pants: I SAID I WANT YOU RIGHT NOW deuce: SOMEONE PUT A NEEDLE IN HIS ARM

spigot: I WAS A TEENAGE DOMINATRIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: NO YOU WERE AN OVERWEIGHT TEENAGE WICCAN ENTHUSIAST WITH A DEAD CAN DANCE CD AND EQUALLY INSIPID PEERS WHO GAVE YOUR TITS THE TIME OF DAY IN EXCHANGE FOR RIDES TO THE COFFEE SHOP spigot: INHERIT THE MOON

pants: I WILL DRUG YOU AND FUCK YOU pants: WHAT pants: YES I'LL HOLD

spigot: OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND CLOSE YOUR EYES AND I WILL YOUR FACE WITH BALLS

pants: DON'T EAT ME deuce: NO PROMISES pants: I WANT TO LIVE deuce: I WANT TO TURN YOU INTO POO pants: I WILL BE MULCH FOR GROWING PLANTS deuce: MORE LIKELY JUST FLUSHED INTO THE SEA AND FORGOTTEN

deuce: I'M A LATE-NIGHT BONER deuce: SUCK JUST ONE MORE OF ME BEFORE YOU GO TO BED deuce: I WILL HELP YOU SLEEP

deuce: GO BACK TO COD FAGGOT pants: IS QUICKSCOPING WHEN I GET CAUGHT PEEPING THROUGH A FIRST FLOOR WINDOW AND I TRIP OVER GARBAGE CANS TRYING TO RUN AWAY deuce: NO THAT'S 360 SCOPING pants: THIS TIME I WILL MAKE A NOTE OF IT SO I DON'T ASK AGAIN deuce: QUICKSCOPING IS WHEN YOU BLOW YOUR LOAD EARLY BUT THE PROSTITUTE STILL CHARGES YOU FOR THE FULL HOUR

spigot: I WILL START A CLUB CALLED THE GAY AND LESBIAN AND HOMOSEXUAL AND LESBIAN AND LESBIAN AND GAY AND HOMOSEXUAL AND GAY AND LESBIAN AND GAY AND GAY AND HOMOSEXUAL AND GAY AND LESBIAN AND GAY CLUB AND IT WILL BE CALLED THE GALAHALALAGAHAGALAGAGAHAGALAG CLUB deuce: I WILL JOIN (HERE ARE MY DUES)

deuce: I WISH EVERYONE WHO WASN'T LIKE ME WOULD JUST LEARN THEIR PLACE AND STOP TALKING

spigot: I WISH I COULD DIAL NINE TO GET MY HEAD OUTSIDE OF THE TOILET

deuce: I WISH I HAD AN INTRIGUING NAME LIKE SEYMOUR BUTTS

pants: IT'S NORMAL TO SPIT PISS LIKE A FOUNTAIN pants: PFFTPFPTTPFPTPFPTFPT I WON'T LEAVE THE BALL PIT WITHOUT A FIGHT pants: PFPTPFPTPFTPFT PFPTPFPTPFPT THE FOUNTAIN IS DRY deuce: PFFPFPTPFTPFFP WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT

spigot: I WOULD BE FINE IF MY TOMBSTONE JUST SAID FOLKS

pants: PISS deuce: I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE pants: PISS!!!!!!!! deuce: THAT DOES NOT CONTAIN ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

pants: DO THE LOCOMOTION WITH ME??????????????????????????? deuce: NO pants: I ACCEPT YOUR ANSWER AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHY, NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF CONVINCING YOU OTHERWISE BUT SO I CAN BETTER UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION deuce: STATIC

pants: I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE pants: NOTHING pants: THANKS TO YOUR SHARP SITCK

deuce: I'M A UNIX DOMAIN SOCKET deuce: FUCK MY DRY CUNT

pants: WHICH DUNE BOOK ARE YOU deuce: I'D HAVE TO SAY CHILDREN OF DONG

pants: HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH deuce: UP spigot: I'D LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH YOU BUT I HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO AROUND MY BALLS

pants: jack me off under the table deuce: never pants: well then i'll just flop it out in plain view deuce: fine

spigot: I'LL MAKE A NOTE OF THAT SAID THE PISSING DETECTIVE WHO UNZIPPED HIS PANTS AND ACTUALLY PISSED A NOTATION INTO THE SAND WITH A SPECIAL PISSY CHEMICAL THAT NEVER DRIED OUT spigot: (SO IT STAYS WET)

deuce: OKAY PEOPLE I'D APPRECIATE LESS RAPE spigot: I'LL TAKE HIS RAPE

deuce: I'm a beautiful butterfly deuce: won't you fucking step on me

spigot: I'M A DINOSAUR PEOPLE spigot: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR spigot: I'M A COCKASAURUS NUTS spigot: I GUESS THAT WAS FUNNIER ON THE CRAPPER

deuce: LOVE CONNECTION pants: DOWN IN FRONT

spigot: I'M A LESBIAN!!!!!! spigot: WHY'S THAT?!?!?! spigot: YOU REFUSE TO BE DOMINATED IN A MALE WORLD ?!?!? spigot: NO!!!!! spigot: BECAUSE BIG DICKS HURT MY MOUTH!!!!! spigot: [LAUGHTER]

spigot: I'M A PROFESSIONAL CHUBBY MAN

pants: HUMP THAT TOAD deuce: BRAWWWWK THE LAMP pants: I'M A STARSHIP TROOPERS

pants: :BURRITO: deuce: THANKS, NOW I WANT A BURRITO deuce: I'M A SEX deuce: CONVERT ME TO UTF-8 AND THEN SEND ME ALONG THE SOCKET!!!!!

spigot: I FIGURE AS LONG AS I KEEP DOING NOTHING I'M A WINNER

pants: T DEUCE I'M AFRAID OF THE FUTURE deuce: I'M AFRAID OF RECTANGLES

dick: THERE MUST BE BIGGER FAGS THAN ME SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD, BUT I CAN'T IMAGINE WHERE dick: MAYDAY MAYDAY dick: I'M GOING DOWN

pants: HURP spigot: I SWEAR I'M GOING TO POP A SERIOUS BONER IF I EAT ANOTHER EGG MCMUFFIN

spigot: I'M GOING TO TAKE ALL YOUR HATE AND PIPE IT IN TO SMILES.PY AND EMAIL YOU THE RESULTING SUNSHINE spigot: VALUEERROR: MATH DOMAIN ERROR spigot: OK HOLD ON

spigot: well i got a big erection / i'm here to say spigot: did you hear all about spigot: my big erection

pants: I'M JUST SAYING THAT YOU HAVE A HABIT OF FEEDING ANIMALS THINGS THAT THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT pants: GIRAFFES DO NOT EAT SNICKERS BARS, SEAGULLS DO NOT EAT KIT-KATS AND BUBBLE-BUTTED TWINK TRAPS DO NOT EAT PEANUTS pants: WELL MAYBE THEY DO pants: WHO REALLY KNOWS ANYTHING deuce: DEUCE DOES NOT EAT VEGETABLES

spigot: i'm not a nerd who washes his hands

spigot: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I'M NOT AFTER YOUR MONEY, YOUR MONEY IS PROTECTE spigot: BANG spigot: dammit

spigot: I'M JUST WAITING FOR A FRIEND I'M NOT "LOOKING" pants: WELL IF HE DOESN'T SHOW UP JUST TAP AWAY spigot: SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS deuce: HURRAY THANK YOU FOR POINTING OUT THAT I LOOK LIKE A FAT, BALDING STUPID MORON WHO WAS NEVER EVEN MODERATELY AMUSING spigot: T DEUCE ALL I SAID WAS I WAS WAITING FOR A FRIEND THEN DICKCITY PUMPFACE SHOWS UP AND STARTS IN WITH THE GAY CHIT CHAT pants: MY KINGDOM FOR ONE MORE PANEL

deuce: LOOK I'M NOT SAYING YOU LOOK BAD IN A DRESS I'M JUST SAYING YOU LOOK TERRIBLE IN A DRESS

pants: DIE DIE DIE YOU FUCKING BITCH DIE DIE DIE pants: OH GOD I'M SO SORRY I PROMISE I'LL NEVER CHOKE YOU AGAIN pants: FUCKING BITCH DIE DIE DIE WHY WON'T YOU GIVE UP THE GHOST DIE DIE

spigot: FURRRRRRRR NOT FURP BECAUSE I'M STRETCHED OUT, LOOSENED pants: PICKLES

pants: I'M SURE EACH OF YOU HAS ALREADY SPOTTED YOUR OWN CAR BY NOW pants: SERVICEMEN IN UNIFORM AND CLERGYMEN (IF YOU TAKE BOTH YOU'LL TAKE TOO MUCH) pants: THE STREETS ARE VIRTUALLY DESERTED NOW BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO BE ON THEM

deuce: YOU'RE KIND OF BROKEN AREN'T YOU pants: I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN

spigot: FOLKS I JUST TOOK A DATE-RAPE DRUG AND I'LL BE OUTSIDE ON THE LAWN

spigot: I'M WITH STUPID spigot: YOU NEED TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE spigot: HURRRRR

spigot: PLUH PTHTH PUH URINE deuce: HURRAY FOR DICKS pants: I'M WITH YOU ON THIS ONE

pants: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I'M YOUR PUPPET deuce: UHHHHHHH PUTTING MY ARM UP YOU pants: HUHHHHHHHHHHH HAVING AN ARM PUT UP ME

spigot: I'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME PEOPLE spigot: I WILL RAPE A VIRGIN TO CLEANSE MYSELF OF AIDS/HIV

spigot: I'M JAMES BOND AND I HAVE A LICENSE TO *****KILL***** spigot: ALSO A LICENSE FOR MY TV SET

pants: do u want 2 do things 2 me deuce: i do pants: feed me ice cream and candy deuce: will do pants: get back to me when you can

atandt: ICE CREAM CAN NOT ATTACK YOU atandt: IT'S NOT ALIVE atandt: AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ROCKY ROAD

spigot: I'M A SHORT WIDE GOTH WHO'S MAKING A CYBERDIFFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

spigot: REALLY REALLY TAKING IT AND TRYING TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW (THINKING ABOUT ICE CREAM, ICE CUBES)

spigot: ICE ON THE MOON?!?!?! I THOUGHT YOU SAID ICE CREAM spigot: LET ME OUT OF THIS SHUTTLE (CLONKING, LATCHING) spigot: HOSES AND TUBES SPUTTERING AND SPURTING AND EJECTING MY SALTINES

effigy: I 💚 ICEBERG LETTUCE. IT IS THE BEST LETTUCE deuce: TOTES AGREE deuce: MANY OTHER LETTUCES ARE TOLERABLE BUT THAT IS THE BEST deuce: THEN AGAIN WE'RE IN CALIFORNIA effigy: EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST BITTER LEAVES effigy: ICEBERG BRINGS SOME MOISTURE effigy: TO THE PARTY

atandt: NAZI DOS ATTACKS

pants: T SPIGOT WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT NO QUEERS AFTER 10PM pants: T SPIGOT OH SORRY I THOUGHT YOU WERE THAT OTHER GUY pants: T DEUCE WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT NO QUEERS AFTER 10PM

pants: where's the key binding to dodge cum????????// deuce: `idkfa`

deuce: DO YOU THINK THAT IF ABRAHAM LINCOLN WERE ALIVE TODAY HE WOULD STILL LICK DICK spigot: LONG ENOUGH TO REACH THE GROUND

spigot: BLUH HUH WONDERING IF ANYONE CAN RECOMMEND A GOOD GAY JERK LOTION (NOT FOR ME) deuce: T SPIGOT BEST FOODS MAYONNAISE

spigot: IF ANYONE CAN HEAR ME SHOUTING I'M VERY MUCH ON FIRE!!!!!!

spigot: BONERS AND BALLS IN THE CRISPER IF ANYONE MISSED DINNER

pants: YES I WILL BE YOUR FLOWER GIRL pants: IF BY FLOWER YOU MEAN ANAL pants: AND IF BY GIRL ALSO MEAN ANAL

spigot: IF I WANTED TO FUCK YOU LADY I'D KNOCK YOU UNCONSCIOUS spigot: IF I WANTED CONVERSATION I'D GO TO A PROSTITUTE

spigot: if i can't touch my face can i touch your boobs

spigot: if i could do it all over again spigot: it'd do it all over your face spigot: again

deuce: IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF COCK I'D BE A GAMECOCK deuce: OR A FAT COCK deuce: ONE OF THOSE pants: FOR ME I'M TOTALLY A SHUTTLECOCK deuce: THAT'S A BETTER CHOICE, REALLY

spigot: WHEN'S JUDE LAW GONNA PULL A RIVER PHOENIX deuce: ANY DAY NOW pants: IF I HAD TO FUCK A ROBOT I'D LIKE IT IF IT LOOKED LIKE HIM

spigot: IF I STAND ON MY HEAD I CAN JIZZ ALL OVER MY OWN STUPID FACE

spigot: IF I WERE A VIDEO GAME I'D BE KLONKY DONG

spigot: IF I WERE GOD I'D CHANGE THE CHANNEL AND WATCH NOTHING BUT FUNNY EMBARRASSING MOMENTS FROM AMERICA'S GLORYHOLES (spigot): HERE'S WHERE THAT GUY GETS BUSTED BY THE VICE SQUAD AND THEY CUFF HIS NUTS

pants: SOLD TO THE RAPE VICTIM IN THE PAJAMAS deuce: OKAY GUYS HERE'S THE DEAL I DIDN'T RAPE THAT LITTLE BOY BUT IF I DID I WOULD BE REALLY SORRY deuce: CAN I GO NOW pants: I CAN GO HOME IF I TELL YOU HOW SORRY I AM (AS IF THE BOY WAS STANDING HERE HIMSELF!!!!!!) pants: SURELY YOU'LL LET ME OFF AS I HAVE A TINY PECKER

pants: IF I'M GONNA EAT THIS BURRITO I'D BETTER TAKE OFF MY SHIRT pants: HURRF pants: NURRRRRGGG pants: GURRRRRKKKTH SNAP PONK pants: MY VERA WANG pants: HUFF PUFF pants: HOMPTH HURMPTH pants: GROSS

spigot: DON'T BRING MORE FROZEN CORN DOGS INTO THE HOUSE UNTIL I'VE SAT ON THE EXISTING ONES pants: ARE YOU A COP pants: IF YOU ARE, YOU HAVE TO LICK MY DICK

spigot: "soaked" "drenched" "showered" spigot: folks if it dribbles it leads spigot: get me pics of spiderman pissing on people

net: IF SHE ONLY HAD A BIG FAT COCK deuce: OKAY YOU'RE GROSS

spigot: IF ONLY SOMEONE WERE HERE TO EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLACK HOLE AND A GLORY HOLE

spigot: WHY DOST THOU FLIP AND FLOP THY DONG BENEATH MY CHAMBER DOOR deuce: BY THAT DO YOU MEAN BEATING YOU SILLY AND SHOVING YOUR HEAD INTO A BATHTUB FULL OF WARM PISS deuce: IF SO COUNT ME IN ???

spigot: IF SOMEONE COULD PLEASE NOTICE ME spigot: SIR/MA'AM spigot: THE CAMERA FELL BEHIND THE DESK

deuce: IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP deuce: IF THAT'S WHERE I AM

spigot: SO IF WE LOOK AT YOUR PENIS WE WON'T FIND ANY GUNSHOT RESIDUE, IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING

deuce: IF THE WHOLE WORLD LICKS DICK IN UNISON WOULD ANYONE BE ABLE TO HEAR IT ?!?? OR WOULD IT ALL JUST CANCEL OUT spigot: I WILL ANSWER THAT QUESTION BY DRAGGING A STACK OF GAY PORN ONTO A DESKTOP PRINTER AND GOING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND deuce: GLHGALHGAHLAG spigot: THE ANSWER IS WE NEED MORE TONER AND SOMETHING IS JAMMED

deuce: IF THERE'S ONE THING THEY TEACH YOU IN THEORETICAL PHYSICS, IT'S NO CUM DODGING ALLOWED

spigot: GIVING YOU EVERY CHANCE IN THE WORLD TO BE FART SMART spigot: I FEEL LIKE MAYBE THE BUTT PLUG COUNCIL GOT TO YOU

deuce: THEORETICALLY, SOMEONE SOMEWHERE IS GETTING RAPED RIGHT NOW spigot: IF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS TRUE I STILL DON'T GIVE A SHIT

deuce: MY HEART SAYS NEVER TO POO AGAIN pants: WHAT DOES YOUR TOILET SAY deuce: IT SAYS IF WISHES WERE HORSES pants: HOLY SHIT ARE WISHES HORSES deuce: NO IT'S A SAYING deuce: THE FULL SAYING IS: IF WISHES WERE HORSES, I'D SUCK THAT DICK pants: WHAT IF I WISH FOR A HORSE AND GET THE HORSE deuce: THAT WOULD BE YOU WISHING FOR A HORSES, NOT WISHES BEING HORSES (I MEAN DUH???) deuce: HOWEVER YOU'D STILL HAVE TO SUCK THAT DICK pants: IF WE MAKE WISHES HORSES THEN DO HORSES BECOME SOMETHING ELSE pants: LIKE THOSE LITTLE PUMPKIN CANDIES THAT ONLY COME OUT AROUND HALLOWEEN pants: I COULD SURE GO FOR ONE BAG OF THOSE RIGHT NOW (TWO BAGS) pants: NUMEROUS SHOTS FIRED

pants: IF WISHES WERE WIENERS deuce: IF FISTS WERE FISHES pants: IF SNAILS WERE SOMETHING S-WORD deuce: IF SNAILS WERE SOCKS pants: SURE LET'S GO WITH SOCKS deuce: ... I'D FUCK 'EM pants: YOU FUCK THAT SOCK deuce: SNAIL pants: TAKE IT OFF MY FOOT FIRST PLEASE deuce: WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR FOOT IN A SNAIL??? deuce: NEVER MIND, FUCKING IT ANYWAY

.(pants): SOMEDAY I'M GONNA FUCK ME A PENGUIN pants: HELLO COCKMONSTER pants: IF YOU ARE NOT COCKMONSTER, CLICK HERE. ozone: I SAW YOU THINKING ABOUT FUCKING PENGUINS IN PANEL 1

spigot: T PANTS BLINK IF YOU CAN HEAR ME spigot: PULL MY DICK ONCE FOR YES AND FOUR HUNDRED TIMES FOR NO spigot: ARE YOU GAY pants: SURE

deuce: IF U CN RD THS, SCK M FCKNG CCK NTL T SPRTS LL VR R FC pants: (SQUINTING) pants: IF YOU CAN READ THIS, SUCK MY FUCKING COCK UNTIL IT SPURTS ALL OH GOD

spigot: IF YOU COULD ALL PLEASE BE QUIET deuce: HURBLBHLAHBAL pants: YEAH I HEAR YOU

deuce: T PANTS IF YOU COULD BE ANY FLIGHT MODE ANNUNCIATION, WHICH ONE WOULD YOU BE pants: T DEUCE I SUCK DICKS DEEP UNDERGROUND WHERE THE ELVES OF THE FOREST CAN'T CATCH ME BLOWING ORCS AND GOBLINS deuce: OBJECTION, NON-RESPONSIVE

pants: IF YOU CALL IT A SEX CRIME, I CALL IT ABSOLUTELY THE ONLY THING THAT GETS ME HARD pants: I CARE MORE ABOUT MY EGO THAN WHETHER YOU REQUIRE FOOD, WATER pants: I CAN'T BEAT OFF IF YOU CRY

spigot: WE DON'T COMMENT ON ACTIVE BEATOFFS spigot: IF YOU DON'T SEE THE TOILET, YOU ARE THE TOILET pants: NAPALM STICKS TO LITTLE GIRLS

pants: there's nothing "cool" about calling in sick to smoke dope and watch tv pants: don't beat me off if you don't mean it pants: i say this as a friend

pants: I pants: UH pants: WOULD LIKE TO pants: UH pants: BE GAY pants: UHM pants: ERR pants: WITH pants: UH pants: YOU pants: IF YOU DON'T MIND

deuce: BALLS pants: AYUH pants: IF YOU SEEK HIS MONUMENT LOOK AROUND YOU pants: PLUMPERS/PLUGGERS

pants: IF YOU TAKE BOTH, YOU'LL TAKE TOO MUCH pants: IF YOU TAKE BOTH, YOU'LL TAKE TOO MUCH pants: IF YOU TAK-- OH FUCK IT HALGHALGBLAGHL AHGL ANBG LHUA AG HLAG BNLAGH LBALG ALHAGHL BAGL HAGB LASLJDGB 88888888888888888888888