spigot: THANKS FOR RUINING DESSERT WITH PECANS AND CRANBERRIES spigot: KNOW WHAT THIS MINT CHOCOLATE FUDGE NEEDS? HARD POMEGRANATE SEEDS pants: EAT YOUR GROATCAKES

deuce: CAN WE JUST AGREE THAT MY WANG IS NOT A CARPET deuce: DON'T WIPE YOUR DIRTY FEET ON IT deuce: THANKS pants: I'VE GOT TO WIPE THEM SOMEWHERE deuce: I'M SAYING USE AN ACTUAL CARPET, NOT MY WANG (WHICH IS, AGAIN, NOT, I REPEAT NOT, A CARPET) deuce: IT'S NOT A RUG EITHER TO BE CLEAR pants: STILL THOUGH pants: WHY CAN'T WE JUST AGREE THAT IT IS WIPEABLE deuce: I'M NOT ARGUING THAT IT'S NOT WIPEABLE deuce: I'M SAYING IT'S NOT INTENDED FOR THAT PURPOSE deuce: AND REQUESTING EMPHATICALLY THAT YOU STOP USING IT FOR THAT PURPOSE deuce: PLEASE RATE, REVIEW AND SUBSCRIBE! TO _MY WANG IS NOT A CARPET, NOR IS IT A RUG FOR THAT MATTER_

spigot: THE ENGLISHMAN WHO WENT UP A HILL AND PUT A COCK IN HIS MOUTH AND I GUESS PLANS TO STAY UP THERE INDEFINITELY WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A TEXT

pants: ROSES ARE RED / MY LOVE pants: AND BONERS / ARE BLUE pants: YOU'RE SQUEEZING TOO TIGHT IS WHAT I'M SAYIN' HERE pants: JUST SAYIN'

deuce: IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING, HOLLOW IT OUT AND FUCK IT

spigot: GODDAMMIT WHO KEEPS FLUSHING MY POOS DOWN THE TOILET deuce: MY POOS ARE PLATONIC deuce: (IN THAT THEY ARE ALL SHAPED LIKE THE PLATONIC SOLIDS)

deuce: T EFFIGY MY CAT YAWNED, HOW COPY effigy: COPY THAT, CAT YAWNED, DON'T KNOW WHY deuce: COPY YOUR LAST, WILL ADVISE ON FUTURE CAT YAWNING UPDATES

spigot: WE'RE HERE spigot: WE'RE QUEER spigot: FLAME BROILED WHOPPERS

atandt: IF YOUR PHONE STILLWORKS YOU'RE NOT FIRED spigot: CAN SOMEONECHECK MY VOICEMAIL

deuce: LOOK I'M JUST GOING TO COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY IT deuce: DICKS ARE GROSS deuce: HLUGAULHGAULHGAULAHGAULHGLHUGALUHGAUHULGALUHGAUHLHGAUL

pants: CAN'T YOU BEAT OFF NORMALLY deuce: NO, I HAVE TO CRY REALLY LOUDLY

pants: DO THESE FATPANTS MAKE ME LOOK FAT (BRIEF FASHION SHOW ENSUES)

spigot: DOES BOSTON DYNAMICS MAKE LITERALLY NOTHING THAT SUCKS AND FUCKS deuce: THE BOSTON DYNAMICS AUTOJOB MARK II deuce: DON'T ASK WHAT HAPPENED THE OUR MARK I

deuce: IS SPIGOT DEAD pants: WHO deuce: HAS HE BEEN ERASED FROM THIS TIMELINE AND I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS HIM ????? deuce: LIKE THE BEATLES IN THAT FANTASTIC MOVIE _HEAT_ pants: THE LOOK ON ROBERT DENIRO’S FACE WHEN AL PACINO SANG “YELLOW SUBMARINE” WAS PRICELESS!!!!! pants: BECAUSE IT IS NOT A VERY GOOD SONG

deuce: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS HOWARD JONES AND HOWARD JOHNSON'S MIXED UP YES I AM OKAY THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION

pants: FARTS, FAT deuce: WE LIKE THE FARTS /THE FARTS THAT GO BOOM

deuce: FOLKS I PUT THE "IT" IN "SHIT"

deuce: I'M A SPARKLINE: FUCK MY BROWN ASS

spigot: LS -AL spigot: TRYING AGAIN spigot: LS -LA

pants: DOMESTIC TERRORISM AT THE US CAPITOL THREATENED DEMOCRACY deuce: AND WE DENOUNCE IT deuce: IN THESE TRYING TIMES WE'D LIKE TO TAKE A STAND ON ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT YET DIVISIVE ISSUES OF OUR TIME pants: BURGER KING’S DELICIOUS ALL BEEF FLAME BROILED WHOPPER deuce: THE $3 SNACK BOX INCLUDES 10 PC NUGGETS, 1 MED FRIES, 1 CHEESEBURGER, 1 SMALL SOFT DRINK deuce: EVERY DAY, MORE THAN 11 MILLION GUESTS VISIT BURGER KING® RESTAURANTS AROUND THE WORLD pants: BONEQUEST WOULD LIKE TO SALUTE OUR HEROES, OR WHOEVER STUCK AN ONION RING IN THE FRIES BECAUSE FUCK YEAH THAT’S THE BEST deuce: BURGER KING pants: HOME OF THE WHOPPER®

pants: DO YOU STILL FEEL LIKE STORMING THE CAPITOL LATER deuce: SURE pants: YOU BRING ZIP TIES AND I'LL BRING A VEGETABLE PLATE pants: WAIT NO I FEEL LIKE BRINGING A CASSEROLE

pants: SUCKED A DICK pants: ORWELLIAN STUFF

pants: YES AS A MATTER OF FACT I DID BRING ENOUGH DICK FOR THE WHOLE CLASS

spigot: SAD TO SEE YOU DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR MY SCIENCE OF THREE'S COMPANY CLASS deuce: 10 HOURS OF SIDESHOW BOB STEPPING ON RAKES

pants: THE DICKLICKER FACTORY CALLED!!!!!!!!!! pants: THEY HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT WORKING CONDITIONS AND WOULD BENEFIT FROM MORE SAFETY TRAINING

pants: BLACK BROWN RED ORANGE YELLOW GREEN BLUE VIOLET GREY WHITE pants: :POINT_UP: ALL THE GENDERS deuce: WHY DID YOU IGNORE MAUVE YOU BIGOT pants: BECAUSE IT’S NOT A VALID RESISTOR COLOR

spigot: WANNA KNOW WHY I LICKED THOSE DICKS spigot: IT WAS OUTTA RESPECT

pants: I WANT TO BE LOVED BWAHHHH

pants: MAKE SURE YOU COUNT HOW MANY COWS YOU SEE, I WANT A FULL REPORT deuce: ALL OUT OF COWS

pants: WHAT THE HELL IS A HARDCOPY PRINTOUT WHAT KIND OF SCI-FI IS THIS deuce: ADOBE ACROBAT

deuce: :-O pants: I WANT TO RIP YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND PISS ON YOUR TITS deuce: :-|

dick: I SPY WITH MY SAME SEX EYE SOME SAME SEX SEX WITH A SAME SEX GUY

deuce: I'M GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE INNOVATION OF CRISPR TO MAKE MY BONER WORK (WHAT) (DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD) (/QUIT) (OH GOD OH GOD HOW DO I STOP THIS THING) (FUCK FUCK I CAN'T FIND THE OFF SWITCH) (COMPUTER, STOP) (COMPUTER, END) (COMPUTER, FUCK YOU) (FUCK FUCK FUCK) (CHRIST ON A CRUTCH I WAS DOING GREAT RIGHT UP TO THIS POINT AND NOW EVERYONE WILL KNOW) (FOR FUCK'S SAKE CAN'T I INVENT A TIME MACHINE OR SOMETHING TO TAKE THIS ALL BACK) (JESUS, JESUS, IF YOU'RE UP THERE, PLEASE READ THIS: REMOVE THIS BONEQUEST STRIP) (GOD NO) (WHAT WILL I DO NOW) (ONLY ONE THING TO DO) (SLIT WRISTS) (DEAD)

pants: :CUP_WITH_STRAW: SIPPING THE PISS deuce: YOU'RE MORE OF APISS SIPPER(AS OPPOSED TOA PISS GULPER)

deuce: DO I REALLY NEED TO SEE THIS PORN STARLET'S ACNE IN 4K? ANSWER: NO

deuce: LAME spigot: L pants: HOMPTH HURMPTH deuce: WHAT ARE YOU EATING pants: SPLBTH MOTHING deuce: LORD GOD spigot: L G deuce: ANSWER ME GODDAMIT pants: LITTLE GOLDEN BOOKS spigot: L G B deuce: YOU'RE AN IDIOT pants: NOT A REAL WORD deuce: PUNCH POUND SHUT UP pants: PUNCH POUND I'M HITTING MYSELF pants: OW OW MY SHIRT AND PANTS deuce: LOOKIN' GOOD BITCH TITS spigot: L G B T deuce: I WILL CUT YOUR GODDAMN HEAD OFF pants: LET'S GARGLE BONERS TOGETHER QUIETLY spigot: * * * L G B T Q * * * spigot: * * * * * * * * * * * * H A P P Y :HATCHING_CHICK: E A S T E R * * * * * * * * * * * *

spigot: NEED SOMEONE TO CONFIGURE MY TCP/IP TO THE PPP TO MY ISP TO THE LAN TO THE WAN TO THE LDAP TO THE INTERNET SO I CAN DO BUILDS deuce: T SPIGOT I LIKE THE SPRITE IN YOU

pants: SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG WITH MY BEATOFF TECHNIQUE deuce: IT'S PEDESTRIANAT BEST pants: SHEETROCK DAMAGE pants: STUCK IN CRAWLSPACE deuce: AMATEURISH pants: AND NOW I HAVE SOME EXCITING NEWS: pants: [SUCKS ALL THE DICKS]

spigot: WANNA FEEL OLD:1998 WAS 3 YEARS AGO

spigot: REID FLEMING IS BACK IN MY LIFE AND I FUCKING HATE IT deuce: WHO'S THAT spigot: JUST SOME IDIOT spigot: OH GOD I JUST WANT TO DIE

deuce: LET'S HEAR IT FOR PACKET LOSS spigot: LIKE WHEN I STEP ON A KETCHUP THING AND IT SQUIRTS ON A LADY spigot: I NEVER WANT THE PANDEMIC TO BE OVER, I WANT TO STAY AT HOME FOREVER AND I WANT MORE PEOPLE TO DIE AND BE DEAD spigot: IT'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT AND FAIR THAT I CAN'T SEE ANYONE'S STUPID FACE ANYMORE AND NOBODY CAN SEE MINE spigot: WE SHOULD OPEN SCHOOLS THOUGH, LET'S GET THOSE KIDS BACK INTO CROWDED HOSPITAL PARKING LOTS spigot: AND CHURCHES CAN STAY OPEN RE: HEAVEN deuce: ALSO SERIOUSLY TIRED OF SMELLING CAT PISS spigot: DID YOU CHECK THE CAT deuce: WHAT CAT

deuce: I THOUGHT I FUCKED A GIRL IN THE BUTTHOLE ONCE BUT IT TURNED OUT IT WAS JUST HER MOUTH pants: WAS IT EVEN A GIRLOR JUST SOME KIND OFPLANT/FLOWER

pants: WE SHALL NEVER SURRENDER deuce: I WOULD SUCK CHURCHILL OFF IF HE WERE A REAL PERSON deuce: WHO SAID THAT NOT ME THAT'S WHO

spigot: BETTER JUST DRAG THIS PORN .MP4 ACROSS THE FULL WIDTH OF MY DESKTOP OVER WORK CHAT TO THE MEDIA PLA OOPS DROPPED IT

pants: CHRIST CRAPS IN MY HAND effigy: IS IN HIS OWN VISAGE? pants: AND MY HAND

deuce: ARE YOU W OR Q pants: Q deuce: I SEE pants: FFF deuce: DO YOU WANT TO Q MY A pants: WHAT ABOUTYOUR E deuce: IT'S X

pants: WHAT'S THE MOST YOU'VE EVER LOST IN A COIN TOSS deuce: I DON'T KNOW I COULDN'T SAY pants: WATCH ME BEAT OFF

spigot: THEY SHOULD MAKE PORN FOR GUYS

deuce: IF YOU THINK YOU'RE HAVING A HEART ATTACK SHOULD YOU FLAP YOUR ARMS REALLY VIGOROUSLY AND MAKE BIRD SOUNDS deuce: ASKING FOR A FRIEND pants: ARE YOU CHEST PAINS

spigot: ALICIA POZ spigot: ISABELLA HIV deuce: CHRISTINA EBOLA spigot: KRISZTINA deuce: WAIT THERE ALREADY IS ONE OF THOSE (CHRISTINA BELLA) spigot: UM EXCUSE ME BUT KRISTINA BELLA IS ONE OF THE ALL-TIME GREATS deuce: THEN WHY DOES SHE HAVE EBOLA spigot: I'VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU spigot: AND I HOPE YOU CAN HEAR ME spigot: FUCK YOUR STUPID FACE

pants: THE POO BUCKET IS FULL deuce: WHATEVER YOU DO,DON'T EMPTY IT deuce: (BECAUSE THEN IT WILL NO LONGER BE FULL) pants: IF I TRANSFER THE CONTENTS TO ANOTHER BUCKET WILL YOU PLEASE WATCH ME BEAT OFF ON CAM

bung: LETS ALL PUT 45 RMP RECORDSON OUR DICKS AND SHOOTSOME ALBUM COVERS!!!! spigot: I CAN'TGET IT UP spigot: PLUS I'M OPERATINGAT 33 RPM bung: 33 1/3 spigot: YES BUT ISPELLED RPMRIGHT

spigot: THEY'RE CALLED TRAPS BECAUSE IF YOU LOAD UP ON DICK YOU DON'T HAVE ROOM FOR DINNER

spigot: PUSHING A PENCIL THROUGH FOLDED PAPER TO DEMONSTRATE HOW I WAS FUCKED IN THE ASS BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS IN TIME BY WAY OF A TEMPORAL POKING MOVEMENT deuce: YOU RUINED MY CENTERFOLD PINUP pants: BIG MAN WITH HIS BIG WORDS

spigot: WHERES MY `GODDAMN` BQ STRIP spigot: WHAT ARE YOU DOING STEPBROTHER spigot: OH YOU'RE AVA DEVINE

deuce: EXPORT CLASSPATH=BIG:FAT:PRICKS deuce: BOFH !!!!!!! deuce: OH GOD YOU ARE REALLY POKING AND PRODDING ME deuce: MY TENDERLOINS

spigot: DREIDEL DREIDEL DREIDEL / IT'S POKING IN MY FACE spigot: OH DREIDEL DREIDEL DREIDEL spigot: I'M JUST A BIG DISGRACE

deuce: I HAVE A DICK pants: OH YOU DO NOT pants: STOP DICKTENDING deuce: DICKDREAMING pants: DAYDICKING deuce: DICKLYING pants: THE BUSINESS OF DICK deuce: DICKAGGERATING pants: T DEUCE I HAVE A 20-MINUTE ANNOUNCEMENT THAT I’D LIKE TO PLAY AT THE START OF OUR NEXT PODCAST EPISODE (IT COVERS WHY WE HAVEN’T BEEN PODCASTING LATELY)

spigot: OKAY SO HBO MAX DOCUMENTARIES ARE JUST CLIP ART CONTENT FARMS, GOT IT deuce: FLYOVER FOOTAGE OF FLYOVER STATES spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO BUST A MOVE ON CBS ALL-ACCESS TELEVISION WEARING NOTHING BUT A TWIX deuce: :NOTES: PUTTING LATKES IN MY MOUTH :NOTES: DOO DAH / DOO DAH spigot: NETFLIX PRESENTS THE SHUTTERSTOCK MURDER deuce: HALLMARK PRESENTS THE YOU MURDER

spigot: ONE LOAF OF GARLIC BREAD WHILE I WAIT IN LINE, ONE LOAF OF GARLIC BREAD AS I WALK BACK TO THE CAR, ONE OR TWO LOAVES OF GARLIC BREAD ON THE DRIVE HOME — AND THEN AT NIGHT, IN BED, A SENSIBLE SELECTION OF GARLIC BREADS

pants: CHECK IT OUT MY BONER IS BECOMING SELF-AWARE (MAKING YOU LOOK) deuce: IT LOOKS LIKE A CURLY LITTLE PIG TAIL pants: YANK IT

spigot: SOMEWHAT SERIOUS SUGGESTION THAT WE GET INTO THE CRYPTO-ART RACKET pants: HLAHGULAHLGHAG pants: SORRY pants: YOU WERE SAYING

pants: I WILL NEVER STOP USING THE MASTER BRANCH

deuce: NOTHING WORSE THAN BEING SHOT AT 9:32 AM spigot: BEFORE YOUR COFFEE

effigy: I THINK I FIGURED OUT WHY ARBY'S IS SUCH GOOD HANGOVER FOOD (RE: ME EATING THERE EVERY NIGHT) - IT IS SO SALTY THAT YOU GET ALL YOUR ELECTROLYTES BACK LIKE YOU DRANK 10 GATORADES (GO FIGURE) effigy: GO ARBY'S effigy: WHY ON EARTH AM I UP? pants: SAME, SAME effigy: WELP, HEADING TO ARBY'S pants: YOUR BEST BUYS / :SPARKLES: :SPARKLES: :SPARKLES: / ARE ALWAYS / AT :ARBYS:

deuce: FOLKS ON THIS COMPANY ALL-HANDS MEETING I'D LIKE TO DECLARE MY LOVE FOR DICK pants: AND PRICK????? deuce: DON'T BE RIDICULOUS pants: I WENT TOO FAR AGAIN

deuce: PLEASE RATE OUR APP pants: THIS IS ALL VERY EXCITING BUT I’M A FAG

spigot: A :POTATO: IN MY :PANTS:

spigot: IS THERE ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT USER FRIENDLY STILL BEING ALIVE spigot: I MEAN BESIDES 9/11 AND THE DOT COM CRASH AND 8 YEARS OF BUSH AND THE HOUSING BUBBLE AND THE BANK BAILOUTS AND ISIS AND TRUMP AND COVID-19

dick: IF THEY CAN PUT A MAN ON THE MOON YOU CAN SURE AS HECK QUIT RAPING ME deuce: DAS BOOT

deuce: T PANTS I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO DELIVER THE NEWS IN THESE TROUBLED TIMES deuce: BUT BEFORE WE GO ON I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING I MUST TELL YOU: deuce: YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET IT pants: YOUR LOVING????? deuce: NEVER EVER GONNA GET IT pants: I MEAN SURELY AT SOME POINT IN TIME I WILL HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO GET IT pants: THERE’S GOT TO BE AN UPPER BOUND OR A TIME OUT AT WHICH POINT IT SHOULD BE AVAILABLE deuce: MMMM BOP (NOPE)

deuce: THIS AIN'T MINECRAFT!!!!!!!!!! deuce: AN XXX PARODY

pants: I'M A CHEETAH GIRL deuce: GET CRACKIN' CHEETAHGIRL, THERE'SYARDWORK TO DO

deuce: SAY IT WITH ME: deuce: MUSTARD IS THE BEST TARD

spigot: IF YOU LICK A DICKIN THE WOODS spigot: AND NOBODYIS AROUND TO HEAR IT spigot: WHERE DID IT COME FROM

spigot: CYBERCALIFRAGILISTIC- EXPIALIDOCIOUS !!!!!! TIMECARDS dick: CLONE WARS

spigot: THE ***FAT GUY***AND THE ***OTHER ONE***(AT THE MOVIES) deuce: THE TALENTLESS FUCK AND THE OTHER, LESS WELL-KNOWN, TALENTLESS FUCK

spigot: ON THE COUNT OF THREE EVERYBODY LICK MY DICK spigot: ONE spigot: HANG ON I CAN'T GET IT UP spigot: FUCK THIS

deuce: BECAUSE PRICKS pants: DID YOU MEAN _FELLMONGER_

spigot: THE IMMERSIVE VAN GOGH EXHIBIT AT SF MOMA JUST CUTS YOUR PENIS OFF spigot: * * * AND * * *THEY DO THE WRONG PENIS

deuce: LET'S CHECK MY KANBAN BOARD FOR GOATS, PEANUTS

pants: I NEED A SECOND MONITOR SO I CAN JUST HAVE THIS LADY WITH ME AT ALL TIMES spigot: PANTS JUST ADMITTED HE DOESN'T HAVE A SECOND MONITOR deuce: SHOULD WEBAN HIM THEN

pants: RIP OFF MY HEAD, SHIT DOWN MY NECK BUT THEN WHEN YOU ARE DONE PLEASE REPLACE MY HEAD deuce: ME AND MY HEAD OR ME AND MY BODY

pants: WOULD SIR CARE TO WATCH ME BEAT OFF ON WEB CAM deuce: N pants: I WILL NEVER STOP ASKING deuce: I KNOW deuce: YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF MODIFYING YOUR BEHAVIOR BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE CUTE deuce: OKAY YOU'RE NOT REALLY THAT CUTE pants: NO NO I’M CUTE pants: I CAN HANDLE THINGS pants: I’M SMART pants: NOT LIKE EVERYBODY SAYS pants: LIKE DUMB pants: I’M SMART AND I WANT RESPECT pants: BUT YES I AM ALSO CUTE

spigot: DID YOU PUT BONEQUEST ON THE MOON AS A PRANK

pants: OKAY BUT I’M NEW AT THIS AND I’VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE pants: LET’S USE STALL #2 pants: IT’S SOMEWHAT CLEANER AND THERE’S NO SPIDERS

pants: PLEASE SUCK IT pants: AND/OR JACK ME OFF pants: I’M HORNY FOR SNAILS pants: REALLY ANY SORT OF INVERTEBRATES deuce: CRUSTACEANS ARE GAY pants: AMPHIBIANS ARE BI deuce: TOTALLY BI deuce: CETACEANS ARE STRAIGHT AS FUCK (AF) pants: IF I HAD TOP-LEVEL EYES LIKE THAT I’D BE SCANNING BOTH DIRECTIONS FOR DICK

deuce: NOBODY LOVES ME pants: WALK IT OFF

dick: GUYS WHO LIKE GUYS LIKE GUYS

spigot: WILL YOU PLEASE GET YOUR PILOT'S LICENSEAND PLOW A PLANE INTO THE NEW APPLE BUILDING deuce: DONE AND DONE

spigot: JUST PUT THE SETUP IN THE TITLE AND THE PUNCHLINE IN THE GREY TEXT IF YOU'RE SO GODDAMN LAZY deuce: I WILL spigot: THEN YOUR "USERBASE" CAN CLIP AND SAVE FRAME ZERO LIKE A LAUNDRY TICKET AND ENJOY THEIR FAGGOTY FRIDAY FUCKTOONS ON THE BUS deuce: YOU'RE AFRAME ZERO spigot: AND YOU'RE ACTUALLY AFRAME :POINT_RIGHT: :POINT_RIGHT: :POINT_RIGHT: DICKLICKER :POINT_LEFT: :POINT_LEFT: :POINT_LEFT: IF YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT ????? pants: FOLKS, FOLKS deuce: AS USUAL, FUCKNUT HEREIS MAKING THINGS HARDERBUT NOT BETTER spigot: THE HARD DATA PROVESEVERYONE IS A SHITHEADEXCEPT ME pants: SHHHHHHH spigot: HE IS LITERALLY PUTTING THE STUPIDEST NOT-FUNNY SHIT IN HERE deuce: IT IS LITERALLY ALL STUPID NOT-FUNNY SHIT YOU FUCKING BUFFOON pants: SHHHHHHHH spigot: BUT SOME IS BETTER deuce: YOU ARE MADEOF GARBAGE pants: SHHHHHHHH pants: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

spigot: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG:ALL SET TO ENTER THE QUEER TIER:HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG: :HOT_DOG:

effigy: WWWDDWWAAAAAWWDDWWAAAWWWSS effigy: THIS GAME SUX :: LEFT THE ROOM.

pants: I NEED A HUG deuce: I WILL GIVE YOU ONE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE

deuce: WE WILL CELEBRATE WITH A BONGHIT

spigot: THE DREADED LATE-NIGHT CYBERSQUIRTS

pants: T DEUCE WHEN THE LARGE ALIEN THREW CAPTAIN KIRK ONTO THE BED I GOT THE HARDEST BONER I’VE EVER GOTTEN AM I GAY deuce: SHORT VERSION, YES deuce: LONG VERSION, YYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

deuce: I SUGGEST WE INVESTIGATE TRANSFORMING BONEQUEST INTO MORE OF A CAAS (COCKS AS A SERVICE) MODEL pants: BACKED BY THE DICKS GEM

deuce: QUEERBO ISLE deuce: IT'S MORE OF A PENINSULA REALLY DEPENDING ON THE TIME OF YEAR

pants: AN OVERWORKED MOM OR A LESBIAN OF COLOR spigot: ONCE AGAIN CELEBRATING JON POLITO'S UTTERLY THANKLESS ROLE IN BARTON FINK

spigot: YOU MIGHT SAY I'M THE****** BAD BOY ******OF DICKLICKING spigot: IN THAT I AM BAD AT IT deuce: #DISBELIEF #DENIAL #GUILT #ANGER #BARGAINING #DEPRESSION #ACCEPTANCE

pants: T DEUCE ARE YOU READY FOR WHITE BOY SUMMER deuce: PROB NOT

spigot: CAN WE THINK OF A BETTER NAME FOR MAN THAN 'HOMO' spigot: HOMO ERECTUS spigot: SEE THIS IS WHY EVERYTHING IS FAKE

spigot: SHOULD WE APOLOGIZE FOR ALL OUR ANTI-ASIAN BQ STRIPS AND RETIRE JEAN-CHARLES

deuce: AIR RAID deuce: PEARL HARBOR deuce: THIS IS NO DRILL

pants: FUCK NOSTALGIA, THE PAST IS GAY deuce: THE FUTURE:WAY GAYER

spigot: AM I THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF DRINKING 12 CANS OF GUINNESS BEFORE NOON WHERE'S MY GODDAMN PARADE DOWN QUEER STREET pants: IS THAT THE SAMETHING AS A JUICE CLEANSE

deuce: NO POOPS SO FAR

spigot: T PANTS DEUCE IS HERE WITH A BIG SAUSAGE PIZZA

deuce: WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I THINK I HAVE AIDS deuce: NOTHING RIGHT deuce: THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, THANKS

spigot: OPENING THE MORNING PAPER EVERY DAY TO SEE IF I'VE BEEN CANCELLED OR #METOO'D deuce: MY NAME IS MATT GAETZ AND I LOVE PENIS MORE THAN YOU LOVE LIFE pants: LOVE 2 VANDALIZE THE ENCYCLOPEDIA

deuce: TOM AND JERRY WERE NOT GAY pants: TRUE

spigot: I'M A KQED KID spigot: PUNCH POUND STAIRS

deuce: CHECK OUT MY HUGE PENIS: :GLASS_OF_MILK: pants: WE HAVE LOTS OF PRETTY PICKLES WAITING FOR YOU AT THE REFRESHMENT CENTER deuce: CLARIFY: WHATMANNER OF PICKLES pants: I SUCK DICK IN THE BATHROOM deuce: PICKLES ARECUCUMBERS WITHCHARACTER

spigot: GOTTA BACK IN WITH A 3-POINT TURN AND PARALLEL PARK MY SPLATTERY SPLURTS spigot: BEEP spigot: BEEP spigot: BEEP

deuce: I'M JOINING A NUDIST COLONY deuce: GETTING KICKED OUT OF SAID COLONY FOR UNSPECIFIED REASONS

spigot: THAT IS WHEN HE FINALLY ADMITTED THAT HE WAS AT THE LOCATION WHERE THE WOMAN HAD SPOTTED HIM, BUT SAID HE ONLY PULLED OUT HIS PENIS TO PLAY WITH IT AS PART OF THE DIGESTION PROCESS AFTER HAVING A BIG BREAKFAST. deuce: ISN'T THAT ALWAYS HOW IT WORKS spigot: IT'S NOT SEXUAL ASSAULT IF YOU SNEAK IN ONE KISS

deuce: MORE DONGS THAN A SINGLE PERSON CAN BEAR deuce: WAIT, CHECK THAT deuce: I'M GOOD

pants: MOOOOOOOOOOOO deuce: MILKING YOU pants: B-BUT I'M A GOAT pants: A GOAT ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! deuce: MILKING YOU pants: A GOAT

pants: A SERIES OF DISGUSTING FARTS FILLED THE ROOM deuce: PANTS-MADE FARTS

deuce: LOOK, NEW RULE deuce: NO DICKSUCKING FOR 24 HOURS deuce: OKAY SUSPENDING NEW RULE (SUCK THIS)

pants: HOW LONG IS A PIECE OF STRING (TIED AROUND MY WIENER WITH THE OTHER END TIED TO THE DOOR KNOB ) deuce: IF YOU'RE TYING ONE END OF THE STRING TO YOUR WANG AND THE OTHER TO A DOORKNOB ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL YOUR WIENER OFF AS IF IT'S A BAD TOOTH deuce: PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL BACK AT 555 UP YOUR FAT ASS

pants: HELP I THINK MY CAMERA IS BROKEN EVERY PICTURE I TAKE MAKES ME LOOK DOPEY AND MIDDLE-AGED deuce: DID YOU TRY THE ANTI-FUCKFACE LENS pants: YES THAT'S THE FIRST THING I TRIED deuce: DID IT REPORT A SPECIFIC ERROR pants: IT APPEARS TO BE OPERATING NORMALLY, WHEN I TAKE A SELFIE THE IMAGE SHOWS AN IDIOT FATSO INSTEAD OF ME pants: NOT SURE IF THIS HELPS BUT THE MIRRORS IN MY HOUSE HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM

spigot: HAVE YOU MADE ANY EFFORT WHATSOEVER TOWARD ELIMINATING SINGLE-USE BUTTPLUGS AND REDUCING YOUR CARBON ASSPRINT

deuce: I'M SAYING THAT WHATEVER I AM, AND IT'S NOT REALLY CLEAR AT THIS POINT deuce: IT'S THE DIAMETRICAL OPPOSITE OF GAY deuce: THERE'S GAY AND THEN THERE'S ME deuce: TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS deuce: CAN WE MAKE A CHANNEL #NOT-GAY THAT ONLY I CAN JOIN TO DEMONSTRATE THIS FACT deuce: HELLO IS THIS THING EVEN ON pants: I BELIEVE YOUHONEY NOW FOLLOWME TO THEBATHROOM deuce: WAIT THIS ISN'T THE BATHROO deuce: GREAT I FELL INTO ANOTHER WORMHOLE

spigot: BARELY BARELY BARELY SQUINTING AT THE SCREEN AND COVERING MY EYES AS I OPEN MY PERFORMANCE REVIEW spigot: GLIMPSED "MEETS EXPECTATIONS" / CLOSED REVIEW FOREVER

pants: HI I'M AN 850 LINE FUNCTION THAT DOES A LOT OF THINGS BUT NONE OF THEM WELL spigot: COM PU TOR

pants: :WAVE: JERK OFF :SWEAT_DROPS::SWEAT_DROPS::SWEAT_DROPS: WITH RANDOM TEENS - BEST WEBCAMCHAT EVER :HEART_EYES:! spigot: SULLEN LAZY TEENS spigot: WITH MOM YELLING AT THEM TO TAKE THEIR TOPS OFF

pants: BUTTER ME UP deuce: SMEAR ME WITHMARGARINE(BUT NOT BUTTER) pants: T DEUCE NOBODY SUCKS DICK IN THE BATHROOM IT WAS ALL A CLEVER RUSE deuce: YOU WEREDEAD THISWHOLE TIME pants: BE GOOD TO ME deuce: NEVER

spigot: IN SOVIET RUSSIA CRAIGSLIST SCAM **YOU** spigot: OKAY TAKING A BONGHIT TO BE FUNNIER

spigot: I'M A BLUE-CHIP DICKLICKER pants: I'M SIMPLY A BLUE-COLLAR COCKSUCKER

pants: MY WIFE AND I NOTICED YOU FROM ACROSS THE BAR spigot: COULD WE GETSOME MOREBREADSTICKS PLEASE

pants: PERVERTS AND INVERTS deuce: INCELS AND CEL SHADERS pants: JET SET RADIO FUTURE BUT ALSO DUNE II spigot: THE F WORD IS ACTUALLY AN OFFENSIVE WORD

pants: THE BONERS ARE ON FIRE pants: THE BONERS ARE ON FIRE deuce: FUCKING PUT THEM OUT pants: THE BONERS ARE ON FIRE

spigot: NO OFFENSE BUT YOUR MOUTH IS LIKE AN ANCHOR AROUND MY DICK

pants: ANYWAY: WATCH ME BEAT OFF ON CAM deuce: WHY DO YOU THINK I GOT THE POPCORN deuce: NOW THEN deuce: SHOW FEET BB deuce: SPIT ON TIT 20 TOK pants: TURN CAMERA OFF AND GO BACK TO COLLEGE 40 TOK

spigot: CLOSING THE DOOR AND DECLARING WANKRUPTCY spigot: (FAPTER 11)

pants: MY BALLS ARE BURNING pants: NO WAIT THAT'S YOUAND YOUR ZIPPO/BIC deuce: THE MORE YOU SQUIRM THELONGER THESE MARSHMALLOWSARE GOING TO TAKE pants: THOSE ARE MY TENDERABLES deuce: SUCKS TO YOUR ASSMAR

spigot: I NEVER GOT THE JO INSTRUCTIONS SO I LACK JO ENCOURAGEMENT

pants: CHICKEN COX deuce: SMALL COX??? deuce: PERHAPS COW COX pants: MAD OW A DICK IS IN MY BUTT DISEASE

spigot: IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A GIRAFFE pants: IT’S A BABY GIRAFFE

effigy: WHEN IS SOMEBODY GOING TO REBOOT GOLDEN GIRLS??? pants: EXCEPT WITH MEN pants: AND THEY’RE NOT OLD pants: AND THEY’RE DOIN’ IT

spigot: MORE LIKE THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT ALL YOUR EMAILS

pants: GYPSY PISS IS BY FAR THE WORST

spigot: :NOTES: IF YOU'RE FOND OF SAND DUNES / AND BIG LONG DONGS spigot: :NOTES: QUAINT LITTLE PENISES / STUCK IN BONGS

spigot: I'M A CYBER_AD spigot: WHICH; spigot: MAKES_NO spigot: FUCKING SENSE

atandt: EZRA POUND AND E.E. CUMMINGS ????? spigot: EZRA POUND MY FACE INTO THE CARPET MORE LIKE IT spigot: WHO WANTS ANOTHER MUG OF FAG NOG

pants: I HAVE SEENDEUCE'S MANCUNT deuce: IT IS MADE OF CHEDDAR pants: VERY UPSET pants: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SWISS deuce: LET'S MAKE IT GOUDAAND CALL IT A WRAP

deuce: ALL DEAD HERE pants: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA pants: NOBODY’S DEAD pants: WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY SUCH A THING pants: GOD FORBID

deuce: :PEANUTS: :POPCORN: :GIFT:

deuce: IN THE BUTT deuce: IT HURTS deuce: IN THE BUTT deuce: IT SQUIRTS deuce: IN THE BUTT deuce: IN deuce: THE deuce: BUTT

pants: WHAT ABOUT THAT DOORBELL spigot: DING DUH

pants: GOD LOVES SWIFT JUSTICEDONE TO UNLICKED DICKS deuce: CIRCUMCISIONSALL AROUND

spigot: SO IN LIKE 1 HOUR IT'LL BE NOON AND THEN A COUPLE HOURS LATER IT'LL BE BEDTIME SO WHY THE FUCK IS THERE EVEN LIFE ON EARTH

pants: ISRAEL IS COMMITTING GENOCIDE pants: TAIWAN IS A COUNTRY pants: CHINA OPERATES CONCENTRATION CAMPS pants: TRUMP WILL NEVER BE PROSECUTED pants: THE LAB LEAK THEORY IS UTTERLY IMPLAUSIBLE pants: JEFFREY EPSTEIN HUNG HIMSELF pants: AREA 51 IS JUST A TRAINING RANGE pants: THE SPANISH DID NOT SINK THE USS MAINE pants: BUZZ ALDRIN WILL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU SAY SHIT ABOUT THE MOON LANDING pants: MCCARTHY HELD A LIST OF SPIES IN HIS HANDS pants: ASHLI BABBITT'S KILLER WILL NOT BE PROSECUTED pants: YOU LOOK CUTE IN THAT TOP pants: YES YOU TOTALLY DO pants: OMG SO CUTE

deuce: WATCH ME DRINK THISBEER, FUCKFACE

spigot: M - I - C spigot: ***GAY*** E - Y spigot: DO YOU LIKE MY MARK RUSSELLTOTEBAG deuce: CLEARLY I DO NOT spigot: JUST A TENTHOUSAND DOLLARPLEDGE TO KQED spigot: SHALL WEFIND AN ATM

:GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR NEIGHBORHOOD

spigot: REPEATEDLY EXPOSING MYSELF ON THE SETS OF BBC'S DOCTOR WHO spigot: NNGG EXTERMINATE spigot: LOOK (WAGGLING IT) spigot: PLEASE L:EYES:K AT MY PENIS

pants: PLEASE FART ON ME deuce: FARTING ON YOU, AYE pants: BEING FARTED ON

pants: I’M TRY-SEXUAL!!!!!! BECAUSE I’M A CONVICTED PEDOPHILE deuce: GET IT??? I **TRY-ED** EVERYTHING AND PAID THE PRICE OF INCARERATION AND HAVING TO REGISTER WHENEVER I MOVE BETWEEN STATES pants: JACKOFF POLICE pants: I JUST HAD SURGERY AND I’M NOT ALLOWED TO SUCK ANY SWEATY BROWN DICKS

spigot: IF THE UNIVERSE IS EXPANDING MAYBE WE SHOULD STAND 100 FEET AWAY FROM EACH OTHER AND THEN 1000 FEET spigot: INDIANA JONES AND THE POO IN MY PANTS spigot: I'M THE ONLY HILARIOUS ONE TODAY, GOT IT

pants: WHO LIKES BONERS ???????????? pants: SHOW OF HANDS PEOPLE deuce: I DON'T pants: I SEE deuce: DICKS

pants: IS THIS CHURCH spigot: THIS IS THE THE CAR WASH pants: IS CHURCH SERVICE MANDATORY IF I ONLY WANT UNLEADED spigot: THIS IS THE CAR WASH pants: BUT I CAN PRAY HERE RIGHT deuce: OH GOD OH GOD WHEN WILL THIS BE DONE I HAVE TO POO SO BAD

pants: I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT "YOU ARE IN ME" pants: I AM NOT AMUSED pants: HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR MASSIVE GAYNESS

pants: NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO REVISIT MY NUTS AND BALLS deuce: WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME pants: NUTS AND BALLS

spigot: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: MY DOCUMENTS :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER:

pants: NUTS FOR BREAKFAST

net: WELL, WE WILL HAVE SUCH A PROLOGUE; AND IT SHALL BE written: EIGHT AND SIX atandt: NO, MAKE IT TWO MORE; LET IT BE WRITTEN IN EIGHT AND EIGHT ozone: WILL NOT THE LADIES BE AFEARD OF THE LION? pants: I FEAR IT, I PROMISE YOU atandt: MASTERS, YOU OUGHT TO CONSIDER WITH YOURSELVES: TO BRING IN -- GOD SHIELD US! -- A LION AMONG LADIES, IS A MOST DREADFUL THING; atandt: FOR THERE IS NOT A MORE FEARFUL WILD-FOWL THAN YOUR LION LIVING; AND WE OUGHT TO LOOK TO 'T ozone: THEREFORE ANOTHER PROLOGUE MUST TELL HE IS NOT A LION

spigot: WELL IT SOUNDS LIKE THERANOS ALL OVER AGAIN WHERE I PUT MY PENIS IN A MAGIC BOX AND IT "JUST WORKS" deuce: ONLY NEED ONE TINY DROP OF SEMEN pants: BUT WHERE TO DEPOSIT THE SEMEN <COYPANTS.GIF> spigot: I USED THE BOOK RETURN AT THE CUPERTINO LIBRARY pants: THAT IS FOR SQUIRRELS AND PISS BOTTLES ONLY

spigot: HOW ABOUT A DIAPER THREAD spigot: FORCIBLE RAPE, FORCIBLE ORAL COPULATION, SEXUAL PENETRATION BY USE OF FORCE, AND SEXUAL BATTERY BY RESTRAINT spigot: YAHTZEE spigot: PROBABLY NEED TO ORDER SEVERAL POUNDS OF SEE'S CANDY

spigot: YOUR SEE'S CANDIES ORDER HAS SHIPPED spigot: ONE MARSHMALLOW CREME FOR EVERY VICTIM OF 9/11 spigot: "VICTIM" spigot: IF THOSE TOWERS WEREN'T DRESSED LIKE THAT

pants: DICKS (AND I WANT THEM NOW)

spigot: DEMOTED OR PROMOTED TO BREAD GUY FOR THE WHOLE COMMUNITY spigot: :BELL: NNGG DING DING :BREAD: :CROISSANT: :BAGUETTE_BREAD: spigot: SOMEONE IS STUFFING ECLAIRS IN OUR EXHAUST PIPE

atandt: MY LIPS GET CHAPPED AFTER WANG PARTIES atandt: YET I STILL GO deuce: ROGER THAT

spigot: I USE GENTOO AND I AM TRANS

deuce: I SEEM TO HAVE TRIPPED ON MY DONG AGAIN deuce: I KIND OF WISH I HADN'T CUT IT OFF NOW deuce: (PUNCHLINE !!!)

dick: UP THAT THING, AMIGO dick: NO FOOLIN dick: RUMBA RUMBA RUMBA dick: OH YEAH dick: JESUS dick: UH-OH dick: HERE COMES OLD MAN MILLER dick: THAT FAG ALWAYS WANTS A BLOW JOB dick: STAND BACK dick: BLOWING dick: BLOWING dick: BLOWING dick: POP! dick: (GLAD THAT'S OVER) dick: WELL THAT'S IT FOR DICK dick: NO MORE dick: ENDING dick: SAD

spigot: THE WORLD IS STILL TALKING ABOUT THE SHITTY FLORIDA CONDO THAT FLOPPED OVER LIKE IT'S 9/11 deuce: IT JUST DID IT TO GET ATTENTION spigot: WE GO LIVE NOW, TO THE DIRT CLUMPS spigot: EVERYONE PLEASE MOVE BACK, SOME OF THESE CLUMPS ARE CLODS

pants: T DEUCE HOW ABOUT WE RE-WATCH CHERNOBYL AND DON’T BEAT EACH OTHER OFF DURING THE SHOW deuce: YES ON #1, NO ON #2 deuce: IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO MASTURBATE TO THAT SHOW

deuce: I'M A PROPONENT OF CRITICAL BONEQUEST THEORY pants: C / B / T spigot: GOTTA HAVE A J / O / B IF YOU WANNA pants: GROUND MY BALLS INTO BEEF

deuce: I AM THE WEAKEST LINK

deuce: CLIMBING MT. PANTS pants: WHAT DO YOU SEE FROM UP THERE deuce: SUSPECTED HOMO-SEXUALS pants: BETTER GET DOWN AND HELP ME FIGHT THEM deuce: I LIKE IT UP HERE deuce: THEY CAN'T PATHFIND TO ME YOU SEE pants: BUT THEY CAN TO ME!!!!! YOU MONSTER deuce: WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU, YOU'RE A MOUNTAIN pants: I STILL HAVE FEELINGS AND A HEART AND A HOLE deuce: QUIET, YOU deuce: GOOD MOUNTAINS SHOULD LOOK PRETTY AND HAVE DINNER READY AND NOT TALK BACK

spigot: IS THERE ROOM IN YOUR HEART FOR TEN BIG DICKS IN YOUR MOUTH

deuce: LOVE deuce: SOFT AS AN EASY deuce: THUD

pants: CAN’T PISS UNLESS YOU WATCH spigot: :NEGATIVE_SQUARED_CROSS_MARK: DOUBT

deuce: FOLKS MY BALLS CAN'T GET A FAIR TRIAL IN THIS CITY deuce: ESPECIALLY WHEN THE CRIME THEY ARE ACCUSED OF IS COVERING A CITY AND BLOCKING OUT THE LIGHT (SPECIFICALLY THIS CITY) deuce: I SUGGEST A CHANGE OF VENUE AND PERHAPS A CHANGE OF UNDERWEAR

spigot: OH GOD A TROPICAL BIRD FLEW UP MY NOSE AND NOW I'M TOUCAN SAM deuce: HASSAN CHOP spigot: AM I BEING DETAINED :PARROT: spigot: :RAINBOW: :PARROT: BLORF

deuce: YOU CAN'T SPELL "RAPE" WITHOUT A pants: A++++++ deuce: OR E FOR THAT MATTER deuce: OKAY "RAPE" WAS A BAD EXAMPLE pants: ANY OTHERS deuce: OKAY deuce: YOU CAN'T SPELL "TEAM" WITHOUT A deuce: ALSO E deuce: FUCK THIS

deuce: MY PRONOUNS ARE (CAR HORN) AND (PURE 440 HZ SINE WAVE)

spigot: I'D RATHER BE STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR WITH A FILTHY, OBSCENE DOM DELOUISE THAN A FAMILY-ORIENTED BLABBERY DOM DELOUISE spigot: THE MORE YOU KNOW

deuce: LET'S GET DOWN TO BRASS TACKS: I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU MAKE THE BRASS TACKS POKE THE SOLES OF MY FEET (IT HURTS) deuce: I SUSPECT YOU KNOW THIS SO I'M REALLY NOT PLEASED WITH THIS BEHAVIOR deuce: IT'S AS IF YOU'RE TRYING TO CAUSE ME PAIN [STRAPPED DOWN IN A GOURNEY, IMMOBLE]

spigot: I'M GOING TO CALL YOU WRANGLER deuce: BECAUSE I'M ONE TOUGH CUSTOMER???? spigot: I GUESS I MEANT WANGLER

pants: THE OFFICIAL POSITION OF MY DONG IS THAT IT CANNOT BE SOFT

deuce: FUCK A DUCK FOR ME

deuce: AIR FORCE 1 deuce: I CHOOSE NOT TO SPELLTHE NUMERAL OUT deuce: AND THAT MAKESME A TERRORIST pants: BOMBING YOUINTO THE DUST

pants: YOU ARE ALL ARE PROBABLY ASLEEP pants: MY SECRET QUEERNESS STARTS AT NIGHT pants: BUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

spigot: IN THIS CARTOONTHE FAT CATS REPRESENTPOLITICIANS !!! spigot: MEOW MEOW MEOWMEOW CHONKER MEOW spigot: NOW STICK ITIN MY MEOWTH

pants: CAN'T WE GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WEREWHEN GAYS WERE GROSSAND TOM CRUISE PLAYING VOLLEYBALL IN TOP GUNWAS TOTALLY HETEROAND SEATBELTS WERE FOR PUSSIESAND MICHAEL KEATON WAS BATMAN AND AOL CDROMSAND JAPANAMANGAMANIAGOD BLESS AMERICA GOOD NIGHT

deuce: FIRST QUESTION RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE: "WHAT IS THE LIMIT AS X APPROACHES 0 OF SINE OF X DIVIDED BY X" deuce: SORRY, THAT'S INCORRECT deuce: THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, BUT I'M AFRAID WE'RE AN ALL-CALCULUS CANDLE SHOPPE HERE

spigot: ALL IN THE TOILET /THE TOILET / THE TOILET spigot: ALL IN THE TOILET /THE TOILET / TO-DAY bung: WE'RE SPLISHING /WE'RE SPLASHING /WITH POO STICKSWE'RE BASHING spigot: VERSE 2 NEEDS ONEMORE SYLLABLE SIR/MA'AM deuce: I HATE DUETS

deuce: FIRST SHA1SUM COLLISION AND CIVILIZATION COLLAPSES pants: I’M OKAY WITH THAT deuce: IN 3 2 1

deuce: KNOW WHAT'S GREAT ABOUT MONIQUE ALEXANDER???? spigot: I SURELY DOBUT YOU FIRST deuce: [CRICKETS] spigot: [CRICKETS] deuce: [WAY WAY LOUDER CRICKETS]

deuce: I'M A KITTY deuce: MEOW deuce: I FUCK BUTTHOLES deuce: MEOW

pants: FORCING THINGS (SPOONS,ETC.) UP ME deuce: I CAN RESPECT THAT

deuce: MY CAT IS CURRENTLY DRINKING WATER HOW COPY deuce: HE GOT SPOOKED AND LEFT,HOW DO YOU READ effigy: 5 BY 5 KNIGHT RIDER ONE deuce: WILL KEEP YOU UP TODATE KNIGHT RIDER ACTUAL effigy: NOT NECESSARYCOMMANDER,ENJOY YOURSELFOUT THERE.

spigot: DID YOU MEAN: BONNER FARM spigot: NO I DID NOT

pants: T DEUCE I LICK DICK FOR THE CIA AND THE KGB deuce: T PANTS DOUBLE-DICKING THAT IS

deuce: I'M A HOT POCKET pants: PUTTING YOU INTHE CRISPING SLEEVE deuce: FUCK YEAH deuce: THIS MEANS I'M BEING TREATED SPECIALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOOOOO MICROWAVED AND KILLED

deuce: GARK THE PLANET

net: DID I MENTION I'M GOING TO LEARN ESPERANTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH deuce: T NET ARE YOU REALLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH

spigot: SOME CAR OUT THERE NEEDS A NEW FAN BELT pants: THOSE ARE CRICKETS spigot: WELL THEY ALL NEED NEW FAN BELTS

spigot: WE DON'T COMMENT ON ACTIVE BEATOFFS spigot: IF YOU DON'T SEE THE TOILET, YOU ARE THE TOILET pants: NAPALM STICKS TO LITTLE GIRLS

spigot: POPPING INTO YOUR STALL ON MY UNDER-CAR ROLLER

spigot: JUST CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY FORCES AND INTERACTIONS BEHAVE SO DIFFERENTLY AT SMALL SCALES THAN THEY DO LARGE SCALES spigot: WHY IS PETTING A CAT AND PUNCHING A CAT SO FUNDAMENTALLY DISSIMILAR spigot: A DICK IN YOUR MOUTH AND A DICK UP YOUR ASS SHOULD OBEY THE SAME SET OF RULES — BUT NO spigot: ANYWAY, WORTH NOODLING ON FOR 200 YEARS spigot: COULD ED BARBARA FROM FURNITURE USA FLY OR WAS THAT A DREAM

pants: HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO DO THIS deuce: YOU'LL KNOWWHEN I'M DONE

deuce: MY NEW PORN NAMEIS CYTOKINE STORM

pants: OUR TRUE ENEMY pants: HAS YET pants: TO REVEAL HIMSELF pants: OR HERSELF!!!!!!!!!!!! IN THIS YEAR OF OUR LORD 2020 OUR TRUE ENEMY COULD BE A WOMAN

effigy: URINE deuce: DELICIOUS AND BUBBLY deuce: YELLOW AND TRUE pants: SO GLAD IT’S ONLY pants: PEE AND NOT POO

:: HAS JOINED THE ROOM effigy: WE ARE ALL TIME TRAVELERS!!!!!111 :: HAS LEFT THE ROOM

spigot: THERE'S LICKING DICKS IN SPACE AND THERE'S LICKING DICKS FROM SPACE

pants: JACK ME OFF deuce: N pants: PLZ deuce: NN

deuce: +++ deuce: ATH deuce: I'M A HAYES-COMPATIBLE MODEM deuce: INSERT YOUR PENIS INTO ME pants: I’LL NEVER GET FIRED FOR INSERTING MY PENIS INTO YOU

net: I'M A DICK net: DOESN'T ANYONE HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT????????? deuce: NOT AT PRESENT deuce: I'M BIDING MY TIME UNTIL YOU FALL ASLEEP net: THE DICK DOES NOT SLEEP deuce: BUT THE NET SURE DOES

spigot: ALL SET TO ENTER THE QUEER TIER ?️

spigot: T DEUCE JOIN ME IN THE SQUIRT BOOTH AT THE SPRAY PARK FOR THE SPLOP FAIR deuce: I DO NOTKNOW WHAT THAT IS

deuce: GOD IS MADE OF DEUCE'S SHITS deuce: AND ALSO PLASTIC deuce: OH AND SOME FRITOS deuce: APOLOGIES TO ALL MY RELIGIOUS FRIENDS BUT deuce: WWWWWWWWWWWW WASTED

deuce: EXTERN INT ERRNO; pants: SUNG TO THE TUNE OF RICHIE VALON'S LA BAMBA pants: URRRK YOU ARE HANGING ME FROM A LAMP POST deuce: I WANT TO DISPLAY YOU FOR ALL TO SEE AS A LESSON pants: I SEE pants: :NOTES: ERRNO / ERRNO deuce: I JUST A TOOK A SHOWER!!!! YOU'RE WELCOME, WESTERN UNITED STATES

spigot: I GOT VAXXED BUT I STILL HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM

deuce: COULD SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO JERK OFF deuce: I WANT TO GIVE IT A SHOT BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO START pants: CAN I PERFORM THEM AS A HIP-HOP SONG

spigot: DO YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME PUTTING GLITTER ON HOT DOGS

pants: I AM ELVRO THE ELF deuce: I'M FIDOTHE HOBBIT deuce: OH THE ADVENTURES WE'LL HAVE !!! pants: WE WILL GO EXPLORING deuce: YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: HOW DO WE GET INTO THE DUNGEON (NOT THINKING STRAIGHT) :: HEADS STRAIGHT TOWARDS THE DOOR MARKED "MEN" pants: OKAY COME IN THERE ARE ELVES IN HERE (MUFFLED, FROM BEHIND DOOR) deuce: OKAY NOW THERE'S JUST FIDO !!! deuce: JOIN US TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT GREAT ADVENTURE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

spigot: HOW COOL WILL IT BE WHEN WE CAN SHIT ON OUR PHONES AND FOLD THEM LIKE A WAFFLE IRON

deuce: I'M A C-STYLE COMMENT pants: TAKE IT OFFBABY deuce: PLEASE DO NOT USE ME RECURSIVELY BECAUSE THEN I WILL CRY pants: ALL RIGHT THAT’S ABOUT ALL WE NEED HERE GO AHEAD AND PUT IT BACK ON BABY

spigot: THEY SHOULD REBRAND AS GIRAFFEGHANISTAN AND GIVE EVERYONE RIDES :GIRAFFE_FACE::GIRAFFE_FACE::GIRAFFE_FACE::GIRAFFE_FACE::GIRAFFE_FACE::GIRAFFE_FACE:

pants: ARE YOU DRINKING ENOUGH PISS pants: THAT WAS RUDE OF ME, WHAT I MEANT TO SAY: pants: ARE WE DRINKING ENOUGH PISS deuce: I'M DRINKING PLENTY BUSTER deuce: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE LIKES OF YOU!!! deuce: NOTHIN' BUT NET pants: AND SOME PISS pants: TOILET PIG

spigot: ROUGHLY TWENTY OF YOUR EARTH DICKS

pants: ARE BOTH OF YOUR DADS GAY OR JUST THE ONE

deuce: DUST BOWL TRANSPLANTS pants: PLEASE SUCK IT pants: PRICKCHECK!!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY POST GIF OR JPEG NO TIFF PLZ

deuce: I'M A HARDON bung: I'M AN OPEN MOUTH deuce: WE WILL MAKE A FINE TEAM bung: LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER deuce: AND WHORES AND AIDS

spigot: THE ONLY JAMS I'M PUMPING OUT ARE FROM THIS PLASTIC BOTTLE OF SMUCKER'S SQUEEZABLE STRAWBERRY spigot: PLPHLTPPHL spigot: PLPGLTH spigot: NOW I CAN BEAT OFF

deuce: IF YOU EAT PLAY-DOH YOU WILL SHIT IT OUT deuce: ^^^ TRUE STORY ^^^ spigot: LIKE IN FUNNY SHAPES ??

pants: :HIBISCUS: :SUNFLOWER: :TULIP: SUMMER DIARRHEA :CHERRY_BLOSSOM: :BLOSSOM: :BOUQUET:

pants: AS SOMEONE WHO HAS USED THE WEB SINCE 2007, spigot: IS YOUR DOG HAVING A HOPPY HOWL-OWEEN pants: SUCKING DICK AT THE DONUT WHEEL, NEXT 40 MINUTES spigot: :NOTES: SUCKING DICK AT THE DONUT WHEEL :NOTES:

deuce: T PANTS I JUST WASHED CLOTHES!!! NOW CAN I PLEASE BE LET OUT OF THE DUNGEON deuce: SORRY, *MAY* I pants: THE DIRTY CLOTHES DUNGEON OR THE REGULAR DUNGEON deuce: UNCLEAR (IT'S V. DARK) deuce: I THINK I SMELL A WUMPUS pants: SO THE REGULAR DUNGEON pants: DENIED

pants: HOW LUCKY I AM TO GROW OLD WITH MY FRIENDS spigot: MORE LIKE GROW FAT WITH YOUR FAKE FRIENDS deuce: WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD YET spigot: LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY HANG YOURSELF WITH ETHERNET CABLE deuce: WHO EVEN INVITED YOU HERE spigot: YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE A CONFERENCE CALL deuce: YOU GODDAMN DUMB DONG spigot: WELCOME TO DUMB DONG WAREHOUSE EMPORIUM deuce: IF YOU GET A CHANCE YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF spigot: WHO WRITES YOUR DIALOG deuce: AMERICAN FARTBAG spigot: STAY AWAY FROM ME :NOTES: pants: :HEART_EYES::HEART_EYES::HEART_EYES: MY FRIENDS :HEART_EYES::HEART_EYES::HEART_EYES:

pants: I'M JUST SAYING THAT YOU HAVE A HABIT OF FEEDING ANIMALS THINGS THAT THEY ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT pants: GIRAFFES DO NOT EAT SNICKERS BARS, SEAGULLS DO NOT EAT KIT-KATS AND BUBBLE-BUTTED TWINK TRAPS DO NOT EAT PEANUTS pants: WELL MAYBE THEY DO pants: WHO REALLY KNOWS ANYTHING deuce: DEUCE DOES NOT EAT VEGETABLES

spigot: OFF TO MARINE WORLD TO HAVE A "WHALE" OF A GOOD TIME !!!!!!! spigot: RIDING THE WHALE AROUND WALGREENS spigot: MORE LIKE THE WHALEGREENS

pants: WORTH CONSIDERING: MY WIENER deuce: FECKLESS pants: WHEREAS I SEE THEGLASS AS FECKFUL deuce: AND SCENE

spigot: POUND MY BALLS SO I QUALIFY FOR FEMA AID

pants: MORE TOAST PLEASE deuce: YOU HAVE REACHEDYOUR TOAST QUOTA

spigot: TURNS OUT EL CIDJUST MEANS THE CID