 5PM, HIGH BY 9PM pants: ARE YOU GETTING ALL THIS atandt: SCRIBBLES FURIOUSLY pants: YOU CAN COPY AND PASTE FOR YESTERDAY TOO (IF YOU WANT)

pants: T DEUCE BE MY BUTTERCUP pants: HELLO pants: HELLOOOO deuce: SORRY WE SEEM TO HAVE BEEN DISCONNECTED

pants: PRE-RETAIL, IMPROPER FRAMERATE, HARDCODED SUBTITLES pants: AHEM EXCUSE ME BUT HTTPS://GOO.GL/MAPS/46K4T7JJSRD2 deuce: THAT'S AN AMERICAN TREASURE pants: BLESSED BE deuce: BALLS DEEP

deuce: IS IT NORMAL TO WAKE UP SINGING "BEAT IT" LIKE A CHICKEN deuce: BUK BUK BUK BUKBUK BUK BUK BUK BUK deuce: BUK BUK BUK BUKBUK BUK BUK BUK BUK / BUK BUKBUK deuce: BUK BUKBUK

spigot: CATCH THE MONKEY AND WIN $20 spigot: NEXT FIVE SITES spigot: LET THE GAYNESS BEGIN

pants: beat me off tonight (let's say 6pm) deuce: just before your bedtime

pants: WHERE CAN WE GO TO PROTEST NOISILY ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE pants: I AM THINKING THAT POTSTICKER PLACE NEAR HIGH STREET pants: A QUIET DEMONSTRATION INVOLVING SITTING STILL, EATING spigot: I HEREBY SMOKE THIS DOPE AND BEAT OFF TO THESE GIFS TO PROTEST THE UNITED STATES BEING KING OF THE WORLD

pants: WE'LL LICK DICK UNDERWATER UNTIL SUNSET pants: WHY DON'T YOU UH TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF deuce: AT LEAST BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME SEVERELY pants: GET COMFORTABLE

deuce: GO TO BED pants: B-BUT deuce: I SAID pants: C'MON deuce: I SAID I DON'T WANNA HEAR NO MORE FAGGOT SHIT deuce: YOU GO BACK TO BED AND YOU DO IT GOOD SON pants: B-BUT MUPPETS ARE GOING TO EAT MY FACE AND MAYPOLE DANCE WITH MY INTESTINES deuce: BEAT THOSE MUPPETS OFF THEN pants: THEY HAVE TASTED BLOOD deuce: QUENCH THEIR FIRST AND BEAT THEM OFF pants: I WILL

:pants: THE ONE WITH 8 OR 9 EYES, NOT SHOWN IN THIS EPISODE --ED. deuce: T SPIGOT I HAVE PROOF THAT PANTS AND ATANDT ARE KISSING LATE AT NIGHT spigot: I WOULD BE INTERESTED IN BEATING OFF TO THIS PROOF

spigot: FUCKING CLOSE THE DOOR spigot: STUPID ASS JERKOFF I'M BEATING OFF IN HERE DIPSHIT GET OUT spigot: GET THE FUCK OUT spigot: PUT THE COFFEE ON THE FUCKING DESK

pants: JERKING OFF JESUS ON THE CROSS deuce: HE'S ALREADY DEAD DUDE deuce: YOU'RE BEATING OFF A DEAD MAN deuce: YOU DON'T GET CREDIT FOR THAT pants: HE WAS FINE A MINUTE AGO

pants: "MACY'S CONDEMNS THIS TYPE OF IMPROPER BEHAVIOR AND DOES EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO PREVENT IT. WHEN ANY ASSOCIATE OR CUSTOMER WITNESSES INCIDENTS SUCH AS THIS, WE URGE THEM TO REPORT IT TO STORE MANAGEMENT SO THAT WE CAN TAKE THE APPROPRIATE ACTION, INCLUDING ALERTING LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT." deuce: AHLGHALUGHUALGHLAG pants: HALGHALUGHALGHALG deuce: DID YOU BEAT OFF THERE AGAIN pants: BALGHLAGBLUAHGLAG

pants: BEATING OFF IN THE MUSEUM OF DEATH pants: COULD I HAVE PICKED A STICKIER, MORE SWEET-SMELLING DRINK TO SPILL ALL OVER CREATION HERE pants: NO, I THINK NOT

spigot: who's been beating off on the moon deuce: mcdonalds

spigot: (AHEM) spigot: LET ME BE CLEAR ABOUT WHY I BEAT OFF THE CANCER PATIENT spigot: HE WAS GOING TO DIE ANYWAY

spigot: BEATING OFF TOGETHER / FAGGISHLY pants: DUNGEONS **AND** DRAGONS ?!?!?!?!? pants: HOLD ALL MY CALLS I'M GAY IN THE FACE pants: DUNK TANK BWAHHHH spigot: DID I DIAL 415

pants: BEATING OFF UPSIDE DOWN pants: IN SPACE ???? OR IN THE CLOSET deuce: SHUT UP AND BEAT OFF pants: THAT'S IT deuce: NOW BEAT OFF AGAIN

deuce: IF I JERK OFF IN THIS CUP WILL IT SAVE THE LITTLE SQUIGGLIES pants: ARE YOU A GOOD PERSON deuce: I'M GOOD SOMETIMES pants: THEN THE SQUIGGLIES WILL STAY WITH YOU FOREVER AND EVER deuce: THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD (BEATING OFF WITH SANDPAPER)

pants: am i beatoff material deuce: you're in the running, you're a contender pants: so there's a chance pants: let me re-phrase: am i jackoff material deuce: THE ANSWER STANDS

spigot: workin' on my brand spigot: loud beatoff sounds and faggoty horn honks

spigot: GAY INDIANS BUILT THEIR STALLS OUT OF STICKS AND CLAY spigot: OUR MODERN TOILETS AND POKEY PRICKS AND TAPPING RITUALS WOULD SURELY CONFUSE AND FRIGHTEN THEM spigot: NOTE TO THE GAY INDIANS: I TAKE U.S. DOLLARS, NOT WAMPUM

spigot: CRYSTAL RAY ***AND*** LAUREN PHOENIX?????????? deuce: LAUREN PHOENIX AND HER DEEP DUMB VOICE spigot: T DEUCE YOU TAKE THAT BACK (STOPPING MID BEATOFF) deuce: HEY IT'S BEATOFFABLE I'M JUST SAYIN' IS ALL spigot: AS LONG AS WE'RE IN AGREEMENT THAT LINDSAY MEADOWS NEEDS MAKEUP

deuce: I'M A BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL GIRL deuce: THOUGH NOT YET A WOMAN deuce: OW OW OW THESE COALS ARE HOT

deuce: THROWING ROCKS, STONES pants: I AM A SINNER pants: IN MY DREAMS I'M A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY deuce: TRYING TO BLOCK YOUR PROGRESS INTO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN pants: IN REAL LIFE I'M AN UNDER-THE-OVERPASS COCKSUCKER deuce: REPENT FATSO

pants: DO ALL DOCTORS HAVE PRESCRIPTION PADS pants: WHAT ABOUT FRIENDS WHO WE THINK ARE DOCTORS pants: WILL SAFEWAY GIVE ME PILLS pants: A BEAUTIFUL HAIKU

deuce: PEER DEEP INTO MY EYES pants: I MUST LEAN IN CLOSE IF I AM TO DO THAT !!!! EXCITED, DROOLING

spigot: COME FLY WITH ME / COME FLY / LET'S / DUNK MY HEAD INTO THE TOILET deuce: I DO NOT LIKE THIS SONG spigot: DA DOO DOOT / DA DOO DOOT pants: I DO LIKE THIS SONG VERY MUCH pants: WELL I DO spigot: IT'S A TIE

spigot: I HEAR BEAUTIFUL MUSIC COMING FROM STALL 2 spigot: HOPE IT'S NOT A TRAP

deuce: DRINKING MIKE'S HARD LEMONADE, ETC. BECAUSE I AM A MAN deuce: AND THAT'S WHAT MEN DRINK: FAGGOTY DRINKS THAT UNDERAGE GIRLS DRINK deuce: I MEAN deuce: CONTRADICTION FOUND, SULLEN

pants: WHY DO I HAVE TO CALL YOU GNU/DEUCE FROM NOW ON deuce: BECAUSE (TIGHTENING NOOSE)

spigot: if you show an unlicked dick in act one it better not be licked by act three because it's sunday and the bus only runs once an hour so i won't be there until act four thirty

spigot: YOU'RE RAPING ME BECAUSE OF MY BAD ATTITUDE spigot: AND YOU'RE RIGHT TO DO SO

deuce: AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE WHERE PANTS IS BLIND AND I'M DEAF AND WE LIVE TOGETHER AND JUST JERK EACH OTHER OFF BECAUSE WHY NOT pants: AS A TRANS PERSON OF COLOR,

spigot: I'VE GOT TWO BIG BONERS AND A MICROPHONE

pants: CAN'T WAIT FOR THE QUEER XMAS JOKES TO START atandt: T PANTS LET US WORK ON OUR THANKSGIVING COMEDY BITS spigot: I'VE GOT SOME SERIOUS GAGS LINED UP FOR NEW YEAR'S (CHAMPAGNE CORKS AND WHAT NOT) pants: MY MOUTH SHE IS FOR DICKS spigot: HOW ABOUT YOU BE THE )(B*$:)( *EG AND I BE THE F)(*DV:#JDFLS atandt: MOOOOOOOOO atandt: SERIOUSLY WORRIED ABOUT THE QUALITY OF DICK pants: TELL ME MORE AS I AM INTRIGUED AND AROUSED spigot: )(B*$:)( *EG

spigot: SO IN LIKE 1 HOUR IT'LL BE NOON AND THEN A COUPLE HOURS LATER IT'LL BE BEDTIME SO WHY THE FUCK IS THERE EVEN LIFE ON EARTH

spigot: welps time to once again turn off the lights and get comfy in bed and close my eyes and let police interrogations on youtube lull me to sleep

deuce: :BEE: spigot: A ALWAYS B BEE C BEE pants: FULLY PLAYING WITH HIMSELF

deuce: T BONEQUEST I HAVE BEEN DRINKING deuce: T BONEQUEST HELLO deuce: T BONEQUEST WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER ME pants: WHAT A FUCKING PRICK

spigot: toon in each monday!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: sorry no toon in three years, been super busy!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: http 404 mondaytoons

spigot: CLICK HERE TO SIGN MY GUESTBOO</HREF> deuce: FUCK YOU spigot: BEENZ!!!!!!!!!! THE WEB'S CURRENCY deuce: THE MORE YOU EAT / THE MLG KFSHLG LSGHSLG HLSHGSG spigot: EVERYTHING I TOUCH TURNS INTO BEENZ deuce: BEENZ BEENZ / THEY MAKE YOU FSHLGLS GHSLGHLS HGSG spigot: TIME TO KICK IT AND STREAM THESE BEENZ BROADBAND STYLE deuce: POUND MY ASS spigot: BEENZ.COM PURCHASES MACROMEDIA FOR RECORD TEN BILLION BEENZ

net: BEEP net: I'M AN AMI BIOS deuce: I'M FUCKING YOU BROADSIDE net: KEYBOARD ERROR

pants: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP pants: SOME MANNER OF DICK-LOVING DUMPTRUCK I AM pants: ^C spigot: I'LL CATCH YOU

pants: DOWN I GO deuce: [BEEP BEEP BEEP OF LOWERING PLATFORM] deuce: OKAY NOW YOU'RE AT THE SUCKING LEVEL

spigot: instead of robots there should be blowbots spigot: beep boop beep boop spigot: malfunction spigot: erectile malfunction spigot: bzzt spigot: please insert ten thousand dollars spigot: folks the blowbots are taking our blowjobs

deuce: `RECOMPUTING COURSE` deuce: `COURSE PLOTTED` deuce: `HEADED DIRECTLY FOR PISS FOUNTAIN`

spigot: I PUT SCALLOPED POTATOES IN THE DISK DRIVE

spigot: BEEP BOOP BOOP spigot: HELLO YES I ORDERED A ***PROSTITUTE*** NOT A ***POETESS*** spigot: YOU'RE FIRED

spigot: LET'S SING OR SOMETHING spigot: ONLY THREE MORE HOURS TO BEER AND A NAP spigot: LET'S NOT ALWAYS SEE THE SAME DICKS

deuce: OKAY BEER TIME deuce: BE BACK GUYS !!!!!!!!!! deuce: I MEAN GAYS

pants: BEETLEDEUCE BEETLEDEUCE BEETLEDEUCE deuce: WHAT pants: YOU SUCK

spigot: BEFORE I HAVE SEX I PREPARE THE INSTALLSHIELD WIZARD

atandt: I HAD AIDS BEFORE IT WAS COOL

spigot: DO WE THINK THE SHOOTER WAS AT ALL AFFLICTED BY N.A.D.D.

: This little fellow is known round these parts as Spigot The Bear. He's not a real bear, though. SPIGOT: THERE'S MORE TO ACROBAT THAN JUST THE READER SPIGOT: %PDF()$$)$*%BEGINGAYSPURT-------->

deuce: FOR GOD'S SAKE THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF GAYNESS WHILE I WAS GONE pants: QUITE A BIT IN FACT (WIPES CHIN)