deuce: I'M A TWAT net: T DEUCE ARE YOU A BRITISH TWAT OR AN AMERICAN TWAT deuce: T NET DON'T BE RACIST

atandt: PERHAPS BONGHITS WILL FIX MY BROKEN LINKS atandt: HOW DID YOU GET PAST THE GUARDS pants: I'LL TELL YOU TOMORROW (GOLDEN AGE SANDMAN STARRING PANTS)

pants: MAYBE WE COULD POP YOU UP THERE FOR THE DAY pants: CLEAN THE WHOLE FUCKING PLACE UP pants: MAKE IT NICE FOR OUR SHUTTLE PILOTS deuce: I'M UP FOR THAT deuce: I CAN BREATHE IN SPACE BY THE WAY pants: EXCELLENT deuce: THAT'S BECAUSE I'M THE SYSTEM NINJA pants: I BET YOU MAKE NOISE TOO deuce: FLAPPITY FLAP FLAP pants: ALSO I'M A NEWS ADMIN pants: AND A LEVEL 2 VAMPYRE pants: WILL YOU GET THOSE FLAPPITY BATS OUT OF HERE deuce: GET A BROOM

net: WHAT'S BROWN AND STICKY? spigot: YOUR JOKE BOOK???????????????????

spigot: TIME FOR MY 10PM TATER TOTS

deuce: YOU ALL DESERVE A NEW MEDAL deuce: THE BROWN MEDAL deuce: (IT'S BROWN)

spigot: A LITERAL BROWNOUT

pants: PRIVACY PLEASE (BEATING OFF) pants: BRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRR RRRRRR NEED DRAMAMINE pants: BRRRRR RRR RRRRRR RRRRR OKAY DONE pants: SO HOW ARE YOUUUUUU pants: WAIT pants: OH GOD NOT AGAIN HUALGHLUAHG LUAGH LUHLHALG deuce: YOUR DRILL BIT IS FAULTY pants: THERE IT GOES AGAIN (SORRY FATHER) deuce: BRRRRRRR pants: SACRE BLEU THIS IS OUT OF HALGHULALHLAHAG CONTROL deuce: BE LESS FRENCH

spigot: ONLINE FILTERS HELP MY PARENTS DECIDE !!!! AND THEY KEEP ME SAFE !!! spigot: DAD'S BRUSHING MY MOUTH OUT WITH SOMETHING

spigot: FIRST QUESTION, DO THEY HAVE TO BE 'BRUTAL' DILDOS spigot: SECOND, DO THERE HAVE TO BE DILDOS spigot: I'M JUST SAYING WHAT-IF NOW

deuce: MY DICK REQUIRES BIOHAZARD SAFETY LEVEL 4

deuce: IF YOU OPEN YOUR PUDGY LITTLE BUBBLE LIPS AT ME ONCE MORE SO HELP ME GOD I'LL TEACH YOU WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE VIOLENTLY RAPED

pants: SORT ME deuce: T PANTS WHAT METHOD OF SORTING WOULD YOU LIKE deuce: T PANTS YOU CAN SELECT BETWEEN A MERGE SORT, SHELL SORT, QUICK SORT, OR HORRIBLE PAINFUL RAPE SORT pants: T DEUCE A BUBBLE SORT OF MY BALLS WILL DO NICELY

spigot: BOYSENBERRY FLAPJACKS AND BUTTERY BUCKWHEAT MUFFINS

atandt: WHEN I GOT TO BUDAPEST THERE WAS A BONEQUEST TACKED TO THE WALL

pants: GONNA FUCK THE MOUTH OF THE EARLIEST HUMAN FIGURE FOUND ANYWHERE IN THE BRITISH ISLES

spigot: BUFFALO GAL WON'T YOU LICK ON MY DONG / LICK ON MY DONG / LICK ON MY DONG spigot: OKAY I WILL WIDEN THE SCOPE AND SUGGEST THAT ANYONE CAN LICK MY DONG spigot: EVEN UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE??????????? YES!!!!!!!!!

atandt: THE BUFFER IS EMPTY atandt: BETTER GET STARTED: WHO IS "FOR" GAY DICK? deuce: "FOR" MEANING APPROVING OR "FOR" MEANING FORCED TO PARTAKE atandt: I'M GOING WITH BOTH atandt: GOBBLING DICK DOWN LIKE A BAGEL SANDWICH

spigot: BUFFERING spigot: 75% spigot: 90% spigot: 99% spigot: F A G

spigot: WHAT I NEED IS MORE WINE AND/OR ANOTHER GLASS OF IT spigot: [LONG PAUSE] spigot: T PANTS BUG NO. 43729 LAUGHTER SOMETIMES INAUDIBLE

deuce: JERKCITY SUCKS!!! pants: WIENER BUDDIES pants: MY BUG OUT KIT CONSISTS OF A PUNCHING FIST AND A BEATOFF MAG pants: DUCK OR COVER pants: EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE pants: BUGGER YE ALL pants: DON'T DEAD OPEN INSIDE pants: THE END IS EXTREMELY FUCKING NIGH deuce: NO WORDS pants: YOU'LL LOVE IT AT LEVITZ deuce: JESUS CHRIST SHUT UP

: We have been up here for about two days. Ahh, those fucking things, they can't, uh, deal with stairs. So we're gonna huddle up here for a while. We've got plenty of, uh, you know, stuff in cans to eat. So I think we're gonna be okay. Uhm I can hear them downstairs, knocking into shit. pants: BUGS ALL OVER ME pants: BEATING OFF ANYWAY

deuce: BUH DICKS spigot: I HEAR THAT AND RAISE YOU FOUR PRICKS deuce: BUH DICKS (NOW FIVE PRICKS TO YOU)

spigot: I WAS GOING TO COMMIT SEPPUKU BUT I ACCIDENTALLY COMMITTED BUKKAKE

pants: YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE BULLHORN MISTER spigot: T PANTS IT'S SPELLED BONER

deuce: BULLET IN YOU pants: I'M JERKING IT deuce: HURRAY

pants: LOOK AT ME THAT WAY pants: IT IS WHAT YOU THINK IT IS pants: [REDACTED] [REDACTED] LET'S GO MOTHERFUCKER atandt: WHO YA TALKIN' TO

spigot: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I'M INTERESTING spigot: *** UNKNOWN COMMAND: LICK spigot: BULLSHIT

pants: HAW HAW WE MADE HIM CRY pants: WHAT A SISSY pants: NOW LIGHT HIM ON FIRE

effigy: TODAY AIN'T SATURDAY pants: SO IT'S SUNDAY THEN?? effigy: DUNNO. JUST WOKE UP BECAUSE MY RABBIT HOLE IS FULL OF WATER pants: YA GOTTA DIG AT AN ANGLE AT THE START effigy: SHIT

deuce: BRAVO pants: I NEVER WANT TO FORGET THAT PHRASE deuce: THAT IS ONE OF THE STRANGER THINGS TO GRACE THIS BLUE-GREEN WATER WORLD BURGEONING WITH STRANGE FORMS OF LIFE deuce: ALSO I SHIT MY PANTS pants: SAME

spigot: T DEUCE YOU SAID THIS WASN'T A KISSING GAME deuce: MMMMMMMM spigot: OFF spigot: T PANTS I ACCIDENTALLY SPILLED DOPE SMOKE INTO MY MOUTH AND LUNGS TEN TIMES spigot: DIAGNOSIS: CINNAMON BUNS spigot: I'M FAT deuce: FUCK YOU

spigot: I USE A BURNER HAM RADIO SO NOBODY FINDS OUT I HELP ELDERLY OPERATORS UP THE STAIRS TO PANCAKE BREAKFASTS AT THE OAKS SHOPPING CENTER

pants: MY BALLS ARE BURNING pants: NO WAIT THAT'S YOUAND YOUR ZIPPO/BIC deuce: THE MORE YOU SQUIRM THELONGER THESE MARSHMALLOWSARE GOING TO TAKE pants: THOSE ARE MY TENDERABLES deuce: SUCKS TO YOUR ASSMAR

pants: HELLO ??? AM I LATE FOR BURNING MAN ??? IT IS COLD pants: THEY PROMISED FOUR AND TWENTY BLACKBIRDS pants: THIS IS MORE LIKE FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY BLACK DICKS ALL AT ONCE (WITHOUT REMORSE OR AN OUNCE OF POLITENESS I MIGHT ADD)

atandt: BUS ERROR, CORNDOG DUMPED spigot: PLEASE LIMIT YOUR BUGS TO THE STEPS REQUIRED TO KICK ME IN THE NUTS

: Spigot the Bear is ██████ ██████ a live studio audience ███████ suspected homosexuals███ spigot: SIR MY BUS PASS SEEMS TO HAVE EXPIRED DUE TO THE FACT THAT I CAN'T FIND IT spigot: IF I COULD PLEASE HAVE ANOTHER AND IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND DRIVING BY MCDONALDS

deuce: HERE'S A FUCKING BUS TICKET SHITHEAD pants: WELCOME TO MY CREEPY APARTMENT

spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: TAKIN' CARE / OF BUSINESS :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: spigot: :NOTES: EVERY DAY :NOTES: spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: I'M / TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: deuce: FUCKING GAY spigot: LOOKS LIKE WE'RE BOTH TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS spigot: :ICECREAM: :ICECREAM: :ICECREAM: :ICECREAM: T C B Y :ICECREAM: :ICECREAM: :ICECREAM: :ICECREAM: deuce: STANDING ON YOUR NECK UNTIL DEAD

pants: IF I'M GOING TO LAM IT, I'M GOING WITH A FUCKING PACKAGE. I'M NOT GOING TO BE LIKE FUCKING MICKEY MAZUCCO. THE POOR PRICK ONLY HAD FIVE MINUTES TO RUN. HE ENDED UP IN SOME RAT INFESTED MOTEL DOWN IN ELVIS COUNTRY spigot: WHAT IS THAT deuce: ANYWHERE THERE ARE NO JEWS OR ITALIANS spigot: I DON'T GET IT

pants: FOR THE LAST TIME I WAS NOT BEING GAY IN THERE I WAS SIMPLY PRACTICING FOR A PLAY spigot: A GLORY HOLE ?!? WHAT'S THAT ?!?!? I'VE NEVER EVER HEARD THAT TERM BEFORE atandt: HE AND I WERE JUST HUGGING AND TALKING AND HUGGING spigot: THESE GAY MAGAZINES ARE FOR AN ART PROJECT!!!!! NOT BEATING OFF TO atandt: YES I'M REALLY JUST HERE TO USE THE FACILITIES pants: I KNOW THAT'S MY NAME ON THE MAILING LABEL BUT THIS IS NOT MY ISSUE OF "HUNK" pants: AND FURTHERMORE I AM MOST CERTAINLY INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY deuce: THAT'S RIGHT FUCKO YOU'LL KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU

deuce: I SEE YOU SUCKING pants: HOLY CRAP I'M BUSTED

spigot: 9:00-9:30 THINK ABOUT YOUR DUMB CATS spigot: 9:30-10:00 WISH I COULD DRINK BEER WITH YOU IN A GAY PART OF TOWN deuce: T SPIGOT AT 9:45 YOU CAN USUALLY SEE ME SUCKING DICKS IN THE FOYER

pants: NORMALLY I WOULDN'T GO OUT INTO THE WOODS AND SHOVE MY HAND INTO HOLES I FIND BUT

spigot: BUT I WAS DRAGGING HIM TO THE HOSPITAL??????????

deuce: I WOULD JERK OFF TO ALLEVIATE MY SORROWS BUT ALAS IT IS TOO HOT deuce: SO INSTEAD I WILL COMMIT SUICIDE deuce: OH WHO AM I KIDDING IT IS EVEN TOO HOT FOR THAT

spigot: sucking ten dicks but also thinking this could have been an email

pants: i beat off nightly spigot: do you tho pants: i do spigot: but do u

pants: GIVING MYSELF HEAD AT WORK DURING BUSINESS HOURS pants: MY NECK HURTS BUT GOSH I'M NEVER SITTING UP STRAIGHT AGAIN pants: SUCK THE DICK YOU FAT OLD MAN

deuce: SON OF A BITCH pants: GO TO BED deuce: BUT I JUST pants: YOU HEARD ME deuce: FINE pants: TUCKING YOU IN

deuce: MY DICK spigot: ALL OF OUR DICKS, I SUGGEST TO YOU pants: HIS DICK pants: BUT GOOD SIR I deuce: SOME DICKS deuce: AT LEAST ONE DICK pants: REGARDING THE MASSIVE DICKS: I WILL GET BACK TO YOU (COMFORTABLE WITH SAYING I DON'T KNOW BUT I WILL FIND OUT)

pants: PLEASE DON'T FUCK THE LETTUCE OR THE CABBAGE pants: BUT IF YOU DO, USE PROTECTION

deuce: ARE YOU E.E. CUMMINGS BUT IN UPPERCASE atandt: LET'S CHECK atandt: NOPE

pants: THE VIEW IS AWFUL BUT MY FACE IS STAINED WITH JIZZ deuce: SO IT ALL EVENS OUT

deuce: IT'S NOT WHAT YOU KNOW IT'S WHO YOU GARK GARK GARK spigot: FOLKS IT CAN BE A SLOPPY *******OR******* A SWALLOW BUT NOT BOTH

deuce: BUT SOFT! DOES SURELY MY NEWFOUND POO PRESS AGAINST MY BUMHOLE WITH GREAT ALACRITY pants: MMM YEAH THAT'S SO UH HOT YEAH IT IS HOT

deuce: WHAT FAGGOTRY pants: THROUGH YON WINDOW BREAKS deuce: BUT SOFT! SUCK THAT FUCKING DICK, BITCH

deuce: THE BIRD'S TAPPING ITS BEAK ON THE WINDOW AGAIN pants: FEED HIM DICK THROUGH THE MAIL SLOT

deuce: BUT THEN HE JUST RETURNS TO THE COMIC IN A RANDOM STRIP WITH OTHERS WITH NO FANFARE, NO EXPLANATION, NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN pants: RELEASING THE FARTS spigot: HURRR

pants: I TOOK MY DONG OUT BUT THEN I THOUGHT BETTER AND TUCKED IT BACK IN THERE pants: YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LUCK IN LIFE pants: HEARTS AND MINDS GENTLEMEN pants: HEARTS AND MINDS

pants: RIP OFF MY HEAD, SHIT DOWN MY NECK BUT THEN WHEN YOU ARE DONE PLEASE REPLACE MY HEAD deuce: ME AND MY HEAD OR ME AND MY BODY

pants: i was totally going to suck a dick but then i saw a moth and now i'm scared

deuce: WHAT IF I DON'T **WANT** TO LICK DICK deuce: GLURF

deuce: TOUCH IT pants: BUT WHY pants: WHY deuce: DON'T ASK JUST DO pants: BUT I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS

pants: WHY IS EVERYTHING SO deuce: DOWN IN FRONT

pants: T DEUCE WHAT'S A BUTT HEN deuce: T PANTS WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME pants: T DEUCE WELL I SURE AS HELL DON'T KNOW deuce: I'M GOING TO END THIS CONVERSATION BY CASUALLY TURNING MY HEAD AWAY NOW pants: BUTT HEN deuce: WHO SAID THAT !?!?!? WAS IT THE WIND ?!?!?!?!?!??! pants: BUTT HEN (QUIETER) deuce: I CAN'T HEAR YOU ?!??!?! (pants): BUTT HEN

spigot: GAY I'M A PERSON WITH FEELINGS spigot: I MEAN I'M A PERSON WITH FEELINGS

deuce: BEAT ME OFF pants: RELEASE THE HOSTAGES FIRST deuce: NO PROMISES

deuce: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND pants: BUTTERFLY SOUP pants: THE DAMN THINGS WON'T HOLD STILL pants: FURTHERMORE I CAN'T GET THEM CANNED

deuce: BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP $10 deuce: I'M NOT EATING AT LEAST TWO OF THOSE WORDS

pants: BUY ME A PONY pants: PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY pants: PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY

dick: I'M AN AFRICANIZED HONEY BEE !!!! ALL STARVING AND AIDSY dick: I'M A MEXICANIZED HONEY BEE !!!! TACOS Y TOSTADAS dick: I'M A GERMANIZED HONEY BEE !!!! ARBEIT MACHT FREI dick: I'M AN IRANIZED HONEY BEE !!!! MULLAH BIN KAFF GAG SAND dick: HALP

pants: ? (DUMB GUY VOICE) I SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FLY deuce: ? (CONTINUING DUMB GUY VOICE) BUT YET I DO pants: OH SHIT deuce: ????

pants: OH GOOD THE BUZZIES atandt: !!1 pants: OKAY THE BATS WENT AWAY atandt: SOMEONE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY pants: BOY AM I TIRED OF TYPING deuce: GLHAGHLGAHLAG

pants: HAVE YOU EVER RETIRED A HUMAN BY MISTAKE deuce: NOPE pants: WELL, OKAY

spigot: PANTS WANTS ME TO ASK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE-- (spigot): WHAT WAS IT AGAIN (pants): THE RIOT SHIELDS IN COUNTER STRIKE spigot: PANTS WANTS ME TO ASK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RIOT SHIELDS IN COUNTER STRIKE (pants): ALSO TELL THEM DJ RAPEKIT ISN'T A NAME IT'S AN OBJECT

pants: HOW ABOUT pants: SHOW YOUR PUSSY TO THE WORLD pants: FOR MONEY deuce: WHAT THE ?!?!? deuce: T PANTS I FIND THE TERM "PUSSY" OFFENSIVE deuce: I MUCH PREFER "CUNT" pants: T DEUCE GIRL DON'T HAVE CUNTS (ANYMORE) pants: T DEUCE ME AND MY TEAM SEWED THEM ALL SHUT deuce: T PANTS BY SURGICAL MEANS OR BY ROYAL DECREE pants: T DEUCE THEY MUST MAKE DO WITH THEIR GASHES FROM NOW ON deuce: T PANTS SHIT THAT'S SOME SERIOUS WORK pants: T DEUCE WE WERE UP ALL NIGHT deuce: T PANTS WHEN DID YOU DO THAT ???? I THINK YOU JUST DREAMED THIS pants: T DEUCE SANTA CLAUS WAS BROUGHT IN FOR CONSULTING deuce: T PANTS 10-4

uncredited bunny: HEY MAN ARE YOU OKAY pants: THAT MOVIE WITH AL PACINO WHERE HE YELLS A LOT

deuce: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU deuce: AND A ONE AND A TWO AN

dick: SNEEZING SO HARD I'M GETTING DIZZY HERE PEOPLE dick: BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS I'LL ALREADY BE GAY dick: GUESS WHO'S NAKED deuce: LOOK WHO'S JERKING TOO

deuce: I'M A BYTE ORDER MARK deuce: USE ME WISELY

ozone: 8543515 BYTES RECEIVED IN 18.5 SECONDS (461904 BYTES/S) deuce: YOU KEEP SAYING THAT KIND OF STUFF ozone: WONDER WHY ALL THE 4.4 DERIVED CLIENTS GIVE BYTES/S deuce: I'M GAY ozone: WE KNOW deuce: JUST CHECKING

atandt: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN pants: I LOST MY LIGHTER atandt: BOYS AND GIRLS pants: IT'S ORANGE atandt: COLORFUL TWINKLING LIGHTS pants: IF YOU FIND IT LET ME KNOW (THANKS)

deuce: T PANTS THE STORE WAS OUT OF THE REGULAR BRAND OF CAT LITTER I USE SO I HAD TO GRAB THE PILE OF C. 1999 HUSTLERS AND SHRED THEM TO MAKE UP FOR IT, WRITE BACK

pants: MY CUNT IS FULL OF LADYBUGS deuce: YOU DON'T HAVE A CUNT pants: BUT pants: WHERE DID ALL THESE LADYBUGS COME FROM deuce: GHALGLUAGHULAG

spigot: PLEASE ADDRESS MY PENIS AS CRYPTO'S GOLDEN BOY

spigot: JOIN THE COMICS RETAILERS ARTISTS / PUBLISHERS WEBRING !!!!!!!!!! spigot: SIR THAT SPELLS "CRAP" AND HANGING UP NOW spigot: SQUEEZING, STARING

pants: T DEUCE GIVE ME HEAD IN THE SAUNA deuce: UMM pants: C'MON deuce: HMMM

spigot: did you know indonesia is at a crossroads spigot: it is

pants: WE HAVE TO **PICK UP ALL THE LITTER** AT **THE BEACH** pants: C'MON EVERYBODY!!!!!!!! pants: BLACK GARBAGE BAGS AND FLOPPY HATS pants: OVERALLS AND A STICK WITH A NAIL AT THE END pants: A HILL??????? GETTING BACK ON THE BUS TO THE DILDO POLISHING ACADEMY

spigot: QUITTING JERKCITY AND WAITING TABLES spigot: OUR SPECIAL TODAY IS MY PRICK IN YOUR FAT FACE WITH A CAESAR SALAD pants: WE ARE PREDICTING THIRD STAGE SHUTDOWN AT ELEVEN MINUTES THIRTY-TWO SECONDS

pants: I HAVE SEENDEUCE'S MANCUNT deuce: IT IS MADE OF CHEDDAR pants: VERY UPSET pants: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SWISS deuce: LET'S MAKE IT GOUDAAND CALL IT A WRAP

pants: call it friendo spigot: friendo is actually culturally insensitive, we prefer retardo (with a hard R) or fagface (with 2 long spluttery limpwristed F's)

deuce: I AM A STATIC_CAST deuce: PUNCH ME IN MY TITS AND CALL ME SALLY

pants: THESE BALLS AREN'T SO SCARY AFTER ALL pants: LOOK AT THEM THEY'RE SO CUTE AND OWWWWW GOD GET THEM OFF pants: OWWWWW CALL OFF YOUR BALLS WHOA HEY OWWWW

pants: OKAY IT TURNS OUT DRINKING OTHER PEOPLE'S BLOOD IS FRAUGHT WITH HEALTH RISKS AND ISSUES SO I'M GOING TO BE THE VAMPYRE THAT DRINKS DOUBLE ICED MOCHAS

pants: SENTENCED TO FIRST TIME ANAL deuce: CALLING ALL CARS, CALLING ALL CARS pants: SON OF A DICKS

spigot: HANDS UP WHO'S A FUCKING QUEER pants: QUEER HERE spigot: OKAY PEOPLE IT'S 4:30 IN THE MORNING AND I'M STILL A COMPLETE FAGGOT spigot: THIS BETTER WEAR OFF