pants: STOP CRYING !!! I TOLD YOU I WAS A COCKSUCKER FROM THE BEGINNING !!! YOU SAW THAT ISSUE OF MAXIM UNDER MY COUCH pants: YOU CAN WATCH ME LICK DICK BUT YOU HAVE TO STAY OUTSIDE THE STALL FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY !!! YOU COULD LOSE A LIMB BECAUSE I'M LIKE A MACHINE WHEN I GET GOING pants: I SAID STOP CRYING !!! JUST HOLD STILL AND LET ME GET DOWN TO BUSINESS !!! THIS TIME I'M ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN AND YOU'RE THE FARMER'S DAUGHTER

pants: I MISS MOM AND DAD pants: I HATE CAMP pants: OH HI deuce: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING IN MY BEDROOM

deuce: LOL @ HIV pants: DOO DAH / DOO DAH

spigot: LADY YOUR APARTMENT LOOKS LIKE A CHEAP HOLIDAY INN IN BAKERSFIELD pants: GIANT RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK WAREHOUSE FULL OF SOBBING ASIAN WHORES spigot: QUIET DOWN IN THERE WHOEVER YOU ARE (BANGING ON RANDOM CRATES WITH A FLASHLIGHT) deuce: CORNER OF HOUSE WITH CURTAINS DRAWN TO SEPARATE FROM OTHER CAMWHORES, REPEATEDLY STOPPING ACTION AND LOOKING OFF-CAMERA TO ARGUE WITH SIBLING/PARENT/PIMP

deuce: FUCKING SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE pants: CAN DO pants: WAIT I WASN'T TALKING pants: BUT I AM NOW pants: DARN

pants: T DEUCE CAN I EAT IT deuce: T PANTS YOU CAN TRY SIR

pants: CAN I CHOKE MYSELF???????????? pants: NOT EFFECTIVELY

spigot: :LOCK: THIS PENIS IS ONLY AVAILABLE TO SUBSCRIBERS spigot: OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW spigot: OW OW OW OW OW OW OW spigot: OW OW OW spigot: CAN I CALL YOU BACK I'M GETTING A BJ FROM A LANGOLIER

spigot: I HAVE LEARNED THE VALUE OF SIMPLY BEING MYSELF spigot: CAN I COME BACK TO THE GAY CLUB OR HAVE I BEEN EXCLUDED

deuce: CAN I GO NOW pants: NO deuce: FINE deuce: (FROWNS, FOLDS ARMS)

spigot: CAN I PLEASE JOIN YOU GUYS IN STALL 2 spigot: I BROUGHT CONDIMENTS spigot: SOME A-1 AND MUSTARD AND SO FORTH spigot: PLUS SOUR SAUCE

pants: NOW YOU GOT THE JUICE

pants: DO WIENERDOGS EVEN HAVE WIENERS pants: WHAT PART DO I SUCK, THE WIENER PART OR THE WHOLE THING OR pants: PLEASE SEND THE NATIONAL GUARD

pants: I CAN'T SEE pants: SEND THE NATIONAL GUARD pants: JUST DON'T THROW ME IN THE BRIAR PATCH (MMMM YEAH SO CRUISY MMMMM DUH MMMM MOO MMMMMM)

spigot: I OPENED THE FRIDGE AND A CAN OF SODA ROLLED OUT AND HIT THE FLOOR AND NOW I KNOW HOW MY PENIS FEELS

spigot: CAN WE AFFORD NOT TO SUPPORT CLONING PROSTITUTES

deuce: CAN WE ALL CHOKE IT DOWN OR NO spigot: I VOTE WE CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: CHOKE IT ON DOWN spigot: THAT IS

spigot: CAN WE DO A KICKSTARTER TO TEAR DOWN THE OATMEAL'S TESLA MUSEUM

spigot: CAN WE HOLD HANDS AND PROCLAIM WE'RE AN OPEN SOURCE COMMUNITY spigot: DICKS THEN spigot: ?!?!??!?!!?!?!

spigot: CAN WE JUST NOT FIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOG AND THE CAT ANYMORE pants: I WOULD LIKE SOME PIE PLEASE spigot: SOILING MYSELF spigot: ME AGAIN pants: I SAID PIE IT'S LIKE YOU PEOPLE DON'T LISTEN

spigot: CAN WE JUST SAY I HAVE COMBINATION SKIN AND LEAVE IT AT THAT spigot: HELLO spigot: LOOKING FOR GAY GAGS AND QUEER ZINGERS spigot: SENSING A LITTLE JUDGEMENT FROM YOU HOMOPHOBES spigot: HOMOPHOBES ARE WORDS WHICH SOUND THE SAME BUT ARE SPELLED G-A-Y

deuce: ABHGLBHALUBHGABH deuce: CAN WE LICK IT ??!?!?! pants: YEAH HUALGHLAGHLUAHG deuce: OR DO WE HAVE TO SUCK IT AGAIN pants: DO WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU TO DO

pants: can we peek in the box to see if the kitty is okay deuce: if you do then you will destroy the Universe

deuce: CAN WE TALK? spigot: ABOUT DICK deuce: THAT'S ALL IT IS WITH YOU

pants: T DEUCE CAN WORDS MAKE WISHES COME TRUE deuce: T PANTS IN SOME CASES, YES deuce: FOR INSTANCE: "DON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS OR I'LL KILL YOU"

spigot: CAN YOU BELIEVE WE KILLED COMMANDER Q'UACKIM SALAMI AND K'OTAKU AL-HULLABALOO

spigot: JERKCITY.CGI WAS NOT FOUND ON THIS SERVER pants: HELLO spigot: HYPERVENTILATING pants: IS THIS THING ON spigot: CALLING THE ENCLAVE pants: HELLLLOOOOOO

spigot: I WAS TOO BUSY THINKING ABOUT IF I COULD THAT I NEVER STOPPED TO THINK IF I SHOULD deuce: THAT KIND OF CRAP IS EXACTLY WHY I'M LEAVING THE INTERNET FOREVER !!!!!! pants: WAIT STOP pants: JEAN-CHARLES NO pants: OH TOO LATE pants: DOWN HE GOES

deuce: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT??? deuce: [REFERENT NEVER SPECIFIED]

pants: I LOVE YOU pants: WHICH IS WHY I'M NOT GOING TO EAT YOU pants: FOR NOW

spigot: T DEUCE HOLD THIS CUP WITH A STRING ATTACHED spigot: CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP WALKING ACROSS THE STREET spigot: CAN YOU HEAR ME HELLO deuce: BALLS pants: WATCHING AND WONDERING

spigot: HONEY CAN YOU JUST TURN AROUND AND NOT LOOK AT KEEP THE CRYING DOWN pants: HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF I SAID DON'T LOOK

spigot: T PANTS CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET (T DEUCE TOO I GUESS) pants: T SPIGOT OKAY deuce: YES spigot: _I REALLY AM BUTTMAN FOCUSED_ deuce: GOOD TO KNOW deuce: FLUSHING MEMORY spigot: LOL!!~~~~~~~~J/K HAPPY 2017 EVERY1

spigot: WHY DIDN’T BIG BIRD JUST SHOOT MR. SNUFFLEUPAGUS

spigot: THAT'S A COCKADOODLE CAN-DO spigot: <!-- BEGIN HIDING SPIGOT FROM NON-JAVASCRIPT ENABLED BROWSER>/HREF

atandt: LOOKING FOR SOME SYMPATHY HERE (BALLS) atandt: IF I CAN'T BE IN THE CLUB I'M GOING TO *HUFF* atandt: COCKS

pants: T DEUCE IS BOFFIN-ROCK THE SAME THING AS POST-DUBSTEP deuce: CAN'T BEAT OFF WHEN YOU SAY MY NAME (IT TRIGGERS A GUI NOTIFICATION)

pants: BUTTER ME UP deuce: SMEAR ME WITHMARGARINE(BUT NOT BUTTER) pants: T DEUCE NOBODY SUCKS DICK IN THE BATHROOM IT WAS ALL A CLEVER RUSE deuce: YOU WEREDEAD THISWHOLE TIME pants: BE GOOD TO ME deuce: NEVER

spigot: CAN'T DO IT pants: C'MON pants: OUR FOREFATHERS pants: ETC

pants: IT WAS YOU pants: GODDAMNIT pants: THIS WHOLE TIME pants: CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT pants: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING pants: HOW COULD YOU pants: I FEEL BETRAYED AND AROUSED pants: BUT MOSTLY BETRAYED!!!!!!!! LET'S NOT GET OFF TRACK HERE

spigot: IT'S 9/11 ALL OVER AG **KA-BLOOM** spigot: CAN'T EVEN FINISH A SENTEN **KA-BLAM** spigot: MAYBE IF I STAND VERY **KA-BLOOM**

spigot: BOO deuce: OH SHIT THE GHOST deuce: FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP deuce: CAN'T GET AWAY deuce: FLAP FLAP FLAP deuce: RUNNING INTO WALLS NOW deuce: FLAP FLAP FLAP deuce: FLAP FLAP FLAP deuce: FLAPPITY FLAP FLAP

spigot: T DEUCE I ALSO THINK YOU ARE NEAT AND I HAVE LINKED YOUR BALLS PERMANENTLY TO MY MOUTH AND FACE (SO I CAN'T GET AWAY OR DO WORK) deuce: T SPIGOT WOULD YOU LIKE A BARTLES & JAYMES WINE COOLER ?????????????????????

pants: i can't piss with you watching deuce: that's not what my archival footage shows

pants: PLEASE FAV ME deuce: UNSUBSCRUBE pants: FINE pants: CAN'T REMEMBER IF I'VE ASKED THIS BEFORE SO IGNORE ME IF I HAVE: PLEASE FAV ME deuce: UNSUBSCRIBE

pants: I CAN'T SEE GIFS OR JPEGS spigot: REBOOT YOUR BROWSER !!!!! pants: MY SCREEN IS GAY AND DUMB spigot: REBOOT YOUR ROUTER !!!!!! pants: IT'S BLINKING AND SPLURTING spigot: REBOOT YOUR MACHINE !!!!! pants: IT'S SPLURKING AND SPLORKING spigot: REBOOT YOUR CAR AND DRIVE AWAY !!!! pants: I JUST PLOWED THROUGH NINE DAY CARES spigot: REBOOT YOUR LIFE USING A FAKE NAME !!!! pants: WHAT ABOUT MY FREQUENT FLYER MILES ??? pants: AND MY SAFEWAY REWARDS CARDS ??? pants: AND MY ANYTIME MINUTES ?????? pants: AND MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY PLUS POINTS ????? spigot: OKAY BYE

spigot: I CAN'T SEE THE FOREST FOR THE DICKS spigot: KINDA JUST WANT TO STICK WITH THE DICKS

pants: LEMME AT 'IM pants: I'LL MURDERIZE THEM ALL pants: WHY I OUGHTA

net: REALLY CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS LICKING deuce: T NET OH I THINK YOU CAN deuce: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL deuce: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL deuce: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL deuce: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL net: OK A LITTLE MORE THEN

deuce: can't tell whether a piss fetish is more or less gross than a foot fetish pants: that's a tough one

pants: CAN'T WE JUST spigot: POKE CHOKE SOAK REPEAT / POKE CHOKE SOAK REPEAT pants: PLEASE IF YOU spigot: I CAN'T HEAR YOU pants: GET OFF ME

pants: T DEUCE LET'S DIG A HOLE, CLIMB IN AND BUTTFUCK

pants: CANADIAN BONERS TASTE LIKE MAPLE FOR SOME REASON deuce: IT'S THE RED POINTY THING ON THEIR FLAG pants: MMM MAPLE

pants: DID I MISS SMOOTH BUDDY WEEK AGAIN

atandt: MARRY ME deuce: NO atandt: CANCEL deuce: YOU'RE NOT JEWISH atandt: DOES BEING CIRCUMSIZED COUNT deuce: IF THAT WAS TRUE, WE'D ALL BE JEWS

deuce: T SPIGOT DO YOU THINK KAIYA LYNN KNOWS AMBER LYNN OR GINGER LYNN spigot: I CANCELLED MY SUBSCRIPTION TO ALL THE LYNNS STARTING WITH PORSCHE

spigot: EVEN OP'S CAT IS A FAGGOT

dick: BONER CANCER!!!!!!! deuce: ELFQUEST ?!?!?!?!!?!?

atandt: AND THAT'S WHY WE NEED TO MOVE "BIG FAGGOTY DICK PART III" TO A FALL RELEASE pants: I AM BOTH OUTRAGED AND SADDENED pants: YET I AM ALSO AROUSED AND ERECT atandt: HERE IT COMES pants: I AM ENGORGED WITH BLOOD pants: RELEASE THE DOGS OF WAR OR WHATEVER IT IS WE DO AROUND HERE

spigot: MY BONER WAS MANY THINGS TO MANY PEOPLE spigot: BUT REALLY I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT HOW GAY THINGS GET IN STALL 4 pants: HOW GAY IS IT spigot: I MEAN BREAKFAST CANCER OR WHATEVER pants: SO GAY THEY SERVE HAPPY MEALS

spigot: WHEN YOU SAY “THE CLOUD” DO YOU MEAN BEATING OFF FOR 72 HOURS STRAIGHT BECAUSE OF THE COKE DICK spigot: I’LL TAKE MY ANSWER NEVER pants: CANCER STICKS spigot: THE IDIOT BOX pants: THE OL' BALL AND CHAIN spigot: THE SPERM BANK UPSTAIRS spigot: COCKSUCKING INTHE DATACENTERS(PLURAL) pants: WELL YA GOTTAHAVE MULTIPLEDATACENTERS

deuce: FIRST QUESTION RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE: "WHAT IS THE LIMIT AS X APPROACHES 0 OF SINE OF X DIVIDED BY X" deuce: SORRY, THAT'S INCORRECT deuce: THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, BUT I'M AFRAID WE'RE AN ALL-CALCULUS CANDLE SHOPPE HERE

pants: IT IS LATE deuce: YES deuce: YES IT IS pants: SOON I WILL BE A GREAT BIG FAGGY PUMPKIN (MIDNIGHT) deuce: HOLY GOD PLEASE SAY IT ISN'T SO (CARVING YOU, PUTTING A CANDLE INSIDE YOU) pants: URP pants: I AM BEING CANDLED deuce: (BUSY CANDLING YOU) pants: WICK END UP PLZ deuce: THAT'S MY FUCKING DECISION (CANDLING)

atandt: T SPIGOT WHY ARE YOU STILL UP spigot: CRUISING FOR PRICKS, CURLY FRIES atandt: JOLLY GOOD

pants: I WOULD LIKE CANDY AS A REWARD deuce: FOR WHAT, PRAY TELL?!?!? pants: DICKS??????????? I DUNNO pants: NOT TOUCHING JUST WATCHING deuce: GHGHLGALGLHGA

spigot: AS SOON AS I'VE QUIT JERKCITY I CAN GET STARTED ON THOSE BUTTERED MUFFINS spigot: WHERE'S THE CANDY BOWL spigot: I'M NOT ACCUSING ANYONE I'M JUST ASKING WHO DID IT

pants: EATING PEPPERMINT PATTIES FOR LUNCH spigot: I BROUGHT MILKY WAYS FROM HOME spigot: THE FAGGOT COUSIN OF SNICKERS

pants: DO YOU HAVE ANY CANDY FOR ME pants: POKING MY HEAD INTO YOUR WINDOW pants: HOWDY NEIGHBOR

pants: SEARCHING MY POCKETS FOR CANDY pants: EMPTY

spigot: SPIGOT / SPIGOT / BO BIGOT spigot: CANE MY FANNY!!!!!! WRITE BACK deuce: HOLD FUCKING STILL

deuce: I'M A CANKER SORE deuce: POUND ME 'TIL THE COWS COME HOME

pants: I'M A BAD MOTHERFUCKER DON'T YOU KNOW deuce: I CAN SENSE AND SMELL THAT

pants: THE OFFICIAL POSITION OF MY DONG IS THAT IT CANNOT BE SOFT

spigot: DONG DONG deuce: (WIPING COUNTERS) I SEEN HIM. HE CAME IN HERE LAST NIGHT WITH SOME DAME effigy: (STACKING CRATES) SHE WAS STEAMED. SHE SAID A FEW TIMES SHE WISHED HE WAS DEAD pants: (CAMERA 2) I CAN'T LET DIARRHEA SLOW ME DOWN

effigy: I LOVE PENIS effigy: ALSO, CAPS LOCK IS ON.

spigot: Would pricks in my fat face be possible? Thursday thru Sunday? spigot: THAT JUST DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT WITHOUT THE CAPS LOCK deuce: SCARING ME spigot: POKING THE FAT PRICKS INTO THE BUS TOILET

spigot: CAPTAIN. IT APPEARS TO BE A TWENTIETH CENTURY EARTH PENIS

spigot: CAPTAIN'S LOG SUPPLEMENTAL: I LICK DICK

deuce: HOLD ME deuce: YOU'RE NOT HOLDING ME deuce: THAT'S MORE LIKE STRETCHING ME OUT WITH A CAR JACK

pants: WHO WANTS TO CARPOOL TO SANTANA ROW FOR PRICKS IN THE PARKING GARAGE pants: WE CAN CRUISE, SHOP, CRUISE SOME MORE UNTIL THEY KICK US OUT deuce: THAT IS SO GROSS pants: COME ON CAPTAIN MOUSTACHE DON'T TELL ME YOU WORE YOUR HOTPANTS FOR NOTHING

pants: IS THIS CHURCH spigot: THIS IS THE THE CAR WASH pants: IS CHURCH SERVICE MANDATORY IF I ONLY WANT UNLEADED spigot: THIS IS THE CAR WASH pants: BUT I CAN PRAY HERE RIGHT deuce: OH GOD OH GOD WHEN WILL THIS BE DONE I HAVE TO POO SO BAD

pants: ALL RIGHT BUT I WILL ONLY GO TO SECOND BASE deuce: I THINK I CAN HANDLE THAT

deuce: ON CAREFUL REFLECTION, CONSULTATION WITH MY ADVISORS, AND DEEP DISCUSSIONS WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS

deuce: ME SO CHARITY

pants: NO, IT'S NOT SHI'AR

pants: T SPIGOT CAREFULLY PLACING THE TOWEL IN FRONT OF THE TOILET spigot: THINKING MAYBE BOOF THE DOGGO SHOULD BE SLANG FOR GOING TO THE BATHROOM

spigot: CARPE SUCK IT spigot: LICK MY DICK spigot: DOO DAH spigot: DOO DAH spigot: KINDA WISH I COULD TALK TO MYSELF IN THE SAME PANEL

spigot: CHRIST JESUS spigot: AAAAAAAAAAAA YELLED THE STEPHEN KING CHARACTER AAAAAAA AAAAA spigot: TIME TO SMOKE DOPE AND FORGET

pants: HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE JOHN MULANEY AS A CARTOON PIG pants: OR REALLY ANY KIND OF PIG pants: MAYBE I'M JUST HUNGRY :PIG:

spigot: when ozone hands me the pipe. has the bowl been 'cached' or 'cashed' deuce: cache pronounced "cash-ay" spigot: t deuce shut up pants: in my defense i was quite drunk

spigot: I THINK ANY ONE OF US COULD HAVE MOLESTED AND STRANGLED A 7-YEAR-OLD BLACK GIRL IN A CASINO TOILET SO DON'T BE JUDGING ME YOUR "HONOR"

deuce: I BROUGHT CATFOOD BACK JUST IN TIME pants: I LIKE CATFOOD TOO pants: DON'T HOG IT ALL

pants: PFFT PFFFFFFT effigy: CAT HAIR IN YOUR MOUTH, HUH pants: YEAH

spigot: I WISH THEY WOULD HURRY UP AND MAKE MY REAL DOLL deuce: T SPIGOT I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO SHARE ONE spigot: I THINK NOT (CAT SCRATCHES, SHOE POLISH)

spigot: CATCH THE CYBERWAVE WITH THESE OTHER HYPERTEXT LINKS............ spigot: DUH.DONGS.COM spigot: SURFING!!!!!!!! NET spigot: STORYTELLERS.ORG spigot: HTTP://PEPSI ONE CONTEST pants: IS THERE IS NO PLACE ELSE WE CAN GO TO HLUAHULG DO THIS THING pants: BECOMING GOOD FRIENDS WITH THE COUNTY PARK WORKER WHO UNLOCKS THE BATHROOM AT 6AM pants: HOW CAN YOU LOSE

lobster: IT'S A VICIOUS CYCLE lobster: HOLY CRAP IS THIS THING ON ARE PEOPLE ACTUALLY WATCHING ME lobster: DUDE I'M THAT DRUNKEN CRAB YOU SAW ON THE INTERNET ALL PINCHY AND HURRRRRRRRRRRRR THROWING UP hanford: PLEASE LEAVE OR I'LL CALL THE COPS

pants: HULAGHLUAUHGULHUULAHLUAG deuce: BLAUGHUBLA GLUAHGLBAGLUGHBALJ AG deuce: ALIGYAOGHAOGYHSOG8777777788888888888

spigot: HELLO spigot: HELLO .(spigot): ALL ALONE : SPIGOT PULLS DOWN TROUSERS: HBUGLBUG LUBUGBLH GLBUGHLUBH GLUBHGLU spigot: JESUS GOD JEAN-CHARLES AND THREE OTHER FAT FRENCH FAGS