deuce: I DON'T NEED THE 40 THE GAT OR THE BLUNT spigot: JUST SOME GOOD OLD FASHIONED ELBOW GREASE

spigot: WILLING TO LICK DICK FOR ELDENRING DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT

spigot: THESE PATIENTS DON'T NEED A FRIEND!!!!!!! THEY NEED A DOCTOR!!!!!!!! spigot: CLAMPING THE CLOWN NOSE ON MY DONG AND LOOKING FOR ANYONE ELDERLY/COMATOSE deuce: GOD BLESS THIS GREAT COUNTRY OF OURS

pants: ELVES WANTED! pants: JOB FAIR pants: WEDNESDAY

deuce: C-X ` pants: YOU'RE A POWER USER deuce: IN EMACS THAT MEANS FIND NEXT ERROR AND THEN SUCK DICK pants: BUT YOU CAN'T FIND THE JERKCITY KEY pants: MAN YOU SUCK: FIND THAT FUCKING KEY AND YOU'LL BE THE KING

pants: MANKIND'S GREATEST FOE IS EMACS pants: OUR CITYSTATES AND TRI-COUNTY AREAS HAVE SUFFERED FOR TOO LONG pants: WE SHALL FORCE THEM TO USE VI UNDER THREAT OF GAY DICK pants: THAT'S RIGHT: OPEN WIDE YOU FAT BEARDO HERE I COME HLUAGHLAHLAG pants: HURTING YOU

spigot: CAUTION: ANTI-PATTERNS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: EMAIL WITHOUT A SUBJECT pants: TELL ME ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH POTATOES pants: DO YOU BAKE THEM, DO YOU FRY THEM, DO YOU POKE A LITTLE HOLE IN THEM FOR SEXUAL PURPOSES deuce: THE LAST

spigot: T PANTS YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT HOW BONEQUEST WAS AN ALTERNATIVE ONLINE CYBERZINE pants: AUUUUGH

pants: i would like some oral history please spigot: break break spigot: emergency traffic for the net spigot: (spluttery shit)

spigot: EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GROUPSFOR WHEN THE EMOJISDON'T FACE THEDIRECTION YOU WANT

pants: WHY WEREN'T YOU AT THE BEHEADING deuce: MY PAPERS ARE IN ORDER

spigot: SERIOUSLY I LEFT A SACK FULL OF DICKS HERE AND NOW IT'S GONE spigot: EVERYONE EMPTY YOUR PANTS POCKETS FRONT BACK AND SIDES pants: POTASSIUM CHLORUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

spigot: NEVER GONNA GET IT / NEVER GONNA GET IT spigot: NEVER GONNA GET / YOUR STUPID ALBUM

pants: I NEED A SECOND MONITOR SO I CAN JUST HAVE THIS LADY WITH ME AT ALL TIMES spigot: PANTS JUST ADMITTED HE DOESN'T HAVE A SECOND MONITOR deuce: SHOULD WEBAN HIM THEN

atandt: DO I LOOK FAT spigot: ONLY ABOUT THE FACE NECK HEAD ASS LEGS SHOULDERS AND BALLS atandt: BE MY FRIEND atandt: PAPAL INFIDELITY

spigot: KNOCK KNOCK / SUCK A COCK (END OF JOKE)

atandt: WHAT IF I'M BOTH deuce: MAN TALKING, SHUT UP atandt: SUCKING AND TUGGING LIKE I GOT A PURPOSE atandt: T DEUCE MY MOUTH IS YOUR PRIVATE MUSIC FACTORY deuce: DISGUSTING deuce: AND YET SOMEHOW INTRIGUING atandt: WHAT IF I'M BOTH deuce: HEY SHUT UP MAN TALKING

pants: WHY AM I SO DIZZY pants: HOW DID I GET HERE pants: WHICH ONE ARE YOU pants: I WANT ANSWERS AND I WANT THEM NOW pants: TIRED OF EATING CRICKETS AND MEALWORMS pants: OH HEY THE SMOOTH FONTS ARE BACK pants: THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION pants: HUGE DICKS UNTIL I BECOME DIZZY (FIN)

pants: NO CAMPING !!!!! (YELLING AT THE BONER PATCH)

deuce: WHO WANTS ENGLISH MUFFINS ???? deuce: (PRESENTS CAKES OF SHIT ON A NICE PLATTER) atandt: THESE ARE NOT ENGLISH MUFFINS

deuce: GLAHGLAGH PAULI SPIN MATRICES pants: SPEAK ENGLISH OR DIE

pants: ? pants: ENHANCE pants: ? pants: ENHANCE pants: ?

spigot: ghouls, goblins, millenials deuce: minotaurs spigot: literally why is there no eph category deuce: eph spigot: talkin' enormous penis humiliation deuce: searching

pants: T SPIGOT DO YOU HAVE A BIG HOME RIG OR DO YOU USE A HANDHELD spigot: I USE BOTH WITH ENORMOUS PRIDE AND FANFARE

spigot: enough coronavirus chatter, let's talk OLYMPICS !!!

spigot: I THINK I'VE BEEN FUNNY ENOUGH FOR ONE DAY spigot: OOF URF WHAT THE spigot: *SLAM*

pants: help my necktie is stuck in the shredder deuce: down you go pants: thank god my pantleg was stuck in the line printer deuce: drawn and quartered pants: frrrrrp frrrrrp frrrrrp frrrrrp fzzzzzZZZZzzzzp frrrrrp frrrrrp deuce: enough of your jocularity, I'm getting booze

spigot: ENTER DESIRED USERNAME: spigot: > SPIGOT spigot: THAT USERNAME IS UNAVAILABLE. spigot: SUGGESTED USERNAMES: spigot: > IBLOWTROLLS spigot: > BLOWINGTROLLS95104 spigot: > BLOW_THAT_TROLL spigot: > TROLLBLOWER69

spigot: YOUR HEALTH IS YOUR BIGGEST ASSET deuce: MY HEALTH CAN FUCK ITSELF pants: I'D SAY MY ASS IS MY BIGGEST ASSET spigot: WILLING TO LICK STARTING AT ZERO DOLLARS PER MONTH

pants: I AM ENTERING YOUR AIRSPACE deuce: I AM FEELING YOUR PRESENCE, TRACKING YOU ON RADAR DESPITE YOUR STEALTH CAPABILITY SINCE YOU ARE SHOUTING AND FLAILING LIKE A COCKSUCKER

spigot: T ATANDT COULD YOU *PLEASE* CALL ME SILLYBALLS LIKE WE DISCUSSED OVER XMAS BREAK atandt: CAUTION: ENTROPY ZONE spigot: CAUTION: VAMPIRE ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! atandt: COMPLETE TOOL spigot: <BR><BR><IMG SRC= "BAT>

pants: T DEUCE WHAT DO EPA REGULATIONS SAY ABOUT MY BONER, MY BALLS deuce: T PANTS YOU WILL NEED LOTS OF PERMITS

spigot: T DEUCE KNOCK KNOCK deuce: WHO'S THERE spigot: MY SHAMPOO VACUUM deuce: YOUR SHAMPOO VACUUM WHO

pants: T DEUCE GET READY TO RIDE MY PONY deuce: IS IT A GOOD PONY deuce: A RIGHTEOUS PONY pants: SURE pants: T SPIGOT GET READY TO RIDE MY PONY AFTER DEUCE IS DONE deuce: `EPONYRIDEINPROGRESS`

pants: ANYWAY: PISS IN MY POT pants: HE'S LOOKING AT ME BETTER SAY SOMETHING pants: DICKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: THAT WENT POORLY deuce: CANNOT PISS IN POT; ALREADY CONTAINS CHICKEN deuce: `EPOTOCCUPIED` pants: WELL AS IT TURNS OUT THIS PARTICULAR CHICKEN LOVES PISS pants: WE CALL THEM TOILET BIRDS

effigy: SOMETHING FLACCID THIS WAY COMES

pants: GOD HELP US ALL THE YELLOW PAGES ARE BROKEN pants: HOW CAN THEY GO FROM EROSION CONTROL TO ESCROW WITHOUT ESCORTS ??? pants: WHAT ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH IS GOING OH HERE IT IS pants: "ENTERTAINERS" pants: I HAVE GOT TO GET A FAX MACHINE

deuce: EXTERN INT ERRNO; pants: SUNG TO THE TUNE OF RICHIE VALON'S LA BAMBA pants: URRRK YOU ARE HANGING ME FROM A LAMP POST deuce: I WANT TO DISPLAY YOU FOR ALL TO SEE AS A LESSON pants: I SEE pants: :NOTES: ERRNO / ERRNO deuce: I JUST A TOOK A SHOWER!!!! YOU'RE WELCOME, WESTERN UNITED STATES

spigot: E S C A P E spigot: SIGH!!!!! I WISH I COULD GO ON A JOURNEY AND ESCAPE THIS HIGH SCHOOL P.E. CLASS spigot: I WISH PINK FLOYD WOULD WHISK ME AWAY TO THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON!!!!!!!! *BONK* SOFTBALL

spigot: NOW HERE'S A RAP ABOUT WHY CUCUMBERS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!!! A PTHTHTH A *BONK* ANVIL

spigot: FOLKS LET'S SPEND BILLIONS TO GET ESCORT GIRLS OUT OF OUR NEIGHBORHOODS !!! AND MANDATORY AWARENESS SEMINARS FOR WOULD-BE CUSTOMERS WHO WE CAN SET UP AND BUST BY PRETENDING TO BE THOSE ESCORT GIRLS !!! spigot: USA /USA

deuce: I HAVE PSYCHIC POWERS deuce: WATCH deuce: I PREDICT THAT I WILL BE RAPED IN A MOMENT deuce: BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR deuce: SEE WHAT DID I TELL YOU: ESP WINS AGAIN

deuce: I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM MY AFFINITY FOR DRINK SIR ozone: YOU CAN GET RID OF THE HEADACHE WITH WINE YOU KNOW ozone: ESPECIALLY THE CHEAP STUFF deuce: YOU DOWN IN FRONT QUIET ozone: IN A BOTTLE SHAPED LIKE A PAPER BAG ozone: I CAN HEAR YOU BEING QUEER ozone: YOU'RE MAKING QUEER FAGGOTY NOISES RIGHT ABOUT NOW ozone: SHUT THE FUCK UP deuce: T OZONE SPICE GIRLS

deuce: LET'S ALL WRITE POEMS IN ESPERANTO AND THEN PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE FACE atandt: YAY! deuce: ON SECOND THOUGHT LET'S SKIP THE POEMS AND START PUNCHING atandt: YAY~~~~ deuce: WANG atandt: YA}}}}}}}}}}}}} NO CARRIER

spigot:'PLZ BEAT ME OFF' TATTOO PUTS DOCTORS IN ETHICAL DILEMMA spigot: WISHING EVERYONE A MERRY VLOGMAS deuce: LIVE TWEETING MY MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION

pants: AN OVERWORKED MOM OR A LESBIAN OF COLOR spigot: ONCE AGAIN CELEBRATING JON POLITO'S UTTERLY THANKLESS ROLE IN BARTON FINK

deuce: I ALWAYS FEEL EUPHORIC AND SLEEPY AFTER A GOOD LONG JERK pants: WERE YOU JERKED OR DID YOU DO THE JERKING deuce: NUMBER TWO BUT I USED MY LEFT HAND (SO IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE ELSE)

pants: T DEUCE I'M A EUROSLUT deuce: T PANTS I KNOW deuce: HOLY GOD DO I KNOW pants: T DEUCE A EUROSLUT

pants: CALL WHAT I'M DOING TO YOU LOVE EVEN IF YOU HATE IT pants: ESPECIALLY IF YOU HATE IT pants: SUCKING DICKS ABOVE THE SUPER K-MART

deuce: T SPIGOT DO YOU THINK WE'LL EVER SEE A TWINS III: THE NEW HATCH

spigot: Every 73 seconds another American is sexually assaulted. spigot: and boy is my penis ***tired*** spigot: my limp, tube sock penis spigot: my droopy, argyle mervyn's sweater sleeve penis spigot: my sad pixar lamp penis spigot: my miserable lopsided penis customized with glue and glitter and googly eyeballs spigot: please: one per american

pants: EVERYBODY HOLD HANDS AND DRINK AS MUCH AS YOU CAN AND WALK INTO THE SEA UNTIL YOU GET TIRED

spigot: EVERY BUILDING SHOULD HAVE A TOILET I CAN FLUSH MYSELF DOWN TO PORTAL ELSEWHERE

pants: GOD HAS GROWN TIRED OF US AND I PROBABLY HAVE TO POOP AGAIN

pants: SIT IN JUDGEMENT OF ME pants: YOUR HONOR deuce: I WILL NOT BECAUSE YOU SPELLED "JUDGEMENT" WITH AN EXTRA E deuce: WHICH I ALSO AGREE WITH DESPITE ALL DICTIONARIES AND SPELLCHECKERS pants: THIS MORTAL COIL deuce: I'VE BEEN DRINKING deuce: GOD IS NOT HERE pants: EVERY DAY WE MOVE FURTHER FROM GOD'S LIGHT

spigot: WHY DOES MY HEAD HURT EVERY FUCKING MORNING deuce: I STILL HAVEN'T QUITE FIGURED IT OUT deuce: I'M NOT VERY BRIGHT AFTER ALL deuce: TELEPHONY

spigot: do they make guinness cans that don't splork out into my face desk and lap every goddamn time spigot: seriously it's like the willy wonka soap suds car wash over here

spigot: CHOKING THEM ALL DOWN!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: AT ONCE!!!!!!! spigot: LIKE THE SIGN SAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

spigot: HANDS UP WHO'S AS QUEER AS ME spigot: THIS IS A STICK UP spigot: COME ON YOU STUPID WHORES, LET'S ALL BE GAY TOGETHER spigot: GET UP spigot: I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING SHOOT YOU spigot: GET THE FUCK UP OFF THE FLOOR, I'M AN ADULT GAY MAN spigot: SHUT UP BACK THERE spigot: I'M FREAKING OUT BUT I HAVE MY GAYNESS TO SOBER ME UP GOOD

pants: PASSING A NOTE TO THE TELLER DEMANDING A HUG

deuce: I'M AMAZED THAT A MARLEY SON WOULD SMOKE POT deuce: I'M SIMPLY SHOCKED AND HORRIFIED deuce: FIRE THE MISSILES

pants: EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT AUHLGAHAH GLAHGLKUAHG LUHAULH GLUH pants: LAUGHALGHLAUH GLAHG LHGLAHG SEE I TOLD YOU ALKGHALGHALGH pants: IF YOU ALL DON'T DIG IT I DON'T GIVE A DAMN AHULGAHG LAHLGHALH

pants: PENIS ON A BEACH deuce: FLAPPING, FLAILING

pants: MAYBE BJORK WILL BEAT ME OFF (GOES OUT FRONT DOOR) deuce: THIS HAPPENS EVERY OTHER WEEK

.(spigot): I NEED TO REMIND MYSELF THE INTERNET IS FOR KIDS AGE 12-18, NOTHING IS MARKETED, CREATED OR AIMED AT ME PERSONALLY AND EVERY PIECE OF CANDY WILL BE A COMPLETE DISAPPOINTMENT

spigot: I SAVE EVERY SCRAP OF PORN BECAUSE WHO KNOWS WHAT I'LL BE INTO THREE MONTHS DOWN THE ROAD

spigot: IF RUSSIA GETS UKRAINE AND CHINA GETS TAIWAN WHAT DO I GET #AIDS #COMCAST #XFINITY :everybody: FOOTSTEPS, TWIG BREAKS pants: EVERYBODY BE COOL HERE COMES THE PARK RANGER REMEMBER YOU'RE JUST PISSING OR SHITTING OR WASHING YOUR HANDS OR WHATEVER GOES ON AT THE OPERA

deuce: EVERYONE OUT I HAVE TO BEAT OFF

ozone: AND I SAY UNTO YOU: ASS RAPE net: I SEE YOUR ASS RAPE AND RAISE YOU A MOUTH RAPE AND A COCK-AND-BALL TORTURE ozone: I SEE YOUR PILE OF RAPE AND RAISE YOU SOME DIAPER PLAY net: I FOLD ozone: HURRRR deuce: OKAY EVERYBODY OUT OF THE POOL

deuce: EVERYBODY SHUT UP THE MOVIE'S STARTING pants: HUBUBUBUBUBUBUB pants: T PANTS SHUT THE FUCK UP pants: HUBUBUBUBUBUBUB [QUIETER]

pants: WHEN THE DICKY BIRD FLAPS INTO THE ROOM EVERYBODY SITS UP AND TAKES NOTICE

spigot: I CANNOT TELL IF EVERYONE IN MARKETING IS A POLISHED, PROFESSIONAL MORMON OR JUST SUPER-HIGH ON THE COKE DUST spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO ERR ON THE SIDE OF CAUTION AND LICK ON THE SIDE OF DICKLICKING spigot: I SEE LITTLE TO NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT

deuce: EVERYONE TAKE THEIR PLACES pants: T DEUCE THIS LYING ABOUT THE SIZE (LENGTH/GIRTH) OF MY DONG HAS TO STOP deuce: SURFACE AREA, VOLUME, GROWTH RATE pants: AND YOU CAN SEE HOW BIG IT REALLY IS

deuce: I'M WARNING YOU DON'T EAT THIS ROTTEN DICK !!!!! IT WILL INFECT YOUR TONSILS (AGAIN) net: DON'T YOU REVERSE PSYCHOSOMATIC ME deuce: ONCE AGAIN IN ENGLISH PLEASE net: YOU CAN'T GET ME WITH YOUR REVERSE PHYSIOLOGY deuce: ARE YOU ASKING ME TO PLAY DOCTOR WITH YOU net: IT HURTS RIGHT HERE

deuce: MEWOIHFL SFSDLKFSF SDF S JFS;LJFS deuce: OY VEY

spigot: 30 mins into apollo 11 and they're all doing heroin on the moon and everyone's tie-off tube is waving around in zero g spigot: FAKE

spigot: EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU I'M GOING TO PUNCH

spigot: PACE YOURSELF spigot: FIRST ONE COCK, THEN ANOTHER spigot: THEN FOUR, THEN EIGHT

spigot: PLEASE CAN I JUST HAVE ONE COCK deuce: LIKE ARMY ANTS THEY DEVOUR EVERYTHING IN THEIR PATH

pants: WE DON'T HAVE TO THINK LIKE THAT ANYMORE pants: WE'RE TOGETHER NOW pants: EVERYTHING WE'VE DONE IS FORGIVEN pants: EVERYTHING deuce: EXCEPT FOR BLOWING THAT TROLL pants: WELL YES OF COURSE

deuce: ANGLE IS TO STRANGLE AS ANGEL IS TO EVIL ANGEL

deuce: JERKING OFF WILL KEEP THE EVIL SPIRITS AWAY deuce: OR AT LEAST FEEL GOOD

pants: T DEUCE HELP ME OUT HERE I'M WRITING A POEM: HOW MANY DICKS DO YOU THINK BRAD PITT HAS TOUCHED deuce: 11 pants: I CAN WORK WITH THAT

spigot: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT spigot: IT'S DAYLIGHT SAVINGS AND I MISSED ALL THE COCK BY EXACTLY ONE HOUR spigot: I'M GOING TO LEAVE A NOTE

spigot: AS A LONGTIME LURKER I WOULD LIKE TO RECOMMEND YOU DOWNLOAD THE LATEST INSTALLER spigot: OR I CAN BURN YOU A CD BECAUSE I AM JUST EXACTLY THAT FUCKING FRIENDLESS deuce: I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED AND/OR BEATEN UP (BUT NOT TOO BADLY JUST ENOUGH TO GET SYMPATHY)

net: my dick has exactly the right amount of horseyness

spigot: I STILL REMEMBER EXACTLY WHERE I WAS WHEN I FIRST LEARNED BELLADONNA'S ASS WAS HAUNTED deuce: BY A BASEBALL BAT spigot: A DIRTPIPE MILKSHAKE IS LIKE RIDING A BIKE deuce: ONCE YOU GET ONE YOU IMMEDIATELY CRASH IT INTO A TREE spigot: I'M SAYING: IS IT KRISTINA, KRISZTINA, KRIZTINA, CHRISTINA, OR CRISTINA BELLA deuce: ALL OF THE ABOVE

deuce: WE ARE FOUNDING MEMBERS OF THE KILL FUCKING EVERYBODY CLUB spigot: EXCEPT EACH OTHER!!!!! spigot: PROMPTING GAY RUMORS AMONGST THE PRESS deuce: INDEED THAT IS THE PARADOX deuce: BEFORE WE DISAPPEAR IN A PUFF OF LOGIC WE CAN SUCK EACH OTHER OFF

pants: I'M LIKE A CHOCOHOLIC EXCEPT WITH DICKS deuce: SO THAT WOULD BE A DICKAHOLIC IF I'VE DONE MY MATH

spigot: I'M A GAUSSIAN BLUR spigot: HURRRRRRRR MY WHOLE NUTS AND FACE ARE A BIG BLURRY FLURRY OF EXCITEMENT AND SPURT spigot: VIRTUAL CRAPFEST

spigot: EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME BEHIND YOU HOT LASAGNA HERE

spigot: EXCUSE ME BUT MY BONER IS LOOSE spigot: EVERYONE TUCK YOUR PANTS INTO YOUR SOCKS

pants: excuse me but i'm a bisexual masterpiece

deuce: WHERE ARE THE STRIPPERS deuce: OR: OH NO I HAVE DIARRHEA

spigot: BRISCOE: WHAT IF WE GIVE UP THE MURDER WEAPON? deuce: UH OH spigot: MCCOY: HAGGLE GAGGLE I'M THE D.A. : EXECUTIVE PRODUCER DICK WOLF spigot: YOU CAN ONLY DO THAT WHILE SMOKING DOPE deuce: THAT'S BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY TIME YOU'RE FUNNY

spigot: THIS MOVIE DOES NOT HAVE CHRIS NOTH!!!!! IT IS PETER NORTH spigot: WHY IS HE DOING THAT TO CLAIRE deuce: I LONGED FOR THIS MOMENT AND YET NOW IT'S SOMEONE ELSE spigot: IS HE PLANTING EVIDENCE ON HER FACE????? I AM TOTALLY LOST HERE spigot: IT IS ME WHO IS EXILED

pants: SO, SO TIRED pants: I'D LIKE A BULLET THROUGH THE CENTER OF MY HEAD PLEASE (I'LL EAT IT HERE) deuce: THAT SEEMS LIKE AN EXTREME REACTION FOR BEING TIRED pants: NO IT'S ABOUT RIGHT pants: +/- ONE EXISTENCE ANNIHILATED deuce: CASUALTIES: 1.0

pants: piss (possibly piss) pants: confirming: piss deuce: validating piss pants: strange piss deuce: average piss pants: working man's piss deuce: Acapulco piss pants: exotic